My Next Guest Needs No Introduction with David Letterman (2018) s03e01 Episode Script
Kim Kardashian West
[playful music playing]
[Kim] I haven't been in a store like this
in a really long time.
[David] I love CVS.
I come to CVS
'cause I used to have a TV show,
and it makes me feel--
Just a minute. Hey, hold it.
-Here, look. It's like we're on TV.
-Yeah.
Hi, everybody. We'll be right back.
[theme music playing]
[announcer]
Ladies and gentlemen, David Letterman.
[cheering, clapping]
How are you?
Thank you so very much. Thank you. Please.
Nice to see you folks.
Anybody been here before?
This is our second time at the Alex.
You were here before, ma'am?
Oh, here come the latecomers.
Oh, for chrissake.
The showtime's not on the tickets?
Just have a seat.
[cheering, clapping]
[chuckles]
All right, stop looking at 'em.
[laughing]
So, the great thing
about being a part of this series
is learning stuff
I have not heretofore known much about.
And there's a lot
to be learned here tonight,
and I'm very excited
and just a little trepidatious.
So, ladies and gentlemen, do me a favor,
welcome Kimberly Noel Kardashian West.
[cheering, clapping]
[Kim] Hi.
[cheering, clapping continues]
Hi!
-Thank you for having me.
-Thank you very much for being here.
-How are you?
-I'm good.
Did you do that?
-The braid?
-Yeah.
No.
No, no, I don't know how to do hair.
Did someone do that, though?
Someone cut their hair off
and provided it, the long braid.
And then, like, two-faced tape?
No, it has, like, a hook in it,
and you kind of glue it around.
-No!
-[Kim] Yeah, it takes--
And my real hair is,
like, braided into it.
Whoa!
[crowd laughing]
It's remarkable, but now I've got nothing
but different questions.
First of all, is it legal?
It is legal, yeah.
Can I ask you
what an item like that'll run you?
Well, I believe that I did
an Instagram post in exchange for it.
[laughing]
Wow.
[audience cheering, clapping]
For a lifetime of hair,
one Instagram post.
So, we're looking at probably,
what is that?
A quarter of a million dollars
we're looking at?
[audience laughing]
Just kidding. Just kidding.
I don't really talk money.
I think it's, like, really, sometimes,
like, just inappropriate.
But what can I do
for a lifetime supply of hair?
-It looks like you got a lot. You're good.
-Oh, yeah, I keep forgetting about this.
-I could always move it around.
-You're good.
-It's like I'm growing my own supply.
-If only it was that easy.
Um, years and years ago, I,
and I think I was not alone about this,
probably made jokes
about you and your show.
Because I didn't know.
And that's what I got paid to do,
was make jokes about stuff.
-Everybody did.
-[Kim] Yeah.
Well, here we are,
and we're not laughing now.
-Because the success…
-Yeah. Yes, yes.
[audience clapping, cheering]
Uh, and then, the other thing,
that being famous for being famous,
that never squared with me
because it's a television show,
and being one of the stars
of that television show…
if you didn't have a certain star quality,
that show would not have succeeded.
You wouldn't be on the air right now.
Somebody else would have it.
So, the notion of fame for being famous,
I always thought was hollow.
-I never bought that.
-Yeah.
I never really got that, either,
'cause I always thought…
I mean, acting is so hard,
and I can't do that.
But, like, that's a character.
So, if someone doesn't like
that movie and that character,
that's okay.
But people have to like us for us.
To me, that was a harder job,
is, "How do you share your life?"
-You have to succeed as yourself, yeah.
-As yourself.
We made a pact from the start.
Like, we gotta show everything,
and we gotta be ourselves.
What's really different
about our situation is,
usually, in a family,
it's one person
kind of comes up in the business,
but I got to experience everything
with every single family member,
at the same time.
If the E! Network sent us
on a trip all around the world,
and, you know, we were there together…
I worked for CBS for 20 years,
they never sent me anywhere.
[laughing]
[audience clapping]
I'm twice your age.
I don't think I need
to call attention to that.
[audience laughing]
But-- And the things
that have been your life…
there may be seven,
eight, nine, ten of them
that any one would fill a single life.
Your father was an attorney
but was not practicing.
[Kim] He was in the music business,
and then he reinstated
his law degree for his friend, for OJ,
to do that case, and, um--
I'm gonna interrupt you right here.
He-- OJ was your godfather.
Very close friend. Like, Uncle OJ.
Okay, he's not your godfather,
he's Uncle OJ.
Your father's best friend.
-Your mother was best friends with Nicole.
-[Kim] Yeah, so…
Yes. The week before that happened,
we were all in Mexico together
at a family trip,
the Simpsons and us,
and then this happening
was kind of unimaginable.
But then, having…
your dad take one side,
and your mom take
the complete opposite side…
I mean, I remember answering the phone.
It was dinnertime,
and we were all sitting down,
and I answered the phone,
and it was a call from jail.
And it was OJ,
and I handed my mom the phone
'cause he wanted to speak to her.
And I just remember them getting into it.
So, you know, my mom
was extremely vocal on her feelings.
-What did she think or feel?
-[Kim] You know, she was--
Believed that…
you know, her friend was murdered by him.
And that was really traumatizing for her.
Then, we'd go to my dad's house,
and it was a whole other situation there.
And it would be, like, Johnnie Cochran,
Bob Shapiro, my dad, like, the whole team.
So, we didn't really know what to believe
or whose side to take as kids,
'cause we didn't wanna hurt
one of our parents' feelings.
And my dad took us
to court one day with him,
and he took us out of school
and didn't tell my mom.
And I remember my mom
was sitting with Nicole's parents,
and Kourtney and I
were sitting right behind OJ.
And we look over at my mom,
and she's giving us this death stare.
Like, "What are you doing out of school?
What are you doing here?"
And Kourtney and I were like,
"Just look straight. Do not look at Mom."
[laughing]
It kind of tore our family apart,
I'd say, for the whole time of the trial.
And you're 13, and this happens?
[Kim] Yeah, 13, 14.
I mean, I vividly remember staying home
from school to watch the verdict,
and then my Dad called us afterwards
and was like,
"Oh, my God. Okay, meet us at Uncle OJ's.
We're all gonna go over there."
And Kourtney and I went there.
And, well, I guess I just said I was 14,
but my dad let me drive at that time.
[crowd laughing]
And I pulled up to the gate
on my way home,
and there was all these cameras outside.
And then, that night on Hard Copy,
it said, "Robert Kardashian's mistress
pulling up to his house."
And I was like, "Oh, my God."
Like, I couldn't believe it
that they were making this stuff up.
And that was, like,
my first real lesson with the media.
One can't help but recall
the tragedy of the lives that were ended,
and the families of the people.
Do you have any feelings
about his guilt or innocence now?
You know, I've never expressed
how I've felt about that
because I just respect his children.
So, if I were to say something
that would hurt
someone's feelings publicly,
unless they're coming for me,
and I have to defend myself
or a family member, then I'm aware.
[audience clapping, cheering]
How old were you
when your father passed away?
Twenty-two.
Twenty-two.
And that, of course, rocked you?
-Absolutely.
-Changed everything.
Yeah. I worked for him in his office,
and I learned so much from him.
Your father's an attorney,
and now you're going to law school.
Is it too simplistic
to make this connection?
It's just interesting.
I-- The connection to my dad is obvious,
but we grew up
in a really blessed lifestyle
in Beverly Hills.
We had an amazing life,
and, before,
I was really oblivious
to other people's problems.
And then,
I saw this tweet of Alice Johnson,
and the simplicity of the fact
that someone that did their first offense,
a low-level drug offense,
got the same sentence as Charles Manson…
-It just didn't make sense to me.
-This was not a violent crime.
And she got life.
And it was extremely important to me…
to shed light on it.
[reporter] Kim Kardashian West
arriving at the White House Wednesday.
A high-wattage West Wing meeting
that just two years ago,
I think most Americans would agree
they never imagined they'd see.
President Trump has fast-tracked
a convicted drug offender
to freedom today,
commuting the life sentence
of an Alabama great-grandmother,
after a face-to-face appeal
from Kim Kardashian.
Do you suddenly
get contacted from every person
in every prison
in every state of the country?
-Pretty much, yeah.
-[audience chuckling]
So, we're talking now
about sentencing reform.
I don't wanna rely
on having to bring a plus one,
an attorney with me everywhere I go,
'cause I don't know
the ins and outs of the laws.
I wanna figure this out myself.
Are you in a law school?
You're not in a law school?
So, it's called Reading the Law,
and it's in California.
There's four states that do it this way.
Abraham Lincoln did it this way, famously.
Um, so, it's legit.
I think sometimes people think,
like, at home,
you're just at home, you know,
but you have to spend
almost 20 hours a week in an office,
with attorneys
that do this apprenticeship with you,
teach you about the law
from, you know, torts
to civil procedure to, you know,
you have to learn everything.
And then, after year one, you have to take
a one-day version of the bar,
which is called the baby bar,
and you have to pass that.
You've got your time pretty well budgeted
for the next four, five years.
[Kim] Yes.
[soft music playing]
When you take this law test, you're
allowed to bring in a list of items.
-Specific things, yes.
-Okay.
If you know what they are--
[grunts]
I'm all right! I'm all--
Thank you. Everything's fine.
I like to come in here…
uh, and announce
that I have medical trouble.
Like, if I saw somebody
in the pharmacy, I would say,
"I have these angry,
red boils full of pus."
-"Do you have any cream for that?"
-[chuckling]
And pretty much, then,
I have the store to myself.
I need the absolute perfect pen.
I know that sounds crazy.
Some are more inky.
I'm gonna open all of these.
-It's hard--
-Bust 'em open. Let's try.
It is not my stuff.
How long is the examination gonna be?
[Kim] It's one day.
So, it's gonna take time.
I've had dreams like this,
where Kim Kardashian
and I are sitting
on the floor in a drug store.
I've had-- it's a recurring dream.
It's gonna take hours,
and hours, and hours.
-The test?
-Yeah, it's like a ten-hour test.
So, it needs to be
the perfect pen in my hands.
-You want me to open some of these?
-[Kim] Yes, please.
-I'm gonna just write your name.
-[David] Well, that's very sweet.
You wanna-- Just try this one.
That may be the same.
No, it's not. I can already tell.
-[gasps] See how that's inky like that?
-Oh, it smudges.
Okay, wait. These are the kind of pens
I like. What is the difference?
What about batteries? You need batteries?
-[Kim] I don't think we need batteries.
-You always need batteries.
Or, no, I don't like a gel roller.
[David] Heads up.
Stand clear. Look out.
The other one feels a bit bolder,
and I think I'm gonna go for more bold.
[David] Shopping for pens.
Let's get our blood pressure taken.
You want to?
-[Kim] Do we think it's clean, though?
-No.
-I can guarantee it's not clean.
-[Kim] Yeah.
-What is happening?
-You got anything?
You busted the machine.
Can we have some help
with the sphygmomanometer?
-Oh, here is!
-[Kim] There we go. Is that good?
Yes.
Oh, now your pulse rate is a little high.
-I attribute that to me.
-Really?
-Plus, you're excited about being on TV.
-[Kim] Totally.
[David] Have we got anything of use?
-I'm just gonna get some Old Spice.
-[Kim] Go for it.
[David] Look at this.
Six hundred and twenty-five Q-tips
for five bucks. Are you kidding me?
[over PA system] Attention CVS shoppers,
today is free Q-tip day!
Be sure to stop
by our giant barrel of Q-tips.
[tapping]
[Kim]
But the best part of a CVS is the candy.
[David] You read my mind.
-Oh, my God.
-Kids love bath bombs.
I'm literally shopping away.
That's the whole point.
We're here because we're Americans.
[David] Now, are we getting anything
that you are gonna need?
We need a travel clock.
-[David] When is the exam?
-[Kim] End of June.
So, I'm taking off
six weeks to really focus.
The clock can only be two by two.
Perfect. Good.
How many of these tests
have you taken so far?
I do a lot of practice tests,
but I've never done one like that.
So, this would be your first actual,
on the record, here we go.
-Yes.
-Well, good luck.
-I wish you all the best.
-Thank you.
[David] What do you want for yourself,
for your family in ten years?
What do you want that to look like?
What will you do?
Hopefully for, you know,
the next multiple administrations,
I will be working with the White House,
helping them with clemencies.
But do you feel that what is being done
on behalf of sentencing reform now
via this current administration,
in any way allows the balance of democracy
back in a corridor of viability?
Well, I have no idea
what you just said. [laughing]
[audience laughing, clapping]
Thank you. Thank you very much.
-I'm not sure, either.
-I'm not done with law school yet.
I'll try it again. I am--
I'm grateful for what you're doing.
But it doesn't make me feel any better
about the current administration.
I understand that.
What-- Now, let me ask you.
Who are you voting for?
[audience laughing]
I know who I'm voting for.
[Kim chuckles]
Trust me, everyone called me and said,
"Don't you dare
step foot in that White House,
or your reputation is done."
And I said, "I have to step foot in there,
or these people's lives
don't have a chance."
-So, it's a life over my reputation?
-[David] Right.
Like, to me…
But, see, your good work is overwhelming.
Uh, it's a positive force
that diminishes what I consider to be
unacceptable behavior by the president.
I-- I'm extremely focused,
and I truly am grateful
for this administration,
for the work
that they've done in prison reform.
So, I'll give props where props are due,
and I'll stay focused
on what I know I can get done.
And, um, that's all I can do.
-Why don't I feel like that?
-[chuckling]
Am I--
I'm not as good a person as you, maybe?
-I think, I mean--
-I'll be quiet now.
[giggles]
Uh, it's so nice of you
to give up your time
because I know
you're a busy, powerful woman,
and you have four kids
under the age of…
-Six.
-Six.
What is that like, for heaven's sakes?
How are the kids now?
It's the most magical, wild, and fun,
and the best, hectic feeling.
It's like exactly
how I remember growing up.
Is-- My little experience here,
that you have I have in common
with every parent in the world
is you can't imagine
the constellation of concern and anxiety
one has about their kids.
-Yeah.
-[David] It's never-ending.
But it is so much fun that you're willing
to put everything else to the back of it.
Absolutely. I think when you become a mom,
you just-- You think of everything.
I mean, especially nowadays.
Like, you know,
"Are they okay at school
and getting along with everyone?"
We just took our daughter
to a school dance,
and there's a dance competition,
and, you know,
"How will she feel if she wins.
How will she feel if she doesn't win?"
And it consumes you so much.
How did she do at the dance competition?
Her and Kanye have won,
I think, the last two years in a row.
-So, they--
-Well now, wait, wait a minute
[laughing]
-It's a daughter-father dance competition?
-[Kim] Yes.
-It's-- Yes.
-Oh.
But they practiced.
They came up with this whole dance,
and they have their moves.
Well, that takes
the worry out of it a little bit.
-Doesn't it?
-Yes.
By the way,
take me through the entire family.
-Let's go. Everybody.
-Grandkids too?
Everybody you have.
-Youngest to oldest?
-In any order.
-How would I know?
-[Kim] Okay.
[giggling]
So, I have Psalm, who's eight months,
Chicago, who's two, Saint, who's four,
North, who's six, me, who's 39, Kanye.
And then, there's Kourtney…
[audience laughing]
People are lost already.
Scott, their kids,
Mason, Penelope, and Reign.
And then, there's Khloé,
and she has a daughter, True.
And then, we have Rob,
and he has a daughter named Dream.
And then, there's Kendall,
who has no kids.
And then Kylie, who has Stormi,
and then my mom, Kris,
and my grandmother, MJ.
I didn't hear Brody.
[chuckles]
And then, that's Caitlyn's kids.
She has Burt, Brandon, Brody, and Casey.
You mentioned Caitlyn Jenner,
who I knew as Bruce Jenner,
'76 Olympic decathlon gold medalist,
and as your stepfather.
And, now, it's Caitlyn Jenner.
What was that experience?
Well, Bruce was the best stepdad.
He-- It was amazing.
And then, when I was 26 years old,
my mom was out of town,
and I was living with them,
and…
walked in the garage,
and Bruce was dressed fully as a woman,
with a wig, and makeup,
and a dress, and heels, and clothes.
This is the first time
you had witnessed this?
Yes.
And I walked right past her…
into my room, packed a bag so fast,
and called Kourtney, and was like,
"I have to come over to your house."
And she said,
"Oh, my God, you caught Bruce cheating?"
And I said, "I wish."
-"Like, I'll see you soon."
-[audience laughing]
And I drove over there,
and we had a computer,
and we were looking up, like,
"What does this mean?"
And the only thing that we found online
was an Oprah episode…
on a transgender woman.
And we still couldn't
really understand what it meant.
And then, Bruce called my phone and said,
"Whenever you're ready,
I'd love to sit you down and talk to you,
but, in the meantime, don't tell a soul."
"Your mom has no idea,
and she will kill me."
It was just a little confusing,
'cause we all
wanted to be there in support of,
but then also wanting to support our mom,
who this is news to,
married to someone for 22 years.
Her heart is broken,
and they have children,
and it was just a lot
when you kind of find out
along with the whole world.
But I remember
when I turned 30 years old,
Caitlyn came over. She said,
"I felt these feelings as a kid,
from four years old."
And only recently
was she okay to be more like herself.
But think about that.
I don't know how old she was,
but to have been uncomfortable
up to that point,
you wouldn't wish that life on anybody.
But I do feel
like she helped break barriers
and helped break that door open
for people that didn't really understand.
The courage and the guts,
and then I know this from…
um…
my participation
at where my son goes to school.
And the education about this now,
uh, is light years ahead of what it was
when you were in school,
and, of course, when I was that age,
they didn't have schools, but, uh…
-[chuckles]
-So, that's encouraging, and--
Yeah.
And it's to her credit that, you know,
she's helped
with this educational process.
[audience clapping]
I mean, going back to my original premise,
when you were a kid, and Keeping Up
with the Kardashians was beginning,
uh, there was a video released.
I don't know if it was a crime,
but certainly a violation.
Yeah.
That must have been
very, very hurtful to you.
-Uh…
-And embarrassing.
-I don't know, it seemed like--
-[Kim] I was in my early 20s.
I think everyone makes stupid choices
and decisions when they're that young.
You didn't do anything wrong
as far as I'm concerned.
Uh… this was an attack on you,
and you've survived it, so…
Yeah, I think just having,
again, like, my family,
and even my grandma--
Like, I was so upset
when that was happening,
and I had my grandma there.
And talking to her about it, and my mom,
and everyone just really supported me.
And that meant everything to me.
-Mm-hm.
-[Kim] And that is from day one,
when we had our first,
big public… scandal.
That is how we always
got through things, is with each other.
I have my family,
and that's all that matters.
But when I was that age, the list
of embarrassing things that I did,
a thousand times greater
than you will experience in your lifetime.
Because I was just a dope.
-[audience laughing]
-[David] And I was always drunk.
So, I was doing stupid,
drunk things all the time.
And if I knew, or had an inkling,
that the people around me
were not trustworthy
which is what happened in this case…
[Kim] Yeah.
…it would be crushing.
But imagine living today,
where everyone has a phone,
everyone has a camera.
You literally can't even
stuff your face with food
without people taking crazy,
embarrassing pictures.
And I've never seen myself naked.
[laughing]
[upbeat hip-hop playing]
Hey, guys.
Okay, guys.
I'm gonna contour and highlight.
Put some outfits together
just so you'll see.
I love the brown color.
I would wear the brown.
I'm gonna give you guys
a tour of my fridge.
Bye, Choo-choo.
You guys love your outfits
I got from Wyoming?
Yeah.
You're a great social media success.
The Instagram numbers are frightening.
They're frightening.
And it's like a full-time job
for you, isn't it?
-It is.
-How often do you appear on Instagram?
At least once a day.
We were, like,
at the beginning of the transition
from, like, regular media,
and how you would have
to do things to social media.
But, like,
I love that I had the experience
of the days when we would have
to do Leno and Letterman.
-I remember--
-Have to do.
-Not have to do. It was an honor to do.
-[chuckles]
No, but if you wanted to talk about
a product and get it out,
you'd have to do interviews…
But what's fascinating to me
about that is that's my world,
and those numbers
compared to your Instagram account numbers
are minuscule.
I hope, hope, hope
you don't take offense to this,
but I was telling Kendall and Kylie, like,
"Oh, I'm gonna go do Letterman,"
and they were like, "Who? What?"
-Like, like…
-[audience laughing]
Like, they literally only do
social media stuff.
And that to me was like, "What?"
It was so fascinating.
[chuckling]
A month ago, I nearly choked to death.
[laughing]
[audience clapping]
[audience cheering]
[soft music playing]
You know the Instagram deal.
Yes.
How many followers
do you have on the Instagram?
-162 million.
-[David] 162 million.
If you put these nail clippers
on the Instagram, boom.
-Would they explode and go everywhere?
-[Kim] They might.
You know, I just opened
my Instagram account.
-You did?
-[David] Yeah.
And I'm following one person,
and it's you.
-No way.
-Can I have my phone, please?
Just toss it over.
-[Kim] You have Instagram.
-Here, toss it over again.
-[thuds]
-Oh, Jesus. [chuckles]
-I'm a really good catcher.
-Toss me my phone.
-Huh! [laughs]
-[Kim] Oh!
-Here, I'll toss it to you.
-We're like idiots at a baseball game.
How do I get my Instagram up there?
What is this? And why do you have…
[David] This is--
…the Christmas present around your phone?
Is this your real phone?
-[David] Yeah.
-This can't be.
Why is your phone like this?
Is it like a prop?
-No, it's-- I-- I'm-- I'm creative.
-No.
If you want a selfie, you have to--
The old-fashioned way.
Hello. Hi.
-Are you sure?
-I don't know.
No, there's, like,
a button here that I can't get to.
[shutter clicking]
Okay, let's see.
-Look, look, Kim. [chuckles]
-There you go.
That's pathetic.
-Yeah, it is.
-It looks-- [chuckles]
-It is.
-Easy to agree, thanks.
Like, I just can't understand.
-See the difference with the lighting?
-There we are.
[shutter clicking]
-That's great.
-Then I'll AirDrop it to you.
Do you know what AirDrop is?
-Sure.
-[Kim] Okay.
Oh, my gosh, you do follow me.
[chuckling]
Uh, oh, boy.
I wanna tell people,
"Just swallowed a battery. Thoughts?"
Here's what I don't want.
I don't want people hating it.
Yeah.
I don't want haters.
Okay.
You try it.
To tell people I just swallowed a battery?
-[David] Yeah.
-On my Instagram?
[David] See what happens.
-Will be good.
-It'll be on Instagram stories.
Yeah.
-Hey, guys.
-Hey, guys. Should I be in it or not?
-You can.
-[David] Okay.
-Hey, guys.
-Hi.
One of us swallowed a battery.
We're at CVS. Who do you think it is?
Just swallowed a battery.
It was a double-A.
Is that gonna be a problem medically?
I don't know.
But we're here, we can ask the pharmacist.
[David] That's right.
We'll go to the pharmacy.
-[Kim] Hey, guys.
-[David] Hey, guys.
Should I be in it or not?
-[Kim] You can.
-I love this.
Oh, here. See? Do you know these days
you can take your own passport picture?
Your phone leaves
like, this Grinch-y green thing.
I used to have a TV show.
I was on every night,
and I had about 300 followers,
but they were audience members.
Now, is-- That's like viral, right?
I'm worried that if kids
are hooked on the social media,
it will ruin their ability
to stare mindlessly at television all day.
Do you ever endorse stuff that you don't
care about, just for the fun of it?
No, I used to all the time.
I would-- I was, like, very contradictory.
Endorsing a weight loss supplement,
and then…
Carl's Jr.
-I would do, like, at the same time.
-[laughing]
-It was very-- I was--
-[David] Wow.
I'm keeping this one.
-We still have to write your caption.
-Yeah, my caption.
"Help, I swallowed a battery."
Put that up and see
how soon we get an ambulance over here.
-Do you think it's too late for me?
-In all honesty, a bit.
[laughing]
Just because-- Just because I don't think
you would keep up with Instagram.
So, that's why I'm--
To me, you know, it's a lot of work
to keep this thing going.
It is. Is this real?
Like, is this really your phone?
-Like, I can't--
-Look at me.
-There's no way to do certain letters.
-[David] Wait. Now I can't even--
-You lost the thing.
-[Kim] Okay.
Zero likes.
[David chuckles]
Somebody broke my damn phone.
Today, you can launch a whole brand--
That's right,
which is what you did with the Skims.
-Yes.
-I'll be honest with you.
Up until, like, a month ago, uh…
the idea of shapewear, I don't know.
I didn't. And I'm still-- But I didn't.
I'd never heard of it.
And then somebody said, "Spanx?"
And I said, "No, no Spanx."
[laughing]
But you go on your Instagram deal and say,
"Uh, guess what, kids?
Shapewear for everybody."
[upbeat music playing]
[cheering]
Thank you, guys, so much for coming out.
[man] You're welcome!
[David] And within a minute,
like, four million things
of shapewear have been sold.
Is that what happens?
-Basically.
-Whoa!
[laughing]
Wow.
[clapping]
Let me give you a little story
from my own life.
Recently, my son and I are snow skiing,
and we're a hundred miles from the lodge.
And I have long underwear on.
And I'm at an age where I might have to…
Go to the bathroom.
Yeah.
[audience laughing]
It's virtually impossible.
Has that issue been addressed?
[laughing]
Well, for women,
we are just launching shapewear
with a pee hole.
[audience cheering]
-It is coming by the time this is out.
-Well, come on, let's hear it, really!
[cheering, clapping intensifies]
But I will say,
the testing of how big or small
-the pee hole has to be…
-Okay!
[audience cheering]
[Kim] …was a very interesting experience--
I'll bet it was.
[laughing]
[clapping]
[reporter 1] Kardashian, in Paris last
October for Fashion Week with her sisters,
had ten million dollars in jewelry stolen.
[reporter 2] How's she doing?
[David] You're in Paris. Um…
There's a robbery.
And to say "robbery"
is to diminish
the nightmare of what that was.
Yeah.
-You thought you were going to die.
-I did.
How long ago was this? Three years?
It was three years ago,
and it was Fashion Week.
I packed all of my jewelry.
I've never done that before.
I put everything
that I owned in a jewelry box,
and I brought it with me,
thinking I'm gonna--
"We're in Paris.
I have to bring the best of the best."
And the week before,
Kanye had bought me a new ring.
And I was really excited and proud of it,
and I videoed it
and was showing it off on social media.
Um, Kanye flew in
because he didn't like my outfit,
and so he flew in to style me.
[David] Now, Kanye flew in from where?
From tour, in the United States.
-I don't even remember.
-Somewhere.
-Boise. He was in Boise.
-[Kim] Yes.
Ida-- Yeah, Boise.
-He got wind of your outfit--
-He saw a picture of my outfit.
And he said, "I'm on the next flight."
[laughing]
And…
[clapping]
[David]
I mean, come on! Ladies and gentlemen…
if that isn't true love…
Um, so, then, what happens?
[Kim] What was so interesting is me,
and Kourtney, and Stephanie, and Simone,
we had lunch.
Me and my girlfriends,
we had lunch that day…
and said, "If you guys were robbed,
what would you do?"
"Would you just give them the stuff?"
Why we had this conversation?
It was so wild.
And I said, "I would say,
'Take everything. Just take everything.'"
Nothing is important.
And then, that night,
Kayne had left 'cause he still--
He had his tour.
Kourtney had left to go out to a club.
And at that time, you know,
we traveled with our one security guard.
And I said, "Well, you bring the security
'cause you're going out. I'm in."
And then, at about three in the morning,
I hear this, like, stomping up the stairs.
And I thought Kourtney
and my friend Stephanie came home drunk
and were being really loud and obnoxious.
And I just yelled for them a few times.
And I realized
they're not responding to me.
Immediate panic.
I knew someone was there.
Like, someone was there to get me.
I-- I-- You feel it.
I grabbed my phone to call 91--
I couldn't figure out
how to call 911 in France.
That's not the number, you know?
-So…
-They're using French numbers.
[Kim] So I call my security guard,
but the doors open right away,
and it's policemen.
So I thought. They grabbed my phone…
and took it,
or I think they took it with them.
The robbers are dressed as policemen.
-Is that what I infer here?
-[Kim] Yeah.
-Yeah, policemen with masks on.
-How many were in the room with you?
-Two.
-Just the two.
But they brought in the concierge
from downstairs, handcuffed.
With a gun up to him.
So, they were speaking,
yelling at me in French.
And I just sat up and…
And I--
They kept on saying, "The ring. The ring."
And I was just so startled,
I was like, you know, "What?"
It didn't compute to me for a minute.
And then, the guy goes, "The ring."
And I had put it up by the side of my bed.
So, I handed him my ring,
and then he grabs me,
and I was wearing a robe,
and I wasn't wearing anything under it.
-[whispers] I don't wanna cry.
-[David] Oh, no, no, no, no.
We all right?
I don't wanna ruin my makeup.
[audience laughing]
It's fine. The makeup is fine.
Okay. [sniffs]
And, um, he grabbed me
and pulled me towards him.
But I wasn't wearing anything underneath,
I was like, "Okay, this is the time
I'm gonna get raped."
"Like, just deal, like, it's--
This is-- it's gonna happen."
You know? Like…
"Just prepare yourself."
So, I did, and then…
I don't know why I'm crying.
I've talked about this before.
Um…
But then he tied me up with handcuffs,
and then zip ties, and then duct tape.
And then duct-taped
my mouth and my eyes.
And before he had my eyes,
he had-- I saw--
I mean, before he duct-taped my eyes,
'cause that was the last thing, he…
I saw he found my whole jewelry box,
and, like, held it up, like, "Aha!"
Like, "We got it."
But I kept on looking at the concierge,
'cause I didn't know who he was.
I'm like, "What is happening?
Are we gonna die?"
"Just tell them I have children."
"I have babies.
I have a husband. I have a family."
"Like, I have to get home."
"Tell them, 'Take anything.'
I'll never say, like, I saw them."
"Like, take everything." [sniffs]
And then…
um… [sniffs]
And then, I saw him have a gun out to me,
and I was like, "Okay, this is it."
I just kept on thinking about Kourtney.
I kept on thinking she's gonna come home,
and I'm gonna be dead in the room,
and she's never gonna--
She's gonna be traumatized
for the rest of her life if she sees me.
We're sharing a room. Like, on her bed.
But I thought that was my fate.
And then, the guy pick--
He kept on whispering to me,
like, "You okay. You okay."
Like this one guy.
The guy that didn't have the gun.
Just like, "Shh. If you shh, you okay."
And he could hardly speak English,
but I was like,
"Okay, he's, like--
Is he giving me a signal?"
So much goes through your head.
And I've watched
every single CSI show on the planet.
And so,
for one split second, I'm like,
"Look into his eyes.
What color eyes and hair do you have?
Like you're trying to do
what you're supposed to do,
and it all goes out the door.
Like, it all goes out the door, and…
[sniffs]
He picked me up,
and he put me in a bathtub.
Then he picked me up again,
and just put me on the floor and ran.
[reporter]
Detectives busting into a Paris apartment
and raiding a French country house.
Seventeen arrested this week,
most of the suspects
in their 50s, one in his 70s.
[Kim]
Since people have been arrested for it,
and I get to read their confessions now,
and so had realized
that they had been following me
for two years
leading up until this moment.
-The robbers?
-[Kim] Yes.
I didn't know
that they had someone at the elevator,
someone at the front,
someone that moved the camera,
someone that broke the door,
someone in the getaway car.
Like, there was a whole team
of people that had planned this.
So, this was not just a,
"Let's see if we could--"
They said they tried it the last trip,
but Kanye was there,
and they were too scared.
And then, they said
they saw on social media…
that I had this huge, new ring.
-Um…
-What-- And I…
I don't steal jewelry.
-And I've never--
-That's good.
[David] I've never been robbed of jewelry.
It seems to me like stuff at this level
would be pretty hard to get rid of.
-Do you know how much was--
-You would think that.
But I'm sure it was sold
on the black market.
But they did do a huge sting operation,
and everyone is in prison awaiting trial.
[clapping]
Now, how long did it take,
because there's a certain…
not a certain measure,
a definite measure, of shock, and fear,
and post-traumatic circumstances
that one goes through.
And you're known around the world
in numbers on social media
that are staggering.
I definitely took a year
where I got really…
paranoid of people knowing my whereabouts.
I didn't even want to go to a restaurant
because I thought,
"Someone will know I'm at this restaurant,
they'll take a picture, send it."
"They'll know my house is open.
They know that my kids are there."
I was just…
really scared of everything.
Like, I can't sleep at night
unless there's…
half a dozen security guards at my house.
And that has just become my reality,
and that's okay.
Well, is it--
The question is, "Is it okay?"
It's not okay if it was me.
Besides that little cry session,
I'm totally fine.
[audience laughs]
I really am.
I remember calling
all my sisters from the car.
We were on a conference call. I said,
"Guys, just thank God that was me."
"I am very mentally strong,
and that would have fucked
all of your lives up
for the rest of your life."
[audience laughing]
You're just fine without whatever it is
you lost, and thank God you're alive.
Thank God your children
know their mother, and on and on.
Um…
Did somebody tell you
it was okay to say "fuck" up here?
Sorry, no.
[audience laughing]
Nobody said--
It's Netflix, right?
Yeah, but they told me don't--
Whatever you say, don't say fuck.
[audience laughing]
Um, okay…
Um…
It's my favorite of the bad words.
So, Kanye, who I know a little bit,
and tremendous energy, this kid,
and tremendous intellect.
And who's making more money?
[audience laughing]
Him, probably.
-Probably?
-[Kim] Probably.
How close are we?
[audience chuckling]
We're exactly even.
[chuckling]
Well, good.
We both are really blessed
and do extremely well.
And I'm really grateful.
[crowd clapping]
Could you have done all of this,
everything that you've done…
Could you have done it
if you were from Cincinnati?
Could it have happened that way?
Could you have done it
without Keeping Up with the Kardashians?
Could you have done it without working
for Paris Hilton as a stylist?
I don't know what a stylist is.
I don't know how you get that job.
No matter how much our lives
have transcended
beyond the show and filming,
that show is us.
I feel like for so many years,
we tried to prove, like, we're cool.
We wanna be famous. We want this,
but, now, the show shows we're normal.
We're just like a regular family.
And it's like the--
It's, like, totally flipped.
Now, I have many things to say here.
First of all, I just recently looked
at video of your total normal family.
You took us on a tour
of your 18 refrigerators.
[laughing]
And I said to myself,
"This is not a normal family."
But they came up with us,
they saw when I could hardly afford
my rent to my condo.
We would not be who we are today
without Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
And that's why we continue
to share our lives, even if…
realistically,
if we can post something on social media
and make more than we do a whole season.
That's who we are,
and it brings us together as a family.
Through all of these disappointments,
heartaches,
um, you have come out
on the right side of everything.
And congratulations
on everything you achieved
and surviving just a remarkable life.
And I hope things
are going nothing but straight up for you.
-Thank you.
-God bless you.
-Thank you so much.
-Thank you.
[cheering, clapping]
[whooping]
[David] Have a nice day.
It's a great honor. Pleasure.
Thank you so much. Give my best to Kanye.
-Thank you, I will.
-Thank you.
-[Kim] Thank you so much.
-Kim Kardashian, ladies and gentlemen.
[cheering, clapping continues]
[David] Look, what is this?
Earbud with mic?
What are we talking about?
Oh…
What is that?
-For your phone.
-[David] Oh.
But I don't think
that'll connect to your phone.
[chuckles]
[theme music playing]
[Kim] I haven't been in a store like this
in a really long time.
[David] I love CVS.
I come to CVS
'cause I used to have a TV show,
and it makes me feel--
Just a minute. Hey, hold it.
-Here, look. It's like we're on TV.
-Yeah.
Hi, everybody. We'll be right back.
[theme music playing]
[announcer]
Ladies and gentlemen, David Letterman.
[cheering, clapping]
How are you?
Thank you so very much. Thank you. Please.
Nice to see you folks.
Anybody been here before?
This is our second time at the Alex.
You were here before, ma'am?
Oh, here come the latecomers.
Oh, for chrissake.
The showtime's not on the tickets?
Just have a seat.
[cheering, clapping]
[chuckles]
All right, stop looking at 'em.
[laughing]
So, the great thing
about being a part of this series
is learning stuff
I have not heretofore known much about.
And there's a lot
to be learned here tonight,
and I'm very excited
and just a little trepidatious.
So, ladies and gentlemen, do me a favor,
welcome Kimberly Noel Kardashian West.
[cheering, clapping]
[Kim] Hi.
[cheering, clapping continues]
Hi!
-Thank you for having me.
-Thank you very much for being here.
-How are you?
-I'm good.
Did you do that?
-The braid?
-Yeah.
No.
No, no, I don't know how to do hair.
Did someone do that, though?
Someone cut their hair off
and provided it, the long braid.
And then, like, two-faced tape?
No, it has, like, a hook in it,
and you kind of glue it around.
-No!
-[Kim] Yeah, it takes--
And my real hair is,
like, braided into it.
Whoa!
[crowd laughing]
It's remarkable, but now I've got nothing
but different questions.
First of all, is it legal?
It is legal, yeah.
Can I ask you
what an item like that'll run you?
Well, I believe that I did
an Instagram post in exchange for it.
[laughing]
Wow.
[audience cheering, clapping]
For a lifetime of hair,
one Instagram post.
So, we're looking at probably,
what is that?
A quarter of a million dollars
we're looking at?
[audience laughing]
Just kidding. Just kidding.
I don't really talk money.
I think it's, like, really, sometimes,
like, just inappropriate.
But what can I do
for a lifetime supply of hair?
-It looks like you got a lot. You're good.
-Oh, yeah, I keep forgetting about this.
-I could always move it around.
-You're good.
-It's like I'm growing my own supply.
-If only it was that easy.
Um, years and years ago, I,
and I think I was not alone about this,
probably made jokes
about you and your show.
Because I didn't know.
And that's what I got paid to do,
was make jokes about stuff.
-Everybody did.
-[Kim] Yeah.
Well, here we are,
and we're not laughing now.
-Because the success…
-Yeah. Yes, yes.
[audience clapping, cheering]
Uh, and then, the other thing,
that being famous for being famous,
that never squared with me
because it's a television show,
and being one of the stars
of that television show…
if you didn't have a certain star quality,
that show would not have succeeded.
You wouldn't be on the air right now.
Somebody else would have it.
So, the notion of fame for being famous,
I always thought was hollow.
-I never bought that.
-Yeah.
I never really got that, either,
'cause I always thought…
I mean, acting is so hard,
and I can't do that.
But, like, that's a character.
So, if someone doesn't like
that movie and that character,
that's okay.
But people have to like us for us.
To me, that was a harder job,
is, "How do you share your life?"
-You have to succeed as yourself, yeah.
-As yourself.
We made a pact from the start.
Like, we gotta show everything,
and we gotta be ourselves.
What's really different
about our situation is,
usually, in a family,
it's one person
kind of comes up in the business,
but I got to experience everything
with every single family member,
at the same time.
If the E! Network sent us
on a trip all around the world,
and, you know, we were there together…
I worked for CBS for 20 years,
they never sent me anywhere.
[laughing]
[audience clapping]
I'm twice your age.
I don't think I need
to call attention to that.
[audience laughing]
But-- And the things
that have been your life…
there may be seven,
eight, nine, ten of them
that any one would fill a single life.
Your father was an attorney
but was not practicing.
[Kim] He was in the music business,
and then he reinstated
his law degree for his friend, for OJ,
to do that case, and, um--
I'm gonna interrupt you right here.
He-- OJ was your godfather.
Very close friend. Like, Uncle OJ.
Okay, he's not your godfather,
he's Uncle OJ.
Your father's best friend.
-Your mother was best friends with Nicole.
-[Kim] Yeah, so…
Yes. The week before that happened,
we were all in Mexico together
at a family trip,
the Simpsons and us,
and then this happening
was kind of unimaginable.
But then, having…
your dad take one side,
and your mom take
the complete opposite side…
I mean, I remember answering the phone.
It was dinnertime,
and we were all sitting down,
and I answered the phone,
and it was a call from jail.
And it was OJ,
and I handed my mom the phone
'cause he wanted to speak to her.
And I just remember them getting into it.
So, you know, my mom
was extremely vocal on her feelings.
-What did she think or feel?
-[Kim] You know, she was--
Believed that…
you know, her friend was murdered by him.
And that was really traumatizing for her.
Then, we'd go to my dad's house,
and it was a whole other situation there.
And it would be, like, Johnnie Cochran,
Bob Shapiro, my dad, like, the whole team.
So, we didn't really know what to believe
or whose side to take as kids,
'cause we didn't wanna hurt
one of our parents' feelings.
And my dad took us
to court one day with him,
and he took us out of school
and didn't tell my mom.
And I remember my mom
was sitting with Nicole's parents,
and Kourtney and I
were sitting right behind OJ.
And we look over at my mom,
and she's giving us this death stare.
Like, "What are you doing out of school?
What are you doing here?"
And Kourtney and I were like,
"Just look straight. Do not look at Mom."
[laughing]
It kind of tore our family apart,
I'd say, for the whole time of the trial.
And you're 13, and this happens?
[Kim] Yeah, 13, 14.
I mean, I vividly remember staying home
from school to watch the verdict,
and then my Dad called us afterwards
and was like,
"Oh, my God. Okay, meet us at Uncle OJ's.
We're all gonna go over there."
And Kourtney and I went there.
And, well, I guess I just said I was 14,
but my dad let me drive at that time.
[crowd laughing]
And I pulled up to the gate
on my way home,
and there was all these cameras outside.
And then, that night on Hard Copy,
it said, "Robert Kardashian's mistress
pulling up to his house."
And I was like, "Oh, my God."
Like, I couldn't believe it
that they were making this stuff up.
And that was, like,
my first real lesson with the media.
One can't help but recall
the tragedy of the lives that were ended,
and the families of the people.
Do you have any feelings
about his guilt or innocence now?
You know, I've never expressed
how I've felt about that
because I just respect his children.
So, if I were to say something
that would hurt
someone's feelings publicly,
unless they're coming for me,
and I have to defend myself
or a family member, then I'm aware.
[audience clapping, cheering]
How old were you
when your father passed away?
Twenty-two.
Twenty-two.
And that, of course, rocked you?
-Absolutely.
-Changed everything.
Yeah. I worked for him in his office,
and I learned so much from him.
Your father's an attorney,
and now you're going to law school.
Is it too simplistic
to make this connection?
It's just interesting.
I-- The connection to my dad is obvious,
but we grew up
in a really blessed lifestyle
in Beverly Hills.
We had an amazing life,
and, before,
I was really oblivious
to other people's problems.
And then,
I saw this tweet of Alice Johnson,
and the simplicity of the fact
that someone that did their first offense,
a low-level drug offense,
got the same sentence as Charles Manson…
-It just didn't make sense to me.
-This was not a violent crime.
And she got life.
And it was extremely important to me…
to shed light on it.
[reporter] Kim Kardashian West
arriving at the White House Wednesday.
A high-wattage West Wing meeting
that just two years ago,
I think most Americans would agree
they never imagined they'd see.
President Trump has fast-tracked
a convicted drug offender
to freedom today,
commuting the life sentence
of an Alabama great-grandmother,
after a face-to-face appeal
from Kim Kardashian.
Do you suddenly
get contacted from every person
in every prison
in every state of the country?
-Pretty much, yeah.
-[audience chuckling]
So, we're talking now
about sentencing reform.
I don't wanna rely
on having to bring a plus one,
an attorney with me everywhere I go,
'cause I don't know
the ins and outs of the laws.
I wanna figure this out myself.
Are you in a law school?
You're not in a law school?
So, it's called Reading the Law,
and it's in California.
There's four states that do it this way.
Abraham Lincoln did it this way, famously.
Um, so, it's legit.
I think sometimes people think,
like, at home,
you're just at home, you know,
but you have to spend
almost 20 hours a week in an office,
with attorneys
that do this apprenticeship with you,
teach you about the law
from, you know, torts
to civil procedure to, you know,
you have to learn everything.
And then, after year one, you have to take
a one-day version of the bar,
which is called the baby bar,
and you have to pass that.
You've got your time pretty well budgeted
for the next four, five years.
[Kim] Yes.
[soft music playing]
When you take this law test, you're
allowed to bring in a list of items.
-Specific things, yes.
-Okay.
If you know what they are--
[grunts]
I'm all right! I'm all--
Thank you. Everything's fine.
I like to come in here…
uh, and announce
that I have medical trouble.
Like, if I saw somebody
in the pharmacy, I would say,
"I have these angry,
red boils full of pus."
-"Do you have any cream for that?"
-[chuckling]
And pretty much, then,
I have the store to myself.
I need the absolute perfect pen.
I know that sounds crazy.
Some are more inky.
I'm gonna open all of these.
-It's hard--
-Bust 'em open. Let's try.
It is not my stuff.
How long is the examination gonna be?
[Kim] It's one day.
So, it's gonna take time.
I've had dreams like this,
where Kim Kardashian
and I are sitting
on the floor in a drug store.
I've had-- it's a recurring dream.
It's gonna take hours,
and hours, and hours.
-The test?
-Yeah, it's like a ten-hour test.
So, it needs to be
the perfect pen in my hands.
-You want me to open some of these?
-[Kim] Yes, please.
-I'm gonna just write your name.
-[David] Well, that's very sweet.
You wanna-- Just try this one.
That may be the same.
No, it's not. I can already tell.
-[gasps] See how that's inky like that?
-Oh, it smudges.
Okay, wait. These are the kind of pens
I like. What is the difference?
What about batteries? You need batteries?
-[Kim] I don't think we need batteries.
-You always need batteries.
Or, no, I don't like a gel roller.
[David] Heads up.
Stand clear. Look out.
The other one feels a bit bolder,
and I think I'm gonna go for more bold.
[David] Shopping for pens.
Let's get our blood pressure taken.
You want to?
-[Kim] Do we think it's clean, though?
-No.
-I can guarantee it's not clean.
-[Kim] Yeah.
-What is happening?
-You got anything?
You busted the machine.
Can we have some help
with the sphygmomanometer?
-Oh, here is!
-[Kim] There we go. Is that good?
Yes.
Oh, now your pulse rate is a little high.
-I attribute that to me.
-Really?
-Plus, you're excited about being on TV.
-[Kim] Totally.
[David] Have we got anything of use?
-I'm just gonna get some Old Spice.
-[Kim] Go for it.
[David] Look at this.
Six hundred and twenty-five Q-tips
for five bucks. Are you kidding me?
[over PA system] Attention CVS shoppers,
today is free Q-tip day!
Be sure to stop
by our giant barrel of Q-tips.
[tapping]
[Kim]
But the best part of a CVS is the candy.
[David] You read my mind.
-Oh, my God.
-Kids love bath bombs.
I'm literally shopping away.
That's the whole point.
We're here because we're Americans.
[David] Now, are we getting anything
that you are gonna need?
We need a travel clock.
-[David] When is the exam?
-[Kim] End of June.
So, I'm taking off
six weeks to really focus.
The clock can only be two by two.
Perfect. Good.
How many of these tests
have you taken so far?
I do a lot of practice tests,
but I've never done one like that.
So, this would be your first actual,
on the record, here we go.
-Yes.
-Well, good luck.
-I wish you all the best.
-Thank you.
[David] What do you want for yourself,
for your family in ten years?
What do you want that to look like?
What will you do?
Hopefully for, you know,
the next multiple administrations,
I will be working with the White House,
helping them with clemencies.
But do you feel that what is being done
on behalf of sentencing reform now
via this current administration,
in any way allows the balance of democracy
back in a corridor of viability?
Well, I have no idea
what you just said. [laughing]
[audience laughing, clapping]
Thank you. Thank you very much.
-I'm not sure, either.
-I'm not done with law school yet.
I'll try it again. I am--
I'm grateful for what you're doing.
But it doesn't make me feel any better
about the current administration.
I understand that.
What-- Now, let me ask you.
Who are you voting for?
[audience laughing]
I know who I'm voting for.
[Kim chuckles]
Trust me, everyone called me and said,
"Don't you dare
step foot in that White House,
or your reputation is done."
And I said, "I have to step foot in there,
or these people's lives
don't have a chance."
-So, it's a life over my reputation?
-[David] Right.
Like, to me…
But, see, your good work is overwhelming.
Uh, it's a positive force
that diminishes what I consider to be
unacceptable behavior by the president.
I-- I'm extremely focused,
and I truly am grateful
for this administration,
for the work
that they've done in prison reform.
So, I'll give props where props are due,
and I'll stay focused
on what I know I can get done.
And, um, that's all I can do.
-Why don't I feel like that?
-[chuckling]
Am I--
I'm not as good a person as you, maybe?
-I think, I mean--
-I'll be quiet now.
[giggles]
Uh, it's so nice of you
to give up your time
because I know
you're a busy, powerful woman,
and you have four kids
under the age of…
-Six.
-Six.
What is that like, for heaven's sakes?
How are the kids now?
It's the most magical, wild, and fun,
and the best, hectic feeling.
It's like exactly
how I remember growing up.
Is-- My little experience here,
that you have I have in common
with every parent in the world
is you can't imagine
the constellation of concern and anxiety
one has about their kids.
-Yeah.
-[David] It's never-ending.
But it is so much fun that you're willing
to put everything else to the back of it.
Absolutely. I think when you become a mom,
you just-- You think of everything.
I mean, especially nowadays.
Like, you know,
"Are they okay at school
and getting along with everyone?"
We just took our daughter
to a school dance,
and there's a dance competition,
and, you know,
"How will she feel if she wins.
How will she feel if she doesn't win?"
And it consumes you so much.
How did she do at the dance competition?
Her and Kanye have won,
I think, the last two years in a row.
-So, they--
-Well now, wait, wait a minute
[laughing]
-It's a daughter-father dance competition?
-[Kim] Yes.
-It's-- Yes.
-Oh.
But they practiced.
They came up with this whole dance,
and they have their moves.
Well, that takes
the worry out of it a little bit.
-Doesn't it?
-Yes.
By the way,
take me through the entire family.
-Let's go. Everybody.
-Grandkids too?
Everybody you have.
-Youngest to oldest?
-In any order.
-How would I know?
-[Kim] Okay.
[giggling]
So, I have Psalm, who's eight months,
Chicago, who's two, Saint, who's four,
North, who's six, me, who's 39, Kanye.
And then, there's Kourtney…
[audience laughing]
People are lost already.
Scott, their kids,
Mason, Penelope, and Reign.
And then, there's Khloé,
and she has a daughter, True.
And then, we have Rob,
and he has a daughter named Dream.
And then, there's Kendall,
who has no kids.
And then Kylie, who has Stormi,
and then my mom, Kris,
and my grandmother, MJ.
I didn't hear Brody.
[chuckles]
And then, that's Caitlyn's kids.
She has Burt, Brandon, Brody, and Casey.
You mentioned Caitlyn Jenner,
who I knew as Bruce Jenner,
'76 Olympic decathlon gold medalist,
and as your stepfather.
And, now, it's Caitlyn Jenner.
What was that experience?
Well, Bruce was the best stepdad.
He-- It was amazing.
And then, when I was 26 years old,
my mom was out of town,
and I was living with them,
and…
walked in the garage,
and Bruce was dressed fully as a woman,
with a wig, and makeup,
and a dress, and heels, and clothes.
This is the first time
you had witnessed this?
Yes.
And I walked right past her…
into my room, packed a bag so fast,
and called Kourtney, and was like,
"I have to come over to your house."
And she said,
"Oh, my God, you caught Bruce cheating?"
And I said, "I wish."
-"Like, I'll see you soon."
-[audience laughing]
And I drove over there,
and we had a computer,
and we were looking up, like,
"What does this mean?"
And the only thing that we found online
was an Oprah episode…
on a transgender woman.
And we still couldn't
really understand what it meant.
And then, Bruce called my phone and said,
"Whenever you're ready,
I'd love to sit you down and talk to you,
but, in the meantime, don't tell a soul."
"Your mom has no idea,
and she will kill me."
It was just a little confusing,
'cause we all
wanted to be there in support of,
but then also wanting to support our mom,
who this is news to,
married to someone for 22 years.
Her heart is broken,
and they have children,
and it was just a lot
when you kind of find out
along with the whole world.
But I remember
when I turned 30 years old,
Caitlyn came over. She said,
"I felt these feelings as a kid,
from four years old."
And only recently
was she okay to be more like herself.
But think about that.
I don't know how old she was,
but to have been uncomfortable
up to that point,
you wouldn't wish that life on anybody.
But I do feel
like she helped break barriers
and helped break that door open
for people that didn't really understand.
The courage and the guts,
and then I know this from…
um…
my participation
at where my son goes to school.
And the education about this now,
uh, is light years ahead of what it was
when you were in school,
and, of course, when I was that age,
they didn't have schools, but, uh…
-[chuckles]
-So, that's encouraging, and--
Yeah.
And it's to her credit that, you know,
she's helped
with this educational process.
[audience clapping]
I mean, going back to my original premise,
when you were a kid, and Keeping Up
with the Kardashians was beginning,
uh, there was a video released.
I don't know if it was a crime,
but certainly a violation.
Yeah.
That must have been
very, very hurtful to you.
-Uh…
-And embarrassing.
-I don't know, it seemed like--
-[Kim] I was in my early 20s.
I think everyone makes stupid choices
and decisions when they're that young.
You didn't do anything wrong
as far as I'm concerned.
Uh… this was an attack on you,
and you've survived it, so…
Yeah, I think just having,
again, like, my family,
and even my grandma--
Like, I was so upset
when that was happening,
and I had my grandma there.
And talking to her about it, and my mom,
and everyone just really supported me.
And that meant everything to me.
-Mm-hm.
-[Kim] And that is from day one,
when we had our first,
big public… scandal.
That is how we always
got through things, is with each other.
I have my family,
and that's all that matters.
But when I was that age, the list
of embarrassing things that I did,
a thousand times greater
than you will experience in your lifetime.
Because I was just a dope.
-[audience laughing]
-[David] And I was always drunk.
So, I was doing stupid,
drunk things all the time.
And if I knew, or had an inkling,
that the people around me
were not trustworthy
which is what happened in this case…
[Kim] Yeah.
…it would be crushing.
But imagine living today,
where everyone has a phone,
everyone has a camera.
You literally can't even
stuff your face with food
without people taking crazy,
embarrassing pictures.
And I've never seen myself naked.
[laughing]
[upbeat hip-hop playing]
Hey, guys.
Okay, guys.
I'm gonna contour and highlight.
Put some outfits together
just so you'll see.
I love the brown color.
I would wear the brown.
I'm gonna give you guys
a tour of my fridge.
Bye, Choo-choo.
You guys love your outfits
I got from Wyoming?
Yeah.
You're a great social media success.
The Instagram numbers are frightening.
They're frightening.
And it's like a full-time job
for you, isn't it?
-It is.
-How often do you appear on Instagram?
At least once a day.
We were, like,
at the beginning of the transition
from, like, regular media,
and how you would have
to do things to social media.
But, like,
I love that I had the experience
of the days when we would have
to do Leno and Letterman.
-I remember--
-Have to do.
-Not have to do. It was an honor to do.
-[chuckles]
No, but if you wanted to talk about
a product and get it out,
you'd have to do interviews…
But what's fascinating to me
about that is that's my world,
and those numbers
compared to your Instagram account numbers
are minuscule.
I hope, hope, hope
you don't take offense to this,
but I was telling Kendall and Kylie, like,
"Oh, I'm gonna go do Letterman,"
and they were like, "Who? What?"
-Like, like…
-[audience laughing]
Like, they literally only do
social media stuff.
And that to me was like, "What?"
It was so fascinating.
[chuckling]
A month ago, I nearly choked to death.
[laughing]
[audience clapping]
[audience cheering]
[soft music playing]
You know the Instagram deal.
Yes.
How many followers
do you have on the Instagram?
-162 million.
-[David] 162 million.
If you put these nail clippers
on the Instagram, boom.
-Would they explode and go everywhere?
-[Kim] They might.
You know, I just opened
my Instagram account.
-You did?
-[David] Yeah.
And I'm following one person,
and it's you.
-No way.
-Can I have my phone, please?
Just toss it over.
-[Kim] You have Instagram.
-Here, toss it over again.
-[thuds]
-Oh, Jesus. [chuckles]
-I'm a really good catcher.
-Toss me my phone.
-Huh! [laughs]
-[Kim] Oh!
-Here, I'll toss it to you.
-We're like idiots at a baseball game.
How do I get my Instagram up there?
What is this? And why do you have…
[David] This is--
…the Christmas present around your phone?
Is this your real phone?
-[David] Yeah.
-This can't be.
Why is your phone like this?
Is it like a prop?
-No, it's-- I-- I'm-- I'm creative.
-No.
If you want a selfie, you have to--
The old-fashioned way.
Hello. Hi.
-Are you sure?
-I don't know.
No, there's, like,
a button here that I can't get to.
[shutter clicking]
Okay, let's see.
-Look, look, Kim. [chuckles]
-There you go.
That's pathetic.
-Yeah, it is.
-It looks-- [chuckles]
-It is.
-Easy to agree, thanks.
Like, I just can't understand.
-See the difference with the lighting?
-There we are.
[shutter clicking]
-That's great.
-Then I'll AirDrop it to you.
Do you know what AirDrop is?
-Sure.
-[Kim] Okay.
Oh, my gosh, you do follow me.
[chuckling]
Uh, oh, boy.
I wanna tell people,
"Just swallowed a battery. Thoughts?"
Here's what I don't want.
I don't want people hating it.
Yeah.
I don't want haters.
Okay.
You try it.
To tell people I just swallowed a battery?
-[David] Yeah.
-On my Instagram?
[David] See what happens.
-Will be good.
-It'll be on Instagram stories.
Yeah.
-Hey, guys.
-Hey, guys. Should I be in it or not?
-You can.
-[David] Okay.
-Hey, guys.
-Hi.
One of us swallowed a battery.
We're at CVS. Who do you think it is?
Just swallowed a battery.
It was a double-A.
Is that gonna be a problem medically?
I don't know.
But we're here, we can ask the pharmacist.
[David] That's right.
We'll go to the pharmacy.
-[Kim] Hey, guys.
-[David] Hey, guys.
Should I be in it or not?
-[Kim] You can.
-I love this.
Oh, here. See? Do you know these days
you can take your own passport picture?
Your phone leaves
like, this Grinch-y green thing.
I used to have a TV show.
I was on every night,
and I had about 300 followers,
but they were audience members.
Now, is-- That's like viral, right?
I'm worried that if kids
are hooked on the social media,
it will ruin their ability
to stare mindlessly at television all day.
Do you ever endorse stuff that you don't
care about, just for the fun of it?
No, I used to all the time.
I would-- I was, like, very contradictory.
Endorsing a weight loss supplement,
and then…
Carl's Jr.
-I would do, like, at the same time.
-[laughing]
-It was very-- I was--
-[David] Wow.
I'm keeping this one.
-We still have to write your caption.
-Yeah, my caption.
"Help, I swallowed a battery."
Put that up and see
how soon we get an ambulance over here.
-Do you think it's too late for me?
-In all honesty, a bit.
[laughing]
Just because-- Just because I don't think
you would keep up with Instagram.
So, that's why I'm--
To me, you know, it's a lot of work
to keep this thing going.
It is. Is this real?
Like, is this really your phone?
-Like, I can't--
-Look at me.
-There's no way to do certain letters.
-[David] Wait. Now I can't even--
-You lost the thing.
-[Kim] Okay.
Zero likes.
[David chuckles]
Somebody broke my damn phone.
Today, you can launch a whole brand--
That's right,
which is what you did with the Skims.
-Yes.
-I'll be honest with you.
Up until, like, a month ago, uh…
the idea of shapewear, I don't know.
I didn't. And I'm still-- But I didn't.
I'd never heard of it.
And then somebody said, "Spanx?"
And I said, "No, no Spanx."
[laughing]
But you go on your Instagram deal and say,
"Uh, guess what, kids?
Shapewear for everybody."
[upbeat music playing]
[cheering]
Thank you, guys, so much for coming out.
[man] You're welcome!
[David] And within a minute,
like, four million things
of shapewear have been sold.
Is that what happens?
-Basically.
-Whoa!
[laughing]
Wow.
[clapping]
Let me give you a little story
from my own life.
Recently, my son and I are snow skiing,
and we're a hundred miles from the lodge.
And I have long underwear on.
And I'm at an age where I might have to…
Go to the bathroom.
Yeah.
[audience laughing]
It's virtually impossible.
Has that issue been addressed?
[laughing]
Well, for women,
we are just launching shapewear
with a pee hole.
[audience cheering]
-It is coming by the time this is out.
-Well, come on, let's hear it, really!
[cheering, clapping intensifies]
But I will say,
the testing of how big or small
-the pee hole has to be…
-Okay!
[audience cheering]
[Kim] …was a very interesting experience--
I'll bet it was.
[laughing]
[clapping]
[reporter 1] Kardashian, in Paris last
October for Fashion Week with her sisters,
had ten million dollars in jewelry stolen.
[reporter 2] How's she doing?
[David] You're in Paris. Um…
There's a robbery.
And to say "robbery"
is to diminish
the nightmare of what that was.
Yeah.
-You thought you were going to die.
-I did.
How long ago was this? Three years?
It was three years ago,
and it was Fashion Week.
I packed all of my jewelry.
I've never done that before.
I put everything
that I owned in a jewelry box,
and I brought it with me,
thinking I'm gonna--
"We're in Paris.
I have to bring the best of the best."
And the week before,
Kanye had bought me a new ring.
And I was really excited and proud of it,
and I videoed it
and was showing it off on social media.
Um, Kanye flew in
because he didn't like my outfit,
and so he flew in to style me.
[David] Now, Kanye flew in from where?
From tour, in the United States.
-I don't even remember.
-Somewhere.
-Boise. He was in Boise.
-[Kim] Yes.
Ida-- Yeah, Boise.
-He got wind of your outfit--
-He saw a picture of my outfit.
And he said, "I'm on the next flight."
[laughing]
And…
[clapping]
[David]
I mean, come on! Ladies and gentlemen…
if that isn't true love…
Um, so, then, what happens?
[Kim] What was so interesting is me,
and Kourtney, and Stephanie, and Simone,
we had lunch.
Me and my girlfriends,
we had lunch that day…
and said, "If you guys were robbed,
what would you do?"
"Would you just give them the stuff?"
Why we had this conversation?
It was so wild.
And I said, "I would say,
'Take everything. Just take everything.'"
Nothing is important.
And then, that night,
Kayne had left 'cause he still--
He had his tour.
Kourtney had left to go out to a club.
And at that time, you know,
we traveled with our one security guard.
And I said, "Well, you bring the security
'cause you're going out. I'm in."
And then, at about three in the morning,
I hear this, like, stomping up the stairs.
And I thought Kourtney
and my friend Stephanie came home drunk
and were being really loud and obnoxious.
And I just yelled for them a few times.
And I realized
they're not responding to me.
Immediate panic.
I knew someone was there.
Like, someone was there to get me.
I-- I-- You feel it.
I grabbed my phone to call 91--
I couldn't figure out
how to call 911 in France.
That's not the number, you know?
-So…
-They're using French numbers.
[Kim] So I call my security guard,
but the doors open right away,
and it's policemen.
So I thought. They grabbed my phone…
and took it,
or I think they took it with them.
The robbers are dressed as policemen.
-Is that what I infer here?
-[Kim] Yeah.
-Yeah, policemen with masks on.
-How many were in the room with you?
-Two.
-Just the two.
But they brought in the concierge
from downstairs, handcuffed.
With a gun up to him.
So, they were speaking,
yelling at me in French.
And I just sat up and…
And I--
They kept on saying, "The ring. The ring."
And I was just so startled,
I was like, you know, "What?"
It didn't compute to me for a minute.
And then, the guy goes, "The ring."
And I had put it up by the side of my bed.
So, I handed him my ring,
and then he grabs me,
and I was wearing a robe,
and I wasn't wearing anything under it.
-[whispers] I don't wanna cry.
-[David] Oh, no, no, no, no.
We all right?
I don't wanna ruin my makeup.
[audience laughing]
It's fine. The makeup is fine.
Okay. [sniffs]
And, um, he grabbed me
and pulled me towards him.
But I wasn't wearing anything underneath,
I was like, "Okay, this is the time
I'm gonna get raped."
"Like, just deal, like, it's--
This is-- it's gonna happen."
You know? Like…
"Just prepare yourself."
So, I did, and then…
I don't know why I'm crying.
I've talked about this before.
Um…
But then he tied me up with handcuffs,
and then zip ties, and then duct tape.
And then duct-taped
my mouth and my eyes.
And before he had my eyes,
he had-- I saw--
I mean, before he duct-taped my eyes,
'cause that was the last thing, he…
I saw he found my whole jewelry box,
and, like, held it up, like, "Aha!"
Like, "We got it."
But I kept on looking at the concierge,
'cause I didn't know who he was.
I'm like, "What is happening?
Are we gonna die?"
"Just tell them I have children."
"I have babies.
I have a husband. I have a family."
"Like, I have to get home."
"Tell them, 'Take anything.'
I'll never say, like, I saw them."
"Like, take everything." [sniffs]
And then…
um… [sniffs]
And then, I saw him have a gun out to me,
and I was like, "Okay, this is it."
I just kept on thinking about Kourtney.
I kept on thinking she's gonna come home,
and I'm gonna be dead in the room,
and she's never gonna--
She's gonna be traumatized
for the rest of her life if she sees me.
We're sharing a room. Like, on her bed.
But I thought that was my fate.
And then, the guy pick--
He kept on whispering to me,
like, "You okay. You okay."
Like this one guy.
The guy that didn't have the gun.
Just like, "Shh. If you shh, you okay."
And he could hardly speak English,
but I was like,
"Okay, he's, like--
Is he giving me a signal?"
So much goes through your head.
And I've watched
every single CSI show on the planet.
And so,
for one split second, I'm like,
"Look into his eyes.
What color eyes and hair do you have?
Like you're trying to do
what you're supposed to do,
and it all goes out the door.
Like, it all goes out the door, and…
[sniffs]
He picked me up,
and he put me in a bathtub.
Then he picked me up again,
and just put me on the floor and ran.
[reporter]
Detectives busting into a Paris apartment
and raiding a French country house.
Seventeen arrested this week,
most of the suspects
in their 50s, one in his 70s.
[Kim]
Since people have been arrested for it,
and I get to read their confessions now,
and so had realized
that they had been following me
for two years
leading up until this moment.
-The robbers?
-[Kim] Yes.
I didn't know
that they had someone at the elevator,
someone at the front,
someone that moved the camera,
someone that broke the door,
someone in the getaway car.
Like, there was a whole team
of people that had planned this.
So, this was not just a,
"Let's see if we could--"
They said they tried it the last trip,
but Kanye was there,
and they were too scared.
And then, they said
they saw on social media…
that I had this huge, new ring.
-Um…
-What-- And I…
I don't steal jewelry.
-And I've never--
-That's good.
[David] I've never been robbed of jewelry.
It seems to me like stuff at this level
would be pretty hard to get rid of.
-Do you know how much was--
-You would think that.
But I'm sure it was sold
on the black market.
But they did do a huge sting operation,
and everyone is in prison awaiting trial.
[clapping]
Now, how long did it take,
because there's a certain…
not a certain measure,
a definite measure, of shock, and fear,
and post-traumatic circumstances
that one goes through.
And you're known around the world
in numbers on social media
that are staggering.
I definitely took a year
where I got really…
paranoid of people knowing my whereabouts.
I didn't even want to go to a restaurant
because I thought,
"Someone will know I'm at this restaurant,
they'll take a picture, send it."
"They'll know my house is open.
They know that my kids are there."
I was just…
really scared of everything.
Like, I can't sleep at night
unless there's…
half a dozen security guards at my house.
And that has just become my reality,
and that's okay.
Well, is it--
The question is, "Is it okay?"
It's not okay if it was me.
Besides that little cry session,
I'm totally fine.
[audience laughs]
I really am.
I remember calling
all my sisters from the car.
We were on a conference call. I said,
"Guys, just thank God that was me."
"I am very mentally strong,
and that would have fucked
all of your lives up
for the rest of your life."
[audience laughing]
You're just fine without whatever it is
you lost, and thank God you're alive.
Thank God your children
know their mother, and on and on.
Um…
Did somebody tell you
it was okay to say "fuck" up here?
Sorry, no.
[audience laughing]
Nobody said--
It's Netflix, right?
Yeah, but they told me don't--
Whatever you say, don't say fuck.
[audience laughing]
Um, okay…
Um…
It's my favorite of the bad words.
So, Kanye, who I know a little bit,
and tremendous energy, this kid,
and tremendous intellect.
And who's making more money?
[audience laughing]
Him, probably.
-Probably?
-[Kim] Probably.
How close are we?
[audience chuckling]
We're exactly even.
[chuckling]
Well, good.
We both are really blessed
and do extremely well.
And I'm really grateful.
[crowd clapping]
Could you have done all of this,
everything that you've done…
Could you have done it
if you were from Cincinnati?
Could it have happened that way?
Could you have done it
without Keeping Up with the Kardashians?
Could you have done it without working
for Paris Hilton as a stylist?
I don't know what a stylist is.
I don't know how you get that job.
No matter how much our lives
have transcended
beyond the show and filming,
that show is us.
I feel like for so many years,
we tried to prove, like, we're cool.
We wanna be famous. We want this,
but, now, the show shows we're normal.
We're just like a regular family.
And it's like the--
It's, like, totally flipped.
Now, I have many things to say here.
First of all, I just recently looked
at video of your total normal family.
You took us on a tour
of your 18 refrigerators.
[laughing]
And I said to myself,
"This is not a normal family."
But they came up with us,
they saw when I could hardly afford
my rent to my condo.
We would not be who we are today
without Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
And that's why we continue
to share our lives, even if…
realistically,
if we can post something on social media
and make more than we do a whole season.
That's who we are,
and it brings us together as a family.
Through all of these disappointments,
heartaches,
um, you have come out
on the right side of everything.
And congratulations
on everything you achieved
and surviving just a remarkable life.
And I hope things
are going nothing but straight up for you.
-Thank you.
-God bless you.
-Thank you so much.
-Thank you.
[cheering, clapping]
[whooping]
[David] Have a nice day.
It's a great honor. Pleasure.
Thank you so much. Give my best to Kanye.
-Thank you, I will.
-Thank you.
-[Kim] Thank you so much.
-Kim Kardashian, ladies and gentlemen.
[cheering, clapping continues]
[David] Look, what is this?
Earbud with mic?
What are we talking about?
Oh…
What is that?
-For your phone.
-[David] Oh.
But I don't think
that'll connect to your phone.
[chuckles]
[theme music playing]