Murphy Brown s01e19 Episode Script

The Unshrinkable Murphy Brown

You're saying, Judge Ferris, that you expect the American public to believe that your court has performed fairly and impartially on every case? Miss Brown, in my 20 years on the bench I have received nothing but the highest ratings from the judicial review board.
Perhaps if you were more familiar with my record September, 1988.
The Kaminski case.
One of your city's most powerful contractors is charged with five building code violations, half a dozen complaints and you gave him a slap on the wrist.
That was an objective ruling, based on the legal intricacies of the case.
Not at all influenced by any personal association you had with Mr.
Kaminski.
Absolutely not.
Mr.
Kaminski and I have no personal relationship whatsoever.
Judge Ferris, you were at a private party on Mr.
Kaminski's yacht one week before your decision.
You were at his side most of the evening.
You spoke personally in his compartment for over an hour.
Now you're treading on dangerous ground, Miss Brown.
If you have any evidence of this, you'd better produce it.
Will these do, Judge Ferris? These are pictures of you on that yacht.
There you are with Mr.
Kaminski, chatting on the bridge.
You and Mrs.
Kaminski dancing.
And isn't that you at the buffet table? Yes, judge.
What we're looking at is a bench that has been influenced by power blinded by special interest and corrupted by greed.
What's your explanation to the people you're supposed to serve? I understand your reluctance to speak, judge, but these are serious charges.
You can't stay silent forever.
We're waiting, Judge Ferris.
That's right, judge.
You just take your time and think about that.
After all, we must address those who say the judicial system in this country is dead.
What's going on? Correct me if I'm wrong, Judge Ferris but wasn't the judicial process originally developed in Babylonia? And wasn't it Hammurabi who said: "Everyone should have a fair trial"? And where would we be today without a judicial system to organize systematically the judicial needs of that very system? "Dead.
" He's dead.
Oh, God! He's dead! Go to Jim! Go to Jim! Well, Judge Ferris, it looks like your time is up.
Thanks for being with us.
And thanks for being such a good sport.
Back to you, Jim.
Thank you, Murphy, for that lively interview.
When we return Frank Fontana takes a look at improvements in automobile safety.
Are our highways safer in '89? Has anybody seen Murphy? She said she'd meet me this morning and help me with my piece.
It's after 11.
This is the third day in a row she's been late.
I'm worried.
She just doesn't seem like herself.
Now, come on.
Give the woman a chance.
Yes, what happened to her was devastating, but Murphy's tough.
Tough as they come.
She's weathered many a storm.
She'll weather this.
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
My floor.
Thanks.
Morning, everybody.
Morning, Corky.
I know I'm late.
I'm really sorry.
That's okay, Murphy.
Oh, my God, she apologized.
- Murph, what have you got there? - Cookies.
- Cookies? - Girl Scout cookies.
There was a kid in the lobby.
She was two cartons short of her quota.
And she looked so sad in her little hat and her green dress.
Besides, I wanted to show my appreciation to the staff.
Marv thanks for washing out those coffee mugs last night.
Fran.
You're a kind and decent person.
Have a box of Thin Mints.
Murph, are you okay? Couldn't be better.
Look at you guys.
I guess I probably don't say this enough but I've been blessed with a pretty wonderful group of friends.
I admit I went through a few rocky days, but it's behind me.
I'm over the Judge Ferris thing.
Now, stop sitting around with those long faces.
We've got a show to produce.
- Hi, I'm Murphy - Don't marry her, Brent.
It's not your baby.
Murphy.
Murphy, I want a word with you.
I spent two hours getting chewed out by Business Affairs regarding your spending.
They think, and I agree, that having a sandwich flown in from the Stage Deli because you couldn't get good corned beef in Reykjavik went way over the line.
Now, you fight me on this, Murphy.
But I'm gonna have to put a freeze on your expense account.
I don't blame you, Miles.
I guess I wasn't thinking.
If it means anything, I'm sorry and it'll never happen again.
What? Oh, okay.
I get it.
I'll go upstairs and there'll be Krazy Glue on my toilet seat.
No, Murphy.
If you're gonna do anything, do it while there are witnesses.
Miles, I'm not gonna do anything to you.
It would be childish of me to retaliate when we both know you're right about this.
Okay, so it's not Krazy Glue.
Does it involve farm animals? Oh, Miles.
Actually, I'm glad you stopped by.
I need to talk about the Brad Stockton interview.
Brad Stockton? You got Brad Stockton? No one's been able to get word one out of him since his indictment.
I envy you.
That guy's been bilking old people out of their retirement money.
You'll fry him.
That's what I wanted to talk about.
I think you should do the interview, Frank.
- Excuse me? - What? It's only fair.
Why do I get all the plum assignments around here? Take the story, Frank.
You'll do a great job with it.
By the way, Frank, how's your mother? - She's fine.
- Good.
I bought her a Hummel figure.
Here.
- Hey there, Murphy.
- Hiya, Phil.
I thought I'd deliver your lunch personally.
I wanted to see why you haven't been coming around.
It's nothing.
I've been busy.
Research, editing Murphy, it wasn't your fault that guy croaked.
I know how you feel.
Somebody once died in Phil's.
- Really? - Yeah.
I decided to try an all-you-can-eat night.
Biggest mistake of my life.
The last thing I heard the guy say was: "Oh, boy, burritos.
" Hey, will you look at what time it is? It is late, and I'm still sanding.
Talk about inconsiderate.
Boy, someone ought to tell me just to go home or something.
It's okay, Eldin.
You said the floor needed sanding.
You're just doing your job.
I may have to take apart your shower next.
- Could take days.
- Okeydokey.
"Okeydokey"? Hi, Eldin.
How is she? Not good.
She's in the kitchen making Rice Krispie balls.
I gotta tell you, I tried everything.
The woman is ill.
Yesterday, I caught her listening to a Captain and Tennille album.
When it got to "Muskrat Love" she sang along.
Hey, Frank.
What are you doing here? I was just in the neighborhood.
I thought I'd stop by.
Great.
Well, guess what.
- I got a hot lead for a new story.
- Really? I just spent three hours on the phone with Gerry Ford's publicist.
It took some convincing to bring me around but I think now is a good time to reevaluate his presidency.
You booked Gerry Ford on the show? The '70s are very hot, Frank.
Murph.
Murph, we've gotta talk.
Buddies.
Heart to heart.
I'm working.
I'm not even up to the part where Ford led the battle against swine flu.
Murph, come on.
This is not the woman who told Arafat to shut up or she'd short-sheet his head.
And maybe I shouldn't have done that, Frank.
Do you ever stop to think that maybe I go over the line sometimes? All I keep thinking about is how I wouldn't let up.
What gave me the right to be so hard on Ferris? Because I'm a journalist, does that give me license to push people past the brink? We're supposed to push for answers.
That's what we do.
Only this time, someone happened to stop living.
That doesn't mean that you're responsible.
I know that.
I just can't seem to get back on track.
Murph.
Murph, I wasn't gonna mention this, but maybe you should see someone.
You mean a shrink? No way.
I spent my 31 days at Betty Ford.
I learned everything about myself I'll ever need to know.
I mean, how many times can you relive your childhood or talk about that dream where you're tumbling down a train tunnel and you end up falling onto a bed covered with cats and Siskel and Ebert are there.
I appreciate your concern, but I can work this out myself.
You know what I was just thinking about? Your interview with Reverend Jimmy Billings.
Do you remember that? - Yeah, it was an okay interview.
- "Okay"? It was brilliant.
Come on, Murph.
A little mind picture.
You're there, Billings is across from you.
You've got on your favorite red blazer.
- The one that says, "I am the huntress.
" - Please, Frank.
Come on.
The lights are beating down on him.
You feel your pulse start to quicken, then you ask him the question.
- Remember the question, Murph? - I don't know.
Yes, you do.
Come on, Murph.
What was it? Say it.
Have you ever been to the Bahamas? That's not the way you said it that night.
Have you ever been to the Bahamas? Sounds like a real wuss question to me.
Reverend Billings did you use church funds to escort an admitted prostitute to the Bahamas for a week of sexual pleasure? - Well And does your counseling usually include Dom Perignon and Bain de Soleil? Do you consider the Paradise Regency honeymoon suite a house of worship? Okay, okay, show some mercy.
How do you feel? The hair on my arms is standing up.
You want that Stockton interview, don't you? - I want it bad.
- How bad? Real bad.
Great.
Now, you get to work.
Right.
I've got notes to make, research to read, questions to prepare.
- I'll be ready.
- I know you will.
Murph I'll see you tomorrow.
- Right.
Hey, Frank.
Thanks.
What did I do? Bye.
There he is.
Brad Stockton.
A pathetic piece of humanity.
View him like prey.
Don't worry, Jim.
He's shark bait.
Well, I just got a call from security.
It seems as though someone opened that inflatable life raft in my car.
Welcome back, Murphy.
Fifteen seconds, people.
Come on.
Clear the stage.
Let's settle.
Nail him, Murphy.
We're counting on you.
Miss Brown, it's a pleasure.
The pleasure is all mine.
All right.
Going live in five, four, three, two We're back.
And now Brad Stockton.
His meteoric rise in the financial world and subsequent indictment have captured attention of large and small players on both sides of the stock exchange.
On the eve of a landmark trial Murphy Brown talks with this controversial young man.
- Murphy.
- Thank you, Jim.
Mr.
Stockton, at 22 you were on the cover of TIME.
Two years later you're charged with swindling $10 million from those who invested in a chain called Parlez-Vous Frozen Yogurt.
You face allegations that Parlez-Vous was nothing more than a corporate shell game.
What do you say to that? Parlez-Vous was a bona fide corporation in every sense of the word.
We fully intended to return our investment, but like any new business we encountered unexpected delays.
- You certainly did.
The Justice Department shut you down on 15 counts of fraud.
They said you swindled $10 million from unsuspecting investors a majority of whom were senior citizens trusting you with their life savings.
Miss Brown, those people knew the risks.
I'm an entrepreneur, not a babysitter.
They begged you to return their money, but you couldn't.
You'd already spent it on a $3 million estate on Maui several sports cars, a private jet and a racehorse.
Now, wait a minute.
I really don't see how my personal lifestyle has anything to do with Are you all right? I'm fine.
Are you sure? Would you like some water? I just got a scratch in my throat.
All right, then, Mr.
Stockton, tell me this: How can you people honestly say that frozen yogurt has only half the calories of ice cream? So I'm in this store, and I'm staring up at this wall full of VCRs.
Hundreds of them.
VHS, Beta, cable-ready, stereo.
I feel my heart start to pound.
I'm sweating.
I hear the salesman's voice behind me, but it sounds like I'm in an echo chamber.
He's saying 8 millimeter is gonna replace everything but you can't rent that many tapes on it yet.
And do I need a wireless remote, and what about on-screen indexing? The room started spinning.
I couldn't breathe.
I felt like I was dying.
You are dying.
Just like your cells, one at a time.
Till there's none left and everything goes black.
And what was the point of it? Joan what do you think about Barry's experience? Big wow.
You wanna have an anxiety attack? Try taking four kids to a Pizza Hut.
Geoffrey? I just wanna say that for the first time in the five years I've been coming here I don't feel like an outcast.
And that's because there's a new person in the group.
And she hasn't said anything all evening.
Well, I'm sure Murphy will speak when she has something to say.
She doesn't wanna be here.
She'd rather be skiing in Aspen with Don Johnson than sitting here with us.
No, I wanna be here.
I definitely wanna be here.
Why? You'll never get better.
No one ever gets better.
I'd like to say something.
I've noticed that many of you have been treating Murphy differently than you would any other new member of the group.
She may be a celebrity but she does have problems, just like any of us.
She killed that guy on TV.
I did not.
Well, let's get down to business, shall we? Who would like to share something with the group? I would.
Go ahead, Geoffrey.
I would like to tell everyone here how much I care about them.
I love you, Murphy.
Thank you.
I love you, Joan.
I love you, Dan.
And, Barry I think I love you most of all.
- Yeah, I love you too, Geoffrey.
No.
I mean I really love you.
There, I said it.
It's like some giant weight's been taken off my shoulders.
I love Barry.
Finally, I'm free.
What do you want, a medal? Like there aren't enough fruits in the world already.
You think it's easy raising four kids alone? That's why women turn bitter.
That's why women kill.
Excuse me.
I'd like to say something now.
I don't really understand how this is supposed to help me.
Group, do you wanna respond to that? I'm gonna be honest with you.
I don't think this is for me.
I don't have time to sit around and hug all day.
I have a job.
Do you think I could talk about my problem then you could give me the answer and I'd be done, and I could get out of here? Sounds to me like you're looking for an easy way out.
Things don't work like that.
It takes time.
Now, see, that's my first problem with therapy.
You're supposed to sit around and yak about yourself for a couple of years.
Let's face it, it's all pretty self-indulgent.
And what's wrong with that, Murphy? People need a safe place to share their feelings.
Seems to me that you're just afraid to share yours.
Is that right? Why don't we just cut to the chase, doctor.
There's a lot of people out there who think this stuff you call science is just a lot of garbage.
What do you say to that? Do your research, Murphy.
It took me eight years at Stanford to practice what you call garbage.
I have helped an awful lot of people.
Oh, really? Isn't it true, doctor, that if I went to any other kind of doctor and came out and wasn't cured, I'd call him a quack? Yet here, people leave miserable, and you say, "That's good.
You're really growing emotionally.
" - I don't think you understand - A lot of people would like to know how you can call this therapy anything but a rip-off.
Admit it.
It's a great way to make a buck at the expense of the vulnerable patient who's looking for some way to get attention even if they have to buy it.
The bottom line is, it's a real racket and I think it's about time somebody exposed it.
Well.
Good for you, Murphy.
Good for me what? I'm not dead, am I? - Excuse me? - You confronted me.
You were tough on me, and I'm still here.
Wait a minute.
How do you feel? I don't know what to say.
I feel great.
Better than I've felt in a long time.
I can't believe you did that.
That was really good.
And after all those things I said about therapy taking a long time do I have egg on my face.
Well, as they say in my business, "That's a wrap.
" I'm parked in a loading zone, so I've gotta run.
Thanks for everything.
Nice meeting all of you.
If I can do anything for you, studio tours, anything at all don't hesitate to call.
Oh, Murphy.
You forgot your purse.
Right.
Won't get very far without that.
Boy, I should have my head examined.
Well, goodbye, everybody.
Good luck.
You know, Murphy I like to think that every behavior means something.
Even a little thing like forgetting your purse.
What do you think? As Freud said, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
" You know, Murphy, in the last week you have questioned a lot of things in your life.
Don't you think that that's worth some examination? Well, maybe I could stay a few more minutes.
That dip looks pretty good.
I made that.
I'm finished, though.
Other people have something to say, they just go right ahead.
All right.
Who would like to share something with the group? I had the strangest dream last night.
I was tumbling down this train tunnel, and I landed on a bed covered with cats