Mrs. America (2020) s01e01 Episode Script
Phyllis
1
What is Devs?
What is Devs?
What is Devs?
(screams)
(dishes clattering in distance)
(match strikes, sizzling)
(applause, whistling
in distance)
(indistinct announcement
over speakers)
(indistinct conversations)
Do these look real?
-No.
-No.
-No.
Where's Phyllis?
She's up next.
Oh. Um, she's already there,
waiting.
EMCEE:
Next, we have the wife
of one of our biggest donors,
Mrs. J. Fred Schlafly.
(applause, whistling)
Ready for summer
in this patriotic swimsuit
courtesy of Marshall Field.
Fred is an attorney
in Alton, Illinois.
He and his wife have been active
-in the Republican Party
for many years,
-Whoa!
and we thank them
for coming out to support
Congressman Phil Crane's
reelection campaign.
And next up is
Mrs. Philip Crane,
the wife of the man of the hour.
Look smart
in this evening dress
from Neiman Marcus.
-Are you gonna buy the mink?
-I prefer sable.
Thank God they asked you
to model this time.
You know,
when you were campaigning,
I got stuck with the bikini,
and I'd just given birth to
Sarah about ten minutes earlier.
You ran an incredible campaign
that year.
Oh, thank you.
If only you didn't have
to be a man to win downstate.
Oh, that wasn't the issue.
It was a terrible year for us.
You'd have to go back
to, uh, 1934
to find such a bad year
for Republicans.
My husband won.
Well, Fred said
I would have won
if the Democrats hadn't
rigged the congressional map
in their favor.
DOROTHY:
How are your kids
adjusting to D.C. life?
-You bought a house
in Alexandria.
-ARLENE: McLean.
DOROTHY:
Oh, I hear that's
a lovely neighborhood.
-Are you ladies decent?
-Hi!
-Oh.
-Hi.
Did you have a good time
out there?
-Yes.
-Yes.
-Okay. (chuckles)
Now, shoo,
so we can get changed.
Okay, well,
thank you all again.
This event wouldn't be a success
without you,
and I look forward to having you
on my show next week.
-Mm-hmm.
-Uh, please wear that.
(laughs)
("A Fifth of Beethoven"
by Walter Murphy playing)
(indistinct chatter)
DIRECTOR:
Looks good.
We need to white balance.
-DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY:
What about off her face?
-(Director chuckles)
-PHIL:
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
-Good afternoon, Mr. Crane.
PHIL:
How are you?
I'm so sorry
to keep you waiting.
-PHYLLIS: No.
-PHIL: Sorry.
Okay.
I had to release a statement
on the Consumer Product
Safety Act.
Oh.
How will you vote?
You'll have to ask my
chief of staff. (short chuckle)
DIRECTOR:
Mr. Crane, we'll be starting
in about a minute.
All right.
Okay, so I will begin
by introducing the topic.
-Mm-hmm.
-And then I'm gonna
ask you to weigh in.
It's debate style. But I'm gonna
throw you some easy questions
so you don't seem
in over your head, okay?
-Thank you, doll.
-Okay.
-Thank you, sir.
And I might disagree with you
just to
make it more fun
for the viewers, so
-Mm-hmm.
-Relax.
Look like you're having fun,
even if you're not.
And, uh
don't forget to smile.
What?
Smile, with teeth.
-DIRECTOR: Rolling.
-You want to practice?
-(music playing)
-I think I've got it.
-PHIL: Okay.
(chuckles)
We're up.
-DIRECTOR: Action.
-(clears throat)
Good evening,
and welcome to
Conservative Viewpoint.
I'm your host, Philip Crane.
My guest tonight hails
from our home state of Illinois.
She burst onto
the national scene in 1964,
when she wrote
A Choice Not an Echo,
which sold three million copies
and was widely credited
with helping Barry Goldwater
secure the Republican
presidential nomination.
She has since authored
four books on nuclear strategy
and served
in national party offices.
Please welcome Phyllis Schlafly.
-Well, thank you for having me.
-Absolutely.
You know, I got to know
how does a housewife
with six children,
from Alton, Illinois,
become so interested
in national defense
and nuclear warfare?
Well, uh, I was
at Washington University
studying political science
when World War II broke out,
and I worked nights as a gunner
and a ballistics technician.
-A regular Rosie the Riveter.
-Yes, that's right.
Uh, tonight's topic
is the crisis
in America's defense posture,
specifically the Strategic Arms
Limitation Talks,
or SALT.
Now, should we accept a deal
with a regime as reprehensible
as Brezhnev's Soviet Union?
From a defense standpoint,
this pact serves
certain common interests
namely, the avoidance
of nuclear war.
You would agree
with that assessment, Phyllis?
Well, not entirely, no.
Not entirely?
Which part don't you agree with?
Well, I'm afraid
all of it, Phil.
Y-You see,
the-the U.S. delegation
has naively been telling
the Russians, you know,
"Peace is wonderful.
Try it, you'll like it.
It's like Life cereal."
But I think they're gonna get
the last laugh,
because the only country
that's gonna comply with
the pact is the United States.
They don't comply,
we'll know, won't we?
The experts maintain we have
the most advanced satellite
-technology systems
in the world.
-Yes, but these are the same
experts that
didn't find the missiles
that went into Cuba in 1962.
I mean, they didn't even detect
the Soviet-built MiG-17
flying from Cuba
to Homestead Air Force Base
in Florida two years ago.
Uh, so you think
we're proceeding down the wrong
path with the SALT talks.
Yeah, well, not only are we
proceeding down the wrong path,
Phil, but Nixon's
leading the parade.
(coughs)
All right.
Well, we will be, uh,
right back after this commercial
on more
Strategic Arms Limitation Talks.
-Cut.
-(bell rings)
-PHYLLIS: I'm
I am having so much fun.
(laughs)
Well, that was electrifying.
(chuckles)
You are Wow.
You are a star.
These sound guys you know,
they listen to everything.
-(chuckles): Oh.
-Am I gonna see you
on the campaign trail?
I don't know.
Have to see what
the county chairman decides.
I've already lost twice.
Well, the third time's
a charm.
You know, you
there's things you can do
to get these county chairmen
to come knock on your door.
-Hmm?
-I can introduce you
to some money guys.
When are you next in D.C.?
-I'm not sure.
-Well, Ashbrook and I
are setting up a meeting
with Goldwater.
He's our best hope at convincing
Nixon not to sign this treaty.
And I think
you should come for that.
Really?
You know more than any of us
about SALT.
Well, that would be wonderful.
Thank you.
(classical music playing
on stereo)
-ELEANOR:
You tried Marshall Field's?
-PHYLLIS: Mm-hmm, yes.
-ELEANOR: How about Scruggs?
-PHYLLIS: Yes.
Oh, nothing at Scruggs?
Well, yes,
but she says nothing fits.
Well, have to go back
in the city and look some more.
Your sister can't do it?
She lives right there.
No.
She works.
I work.
-You're a good daughter.
-You're coming, right?
I don't think so.
Well, the girls will want
their Aunt Eleanor there.
We only call it
a mother-daughter luncheon
because we're trying to attract
a younger generation.
It's not literal.
It's open to any member
of the DAR.
Willie just pulled these
out of the oven.
-I snuck you a couple.
-Thank you, Leonia.
(gasps) Andy was looking
for his Little League uniform.
Oh, it's still in the dryer,
Miss Schlafly.
-Thank you.
-PHYLLIS: Thank you.
Do you remember Raymond Bacha?
Yeah, I saw him
at Phil Crane's fundraiser.
He's divorced now.
Oh, that's too bad.
-Oh, no. No. No.
-He's nice-looking,
and his children
are mostly grown.
Do you want me to talk to Fred?
I think he represented him once.
I don't think so.
He's Catholic.
He is nice-looking.
What are you smiling about?
The judges approved
the redistricting plan.
Mm-hmm.
(gasps)
"The new map
could mean the defeat
"of downstate Democrat
Representative George E. Shipley
of the 23rd district."
I need to talk to Fred.
W-Would you
-Drop Andy off at practice.
-Thank you!
-Well, what do you think of him?
-Well, I don't.
Mm, but you're friendly
enough to call him.
Well, I guess so,
but why am I calling him?
-(sighs)
To introduce him to your sister.
-But why?
Because he's divorced.
Eleanor's too old for him.
No.
He's older than she is.
Raymond is
a very successful man.
If he remarries, it'll be
to someone much younger.
Don't give me that look.
It's biology.
That is not biology.
I married someone
much younger.
And here I thought
you married me for my mind.
Not only did I marry you
for your mind,
it's the reason I fall more
in love with you every day.
I just love to watch
the way your mind works.
Well, can you see the way
it's working right now?
Let's see.
This morning,
I noticed that article
in the paper
about the remapping
of congressional districts.
Next thing you know,
my wife shows up at the office
under the pretext of buying
my mother-in-law a dress.
Oh, I do need to buy Mother
a dress.
The muffins are the pretext.
Don't forget to sign
the charge card application.
I know you don't want
to hear this,
but, uh, our district
has only changed from
slightly Democratic
to slightly Republican.
Well, I was only
slightly defeated.
You have a nice home here.
You can do whatever you like.
Write books, your newsletter.
Give lectures.
In Congress
I would have influence.
I could get on
the Armed Services Committee.
They'd put you on
Natural Resources or Judiciary
and expect you
to toe the party line.
Isn't this why we got involved
in politics
to do our duty?
To guarantee that
our children grow up
in a free and independent
country?
That's a nice trick,
repeating me back to me.
Still, I haven't recovered
from all the money
I sunk into your last bid.
What about Clem?
I don't know, maybe you could
run into him at the club.
-(knocking)
-MAN: I heard
there were muffins.
-May I?
-I brought them for the office.
Ooh. Nancy won't keep any
sweets around the house.
She wants to try to lose
the baby weight.
-How is the baby?
-Oh, he mostly just sits there.
Nancy keeps telling me to talk
to him, but what am I supposed
to talk to him about, Vietnam?
-(laughs)
-These are delicious.
-Mm.
-Have you ever thought about
starting a baking business?
No.
I've never thought about that.
I, uh
I'll talk to Clem.
Will you invite him and Jessie
for dinner?
Mm-hmm.
-So I can be there.
-Mm-hmm.
Uh!
Oh.
Raindrops keep fallin'
on my head
And just like the guy
whose feet
- Are too big for his bed
-(indistinct chatter)
Nothing seems to fit those
But everyone keeps telling me
it's more convenient.
Formula just doesn't
have all the vitamins
your baby needs
for his immune system.
And it doesn't help you
lose the baby weight.
-Oh, I thought that was a myth.
-No, let me tell you something.
I was 40 by the time
I nursed Anne,
and after six months,
I weighed the same I did
on the day I was married.
Still do. You looked
teeny, tiny like Cheryl Tiegs
on Phil Crane's show,
and supposedly
those television cameras
add ten pounds.
You watched it.
Course I did.
I'm your biggest booster.
Although, I have to be honest.
I was surprised
that you didn't
come out strongly
against the
Equal Rights Amendment.
Oh, I don't know
what all the fuss is about.
I mean, there are
so many more pressing issues,
like national security.
Well, this is a matter
of national security.
They're going to ship
our daughters off to Vietnam.
Women could be subject
to the draft?
And I heard it would get rid
of alimony.
-Oh, I heard that, too.
-Buck could walk out on me
after 25 years
without paying a dime.
I'd be left with nothing.
You know,
this would be a good topic
for the luncheon.
I'm not the only one concerned.
Buck's never gonna leave you.
Only because I'd kill him
if he did.
You have nothing to worry about.
You have skills and been
politicking for years.
Well, yes, but I-I barely
receive an income for it.
I mean, I couldn't do what I do
without Fred's support.
Still, you're not
just a housewife.
You're never just a housewife.
There's no more important job
for a woman.
Well, tell that to the host
of the dinner party
we were invited to last week.
He was introducing
everyone at the table.
-Mm-hmm.
-Two of the wives work.
One's a lawyer.
One's in business.
And after he introduced Buck,
he skips over me completely,
doesn't even say my name.
Hmm.
Thank you, Gloria Steinem.
(scoffs)
The rest of them I understand,
but Gloria Steinem
she's so pretty. How could she
not find a husband?
She doesn't want one.
That's the whole point of the
women's liberation movement
to be liberated from men.
I thought the point was to be
liberated from housework.
-(laughing)
-HAIRDRESSER:
Your mother's all done.
Didn't she do a wonderful job?
Thank you so much.
It's beautiful.
You hate it.
I hate it.
Me.
Do you need any help?
Mother?
I think that's the one.
You don't think
it's big in the shoulders?
We could take it
to my seamstress.
Let me take another look.
PHYLLIS:
You have to wind the clock
every seven days
or it stops working.
DADIE:
Well, I can't find the crank.
I should just get rid of it.
You can't get rid
of Daddy's clock.
I'll take it.
It is smart.
It's very smart.
Did you
forget to pay some bills?
Why are you going
through my things?
I wasn't going
through your things, Mother.
They just jumped out. Do you
need me to help you manage them?
Have you run through
your savings?
I can't live
on my Social Security check.
-Mm-hmm.
-Your father didn't work
-long enough to be eligible
-I know.
-for a pension.
-Mm-hmm.
He was many wonderful things.
Mother, please don't start.
But a good provider
was not one of them.
You're very lucky you have Fred.
Remember to thank him for me.
-Oh, yeah.
-For the dress.
It's, uh
I love it.
-ANDY: Can I have one?
-(door opens)
-You'll ruin your appetite.
-Hi, Mommy.
-Hello.
-(whooshing)
-The spinach soufflé
will be ready in ten minutes.
-Aw.
Everything else
is on top of the stove.
Thank you, Willie.
Mr. Schlafly home?
Not yet.
Alice came by
and dropped this off for you.
(door opens, closes)
Uh, Andy.
Make yourself useful.
-(door closes)
-Ring for dinner.
Phyl, would you?
Anne, help your sister.
-How'd it go?
-Can I take my coat off,
-at least, and settle in?
-Here. Let me get that for you.
Who was there?
The usual crowd.
Foster, Jerry.
So?
What did Clem say?
Can we talk about this
after dinner?
Oh, of course.
Can you just tell me
what he said?
I invited him to dinner,
like we discussed.
-No running, please.
-Sorry, Mom.
PHYLLIS:
Uh, when?
Linda's handling it.
But he thinks
it's a good idea.
-(sighs)
-I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
It's just very exciting.
Now, it would be terrific
if the dinner could happen
before my trip to D.C.
What trip to D.C.?
The Goldwater meeting.
About SALT.
-How long will you be gone?
-I-It's ju
it's just for the day.
Eleanor will be here.
I don't know how you can
stand that place.
Well, I don't
love Washington either.
-But, Fred, if I win
-I-I am not moving our family
to that lefty,
godless swampland.
Well, the National Air
and Space Museum's nice.
I'm not, uh, telling you
not to run.
I'm just telling you,
I am staying here in Alton.
I'll commute back and forth.
Oh, and how would that work
with the children
-and, uh, your mother?
-I'll figure it out.
You know,
it's what congressmen do.
-(scoffs)
-They stay in their district.
Well, it's different for a man
to leave his wife home
and go to Washington
than it is for a woman
to leave her whole family.
I mean, it's just
plain different.
Do you want me not to run?
(sighs)
That's your decision.
-Is it?
-I'm not going to apologize
-for asking my wife
not to split up the family.
-(scoffs)
Now you're just
being ridiculous.
I will make it work, Fred.
You won't have to do a thing.
'Cause I don't understand
what's changed.
You supported my run
two years ago.
You didn't think I would win.
ALL:
Bless us, O Lord,
and these, Thy gifts
which we are about to receive
from Thy bounty,
through Christ, our Lord.
Amen.
I like to dream
Yes, yes, right between
the sound machine
On a cloud of sound
I drift in the night
Any place it goes is right
Goes far, flies near
- To the stars away from here
-(crowd chanting, chattering)
Well, you don't know what
We can find
Why don't you come with me,
little girl
On a magic carpet ride
You don't know what
We can see
Why don't you tell
your dreams to me
Fantasy will
set your dreams free
WOMAN (on megaphone):
We're just waiting
on a few more buses,
and then we'll all
head to the Capitol Building.
Let the sound
take you away
(indistinct chatter continuing)
REPORTER:
Congresswoman Chisholm,
do you foresee
any opposition against
the Equal Rights Amendment
in today's debate in the House?
There will be a handful
of congressmen
who will oppose the ERA
based on the belief that women
have their place and must be
kept in it for their own good,
but that belief is dying.
Now, the truth is,
women have been protected
from working
as waitresses at night
when the tips are large,
but they have
never been protected
when working as charwomen,
scrubbing floors all night.
We don't need anybody
to protect us.
Why don't you
tell your dreams to me
Fantasy will set you free
You don't know what
Well, it's not that I don't
want to help you
get the raccoon
out of your garage,
it's just that Woodside is
(chuckles)
not in my district.
I tell you what
I'm gonna have my office
transfer you to your actual
member of Congress.
I don't know if he answers
his own phone. Let's find out.
Sharon, line one
is for Pucinski's office.
-You answer your own phone.
-A few times a week, yes.
Otherwise, I I lose sight
of the real issues
that affect my constituents,
like a backed-up sewer,
a missing TV Guide
or a raccoon
that has wandered
into some guy's garage.
-(laughs)
-You're early.
Were you hoping to catch
some of the ERA debate?
-Oh, no.
-I didn't think so.
And why not?
Well, you are wearing a dress.
Oh, libbers don't wear dresses?
-Not pink ones.
-Well, actually,
it's dusty rose.
Actually, it is distracting.
(laughs)
Now, I was hoping to have
that talk about,
uh, the, uh, campaign financing
before the meeting
with Goldwater.
Right, well,
certainly his endorsement
would mean
a great deal to donors.
Oh, well, as would yours.
My, uh, schedule's
a little tight today,
but why don't we
have drinks afterwards?
Oh, well, I'm not
much of a drinker, so
Oh, well, so don't drink.
Watch me drink.
Or better yet, let's have
dinner. You ever been to Duke's?
Right. Well, I am scheduled
to fly out before dinnertime,
but you, uh, mentioned
you could introduce me
to the right people.
Perhaps, uh, Bob Dole?
We would probably
run into him at Duke's.
Come on, you'll love it. A lot
of lobbyists hang out there.
A lot of PAC money to be had.
Can you fly out
in the morning?
Well, I guess so.
Uh
(indistinct conversations)
RECEPTIONIST:
Hello, Secretary
Goldwater's office.
-(door opens)
-JILL: Well, if you're not gonna
vote for the ERA because
you think it will boost
your maverick image,
let me tell you, Senator,
it won't.
It will boost your image
as a chauvinist pig.
I don't care.
I answer to a higher authority.
Your constituents
will hold you accountable
in the next election.
I meant God, but what would
you know about that?
Or Arizona. It's all Republican
all the time.
-That's the beauty of the place.
-Don't look at me
like that, Bella.
I'm voting for it.
Well, you, I like.
PHIL:
Hi, Barry. You know Phyllis.
Phyllis, nice to see you.
Oh, the pleasure's
all mine, Senator.
What do you make
of all this ERA business?
It's not her area
of expertise.
-She's a woman.
-Yes, I think I can speak
from my own experience.
I've-I've never been
discriminated against
and I think some women
like to blame sexism
for their failures
instead of admitting
they didn't try hard enough,
so good for you for opposing it.
Well, not so good.
I'm the only one.
We know you're short on time,
Barry, so,
uh, I'll cut to the chase.
We need your help.
You have Nixon's ear.
He must be convinced
not to sign any arms control
treaty with Moscow.
Oh, if, uh, if you don't mind,
we'd rather this meeting
stay off the record.
Margaret?
This is Neville Chamberlain
all over again.
Well, look, I know you're not
going to want to hear this,
but he's determined
to sign a treaty.
Well, I think
we should focus specifically
on our biggest concerns
in the treaty,
which are the ABM limitations.
Now, our superiority in MIRVs
does not compensate
for the Russian superiority
in ICBMs, SS-9s
Hey, listen, could-could you
take notes for us?
You know, so that we have
an unofficial record?
Well, you probably have the best
penmanship of anyone here.
(chuckles):
Oh, yes, of course.
Margaret can grab you a pad.
Okay.
I'll be right back.
ASHBROOK:
It's a one-sided pact that
doesn't do anything to stop
Hello there.
You must be Margaret.
Could I have a a notepad?
MARGARET:
Of course.
(indistinct conversation)
MARGARET:
Here you go, Ms. Schlafly.
It's Mrs. Schlafly.
I'm married.
I'm so sorry, Mrs. Schlafly.
(muffled, indistinct
conversation continuing)
PHIL:
to their advantage
in building up their weapons
while we've been
in a weapons freeze?
Well, soon we'll have girls
in the foxholes,
and then we'll really
be at a disadvantage.
Well, I'm sorry.
I held my tongue earlier
when you asked me
about this ERA,
but I have to say,
if you're in favor
of this fraudulent amendment,
I don't think
you have any business
calling yourself a Republican.
(Ashbrook scoffs quietly)
It's an innocuous
piece of business.
H-Have you read it?
Oh, yes, I have read it,
Congressman.
Have you read it?
-What do you mean,
have I read it?
-Have you?
-Yes.
-What does section two say?
-I don't believe
there is a section two.
-No, no, no. Section two
states that "Congress
shall have the power
"to enforce,
by appropriate legislation,
the provisions of this article."
Now if the ERA passes, it will
give the federal government
a massive amount of power.
I mean, are we no longer
-the party of limited government
and states' rights?
-ASHBROOK: You have no idea
-the pressure that we're under.
-PHIL: We have to give
the women's movement something.
Oh, I think
you've given them plenty.
You've given them
the Pay Equity Act
and Title VII
of the Civil Rights Act,
both of which I supported,
not to mention
women are already protected
from discrimination
in the Constitution
by the Equal Protection Clause
under the 14th Amendment.
Now, I know of only one law
that is discriminatory
toward women,
and that is a North Dakota law
stipulating that a wife
must have her husband's
permission to make wine.
So if a woman in North Dakota
really wants to make wine
and her husband forbids it,
she can sue
for that right
under the 14th Amendment.
PHIL:
Okay. Maybe an amendment
is unnecessary.
And, yes, maybe we need
to do something about that
second clause, but sometimes
we have to vote for laws
that are symbolic
so we can the Dems to join us
in passing more substantive
items on our agenda,
-like tax reform.
-Well, I hope
your tax reform bill
is worth writing off
the 40 million homemakers for
whom the ERA is not symbolic.
The women I know are terrified.
They don't want to be drafted
into combat duty.
And you'll have to answer
to them come November.
I'm sorry, if saying all this
costs me your endorsement,
well, so be it.
(Goldwater chuckles)
I thought this wasn't
your area of expertise.
Well, I've been reading up.
Well, there's your stump speech.
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm not interested
in running on women's issues.
Still, it's, um, a good spin.
Of course, if it were possible
to get 40 million housewives
to stop clucking
and get out the vote,
I would have won
the presidency in '64,
and Reagan would be
in the White House now.
That's our problem.
I think you'll do
very well here.
And what exactly does "doing
very well here" mean, Phil
sitting around all day
horse trading about bills
-you don't even bother reading?
-What, is something wrong?
Oh, no, I'm just gonna try
and catch the next flight out.
I thought we were
gonna have dinner.
Oh, no, I've got to get home.
PHYLLIS:
Oh, thank you again
for putting the children to bed.
Uh, do you want to take some,
uh, food home for the weekend?
Um, I broiled a chicken
last night.
-I'll make a salad.
-Mm-hmm.
Uh, did Fred ever get a chance
to talk to Raymond Bacha?
Uh I don't think so.
Fred didn't think
it was a good idea.
No, I-I figured,
when you didn't
mention it again
So I just-I just
thought I'd check.
Oh, Eleanor.
Oh
Your life is so full.
Oh, you have your family
and and-and your friends.
-You've got millions of friends.
-Oh, well, yes.
You should see the way
they steer their daughters
away from me when I'm nearby.
-It's like they're
going to catch it.
-And your work.
You're doing such important
work at the foundation.
Do you know why I threw myself
into the foundation?
You all were busy
having babies.
I I don't know why.
How come no one
wanted to marry me?
You just had bad luck.
You know, the war and
I'm so sorry.
You must think I'm pathetic.
Now, stop it.
You are going through
a hard time, that's all.
-Now, it'll-it'll pass.
-Yeah.
Now, I want to say this.
You have been
more of a mother to my children
than most mothers.
-(sighs)
-They adore you.
Now, did I tell you
that both Phyl and Anne
asked if you're coming
to the mother-daughter luncheon?
-They want you there.
-Oh.
So you're gonna come,
and you're gonna be celebrated,
and that's that.
(chuckles, sniffles)
I should be going.
You must be really exhausted.
Mm.
Oh.
Oh, Anne took forever
to go to sleep.
Well, I'm happy you're home.
No, you are right
about Washington.
It is godless.
I can change that.
No, but I need you, Fred.
-I'm right here.
-(sighs)
(chuckles)
No, I've-I've had
-a really long day.
-Oh, wait, wait,
-where-where you going?
-Just to take out my contacts.
-They're killing me. Come
-Oh, come on, come on. Don't.
No, I smell.
I've been in this dress all day.
Well, then let's-let's
get you out of it.
FRED:
If visiting Moscow
and Beijing isn't enough
to pull your support
of Nixon's reelection,
I don't know what is.
-Who wants tea?
-Sure.
-Clem?
-I'll stick with this.
-Jessie?
-Thank you.
I'm not ideological like you.
It's like Mark Hanna said,
there are things
that are important in politics.
The first is money,
and I can't remember
-what the second one is.
-(chuckles)
Détente with China
is good for trade,
which is good for business.
Still, everyone has
their line in the sand.
What if Nixon
endorses the ERA?
Well, that affects my business.
Clem is apoplectic about it.
A billion here,
a billion there.
It starts to run
into real money.
But if it makes it through the
Senate the insurance industry
will be the least
of the casualties.
The left will demand
taxpayer-funded abortions,
state-run day care centers,
-women in foxholes.
-Sounds a lot like
the Kremlin's agenda.
Problem is, everyone
from Kennedy to Wallace
seems to be for it, and there's
no organized opposition.
CLEM:
Well, nobody wants to vote
against an amendment
that has the words
"equal rights" in the title.
Which is exactly why
they put it in the title.
Which is exactly why
we keep losing to them.
Eh, eh
-I can't sleep.
-Oh
Try counting sheep.
Do you want to come
sit with the grownups
till you get sleepy?
Here, let me help
with the tea.
Mm. She wrote most
of her books
with this one sitting
on her lap while she typed.
I think she can handle tea.
CLEM:
When you get elected, Phyllis,
you'd better be ready
to deal with the libbers.
They're all over D.C.
I appreciate your support,
but, uh,
I've decided
not to run this year.
Washington's broken.
I think it's a waste of time
to try and fix it.
I think I can shake things up,
uh, more effectively
through my
grassroots organizing,
right here at home.
Well
well, I always say that
real change
comes from the bottom up.
Besides, my mother
will be moving in with us soon.
She's getting older,
so it's just
not a good time.
WILLIE:
Mm
Oh, it's all in the wrists.
-BRUCE: Oh, okay. (laughs)
-(Willie laughs)
Ah eh
-Roger.
-Roger, go make yourself useful.
Those are ready to go out now.
(indistinct conversations)
-PHYLLIS:
Now I have, uh, no doubt
-Shh, shh, shh, shh.
that in the, uh, car ride,
uh, over today
that you warned your daughters
that I am chairman
of national defense
for the Daughters
of the American Revolution,
and as such, to, uh,
prepare themselves
for a lecture on the, uh,
need for an anti-missile
defense system
or the end of U.S.
nuclear superiority.
-(laughing)
-So it may
come as a surprise, uh, to you
that, uh, today I am not
going to talk about
the Soviet military threat,
but rather another threat.
A threat to
the traditional American family,
a threat that is
just as dangerous
and even more insidious
the threat of
the women's liberation movement.
-(murmuring)
-Let me be clear. I am not
against, uh, women succeeding.
I am not against women
working outside the home.
That's their choice.
But what I am against
is a small, elitist group
of Northeastern
establishment liberals
putting down the homemakers.
-Mm.
-Now, the libbers
love to say that
they're dedicated to choice,
but if you dare to choose
the path of full-time mother,
well, there must be
something wrong with you.
I mean, if you don't
feel enslaved,
well, you're just
dumb and unenlightened.
In fact,
you're not even a person.
'Cause, you see,
the women's liberation movement
is basically a very
negative attitude
toward life.
It-it tells women,
"Sister, the cards
are stacked against you.
"When you wake up
in the morning,
"you won't get a job.
And if you do,
"it won't be a good one,
"and if you get a good one,
you won't get promoted,
"and if you get married,
"your husband
will treat you like a servant,
"and marriage is just
a lot of dirty diapers
and dirty dishes."
-(chuckling)
-But don't take my word for it.
Read their own literature.
Betty Friedan,
mother of the movement,
wrote in The Feminine Mystique
that marriage is and I quote
"a comfortable
-concentration camp."
-(mouthing)
-(gasping, murmuring)
-But it is not enough that
they're demeaning us
in the press.
Oh, no.
Now they want to use
our miraculous Constitution
to create a sex-neutral society
through this so-called
Equal Rights Amendment,
which will mean that
that baby girl
-will be drafted.
-(women gasping)
And the men will be at home,
nursing the babies.
(laughing)
I mean, can you imagine if Buck
was left in charge
of your children?
Oh, God, help us.
(laughs)
Yes. That's right.
It-It's ridiculous,
and it's downright un-American,
because women
are the primary caregivers
in the home
because we bear the children.
And if the liberationists have a
problem with that, they're gonna
have to take it up with God.
Because what
is going to happen if you
push women out
into the workforce
is that women
are gonna find themselves
with two full-time jobs.
And they're going to be
exhausted and unhappy
and feel like
they're not doing either well,
until, eventually,
they decide
not to have children at all.
Maybe that's
the liberationists' goal.
I mean, after all,
their hero is Gloria Steinem
a single,
-childless woman nearing 40.
-(laughing)
But she is the sort of, uh,
miserable, uh, pathetic woman
they aspire to be.
She wants some kind
of Constitutional cure
for her personal problems.
And perhaps that is why
the liberationists are trying
to sow these seeds of discontent
among we happily married women.
They want us to join them
in some new sisterhood
of frustrated togetherness
because none of them can find
a man who wants to marry them.
-(laughing)
-(applause)
ANCHOR:
ABC's Bill Zimmerman
covered the story
in Brooklyn, New York.
ZIMMERMAN:
Mrs. Chisholm,
how are you feeling today?
Oh. I feel wonderful.
It's one of the most
marvelous things
to happen in our country
at this moment.
Uh, for the first time
in the history of our nation,
a person of color
a woman, at that
is running for
the highest office in the land,
and it's a wonderful thing
to know that,
in spite of the many
obstacles on my path,
a large, large cross-section
of America is behind me saying,
why not?
Why not dare to dream
like so many others
have dreamt before me?
So I'm very excited,
and I feel fine.
ZIMMERMAN:
And do you really expect
-to go all the way,
Mrs. Chisholm?
-Yes,
I expect to go all the way.
Ow
A new hat
or rather a bonnet
was tossed into the Democratic
presidential race today,
that of Mrs. Shirley Chisholm,
the first black woman
to serve in Congress.
Mrs. Shirley Chisholm
today announced
that she's going to run for
President of the United States.
Would you vote for a woman
for president?
-Yes, I would.
-Why?
Well, I think it's about time
we had a woman for president.
I don't think they're as
level-headed yet as the men are.
-I think it'd be a good idea
to have a woman president.
-Why?
Because it's good
to have a change.
I think president
is a man's job.
Yeah, I think she would make
a good president, but I doubt
if I doubt it that
she would be elected, though.
In the historic decision, the
Senate voted 84 to eight today
to approve
a Constitutional amendment
guaranteeing equal rights
to women.
The proposal goes to the states
for ratification.
Fire, oh, I'm on fire
-Did you call the speaker of
the House a four-letter word?
-No.
-Are you sure?
-Yes, I'm sure.
"Ass" is a three-letter word.
Come on, come on.
Come on!
(laughs)
I'm in heels.
Fire, fire
-(phones ringing)
-(indistinct chatter)
Fire
When I founded this national
women's political caucus
We all founded it, Betty
you, me, Gloria, Shirley.
-Yes, yes, but it was
my concept.
-(clears throat)
(sighs)
Fine.
My point is that I felt that
we needed to take our movement
from the streets to Congress,
and here we are,
just a year later,
and we are a political force
and we have our first
serious female candidate
-for president.
-(whooping, applause)
-WOMAN: Chizzy for president.
-Chizzy for prezzy!
-Chizzy for prezzy.
And yesterday
the Equal Rights Amendment
-sailed through the Senate.
-(cheering, applause)
That's right.
Hawaii ratified
less than 30 minutes
after the Senate vote.
Delaware and New Hampshire will
have it ratified by tomorrow.
We have seven years,
but we'll get it done in one.
No, and even Nixon is on
our side. And thank you
-for that
last-minute endorsement.
-See? He's not all bad.
-He's mostly bad.
-JILL: If we would like our
women's caucus to be bipartisan,
perhaps the Democrats
in this room could refrain
from trashing the president
at every meeting?
-I thought trashing Nixon
was bipartisan.
-(laughing)
No, but, you know,
Jill is right.
Our movement is about fighting
oppression of all women.
You know, there are
too few of us,
and we're not
each other's enemies.
What are you talking about?
There are plenty of us.
Does this mean that you're now
for lesbian rights?
I never said
I was against lesbian rights.
I said that I didn't want to
declare at the press conference
that we're all lesbians,
'cause we're not all lesbians.
-Whoa!
-INTERN: I'm sorry to interrupt,
but you asked me
to track opposition to the ERA.
Oh, I
Who the hell
is Phyllis "Schafly"?
-It's Schlafly.
-Oh, she's a right-wing nut
from Illinois.
Oh, we don't need to worry
about stuff like this
-on the fringe.
-BETTY: I've never even
heard of
The Phyllis "Schafly" Report.
-It's Schlafly.
-What?
-There are two Ls.
-Two Ls.
-BETTY: Oh. Well,
what do I care if
it's "Schafly" or Schlafly?
It's not like I'm ever gonna say
that fucking woman's name again.
(laughing)
-To the ERA.
-Yes.
-(whoops)
-All right.
-(indistinct chatter)
Nobody can tell you
There's only one song
Worth singing
They may try and tell you
'Cause it hangs them up
To see someone
Like you
But you gotta
Make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else
Sings along
You're gonna be nowhere
The loneliest kind of lonely
It may be rough going
Just to do your thing
Is the hardest thing
To do
But you gotta
Make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music.
Captioned by
The ERA is not about,
uh, equality.
It's about power.
There are more of us
than there are of you.
I wouldn't be so sure.
MAN: I had no idea
what I would find
when I went searching
for my father.
They flashed the Zodiac Killer,
and my heart stopped.
WOMAN: He believes
he is the son of the Zodiac.
Pulling hair is wrong, mate.
I mean, all violence is wrong,
but at least punching's a sport.
-Is it?
-Yes, boxing.
Boxing's in the Olympics.
Hair pulling isn't.
-It would be funny if it was.
-It really would be.
We are Nadja and Laszlo,
the human music group.
She's a superb lyricist.
We're feeling horny
For love
We're feeling horny
For love
(up-tempo music plays)
VOCALISTS: Hey!
Aren't you Lil Dicky?
Yes, I know
That I'm a rapper
- At the end of the day
-(gasping)
But I think
It's time you knew me
By my government name
- Hi, I'm Dave
-ANNOUNCER: Dave.
All-new Wednesday at 10:00
on FXX.
And next day, FX on Hulu.
Oh, damn!
(classical music playing)
What is Devs?
What is Devs?
What is Devs?
(screams)
(dishes clattering in distance)
(match strikes, sizzling)
(applause, whistling
in distance)
(indistinct announcement
over speakers)
(indistinct conversations)
Do these look real?
-No.
-No.
-No.
Where's Phyllis?
She's up next.
Oh. Um, she's already there,
waiting.
EMCEE:
Next, we have the wife
of one of our biggest donors,
Mrs. J. Fred Schlafly.
(applause, whistling)
Ready for summer
in this patriotic swimsuit
courtesy of Marshall Field.
Fred is an attorney
in Alton, Illinois.
He and his wife have been active
-in the Republican Party
for many years,
-Whoa!
and we thank them
for coming out to support
Congressman Phil Crane's
reelection campaign.
And next up is
Mrs. Philip Crane,
the wife of the man of the hour.
Look smart
in this evening dress
from Neiman Marcus.
-Are you gonna buy the mink?
-I prefer sable.
Thank God they asked you
to model this time.
You know,
when you were campaigning,
I got stuck with the bikini,
and I'd just given birth to
Sarah about ten minutes earlier.
You ran an incredible campaign
that year.
Oh, thank you.
If only you didn't have
to be a man to win downstate.
Oh, that wasn't the issue.
It was a terrible year for us.
You'd have to go back
to, uh, 1934
to find such a bad year
for Republicans.
My husband won.
Well, Fred said
I would have won
if the Democrats hadn't
rigged the congressional map
in their favor.
DOROTHY:
How are your kids
adjusting to D.C. life?
-You bought a house
in Alexandria.
-ARLENE: McLean.
DOROTHY:
Oh, I hear that's
a lovely neighborhood.
-Are you ladies decent?
-Hi!
-Oh.
-Hi.
Did you have a good time
out there?
-Yes.
-Yes.
-Okay. (chuckles)
Now, shoo,
so we can get changed.
Okay, well,
thank you all again.
This event wouldn't be a success
without you,
and I look forward to having you
on my show next week.
-Mm-hmm.
-Uh, please wear that.
(laughs)
("A Fifth of Beethoven"
by Walter Murphy playing)
(indistinct chatter)
DIRECTOR:
Looks good.
We need to white balance.
-DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY:
What about off her face?
-(Director chuckles)
-PHIL:
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
-Good afternoon, Mr. Crane.
PHIL:
How are you?
I'm so sorry
to keep you waiting.
-PHYLLIS: No.
-PHIL: Sorry.
Okay.
I had to release a statement
on the Consumer Product
Safety Act.
Oh.
How will you vote?
You'll have to ask my
chief of staff. (short chuckle)
DIRECTOR:
Mr. Crane, we'll be starting
in about a minute.
All right.
Okay, so I will begin
by introducing the topic.
-Mm-hmm.
-And then I'm gonna
ask you to weigh in.
It's debate style. But I'm gonna
throw you some easy questions
so you don't seem
in over your head, okay?
-Thank you, doll.
-Okay.
-Thank you, sir.
And I might disagree with you
just to
make it more fun
for the viewers, so
-Mm-hmm.
-Relax.
Look like you're having fun,
even if you're not.
And, uh
don't forget to smile.
What?
Smile, with teeth.
-DIRECTOR: Rolling.
-You want to practice?
-(music playing)
-I think I've got it.
-PHIL: Okay.
(chuckles)
We're up.
-DIRECTOR: Action.
-(clears throat)
Good evening,
and welcome to
Conservative Viewpoint.
I'm your host, Philip Crane.
My guest tonight hails
from our home state of Illinois.
She burst onto
the national scene in 1964,
when she wrote
A Choice Not an Echo,
which sold three million copies
and was widely credited
with helping Barry Goldwater
secure the Republican
presidential nomination.
She has since authored
four books on nuclear strategy
and served
in national party offices.
Please welcome Phyllis Schlafly.
-Well, thank you for having me.
-Absolutely.
You know, I got to know
how does a housewife
with six children,
from Alton, Illinois,
become so interested
in national defense
and nuclear warfare?
Well, uh, I was
at Washington University
studying political science
when World War II broke out,
and I worked nights as a gunner
and a ballistics technician.
-A regular Rosie the Riveter.
-Yes, that's right.
Uh, tonight's topic
is the crisis
in America's defense posture,
specifically the Strategic Arms
Limitation Talks,
or SALT.
Now, should we accept a deal
with a regime as reprehensible
as Brezhnev's Soviet Union?
From a defense standpoint,
this pact serves
certain common interests
namely, the avoidance
of nuclear war.
You would agree
with that assessment, Phyllis?
Well, not entirely, no.
Not entirely?
Which part don't you agree with?
Well, I'm afraid
all of it, Phil.
Y-You see,
the-the U.S. delegation
has naively been telling
the Russians, you know,
"Peace is wonderful.
Try it, you'll like it.
It's like Life cereal."
But I think they're gonna get
the last laugh,
because the only country
that's gonna comply with
the pact is the United States.
They don't comply,
we'll know, won't we?
The experts maintain we have
the most advanced satellite
-technology systems
in the world.
-Yes, but these are the same
experts that
didn't find the missiles
that went into Cuba in 1962.
I mean, they didn't even detect
the Soviet-built MiG-17
flying from Cuba
to Homestead Air Force Base
in Florida two years ago.
Uh, so you think
we're proceeding down the wrong
path with the SALT talks.
Yeah, well, not only are we
proceeding down the wrong path,
Phil, but Nixon's
leading the parade.
(coughs)
All right.
Well, we will be, uh,
right back after this commercial
on more
Strategic Arms Limitation Talks.
-Cut.
-(bell rings)
-PHYLLIS: I'm
I am having so much fun.
(laughs)
Well, that was electrifying.
(chuckles)
You are Wow.
You are a star.
These sound guys you know,
they listen to everything.
-(chuckles): Oh.
-Am I gonna see you
on the campaign trail?
I don't know.
Have to see what
the county chairman decides.
I've already lost twice.
Well, the third time's
a charm.
You know, you
there's things you can do
to get these county chairmen
to come knock on your door.
-Hmm?
-I can introduce you
to some money guys.
When are you next in D.C.?
-I'm not sure.
-Well, Ashbrook and I
are setting up a meeting
with Goldwater.
He's our best hope at convincing
Nixon not to sign this treaty.
And I think
you should come for that.
Really?
You know more than any of us
about SALT.
Well, that would be wonderful.
Thank you.
(classical music playing
on stereo)
-ELEANOR:
You tried Marshall Field's?
-PHYLLIS: Mm-hmm, yes.
-ELEANOR: How about Scruggs?
-PHYLLIS: Yes.
Oh, nothing at Scruggs?
Well, yes,
but she says nothing fits.
Well, have to go back
in the city and look some more.
Your sister can't do it?
She lives right there.
No.
She works.
I work.
-You're a good daughter.
-You're coming, right?
I don't think so.
Well, the girls will want
their Aunt Eleanor there.
We only call it
a mother-daughter luncheon
because we're trying to attract
a younger generation.
It's not literal.
It's open to any member
of the DAR.
Willie just pulled these
out of the oven.
-I snuck you a couple.
-Thank you, Leonia.
(gasps) Andy was looking
for his Little League uniform.
Oh, it's still in the dryer,
Miss Schlafly.
-Thank you.
-PHYLLIS: Thank you.
Do you remember Raymond Bacha?
Yeah, I saw him
at Phil Crane's fundraiser.
He's divorced now.
Oh, that's too bad.
-Oh, no. No. No.
-He's nice-looking,
and his children
are mostly grown.
Do you want me to talk to Fred?
I think he represented him once.
I don't think so.
He's Catholic.
He is nice-looking.
What are you smiling about?
The judges approved
the redistricting plan.
Mm-hmm.
(gasps)
"The new map
could mean the defeat
"of downstate Democrat
Representative George E. Shipley
of the 23rd district."
I need to talk to Fred.
W-Would you
-Drop Andy off at practice.
-Thank you!
-Well, what do you think of him?
-Well, I don't.
Mm, but you're friendly
enough to call him.
Well, I guess so,
but why am I calling him?
-(sighs)
To introduce him to your sister.
-But why?
Because he's divorced.
Eleanor's too old for him.
No.
He's older than she is.
Raymond is
a very successful man.
If he remarries, it'll be
to someone much younger.
Don't give me that look.
It's biology.
That is not biology.
I married someone
much younger.
And here I thought
you married me for my mind.
Not only did I marry you
for your mind,
it's the reason I fall more
in love with you every day.
I just love to watch
the way your mind works.
Well, can you see the way
it's working right now?
Let's see.
This morning,
I noticed that article
in the paper
about the remapping
of congressional districts.
Next thing you know,
my wife shows up at the office
under the pretext of buying
my mother-in-law a dress.
Oh, I do need to buy Mother
a dress.
The muffins are the pretext.
Don't forget to sign
the charge card application.
I know you don't want
to hear this,
but, uh, our district
has only changed from
slightly Democratic
to slightly Republican.
Well, I was only
slightly defeated.
You have a nice home here.
You can do whatever you like.
Write books, your newsletter.
Give lectures.
In Congress
I would have influence.
I could get on
the Armed Services Committee.
They'd put you on
Natural Resources or Judiciary
and expect you
to toe the party line.
Isn't this why we got involved
in politics
to do our duty?
To guarantee that
our children grow up
in a free and independent
country?
That's a nice trick,
repeating me back to me.
Still, I haven't recovered
from all the money
I sunk into your last bid.
What about Clem?
I don't know, maybe you could
run into him at the club.
-(knocking)
-MAN: I heard
there were muffins.
-May I?
-I brought them for the office.
Ooh. Nancy won't keep any
sweets around the house.
She wants to try to lose
the baby weight.
-How is the baby?
-Oh, he mostly just sits there.
Nancy keeps telling me to talk
to him, but what am I supposed
to talk to him about, Vietnam?
-(laughs)
-These are delicious.
-Mm.
-Have you ever thought about
starting a baking business?
No.
I've never thought about that.
I, uh
I'll talk to Clem.
Will you invite him and Jessie
for dinner?
Mm-hmm.
-So I can be there.
-Mm-hmm.
Uh!
Oh.
Raindrops keep fallin'
on my head
And just like the guy
whose feet
- Are too big for his bed
-(indistinct chatter)
Nothing seems to fit those
But everyone keeps telling me
it's more convenient.
Formula just doesn't
have all the vitamins
your baby needs
for his immune system.
And it doesn't help you
lose the baby weight.
-Oh, I thought that was a myth.
-No, let me tell you something.
I was 40 by the time
I nursed Anne,
and after six months,
I weighed the same I did
on the day I was married.
Still do. You looked
teeny, tiny like Cheryl Tiegs
on Phil Crane's show,
and supposedly
those television cameras
add ten pounds.
You watched it.
Course I did.
I'm your biggest booster.
Although, I have to be honest.
I was surprised
that you didn't
come out strongly
against the
Equal Rights Amendment.
Oh, I don't know
what all the fuss is about.
I mean, there are
so many more pressing issues,
like national security.
Well, this is a matter
of national security.
They're going to ship
our daughters off to Vietnam.
Women could be subject
to the draft?
And I heard it would get rid
of alimony.
-Oh, I heard that, too.
-Buck could walk out on me
after 25 years
without paying a dime.
I'd be left with nothing.
You know,
this would be a good topic
for the luncheon.
I'm not the only one concerned.
Buck's never gonna leave you.
Only because I'd kill him
if he did.
You have nothing to worry about.
You have skills and been
politicking for years.
Well, yes, but I-I barely
receive an income for it.
I mean, I couldn't do what I do
without Fred's support.
Still, you're not
just a housewife.
You're never just a housewife.
There's no more important job
for a woman.
Well, tell that to the host
of the dinner party
we were invited to last week.
He was introducing
everyone at the table.
-Mm-hmm.
-Two of the wives work.
One's a lawyer.
One's in business.
And after he introduced Buck,
he skips over me completely,
doesn't even say my name.
Hmm.
Thank you, Gloria Steinem.
(scoffs)
The rest of them I understand,
but Gloria Steinem
she's so pretty. How could she
not find a husband?
She doesn't want one.
That's the whole point of the
women's liberation movement
to be liberated from men.
I thought the point was to be
liberated from housework.
-(laughing)
-HAIRDRESSER:
Your mother's all done.
Didn't she do a wonderful job?
Thank you so much.
It's beautiful.
You hate it.
I hate it.
Me.
Do you need any help?
Mother?
I think that's the one.
You don't think
it's big in the shoulders?
We could take it
to my seamstress.
Let me take another look.
PHYLLIS:
You have to wind the clock
every seven days
or it stops working.
DADIE:
Well, I can't find the crank.
I should just get rid of it.
You can't get rid
of Daddy's clock.
I'll take it.
It is smart.
It's very smart.
Did you
forget to pay some bills?
Why are you going
through my things?
I wasn't going
through your things, Mother.
They just jumped out. Do you
need me to help you manage them?
Have you run through
your savings?
I can't live
on my Social Security check.
-Mm-hmm.
-Your father didn't work
-long enough to be eligible
-I know.
-for a pension.
-Mm-hmm.
He was many wonderful things.
Mother, please don't start.
But a good provider
was not one of them.
You're very lucky you have Fred.
Remember to thank him for me.
-Oh, yeah.
-For the dress.
It's, uh
I love it.
-ANDY: Can I have one?
-(door opens)
-You'll ruin your appetite.
-Hi, Mommy.
-Hello.
-(whooshing)
-The spinach soufflé
will be ready in ten minutes.
-Aw.
Everything else
is on top of the stove.
Thank you, Willie.
Mr. Schlafly home?
Not yet.
Alice came by
and dropped this off for you.
(door opens, closes)
Uh, Andy.
Make yourself useful.
-(door closes)
-Ring for dinner.
Phyl, would you?
Anne, help your sister.
-How'd it go?
-Can I take my coat off,
-at least, and settle in?
-Here. Let me get that for you.
Who was there?
The usual crowd.
Foster, Jerry.
So?
What did Clem say?
Can we talk about this
after dinner?
Oh, of course.
Can you just tell me
what he said?
I invited him to dinner,
like we discussed.
-No running, please.
-Sorry, Mom.
PHYLLIS:
Uh, when?
Linda's handling it.
But he thinks
it's a good idea.
-(sighs)
-I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
It's just very exciting.
Now, it would be terrific
if the dinner could happen
before my trip to D.C.
What trip to D.C.?
The Goldwater meeting.
About SALT.
-How long will you be gone?
-I-It's ju
it's just for the day.
Eleanor will be here.
I don't know how you can
stand that place.
Well, I don't
love Washington either.
-But, Fred, if I win
-I-I am not moving our family
to that lefty,
godless swampland.
Well, the National Air
and Space Museum's nice.
I'm not, uh, telling you
not to run.
I'm just telling you,
I am staying here in Alton.
I'll commute back and forth.
Oh, and how would that work
with the children
-and, uh, your mother?
-I'll figure it out.
You know,
it's what congressmen do.
-(scoffs)
-They stay in their district.
Well, it's different for a man
to leave his wife home
and go to Washington
than it is for a woman
to leave her whole family.
I mean, it's just
plain different.
Do you want me not to run?
(sighs)
That's your decision.
-Is it?
-I'm not going to apologize
-for asking my wife
not to split up the family.
-(scoffs)
Now you're just
being ridiculous.
I will make it work, Fred.
You won't have to do a thing.
'Cause I don't understand
what's changed.
You supported my run
two years ago.
You didn't think I would win.
ALL:
Bless us, O Lord,
and these, Thy gifts
which we are about to receive
from Thy bounty,
through Christ, our Lord.
Amen.
I like to dream
Yes, yes, right between
the sound machine
On a cloud of sound
I drift in the night
Any place it goes is right
Goes far, flies near
- To the stars away from here
-(crowd chanting, chattering)
Well, you don't know what
We can find
Why don't you come with me,
little girl
On a magic carpet ride
You don't know what
We can see
Why don't you tell
your dreams to me
Fantasy will
set your dreams free
WOMAN (on megaphone):
We're just waiting
on a few more buses,
and then we'll all
head to the Capitol Building.
Let the sound
take you away
(indistinct chatter continuing)
REPORTER:
Congresswoman Chisholm,
do you foresee
any opposition against
the Equal Rights Amendment
in today's debate in the House?
There will be a handful
of congressmen
who will oppose the ERA
based on the belief that women
have their place and must be
kept in it for their own good,
but that belief is dying.
Now, the truth is,
women have been protected
from working
as waitresses at night
when the tips are large,
but they have
never been protected
when working as charwomen,
scrubbing floors all night.
We don't need anybody
to protect us.
Why don't you
tell your dreams to me
Fantasy will set you free
You don't know what
Well, it's not that I don't
want to help you
get the raccoon
out of your garage,
it's just that Woodside is
(chuckles)
not in my district.
I tell you what
I'm gonna have my office
transfer you to your actual
member of Congress.
I don't know if he answers
his own phone. Let's find out.
Sharon, line one
is for Pucinski's office.
-You answer your own phone.
-A few times a week, yes.
Otherwise, I I lose sight
of the real issues
that affect my constituents,
like a backed-up sewer,
a missing TV Guide
or a raccoon
that has wandered
into some guy's garage.
-(laughs)
-You're early.
Were you hoping to catch
some of the ERA debate?
-Oh, no.
-I didn't think so.
And why not?
Well, you are wearing a dress.
Oh, libbers don't wear dresses?
-Not pink ones.
-Well, actually,
it's dusty rose.
Actually, it is distracting.
(laughs)
Now, I was hoping to have
that talk about,
uh, the, uh, campaign financing
before the meeting
with Goldwater.
Right, well,
certainly his endorsement
would mean
a great deal to donors.
Oh, well, as would yours.
My, uh, schedule's
a little tight today,
but why don't we
have drinks afterwards?
Oh, well, I'm not
much of a drinker, so
Oh, well, so don't drink.
Watch me drink.
Or better yet, let's have
dinner. You ever been to Duke's?
Right. Well, I am scheduled
to fly out before dinnertime,
but you, uh, mentioned
you could introduce me
to the right people.
Perhaps, uh, Bob Dole?
We would probably
run into him at Duke's.
Come on, you'll love it. A lot
of lobbyists hang out there.
A lot of PAC money to be had.
Can you fly out
in the morning?
Well, I guess so.
Uh
(indistinct conversations)
RECEPTIONIST:
Hello, Secretary
Goldwater's office.
-(door opens)
-JILL: Well, if you're not gonna
vote for the ERA because
you think it will boost
your maverick image,
let me tell you, Senator,
it won't.
It will boost your image
as a chauvinist pig.
I don't care.
I answer to a higher authority.
Your constituents
will hold you accountable
in the next election.
I meant God, but what would
you know about that?
Or Arizona. It's all Republican
all the time.
-That's the beauty of the place.
-Don't look at me
like that, Bella.
I'm voting for it.
Well, you, I like.
PHIL:
Hi, Barry. You know Phyllis.
Phyllis, nice to see you.
Oh, the pleasure's
all mine, Senator.
What do you make
of all this ERA business?
It's not her area
of expertise.
-She's a woman.
-Yes, I think I can speak
from my own experience.
I've-I've never been
discriminated against
and I think some women
like to blame sexism
for their failures
instead of admitting
they didn't try hard enough,
so good for you for opposing it.
Well, not so good.
I'm the only one.
We know you're short on time,
Barry, so,
uh, I'll cut to the chase.
We need your help.
You have Nixon's ear.
He must be convinced
not to sign any arms control
treaty with Moscow.
Oh, if, uh, if you don't mind,
we'd rather this meeting
stay off the record.
Margaret?
This is Neville Chamberlain
all over again.
Well, look, I know you're not
going to want to hear this,
but he's determined
to sign a treaty.
Well, I think
we should focus specifically
on our biggest concerns
in the treaty,
which are the ABM limitations.
Now, our superiority in MIRVs
does not compensate
for the Russian superiority
in ICBMs, SS-9s
Hey, listen, could-could you
take notes for us?
You know, so that we have
an unofficial record?
Well, you probably have the best
penmanship of anyone here.
(chuckles):
Oh, yes, of course.
Margaret can grab you a pad.
Okay.
I'll be right back.
ASHBROOK:
It's a one-sided pact that
doesn't do anything to stop
Hello there.
You must be Margaret.
Could I have a a notepad?
MARGARET:
Of course.
(indistinct conversation)
MARGARET:
Here you go, Ms. Schlafly.
It's Mrs. Schlafly.
I'm married.
I'm so sorry, Mrs. Schlafly.
(muffled, indistinct
conversation continuing)
PHIL:
to their advantage
in building up their weapons
while we've been
in a weapons freeze?
Well, soon we'll have girls
in the foxholes,
and then we'll really
be at a disadvantage.
Well, I'm sorry.
I held my tongue earlier
when you asked me
about this ERA,
but I have to say,
if you're in favor
of this fraudulent amendment,
I don't think
you have any business
calling yourself a Republican.
(Ashbrook scoffs quietly)
It's an innocuous
piece of business.
H-Have you read it?
Oh, yes, I have read it,
Congressman.
Have you read it?
-What do you mean,
have I read it?
-Have you?
-Yes.
-What does section two say?
-I don't believe
there is a section two.
-No, no, no. Section two
states that "Congress
shall have the power
"to enforce,
by appropriate legislation,
the provisions of this article."
Now if the ERA passes, it will
give the federal government
a massive amount of power.
I mean, are we no longer
-the party of limited government
and states' rights?
-ASHBROOK: You have no idea
-the pressure that we're under.
-PHIL: We have to give
the women's movement something.
Oh, I think
you've given them plenty.
You've given them
the Pay Equity Act
and Title VII
of the Civil Rights Act,
both of which I supported,
not to mention
women are already protected
from discrimination
in the Constitution
by the Equal Protection Clause
under the 14th Amendment.
Now, I know of only one law
that is discriminatory
toward women,
and that is a North Dakota law
stipulating that a wife
must have her husband's
permission to make wine.
So if a woman in North Dakota
really wants to make wine
and her husband forbids it,
she can sue
for that right
under the 14th Amendment.
PHIL:
Okay. Maybe an amendment
is unnecessary.
And, yes, maybe we need
to do something about that
second clause, but sometimes
we have to vote for laws
that are symbolic
so we can the Dems to join us
in passing more substantive
items on our agenda,
-like tax reform.
-Well, I hope
your tax reform bill
is worth writing off
the 40 million homemakers for
whom the ERA is not symbolic.
The women I know are terrified.
They don't want to be drafted
into combat duty.
And you'll have to answer
to them come November.
I'm sorry, if saying all this
costs me your endorsement,
well, so be it.
(Goldwater chuckles)
I thought this wasn't
your area of expertise.
Well, I've been reading up.
Well, there's your stump speech.
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm not interested
in running on women's issues.
Still, it's, um, a good spin.
Of course, if it were possible
to get 40 million housewives
to stop clucking
and get out the vote,
I would have won
the presidency in '64,
and Reagan would be
in the White House now.
That's our problem.
I think you'll do
very well here.
And what exactly does "doing
very well here" mean, Phil
sitting around all day
horse trading about bills
-you don't even bother reading?
-What, is something wrong?
Oh, no, I'm just gonna try
and catch the next flight out.
I thought we were
gonna have dinner.
Oh, no, I've got to get home.
PHYLLIS:
Oh, thank you again
for putting the children to bed.
Uh, do you want to take some,
uh, food home for the weekend?
Um, I broiled a chicken
last night.
-I'll make a salad.
-Mm-hmm.
Uh, did Fred ever get a chance
to talk to Raymond Bacha?
Uh I don't think so.
Fred didn't think
it was a good idea.
No, I-I figured,
when you didn't
mention it again
So I just-I just
thought I'd check.
Oh, Eleanor.
Oh
Your life is so full.
Oh, you have your family
and and-and your friends.
-You've got millions of friends.
-Oh, well, yes.
You should see the way
they steer their daughters
away from me when I'm nearby.
-It's like they're
going to catch it.
-And your work.
You're doing such important
work at the foundation.
Do you know why I threw myself
into the foundation?
You all were busy
having babies.
I I don't know why.
How come no one
wanted to marry me?
You just had bad luck.
You know, the war and
I'm so sorry.
You must think I'm pathetic.
Now, stop it.
You are going through
a hard time, that's all.
-Now, it'll-it'll pass.
-Yeah.
Now, I want to say this.
You have been
more of a mother to my children
than most mothers.
-(sighs)
-They adore you.
Now, did I tell you
that both Phyl and Anne
asked if you're coming
to the mother-daughter luncheon?
-They want you there.
-Oh.
So you're gonna come,
and you're gonna be celebrated,
and that's that.
(chuckles, sniffles)
I should be going.
You must be really exhausted.
Mm.
Oh.
Oh, Anne took forever
to go to sleep.
Well, I'm happy you're home.
No, you are right
about Washington.
It is godless.
I can change that.
No, but I need you, Fred.
-I'm right here.
-(sighs)
(chuckles)
No, I've-I've had
-a really long day.
-Oh, wait, wait,
-where-where you going?
-Just to take out my contacts.
-They're killing me. Come
-Oh, come on, come on. Don't.
No, I smell.
I've been in this dress all day.
Well, then let's-let's
get you out of it.
FRED:
If visiting Moscow
and Beijing isn't enough
to pull your support
of Nixon's reelection,
I don't know what is.
-Who wants tea?
-Sure.
-Clem?
-I'll stick with this.
-Jessie?
-Thank you.
I'm not ideological like you.
It's like Mark Hanna said,
there are things
that are important in politics.
The first is money,
and I can't remember
-what the second one is.
-(chuckles)
Détente with China
is good for trade,
which is good for business.
Still, everyone has
their line in the sand.
What if Nixon
endorses the ERA?
Well, that affects my business.
Clem is apoplectic about it.
A billion here,
a billion there.
It starts to run
into real money.
But if it makes it through the
Senate the insurance industry
will be the least
of the casualties.
The left will demand
taxpayer-funded abortions,
state-run day care centers,
-women in foxholes.
-Sounds a lot like
the Kremlin's agenda.
Problem is, everyone
from Kennedy to Wallace
seems to be for it, and there's
no organized opposition.
CLEM:
Well, nobody wants to vote
against an amendment
that has the words
"equal rights" in the title.
Which is exactly why
they put it in the title.
Which is exactly why
we keep losing to them.
Eh, eh
-I can't sleep.
-Oh
Try counting sheep.
Do you want to come
sit with the grownups
till you get sleepy?
Here, let me help
with the tea.
Mm. She wrote most
of her books
with this one sitting
on her lap while she typed.
I think she can handle tea.
CLEM:
When you get elected, Phyllis,
you'd better be ready
to deal with the libbers.
They're all over D.C.
I appreciate your support,
but, uh,
I've decided
not to run this year.
Washington's broken.
I think it's a waste of time
to try and fix it.
I think I can shake things up,
uh, more effectively
through my
grassroots organizing,
right here at home.
Well
well, I always say that
real change
comes from the bottom up.
Besides, my mother
will be moving in with us soon.
She's getting older,
so it's just
not a good time.
WILLIE:
Mm
Oh, it's all in the wrists.
-BRUCE: Oh, okay. (laughs)
-(Willie laughs)
Ah eh
-Roger.
-Roger, go make yourself useful.
Those are ready to go out now.
(indistinct conversations)
-PHYLLIS:
Now I have, uh, no doubt
-Shh, shh, shh, shh.
that in the, uh, car ride,
uh, over today
that you warned your daughters
that I am chairman
of national defense
for the Daughters
of the American Revolution,
and as such, to, uh,
prepare themselves
for a lecture on the, uh,
need for an anti-missile
defense system
or the end of U.S.
nuclear superiority.
-(laughing)
-So it may
come as a surprise, uh, to you
that, uh, today I am not
going to talk about
the Soviet military threat,
but rather another threat.
A threat to
the traditional American family,
a threat that is
just as dangerous
and even more insidious
the threat of
the women's liberation movement.
-(murmuring)
-Let me be clear. I am not
against, uh, women succeeding.
I am not against women
working outside the home.
That's their choice.
But what I am against
is a small, elitist group
of Northeastern
establishment liberals
putting down the homemakers.
-Mm.
-Now, the libbers
love to say that
they're dedicated to choice,
but if you dare to choose
the path of full-time mother,
well, there must be
something wrong with you.
I mean, if you don't
feel enslaved,
well, you're just
dumb and unenlightened.
In fact,
you're not even a person.
'Cause, you see,
the women's liberation movement
is basically a very
negative attitude
toward life.
It-it tells women,
"Sister, the cards
are stacked against you.
"When you wake up
in the morning,
"you won't get a job.
And if you do,
"it won't be a good one,
"and if you get a good one,
you won't get promoted,
"and if you get married,
"your husband
will treat you like a servant,
"and marriage is just
a lot of dirty diapers
and dirty dishes."
-(chuckling)
-But don't take my word for it.
Read their own literature.
Betty Friedan,
mother of the movement,
wrote in The Feminine Mystique
that marriage is and I quote
"a comfortable
-concentration camp."
-(mouthing)
-(gasping, murmuring)
-But it is not enough that
they're demeaning us
in the press.
Oh, no.
Now they want to use
our miraculous Constitution
to create a sex-neutral society
through this so-called
Equal Rights Amendment,
which will mean that
that baby girl
-will be drafted.
-(women gasping)
And the men will be at home,
nursing the babies.
(laughing)
I mean, can you imagine if Buck
was left in charge
of your children?
Oh, God, help us.
(laughs)
Yes. That's right.
It-It's ridiculous,
and it's downright un-American,
because women
are the primary caregivers
in the home
because we bear the children.
And if the liberationists have a
problem with that, they're gonna
have to take it up with God.
Because what
is going to happen if you
push women out
into the workforce
is that women
are gonna find themselves
with two full-time jobs.
And they're going to be
exhausted and unhappy
and feel like
they're not doing either well,
until, eventually,
they decide
not to have children at all.
Maybe that's
the liberationists' goal.
I mean, after all,
their hero is Gloria Steinem
a single,
-childless woman nearing 40.
-(laughing)
But she is the sort of, uh,
miserable, uh, pathetic woman
they aspire to be.
She wants some kind
of Constitutional cure
for her personal problems.
And perhaps that is why
the liberationists are trying
to sow these seeds of discontent
among we happily married women.
They want us to join them
in some new sisterhood
of frustrated togetherness
because none of them can find
a man who wants to marry them.
-(laughing)
-(applause)
ANCHOR:
ABC's Bill Zimmerman
covered the story
in Brooklyn, New York.
ZIMMERMAN:
Mrs. Chisholm,
how are you feeling today?
Oh. I feel wonderful.
It's one of the most
marvelous things
to happen in our country
at this moment.
Uh, for the first time
in the history of our nation,
a person of color
a woman, at that
is running for
the highest office in the land,
and it's a wonderful thing
to know that,
in spite of the many
obstacles on my path,
a large, large cross-section
of America is behind me saying,
why not?
Why not dare to dream
like so many others
have dreamt before me?
So I'm very excited,
and I feel fine.
ZIMMERMAN:
And do you really expect
-to go all the way,
Mrs. Chisholm?
-Yes,
I expect to go all the way.
Ow
A new hat
or rather a bonnet
was tossed into the Democratic
presidential race today,
that of Mrs. Shirley Chisholm,
the first black woman
to serve in Congress.
Mrs. Shirley Chisholm
today announced
that she's going to run for
President of the United States.
Would you vote for a woman
for president?
-Yes, I would.
-Why?
Well, I think it's about time
we had a woman for president.
I don't think they're as
level-headed yet as the men are.
-I think it'd be a good idea
to have a woman president.
-Why?
Because it's good
to have a change.
I think president
is a man's job.
Yeah, I think she would make
a good president, but I doubt
if I doubt it that
she would be elected, though.
In the historic decision, the
Senate voted 84 to eight today
to approve
a Constitutional amendment
guaranteeing equal rights
to women.
The proposal goes to the states
for ratification.
Fire, oh, I'm on fire
-Did you call the speaker of
the House a four-letter word?
-No.
-Are you sure?
-Yes, I'm sure.
"Ass" is a three-letter word.
Come on, come on.
Come on!
(laughs)
I'm in heels.
Fire, fire
-(phones ringing)
-(indistinct chatter)
Fire
When I founded this national
women's political caucus
We all founded it, Betty
you, me, Gloria, Shirley.
-Yes, yes, but it was
my concept.
-(clears throat)
(sighs)
Fine.
My point is that I felt that
we needed to take our movement
from the streets to Congress,
and here we are,
just a year later,
and we are a political force
and we have our first
serious female candidate
-for president.
-(whooping, applause)
-WOMAN: Chizzy for president.
-Chizzy for prezzy!
-Chizzy for prezzy.
And yesterday
the Equal Rights Amendment
-sailed through the Senate.
-(cheering, applause)
That's right.
Hawaii ratified
less than 30 minutes
after the Senate vote.
Delaware and New Hampshire will
have it ratified by tomorrow.
We have seven years,
but we'll get it done in one.
No, and even Nixon is on
our side. And thank you
-for that
last-minute endorsement.
-See? He's not all bad.
-He's mostly bad.
-JILL: If we would like our
women's caucus to be bipartisan,
perhaps the Democrats
in this room could refrain
from trashing the president
at every meeting?
-I thought trashing Nixon
was bipartisan.
-(laughing)
No, but, you know,
Jill is right.
Our movement is about fighting
oppression of all women.
You know, there are
too few of us,
and we're not
each other's enemies.
What are you talking about?
There are plenty of us.
Does this mean that you're now
for lesbian rights?
I never said
I was against lesbian rights.
I said that I didn't want to
declare at the press conference
that we're all lesbians,
'cause we're not all lesbians.
-Whoa!
-INTERN: I'm sorry to interrupt,
but you asked me
to track opposition to the ERA.
Oh, I
Who the hell
is Phyllis "Schafly"?
-It's Schlafly.
-Oh, she's a right-wing nut
from Illinois.
Oh, we don't need to worry
about stuff like this
-on the fringe.
-BETTY: I've never even
heard of
The Phyllis "Schafly" Report.
-It's Schlafly.
-What?
-There are two Ls.
-Two Ls.
-BETTY: Oh. Well,
what do I care if
it's "Schafly" or Schlafly?
It's not like I'm ever gonna say
that fucking woman's name again.
(laughing)
-To the ERA.
-Yes.
-(whoops)
-All right.
-(indistinct chatter)
Nobody can tell you
There's only one song
Worth singing
They may try and tell you
'Cause it hangs them up
To see someone
Like you
But you gotta
Make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else
Sings along
You're gonna be nowhere
The loneliest kind of lonely
It may be rough going
Just to do your thing
Is the hardest thing
To do
But you gotta
Make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music.
Captioned by
The ERA is not about,
uh, equality.
It's about power.
There are more of us
than there are of you.
I wouldn't be so sure.
MAN: I had no idea
what I would find
when I went searching
for my father.
They flashed the Zodiac Killer,
and my heart stopped.
WOMAN: He believes
he is the son of the Zodiac.
Pulling hair is wrong, mate.
I mean, all violence is wrong,
but at least punching's a sport.
-Is it?
-Yes, boxing.
Boxing's in the Olympics.
Hair pulling isn't.
-It would be funny if it was.
-It really would be.
We are Nadja and Laszlo,
the human music group.
She's a superb lyricist.
We're feeling horny
For love
We're feeling horny
For love
(up-tempo music plays)
VOCALISTS: Hey!
Aren't you Lil Dicky?
Yes, I know
That I'm a rapper
- At the end of the day
-(gasping)
But I think
It's time you knew me
By my government name
- Hi, I'm Dave
-ANNOUNCER: Dave.
All-new Wednesday at 10:00
on FXX.
And next day, FX on Hulu.
Oh, damn!
(classical music playing)