No Man Left Behind (2016) s01e04 Episode Script
The One That Got Away
1 CHRIS RYAN: TODAY, THINGS ARE COMING UP THAT, YOU KNOW, I HAVEN' THOUGHT ABOUT FOR 25 YEARS.
I DON'T REALLY WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT.
VINCE: GO, GO TO THE LEFT! FALL BACK! BROADCASTER: SADDAM HUSSEIN FIRED SEVEN SCUD MISSILES AT TEL AVIV THIS AFTERNOON.
GEORGE W BUSH: WE'LL END THE NIGHTMARE OF IRAQ'S BRUTAL OCCUPATION.
CHRIS RYAN: WHEN THEY CALL THE SAS IN, IT'S NOT DO NEGOTIATIONS.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: CONTACT! CHRIS RYAN: IT'S TO RESOLVE A SITUATION WITH VIOLENCE.
AT THIS POINT, THINGS STARTED GETTING REALLY SERIOUS.
THIS IS IT, IT'S THE LAST STAND.
FRIENDS WHO HAVE A, YOU KNOW, A NICE CIVILIAN JOB, YOU CAN'T TELL THEM WHAT YOU'VE SEEN.
WHY SHOULD YOU? WHY SHOULD YOU SPOIL THEIR DAY? SO YOU END UP WITH ALL THEM BAD IMAGES STUCK IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD.
ALL OF THAT CRAP IS COMPACTED IN YOUR HEAD AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE ABILITY TO TUCK IT AWAY IN A DRAWER AND STICK A LOCK ON IT, IT'S GONNA CATCH YOU AND IT'S GONNA DRAG YOU DOWN.
I FELT I'D BEEN ABANDONED IN THE DESERT.
YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU COME HOME, YOU CAN THEN FEEL VERY LONELY AS WELL BECAUSE I THINK PART OF YOU IS LEFT IN THE DESERT.
YOU KNOW, THERE IS A BIG THING ABOUT, YOU KNOW, POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS AND EVERYTHING ELSE.
I THINK BASICALLY TIME'S A GREAT HEALER.
BUT WHO KNOWS, YOU KNOW? I'M VERY COMFORTABLE WALKING IN THE MOUNTAINS.
YOU FORGET ABOUT, YOU KNOW, THE BAD TIMES.
YOU KEEP WALKING AND THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT.
BUT THINGS CAN CATCH ME OUT AND IT COULD BE AN IMAGE, IT CAN BE A SOUND.
THE SAS ARE BRITAIN'S SPECIAL FORCES.
WE DEPLOYED OUT TO THE MIDDLE EAST IN JANUARY, 1991.
OUR EIGHT MAN PATROL WAS TASKED TO INSER 140 MILES INTO IRAQ, PU IN TWO OBSERVATION POINTS TO LOCATE MOBILE SCUD LAUNCHERS.
BASICALLY, AS SOON AS A SCUD WENT PAST, WE WOULD THEN CALL IN COALITION AIRCRAFT AND THEY WOULD DESTROY THAT SCUD MISSILE.
EVERY INDIVIDUAL HAD DOUBTS ABOUT THE MISSION.
WE WERE GOING TO LAND 140 MILES AWAY FROM FRIENDLY LINES.
THE INTELLIGENCE OFFICER HAD SAID, "IF IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GONNA BE CAPTURED, YOU'RE BETTER OFF PUTTING A BULLET INTO YOUR HEAD, SO SAVE ONE FOR YOURSELF.
" BUT IF YOU'RE NO PREPARED TO TAKE THE RISKS, THEN YOU SHOULDN' WEAR THE BERET.
LISTENING TO THE PILOT, FIVE MINUTES, TWO MINUTES, ONE MINUTE, AND YOU CAN HEAR THE PITCH OF THE HELICOPTER CHANGING.
YOU GET A BLAST OF COLD AIR.
FIRST THING THAT HI ME WAS HOW COLD IT WAS.
IN THE DISTANCE, THERE WAS DOGS BARKING.
WE HAD TO MOVE.
VINCE: MOVE OUT.
CHRIS RYAN: WE DECIDED TO GET DROPPED ABOUT 2 MILES SOUTH OF OUR TARGET POINT.
WHAT YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER, IN 1991 THE SATELLITES WEREN'T AS WE HAVE TODAY, SO WE HAD TO HAVE EYES ON THE GROUND.
EVERYTHING WAS PRETTY BASIC, SO IT MEANT EIGHT MEN GOING UP THERE AND DIGGING AN OBSERVATION POS WHERE WE COULD OBSERVE THIS MAIN SUPPLY ROUTE, AND THEN HIDING THERE AND BEING SELF-SUFFICIEN FOR TEN DAYS.
NOW, IT WAS FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING.
DAWN WAS COMING.
THESE WADI SYSTEMS, THEY'RE DRIED RIVER BEDS AND WE GOT INTO ONE OF THESE AND WE COULD MAKE OUT THE MAIN SUPPLY ROUTE.
IT WAS JUST A SERIES OF DIRT TRACKS.
AND THE NEXT THING I SAW WAS TWO GUNS POINTING UP, AN ANTI-AIRCRAFT POSITION.
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
THAT WEAPON'S ARC WAS COVERING THE WADI WE'D WALKED UP AND THA WAS OUR ESCAPE ROUTE.
VINCE: KEEP COMMS UP AND REQUEST TO RELOCATE.
CHRIS RYAN: YOU DON' STICK AN ANTI-AIRCRAF POSITION IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE FOR NO REASON, SO THE ONLY THING WE COULD THINK OF IS THERE WAS TROOPS IN RESERVE OR THERE WAS A MILITARY INSTALLATION.
NOW, IF WE GET INTO TROUBLE OR COMPROMISED, TROOPS FROM THA INSTALLATION WILL BE ON TOP OF US WITHIN MINUTES.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: HELLO, ZERO ALPHA, THIS IS BRAVO TWO ZERO.
RADIO CHECK, OVER.
CHRIS RYAN: WE SET THE RADIO UP AND WE STARTED HAVING PROBLEMS GETTING THROUGH, ESTABLISHING COMMUNICATIONS.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: RADIO CHECK, OVER.
CHRIS RYAN: I CAN REMEMBER THAT FEELING, YOU KNOW, AS IT, YOU KNOW, AS IT WAS YESTERDAY.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S A MIXTURE OF SEVERAL EMOTIONS.
IT'S ANGER, IT'S POSSIBLY FEAR.
I KNEW AT THIS POIN IF ONE THING GOES WRONG, THIS WHOLE OPERATION WILL GO DOWN THE TOILET IN A BIG WAY.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: HELLO, ZERO ALPHA, THIS IS BRAVO TWO ZERO.
RADIO CHECK, OVER.
[RADIO STATIC.]
CHRIS RYAN: IT WAS SOME TIME IN THE AFTERNOON.
TWO, THREE O'CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON WHEN, OUT OF THE BLUE, WE HEARD A VOICE.
[MAN SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
CHRIS RYAN: AND IT WAS A YOUNG KID'S VOICE AND IT WASN'T FAR FROM US.
[BOY SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: TAKE COVER, LADS.
[BOY SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
CHRIS RYAN: THERE WAS A KID COMING IN WITH ABOU 15, 20 GOATS.
IT'S ONLY A BOY.
IF HE SEES US, IT'S FINISHED.
WE BASICALLY DIDN'T HAVE ANY OPTIONS.
IF WE'D MANAGED TO BRING HIM DOWN AND HOLD HIM THERE, HE WOULD HAVE GONE MISSING, SOMEBODY WOULD HAVE GONE LOOKING FOR HIM.
ALSO, IF WE JUMP UP ONTO THE DESERT FLOOR, THAT ANTI-AIRCRAFT POSITION, THEY'RE GONNA SEE US STRAIGHT AWAY.
YOU COULD HEAR HIS VOICE AND IT'S GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER AND CLOSER.
[BOY SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
[GOATS BLEET.]
[COWBELLS CLANK.]
CHRIS RYAN: DID HE SEE YOU? VINCE: NO.
CHRIS RYAN: WE WEREN' 100% SURE THAT WE HAD BEEN COMPRISED BUT, HAVING SAID THAT, HE RAN OFF AND THIS KID, WHEN HE'S RUNNING BACK, THIS KID AIN' RUNNING BACK TO TELL HIS MUM.
OK, WELL, HE SAW SOMETHING.
WE'VE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: AGREED.
CHRIS RYAN: THERE'S A BIG CHANCE NOW OF SOLDIERS TURNING UP.
THE FEAR LEVELS GO THROUGH THE ROOF.
YOU KNOW, YOUR HEART IS POUNDING.
ANY NOISE, YOUR ATTENTION'S DRAWN TO THA 'CAUSE YOU'RE JUS WAITING, YOU KNOW, FOR IT TO GO WRONG.
SUDDENLY WE HEARD A SQUEAKING METALLIC SOUND.
TANK.
TANK! YOU KNOW, THAT JUST SENDS DREAD THROUGHOUT YOUR HEART.
WE KNEW WE WERE BOXED IN.
THIS TANK, ALL IT HAD TO DO IS PUT ONE PLACED ROUND INTO THAT WADI AND IT WOULD KILL US ALL.
AND WE COULD HEAR THIS NOISE GETTING LOUDER AND LOUDER AND LOUDER.
COULD HEAR THE ENGINE, EVERYTHING.
IT'S JUST ELECTRIC.
AND THE NEXT THING THA CAME ROUND THE CORNER, A YELLOW BULLDOZER.
THERE WAS A GUY DRIVING IT AND HE HAD THE BLADE UP, AND YOU'RE TRYING TO THINK, "WHAT'S THIS ABOUT?" AND HE JUST REVERSED BACK AND DISAPPEARED.
NOW WE KNOW WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED TOTALLY HERE.
WE DECIDED WE WERE GONNA WALK OUT IN DAYLIGH AND TAKE THE RISK.
I SUGGESTED WE TOOK OUR SHEMAGS OFF AND WRAP THEM ROUND OUR HEADS TO COVER OUR WHITE FACES.
THEY CERTAINLY WOULDN'T BE EXPECTING COALITION FORCES TO BE THIS FAR INSIDE OF IRAQ.
THE PATROL WAS FOLLOWING, EVERYTHING WAS FINE AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I LOOKED UP TO MY LEFT.
THERE WAS TWO IRAQIS.
LADS, WE GOT COMPANY.
CLOSE IN.
PULL IN.
JUST KEEP WALKING.
KEEP MOVING.
VINCE: THEY LOOK LIKE MILITIA.
MIGHT NOT KNOW WHO WE ARE THOUGH.
CHRIS RYAN: THEIR CLOTHING, IT WAS A MIXTURE OF MILITARY AND CIVILIAN, BUT THEY HAD THESE AK-47'S SLUNG OVER THEIR SHOULDERS.
YOU'RE THINKING, "RIGHT, WHY ARE THEY STANDING THERE? ARE THEY EXPECTING US?" AND THEN AT SOME POINT I JUST THOUGHT, "I'LL TRY AND WAVE AT THEM, LIKE AS A BLUFF.
" I THINK THEY'RE LETTING US PAST.
[GUNFIRE.]
CHRIS RYAN: PUSH ON, PUSH IT ON! VINCE: CONTAC TO THE LEFT! CHRIS RYAN: ALL OF A SUDDEN, TWO VEHICLES TURNED UP.
VINCE: GO, GO! CHRIS RYAN: STRAIGHT AWAY, THE FIREFIGHT HAPPENED.
EVERYBODY WAS OPENING UP.
VINCE: CONTACT, TO THE LEFT! CHRIS RYAN: THE EIGHT OF US, WE WERE CAUGH IN A KILLING FIELD.
VINCE: FALL BACK! CHRIS RYAN: 'CAUSE I'VE HEARD GUYS SAYING, "I WAS NEVER FRIGHTENED DURING A FIREFIGHT.
" WELL, I'M SORRY, BUT I DON'T BELIEVE THEM.
IN SOME CASES, FEAR IS A VERY GOOD THING IF YOU CAN CONTROL IT.
SETH! WE WERE SHOUTING AT ONE ANOTHER.
HALF OF US WOULD BE FIRING AND ANOTHER HALF WOULD BE MOVING.
EVERYTHING IS INSTINCTIVE AND YOU'RE JUS LOOKING, RETURNING, MOVING.
[GUNFIRE.]
THE GROUND WOULD START SPURNING.
YOU WOULD HEAR THE CRACK AND THUMP WHICH WAS A ROUND PASSING YOUR HEAD.
WE'D BEEN ASSURED THA IF EVERYTHING WENT WRONG, JUST USE YOUR TACBE, TACTICAL BEACON.
SO I PULLED THE PIN AND JUST STARTED SCREAMING IN THERE, "TURBO, TURBO, TURBO, THIS IS BRAVO TWO ZERO.
" TURBO, TURBO, THIS IS BRAVO TWO ZERO, CONTACT.
"CONTACT, CONTACT," AND NOTHING WAS COMING OUT.
TURBO, TURBO, THIS IS BRAVO TWO ZERO, CONTACT, CONTACT! WHAT BECAME APPARENT WAS THE BERGENS ARE TOO HEAVY, WE CAN'T MOVE.
YOUR LUNGS ARE LOCKED SOLID.
IT'S AS IF SOMEBODY'S POURED CONCRETE INTO THEM.
IRAQI MAN: AH! VINCE: WATCH OUT, [INAUDIBLE.]
KNACKER'D! SAS TEAM MEMBER: MINE'S NOT WORKING EITHER! CHRIS RYAN: WE'D COME INTO LINE OF SIGH OF THE ANTI-AIRCRAFT POSITION.
THESE ROUNDS JUST TEAR YOU IN TWO.
[GROUP SPEAKING INAUDIBLY.]
.
CHRIS RYAN: WE DROPPED OUR BERGENS.
YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THAT'S GONNA SAVE YOU IS IN THAT BERGEN, THE RADIOS, YOUR WARM CLOTHES, YOUR FOOD.
ANYTHING YOU NEED TO SURVIVE IN HAS JUST GONE.
THAT'S IT, YOU'RE LIVING IN WHAT YOU'RE STANDING UP IN.
TURBO, TURBO, THIS IS BRAVO TWO ZERO, OVER.
AS I DROPPED MY BERGEN, YOU KNOW, I STARTED MAKING A FEW BOUNDS AWAY FROM IT AND I COULD REMEMBER SOMETHING, THEN I JUST THOUGHT, "THERE'S NO WAY I'M LEAVING THAT BEHIND.
" VINCE: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING? [GUNFIRE.]
CHRIS RYAN: AFTER I HAD IT, I CAN REMEMBER DOING ANOTHER BOUND THINKING, "THAT WAS A STUPID THINK YOU'VE JUST THEN.
" AND WHEN THE EIGHT OF US GOT TOGETHER AND NOBODY WAS SHOT, IT DID NOT MAKE SENSE.
IT WAS LIKE DIVINE INTERVENTION AND ON ANY OTHER DAY THEY COULD HAVE HAD ALL EIGHT OF US.
MY WIFE HAD GIVEN ME THAT HIP FLASK FOR CHRISTMAS AND IT WAS FULL OF WHISKY.
I GUESS THAT HIP FLASK WAS THE ONLY THING THAT I HAD WITH A FAMILY CONNECTION.
IN DAYS TO COME, THA HIP FLASK WAS GONNA PROVE TO BE A HUGE MORALE BOOSTER EVERY DAY.
AT THIS POINT NOW, THE PLAN IS TO MAKE TO THE EMERGENCY RV WHERE WE WERE GONNA BE PICKED UP BY A HELICOPTER.
WE HAD A PROCEDURE OF 48 HOURS OF NO COMMS.
THEY WOULD SEND A HELI IN, 2000 HOURS.
AS FAR AS EVERY MAN WAS CONCERNED, WE WERE GONNA LEAVE THAT NIGHT.
AS WE GOT INTO THE DROP OFF POINT, SITTING THERE CLOCK WATCHING, LOOKING AT THE MINUTES PASSING BY, ONCE IT GOT TO ABOU QUARTER TO EIGHT, THINKING, "IT'S COMING, IT'S COMING.
" TEN TO EIGHT, "IT'LL BE HERE IN A MINUTE.
" FIVE TO EIGHT AND THEN IT GOT TO EIGHT O'CLOCK.
IT'S NOT COMING.
YOU REALIZE YOU'VE BEEN ABANDONED AND YOU THINK, "OK, RIGHT," SO WHAT YOU DO, YOU PICK YOURSELF UP.
RIGHT, LADS, WE ARE 75 MILES FROM THE SYRIAN BORDER.
IF WE GET OUR FINGERS OUT, WE CAN DO THAT IN A DAY.
I SUGGEST WE DO A DOG LEG AND GO SOUTH TOWARDS THE SAUDI BORDER.
THAT'S WHAT THEY THINK WE'RE GONNA DO AND WE'LL DRAW THEM IN THERE.
THEN WE'LL TURN RIGH AND RIGHT AGAIN TOWARDS THE SYRIAN BORDER.
AGREED? VINCE: IT'S A GOOD PLAN.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.
CHRIS RYAN: WHAT YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER, IN 1991 IF ANY OF OUR COALITION AIRCRAFT CRASHED OR WAS SHOT DOWN AND THE PILOTS MADE IT INTO SYRIA, THEY WOULD BE HANDED BACK TO THE COALITION FORCES SO, YOU KNOW, WE FELT SAFE IF WE GOT INTO SYRIA THA WE'D BE ALL RIGHT.
ALL WE HAD TO DO IS WALK THE 75 MILES AND WE'RE HOME FREE.
WELL, YOU WERE SHROUDED IN DARKNESS.
YOU KNOW, YOU'D HEAR OCCASIONALLY SOMEBODY STUMBLE OR YOU'D HEAR A ROCK MOVE AND WE WALKED MAYBE, I DON'T KNOW, SEVERAL HOURS AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, AS I TURNED 'ROUND, STAN WAS THERE, VINCE WAS THERE AND THERE WAS NOBODY ELSE, AND MY HEART JUS ABSOLUTELY SINKS.
HOLDING THAT NIGHT SIGH UP THERE, I CAN SEE THE DIFFERENT SHADES OF THE DESERT AND I COULD SEE A GOOD DISTANCE AWAY AND I JUST, NOBODY THERE.
OH, BLOODY HELL.
AT 0030, I KNEW WE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO MOVE ON.
IT WAS A HUGE BLOW BECAUSE WE WERE A WEAK UNI AS AN EIGHT MAN PATROL.
NOW WE'RE THREE.
IT CAN'T GET ANY WORSE, IT JUST CAN'T GET WORSE.
BUT IT WAS GONNA GET A LOT WORSE.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: PULL BACK! CHRIS RYAN: WE WERE WALKING ON A BEARING TO THE EUPHRATES RIVER BECAUSE WE DESPERATELY NEEDED WATER.
WE'D COVERED THAT MUCH DISTANCE, SOMEWHERE IN THE REGION OF ABOUT 50 MILES, WE'D ALL DEVELOPED BLISTERS.
I KNEW BY MY WATCH THA FIRST LIGHT WAS COMING UP AND THE NEXT THING THA I STARTED WORRYING ABOUT, THERE WAS NO COVER.
THIS DAY IS TATTOOED ON MY BRAIN.
I'VE BEEN TO SOME OF THE COLDEST PLACES ON EARTH AND NEVER EXPERIENCED COLD LIKE IT THIS PARTICULAR DAY.
WE CAME ACROSS A TANK BERM, WHICH WAS AN ABSOLUTE GODSEND, AND IT'S EARTH THAT'S BEEN PILED UP ON THREE SIDES AND IT'S FOR A TANK TO REVERSE IN; AND AS FIRST LIGH STARTED TO COME, WE COULD SEE A BUILDING AND IT HAD AN ANTENNA COMING FROM IT AND THERE WAS AT LEAS TWO SOLDIERS AROUND IT.
WE'RE TRAPPED, WE CAN'T MOVE, SOMEBODY'S GONNA HAVE TO KEEP AN EYE ON THESE GUYS.
I OBVIOUSLY FELL ASLEEP.
IT WAS THE NEXT MOMENT, I CAME TO WITH PINS AND NEEDLES ON MY FACE.
OH BLOODY HELL.
COLD HAS A CERTAIN TYPE OF PAIN.
IT'S TERRIFYING.
VINCE: CHRIS, I'M GOING DOWN.
CHRIS RYAN: NO YOU'RE NOT, MAN, YOU'RE NOT.
WE'RE ALL COLD.
I KNEW WE WERE IN TROUBLE NOW.
IT WASN'T THE IRAQIS, IT WAS THE WEATHER THAT WAS GONNA KILL US.
NIGHT FELL AND THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME AND IT HIT ME LIKE A SLEDGEHAMMER.
NOW IN HINDSIGHT, I DIDN' REALIZE HOW BAD EVERYBODY WAS.
VINCE: NOT DOING TOO WELL HERE, MATE.
CHRIS RYAN: WITH HYPOTHERMIA, YOU THINK YOU'RE ACTING NORMALLY AND ACTUALLY YOU'RE MAKING HUGE MISTAKES AND NOT THINKING STRAIGHT.
[INAUDIBLE MUMBLING.]
WHEN I SAY HORRENDOUSLY COLD, WE WERE MOMENTS FROM DEATH.
VINCE WAS SHOWING ALL THE CLASSIC SIGNS OF SUFFERING FROM HYPOTHERMIA.
VINCE: I WANNA SIT DOWN.
CHRIS RYAN: HE WOULD START SHOUTING.
VINCE: I WANNA SIT DOWN! CHRIS RYAN: VINCE, WE CAN' STOP, WE GOTTA KEEP MOVING.
VINCE: MY HANDS, THEY'RE BLACK.
I CAN'T FEEL THEM, THEY'RE BLACK.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: SHHH, VINCE! CHRIS RYAN: VINCE, QUIET! HE WAS CONVINCED HIS HANDS HAD FROSTBITE.
VINCE, SHOW ME YOUR HANDS, MATE.
COME ON.
VINCE: THEY'RE BLACK, I CAN' FEEL THEM, THEY'RE BLACK.
CHRIS RYAN: COME ON, MATE, SHOW ME YOUR HANDS.
VINCE: THEY'VE GONE BLACK.
CHRIS RYAN: I WAS HIS BLACK GLOVES.
HE HAD BLACK LEATHER GLOVES ON.
ALL RIGHT, MATE.
MY MINDSET WAS TO TRY TO BE NICE TO HIM.
YOU PUT YOUR HANDS IN YOUR POCKETS, THE COLOR'LL SOON COME BACK, ALL RIGHT? YOU'RE DOING REALLY WELL.
NOW, COME ON, VINCE, POP THEM IN YOUR POCKETS, MATE.
VINCE: I CAN'T.
CHRIS RYAN: KEEP MOVING MATE, ALRIGHT? VINCE: I CAN'T, I CAN'T.
CHRIS RYAN: WHEN I TOLD VINCE, YOU KNOW, JUST, FOR A MOMENT.
WE'RE GONNA BE OU OF HERE SOON, MATE.
WE'RE GONNA GO SOMEWHERE WARM, ALL RIGHT? VINCE: I DON' KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
CHRIS RYAN: AND THEN, I HAD A DIFFERENT APPROACH.
VINCE YOU GOTTA PULL YOUR FINGER OUT, OTHERWISE YOU WON' SEE YOUR DAUGHTER AGAIN, YOU WON'T SEE YOUR FAMILY AGAIN, ALL RIGHT? YOU GOTTA GET OFF YOUR ASS AND MOVE.
WE'VE GOTTA KEEP GOING, VINCE, COME ON.
VINCE: YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
CHRIS RYAN: GOOD MAN.
I SHOULD HAVE RECOGNIZED ALL OF THESE CLASSIC SIGNS OF HYPOTHERMIA.
WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE IS TIED HIM TO ME.
I SHOULD HAVE LASHED HIM TO ME.
STAN: WE'VE LOST VINCE.
CHRIS RYAN: WE WALKED FOR SOME PROBABLY 40 MINUTES GOING BACK TOWARDS THE ENEMY AND IT WAS ME AND ME ALONE THAT SAID, "WE'RE CALLING THIS OFF AND WE'VE GOT TO GET BACK ONTO OUR ROUTE.
" SADLY, YOU KNOW, IN MY HEART OF HEARTS, I KNOW HE DIED THAT NIGHT.
THEN IT'S A HORRIBLE, IT'S A HORRIBLE FEELING.
I THINK EVERYBODY DEALS WITH PROBLEMS DIFFERENTLY, BUT FOR ME I PUT THEM AWAY.
BUT AS WE'RE DOING THIS, THINGS ARE COMING UP THAT, YOU KNOW, I HAVEN' THOUGHT ABOUT FOR 25 YEARS.
I DON'T REALLY WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT.
LIGHT WAS JUST COMING UP.
THE NEXT THING THA HAPPENED, WE HEARD THE DREADED GOAT BELLS COMING IN ON A BREEZE.
THERE WAS A LONE FIGURE THERE AND THEY HAD PROBABLY, YOU KNOW, 100 WADIS TO GO INTO AND THEY CAME INTO OURS.
AT THIS POINT, THE GENEVA CONVENTION FOR ME HAD GONE OUT THE WINDOW AND I WAS LOOKING AT THIS GUY.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO STICK HIM.
I'M NOT GOING THROUGH THIS AGAIN.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO HIM.
I, I'LL, I'LL STICK HIM.
I'LL KILL HIM.
STAN: WE CAN'T DO THAT, HE'S A CIVILIAN.
CHRIS RYAN: I'M THINKING, "WE'VE GOTTA DO THIS GUY AND IT'S GOTTA BE QUICK.
" STAN: LET ME TALK TO HIM, HE COULD HELP US.
CHRIS RYAN: YEAH, BUT WE CAN'T LET HIM COME IN HERE AND COMPROMISE US STAN: SORRY, MATE.
CHRIS RYAN: BUT STAN JUMPED UP AND GRABBED HIM.
STAN: ALL RIGHT, MATE? HEY! NO, NO, NO, NO, CALM DOWN.
IT'S ALL RIGHT, COME WITH ME, COME WITH ME.
HEY, COME HERE, MATE, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
CHRIS RYAN: STAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MATE? STAN: HE MIGH HAVE A TRACTOR.
HERE, [MAKES ENGINE NOISES.]
, DO YOU KNOW A TRACTOR? DO YOU HAVE A TRACTOR? CHRIS RYAN: STAN WAS SAYING, "TRACTOR, TRACTOR.
" [MAN SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
STAN: YEAH, WHERE, WHERE? CHRIS RYAN: AND THIS GUY KEPT SAYING [SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
AND THAT'S, "YES, YES, YES.
" STAN: WHERE'S YOUR TRACTOR? WHERE'S YOUR FARM? CHRIS RYAN: AH, COME ON, MAN.
HE'S JUST SAYING YES TO EVERYTHING, MATE.
WE CAN'T TRUS ANYTHING HE'S SAYING.
STAN: THIS IS WHAT'S GONNA HELP US.
HE'S GONNA TAKE US TO HIS TRACTOR, ALL RIGHT? CHRIS RYAN: TAKE US WHERE, MATE? I WAS HORRIFIED AND SHOCKED THAT HE WAS GONNA TAKE THAT RISK.
STAN: WE'RE NOT GONNA LAST ANOTHER NIGHT LIKE THIS, ALL RIGHT? THE ONLY WAY WE'RE GETTING OUT IS DRIVING OUT.
THIS IS THE ONLY WAY.
COME WITH US, PLEASE.
CHRIS RYAN: YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, MATE.
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
I WILL WAIT FOR YOU UNTIL LAST LIGHT, ALL RIGHT? IF YOU'RE NO BACK, I'M GONE.
STAN: RIGHT, I'M OFF, COME ON, MATE, COME ON.
CHRIS RYAN: STAN.
STAN: LET'S GO.
CHRIS RYAN: STAN! IT WAS HORRIBLE, WATCHING HIM GO.
[MAN SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
CHRIS RYAN: AND THEN I SAT THERE FOR THE NEX THREE HOURS, I THINK IT WAS.
6:30 CAME AND I GOT UP AND STARTED WALKING.
THAT'S IT, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
I WAS WALKING ON A BEARING HEADING TO THE EUPHRATES TO GET WATER.
I CAN REMEMBER LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER AND THERE WAS A SET OF LIGHTS AND I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW, I WAS WRONG, HE'S DONE I AND HE'S GETTING A VEHICLE AND HE'S COME BACK.
STAN, YOU BELTER.
THE FIRST SET OF LIGHTS WERE FOLLOWED BY A SECOND SET OF LIGHTS.
THAT WAS THE SIGNAL FOR SEVERAL THINGS.
STAN HAD EITHER BEEN CAPTURED OR THE GOAT HERDER HAD BROUGHT THEM BACK ONTO MY POSITION.
IT WAS TOO LATE, THEY WERE ONTO ME.
I KNEW I WAS IN TROUBLE.
THE ADRENALINE KICKS IN.
I CAN REMEMBER PULLING THE MAGAZINES OUT AND THEN PILING THEM UP ON FRONT OF ME, MAKING SURE THERE WAS A GRENADE IN THE 203.
THIS IS IT, IT'S THE LAST STAND.
SOMETHING WEN THROUGH MY HEAD.
IT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND THE THOUGHT WAS, "MY DAUGHTER'S NO GONNA KNOW WHERE HER DAD DIED IN THE DESERT.
" [GROUP SCREAMING AND SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
[GUNFIRE.]
[GUNFIRE.]
CHRIS RYAN: WHEN THEY CALL THE SAS IN, IT'S NOT TO DO NEGOTIATIONS, IT'S TO RESOLVE A SITUATION WITH VIOLENCE.
YOU THROW EVERYTHING AT IT.
YOU HIT I HARD AND PRECISE.
IN A SITUATION LIKE THAT, YOU'RE IN A SURVIVAL MODE AND IT'S DOWN TO THE BASICS OF THEM OR US AND IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT.
STAN: I'M COLD.
VINCE: I'M GOING DOWN.
CHRIS RYAN: AT FIRST LIGHT, I FELT I HAD A HUGE WEIGHT ON MY SHOULDERS.
IT JUST SEEMED TO DAWN ON ME THAT I WAS BY MYSELF.
FOR SOME BIZARRE REASON, A MEMORY CAME FLASHING BACK FROM WHEN I WAS A CHILD AT HOME.
MY MOM, SHE TURNED ROUND AND SAID, "YOU KNOW, IF ANYTHING GETS ON TOP OF YOU, JUST HAVE A GOOD CRY.
" [LAUGHS.]
.
I CAN REMEMBER SITTING GOING, "WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?" AND, ANYWAY, AS I WAS SAT WITH THIS ROCK BEHIND ME, I TRIED TO CRY AND EVERY TIME I TRIED TO CRY, I COULDN'T.
[LAUGHS.]
.
OH, CHRIS, WHA ARE YOU DOING, MAN? BUT WHAT IT DID IS ACTUALLY MADE ME LAUGH.
AH.
I'D WALKED 130 MILES UP UNTIL THIS POINT.
I HADN' EATEN FOR SIX DAYS.
I NEEDED WATER DESPERATELY.
IT HAD BEEN ABOU THREE TO FOUR DAYS SINCE I HAD ANYTHING TO DRINK.
SLEEP DEPRIVATION AS WELL, IT WAS JUST TORTURE.
YOU'RE NO HAVING A NIGHTMARE, YOU'RE LIVING THE NIGHTMARE.
I GOT DOWN TO THE RIVER AND THERE WAS A PUMPING HOUSE.
I CAN STILL SEE MYSELF WANDERING ROUND THIS FACILITY.
I WASN'T GUARDED, I WASN'T GOING ROUND IN A TACTICAL POSITION, HOLDING MY WEAPON UP, LOOKING.
IT'S NEARLY A MADNESS AND THERE WAS A GLOW OF LIGH COMING FROM ONE OF THE WINDOWS.
I WAS LIKE A MOTH BEING DRAWN TO THE LIGHT.
AND JUST BEING HORRIFIED TO SEE AN IRAQI SOLDIER IN THERE, YOU KNOW, SLEEPING.
IT'S A SHOCK, I MEAN, A TOTAL SHOCK AND IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW, GET A GRIP.
THERE WAS A HOUSE WITH ONE OF THESE TYPICAL MURALS OF SADDAM HUSSEIN LOOKING UP AT THE SKY AND I WAS MESMERIZED BY IT.
[DOGS BARKING.]
AND THEN THERE WAS MOVEMENT.
YOU'RE THINKING WHAT, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE DONE.
YOU'VE SCREWED UP, YOU'RE IN THIS PLACE, YOU'RE GONNA GET CAUGH AND THEN IT WAS WHAT DO YOU DO? DO YOU SHOOT? I DIDN'T HAVE A SILENCED WEAPON, SO THAT'S DEFINITELY NOT ON THE CARDS.
DO I HOPE THA THEY'LL WALK PAST ME OR DO I HAVE A CRACK AT THEM? IF THEY COME PAST, DO I DO IT? CHRIS RYAN: THE FIRST ONE, I STRUCK HIM AND THEN WEN FOR THE OTHER ONE AND WE SCRAPPLED AND THEN I GOT A HOLD OF HIM AND I PU BOTH MY HANDS ROUND HIS NECK AND THEN MY LEGS AROUND HIS HIPS.
THEN I, I KILLED HIM AND THEN MOVED THE BODIES DOWN TOWARDS THE RIVER.
WHEN I THINK BACK IN TERMS OF MY MENTAL STATE, I THINK YOU GO THROUGH PERIODS OF AGGRESSION.
YOU DON'T THINK IF THIS IS ANIMALISTIC OR, YOU KNOW, IF THIS IS WRONG AND THE FACT IS YOU'RE LIVING A THAT POINT, ONCE THE ADRENALINE'S KICKING IN, YOU MOVE AWAY AND THEN EVERYTHING'S MATTER OF FACT IN TERMS OF I NEED WATER.
ROUND THE BACK OF THIS BUILDING, THERE WAS WHA I THOUGHT WAS A SPRING.
IT WAS RUNNING AS CLEAR AS BOTTLED WATER.
I IMMEDIATELY PU MY BOTTLES IN THERE, FILLED THEM AND THEN MOVED OFF.
DAWN WAS ONLY MINUTES AWAY FROM HERE AND I HAD TO HIDE IMMEDIATELY AND WHAT I CAME ACROSS WAS THREE CULVERTS.
I PICKED THE DIRTIEST ONE OR THE ONE I COULDN'T SEE THROUGH.
I GOT MY WATER BOTTLE OU AND TOOK A LARGE GULP OF WATER WHICH BURNT MY MOUTH AND IT WAS LIKE ACID SO I TOOK THE LID OFF THE OTHER ONE.
IT WAS REALLY, REALLY TOXIC AND IT HURT.
I COULDN'T WORK OU WHAT I'D PUT IN MY WATER BOTTLES TO TAINT THIS WATER.
ACTUALLY, THAT WATER WAS COMING FROM THE REACTORS FROM THE CHEMICAL PLAN THAT WAS FULL OF EFFLUENT, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
THAT NIGHT, I CARRIED ON WALKING.
I KNEW I WAS GONNA DIE IN THE NEXT PROBABLY 24 HOURS.
MY BODY WAS CLOSING DOWN.
I STARTED REALLY DOUBTING THAT I WAS EVER GONNA GET THERE.
EACH DAY I'M WALKING 27 MILES AND I'VE GOT ANOTHER POSSIBLY 27 MILES TO THE BORDER.
DURING THE CHRISTMAS BEFORE I DEPLOYED, JUS SOMETHING VERY SIMPLE, IT WAS SITTING WATCHING TV, MY WIFE HAD SAID, "SWITCH THE CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTS ON.
" MY DAUGHTER, SHE SAID, "NO, I'LL DO IT, DAD.
" ANYWAY, THIS NIGHT, SOMETHING VERY, VERY, VERY BIZARRE HAPPENED, UM [HEAVY SIGH.]
DAUGHTER: DADDY.
CHRIS RYAN: OUT OF NOWHERE, SHE WAS STANDING IN FRONT OF ME.
SHE WAS PUTTING HER HAND OUT FOR ME TO GRAB.
EVERY TIME I WENT TO GRAB HER HAND, SHE WOULD MOVE.
IT'S SOMETHING THAT I CAN'T EXPLAIN.
IT CATCHES ME OU EVEN, YOU KNOW, NOW.
I FIND IT VERY, VERY DIFFICULT TO TALK ABOUT.
NOW I'VE READ A LOT OF STORIES ABOUT YOUNG MEN IN, YOU KNOW, THE FIRS WORLD WAR, SECOND WORLD WAR.
THEY'LL EITHER CALL FOR GOD OR THEY'LL CALL FOR THEIR MOTHER OR THEY'LL CALL FOR THEIR WIFE.
FOR ME, IT WAS MY DAUGHTER AND I SUPPOSE THAT'S WHAT PUSHED ME ON.
THEY SAY THE BODY CAN GO FOR THREE DAYS WITHOU WATER THEN, YOU KNOW, YOU DIE.
WELL, I WAS COMING ON FOR MY FOURTH DAY.
YOUR BRAIN STARTS TO SHRINK AND IF I DIDN' HAVE WATER FOR ANOTHER DAY, I WOULD BE DEAD.
AH.
I CERTAINLY WASN' 100% CONVINCED THA I WAS OUT OF IRAQ.
THERE WAS A STATIC NOISE IN MY HEAD AND A BLINDING FLASH AND IT FELT LIKE SOMEBODY HAD PUNCHED ME IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HAD HAPPENED.
I CARRIED ON WALKING.
THE SECOND TIME IT HAPPENED, IT WAS JUST A CRACKLING GOING [MAKES NOISE.]
.
CHRIS RYAN: WHEN I CAME TO, I'D HIT MY NOSE ON THIS ROCK, IT WAS BROKEN, AND I'D LAID THERE FOR SEVERAL HOURS AND THE THING I SAID TO MYSELF IS, "COME ON, SWITCH ON.
THAT'S A STUPID PLACE TO FALL ASLEEP.
" I COULD SEE, THIS BUILDING, SMOKE COMING FROM IT.
I'D MADE THE DECISION IF I'M IN SYRIA, IT'S FINE.
IF I'M STILL IN IRAQ, I'LL GO UP THERE AND I'LL KILL EVERYBODY AND I'LL TAKE THE WATER.
[SYRIAN MAN SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
[CHRIS SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
SYRIA? SYRIA? I WAS POINTING A THE GROUND SAYING, "SYRIA, SYRIA, SYRIA?" AND HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.
IRAQ, IRAQ.
SYRIAN MAN: IRAQ, IRAQ.
CHRIS RYAN: SYRIA.
SYRIAN MAN: SYRIA, SYRIA.
CHRIS RYAN: I CAN HONESTLY SAY, FOR THE SEVEN DAYS AND EIGHT NIGHTS, WHAT I WANTED TO DO WAS GET OU THAT COUNTRY AND THAT WAS MY GOAL.
WHEN I LOOK BACK ACROSS THAT BORDER, I FELT SAFE.
BUT I DIDN'T FEEL PLEASED; I COULDN'T SMILE.
HE CAME OUT WITH A SILVER BOWL WITH CLEAN, FRESH, COLD WATER.
[MAN SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
AND IT HAD BEEN FOUR DAYS SINCE I'D DRANK ANY WATER.
ONCE YOU GET HOME, THE FIRST THING IS YOU THINK OF YOUR COLLEAGUES THAT AREN'T COMING BACK AND THE DEVASTATION ON THEIR FAMILIES.
THEN YOU THINK OF THE OTHER SIDE AND THE DEVASTATION, YOU KNOW, THE IRAQIS WENT THROUGH AND WHAT DID WE ACHIEVE FROM THAT? WELL, THERE IS NO GOOD THAT COMES OU OF ANY TYPE OF WAR.
IT'S HAPPENED SO YOU'VE GOT TO ACCEPT IT AND JUS MOVE ON AND I THINK IF YOU LET IT PLAY ON YOUR MIND, YOU'D GO CRAZY.
BUT, YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE JOB.
I DON'T REALLY WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT.
VINCE: GO, GO TO THE LEFT! FALL BACK! BROADCASTER: SADDAM HUSSEIN FIRED SEVEN SCUD MISSILES AT TEL AVIV THIS AFTERNOON.
GEORGE W BUSH: WE'LL END THE NIGHTMARE OF IRAQ'S BRUTAL OCCUPATION.
CHRIS RYAN: WHEN THEY CALL THE SAS IN, IT'S NOT DO NEGOTIATIONS.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: CONTACT! CHRIS RYAN: IT'S TO RESOLVE A SITUATION WITH VIOLENCE.
AT THIS POINT, THINGS STARTED GETTING REALLY SERIOUS.
THIS IS IT, IT'S THE LAST STAND.
FRIENDS WHO HAVE A, YOU KNOW, A NICE CIVILIAN JOB, YOU CAN'T TELL THEM WHAT YOU'VE SEEN.
WHY SHOULD YOU? WHY SHOULD YOU SPOIL THEIR DAY? SO YOU END UP WITH ALL THEM BAD IMAGES STUCK IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD.
ALL OF THAT CRAP IS COMPACTED IN YOUR HEAD AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE ABILITY TO TUCK IT AWAY IN A DRAWER AND STICK A LOCK ON IT, IT'S GONNA CATCH YOU AND IT'S GONNA DRAG YOU DOWN.
I FELT I'D BEEN ABANDONED IN THE DESERT.
YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU COME HOME, YOU CAN THEN FEEL VERY LONELY AS WELL BECAUSE I THINK PART OF YOU IS LEFT IN THE DESERT.
YOU KNOW, THERE IS A BIG THING ABOUT, YOU KNOW, POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS AND EVERYTHING ELSE.
I THINK BASICALLY TIME'S A GREAT HEALER.
BUT WHO KNOWS, YOU KNOW? I'M VERY COMFORTABLE WALKING IN THE MOUNTAINS.
YOU FORGET ABOUT, YOU KNOW, THE BAD TIMES.
YOU KEEP WALKING AND THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT.
BUT THINGS CAN CATCH ME OUT AND IT COULD BE AN IMAGE, IT CAN BE A SOUND.
THE SAS ARE BRITAIN'S SPECIAL FORCES.
WE DEPLOYED OUT TO THE MIDDLE EAST IN JANUARY, 1991.
OUR EIGHT MAN PATROL WAS TASKED TO INSER 140 MILES INTO IRAQ, PU IN TWO OBSERVATION POINTS TO LOCATE MOBILE SCUD LAUNCHERS.
BASICALLY, AS SOON AS A SCUD WENT PAST, WE WOULD THEN CALL IN COALITION AIRCRAFT AND THEY WOULD DESTROY THAT SCUD MISSILE.
EVERY INDIVIDUAL HAD DOUBTS ABOUT THE MISSION.
WE WERE GOING TO LAND 140 MILES AWAY FROM FRIENDLY LINES.
THE INTELLIGENCE OFFICER HAD SAID, "IF IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GONNA BE CAPTURED, YOU'RE BETTER OFF PUTTING A BULLET INTO YOUR HEAD, SO SAVE ONE FOR YOURSELF.
" BUT IF YOU'RE NO PREPARED TO TAKE THE RISKS, THEN YOU SHOULDN' WEAR THE BERET.
LISTENING TO THE PILOT, FIVE MINUTES, TWO MINUTES, ONE MINUTE, AND YOU CAN HEAR THE PITCH OF THE HELICOPTER CHANGING.
YOU GET A BLAST OF COLD AIR.
FIRST THING THAT HI ME WAS HOW COLD IT WAS.
IN THE DISTANCE, THERE WAS DOGS BARKING.
WE HAD TO MOVE.
VINCE: MOVE OUT.
CHRIS RYAN: WE DECIDED TO GET DROPPED ABOUT 2 MILES SOUTH OF OUR TARGET POINT.
WHAT YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER, IN 1991 THE SATELLITES WEREN'T AS WE HAVE TODAY, SO WE HAD TO HAVE EYES ON THE GROUND.
EVERYTHING WAS PRETTY BASIC, SO IT MEANT EIGHT MEN GOING UP THERE AND DIGGING AN OBSERVATION POS WHERE WE COULD OBSERVE THIS MAIN SUPPLY ROUTE, AND THEN HIDING THERE AND BEING SELF-SUFFICIEN FOR TEN DAYS.
NOW, IT WAS FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING.
DAWN WAS COMING.
THESE WADI SYSTEMS, THEY'RE DRIED RIVER BEDS AND WE GOT INTO ONE OF THESE AND WE COULD MAKE OUT THE MAIN SUPPLY ROUTE.
IT WAS JUST A SERIES OF DIRT TRACKS.
AND THE NEXT THING I SAW WAS TWO GUNS POINTING UP, AN ANTI-AIRCRAFT POSITION.
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
THAT WEAPON'S ARC WAS COVERING THE WADI WE'D WALKED UP AND THA WAS OUR ESCAPE ROUTE.
VINCE: KEEP COMMS UP AND REQUEST TO RELOCATE.
CHRIS RYAN: YOU DON' STICK AN ANTI-AIRCRAF POSITION IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE FOR NO REASON, SO THE ONLY THING WE COULD THINK OF IS THERE WAS TROOPS IN RESERVE OR THERE WAS A MILITARY INSTALLATION.
NOW, IF WE GET INTO TROUBLE OR COMPROMISED, TROOPS FROM THA INSTALLATION WILL BE ON TOP OF US WITHIN MINUTES.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: HELLO, ZERO ALPHA, THIS IS BRAVO TWO ZERO.
RADIO CHECK, OVER.
CHRIS RYAN: WE SET THE RADIO UP AND WE STARTED HAVING PROBLEMS GETTING THROUGH, ESTABLISHING COMMUNICATIONS.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: RADIO CHECK, OVER.
CHRIS RYAN: I CAN REMEMBER THAT FEELING, YOU KNOW, AS IT, YOU KNOW, AS IT WAS YESTERDAY.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S A MIXTURE OF SEVERAL EMOTIONS.
IT'S ANGER, IT'S POSSIBLY FEAR.
I KNEW AT THIS POIN IF ONE THING GOES WRONG, THIS WHOLE OPERATION WILL GO DOWN THE TOILET IN A BIG WAY.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: HELLO, ZERO ALPHA, THIS IS BRAVO TWO ZERO.
RADIO CHECK, OVER.
[RADIO STATIC.]
CHRIS RYAN: IT WAS SOME TIME IN THE AFTERNOON.
TWO, THREE O'CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON WHEN, OUT OF THE BLUE, WE HEARD A VOICE.
[MAN SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
CHRIS RYAN: AND IT WAS A YOUNG KID'S VOICE AND IT WASN'T FAR FROM US.
[BOY SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: TAKE COVER, LADS.
[BOY SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
CHRIS RYAN: THERE WAS A KID COMING IN WITH ABOU 15, 20 GOATS.
IT'S ONLY A BOY.
IF HE SEES US, IT'S FINISHED.
WE BASICALLY DIDN'T HAVE ANY OPTIONS.
IF WE'D MANAGED TO BRING HIM DOWN AND HOLD HIM THERE, HE WOULD HAVE GONE MISSING, SOMEBODY WOULD HAVE GONE LOOKING FOR HIM.
ALSO, IF WE JUMP UP ONTO THE DESERT FLOOR, THAT ANTI-AIRCRAFT POSITION, THEY'RE GONNA SEE US STRAIGHT AWAY.
YOU COULD HEAR HIS VOICE AND IT'S GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER AND CLOSER.
[BOY SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
[GOATS BLEET.]
[COWBELLS CLANK.]
CHRIS RYAN: DID HE SEE YOU? VINCE: NO.
CHRIS RYAN: WE WEREN' 100% SURE THAT WE HAD BEEN COMPRISED BUT, HAVING SAID THAT, HE RAN OFF AND THIS KID, WHEN HE'S RUNNING BACK, THIS KID AIN' RUNNING BACK TO TELL HIS MUM.
OK, WELL, HE SAW SOMETHING.
WE'VE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: AGREED.
CHRIS RYAN: THERE'S A BIG CHANCE NOW OF SOLDIERS TURNING UP.
THE FEAR LEVELS GO THROUGH THE ROOF.
YOU KNOW, YOUR HEART IS POUNDING.
ANY NOISE, YOUR ATTENTION'S DRAWN TO THA 'CAUSE YOU'RE JUS WAITING, YOU KNOW, FOR IT TO GO WRONG.
SUDDENLY WE HEARD A SQUEAKING METALLIC SOUND.
TANK.
TANK! YOU KNOW, THAT JUST SENDS DREAD THROUGHOUT YOUR HEART.
WE KNEW WE WERE BOXED IN.
THIS TANK, ALL IT HAD TO DO IS PUT ONE PLACED ROUND INTO THAT WADI AND IT WOULD KILL US ALL.
AND WE COULD HEAR THIS NOISE GETTING LOUDER AND LOUDER AND LOUDER.
COULD HEAR THE ENGINE, EVERYTHING.
IT'S JUST ELECTRIC.
AND THE NEXT THING THA CAME ROUND THE CORNER, A YELLOW BULLDOZER.
THERE WAS A GUY DRIVING IT AND HE HAD THE BLADE UP, AND YOU'RE TRYING TO THINK, "WHAT'S THIS ABOUT?" AND HE JUST REVERSED BACK AND DISAPPEARED.
NOW WE KNOW WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED TOTALLY HERE.
WE DECIDED WE WERE GONNA WALK OUT IN DAYLIGH AND TAKE THE RISK.
I SUGGESTED WE TOOK OUR SHEMAGS OFF AND WRAP THEM ROUND OUR HEADS TO COVER OUR WHITE FACES.
THEY CERTAINLY WOULDN'T BE EXPECTING COALITION FORCES TO BE THIS FAR INSIDE OF IRAQ.
THE PATROL WAS FOLLOWING, EVERYTHING WAS FINE AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I LOOKED UP TO MY LEFT.
THERE WAS TWO IRAQIS.
LADS, WE GOT COMPANY.
CLOSE IN.
PULL IN.
JUST KEEP WALKING.
KEEP MOVING.
VINCE: THEY LOOK LIKE MILITIA.
MIGHT NOT KNOW WHO WE ARE THOUGH.
CHRIS RYAN: THEIR CLOTHING, IT WAS A MIXTURE OF MILITARY AND CIVILIAN, BUT THEY HAD THESE AK-47'S SLUNG OVER THEIR SHOULDERS.
YOU'RE THINKING, "RIGHT, WHY ARE THEY STANDING THERE? ARE THEY EXPECTING US?" AND THEN AT SOME POINT I JUST THOUGHT, "I'LL TRY AND WAVE AT THEM, LIKE AS A BLUFF.
" I THINK THEY'RE LETTING US PAST.
[GUNFIRE.]
CHRIS RYAN: PUSH ON, PUSH IT ON! VINCE: CONTAC TO THE LEFT! CHRIS RYAN: ALL OF A SUDDEN, TWO VEHICLES TURNED UP.
VINCE: GO, GO! CHRIS RYAN: STRAIGHT AWAY, THE FIREFIGHT HAPPENED.
EVERYBODY WAS OPENING UP.
VINCE: CONTACT, TO THE LEFT! CHRIS RYAN: THE EIGHT OF US, WE WERE CAUGH IN A KILLING FIELD.
VINCE: FALL BACK! CHRIS RYAN: 'CAUSE I'VE HEARD GUYS SAYING, "I WAS NEVER FRIGHTENED DURING A FIREFIGHT.
" WELL, I'M SORRY, BUT I DON'T BELIEVE THEM.
IN SOME CASES, FEAR IS A VERY GOOD THING IF YOU CAN CONTROL IT.
SETH! WE WERE SHOUTING AT ONE ANOTHER.
HALF OF US WOULD BE FIRING AND ANOTHER HALF WOULD BE MOVING.
EVERYTHING IS INSTINCTIVE AND YOU'RE JUS LOOKING, RETURNING, MOVING.
[GUNFIRE.]
THE GROUND WOULD START SPURNING.
YOU WOULD HEAR THE CRACK AND THUMP WHICH WAS A ROUND PASSING YOUR HEAD.
WE'D BEEN ASSURED THA IF EVERYTHING WENT WRONG, JUST USE YOUR TACBE, TACTICAL BEACON.
SO I PULLED THE PIN AND JUST STARTED SCREAMING IN THERE, "TURBO, TURBO, TURBO, THIS IS BRAVO TWO ZERO.
" TURBO, TURBO, THIS IS BRAVO TWO ZERO, CONTACT.
"CONTACT, CONTACT," AND NOTHING WAS COMING OUT.
TURBO, TURBO, THIS IS BRAVO TWO ZERO, CONTACT, CONTACT! WHAT BECAME APPARENT WAS THE BERGENS ARE TOO HEAVY, WE CAN'T MOVE.
YOUR LUNGS ARE LOCKED SOLID.
IT'S AS IF SOMEBODY'S POURED CONCRETE INTO THEM.
IRAQI MAN: AH! VINCE: WATCH OUT, [INAUDIBLE.]
KNACKER'D! SAS TEAM MEMBER: MINE'S NOT WORKING EITHER! CHRIS RYAN: WE'D COME INTO LINE OF SIGH OF THE ANTI-AIRCRAFT POSITION.
THESE ROUNDS JUST TEAR YOU IN TWO.
[GROUP SPEAKING INAUDIBLY.]
.
CHRIS RYAN: WE DROPPED OUR BERGENS.
YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THAT'S GONNA SAVE YOU IS IN THAT BERGEN, THE RADIOS, YOUR WARM CLOTHES, YOUR FOOD.
ANYTHING YOU NEED TO SURVIVE IN HAS JUST GONE.
THAT'S IT, YOU'RE LIVING IN WHAT YOU'RE STANDING UP IN.
TURBO, TURBO, THIS IS BRAVO TWO ZERO, OVER.
AS I DROPPED MY BERGEN, YOU KNOW, I STARTED MAKING A FEW BOUNDS AWAY FROM IT AND I COULD REMEMBER SOMETHING, THEN I JUST THOUGHT, "THERE'S NO WAY I'M LEAVING THAT BEHIND.
" VINCE: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING? [GUNFIRE.]
CHRIS RYAN: AFTER I HAD IT, I CAN REMEMBER DOING ANOTHER BOUND THINKING, "THAT WAS A STUPID THINK YOU'VE JUST THEN.
" AND WHEN THE EIGHT OF US GOT TOGETHER AND NOBODY WAS SHOT, IT DID NOT MAKE SENSE.
IT WAS LIKE DIVINE INTERVENTION AND ON ANY OTHER DAY THEY COULD HAVE HAD ALL EIGHT OF US.
MY WIFE HAD GIVEN ME THAT HIP FLASK FOR CHRISTMAS AND IT WAS FULL OF WHISKY.
I GUESS THAT HIP FLASK WAS THE ONLY THING THAT I HAD WITH A FAMILY CONNECTION.
IN DAYS TO COME, THA HIP FLASK WAS GONNA PROVE TO BE A HUGE MORALE BOOSTER EVERY DAY.
AT THIS POINT NOW, THE PLAN IS TO MAKE TO THE EMERGENCY RV WHERE WE WERE GONNA BE PICKED UP BY A HELICOPTER.
WE HAD A PROCEDURE OF 48 HOURS OF NO COMMS.
THEY WOULD SEND A HELI IN, 2000 HOURS.
AS FAR AS EVERY MAN WAS CONCERNED, WE WERE GONNA LEAVE THAT NIGHT.
AS WE GOT INTO THE DROP OFF POINT, SITTING THERE CLOCK WATCHING, LOOKING AT THE MINUTES PASSING BY, ONCE IT GOT TO ABOU QUARTER TO EIGHT, THINKING, "IT'S COMING, IT'S COMING.
" TEN TO EIGHT, "IT'LL BE HERE IN A MINUTE.
" FIVE TO EIGHT AND THEN IT GOT TO EIGHT O'CLOCK.
IT'S NOT COMING.
YOU REALIZE YOU'VE BEEN ABANDONED AND YOU THINK, "OK, RIGHT," SO WHAT YOU DO, YOU PICK YOURSELF UP.
RIGHT, LADS, WE ARE 75 MILES FROM THE SYRIAN BORDER.
IF WE GET OUR FINGERS OUT, WE CAN DO THAT IN A DAY.
I SUGGEST WE DO A DOG LEG AND GO SOUTH TOWARDS THE SAUDI BORDER.
THAT'S WHAT THEY THINK WE'RE GONNA DO AND WE'LL DRAW THEM IN THERE.
THEN WE'LL TURN RIGH AND RIGHT AGAIN TOWARDS THE SYRIAN BORDER.
AGREED? VINCE: IT'S A GOOD PLAN.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.
CHRIS RYAN: WHAT YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER, IN 1991 IF ANY OF OUR COALITION AIRCRAFT CRASHED OR WAS SHOT DOWN AND THE PILOTS MADE IT INTO SYRIA, THEY WOULD BE HANDED BACK TO THE COALITION FORCES SO, YOU KNOW, WE FELT SAFE IF WE GOT INTO SYRIA THA WE'D BE ALL RIGHT.
ALL WE HAD TO DO IS WALK THE 75 MILES AND WE'RE HOME FREE.
WELL, YOU WERE SHROUDED IN DARKNESS.
YOU KNOW, YOU'D HEAR OCCASIONALLY SOMEBODY STUMBLE OR YOU'D HEAR A ROCK MOVE AND WE WALKED MAYBE, I DON'T KNOW, SEVERAL HOURS AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, AS I TURNED 'ROUND, STAN WAS THERE, VINCE WAS THERE AND THERE WAS NOBODY ELSE, AND MY HEART JUS ABSOLUTELY SINKS.
HOLDING THAT NIGHT SIGH UP THERE, I CAN SEE THE DIFFERENT SHADES OF THE DESERT AND I COULD SEE A GOOD DISTANCE AWAY AND I JUST, NOBODY THERE.
OH, BLOODY HELL.
AT 0030, I KNEW WE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO MOVE ON.
IT WAS A HUGE BLOW BECAUSE WE WERE A WEAK UNI AS AN EIGHT MAN PATROL.
NOW WE'RE THREE.
IT CAN'T GET ANY WORSE, IT JUST CAN'T GET WORSE.
BUT IT WAS GONNA GET A LOT WORSE.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: PULL BACK! CHRIS RYAN: WE WERE WALKING ON A BEARING TO THE EUPHRATES RIVER BECAUSE WE DESPERATELY NEEDED WATER.
WE'D COVERED THAT MUCH DISTANCE, SOMEWHERE IN THE REGION OF ABOUT 50 MILES, WE'D ALL DEVELOPED BLISTERS.
I KNEW BY MY WATCH THA FIRST LIGHT WAS COMING UP AND THE NEXT THING THA I STARTED WORRYING ABOUT, THERE WAS NO COVER.
THIS DAY IS TATTOOED ON MY BRAIN.
I'VE BEEN TO SOME OF THE COLDEST PLACES ON EARTH AND NEVER EXPERIENCED COLD LIKE IT THIS PARTICULAR DAY.
WE CAME ACROSS A TANK BERM, WHICH WAS AN ABSOLUTE GODSEND, AND IT'S EARTH THAT'S BEEN PILED UP ON THREE SIDES AND IT'S FOR A TANK TO REVERSE IN; AND AS FIRST LIGH STARTED TO COME, WE COULD SEE A BUILDING AND IT HAD AN ANTENNA COMING FROM IT AND THERE WAS AT LEAS TWO SOLDIERS AROUND IT.
WE'RE TRAPPED, WE CAN'T MOVE, SOMEBODY'S GONNA HAVE TO KEEP AN EYE ON THESE GUYS.
I OBVIOUSLY FELL ASLEEP.
IT WAS THE NEXT MOMENT, I CAME TO WITH PINS AND NEEDLES ON MY FACE.
OH BLOODY HELL.
COLD HAS A CERTAIN TYPE OF PAIN.
IT'S TERRIFYING.
VINCE: CHRIS, I'M GOING DOWN.
CHRIS RYAN: NO YOU'RE NOT, MAN, YOU'RE NOT.
WE'RE ALL COLD.
I KNEW WE WERE IN TROUBLE NOW.
IT WASN'T THE IRAQIS, IT WAS THE WEATHER THAT WAS GONNA KILL US.
NIGHT FELL AND THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME AND IT HIT ME LIKE A SLEDGEHAMMER.
NOW IN HINDSIGHT, I DIDN' REALIZE HOW BAD EVERYBODY WAS.
VINCE: NOT DOING TOO WELL HERE, MATE.
CHRIS RYAN: WITH HYPOTHERMIA, YOU THINK YOU'RE ACTING NORMALLY AND ACTUALLY YOU'RE MAKING HUGE MISTAKES AND NOT THINKING STRAIGHT.
[INAUDIBLE MUMBLING.]
WHEN I SAY HORRENDOUSLY COLD, WE WERE MOMENTS FROM DEATH.
VINCE WAS SHOWING ALL THE CLASSIC SIGNS OF SUFFERING FROM HYPOTHERMIA.
VINCE: I WANNA SIT DOWN.
CHRIS RYAN: HE WOULD START SHOUTING.
VINCE: I WANNA SIT DOWN! CHRIS RYAN: VINCE, WE CAN' STOP, WE GOTTA KEEP MOVING.
VINCE: MY HANDS, THEY'RE BLACK.
I CAN'T FEEL THEM, THEY'RE BLACK.
SAS TEAM MEMBER: SHHH, VINCE! CHRIS RYAN: VINCE, QUIET! HE WAS CONVINCED HIS HANDS HAD FROSTBITE.
VINCE, SHOW ME YOUR HANDS, MATE.
COME ON.
VINCE: THEY'RE BLACK, I CAN' FEEL THEM, THEY'RE BLACK.
CHRIS RYAN: COME ON, MATE, SHOW ME YOUR HANDS.
VINCE: THEY'VE GONE BLACK.
CHRIS RYAN: I WAS HIS BLACK GLOVES.
HE HAD BLACK LEATHER GLOVES ON.
ALL RIGHT, MATE.
MY MINDSET WAS TO TRY TO BE NICE TO HIM.
YOU PUT YOUR HANDS IN YOUR POCKETS, THE COLOR'LL SOON COME BACK, ALL RIGHT? YOU'RE DOING REALLY WELL.
NOW, COME ON, VINCE, POP THEM IN YOUR POCKETS, MATE.
VINCE: I CAN'T.
CHRIS RYAN: KEEP MOVING MATE, ALRIGHT? VINCE: I CAN'T, I CAN'T.
CHRIS RYAN: WHEN I TOLD VINCE, YOU KNOW, JUST, FOR A MOMENT.
WE'RE GONNA BE OU OF HERE SOON, MATE.
WE'RE GONNA GO SOMEWHERE WARM, ALL RIGHT? VINCE: I DON' KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
CHRIS RYAN: AND THEN, I HAD A DIFFERENT APPROACH.
VINCE YOU GOTTA PULL YOUR FINGER OUT, OTHERWISE YOU WON' SEE YOUR DAUGHTER AGAIN, YOU WON'T SEE YOUR FAMILY AGAIN, ALL RIGHT? YOU GOTTA GET OFF YOUR ASS AND MOVE.
WE'VE GOTTA KEEP GOING, VINCE, COME ON.
VINCE: YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
CHRIS RYAN: GOOD MAN.
I SHOULD HAVE RECOGNIZED ALL OF THESE CLASSIC SIGNS OF HYPOTHERMIA.
WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE IS TIED HIM TO ME.
I SHOULD HAVE LASHED HIM TO ME.
STAN: WE'VE LOST VINCE.
CHRIS RYAN: WE WALKED FOR SOME PROBABLY 40 MINUTES GOING BACK TOWARDS THE ENEMY AND IT WAS ME AND ME ALONE THAT SAID, "WE'RE CALLING THIS OFF AND WE'VE GOT TO GET BACK ONTO OUR ROUTE.
" SADLY, YOU KNOW, IN MY HEART OF HEARTS, I KNOW HE DIED THAT NIGHT.
THEN IT'S A HORRIBLE, IT'S A HORRIBLE FEELING.
I THINK EVERYBODY DEALS WITH PROBLEMS DIFFERENTLY, BUT FOR ME I PUT THEM AWAY.
BUT AS WE'RE DOING THIS, THINGS ARE COMING UP THAT, YOU KNOW, I HAVEN' THOUGHT ABOUT FOR 25 YEARS.
I DON'T REALLY WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT.
LIGHT WAS JUST COMING UP.
THE NEXT THING THA HAPPENED, WE HEARD THE DREADED GOAT BELLS COMING IN ON A BREEZE.
THERE WAS A LONE FIGURE THERE AND THEY HAD PROBABLY, YOU KNOW, 100 WADIS TO GO INTO AND THEY CAME INTO OURS.
AT THIS POINT, THE GENEVA CONVENTION FOR ME HAD GONE OUT THE WINDOW AND I WAS LOOKING AT THIS GUY.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO STICK HIM.
I'M NOT GOING THROUGH THIS AGAIN.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO HIM.
I, I'LL, I'LL STICK HIM.
I'LL KILL HIM.
STAN: WE CAN'T DO THAT, HE'S A CIVILIAN.
CHRIS RYAN: I'M THINKING, "WE'VE GOTTA DO THIS GUY AND IT'S GOTTA BE QUICK.
" STAN: LET ME TALK TO HIM, HE COULD HELP US.
CHRIS RYAN: YEAH, BUT WE CAN'T LET HIM COME IN HERE AND COMPROMISE US STAN: SORRY, MATE.
CHRIS RYAN: BUT STAN JUMPED UP AND GRABBED HIM.
STAN: ALL RIGHT, MATE? HEY! NO, NO, NO, NO, CALM DOWN.
IT'S ALL RIGHT, COME WITH ME, COME WITH ME.
HEY, COME HERE, MATE, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
CHRIS RYAN: STAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MATE? STAN: HE MIGH HAVE A TRACTOR.
HERE, [MAKES ENGINE NOISES.]
, DO YOU KNOW A TRACTOR? DO YOU HAVE A TRACTOR? CHRIS RYAN: STAN WAS SAYING, "TRACTOR, TRACTOR.
" [MAN SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
STAN: YEAH, WHERE, WHERE? CHRIS RYAN: AND THIS GUY KEPT SAYING [SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
AND THAT'S, "YES, YES, YES.
" STAN: WHERE'S YOUR TRACTOR? WHERE'S YOUR FARM? CHRIS RYAN: AH, COME ON, MAN.
HE'S JUST SAYING YES TO EVERYTHING, MATE.
WE CAN'T TRUS ANYTHING HE'S SAYING.
STAN: THIS IS WHAT'S GONNA HELP US.
HE'S GONNA TAKE US TO HIS TRACTOR, ALL RIGHT? CHRIS RYAN: TAKE US WHERE, MATE? I WAS HORRIFIED AND SHOCKED THAT HE WAS GONNA TAKE THAT RISK.
STAN: WE'RE NOT GONNA LAST ANOTHER NIGHT LIKE THIS, ALL RIGHT? THE ONLY WAY WE'RE GETTING OUT IS DRIVING OUT.
THIS IS THE ONLY WAY.
COME WITH US, PLEASE.
CHRIS RYAN: YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, MATE.
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
I WILL WAIT FOR YOU UNTIL LAST LIGHT, ALL RIGHT? IF YOU'RE NO BACK, I'M GONE.
STAN: RIGHT, I'M OFF, COME ON, MATE, COME ON.
CHRIS RYAN: STAN.
STAN: LET'S GO.
CHRIS RYAN: STAN! IT WAS HORRIBLE, WATCHING HIM GO.
[MAN SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
CHRIS RYAN: AND THEN I SAT THERE FOR THE NEX THREE HOURS, I THINK IT WAS.
6:30 CAME AND I GOT UP AND STARTED WALKING.
THAT'S IT, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
I WAS WALKING ON A BEARING HEADING TO THE EUPHRATES TO GET WATER.
I CAN REMEMBER LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER AND THERE WAS A SET OF LIGHTS AND I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW, I WAS WRONG, HE'S DONE I AND HE'S GETTING A VEHICLE AND HE'S COME BACK.
STAN, YOU BELTER.
THE FIRST SET OF LIGHTS WERE FOLLOWED BY A SECOND SET OF LIGHTS.
THAT WAS THE SIGNAL FOR SEVERAL THINGS.
STAN HAD EITHER BEEN CAPTURED OR THE GOAT HERDER HAD BROUGHT THEM BACK ONTO MY POSITION.
IT WAS TOO LATE, THEY WERE ONTO ME.
I KNEW I WAS IN TROUBLE.
THE ADRENALINE KICKS IN.
I CAN REMEMBER PULLING THE MAGAZINES OUT AND THEN PILING THEM UP ON FRONT OF ME, MAKING SURE THERE WAS A GRENADE IN THE 203.
THIS IS IT, IT'S THE LAST STAND.
SOMETHING WEN THROUGH MY HEAD.
IT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND THE THOUGHT WAS, "MY DAUGHTER'S NO GONNA KNOW WHERE HER DAD DIED IN THE DESERT.
" [GROUP SCREAMING AND SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
[GUNFIRE.]
[GUNFIRE.]
CHRIS RYAN: WHEN THEY CALL THE SAS IN, IT'S NOT TO DO NEGOTIATIONS, IT'S TO RESOLVE A SITUATION WITH VIOLENCE.
YOU THROW EVERYTHING AT IT.
YOU HIT I HARD AND PRECISE.
IN A SITUATION LIKE THAT, YOU'RE IN A SURVIVAL MODE AND IT'S DOWN TO THE BASICS OF THEM OR US AND IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT.
STAN: I'M COLD.
VINCE: I'M GOING DOWN.
CHRIS RYAN: AT FIRST LIGHT, I FELT I HAD A HUGE WEIGHT ON MY SHOULDERS.
IT JUST SEEMED TO DAWN ON ME THAT I WAS BY MYSELF.
FOR SOME BIZARRE REASON, A MEMORY CAME FLASHING BACK FROM WHEN I WAS A CHILD AT HOME.
MY MOM, SHE TURNED ROUND AND SAID, "YOU KNOW, IF ANYTHING GETS ON TOP OF YOU, JUST HAVE A GOOD CRY.
" [LAUGHS.]
.
I CAN REMEMBER SITTING GOING, "WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?" AND, ANYWAY, AS I WAS SAT WITH THIS ROCK BEHIND ME, I TRIED TO CRY AND EVERY TIME I TRIED TO CRY, I COULDN'T.
[LAUGHS.]
.
OH, CHRIS, WHA ARE YOU DOING, MAN? BUT WHAT IT DID IS ACTUALLY MADE ME LAUGH.
AH.
I'D WALKED 130 MILES UP UNTIL THIS POINT.
I HADN' EATEN FOR SIX DAYS.
I NEEDED WATER DESPERATELY.
IT HAD BEEN ABOU THREE TO FOUR DAYS SINCE I HAD ANYTHING TO DRINK.
SLEEP DEPRIVATION AS WELL, IT WAS JUST TORTURE.
YOU'RE NO HAVING A NIGHTMARE, YOU'RE LIVING THE NIGHTMARE.
I GOT DOWN TO THE RIVER AND THERE WAS A PUMPING HOUSE.
I CAN STILL SEE MYSELF WANDERING ROUND THIS FACILITY.
I WASN'T GUARDED, I WASN'T GOING ROUND IN A TACTICAL POSITION, HOLDING MY WEAPON UP, LOOKING.
IT'S NEARLY A MADNESS AND THERE WAS A GLOW OF LIGH COMING FROM ONE OF THE WINDOWS.
I WAS LIKE A MOTH BEING DRAWN TO THE LIGHT.
AND JUST BEING HORRIFIED TO SEE AN IRAQI SOLDIER IN THERE, YOU KNOW, SLEEPING.
IT'S A SHOCK, I MEAN, A TOTAL SHOCK AND IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW, GET A GRIP.
THERE WAS A HOUSE WITH ONE OF THESE TYPICAL MURALS OF SADDAM HUSSEIN LOOKING UP AT THE SKY AND I WAS MESMERIZED BY IT.
[DOGS BARKING.]
AND THEN THERE WAS MOVEMENT.
YOU'RE THINKING WHAT, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE DONE.
YOU'VE SCREWED UP, YOU'RE IN THIS PLACE, YOU'RE GONNA GET CAUGH AND THEN IT WAS WHAT DO YOU DO? DO YOU SHOOT? I DIDN'T HAVE A SILENCED WEAPON, SO THAT'S DEFINITELY NOT ON THE CARDS.
DO I HOPE THA THEY'LL WALK PAST ME OR DO I HAVE A CRACK AT THEM? IF THEY COME PAST, DO I DO IT? CHRIS RYAN: THE FIRST ONE, I STRUCK HIM AND THEN WEN FOR THE OTHER ONE AND WE SCRAPPLED AND THEN I GOT A HOLD OF HIM AND I PU BOTH MY HANDS ROUND HIS NECK AND THEN MY LEGS AROUND HIS HIPS.
THEN I, I KILLED HIM AND THEN MOVED THE BODIES DOWN TOWARDS THE RIVER.
WHEN I THINK BACK IN TERMS OF MY MENTAL STATE, I THINK YOU GO THROUGH PERIODS OF AGGRESSION.
YOU DON'T THINK IF THIS IS ANIMALISTIC OR, YOU KNOW, IF THIS IS WRONG AND THE FACT IS YOU'RE LIVING A THAT POINT, ONCE THE ADRENALINE'S KICKING IN, YOU MOVE AWAY AND THEN EVERYTHING'S MATTER OF FACT IN TERMS OF I NEED WATER.
ROUND THE BACK OF THIS BUILDING, THERE WAS WHA I THOUGHT WAS A SPRING.
IT WAS RUNNING AS CLEAR AS BOTTLED WATER.
I IMMEDIATELY PU MY BOTTLES IN THERE, FILLED THEM AND THEN MOVED OFF.
DAWN WAS ONLY MINUTES AWAY FROM HERE AND I HAD TO HIDE IMMEDIATELY AND WHAT I CAME ACROSS WAS THREE CULVERTS.
I PICKED THE DIRTIEST ONE OR THE ONE I COULDN'T SEE THROUGH.
I GOT MY WATER BOTTLE OU AND TOOK A LARGE GULP OF WATER WHICH BURNT MY MOUTH AND IT WAS LIKE ACID SO I TOOK THE LID OFF THE OTHER ONE.
IT WAS REALLY, REALLY TOXIC AND IT HURT.
I COULDN'T WORK OU WHAT I'D PUT IN MY WATER BOTTLES TO TAINT THIS WATER.
ACTUALLY, THAT WATER WAS COMING FROM THE REACTORS FROM THE CHEMICAL PLAN THAT WAS FULL OF EFFLUENT, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
THAT NIGHT, I CARRIED ON WALKING.
I KNEW I WAS GONNA DIE IN THE NEXT PROBABLY 24 HOURS.
MY BODY WAS CLOSING DOWN.
I STARTED REALLY DOUBTING THAT I WAS EVER GONNA GET THERE.
EACH DAY I'M WALKING 27 MILES AND I'VE GOT ANOTHER POSSIBLY 27 MILES TO THE BORDER.
DURING THE CHRISTMAS BEFORE I DEPLOYED, JUS SOMETHING VERY SIMPLE, IT WAS SITTING WATCHING TV, MY WIFE HAD SAID, "SWITCH THE CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTS ON.
" MY DAUGHTER, SHE SAID, "NO, I'LL DO IT, DAD.
" ANYWAY, THIS NIGHT, SOMETHING VERY, VERY, VERY BIZARRE HAPPENED, UM [HEAVY SIGH.]
DAUGHTER: DADDY.
CHRIS RYAN: OUT OF NOWHERE, SHE WAS STANDING IN FRONT OF ME.
SHE WAS PUTTING HER HAND OUT FOR ME TO GRAB.
EVERY TIME I WENT TO GRAB HER HAND, SHE WOULD MOVE.
IT'S SOMETHING THAT I CAN'T EXPLAIN.
IT CATCHES ME OU EVEN, YOU KNOW, NOW.
I FIND IT VERY, VERY DIFFICULT TO TALK ABOUT.
NOW I'VE READ A LOT OF STORIES ABOUT YOUNG MEN IN, YOU KNOW, THE FIRS WORLD WAR, SECOND WORLD WAR.
THEY'LL EITHER CALL FOR GOD OR THEY'LL CALL FOR THEIR MOTHER OR THEY'LL CALL FOR THEIR WIFE.
FOR ME, IT WAS MY DAUGHTER AND I SUPPOSE THAT'S WHAT PUSHED ME ON.
THEY SAY THE BODY CAN GO FOR THREE DAYS WITHOU WATER THEN, YOU KNOW, YOU DIE.
WELL, I WAS COMING ON FOR MY FOURTH DAY.
YOUR BRAIN STARTS TO SHRINK AND IF I DIDN' HAVE WATER FOR ANOTHER DAY, I WOULD BE DEAD.
AH.
I CERTAINLY WASN' 100% CONVINCED THA I WAS OUT OF IRAQ.
THERE WAS A STATIC NOISE IN MY HEAD AND A BLINDING FLASH AND IT FELT LIKE SOMEBODY HAD PUNCHED ME IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HAD HAPPENED.
I CARRIED ON WALKING.
THE SECOND TIME IT HAPPENED, IT WAS JUST A CRACKLING GOING [MAKES NOISE.]
.
CHRIS RYAN: WHEN I CAME TO, I'D HIT MY NOSE ON THIS ROCK, IT WAS BROKEN, AND I'D LAID THERE FOR SEVERAL HOURS AND THE THING I SAID TO MYSELF IS, "COME ON, SWITCH ON.
THAT'S A STUPID PLACE TO FALL ASLEEP.
" I COULD SEE, THIS BUILDING, SMOKE COMING FROM IT.
I'D MADE THE DECISION IF I'M IN SYRIA, IT'S FINE.
IF I'M STILL IN IRAQ, I'LL GO UP THERE AND I'LL KILL EVERYBODY AND I'LL TAKE THE WATER.
[SYRIAN MAN SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
[CHRIS SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
SYRIA? SYRIA? I WAS POINTING A THE GROUND SAYING, "SYRIA, SYRIA, SYRIA?" AND HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.
IRAQ, IRAQ.
SYRIAN MAN: IRAQ, IRAQ.
CHRIS RYAN: SYRIA.
SYRIAN MAN: SYRIA, SYRIA.
CHRIS RYAN: I CAN HONESTLY SAY, FOR THE SEVEN DAYS AND EIGHT NIGHTS, WHAT I WANTED TO DO WAS GET OU THAT COUNTRY AND THAT WAS MY GOAL.
WHEN I LOOK BACK ACROSS THAT BORDER, I FELT SAFE.
BUT I DIDN'T FEEL PLEASED; I COULDN'T SMILE.
HE CAME OUT WITH A SILVER BOWL WITH CLEAN, FRESH, COLD WATER.
[MAN SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
.
AND IT HAD BEEN FOUR DAYS SINCE I'D DRANK ANY WATER.
ONCE YOU GET HOME, THE FIRST THING IS YOU THINK OF YOUR COLLEAGUES THAT AREN'T COMING BACK AND THE DEVASTATION ON THEIR FAMILIES.
THEN YOU THINK OF THE OTHER SIDE AND THE DEVASTATION, YOU KNOW, THE IRAQIS WENT THROUGH AND WHAT DID WE ACHIEVE FROM THAT? WELL, THERE IS NO GOOD THAT COMES OU OF ANY TYPE OF WAR.
IT'S HAPPENED SO YOU'VE GOT TO ACCEPT IT AND JUS MOVE ON AND I THINK IF YOU LET IT PLAY ON YOUR MIND, YOU'D GO CRAZY.
BUT, YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE JOB.