My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic s05e09 Episode Script

Slice of Life

I'll never understand the ponies in this town! Everywhere I went, they were all gussied up and lookin' at me funny! Kept asking if I was 'nervous'! Did they forget the wedding is tomorrow? Oh, maybe they're just as excited for us to be married as I am.
Well, they're going to feel awfully silly when they realize they've got the wrong date.
The invitations are wrong! Tis says the wedding is today! But I got such a good deal on them Everypony in town got these! The princesses have even RSVP'd! I told you we should have eloped! Oh dear.
The caterer, the flowers, the musicians! We've got to move it all to today! What?! Where's my wedding planner?! You told me you could do it for half of what the others charged, and then you sent the invitations to everypony in town with the wrong date! Muffin? I really messed up on those invitations! I feel just awful, Doc! Hmph, perhaps that explains why I never got mine! I told Cranky I could get 'em printed for cheap, but that meant hiring somepony with no experience using a printing press Oh, I wish there was a way I could go back in time and fix all this! Going back in time is old thinking, my friend.
I was working off a cutting-edge theory of making time come forward to you My life's work, decades, speaking, centuries, really, of research and experimentation, and I nearly had it cracked! Turns out there's a magic spell for it who knew? But there are so many things that magic can't explain, where science and mathematics are the real magic! Like these? They're pretty Ah, yes, my flameless fireworks.
I never could quite figure out how to get them to ignite.
How did you learn to make all this stuff anyway? I've been studying science my whole life.
Ever since a particularly traumatic experience as a foal, I've been looking for ways to make sense of the world around me.
Science provides explanations of things we never thought possible! But why did we come here again? Oh! Because I accidentally sent out invitations for Cranky and Matilda's wedding with today's date instead of tomorrow's! Great whickering stallions! I completely forgot! And I still need to get my suit tailored! Rarity? Rarity! Please! You've got to help me! I lost track of time, unbelievably, and forgot that the wedding is this afternoon! Have you seen Rarity? She's got to open the sleeves of my suit and she's got to do it now! Oh, haha, thank goodness.
Lead on, my friend.
Er, why have you brought me here? Rarity would never set hoof in- Great whickering stallions, they've got style! Gentlecolts! I'm facing certain calamity, and I couldn't help noticing your remarkable fashion sense! Could I have the name of your incredible tailor? Oh yeah, man, his name is me.
Me'.
What an unfortunate name.
No, man, like, I manufacture all of my own garments.
We all do, man.
Then you've got to help me! I need this suit tailored! It's an emergency! Sorry, man, we're just about to start the finals.
What's this word you keep using? Man'? I dunno, man, but guess what? Our fourth didn't show, so if you roll with us, we'll alter your suit for you.
I'm sorry, gentlecolts, but I will not bowl.
The splits, the spares! There are simply too many variables! Variables? What are you talking about, man? Just throw the ball straight! Hold on.
Straight? Very well.
I'll try your straight technique.
It just might be crazy enough to work.
Do we know what they're on about? The way they're huddled up like that, I'd say it's either a friendship problem or a monster attack.
A monster attack?! Blast! I'm performing at the ceremony this afternoon, and I still haven't sorted out what to play.
How am I meant to practice with a monster invading Ponyville? Maybe it's just a friendship problem, and it'll all be cleared up in half an hour or so.
I hope so.
Where's Pinkie Pie?! I need my wedding planner! Oh, no! On my wedding day?! Somepony's gotta help me! You! Me? I'm to move an entire wedding from tomorrow to today! But nopony's asked me to organize anything since Twilight came to town.
So you'll do it? I used to be the best organizer in all of Ponyville.
You bet I'll— Come on! We better get to the salon before that monster flattens it! What am I gonna do? Matilda! I feel so bad about the invitations! Is there anything I can do— FLOWERS! You want Matilda's arrangements today?! This is awful! The horror, the horror! So, there's no way you can do it? We don't even have Matilda's flowers in yet, much less arranged! This is a disaster! Okay.
Thanks anyway.
Look, girls! A broken stem on one of the zinneas! Whaat?! Oh, the horror, the horror! I have to admit, when Matilda said we needed this place ready by today, I was a little nervous.
With you by my side, I knew we'd get it done in time.
There is nothing like a best friend, is there? Anything's possible when you know somepony as well as we know each other! What was that? There's some monster attacking Ponyville or something.
What is it this time? Creature from the Everfree Forest? Uh, I think it's some sort of bugbear.
Did you say bugbear? It found me! What are you talking about, Bon Bon? My name isn't Bon Bon.
It's Special Agent Sweetie Drops.
I work for a super-secret anti-monster agency in Canterlot, or at least I did until the bugbear went missing from Tartarus a few years back.
What are you talking about? When it escaped, we had to shut down the whole agency.
Every last shred of evidence of the organization's existence was destroyed.
Celestia commanded complete deniability.
What? It was me who captured the bugbear.
I had to go deep cover here in Ponyville and assume the name Bon Bon.
I never thought it'd be able to track me, but now it has.
Are you saying our whole friendship was based on a lie?! I'm sorry, Lyra! I couldn't tell you for your own protection! B-b-but the lunches! The, the long talks! The benches we sat on! None of that was real?! It was all real.
You're my very best friend.
I've got to go find a crowd to blend into before I put you in danger! I'll see you at the wedding.
Fine! But we're going to talk about this later! I need my ring today, no matter the cost! as long as it doesn't cost any extra.
Seven/ten split, man.
Harshest of the harsh.
But if you pick this up, we win the whole shebang! Doc! I've finally figured out how I can help! Your flameless fireworks look just like flowers! I'll use them for the wedding! Great whickering stallions, wait! Wait! The flameless fireworks are extremely volatile! Without knowing what the trigger is, they could go off at any moment! My word, is that a bugbear? Oh, there are so many things I'm forgetting! I hope Cranky remembers to tell the musicians! Oh, oh, I'll never get my mane done in time! You must relax, my dear! We can handle anything! We once did a pony's hair during the ceremony! Oh, it's true, it's true! They really are the best! Matilda, I've just got to say, I already feel like we're family! You do? Of course! I'm Steven Magnet, Cranky's best beast! You're Steven Magnet? What did you expect, a bugbear? I've known Cranky forev-er! Surely he must have told you about the time he saved me from Flash Freeze Lake? You're Steven Magnet.
Oh, I know, I know! Typical Cranky, to leave out minor details, like the fact that I'm, y'know, a sea monster, right? I just love that old burro! I'm sorry, Steven, I guess I assumed you were a pony.
Um, I had no idea you had such adventures together.
Oh, honey, you don't know the half of it! But let me tell you something, in all that we've been through together, the only thing he ever cared about was finding you.
Really? Well, that and a baldness cure.
He is the sweetest thing, isn't he? All the stress I've put myself through.
All the stress I've put him through! The only thing that matters is that we're together! The wedding isn't the important thing, the marriage is.
Oh, goodness gracious.
If you believe that, I have got a bridge to sell you! All these ponies travelling to Ponyville, putting on uncomfortable clothes, sitting through a long ceremony, you think any of them care about the marriage? Honey, the wedding is everything.
Ugh, all these wedding songs are so standard.
I want Matilda and Cranky's wedding to be special.
Thanks, but I'm not sure that's appropriate for a wedding, is it? That's more like it! Stop! I'm going to be late for the wedding! What is life? Is it nothing more than the endless search for a cutie mark? And what is a cutie mark, but a constant reminder that we're all only one bugbear attack away from oblivion? And what of the poor gator? Flank forver blank, destined to an existential swim down the river of life, to an unknowable destiny? Something like that might work.
What do you mean, you left it on the counter?! I thought you were bringing it! This is just wonderful! I handled the gifts for Cadance and Shining Armor! You were supposed to do this one, remember? Well, we can't just come to this wedding empty-hoofed! It's alright.
He always cries at weddings.
Though usually it's not until the wedding starts These flameless fireworks look even better than flowers! Attention, everypony! Our friends have done it! They defeated the bugbear! Hey.
Hello.
So, uh, you didn't happen to mention our earlier conversation about my secret identity to anypony, did you? No.
I did not.
And you're not the only one with a secret, y'know.
You know those expensive, imported oats you were saving for a 'special occasion'? I cooked them all and ate them! All of them! Oohoo! It's sort of thrilling to reveal your deepest, darkest secrets! That's what best friends are for.
Next time, you can just bring your own gift, and I'll bring mine.
Fine.
There you are! My suit has vanished and this was the only thing left in my closet! How do I look? Like a million bits! Great whickering stallions, look at the time! We'd better get inside.
Allons-y! I can't believe I lost my hair! I look ridiculous.
The love of my life deserves better than this! Have no fear, Cranky my dear, it's Steven Magnet's moustache to the rescue! Aw, thanks, buddy.
Oh, no problem.
Now you get in there and marry that donkey! Well, is everypony here? All set, Mayor! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join these two in matrimony.
As I look around this room, I can only imagine how uncomfortable Cranky must be.
But I also see so many ponies from all trots of life, brought together by love.
Cranky searched all across this great land of ours to find Matilda, and no matter what obstacles kept them apart, love would finally bring them together, just as it has brought all of us together now.
It's remarkle to me, how a story like Cranky's search for Matilda could fill this room with such a unique collection of ponies! It makes you realize that everypony is the star of their own story, and it's not just the main characters in our stories that make life so rich! It's everypony, those who play big parts, and those who play small.
If it weren't for everypony in this room, and many more who couldn't be here today, Cranky and Matilda's lives wouldn't be as full and vibrant as they are.
And so, in front of all these loved ones Cranky, do you take this donkey to be your lawfully wedded wife? You bet I do! And do you, Matilda, take this donkey to be your lawfully wedded husband? I do! Then I'm proud to say, I now pronounce you jack and jenny! Of course! They need love to ignite! How could I have missed it?! You know something, girls? We are so lucky to live in this town.
I love you all! Ow! That's where the bugbear bit me! Sorry! OmegaBowser OmegaBowser Misc: GoFish