My Babysitter's a Vampire (2011) s01e11 Episode Script

The Brewed

Oh, man! Why couldn't we be at home? Watching So You Think You Can Fly? Eating a triple-meat lover's pizza.
- With extra meat.
- Yeah! Instead, our teachers could bash in here any second and scoop out our brains like chip dip.
(Bang!) Ooh.
Think we could outrun them? I don't have to outrun them.
I just have to outrun you.
You know? I think they'd go for your brain first there, "honour roll"! (Bang! Bang! Bang!) (Moans) Where is Sarah? We could really use her help right now.
I don't think she was in a very helping mood today.
I'm not breaking any arms or smashing anyone through a wall just because he called you what was it?.
- "Teethan".
- "Benny Rabbit".
It's not what he says, it's how he says it.
(Throat clearing) Let's go, boys! Right with you, sir.
If not there in 5 minutes, start boring kids without us! We'll be right there, sir.
Forget it! Look, I have a field trip to the art gallery.
Lucky me! Later "Teethan", "Benny Rabbit".
Sounds cute when she says it.
Oh! We're so dead! This is not fair! Why couldn't we get some kinda sign that this was going to happen? Just a hint would have been nice.
Bromine, aluminium, nitrogen, brain Brain.
She's the girl next door.
Nice but not in a heart that's pure She's the girl next door.
Just for me What you get is what you see No more "Maybe it's Maybelline" She can give you everything you need.
She's the girl next door.
Nice but not in a heart that's pure She's the girl next door.
Just for me (Clunk!) I hate this stuff.
If it lasts long enough, we should be able to hold them off until Sarah gets back.
Sarah is coming back, right? We're the most important things in her life, right? (Man): The use of light and shade is like an emotional fireworks display.
And the (Slurping) and the asymmetric tension.
Sometimes, I think he's never gonna stop talking.
I know! With Mr.
Collinwood it's like a picture's worth a 1000 words.
Telling us how he's determined to every single one of them.
Exactly.
At least, there's still so much to look at.
(Dring! Dring!) Ethan! I'm in class.
Yeah, me too.
The teacher is kinda some free time.
(Teacher): Brain.
I feel hot.
I need a Excuse me.
(Thump) I think what he meant is Text freely amongst yourselves! Hello? Planet Ethan? Oh! Sorry.
I just wanted to follow up.
If you did change your mind about scaring this jerk, his name's Scott.
He's tall, and— Ethan! I said no.
You're gonna have to learn to fight your own battles sometimes, OK? I have to go.
Yeah, you're right.
OK, listen.
Have you ever seen a teacher just walk right out of class mumbling? Teachers are strange.
Right now my art teacher is stroking a painting.
This turgid shade of brown brown brain.
Ethan: Yeah, I guess so.
Teacher: Brain Thanks.
Bye.
So, can I see what you've been drawing? It's nothing.
Just some sketches I— Oh! Come on! That's a wicked grip.
Hey, these are really good.
Oh, wow! Can I have this? I wish you would let me keep it.
After all, you get to see this every time you look in the mirror.
That's not as often as you might think.
You're not like other girls, are you? You could say that.
- Brain.
- Principal Hicks.
Trying to guess my locker combo? Here, let me help you.
Yeah, maybe you should sleep on it.
(Moans) (Teachers): Brain.
This is one student-teacher conference I'm going to have to skip.
Come on! This thing isn't gonna last much longer.
Maybe we should call Rory? Rory? Is it that bad? Well, he did say he wanted to protect the innocent.
(Moaning softly): Brain.
There goes the French teacher, Mrs.
Lafleur.
She's not looking too good either.
Yeah, well, she's also a teacher so who le heck cares, right? Greetings, mortals! - You look stranger than usual.
- Very perceptive, mortal.
Of course, you are among the few who know my real secret identity.
RV! Rory Vampire, defender of the innocent! - (Man): Brain.
- Hark! A cry for help! Someone is in need of brains.
RV, away! You mean, someone else has need of brains? You know, maybe he's finally going to meet his soul mate after all.
- Ha! Ha! - Braiiiiin Ooh! A dilemma.
The teacher's lounge is off-limits to students.
Who knows what goes on in there? (From the teacher's lounge): Brain.
Brain.
Excuse me, lad.
May I play through? I wouldn't go in there, sir.
I heard many strange noises like "Hunhhh"! and "Hueunnn".
And even one "Oiggg"! Ho! Ho! Ho! Yes, the staff is a tad excited.
I had Lotta Latte coffee delivered to celebrate 100 days till summer vacation.
Think of it! Summer.
Golf.
I can do it! Yes, yes! I can do it! Ha! Ha! Ha! Sir, once you go in there, I can't save you.
You know the legend.
When a student ventures into the teacher's lounge, he never comes out.
Never! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Yes.
I know the legend.
And who do you think made it up, eh? Huh? Huh? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh! Hello, Mr.
Toffey! How are you? (Moaning and groaning) I say (Moaning and glass breaking) No.
I mustn't.
What happens in the teacher's lounge stays in the teacher's lounge.
Besides, how bad could it possibly be? (Shouting and screaming) Zombies! Zombies! Ah! We need to warn everybody.
What? Didn't you hear me screaming? I think we've done our part.
Here! Wait for my cue.
Ah! (Beep) You're on! (Microphone feedback) Testing.
Check.
1, 2.
Testings.
- Benny! - Sorry.
Attention, all Whitechapel students.
This is an emergency life saving announcement from Benny Weir.
Admit it, girls, you know who I am.
Due to unforeseen circumstances, uh beyond our control, we have no choice but to cancel all classes, extra-curricular activities, and— Zombies! Run! Ethan! Snap out of it! Come on! Let's go! Benny! I just had a vision.
The coffee from Lotta Latte, that's what making this happen.
Lotta Latte.
Figures! You would have to be brain dead to pay 5 bucks a cup for flavoured bean juice.
But that doesn't make any sense.
This coffee has been around for a long time.
Why is it, all of a sudden, turning people into zombies? What changed? Whoa! What's this? This is not Liquid Chicken Debrainer.
- What? - It says Lotta Latte.
It's the same color jug but bigger with a lot more warning labels.
So where is it? Uh - (Girl): Can I just peep? - (Boy): No.
If I'm keeping this one, I want it to be almost as good as the original.
Well, you're making the original blush.
Stay still.
Admit it.
This beats listening to Collingwood drone on and on.
So when I saw this place across the street.
I knew it would be perfect for this.
Oh! My gosh! I'm sorry.
I have to go.
(Growling) Look! I just wanted a date, not a full-on action movie.
Listen, I think you need to call someone.
Oh! I'm sorry.
There's no beverages.
Our machine is all whacked up.
Something totally gooped up the filters.
See.
- Something is wrong here.
- Yeah.
Like I said.
The filters are so gunked up.
Me, I'm more of like a chai, soy type of person.
But our customers today went crazy for the batch.
Everyone's all like: Ga! Ga! Brains! Brains! Ga! Woof! You know? Oh! Here are some of our customers now.
(Zombies): Brain.
Brain.
Brain.
You might want to run.
Or hide.
Oh no! That's OK.
As long as I make them, the lattes, then they won't touch me.
Of course, now the machine's broken.
Oh, crud! We're gonna die.
(Groaning) Eww! Chicken breath! Brain.
All right! We're safe in here.
Trust me.
Teachers will never enter a student washroom.
It's like an unwritten rule of education.
Sure! Right up there with don't eat student's brains.
(Knocks on door) You know whose fault this really is? Sarah's! "Why don't you fight your own battles?" (Knocks) Hold strong! Did I miss anything? We were just talking about you.
Umm, hooray! We're saved.
We were worried about you.
I had a vision about what's turning people into zombies.
It's coffee! I know.
Lotta Latte.
I had a chat with the folks down there earlier.
Wow! You are, like, really good at that.
I tried to call you to warn you.
You never picked up.
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
I kinda lent my phone to Mr.
Collingwood.
.
- Oh.
- Phew.
All right.
Can we go now? I mean after I wash my hands, of course.
There's nowhere to go! The streets are crawling with zombies, and the longer we wait, the worse this thing gets.
Don't you have some, like, geek know-how on zombie fighting? Well, in every zombie movie, it's always the same.
Smash 'em in the head! Except in Super Dead 4.
They cured the zombies with "antizombulex".
You're right! If we get a sample of the coffee, maybe we can analyze it and find a cure or a weakness.
Sounds like we're headed to the lab.
Let's go! Wait, I think we're going to need my ectoplasmic refractor from home.
Oh! Love that ectoplasmic refractor.
Here's the deal.
You get a sample and I'll race to your house to get your "ecto" thing and we meet in the lab in 10 minutes.
Deal? Umm.
The refractor is in my room on my microscope, OK? OK.
She's leading them away.
Good.
There should still be some coffee in the teacher's lounge.
But first, we gotta make a pit stop.
Pit stop? We're already here.
Not that kind of pit stop.
Who would have thought the bio-lab had such big pig brains! Oh! I guess I did.
(Groaning) OK, over there.
Follow me.
OK.
So, we throw the pig brain, grab the coffee and then we're home free.
I don't think you understand the meaning of home free.
(Cell ring) Turn that thing off.
Hello? I can't talk right— What? Really? That's amazing.
- Benny! - 500 minutes.
Unlimited text.
Hang up.
OK.
Pig brain is go.
All right.
All right.
I'm going for it.
OK.
OK.
Right here.
OK.
OK.
Whoa! Oh! Oh! (Splash of coffee) I dropped the sample.
I'll get the coffee.
You go! So you wanna play rough, huh? This is for my D minus in Media Studies.
Benny? Is that you? Benny? Benny, are you OK? Never better.
Check this out.
- COOL! - Ah! Is that a chocolate? Got you! Check out what I swiped from the teacher's lounge.
Hicks took this from me in September.
Wait! You were in the teacher's lounge? Candy, games, TV, couches! - Zombies? - Really? I just thought they were all really grumpy.
Whatever.
We have to get this coffee to the chemistry lab.
Chemistry? Boring.
I'd rather smack me some zombies.
RV away! We better rearm.
Totally.
Let's get this cure going, huh? OK, "ectoplasmothingie": Check! Brains.
Ah! Miss Morgan, maybe you should try decaf.
BRAINS! BRAINS! Brains! Brains! Sorry.
I'm still babysitting Friday night, right? Oh! Thanks.
Did you see my mom? We exchanged a few words.
You OK, Benny? You look really sweaty.
Yeah! I'm fine.
I'm pumped.
Let's do this zombie cure! There's definitely something going on here.
These cells are like neurons.
Like brain cells, but they're mutating.
OK.
Mutant neurons.
Cool.
(Loud knocks) Company! Speed up the geeking! You can't rush science! You can if you don't want your brain eaten! What happened? The neurons are gone.
Just looks like plain old coffee now with It's like it's cured itself just sitting there.
Maybe it has to be fresh? Hot! That's why the zombies hate the fire extinguisher.
It's cold! Great so we just wait here until January.
Can we just blast the air-conditioning or something? Sound like a plan! Benny, pack up.
We've gotta fight our way to the mechanical room.
Who are you kidding? They'll break you like a fingernail.
I'll do it.
Oh! If you wanna go.
Totally.
Next zombie rescue is on us.
Yeah.
Brain.
Benny, what's up? You look really pale and sweaty.
Did you get bit back there? No.
I got bit up here.
Benny! Why didn't you tell me? I thought you might get cure Fix Benny.
Can I bite your head? Come on! Can't there be something as simple as an "on" switch? Just stay with me.
Not right with me, but, you know.
'Cause of the biting thing.
Just hang on.
OK? Hang on! (Zombie moaning) Benny! Benny! Brain! (Window crash) Brains.
Mom! Not you too.
Ah! Rory, you scared me.
Come here.
Make your geek-self useful? Brains! (Scream) Do not bite me! Or you're gonna be the most undead vampire that ever undied! It works? (Air conditioning) Guess you're cooler than you look after all? Zombies, just go! No more brains! (Air conditioning) We good? Yeah.
The zombies are all cooled off and catching some Zs.
(Yawning) I get tired just looking at them.
You know what we need? A coffee.
No.
I'll pass.
Thanks.
Half-caf, low-fat, latte mochaccino.
No foam.
And so all over Whitechapel, people are cranking the AC, trapping their loved ones in freezers, and throwing ice cream at children.
That's how yesterday's bizarre outbreak of hot coffee fever was frozen in its tracks by common cold, thanks to local heroes like these Hi.
Lotta Latte coffee, it's all better now.
(Sarah): I can't believe I liked that guy.
This stinks! We saved the day.
"We"? You almost bit my face off.
I meant before that.
I'm sorry, Benny, but we unsung heroes have to take the high road.
Right, Sarah? It's impossible What the Did you feel that? (Mumbling) Great! The high road.
She's the girl next door.
Nice but not in a heart that's pure.
She's the girl next door.
Just for me
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