Nip/Tuck s06e13 Episode Script

Joel Seabrook

NARRATOR: Previously on Nip/Tuck.
- Why are you with me, Christian? You think I'm stupid.
You hate yourself like I do.
I always go back to you because you hate me the best.
Will you marry me? SEAN: Christian loves you, and he is faithful to you.
I don't know who he is.
I don't know who I am.
KIMBER: We're bad.
Like, this is really bad.
- How come I don't feel guilty? Curtis, I gotta tell you, I was shocked when I heard you won the Poland Award.
We're lucky though, you know, Sean? Most poor bastards they never get to find out what their true purpose in life is.
Usually we ask our new clients what they don't like about themselves but in this case I think we can figure it out.
- What happened, a car accident? JOEL: Physics.
Hundred-seventy pound man falls 245 feet quickly reaching a maximum velocity of 86 miles an hour before he hits the water four seconds later.
Which doesn't sound like a long time, but it's a freaking eternity.
- And was this a suicide attempt? - Yeah.
At the most clichéd spot on the planet, the Golden Gate Bridge.
And you survived the fall.
You heh, must be one in a million.
Close.
About 1200 people have jumped from the bridge.
A conservative estimate.
The current's so strong, they assume more have jumped without being seen and been swept out to sea or taken by sharks.
Only about 40 of us have lived to tell the tale.
Why'd you do it? What my partner means is we're gonna need a complete psychological picture before we can agree to operate on you.
I don't mind talking about it.
I'm as sane as the next guy.
My psychiatrist agrees.
- You ever try and kill yourself? - No.
- What about you, Dr.
Troy? - You know, I've had rough patches but I guess I've always been able to find pleasure in my life somehow.
Well, that's lucky.
Yeah, I guess I'm just kind of a naturally depressive personality.
Heh.
Which, I guess, is obvious.
Just Life's just been, you know, hard for a while.
My son died of leukemia.
He was 14 years old.
You know, marriages don't survive that kind of thing and I just felt this kind of darkness building up inside me.
The edges of it disappeared and it felt like it kind of swallowed me up.
Wasn't even painful anymore.
Everything just was so hard.
Except jumping.
Heh.
Jumping was easy.
JOEL: I remember I didn't want anybody to see me go over the rail like I didn't wanna get in trouble somehow.
And I went over the rail, and there's a lip, and I stood there and then I just stepped.
I mean, the way, you know, you step out of bed in the morning.
I stepped.
And I thought to myself, "No, not this.
Go back.
Stop, go back!" By second two, I knew I wanted to live.
I've never been so sure of anything in my life.
- What did you do? - Um Well, most of the people who have survived landed feet first.
So I somehow managed to flip myself over and hit the water like a blade of grass.
I mean, it still felt like a cinder block to the balls, though.
Broke two vertebrae in my pelvis and, you know, obviously the reason I'm here.
Broke all 14 bones in your face, but your jaw is remarkably intact.
Mr.
Seabrook, ahem we may not be able to make you look the way you looked before.
I don't care about that.
I just wanna look normal.
Jumping gave me a second chance to live my life, to follow my dreams.
I wanna go back to school, maybe become a therapist start dating again.
You know, maybe have [CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Maybe have another kid.
You must be in a lot of pain.
You know how they say when you die, your life flashes before your eyes? It's not true.
You don't see all the things you've done.
You see all the things you're never gonna get a chance to do.
All the opportunities you're gonna lose.
I didn't jump to my death.
I jumped to my life.
I just need you to help me live it.
[MOANING.]
Baby, that feels so good.
[EXHALES.]
Okay, come inside me.
[EXHALES.]
Aren't you? No.
I mean, no, I'm good.
I don't need to.
You do it.
Come on.
[MOANING.]
[KIMBER MOANING.]
Oh, my God, Sean.
[MOANING.]
[BOTH SIGH.]
Oh, my God, that was insane.
[CHRISTIAN GRUNTING.]
That was weird.
Why? I'm not used to you not coming.
Well, I don't always need to come.
[SIGHS.]
I do.
Honey, we're married.
We have, like, a lifetime of orgasms ahead of us.
We're good.
It's good.
It's all good.
[SIGHING.]
SEAN: Why stay with him? - Are you suggesting that you and l? - No.
I wanna know.
Why stay with him if it makes you so unhappy? I don't know.
The same reason you do, I guess.
Gotta feel sorry for the guy, huh? Unlucky bastard.
He survived a fall from the Golden Gate Bridge.
How's that unlucky? He went from being depressed and suicidal to completely delusional in 700 feet.
- He really thinks he's gonna change his life.
- You don't believe him? How many times have you sworn off drinking and wake up with a hangover? Having a hangover and attempting suicide are not the same thing.
You would know, I guess.
What's that supposed to mean? People don't change because they think they're gonna die and then get a second chance.
- You had cancer.
You thought you were gonna die.
That didn't give you courage to look at life differently? For about a week, yeah, maybe, all right? I think there's no way you can't change after something like that.
So tell me, how is your life so different since you swam out to the buoy? At a certain age, you accept who you are and stop thinking there's something better.
You're right.
You haven't changed at all.
You married Kimber and still screw around every chance you get.
Which reminds me, I was having lunch at Shutters the other day.
Picked up these two hot sisters who both wanna go up two cup sizes.
They're coming in on Thursday.
Unbelievably hot, trust me.
I told them that'd be cool.
Is that cool with you? Why don't you finish up here? I forgot I have a meeting I need to get to.
We have a consult after this.
CHRISTIAN: Tell me what you don't like about yourself, Mr.
Wise.
Don't get the wrong idea.
I wasn't trying to kill myself.
Mr.
Wise, the gash around your neck was clearly made by a belt.
Probably spiked, from the sharp indentations left at perfectly spaced intervals.
The skin's been ripped and twisted, not a surprising consequence when you try to hang yourself.
- Kudos, Sherlock.
Spiked belt it was.
Although you haven't solved the case just yet.
I wasn't trying to commit suicide.
I was masturbating.
Autoerotic asphyxiation.
Gone awry.
My bad.
I just need you to fix this so that I can stop wearing scarves and turtle necks when it's 80 degrees outside.
I liked you better when I thought you tried to kill yourself.
You risked dying for an orgasm? It wasn't just an orgasm.
It was the orgasm, of a lifetime.
[CHUCKLES.]
You have no idea.
[SIGHS.]
Cutting off the blood supply to the brain provides an amazing high.
- I do have an idea, actually.
- Better than any drug you've ever had I've ever had.
Heh-heh.
Includes quite an extensive list, I can tell you.
- Don't knock it if you haven't tried it, doc.
- Thanks but I can usually find someone to help me out.
- Call it the perks of being married.
- Oh, all right.
Been there, divorced that.
All I'm saying is you cut off the flow of blood and oxygen to the brain, your dick gets unbelievably hard.
It's why these guys who are hung get these huge boners and ejaculate when they die.
It's called induced Induced cerebral anoxia, I know.
That's right.
You get this euphoria.
It's like having one foot in heaven.
So I take it you're gonna continue with this practice even after I repair the damage to your neck? Don't worry, doc.
I'll stick to silk ties from now on.
Same high without the ring around the collar.
Look, I'm asking you to fix this, not how I choose to come.
Judge not.
Right? [SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
- Excuse me.
- May I help you? Yeah.
I'm looking for Dr.
Ryerson.
- Is he expecting you? - We spoke earlier on the phone.
- I'm Sean McNamara.
- Oh, Dr.
McNamara.
Yes.
I'm Nsolo.
Curtis told me you were coming by.
You and your partner were the only recipients of the Poland Award this year.
Congratulations.
Follow me, please.
Hey, Sean, thanks for coming.
Hey, how was your drive? - Just fine.
Fine.
- Good.
Let me know if there's anything you need while in San Diego, anything at all.
Thanks.
Nsolo stepped on a landmine in Angola.
He was a beggar at the airport when we met him and now he practically runs the center when I'm on the road which is about 10 months of the year.
- I'm glad you were in town.
I've been wanting to see your operations since we talked.
Here it is, in all its glamour.
- Not exactly Beverly Hills, but - That's a good thing.
So what's going on with Christian? Oh.
He's still sucking the champagne and caviar out of life.
After the ceremony, you took off so quickly I thought Sorry, I had to jump on the next flight.
There was an emergency at the office.
I cannot tell you how many trips I've had to cut short and hop on a plane.
I remember once, a crop duster came and picked us up on the Serengeti on the way to a malaria outbreak in Darfur.
An angry herd of wildebeests chases us down the runway.
I kid you not.
Barely got out of there with our necks.
Wow.
Heh.
The closest I've come to anything like that would be bumper to bumper on the 405 with Christian, who's in a bad mood because he's late for his massage.
[LAUGHS.]
That's why I called you.
I'm here because I wanna help.
So, what can I do? Well, we are flying a 12-year-old girl in from Jakarta on Thursday.
Her husband cut her face with a machete when she fought off his rape attempt.
What we need is a surgeon and an OR.
Consider it done.
You sure about this? I mean, maybe think about it? Talk to Christian? No, I don't need to talk to Christian.
This is something I wanna do.
Something I probably should have done a long time ago.
All right.
Well, I'll set it for Thursday.
Great.
This is really gonna make a difference, Sean.
What are you doing? - I wanna make my baby happy.
- But I'm half as If my baby's not happy then I'm not happy.
- I'm half asleep.
- Look.
Just tell me what you want.
Anything.
I want you.
- Don't worry about me, I'm fine.
- You don't seem fine to me.
Come on.
[CHRISTIAN GRUNTS.]
[CHRISTIAN MOANS.]
- Yeah, Kim, baby.
- Ah! - What are you doing? - Trust me, trust me, trust me, baby.
You gotta trust me.
You're gonna have the come of your life, I promise.
Okay? Trust me.
[BOTH MOANING.]
- Look at me.
Look at me.
Trust me.
- Oh.
Okay.
[GASPING.]
[SCREAMS.]
Oh, my God.
Aah! Aah! Oh, my God.
Yeah.
[COUGHS THEN CLEARS THROAT.]
That's my baby.
[PANTING.]
Next time, you're doing me, baby.
Oh [SIGHS.]
Sorry, partner, I was performing a "slipindicktomy.
" Heh.
We in high school? You have to brag about having sex with your wife? We are not talking about sex, partner.
I gave Kimmie the orgasm of her lifetime, okay? I mean, Kimmie's toes curled up like the wicked witch of the east.
That's all because of Mr.
Wise in there.
Seriously.
We were having a marital problem.
The sex was all, whatever.
Anyway, I took his advice and tried erotic asphyxiation.
You choked your wife? Come on.
It's not like I'm O.
J.
I know how to deal with the pressure.
- I'm a doctor.
- Oh, you're right.
It's very romantic.
- Trust me.
Kimber loved it.
- Not as much as you did though.
- What's that supposed to mean? - Everything is about power for you.
You're not satisfied unless you're dominating your partner.
You live with your hand on her throat, might as well screw her that way.
- Jeez, what's up your ass today? - Kimber deserves better than this.
If you're having problems, try talking about it.
Okay, Mr.
Marriage-Counselor-Guy.
You're giving me advice, right? Last time I checked, you've been divorced How many times? Same as me, right? And since when do you care about Kimber so much? Guys, are you clean enough? The guy's been under for six minutes.
[SIGHS.]
[KNOCKING.]
Sean, what? Sean? - No, no, no.
No talking.
No talking.
- Well Mmp.
Oh.
Mmp.
- Isn't that what you like now? - No.
Sean.
Sean.
Ah.
Sean, stop it! [SIGHS.]
Jesus.
Kimber.
Hey, look, I know about the choking.
He told me.
I just wanna know if you're okay.
It's fine.
It's not as bad as it looks.
[SIGHS.]
Maybe you should get somebody to look at that, you know? Sean, stop it.
I really I really don't want you to touch me right now, okay? I came here because we need to stop doing this.
[SIGHS.]
Okay.
Okay? Just okay? What do you want me to say, "Stay, we can work it out"? I would have thought maybe you'd have a little bit more feeling than that for me.
It's never what this was about.
You know that.
Okay.
Then I guess that's it.
- You're not going back to him, are you? - He's my husband, Sean.
You deserve better.
I know.
The only reason why I haven't been able to get it is because I'm fooling around with his best friend.
And I am just as much to blame for my own unhappiness as anybody.
And if I'm gonna get what I deserve I need to take a little bit of responsibility, refocus on my marriage.
Even if that means being completely honest with him.
How long you been going behind my back, you cheating bastard? I come in this morning expecting to be waist deep in double-D's.
Instead, I find my two bimbos out in the lobby trying to reschedule.
Oh, cool your jets.
We'll fit your bimbos in and I promise this won't cost you a penny.
- Good to see you, Christian.
- I don't give a shit.
If you're operating on somebody who needs it, fine.
- There's a first.
CHRISTIAN: And what about him? I mean, where did he come from? The last time we saw each other, you were too embarrassed to say goodbye.
Now you're working together in our surgical suite.
Curtis said he needed some help and I jumped at the opportunity.
- And you forgot to tell me? - I didn't think you'd care.
Bullshit.
You knew exactly what you were doing.
- Why don't you scrub in? You can help us.
- No, thank you.
I have no desire to be around Sean while he's got his tongue so far up your ass.
Sorry about that.
Guess you never got around to telling him you're gonna be gone to Africa for a month.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Sorry to interrupt.
We really do need to get a "do not disturb" sign on that door.
Nurse Linda has to come in, she needs to take your vitals.
That's fine.
I'm I'm through.
Yeah, maybe you should go finish off in the bathroom.
Really, it's not worth the effort.
I've had farts that were more exciting.
[CHUCKLES.]
Why don't we take a look, huh? - How's it look? - Looks pretty good.
Very good, in fact.
How's the patient doing? - Depressed.
- That's just the anesthesia wearing off.
- You'll be fine in a couple of days.
- Bullshit.
I've been rubbing myself raw, fantasizing my ass off.
Sex without asphyxiation is about as exciting as Day without sunshine? Right.
I forgot.
Heh.
- You like me better suicidal.
- Oh, no, no.
I don't.
I mean, I did, but I don't.
[CHUCKLES.]
I've been having some trouble in my marriage and I think you might have just helped it.
She was a little scared at first.
Thought I was trying to choke her to death or something.
- And? - It worked.
[LAUGHS.]
Probably the greatest orgasm I've ever seen.
How was it when she did you? Blow your mind or what? No, no, no.
Better at giving than receiving.
Well, it depends what you're receiving.
Believe me, if you wanna discover your capacity for limitless ecstasy go beyond what you ever thought possible, get her to return the favor.
[CHUCKLES.]
Your marriage will last forever.
Well, I think the neck's coming along fine.
As long as you stay off the windpipe for a couple of months, maybe forever you'll be good.
Do you know what it's like to have experienced heaven and now be denied entry? You know, I think I'll get you a couple of girl-on-girl action videos.
I'll talk to my anesthesiologist, get a recommendation.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[SIGHS.]
- Hey, handsome.
- Hi, honey.
I'm just gonna jump on the treadmill before we get to dinner.
- Yeah? - Mm-hm.
- What? - Come over here.
- What? - Sit.
What are you doing? You look like a bitch in heat, Kimmie.
- Do I? - Yeah.
Well, I'm actually a tigress, and you are a tortoise.
- Tortoise? - Mm-hm.
- That's exciting.
- I've been reading the Kama Sutra book.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
You're not the only creative lover.
Oh, I like creative.
Why don't you get me off like I got you off? Well, I'm not really into that sort of thing.
Come on.
- Mm-mm.
- No? But I want you to lay back.
Spread your legs.
[UNZIPS.]
[BOTH MOANING.]
Give me your hands.
Come on.
Come on, tighter.
Yeah.
Oh! Oh! Oh, Christian.
Oh, that's so good.
Oh! - Oh! - What are you doing? What? You don't come like that with me.
That's But I'm having an orgasm.
You faked that.
- No, I did not.
- Yes, you did.
Bullshit.
- Filthy old porn trash.
- Oh, thanks.
I'm sorry.
This is the only time I've done it, okay? I've never done it before.
Why should I believe that? Because I'm not into the choking thing.
It freaks me out.
- Why didn't you tell me? - I feel guilty.
Guilty? What the hell for? [DOOR SLAMS.]
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
I think that you have made the right decision.
There's not much choice.
It's peach or blueberry.
I overheard Ryerson on his cell after you two worked on that girl the other day.
You're going with him to Africa.
I just want you to know I think it's really great.
I mean, I do hate you for leaving, but I do understand.
And by the way, when the hell were you gonna tell me? I mean, should I update my résumé? It hasn't sunk in yet.
What did Christian say? - I haven't told him - Oh.
yet.
- Hmm.
Don't say anything, okay? You know, it's funny after all these years of you changing people and you being the one who needed it.
[EXHALES.]
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
Ah [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
CHRISTIAN: Shit head was right.
Feels like an orgasm everywhere.
My feet, my shoulders.
Oh, God, I'm gonna come.
[CHRISTIAN GASPING.]
Get up and take the belt off.
Oh, shit, I can't move.
There's not enough I can't feel I can't breathe.
Stand up and the take the goddamn belt off.
Get up.
Get up.
[DOOR OPENS.]
KIMBER: Christian.
Christian.
Christian.
Jesus Christ.
Baby, oh, my God.
Oh, no.
[GRUNTING.]
Baby? Baby? Christian, honey? Christian? Christian.
Christian? Jesus Christ.
Hi, can you come right away, please? [KIMBER'S VOICE ECHOING.]
- No.
- Are you okay? Are you sure you don't want them to come? Did you try and kill yourself? What is it, the choking thing, honey? If it is, I don't care.
I'll do it.
I'll do whatever you want.
I'll be a slave if you want.
- I don't want a slut.
- I didn't mean it like that.
- That's not what I meant.
- Yes, it is.
I had this moment of clarity just before I lost consciousness.
[CHRISTIAN SIGHS.]
You'll never make me happy.
I can never love you enough.
- Baby, you are not thinking clearly.
You don't have enough oxygen in your brain.
You don't know what you're saying.
I've never felt so clear.
Christian, we've hit a rough patch.
You don't break up because of it.
We said for better or worse, remember? Yeah.
- I can't do that part.
- Okay, then look, this is my fault.
It's my fault.
I've been a bad wife and I've done really bad things but I'm so sorry, and I'll make it up to you and I know that you'll love me again.
Can you hear what you're saying? I'm not good for you.
I'm meant to be alone.
[SNIFFLING.]
[KIMBER SIGHS.]
KIMBER: He kicked me out.
That's it, it's over.
He's done with me now.
I've heard that before.
How many hundreds of times? [SNIFFLES.]
No, it's different this time.
You should have seen the look on his face.
We're like two strangers.
I mean, the guy doesn't even like me.
Good.
He's doing you a favor, Kimber.
It's a gift.
[CRYING.]
But I don't want that kind of gift.
I want one that includes him.
One for us.
- I mean, he's where I belong.
- Not anymore.
Maybe you never did.
All right? Maybe it was just your fear of not belonging anywhere that made you so stuck.
It doesn't matter now.
All that matters now is what are you gonna do? This is your opportunity, Kimber.
Jump.
Take the leap.
Find out who you are without him telling you're not good enough pretty enough, smart enough.
Do it, before you get too old and you can't.
I'm not like you Sean.
I don't hate Christian.
And I certainly don't wanna be him either.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[WOMAN LAUGHING.]
Sit down.
Take a load off.
Don't drink too much.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER.]
MIKE: Hey.
Hi.
What's with the bad mood? [SIGHS.]
Well, I don't really enjoy hanging out with a bunch of Hollywood skanks.
Oh, come on, they're nice girls, Kimber.
You said we were gonna be alone.
You'll get your turn.
There's more than enough Mike to go around.
[WHISPERING.]
Just give me a second, I'll be right there.
I believe April is next.
Excuse me.
I thought I was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.
So did I.
Wow.
Crazy times, huh? I tell you, it's a good thing you kicked my ass to the curb that final time.
I mean, it's taken a shit load of curves, but I think I finally got the message.
I'm sorry about that.
It was shitty.
And I don't have an excuse other than I was obsessed with Christian.
But I don't feel that way, and you're so good to me and we're good together, and I just I really, in my heart, feel that two people that are right for each other need to spend the rest of their lives together.
Honey, I've got more bumps and bruises than a rodeo clown.
I can handle the pain, but after a while you just get tired of being laughed at.
[SIGHS.]
Listen do me a favor, will you, Kimber? I've got a Chateau Mouton-Rothschild 1986 over at the bar.
Would be a sweetie and go get it? [WOMEN LAUGH.]
And bring a corkscrew.
MIKE: Hey.
Kimber, the wine? Not yet.
I'm planning to take him to his favorite strip club and drop the bomb there, let naked women soften the blow.
Uh No, not anymore.
He kicked his wife out.
Listen, Curtis, I was thinking we could author an article together based on this trip.
I have an idea for a new procedure on patients with neurofibromatosis.
Great.
Okay.
Yeah.
We'll talk about it when I see you in a few days.
Ah.
I gotta go.
Okay, bye.
What? [SIGHS.]
Kimber fell off a boat last night.
She's She's missing.
What? Whose boat? Mike's.
Coast Guard thinks she Thinks she's dead.
Wait, I don't understand what happened.
She She slipped and fell off the boat? - Mike thinks she jumped.
- Jumped? Yeah.
Suicide? But the Coast Guard is still searching, so they could still find her.
Well, it's been 12 hours and you can't survive in the water that long, you know? [SCOFFS.]
I kicked her out last night.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
I told her I wanted her out of my life.
[EXHALES.]
I should have [MUTTERS.]
[SOBBING.]
I don't know what to do.
There you are.
Dr.
McNamara? I wanted to thank you and Dr.
Troy for the excellent care I've received here.
- Is he around? - No, he's You look like you're healing well, Mr.
Seabrook.
I feel great.
Today really is the first day of the rest of my life.
I'm not gonna let a day pass doing things I don't wanna do or feeling ways I don't wanna feel.
Good for you.
I wish you luck with everything.
Hope the same for you, Dr.
McNamara.
All right.
Goodbye.

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