NCIS s16e14 Episode Script

Once Upon a Tim

1 CHLOE: What's it called? It was just released.
It's called a "web browser.
" Cool name.
What is it? A new development stack? No.
You use it to connect to something called the Internet.
(modem beeping) And then what? Watch.
Is that the phone company? It's their website, yeah.
Are you tunneling into their backend servers? Yup.
I figured out a way to make long-distance phone calls for free.
Oh, my God.
Do you know how much money we could make? I just want to be able to call my dad when he's on deployment.
I hear you, but do you know how much money we could make? Do it for your dad and the extra pocket change.
(dog barking in distance) Oops.
MOM: Timothy McGee! What did you do now? (groans) (laughs) NCIS 16x14 Once Upon a Tim - So what did your mom do? - Grounded me for a week.
Can't believe you still have it.
Yeah, it's the first PC I ever built.
- Made me realize that - You would never have a girlfriend? Um, I've had plenty of girlfriends, thank you.
Yeah, one even helped him build this.
No, actually that was just a "girl-dash-friend.
" Oh.
Oh, so, like, "pathetic-dash-disturbing.
" I pulled this bad boy out of the mothballs last week, see if I could get the twins started on computer science early.
Well, it's a really nice design.
McGEE: Well, the twins had other ideas.
Morgan threw up on the CPU and Johnny peed on the hard drive.
I'm gonna see if I can get Kasie to help me fix it.
Good luck with that.
She's hiding.
Hiding? From what? - SULLIVAN: I hope you kept records.
- Him.
This is insane.
I've never been audited in my life.
Well, if it makes you feel better, it wasn't just you.
Agent Gibbs' entire team was sloppy with their expense reports.
What? Wait, what? We're being audited? Did you think I was organizing my receipts for fun? No, that's something that dorks who build their own computers do.
(laughs) I hope you have a receipt for that.
I'm sorry, who are you? Dick Sullivan.
Deputy Inspector General, DoD.
Does Gibbs know about this? Rule 99.
"Never tell Gibbs he's being audited.
" That's not a real thing.
Dead body.
Gear up.
Um Um, no, no, no, wait.
Um Still need to get, uh I still need everyone's (sighs) BISHOP: This is the third Navy contractor to drop dead this year.
Got bruises on his neck.
Hey, can I borrow a pen? No way.
Get your own.
What? Since when did you become a pen Nazi? Since I found out that pens are not expensable.
That's crazy.
Yeah, you know what's crazy is that my protein powder is not expensable, either.
Yeah, I would file that one under "duh.
" Ranger found the body about an hour ago.
GIBBS: Witnesses? McGEE: They canvassed nearby campgrounds, no one saw anything.
Think this belongs to our murderer? Well, it's a shovel, McGee.
It's-it's by a dead body.
You tell me.
Ground's frozen, killer gave up.
So what do we have here? TORRES: Dead Navy contractor.
JIMMY: That's the third one this year.
Am I the only one that doesn't keep track of these things? This looks like strangulation.
And this Not my department.
Agent Bishop, if you would.
BISHOP: Mm-hmm.
What do we got? BISHOP: An empty notebook.
Pages torn out.
Oh, wait.
I see some indentations.
- Oh.
- You know pens are not expensable.
All right, I got some numbers here.
"4, 20, 19, 94.
" That's funny.
That's the exact same date that I got my, uh Z28? Yeah, back when I lived in Hampstead? TORRES: Uh Can someone explain to me what just happened? That's one of my old computer passwords.
Well, McGee, why does a dead guy have one of your old computer passwords in his pocket? BISHOP: Edward Kane, 45.
Worked at the Defense Payroll Service at DoD.
Bean counter.
Been missing since Thursday, and Jimmy says he's been dead for about four days.
- McGee? - Boss, I don't know the name.
I've never seen this guy before in my life.
He knows you, or at least your password.
Unless it's a coincidence.
Do you know the odds of a 19-digit string randomly matching your 9,000,652,000 to one, yes.
What do we got? Phone records.
Nothing too exciting.
Bunch of calls to mom, sis, yada yada, but the last call that Kane made before he disappeared is really interesting, to a high school in the middle of nowhere.
Oh, you got to be kidding me.
Don't tell me it's yours.
Well, one of them.
We moved every time my dad transferred.
You sure you didn't go to high school with this guy? Boss, I'm-I'm positive that I did not go to high school with this guy.
I remember everyone at the school.
I couldn't get out of there fast enough.
Well, I have an awesome feeling that, uh, you're going back.
(school bell rings) WOMAN (over P.
): It is SAT prep time.
Juniors and seniors, you can sign up So I talked to the front office.
Uh, Kane called, asked to talk to the guy who runs the computer lab, an Andrew Lewis.
You're kidding.
Lewis? Can't believe he's still here.
Yeah, I was never really a fan, but I'm sure the guy remembers me.
Oh, Mr.
Yeah, and who are you? It's me, Tim McGee.
Doesn't ring a bell.
Made quite an impression.
I was in your computer class senior year.
I was actually top of your class.
You judged a talent show that I tried out for.
Oh, right, sure.
It's, um Tim.
I'm Special Agent Nick Torres.
I'm actually late for a rehearsal right now.
We're doing Cats, again, so, um, if you could, uh Ask you a few questions while we're standing here? Yeah, I like the idea.
Okay, um, this really is Our records show that last week you talked to an Edward Kane.
Mm No.
No, I didn't.
Uh, in fact, I've never heard the name before.
So you don't know this guy? No.
Anything else? You should pay more attention to your star pupils.
Top of the class here.
We'll be in touch.
What do you think? I think I can't believe he doesn't remember me.
Seems a little squirrelly, don't you think? Yeah, he's definitely hiding something.
I'm not surprised, though.
To be honest, I never really liked the guy.
Seems like you guys had some history.
Yeah, you could say that.
(indistinct chatter) Wow.
Pretty sharp.
And expensive-looking.
Well, I worked all summer for them.
Selling free long-distance would've been an easier way to make a buck.
Easier way to go to jail.
Well, that summer gig was worth it.
You look great.
(chuckles) (tap-dancing) Too bad you suck.
They don't call me "Timothy Soft Shoes Savant McGee" for nothing.
(laughs) You're the only one who calls you that.
Who's on deck? Me, Mr.
One minute.
So what's it gonna be next year in college? Gonna go for the big leagues? I was actually thinking about majoring in writing.
What do you think? Pretty crazy? I think it's a great idea, but it's not me you need to worry about.
I know.
"Son, every McGee since the last millennium has gone into the Navy.
" You should just tell him no.
Chloe, he's not exactly the guy who takes no for an answer.
Maybe you should listen to him.
Well, I'm just judging by what I hear your English teachers say and how well you did in the talent show last year.
Thanks for the encouragement? I'm just saying that talent is a real thing, not everybody has it.
You should find out what you're good at, just do that.
(applause) I mean, what kind of teacher doesn't nurture a budding flower, you know? Alcohol wipes, babe.
Well, turned out all right, didn't it? Well, I don't know about that.
Haven't tapped since college, and I'm a failure as a writer.
You wrote a best seller, Tim.
Yeah, that was, uh, ten years ago, and it was two best sellers, by the way.
Torx driver.
I thought you were happy at NCIS.
I am.
It's just Last thing I wanted to do as a kid was join the Navy.
And you didn't.
You know, I don't fight for the Navy, but I am a cop for it.
Um, Tim, what is it doing? Oh.
Looks like it's opening up an Internet Relay Chat.
On its own? And IRC? Who uses that anymore? Timothy, why is your computer talking to you? I'm sorry, did I get here before you? Don't just sit there, uh, ask it.
Who is this? Is this really creepy, or is it just me? No, it's not just you.
Ask it what it wants.
"What do you want?" (typing) "No.
" Don't say that.
What? Why? Because clearly, whoever that is wants you to be alone, so let them think you are alone.
Okay, okay.
I'm alone.
Go to the kids, now.
Tim Someone could be in the building.
Call Gibbs.
Actually, call 911, then call Gibbs.
Be careful.
If someone's out there, come out now with your hands on your head.
DELILAH: (screams) Tim! Delilah? Delilah?! So I went back for the kids, like Tim said, and a, a minute later, I heard a noise in the kitchen.
Yeah, well, it looks like the intruder came in through the guest room window.
- All right.
Bag and tag everything he touched.
So I thought Tim had come back, but when I went to check, that's when I saw him, and that's when I screamed.
And then a second later, I heard gunshots.
You recognize him? Okay, I'll let her know.
- Hey.
- Your mom says the twins are already asleep.
So that's all it takes, just a little shooting.
We should do this every day.
Sorry, but McGee, uh, hit the limit of how many people he can shoot in his apartment.
(chuckles) (mouths) What's he talking about? I do not know.
Um, but I have packed your bag here, ready to go to your mom's.
What is he talking about? Not a big deal, all right, but couple of years ago, while you were in Dubai, there was a break-in here at the apartment, and, um, I shot someone.
In our apartment? - Yeah.
- And you failed to mention that to me? Ah, don't look at me, pal.
Good luck with that, man.
Bishop, little help? Nope.
You are on your own, McGee.
Not really a big fan of secrets right now.
DELILAH: Okay, let's hear it.
Look, I just, I didn't want you to worry.
Well, now I'm worrying for a whole new set of reasons.
Like, what else aren't you telling me? Nothing.
I'm not hiding anything from you at all.
I swear.
Scout's honor.
So, is it, uh, is it just the one, or did you guys find another mummified body under the bed? Okay, hang on, hang on.
I might have failed to mention there was also a mummified body, but Mum Hang on.
We have bigger fish to fry, like finding out why this guy tried to lure me out of the apartment, and what was he after? I'm guessing this.
My old computer? Why would anyone want your old computer? I have no idea.
Until last week, I hadn't turned it on since high school.
And what were you doing with it in high school? You want a piece of this? How about this? MOM: Dinner's ready! In a minute, Mom! I'm doing my homework! MOM: Tim! Mom! Is that the way we stand? Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you? But I'm in so deep You know I'm such a fool for you - You've got me wrapped around - GIBBS: McGee.
You know, boss, I can't think of anything I did with this computer that's relevant to what's going on here.
(elevator bell chimes) Aw, man.
Looks like we missed her.
She's probably on a coffee break.
At 8:00 a.
? Mm-hmm.
Well, I hope she doesn't try to expense any venti double lattes.
It was a single and I was on a stakeout and I needed the boost to stay awake.
Coast is clear.
I owe you one.
Well, you can pay me back with an update.
One venti update (laughs) coming right up.
Starting with this.
Our dead guy's prints are all over it, but I don't think he drew it.
I lifted a partial that wasn't his, where you would've expected the artist to be holding the page.
You got an I.
? Mm, not yet.
I was able to I.
our latest dead guy.
Braxton Ballard, 25.
McGee almost had a heart attack when he looked up his record.
Why? Oh, arson, grand theft, kidnapping.
Just the kind of guy you want crawling through your kids' window.
So were we able to figure out how this Braxton guy hacked into my computer? Actually, I don't think it was him.
I was able to backtrace the IRC chat.
Whoever you were talking to was on the other side of town.
So Braxton was working with somebody.
Or maybe a hired gun.
That's more his M.
Okay, so who hired him? Let me see the exact location.
I'm having a hard time narrowing down the area.
There's some weird corruption in the IRC data stream that's messing with my mojo.
But I'm working on it.
Well, work harder, 'cause someone wanted this bad enough they were willing to break into a federal agent's apartment to steal it.
I need to know why.
Yeah, well, it's your computer, McGee, so what do you think it is? (insects chirping) (dog barking in distance) I don't think you've moved since I left.
When did you get back? The Eisenhower docked this morning.
Are we moving again? Eventually.
Do you know when? Why? Are you scared you're not gonna make it to your big talent show? Your mother told me.
Look, Dad, only 15 people were accepted.
I don't give a rat's ass how many people were accepted.
This is not where you should be focusing your energies.
It's just one show.
It's an embarrassment.
You should be joining JROTC or learning to sail, instead of prancing around What if I don't want to? Don't want to what? Let me tell you something, boy.
The Navy made me the man I am today.
And from what I see, you need more than a little bit of character building.
Generations of McGees have fought for their country.
Fought! And for God's sake, that's what you're going to do.
JIMMY: Gentlemen, I don't want to judge your life choices here, but may I suggest, should you two meet up in the next one, you opt for some sort of mediation or other professional conflict resolution service.
Meet again? Yes.
I am proud to say that I have solved this case.
Well, good, 'cause we're stuck.
We were hoping you had something.
Well, may I introduce to you Edward Kane.
Found strangled to death just yesterday.
Yeah, we met.
Well, that means that you have also met the man who killed him.
Aka Braxton Ballard, the hoodlum foolish enough to go toe-to-toe with Special Agent Timothy McGee.
So Braxton killed our victim.
Are you sure? 100%.
Confirmed with touch DNA.
Why? Uh, because touch DNA is the best way No, why did this guy kill Kane? What's that? Palmer, what's the connection between these two men? - Uh - And why was Braxton after my old computer, just a week after I pulled it out of storage? O-Okay, okay, so-so, uh, maybe I haven't solved the case.
Because I have no idea why he would want McGee's old computer.
Me, neither, but your computer is doing something really weird right now, and I wanted you to see it before it stopped.
It happened the second I plugged it into the Internet.
McGee? Boss, that is not possible.
If I didn't know better, I'd say your computer is trying to connect to some sort of remote virus.
It is.
One designed to take down the Department of Defense.
Really? What-- and how do you know that? Well, because I wrote it.
This is what the guy you killed tried to steal from your apartment? Yes.
And you built this? I did.
Back in high school, yes, sir.
And then programmed it to attack the United States government? No.
No, just, um the Department of Defense.
- Why? - Well, um So the baud rate's only 8K, but at seven bps You can hit up to 56 kilobytes per second.
A meg in three minutes.
(chuckles) So are we gonna talk about the other day? (rock music playing quietly) Tim? I'm trying to ignore you.
I feel you I'm serious.
Yeah, we should probably talk.
Myself This time So what are we talking about? What happened.
(quietly): With our mouths.
And then, what happens next.
I feel Relax, I'm not proposing.
It's just you're graduating soon and I have no idea if you're gonna be around next year or if you're joining the Navy I'm not joining the Navy.
I feel You're not? Your dad's gonna flip out.
Navy's his thing.
I'm not gonna give up on my dreams - just to make him happy.
- COMMANDER McGEE: Happy? Dad.
He'll see you tomorrow.
Dad, look, I-I didn't mean Is that what you think this is about, boy? Making me happy? This is about you.
How is it about me? I get seasick just looking at a boat - and you want me to join the Navy.
- I want you to be a man.
I am a man.
You're a child.
And you're weak.
You're wasting your time on pipe dreams.
The military will make you strong.
You know what? I hear that a lot from you.
So tell me how.
And I don't mean vague comments about how war will build character.
You tell me that Vietnam made you the man you are.
But you haven't even told me a single McGEE: And he took those shoes outside and burned them.
I spent all summer working to pay for those.
And that's why you made the virus.
To get even with your father.
I was in computer lab.
I was just a kid blowing off steam.
I never actually even ran it.
Yeah? Well, it's running now.
Miss Hines says it looks like there's a copy running inside of DoD.
Yes, and it's trying to phone home to my computer for some reason.
What is this virus doing? McGEE: I have no idea.
It looks like it's been modified.
And I have no idea how it got loose.
I mean, I'd forgotten I'd even written it until I saw it in Autopsy.
We know how long this thing's been running? According to the console logs, almost 25 years.
Who else had access to the original virus back then aside from you? Just my computer teacher, but (scoffs) SLOANE: Are you sure it's a good idea to have McGee run this interrogation? I think it is the best idea I have ever had.
Really? (chuckles) So you remember me now? Agent something or other.
And a former student, or so you tell me.
You remember this? No.
It's a computer I built back in high school.
I coded a virus on it in your class.
Which you stole and used to infect the DoD.
(chuckles) Really? And why would I do that? Well, it's funny you should ask that.
I'm sure you remember Petty Officer Griffin.
You should.
She filed a restraining order against you for stalking back in 1994.
Oh, I got something else, too.
These logs show that the virus has been running since Funny, that.
So what did you do? Well, I'm guessing that you stole a copy of the virus from my computer, then you used it to attack your ex at work.
This is insane.
And as usual, you didn't properly format your headers.
So you do remember me.
You're right.
Fantastic idea.
McGEE: Now I am wondering why you pretended to not know me.
Your front desk says you did, in fact, speak with that man who, as you can see, is now dead.
Are you gonna stop lying or do you want me to arrest you for conspiracy to commit murder? You got this all wrong.
Enlighten me.
Yes, he called me.
Yes, I spoke with him.
Okay, so why the lying? Because you're a cop.
Okay, I'm gonna arrest you now.
I run an illegal online gambling website for Navy servicemen overseas.
Started a year ago.
That's why I thought you were poking around.
And that's what Kane wanted to talk to you about? No, he wanted to know if I still had the old IP assignments from a computer class back in '94.
Old IP assignments? - Why on earth would he want those? - He only wanted one.
Um Here.
He said he was looking for someone.
And he wanted to know who sat in a particular computer station.
(modem beeping) You didn't properly format your header.
Oh, my God.
Stop the presses, Tim McGee got a B-minus? In computer class? Too soon? (Chloe sighs) Your dad's a jackass, you can't let him win.
He did win.
It's over.
What's over? The Naval Academy? Tim, no.
The interview's already set up.
What happened to telling him how you feel? Have you met my dad? So that's it, then? You're just gonna give up on your dreams? The writing, the dancing? Yup.
So What happens to us, then? I know who Kane was looking for.
Her name is Chloe.
She was an old friend of mine from high school.
This IP address right here? Was assigned to her station in our computer lab.
Are you sure? 100%.
McGee, how could you possibly remember that? I can't give I can't give any more I can't live If living is without you.
I'd rather not say.
Ah, and yet, that says everything.
So why is our dead guy looking for your high school squeeze? Boss, I never said Stop the presses! Whew.
(panting) What do you got? I tracked down the subsystem at the DoD where the virus is running.
Boom! Kasie Hines, representing.
So, what's it doing? Uh, I'm not sure yet.
But it's been doing it for 25 years.
That's how long it's been in the system.
It could be anything.
Anything bad since we're talking about cyberterrorism.
(chuckles) Ooh, but the good news is, I backtraced the virus to the original IP address it came from.
Who? Whoever the man behind the curtain is at 192, dot, 168, dot Eight, dot, eight.
How did you know that? Because that's his old girlfriend's IP address.
Well, your old girlfriend's a terrorist.
TORRES: So this bean counter discovers McGee's old virus was all up in DoD's grill.
- Traces it back to McGee's high school.
- Yup.
Then finds out this Chloe girl is the one who released it.
- Yup.
- Two days later, - this bean counter is dead.
- Yup.
It ain't looking good for McGee's girlfriend right now.
- No.
- McGEE: She wasn't my girlfriend.
Neighbors say she hasn't been home in a week.
Wasn't at work, either.
Where is she? Boss, how would I know? Well, she is the first girl you ever kissed.
I never said that.
Who said that? Sloane.
Sloane? - How on earth would Sloane know? - GIBBS: All right, geez.
- McGee.
- Boss, I have no idea where Chloe is.
My father was transferred to Indiana, we moved there, I haven't seen her since.
Well, she's clearly on the run.
That's probably a good idea since she attacked the Department of Defense.
McGEE: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on.
Now, I know what it looks like, but I'm not buying it.
Look, I know how you feel.
Okay, I once had a girlfriend who turned out to be a cat burglar.
She wasn't my girlfriend.
Okay? And she never attacked the military, okay? At least, not back in 1994.
- How do I look? - Like you're about to walk the plank.
(exhales) That's about how I feel.
You shouldn't be doing this, Tim.
It's just an interview.
For the Naval Academy.
You should be applying to Juilliard.
Don't get me wrong, my entire family's in the Navy.
But it's not what you should be doing with your life.
You don't think I know that? I don't want to have anything to do with the Navy.
- So what are you doing, then? - His damn duty.
Goodbye, Chloe.
I'll hit you up on the bat channel later.
Hold on a second.
I think I know how to find Chloe.
The bat channel.
Kasie, that weird data corruption in the IRC chat from my apartment? Pull it up.
Uh, what's happening? McGee unchained.
Just go with it.
That is not data corruption.
- What is that? - It's a secret code that Chloe and I came up with to speak privately in group chats.
A is B, B is C, C is Yeah, I got it.
Give me a sec to rig up a translator.
Hey, McGee, it's, uh, it's amazing, man.
It's amazing that you were able to find a woman to procreate with.
What does it say? KASIE: Looks like "SOS.
" She's in trouble.
What are those numbers? Longitude and latitude.
She's not the bad guy.
Whatever's going on here, she's asking for help.
Or it's a trap.
McGee, come on.
With me.
Let's go.
(bird cawing) There it is.
GIBBS: RV? Boss, you know this is less than two miles from where they found Kane's body.
After you.
(gasps) Tim.
Oh, my God, are you okay? You got my message.
Yeah, on the bat channel hidden on the IRC stream.
They made me do it, Tim.
They made me lure you out of your apartment.
McGEE: It's okay.
You're safe now.
You're okay.
Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
Told you, boss.
Told him what? We thought you had unleashed a virus on the Department of Defense.
Oh What? Well About that This is the virus we found running at DoD.
This may have been me.
And by "may have," I mean this was me.
What were you thinking? I wasn't.
I was 16.
You stole my virus, and then you used it to attack the military.
No, I copied it.
And I didn't attack anyone.
The day you crashed your Z28, you asked me to bring home your computer from school.
Well, I saw the code that you wrote, and realized with a few tweaks, the virus could be a bit more, um effective.
At what? I modified it to take rounding errors from payroll checks and deposit them into a holding account.
Of course you did.
Tim, I ran the virus as a goof.
I didn't even think it worked, and I had completely forgot about it.
Until? Last week, out of nowhere, this guy grabs me and says he wants to know where the holding account is.
Well, yeah, your virus has been running for 25 years.
There's probably millions of dollars in that account.
So I heard.
But I told him I had no idea.
He'd have to track down the original source code to find the money.
Which was on my old computer.
This the guy who grabbed you? No, the guy that grabbed me had these beady little eyes.
Well, you're gonna need to do better than that.
And, like, a big, bushy moustache.
Moustache? Smarmy.
McGEE: I'm gonna enjoy this takedown.
BISHOP: In the sun.
Gotta love that vitamin D.
Do you have any idea how often you flex? Girls don't really find that attractive.
How would you know? You didn't even kiss a girl until you were 16.
Where are you getting this stuff from, huh? (tires screeching) Yo, heads up.
Right on schedule.
This is a first.
Are you that looking forward to giving me your final expense reports that you brought them out to me? Oh, we brought something out for you all right.
(whimpers, grunts) That's a good one.
That was a good tackle.
CHLOE: So, this Kane guy somehow found out about my virus, tracked it back to me, - and then reported it to his boss? - Yep.
When the boss found out how much money was missing, he killed Kane and went after the cash himself.
But the virus has been running for 25 years.
Why now? What happened? I happened.
Your virus has been trying to ping my computer This way? for years.
Last week, when they turned it on, it finally succeeded.
Set off a DoD internal alarm.
So that's when Kane noticed the missing money.
So, what's all this? Gibbs had me bag and tag anything I kept from high school.
Look at how young he was.
So it's kind of like you joined the Navy after all.
(scoffs) My dad didn't quite see it that way, but, uh, yeah, I guess I sort of did.
He made peace with it.
What about you? I am exactly where I want to be.
And as it turns out, the Navy made me the man I am.
So, the apple didn't fall far from the tree after all.
In more ways than one.
DELILAH: Well, right now, this apple needs to get home and watch the twins.
Babysitter needs to leave.
Who's that? Um (stammers) This is I'm just kidding.
We met in the lobby.
- Hi.
- CHLOE: Hi.
You really married up, Tim.
- Oh, thank you.
You ready? - Mm-hmm.
Wait, uh, what? Oh, we're going to dinner.
I thought you said I had to watch the twins.
Oh, no, you're not coming.
(laughs) Um, I don't think this is such a good idea.
Honey, how often do I get to hang out with my husband's old high school buddies? We were kind of more than just buddies.
Oh, I can't wait to hear all about that.
(indistinct chatter) Just tell me one thing.
What's so wrong with the Navy? It made me the man I am.
I know that.
(dog barking in distance) And it could do so much for you.
I know that, too.
But it's not my life, it's yours.
I can't make this decision for you.
I made a lot of mistakes in my life when it came to you.
Not this time.
So, in the end, uh the choice is yours to make.
But I think you've already made it, haven't you? Actually, I don't know.
I don't know what I should do.
I'm sure you can't relate to that.
You'd be surprised.
We all have our dreams.
(elevator bell chimes) (taps clicking) (elevator bell chimes) (tap-dancing) (big band music playing)