My Family (2000) s07e01 Episode Script
Ego Has Landed
You know, Ben, we've been married a long time Uh-oh I personally think it's because we know how to communicate, - we're able to talk - Mmm Have a back and forth conversation, a dialogue, if you will Just get to it, Susan We're having dinner with the Mortons tonight - No, we're not - Yes, we are - No, we're not - Yes, we are Sorry Excuse me for interrupting But is this the dialogue bit? You know, the bit that kept our marriage alive? They're a lovely young couple You enjoyed talking to them when we were on holiday in Corfu Yeah, the three bottles of wine didn't hurt - It was four - Ah The point is they're good people and they could become good friends They're the worst kind of friends They're the friends that like to be around and involved in your life And the small talk Please, so irritating I told them we'd be at the restaurant at eight (GROANS) They said they have a matter to discuss with us Look, I said I'm sorry I thought we were all taking our swimsuits off You'd been in the pool for two hours, Ben, and no one noticed - Anyway, we're going - No, we're not - Yes, we are - No, we're not - Yes, we are - We are Fine Do you mind dropping me at the gallery on your way to work? Anything for you, darling This time actually stopping the car before I get out? Look, I said I was late for an appointment, and I've already said I was sorry Oh, that's what you shouted as you drove away - Hello, honey - Oh, better not, Mum Kenzo's given me his cold, and I don't want to give it to you Oh, I'm not afraid of that stuff Come here No reason not to show affection to your children God's precious gift, hmm? You're not getting out of tonight Come on, one more for luck (DOORBELL RINGING) - What about me? - Sorry What about you what? You do not show physical affection, Michael You know the rules - Yeah? - Hello I was looking for Janey Yeah, she's down there in the abyss - Everything all right, Janey? - Yeah Right I'm fine Mum, Dad, this is Mark He's a friend of mine Hello, there I'm sorry to interrupt and come round without calling, - but I need to talk to you - Fine, well, we'll get out of your way Come on, Susan We're going to be late again Come on I don't want that, either, trust me Well, it was nice meeting you You look so familiar - Have we met? - No, I don't think so BEN: Susan! They have no clue who I am, do they? No And what are you doing here? Mind giving us some privacy? Sorry Didn't think you had the next bloke scheduled till 4:15 - So, how is Kenzo? - He's fine And your parents have no idea I'm his father? Hold on, now Great! Michael, this is Mark, the father of your nephew Nice to finally meet you Was it your idea to call him Kenzo? Kenzo's father! The eyes He has your eyes Mum, this is Mark, and yes, he is Kenzo's father I knew it My God, I'm right! My years of searching, and this is him What the hell is going on? What? I'm on the open road, I'm about to open her up to 20 and then she opens the door and jumps out, crying, "Kenzo's" I see Oh, it's you, is it? I think we ought to have a little chat Or Mark could just leave and we all go on with our lives and - No, let's chat - No, let's chat Come here Please, sit down First of all, I must apologise I'm sorry for just coming round like this, but there have been recent events in my life which have made me seriously rethink some things And, Janey, I know at the time we had an agreement, but now I want to be more involved in Kenzo's life I'm at a better place I'm ready He just seems like such a lovely person What did you do to screw it up? What makes you think it was me that screwed it up? All right But you know what I was like back then You know, I was fickle, always looking over my shoulder for the next bloke - And now you're - More mature So what do I do? Do I let him see Kenzo? It can't hurt Plus, it might be a good idea to have a charming, articulate man in Kenzo's life Let's get this crappy dinner over with Lord knows you didn't Apple, don't leave Pooh Bear - What's wrong, Abi? - Ask Roger about him cheating on me Roger! I didn't know you had it in you I don't Abi had a dream last night that I cheated on her and she's been in this mood all day All right, Roger, calm down It'll pass It may take a little longer with Abi, but come on All women are like this The best bet, son, just keep saying you're sorry So, you're on the A25, but if you get onto the B414 at junction six, you'll miss that section of the M25 completely Another bottle of wine, please You were about to tell us about the lane closures on the M40 Please, let's save something for dessert Anyway, thanks for coming to dinner We just wanted to let you know what was going on in our lives We've We've had some difficulties I thought so They want money We've been trying to start a family And it would seem we're not able You are so lucky Cherish that gift - No, no, we really want kids - Of course you do which is why we want Ben to be our sperm donor Of course, we realise this is a big favour to ask, and it would be a question for both of you Les and I talked about it, and Well, that last dinner that we had, we were so impressed by everything Ben told us about himself Am I the only one who remembers the four bottles of wine? We don't need it tonight What? - An answer - An answer Mmm-hmm Just look over the papers We'd be the responsible parties Will you think about it? Sure Thanks, you two, so much for even considering this It would be an honour It You going to do that all night? - Aren't we going to talk about this? - We? We? With all due respect, they were being nice It's me they want Don't flatter yourself If we hadn't been on that holiday, they would be asking some hairdresser from Sidcup You know what I think? I think they saw me without my trunks (GRUNTING) So I have no say in this Fine (GROANING) You know what this is, don't you? You think you're getting old and you're not going to have any more children I mean, most likely And then there's me producing in the range of 300 million little Ben Harpers a day Please, I want to be able to sleep tonight Come on, Susan Calm down You're not any less of a woman because you're finished having children It's not the only thing that defines you as a woman Shut up, Ben NARRATOR ON TV: The alpha male dominates the weaker males with a quiet confidence.
Oh, so he does You bet he does The giant silverback has earned his position in the group.
He's the biggest, strongest, most virile male of the group.
Ha What a boy You know, Susan, I'm rather like that silverback in the jungle You're more like the baboon at the zoo playing with his banana What time is Kenzo's dad supposed to bring him home? Any minute now, I imagine Yeah, why are they taking so long? Perhaps you should be using this time more valuably, Janey People think I just sit around doing nothing, but that couldn't be further from the truth At the moment, for instance, I'm in the process of conjugating the French verb savoir.
Well, good luck with that Oh, thank God - Oh, it's just you - Nice to see you, too I thought it was Kenzo coming back with his dad Oh, yeah He seemed like a nice guy Could you imagine having a father who's interested in spending time with you? Apparently, most of them do I know, weird And you're absolutely sure you want to go through with this? Susan, the alpha male has a responsibility to the species You know, to keep the strong genetics going Okay? I know the phrase "super-race" may be unfashionable, but - Oh, hello - Good evening Ben Ben Harper Kent Hawthorne Oh, my God, it's good to see you again Kent Hawthorne Yes, I started a chain of these years ago Ah, right Ah, yes Sorry, this is my wife, Susan Susan, I was at university with Kent Nice to meet you Where did you end up? Oh, dentistry Yeah Very, very big practice, very big, but, I mean, not as big as this, but it's not bad at all So, you two thinking about God, no! No, I'm just helping out a lovely young couple who asked me to donate Yeah Apparently, they saw qualities in me that they wanted to pass on to the new generation Modesty wasn't one of them Well, then, let's get you taken care of Make sure that you get special treatment - Pays to know the owner - All right We've got one more client tonight - This is Mr Harper - Hi - Ben, do you have your paperwork? - Yes Thanks, Kent, I appreciate this Right, look, I need to get going Ben, what you have to do is He's familiar with the procedure - Right Good night - Bye He should only be a minute Why can't Abi just let it go? It was just a dream! But it's never just a dream, is it, Roger? There's always an underlying meaning I once dreamt I saw three gleaming dolphins jumping through hoops while 30 nuns wearing sunglasses looked on - What did it mean? - I don't know But that day I'd been to Sea World and there was a coachload of nuns there - And the sunglasses? - It was a very sunny day Who knew? (WHISPERING) Susan It's all right It's fine, fine Susan Susan! - What? - I need a ha I need your help No, no Hand me the magazine (DOORBELL RINGING) We went to the zoo Oh Wow - Sounds like you had a great day - We did, and thank you Look, I know it's a lot to ask, but when can we see him again? Oh, any time - We? - Linda and I Linda, my wife She's just finishing a call out in the car Kenzo, why don't you go and run and play with Alfie and Uncle Michael? They're going to take you into the kitchen Right, Alfie and Uncle Michael? Oh, right, the kitchen Let's go, Kenzo Alfie, we're taking Kenzo to get him some biscuits Oh, right, sorry Biscuits Janey, I told you about Linda I wrote you a letter We've been married for two years Well, I didn't get it And you didn't mention it in the three hours we spent with Kenzo Please, Janey, I'm so sorry I Oh, hello It's so nice to finally meet you You've done a wonderful job with your son Yeah, well Janey never got the letter about us being married Oh, no That's terrible Don't mind us We're going upstairs to play with my old trains - Alfie finished all the biscuits - Guilty as charged Kenzo, come and say goodbye to your dad and Linda Bye, Dad Bye, new Mummy - I'm sure he didn't mean that - Oh Hell, no New Mummy? New Mummy? That's it? I can be replaced just like that? Do you want me to tell you what you want to hear, - or do you want the honest answer? - What I want to hear, obviously The honest answer is women are replaceable at the drop of a hat We push the babies out, we raise them and then we're done - We serve no other purpose - Do you mind sewing a button on for me? I take that back I've a mind not to let Mark see Kenzo any more Now, wait a minute Wait a minute You said this "new Mummy" thing didn't come from either Mark or Linda - So what? - So? - It's not really fair on Kenzo, is it? - Yeah, but? You have to put the best interests of your child first It's what mothers do All right, most mothers Mum, do you mind if Kenzo and I stay here for a few nights? You know, with everything that's been going on, - I haven't slept a wink - Of course, darling I haven't slept much, either Your father's been doing push-ups in the middle of the night, rather than taking care of the old female of the group I, for one, don't know what the big deal is I think you're a wonderful, capable mother and you've got a lot to be proud of And I'm really glad you're my daughter Come on, come on We don't want to be late Come on All the men in the world, and they want to breed from that? (MOBILE RINGING) Hello? Oh, Mark Hi Tomorrow? Oh, well Yeah, I'm not sure that's going to work Yeah Sorry, it's just Kenzo's cold has come back a bit, and he's a little under the (IMITATING AEROPLANE) weather Yeah It'd probably be best if he stays with me right now Yeah Yeah, okay - Who was that, Mummy? - No one, sweetheart No one Roger, can I talk to you? Yes, my banoffee pie - I had another dream - Oh, no This one's a little different from the last one It was still of a sexual nature, but this time involving me - Oh, Abi! Go on - I'm going I'm going to go now The good Lord blessed me with a very vivid imagination Or should I say cursed? No, no I'm pretty happy with it - Well? - Well, like you said, it's just a dream, - so I don't want you to get upset - I won't get upset I slept with Orlando Bloom last night Orlando Bloom? That's - Oh, that's fine It was just a dream - And anyway, I'm sure that when we do finally celebrate our love physically, you'll be just as spectacular as Orlando Oh, yes But just remember, you know, it was just a dream, and, you know, things can seem a lot larger than life in dreams Oh, Roger, I can't wait So you have no idea what this is about? He just said he wanted to see you? Hmm Thank you two for coming in Given the delicate nature of being a donor, I wanted to talk to you in person Look, Ben We evaluate a number of areas when we examine a possible donor There's a lot to consider, such as reproductive viability, - motility - Yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure, but can we just get to the point, please? Your little swimmers can't get the job done (SNICKERING) Sorry, what are you saying? Well, they're just sort of sitting there I don't want to use the word lazy, but I've never really seen anything like it Um there must be some kind of mistake - No, I'm afraid not, no - Susan, please, this is not funny Oh, no! No, it's funny Look, Ben, I know this is hard to hear, but This is ridiculous I've got three children - Right And how old's your youngest? - 18 Well, at some point in the past 18 years, I'm afraid the workers have left the factory Please, Susan This has got to be a mistake Let me have another crack at it Come on, give me a beaker Look, knowing you, Ben, I thought you might react like this, so I've brought your actual sample in for you to see Look, this can't be right There's no This can't (SUSAN CONTINUES LAUGHING) See, look there There's one moving Use that one - No, he stopped - Please, I just have to see for myself Nope Nothing It's like they're just sitting, watching television Imagine that! Look, I am sorry, Ben, and as far as the Mortons are concerned, I don't know how you want me to handle that - Would you like me to deliver - It's okay I'll talk to them I can handle it I'm not completely useless Come on, Susan, let's go (GASPING) - Oh, please, just one more look - Come on now Go on, go on I deserve it Go on, get it out of your system The point is, Ben, it shouldn't make you feel any less of a man because you've finished producing children That can't be the only thing that defines you as a man - I can take it - You do have it coming, you know I rang the Mortons I've arranged dinner with them tomorrow night Don't feel you have to be there Oh, I'm going to be there I wouldn't miss it for the world - You're not going - Yes, I am - No, you're not - I am Haven't you gloated enough? I think I can manage a little bit more So, what are you going to tell them? The truth I'm going to get something to drink Oh, no push-ups tonight? (SUSAN GIGGLING) What are you two doing up? It's getting late Oh, we were just having a little chat - Kenzo's full of questions tonight - Like? When am I going to see Daddy again? I thought that was going to be today Well, it was supposed to be, but I just thought it better to, you know, wait and see with Kenzo, you're a very lucky little boy You have the best mother in the world who will always do what's right for you, even though it means she's uncomfortable All right, all right, he gets it I just want him to be proud of the decisions his mother makes him Mum, really, enough - Good night, sweetheart - Night, Gran And, Kenzo, I want you to remember something You only have one mummy, and she's right here next to you Did you hear that? One mum It's me - I think he gets it - One mum, Kenzo Me - Janey, okay - Just making sure he gets it - Oh, it's you - Hello, Mr Harper Daddy! - You two have a good time - Thanks, we're just going for a pizza - I'll have him back in an hour - Okay Bye, Mummy, I love you Thank you Okay, Susan, ready for dinner? The question is are you ready for dinner? What? About to go into a crowded restaurant and tell two virtual strangers I'm infertile? Can't wait If you go from the A229 straight onto the M20 and then cut through on the B261 through Detling, that misses out all the nonsense on the A37 Well, it does (CLEARING THROAT) Right More wine, anyone? - Thank you for inviting us to dinner - Not at all, there's no problem Have you been thinking about our proposal? Les and I were wondering what you were going to say - You're not the only ones - Yeah Let's just dive in, shall we? Well, the truth is The truth is that, um Uh, what I'm trying to say It's very, very difficult for me to say this, but What Ben is trying to say is we have to decline your very complimentary offer But Ben and I talked about it, and we decided, you know, we have our children And then, of course, you have to understand the kind of father Ben is He's so dedicated and attentive I am? Both of those things And I think we're both afraid he might not be able to emotionally separate himself from one of his own offspring Right Well, I can't say we're not disappointed, but I think we completely understand Thank you, Les Well, that's the way it goes sometimes We just hope the father we do find has all of Ben's wonderful qualities I don't suppose there's anything we could say to make you change your mind? - No - No Tell me a bedtime story about the times your daddy took you out We don't have time for a fairy story tonight I wanted to get ice cream, but Linda wouldn't let me Why not? She only eats healthy food, that's what she said Really? You know, you were right I did have a problem with the whole idea of not having any more children It really bothered me But in the last few days, I've come to realise something What's that, darling? I think the way I define myself as a woman now is all about helping my kids And pulling your arse out of the fire Here's your shirt, by the way Good night - Ben? - Mmm? What are you doing? Well, Susan, the factory may be closed, but the equipment's still working
Oh, so he does You bet he does The giant silverback has earned his position in the group.
He's the biggest, strongest, most virile male of the group.
Ha What a boy You know, Susan, I'm rather like that silverback in the jungle You're more like the baboon at the zoo playing with his banana What time is Kenzo's dad supposed to bring him home? Any minute now, I imagine Yeah, why are they taking so long? Perhaps you should be using this time more valuably, Janey People think I just sit around doing nothing, but that couldn't be further from the truth At the moment, for instance, I'm in the process of conjugating the French verb savoir.
Well, good luck with that Oh, thank God - Oh, it's just you - Nice to see you, too I thought it was Kenzo coming back with his dad Oh, yeah He seemed like a nice guy Could you imagine having a father who's interested in spending time with you? Apparently, most of them do I know, weird And you're absolutely sure you want to go through with this? Susan, the alpha male has a responsibility to the species You know, to keep the strong genetics going Okay? I know the phrase "super-race" may be unfashionable, but - Oh, hello - Good evening Ben Ben Harper Kent Hawthorne Oh, my God, it's good to see you again Kent Hawthorne Yes, I started a chain of these years ago Ah, right Ah, yes Sorry, this is my wife, Susan Susan, I was at university with Kent Nice to meet you Where did you end up? Oh, dentistry Yeah Very, very big practice, very big, but, I mean, not as big as this, but it's not bad at all So, you two thinking about God, no! No, I'm just helping out a lovely young couple who asked me to donate Yeah Apparently, they saw qualities in me that they wanted to pass on to the new generation Modesty wasn't one of them Well, then, let's get you taken care of Make sure that you get special treatment - Pays to know the owner - All right We've got one more client tonight - This is Mr Harper - Hi - Ben, do you have your paperwork? - Yes Thanks, Kent, I appreciate this Right, look, I need to get going Ben, what you have to do is He's familiar with the procedure - Right Good night - Bye He should only be a minute Why can't Abi just let it go? It was just a dream! But it's never just a dream, is it, Roger? There's always an underlying meaning I once dreamt I saw three gleaming dolphins jumping through hoops while 30 nuns wearing sunglasses looked on - What did it mean? - I don't know But that day I'd been to Sea World and there was a coachload of nuns there - And the sunglasses? - It was a very sunny day Who knew? (WHISPERING) Susan It's all right It's fine, fine Susan Susan! - What? - I need a ha I need your help No, no Hand me the magazine (DOORBELL RINGING) We went to the zoo Oh Wow - Sounds like you had a great day - We did, and thank you Look, I know it's a lot to ask, but when can we see him again? Oh, any time - We? - Linda and I Linda, my wife She's just finishing a call out in the car Kenzo, why don't you go and run and play with Alfie and Uncle Michael? They're going to take you into the kitchen Right, Alfie and Uncle Michael? Oh, right, the kitchen Let's go, Kenzo Alfie, we're taking Kenzo to get him some biscuits Oh, right, sorry Biscuits Janey, I told you about Linda I wrote you a letter We've been married for two years Well, I didn't get it And you didn't mention it in the three hours we spent with Kenzo Please, Janey, I'm so sorry I Oh, hello It's so nice to finally meet you You've done a wonderful job with your son Yeah, well Janey never got the letter about us being married Oh, no That's terrible Don't mind us We're going upstairs to play with my old trains - Alfie finished all the biscuits - Guilty as charged Kenzo, come and say goodbye to your dad and Linda Bye, Dad Bye, new Mummy - I'm sure he didn't mean that - Oh Hell, no New Mummy? New Mummy? That's it? I can be replaced just like that? Do you want me to tell you what you want to hear, - or do you want the honest answer? - What I want to hear, obviously The honest answer is women are replaceable at the drop of a hat We push the babies out, we raise them and then we're done - We serve no other purpose - Do you mind sewing a button on for me? I take that back I've a mind not to let Mark see Kenzo any more Now, wait a minute Wait a minute You said this "new Mummy" thing didn't come from either Mark or Linda - So what? - So? - It's not really fair on Kenzo, is it? - Yeah, but? You have to put the best interests of your child first It's what mothers do All right, most mothers Mum, do you mind if Kenzo and I stay here for a few nights? You know, with everything that's been going on, - I haven't slept a wink - Of course, darling I haven't slept much, either Your father's been doing push-ups in the middle of the night, rather than taking care of the old female of the group I, for one, don't know what the big deal is I think you're a wonderful, capable mother and you've got a lot to be proud of And I'm really glad you're my daughter Come on, come on We don't want to be late Come on All the men in the world, and they want to breed from that? (MOBILE RINGING) Hello? Oh, Mark Hi Tomorrow? Oh, well Yeah, I'm not sure that's going to work Yeah Sorry, it's just Kenzo's cold has come back a bit, and he's a little under the (IMITATING AEROPLANE) weather Yeah It'd probably be best if he stays with me right now Yeah Yeah, okay - Who was that, Mummy? - No one, sweetheart No one Roger, can I talk to you? Yes, my banoffee pie - I had another dream - Oh, no This one's a little different from the last one It was still of a sexual nature, but this time involving me - Oh, Abi! Go on - I'm going I'm going to go now The good Lord blessed me with a very vivid imagination Or should I say cursed? No, no I'm pretty happy with it - Well? - Well, like you said, it's just a dream, - so I don't want you to get upset - I won't get upset I slept with Orlando Bloom last night Orlando Bloom? That's - Oh, that's fine It was just a dream - And anyway, I'm sure that when we do finally celebrate our love physically, you'll be just as spectacular as Orlando Oh, yes But just remember, you know, it was just a dream, and, you know, things can seem a lot larger than life in dreams Oh, Roger, I can't wait So you have no idea what this is about? He just said he wanted to see you? Hmm Thank you two for coming in Given the delicate nature of being a donor, I wanted to talk to you in person Look, Ben We evaluate a number of areas when we examine a possible donor There's a lot to consider, such as reproductive viability, - motility - Yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure, but can we just get to the point, please? Your little swimmers can't get the job done (SNICKERING) Sorry, what are you saying? Well, they're just sort of sitting there I don't want to use the word lazy, but I've never really seen anything like it Um there must be some kind of mistake - No, I'm afraid not, no - Susan, please, this is not funny Oh, no! No, it's funny Look, Ben, I know this is hard to hear, but This is ridiculous I've got three children - Right And how old's your youngest? - 18 Well, at some point in the past 18 years, I'm afraid the workers have left the factory Please, Susan This has got to be a mistake Let me have another crack at it Come on, give me a beaker Look, knowing you, Ben, I thought you might react like this, so I've brought your actual sample in for you to see Look, this can't be right There's no This can't (SUSAN CONTINUES LAUGHING) See, look there There's one moving Use that one - No, he stopped - Please, I just have to see for myself Nope Nothing It's like they're just sitting, watching television Imagine that! Look, I am sorry, Ben, and as far as the Mortons are concerned, I don't know how you want me to handle that - Would you like me to deliver - It's okay I'll talk to them I can handle it I'm not completely useless Come on, Susan, let's go (GASPING) - Oh, please, just one more look - Come on now Go on, go on I deserve it Go on, get it out of your system The point is, Ben, it shouldn't make you feel any less of a man because you've finished producing children That can't be the only thing that defines you as a man - I can take it - You do have it coming, you know I rang the Mortons I've arranged dinner with them tomorrow night Don't feel you have to be there Oh, I'm going to be there I wouldn't miss it for the world - You're not going - Yes, I am - No, you're not - I am Haven't you gloated enough? I think I can manage a little bit more So, what are you going to tell them? The truth I'm going to get something to drink Oh, no push-ups tonight? (SUSAN GIGGLING) What are you two doing up? It's getting late Oh, we were just having a little chat - Kenzo's full of questions tonight - Like? When am I going to see Daddy again? I thought that was going to be today Well, it was supposed to be, but I just thought it better to, you know, wait and see with Kenzo, you're a very lucky little boy You have the best mother in the world who will always do what's right for you, even though it means she's uncomfortable All right, all right, he gets it I just want him to be proud of the decisions his mother makes him Mum, really, enough - Good night, sweetheart - Night, Gran And, Kenzo, I want you to remember something You only have one mummy, and she's right here next to you Did you hear that? One mum It's me - I think he gets it - One mum, Kenzo Me - Janey, okay - Just making sure he gets it - Oh, it's you - Hello, Mr Harper Daddy! - You two have a good time - Thanks, we're just going for a pizza - I'll have him back in an hour - Okay Bye, Mummy, I love you Thank you Okay, Susan, ready for dinner? The question is are you ready for dinner? What? About to go into a crowded restaurant and tell two virtual strangers I'm infertile? Can't wait If you go from the A229 straight onto the M20 and then cut through on the B261 through Detling, that misses out all the nonsense on the A37 Well, it does (CLEARING THROAT) Right More wine, anyone? - Thank you for inviting us to dinner - Not at all, there's no problem Have you been thinking about our proposal? Les and I were wondering what you were going to say - You're not the only ones - Yeah Let's just dive in, shall we? Well, the truth is The truth is that, um Uh, what I'm trying to say It's very, very difficult for me to say this, but What Ben is trying to say is we have to decline your very complimentary offer But Ben and I talked about it, and we decided, you know, we have our children And then, of course, you have to understand the kind of father Ben is He's so dedicated and attentive I am? Both of those things And I think we're both afraid he might not be able to emotionally separate himself from one of his own offspring Right Well, I can't say we're not disappointed, but I think we completely understand Thank you, Les Well, that's the way it goes sometimes We just hope the father we do find has all of Ben's wonderful qualities I don't suppose there's anything we could say to make you change your mind? - No - No Tell me a bedtime story about the times your daddy took you out We don't have time for a fairy story tonight I wanted to get ice cream, but Linda wouldn't let me Why not? She only eats healthy food, that's what she said Really? You know, you were right I did have a problem with the whole idea of not having any more children It really bothered me But in the last few days, I've come to realise something What's that, darling? I think the way I define myself as a woman now is all about helping my kids And pulling your arse out of the fire Here's your shirt, by the way Good night - Ben? - Mmm? What are you doing? Well, Susan, the factory may be closed, but the equipment's still working