NewsRadio (1995) s02e11 Episode Script
Station Sale
Okay, one last thing.
The, uh, snack food over by the coffee machine is for snacking purposes only.
Meaning what? Meaning don't make the snacks your primary dietary source.
Okay? Leave a cookie or two for other people.
Don't look at me.
Hmm? Don't, please.
Stop it.
No one is looking at you.
Yes, they are, Dave.
Just because I earn next to nothing, everybody assumes that I'll eat anything that's free, and that is simply not true.
No one thinks that.
I do.
Thank you, Bill.
You know what she has for lunch? Ketchup-packet soup and Tic-Tacs.
I do not, Bill.
Give the girl a raise, already.
It's making me sick.
Aw.
Oh.
Well, that's all I wanted to cover today.
Mr.
James, is there something you wanted to say? Uh, yeah.
Thanks, David.
As you all know, I've been concentrating all my energies lately on finding a wife.
And how's that going? Oh, good, good.
I've whittled my original list of 36 candidates down to 29.
So who'd you eliminate? Well, with a great deal of reluctance, I've had to scratch off Loretta Swit.
Already married? No, not that I know of.
The problem is, no one can seem to locate her.
Sir, is that what you wanted to tell us? Nope.
No.
What I wanted to say was this-- there comes a time in a man's life when change must occur.
Change, according to the great philosophers, is a catalyst for-- Yes, Beth? Uh, sir, may I be excused? I think I may have some secretarial-type duties.
Okay.
Go ahead.
I understand that.
Anybody else that's got any real work to do can go ahead, and anybody who wants to stay here and hear what I have to say can just go ahead and stay here.
So what's up? I'm selling the station.
I'm sorry.
I thought I heard you say-- You heard right.
I am currently in negotiations to sell WNYX, which is why I wanted to tell you people about it before you read it in the papers tomorrow.
Um, I think someone should check on Matthew.
Come on, sweetie.
One foot in front of the other.
Sir, who are you in negotiations with? Robertson Communications.
They own a whole bunch of AM stations, but they're good people.
This is completely bogus.
Completely bogus.
Joe, what exactly is so bogus about it? I don't know.
There's something bogus in there somewhere.
This is very upsetting.
Yes.
This really is a shock.
I know.
I know.
Which is why I wanted to spend a moment with you people, make sure you were okay.
Okay, good.
That was a nice moment.
Where are you going? I'm going to a meeting with the Robertson people.
You know what? I love the smell of a negotiating room in the morning.
It smells like, uh "Like victory.
" What? "Like victory," Apocalypse Now.
Dave, I'd love to stand here and talk movies with you, but I got a deal to close.
I'll see you, people.
Wait a minute.
Is that it? No one's going to no one's going to do anything? You're all just going to sit there and do nothing.
No, sir.
I for one am going to go get a cup of coffee.
No sale.
No sale.
Come on, guys.
No sale.
No sale! No sale! No sale! No sale! No sale! No sale! Matthew, be careful.
Aah! [.]
What do you know about these Robertson Communications people? Nothing at all.
Are they the sort of people that are going to come in here and just fire everyone, or-- No.
Let's just calm down.
All right? There's no reason to panic about this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're right.
They're not going to come in and fire everybody.
No.
They'll probably just hold us all to our contracts, and then change the format to soft rock of the '70s until we all get so sick of listening to "Afternoon Delight" that we kill ourselves, and then they'll hire new people to fill our positions.
That imagination of yours is an absolute curse.
Yeah.
I know.
My parents wouldn't let me watch television.
You know anything about Robertson Communications? No.
How about you? Nope.
I do.
Joe? You want to hear it? Yes.
All right.
The last station they bought, they fired half the staff and made everyone else take pay cuts.
All right, where did you hear this? The guy down at the deli told me, but it's definitely true.
Okay, that's great.
They're going to fire half the staff and make everyone else take pay cuts.
Hey, you guys? You guys? I just bought this jacket.
Should I take it back? I don't know.
Okay.
It's just that I really, really like it, so if you know of any reason at all-- I don't know.
Okay, okay.
It's just it was really expensive-- We don't know.
Okay, fine.
P.
S.
Did you guys hear about the last station Robertson owned? Yes.
They fired half the staff And made everyone else get haircuts.
They can't do that, can they, Dave? All right.
The rumors are flying out here.
Oh, they're flying in here too.
What did you hear? That at the last station Robertson bought, they eliminated half-and-half and made everybody eat cold cuts.
That makes no sense.
What are they, Dave-- some kind of dairy or meat processing conglomerate? Well.
Well.
I recorded those promos you wanted.
I did a few different variations, gave you a few choices.
Have a listen.
I will.
Uh, Bill? Are you not the least bit concerned that this station is up for sale? Well, look on the bright side.
Maybe these Robertson people will send over some free cheese and salami samples from one of their factories.
Aren't you worried about losing your job? Why should I? My job's secure.
Well, what if they change the format? Yeah, what if they don't need a news announcer? Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I have other talents.
WNYX, your home for the hits in New York city.
DRAWL: WNYX, all country, all western, all the time.
Con millionas voltas, WNYX, tiene los "hits" español de la Nueva York.
Thank you.
WNYX, ala cala moshala ha mala shulo New York! Okay, Okay.
You made that one up.
Ula kuru ma hayo ha kala hy amon! What are you doing? Black armbands.
We're all going to wear them.
I mean, I only have two right now, but You only have two? Well, yeah.
They're actually my socks.
Aw, get away from me, you barefooted freak.
Something must be done, Bill.
Action must be taken.
Why don't you handcuff yourself to your desk or something? Yeah, right.
Where am I going to find a pair of handcuffs? Yours is not to reason why Yours is but to do and die John Keats, 1776.
Well, what if I have to go to the bathroom or something? Going to the bathroom is a privilege you just may lose if you sit idly by in these troubled times, my friend.
I'll cuff myself to a chair.
Now you're talking.
Okay, listen up, people.
In protest of the possible sale of this station, I am now going to handcuff myself to the chair.
My voice will be heard.
Where'd you get the cuffs, dude? Bill.
In fact, this is, uh, all Bill's idea.
Cool.
Ha ha! Ah.
Mr.
James.
Why, hey there, Matthew.
So, word travels fast, huh? Nice, uh, nice bracelets.
Yeah.
I got your attention now, don't I? Well, you certainly do.
Now, uh now what happens? You listen to a list of my demands, which include-- Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
You mean this isn't a magic trick? No.
It's a protest.
Oh.
Hey, Dave.
Well, it's about time.
Look, the Robertson people are coming over for a walk-through.
Let's see if we can get them out of here before Matthew sets himself on fire, huh? I just don't understand why you're doing this.
No, no, hey.
I didn't seek these people out.
They sought me out.
We started to talk, a relationship developed.
I'm just going to have to play this out, see what happens, you know.
All right, but it doesn't make any sense.
Mr.
James, there's someone here from Robertson Communications for you.
Oh, thanks, Bethie.
Hey.
Hey.
Very impressive operation you've got here.
Thank you.
Thank you, Jane, and you certainly brighten the place up.
Dave, this is Jane Robertson, president and CEO of Robertson Communications.
Hi.
Nice to meet you, Miss Robertson.
It is Miss Robertson, isn't it? Yes.
Nice to meet you too.
Miss Robertson would you mind giving Mr.
James and I a moment alone, please? No.
We'll do this, and you go out and meet the staff.
I'd like that.
Oh, um, what's the deal on the kid with the handcuffs? I don't know.
I don't think he works here.
Ho ho, I don't believe you.
What? She's one of your wife candidates.
No! Aw No! Oh, yes, she is.
Well, yeah, but, I mean, she wasn't one of the original candidates.
It's like I told you.
She came to me.
We started to talk, a relationship developed And now you're selling her the station.
Sir, you are a whore.
I'm not selling the station.
But, you know, a few hours in the negotiating room, I think maybe I can win her heart, huh? Oh, sir, that is so unacceptable.
I mean, to put my staff, to put your staff-- Dave, Dave, Dave, would you give me a chance here? Would you give me a chance, please? Give meuh, give me till the end of the day.
Otherwise, you know, if I break off negotiations now, I mean, she's out of here.
I'm done.
You amaze me.
This is important to me.
I am tired of sleeping single in a double bed.
Granted, it is the largest, softest, most expensive double bed available, But it's still, uh, you know, lonely in there.
[SIGH.]
Fine.
Till the end of the day? Yeah.
Thanks, Dave.
Okay.
Get out there.
Oh, wait a minute, sir.
Wait.
All right.
Here you go.
This is good.
Yeah, that's nice.
It's a very nice tie.
Let's just brighten you up a little.
All right.
Okay.
Good luck.
Check my breath? No, that's where I draw the line.
Okay.
Hey! Bill.
Ahem.
This is, uh Jane Robertson, Robertson Communications.
What a great pleasure it is to meet you.
Nice to meet you, Mister McNeal.
Bill McNeal.
Nice to meet you.
So, what are you hungry for? Well, I was hoping You probably recognize the voice.
I'm Bill McNeal.
No, I'm afraid I don't, but it was nice to meet you.
Here we go.
You know who I'd like to meet is Catherine Duke.
Con millionas voltas, tiene los "hits" español de la Nueva York! Dios mÃo.
Okay, so the most important thing to remember Is that we stick together, all right? We are a unit.
They take all of us or they take none of us.
Okay, people, let's go to plan B-- it's every man for himself.
Listen to me.
The last thing we need right now is a power struggle.
Absolutely.
I'm with you.
Good.
All those in favor of maintaining a unified front stay here.
Those of you who'd like to join my splinter group, meet me in the men's room in five minutes.
Can I please have the floor just for a second? Please? I just want to say real quick that I met this Robertson woman, and she's very, very nice, and I just want to be unlocked.
You will stay handcuffed to that chair until Jimmy decides to keep the station.
Bill, please What about your hunger strike? I never said I was on a hunger strike.
Well, start one.
Joe, that's my chair.
I don't see your name on it.
Okay, what's going on? Well, Matthew's on a hunger strike, and Bill would like us to meet him in the men's room.
And we're all going to get fired.
No, I don't think anyone's going to get fired, okay? All I know is I'm not going to get fired.
And why not? Because of this.
Why? What does that do? I'm not sure, but I took it out of the radio transmitter, and only I know where to put it back.
Now, what if we refuse to go on the air? Good idea.
Give it a try.
If it works, then I'm right there with you.
If these guys don't want to go on the air, I'd give it a shot.
Paris fell because of people like you.
[ALL ARGUING.]
You're going to end up in a hip-hop station! You stick with me! Hey! Hey! Hey! Mr.
James is not selling the station.
He's just using this as an excuse to get close to that Robertson woman.
Why? What? He's lonely, all right? Look, the point is it's over, and we can all relax.
All right? So Joe, please put that back in the transmitter.
Dave? Dave? And, Bill, would you unlock Matthew? Uh, the keys are on the top shelf.
Thank you.
Well, what top-- Can you help me with it? What top--Bill! Oh.
Oh It wasn't your breath, was it? Because I'd feel just terrible-- Dave, Dave, she broke my heart.
Jane.
Yes, Jane.
Wonderful Jane.
How could she do this to me, Dave? I know, I know, sir, it's hard, but, you know, there are lots of other women out there, and-- No, no, no, no, it's not that.
It's worse.
She made me an offer I can't refuse.
What do you mean? She actually wants to buy the station.
Well, that's--that's not a bad offer, but you could-- Oh, my! Mm-hmm.
Oh, my.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Well said.
Well, what are you going to do? I already did it.
I sold the station.
That's not exactly the path I would have chosen, but-- Oh, yes, it is.
I thought you loved owning this station.
I do, Cathy, I do, but you know my personal credo.
Actually, you know, I don't.
It's "Never let your emotions cloud a deal.
" That's rule number one.
"Never let your emotions--" Yeah, I got it.
All right.
I got a question for you.
Yeah? Are the new owners aware of how difficult it's going to be to run a station without this? What is that? I'm not saying, but I'd advise everybody to take the stairs instead of the elevator from now on.
I'd like to raise a practical question at this point.
Mm-hmm.
Why, Jimmy? Why? Are you all right? Yeah, yeah.
I was just on the, uh, elevator, and it, like, dropped in half a second.
DAVE: Bill, give me the damn keys.
BILL: Fine.
Mr.
James, is there anything we could do to talk you out of this? All right.
I'm all ears.
I'll give you five minutes.
Okay.
Anybody anything? Just give us five more minutes.
Guys, guys, it's been, like, seven hours already.
I'm starting to feel like a giant snooze-box here.
Now, Jimmy, you know in your heart that the best deal is to keep this station, right? Cathy, if I relied on my heart for business advice, I would have gone broke a long time ago.
Probably would've put all my money into stuffed animal factories or something.
Well, what about us? We're your friends.
Well, we'll still be friends.
Not if you sell the station.
Some friends.
I got it! We didn't say the magic word.
Please don't sell the station.
Joe, that's just stupid.
I thought you were trying to teach us a lesson, manners.
I don't know.
All right, look.
It's almost 12:00.
Is anybody going to try to talk me out of this? Nope because we don't have to.
Why is that, Matthew? Well, because I took the liberty of turning the clock back 10 minutes.
It is actually 12:05, which means you missed your midnight deadline.
Yes! Matthew, that 12:00 was just a loose guideline.
I'm dealing with a corporation here, not magical fairies.
Huh.
All right, every businessman is essentially a gambler, right? Yeah, gambling.
The art of getting something for nothing.
The perfect deal.
Yes.
Then what do you say we flip for it, huh? Heads, you sell the station, tails, you keep it.
Huh? I love it.
The ultimate deal.
Let's go.
Okay.
Two out of three? Okay, two out of three.
Three out of five? All right.
Four out of seven? Okay.
[SIGHS.]
Now you know why I'm rich.
Yeah, Jane, it's Jimmy.
Mr.
James, Mr.
James, hang on, hang on! Hang on for a second, Jane.
You keep the station, I will give you I'll give you $40.
Oh, 40 big boys! That's beautiful.
All right, I'll give you $49.
$49.
Yeah, that's almost $50 of my own money, Which is like a whole lot of my salary.
But you know what? I can go without lunches for a month, so that's fine.
How about 60? about 49 .
25, plus a piece of gum? Beth-- Mr.
James, that's all I got.
Now you can sell the station for millions, or you can keep the station, which is worth millions of dollars, plus you make Yeah, uh No, I'm sorry to keep you on hold, Jane.
Uh-huh.
Well, guess what? Yeah, I'm going to have to pass.
Yeah.
A better offer came along.
What can I tell you? I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Bethie, Bethie, pay up here.
There you go.
Thank you.
Wait, whoa, whoa--and? Oh, I'm sorry.
I forgot.
Oh, jeez, I didn't know it was ABC gum.
You failed to ask, sir.
Hmm.
Sneaky.
I got to respect that.
Tasty too.
Uh-huh.
Good night, people.
Good night, Mr.
James.
Okay, seeing as the crisis is now over, and it's many hours past normal quitting time, what do you say we go out and get really really drunk? Whoo-whoo! Can you buy my drinks, Dave? You got it.
Thank you.
No hard feelings about the cuffs? No, no.
Hey, come on.
I'll buy you a drink.
Thanks.
Oh, can I have my cuffs back? Oh, I already gave them to you.
No, you didn't.
They're around your left ankle.
Good night, Bill.
Matthew! So Joe was right? This was some sort of a weird trick to teach us a lesson? No.
Look.
It was a better deal.
It was a better deal, plain and simple.
You still don't get the beauty of that, do you? To be honest, I don't get it.
I really don't.
All right, all right, listen up.
Getting millions of dollars out of a corporation, that's nothing.
That's done every day, but getting almost 50 bucks out of a secretary who's going to have to brown-bag it for the rest of the month, son, that's a deal you write home about.
Uh-huh.
Okay, what? Just admit it.
Admit what? Admit that this station means something to you and the people that work here mean something to you-- Of course they do.
And that's why you didn't sell.
No, that's just crazy.
It was a sound business decision, and that's it.
Oh, come on.
Just admit it.
You let emotion cloud the deal.
Just between you and me.
Okay, what's it worth to you? Uh, five bucks? $10? $7.
50? $8.
00? Done.
Okay.
These people mean the world to me.
They're not like employees.
They're like family.
I can't imagine anything worse than having to part with them.
There.
You satisfied? Yes.
Great.
Nice doing business with you, Dave.
I'm on a hot streak here.
I can't lose! See you.
Joe? Sorry, boss.
I'm still trying to figure out where this one goes.
[.]
The, uh, snack food over by the coffee machine is for snacking purposes only.
Meaning what? Meaning don't make the snacks your primary dietary source.
Okay? Leave a cookie or two for other people.
Don't look at me.
Hmm? Don't, please.
Stop it.
No one is looking at you.
Yes, they are, Dave.
Just because I earn next to nothing, everybody assumes that I'll eat anything that's free, and that is simply not true.
No one thinks that.
I do.
Thank you, Bill.
You know what she has for lunch? Ketchup-packet soup and Tic-Tacs.
I do not, Bill.
Give the girl a raise, already.
It's making me sick.
Aw.
Oh.
Well, that's all I wanted to cover today.
Mr.
James, is there something you wanted to say? Uh, yeah.
Thanks, David.
As you all know, I've been concentrating all my energies lately on finding a wife.
And how's that going? Oh, good, good.
I've whittled my original list of 36 candidates down to 29.
So who'd you eliminate? Well, with a great deal of reluctance, I've had to scratch off Loretta Swit.
Already married? No, not that I know of.
The problem is, no one can seem to locate her.
Sir, is that what you wanted to tell us? Nope.
No.
What I wanted to say was this-- there comes a time in a man's life when change must occur.
Change, according to the great philosophers, is a catalyst for-- Yes, Beth? Uh, sir, may I be excused? I think I may have some secretarial-type duties.
Okay.
Go ahead.
I understand that.
Anybody else that's got any real work to do can go ahead, and anybody who wants to stay here and hear what I have to say can just go ahead and stay here.
So what's up? I'm selling the station.
I'm sorry.
I thought I heard you say-- You heard right.
I am currently in negotiations to sell WNYX, which is why I wanted to tell you people about it before you read it in the papers tomorrow.
Um, I think someone should check on Matthew.
Come on, sweetie.
One foot in front of the other.
Sir, who are you in negotiations with? Robertson Communications.
They own a whole bunch of AM stations, but they're good people.
This is completely bogus.
Completely bogus.
Joe, what exactly is so bogus about it? I don't know.
There's something bogus in there somewhere.
This is very upsetting.
Yes.
This really is a shock.
I know.
I know.
Which is why I wanted to spend a moment with you people, make sure you were okay.
Okay, good.
That was a nice moment.
Where are you going? I'm going to a meeting with the Robertson people.
You know what? I love the smell of a negotiating room in the morning.
It smells like, uh "Like victory.
" What? "Like victory," Apocalypse Now.
Dave, I'd love to stand here and talk movies with you, but I got a deal to close.
I'll see you, people.
Wait a minute.
Is that it? No one's going to no one's going to do anything? You're all just going to sit there and do nothing.
No, sir.
I for one am going to go get a cup of coffee.
No sale.
No sale.
Come on, guys.
No sale.
No sale! No sale! No sale! No sale! No sale! No sale! Matthew, be careful.
Aah! [.]
What do you know about these Robertson Communications people? Nothing at all.
Are they the sort of people that are going to come in here and just fire everyone, or-- No.
Let's just calm down.
All right? There's no reason to panic about this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're right.
They're not going to come in and fire everybody.
No.
They'll probably just hold us all to our contracts, and then change the format to soft rock of the '70s until we all get so sick of listening to "Afternoon Delight" that we kill ourselves, and then they'll hire new people to fill our positions.
That imagination of yours is an absolute curse.
Yeah.
I know.
My parents wouldn't let me watch television.
You know anything about Robertson Communications? No.
How about you? Nope.
I do.
Joe? You want to hear it? Yes.
All right.
The last station they bought, they fired half the staff and made everyone else take pay cuts.
All right, where did you hear this? The guy down at the deli told me, but it's definitely true.
Okay, that's great.
They're going to fire half the staff and make everyone else take pay cuts.
Hey, you guys? You guys? I just bought this jacket.
Should I take it back? I don't know.
Okay.
It's just that I really, really like it, so if you know of any reason at all-- I don't know.
Okay, okay.
It's just it was really expensive-- We don't know.
Okay, fine.
P.
S.
Did you guys hear about the last station Robertson owned? Yes.
They fired half the staff And made everyone else get haircuts.
They can't do that, can they, Dave? All right.
The rumors are flying out here.
Oh, they're flying in here too.
What did you hear? That at the last station Robertson bought, they eliminated half-and-half and made everybody eat cold cuts.
That makes no sense.
What are they, Dave-- some kind of dairy or meat processing conglomerate? Well.
Well.
I recorded those promos you wanted.
I did a few different variations, gave you a few choices.
Have a listen.
I will.
Uh, Bill? Are you not the least bit concerned that this station is up for sale? Well, look on the bright side.
Maybe these Robertson people will send over some free cheese and salami samples from one of their factories.
Aren't you worried about losing your job? Why should I? My job's secure.
Well, what if they change the format? Yeah, what if they don't need a news announcer? Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I have other talents.
WNYX, your home for the hits in New York city.
DRAWL: WNYX, all country, all western, all the time.
Con millionas voltas, WNYX, tiene los "hits" español de la Nueva York.
Thank you.
WNYX, ala cala moshala ha mala shulo New York! Okay, Okay.
You made that one up.
Ula kuru ma hayo ha kala hy amon! What are you doing? Black armbands.
We're all going to wear them.
I mean, I only have two right now, but You only have two? Well, yeah.
They're actually my socks.
Aw, get away from me, you barefooted freak.
Something must be done, Bill.
Action must be taken.
Why don't you handcuff yourself to your desk or something? Yeah, right.
Where am I going to find a pair of handcuffs? Yours is not to reason why Yours is but to do and die John Keats, 1776.
Well, what if I have to go to the bathroom or something? Going to the bathroom is a privilege you just may lose if you sit idly by in these troubled times, my friend.
I'll cuff myself to a chair.
Now you're talking.
Okay, listen up, people.
In protest of the possible sale of this station, I am now going to handcuff myself to the chair.
My voice will be heard.
Where'd you get the cuffs, dude? Bill.
In fact, this is, uh, all Bill's idea.
Cool.
Ha ha! Ah.
Mr.
James.
Why, hey there, Matthew.
So, word travels fast, huh? Nice, uh, nice bracelets.
Yeah.
I got your attention now, don't I? Well, you certainly do.
Now, uh now what happens? You listen to a list of my demands, which include-- Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
You mean this isn't a magic trick? No.
It's a protest.
Oh.
Hey, Dave.
Well, it's about time.
Look, the Robertson people are coming over for a walk-through.
Let's see if we can get them out of here before Matthew sets himself on fire, huh? I just don't understand why you're doing this.
No, no, hey.
I didn't seek these people out.
They sought me out.
We started to talk, a relationship developed.
I'm just going to have to play this out, see what happens, you know.
All right, but it doesn't make any sense.
Mr.
James, there's someone here from Robertson Communications for you.
Oh, thanks, Bethie.
Hey.
Hey.
Very impressive operation you've got here.
Thank you.
Thank you, Jane, and you certainly brighten the place up.
Dave, this is Jane Robertson, president and CEO of Robertson Communications.
Hi.
Nice to meet you, Miss Robertson.
It is Miss Robertson, isn't it? Yes.
Nice to meet you too.
Miss Robertson would you mind giving Mr.
James and I a moment alone, please? No.
We'll do this, and you go out and meet the staff.
I'd like that.
Oh, um, what's the deal on the kid with the handcuffs? I don't know.
I don't think he works here.
Ho ho, I don't believe you.
What? She's one of your wife candidates.
No! Aw No! Oh, yes, she is.
Well, yeah, but, I mean, she wasn't one of the original candidates.
It's like I told you.
She came to me.
We started to talk, a relationship developed And now you're selling her the station.
Sir, you are a whore.
I'm not selling the station.
But, you know, a few hours in the negotiating room, I think maybe I can win her heart, huh? Oh, sir, that is so unacceptable.
I mean, to put my staff, to put your staff-- Dave, Dave, Dave, would you give me a chance here? Would you give me a chance, please? Give meuh, give me till the end of the day.
Otherwise, you know, if I break off negotiations now, I mean, she's out of here.
I'm done.
You amaze me.
This is important to me.
I am tired of sleeping single in a double bed.
Granted, it is the largest, softest, most expensive double bed available, But it's still, uh, you know, lonely in there.
[SIGH.]
Fine.
Till the end of the day? Yeah.
Thanks, Dave.
Okay.
Get out there.
Oh, wait a minute, sir.
Wait.
All right.
Here you go.
This is good.
Yeah, that's nice.
It's a very nice tie.
Let's just brighten you up a little.
All right.
Okay.
Good luck.
Check my breath? No, that's where I draw the line.
Okay.
Hey! Bill.
Ahem.
This is, uh Jane Robertson, Robertson Communications.
What a great pleasure it is to meet you.
Nice to meet you, Mister McNeal.
Bill McNeal.
Nice to meet you.
So, what are you hungry for? Well, I was hoping You probably recognize the voice.
I'm Bill McNeal.
No, I'm afraid I don't, but it was nice to meet you.
Here we go.
You know who I'd like to meet is Catherine Duke.
Con millionas voltas, tiene los "hits" español de la Nueva York! Dios mÃo.
Okay, so the most important thing to remember Is that we stick together, all right? We are a unit.
They take all of us or they take none of us.
Okay, people, let's go to plan B-- it's every man for himself.
Listen to me.
The last thing we need right now is a power struggle.
Absolutely.
I'm with you.
Good.
All those in favor of maintaining a unified front stay here.
Those of you who'd like to join my splinter group, meet me in the men's room in five minutes.
Can I please have the floor just for a second? Please? I just want to say real quick that I met this Robertson woman, and she's very, very nice, and I just want to be unlocked.
You will stay handcuffed to that chair until Jimmy decides to keep the station.
Bill, please What about your hunger strike? I never said I was on a hunger strike.
Well, start one.
Joe, that's my chair.
I don't see your name on it.
Okay, what's going on? Well, Matthew's on a hunger strike, and Bill would like us to meet him in the men's room.
And we're all going to get fired.
No, I don't think anyone's going to get fired, okay? All I know is I'm not going to get fired.
And why not? Because of this.
Why? What does that do? I'm not sure, but I took it out of the radio transmitter, and only I know where to put it back.
Now, what if we refuse to go on the air? Good idea.
Give it a try.
If it works, then I'm right there with you.
If these guys don't want to go on the air, I'd give it a shot.
Paris fell because of people like you.
[ALL ARGUING.]
You're going to end up in a hip-hop station! You stick with me! Hey! Hey! Hey! Mr.
James is not selling the station.
He's just using this as an excuse to get close to that Robertson woman.
Why? What? He's lonely, all right? Look, the point is it's over, and we can all relax.
All right? So Joe, please put that back in the transmitter.
Dave? Dave? And, Bill, would you unlock Matthew? Uh, the keys are on the top shelf.
Thank you.
Well, what top-- Can you help me with it? What top--Bill! Oh.
Oh It wasn't your breath, was it? Because I'd feel just terrible-- Dave, Dave, she broke my heart.
Jane.
Yes, Jane.
Wonderful Jane.
How could she do this to me, Dave? I know, I know, sir, it's hard, but, you know, there are lots of other women out there, and-- No, no, no, no, it's not that.
It's worse.
She made me an offer I can't refuse.
What do you mean? She actually wants to buy the station.
Well, that's--that's not a bad offer, but you could-- Oh, my! Mm-hmm.
Oh, my.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Well said.
Well, what are you going to do? I already did it.
I sold the station.
That's not exactly the path I would have chosen, but-- Oh, yes, it is.
I thought you loved owning this station.
I do, Cathy, I do, but you know my personal credo.
Actually, you know, I don't.
It's "Never let your emotions cloud a deal.
" That's rule number one.
"Never let your emotions--" Yeah, I got it.
All right.
I got a question for you.
Yeah? Are the new owners aware of how difficult it's going to be to run a station without this? What is that? I'm not saying, but I'd advise everybody to take the stairs instead of the elevator from now on.
I'd like to raise a practical question at this point.
Mm-hmm.
Why, Jimmy? Why? Are you all right? Yeah, yeah.
I was just on the, uh, elevator, and it, like, dropped in half a second.
DAVE: Bill, give me the damn keys.
BILL: Fine.
Mr.
James, is there anything we could do to talk you out of this? All right.
I'm all ears.
I'll give you five minutes.
Okay.
Anybody anything? Just give us five more minutes.
Guys, guys, it's been, like, seven hours already.
I'm starting to feel like a giant snooze-box here.
Now, Jimmy, you know in your heart that the best deal is to keep this station, right? Cathy, if I relied on my heart for business advice, I would have gone broke a long time ago.
Probably would've put all my money into stuffed animal factories or something.
Well, what about us? We're your friends.
Well, we'll still be friends.
Not if you sell the station.
Some friends.
I got it! We didn't say the magic word.
Please don't sell the station.
Joe, that's just stupid.
I thought you were trying to teach us a lesson, manners.
I don't know.
All right, look.
It's almost 12:00.
Is anybody going to try to talk me out of this? Nope because we don't have to.
Why is that, Matthew? Well, because I took the liberty of turning the clock back 10 minutes.
It is actually 12:05, which means you missed your midnight deadline.
Yes! Matthew, that 12:00 was just a loose guideline.
I'm dealing with a corporation here, not magical fairies.
Huh.
All right, every businessman is essentially a gambler, right? Yeah, gambling.
The art of getting something for nothing.
The perfect deal.
Yes.
Then what do you say we flip for it, huh? Heads, you sell the station, tails, you keep it.
Huh? I love it.
The ultimate deal.
Let's go.
Okay.
Two out of three? Okay, two out of three.
Three out of five? All right.
Four out of seven? Okay.
[SIGHS.]
Now you know why I'm rich.
Yeah, Jane, it's Jimmy.
Mr.
James, Mr.
James, hang on, hang on! Hang on for a second, Jane.
You keep the station, I will give you I'll give you $40.
Oh, 40 big boys! That's beautiful.
All right, I'll give you $49.
$49.
Yeah, that's almost $50 of my own money, Which is like a whole lot of my salary.
But you know what? I can go without lunches for a month, so that's fine.
How about 60? about 49 .
25, plus a piece of gum? Beth-- Mr.
James, that's all I got.
Now you can sell the station for millions, or you can keep the station, which is worth millions of dollars, plus you make Yeah, uh No, I'm sorry to keep you on hold, Jane.
Uh-huh.
Well, guess what? Yeah, I'm going to have to pass.
Yeah.
A better offer came along.
What can I tell you? I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Bethie, Bethie, pay up here.
There you go.
Thank you.
Wait, whoa, whoa--and? Oh, I'm sorry.
I forgot.
Oh, jeez, I didn't know it was ABC gum.
You failed to ask, sir.
Hmm.
Sneaky.
I got to respect that.
Tasty too.
Uh-huh.
Good night, people.
Good night, Mr.
James.
Okay, seeing as the crisis is now over, and it's many hours past normal quitting time, what do you say we go out and get really really drunk? Whoo-whoo! Can you buy my drinks, Dave? You got it.
Thank you.
No hard feelings about the cuffs? No, no.
Hey, come on.
I'll buy you a drink.
Thanks.
Oh, can I have my cuffs back? Oh, I already gave them to you.
No, you didn't.
They're around your left ankle.
Good night, Bill.
Matthew! So Joe was right? This was some sort of a weird trick to teach us a lesson? No.
Look.
It was a better deal.
It was a better deal, plain and simple.
You still don't get the beauty of that, do you? To be honest, I don't get it.
I really don't.
All right, all right, listen up.
Getting millions of dollars out of a corporation, that's nothing.
That's done every day, but getting almost 50 bucks out of a secretary who's going to have to brown-bag it for the rest of the month, son, that's a deal you write home about.
Uh-huh.
Okay, what? Just admit it.
Admit what? Admit that this station means something to you and the people that work here mean something to you-- Of course they do.
And that's why you didn't sell.
No, that's just crazy.
It was a sound business decision, and that's it.
Oh, come on.
Just admit it.
You let emotion cloud the deal.
Just between you and me.
Okay, what's it worth to you? Uh, five bucks? $10? $7.
50? $8.
00? Done.
Okay.
These people mean the world to me.
They're not like employees.
They're like family.
I can't imagine anything worse than having to part with them.
There.
You satisfied? Yes.
Great.
Nice doing business with you, Dave.
I'm on a hot streak here.
I can't lose! See you.
Joe? Sorry, boss.
I'm still trying to figure out where this one goes.
[.]