No Ordinary Family s01e01 Episode Script


Every story has a beginning.
But ours doesn't start the way you might think.
Sure, it begins on a street that looks like most and with a family that was, for the most part, normal, average, ordinary.
It was the morning I convinced my wife Stephanie to turn her research trip into a much-needed family vacation.
While your mom's working, we'll be out and about exploring Belém.
Belém? It's in Brazil, sweetie.
Brazil? South America, dumb-ass.
Hey, hey.
I just don't know why we have to go right now.
It's not a good time for me and Lucas.
Not a good time? You've only been dating this kid for two weeks.
Lucas Fisher? When did You start dating Lucas fisher? Just because you twitter-spy me doesn't mean that you know everything about my life.
Twitter-spy? When was the last time we did something together as a family? Last month.
You forced us to play charades, and then you pulled out your back, miming some scene from "Iron Man.
" That was an old sports injury I reaggravated.
No, I mean, when was the last time we did something as a family? Um mnh-mnh.
Yellowstone, three years ago.
We all got poison Ivy.
There's no poison Ivy in Brazil, kid.
Right? I just don't know why you guys can't go without me, and then Photoshop me in later.
Look, we're all gonna go, and we're all gonna have the time of our lives.
That's the plane? Are you kidding? It does look a little Like a flying coffin.
Come on, you guys.
See we've been here, we have not done one thing together.
You text, you work, and you stare at the television.
You gotta concentrate.
It's in South American.
For one hour, we are going to take a sunset tour of the rainforest together as a family, because that's how memories are made, whether you want them or not! Hey! The storm really came out of nowhere, huh? Don't worry.
I've flown through much worse.
Oh, yeah? When? Actually, I was just trying to make you feel better.
This is about as bad as I've ever been up in.
Who are you texting now? God.
Aah! Where are your life vests? Back there! Hold on! Dad? It's okay, pussycat.
Uhh! Are we gonna crash? Here.
Okay, kid, just like space mountain, right? As soon as Mitch gets us down safely, son, you'll be begging me to go up again, I promise.
Um, that didn't happen on space mountain.
Mayday, mayday, mayday.
Mom, I'm gonna die, and I haven't even done it yet! Listen, listen, we're gonna be all right, I promise! Have I ever lied to you before? About anything this important? Yeah.
Buckle up! Steph! Me, too.
At that moment, I couldn't help wondering how my family got here from here a time that was, quite simply, perfect.
And I had never been happier.
But if there is a downside to your family being the center of your entire world Toss the rock with dad? It's that eventually, all families grow up Wanna play some ball with daddy? Grow apart.
Stephanie barely had time to notice.
Who could blame her? Her career as a research scientist had taken off.
Executive vice president of research.
And I was happy for her.
But I missed us.
We were all living under the same roof.
But in different worlds.
And I was all alone in mine.
So that's how we got here.
And this this was the beginning.
Hold on! Oh, my God! Brace for impact! Uhh! Dad! Uhh! Mom! Fortunately, we all survived.
Jim, the pilot! Mitch! Unfortunately, our pilot wasn't as lucky.
We held each other close Vowing a new beginning to things Sincere Heartfelt promises That lasted about 30 seconds.
All right, well, just shoot me an e-mail, and I will see you first thing in the morning.
All right, bye.
, remember, your report's due tomorrow, and, Daphne, you need to find your basketball uniform.
That was Katie from the lab.
You okay? Guess it was crazy to think the trip would change anything.
Look, Jim, I know you want us to have some great family moments, but come on.
We survived a plane crash together.
Talk about a memory that lasts a lifetime.
Yeah, it's work.
It can wait.
How about dinner tomorrow night? Hmm? No cell phones.
No urgent e-mails.
Just a nice bottle of wine and a few hours to remind us.
Of what? How great we are together.
Know what I was really thinking when that plane was going down? "I shoulda flown commercial"? The world needs her I mean, who she is, what she does.
I mean, Stephanie matters.
And me? Who am I? A a failed painter? Ineffectual police artist? Guy who won't shut up when I'm trying to hit? Look, have you tried radical idea just telling her how you feel? How are you supposed to tell someone that you've been living separate lives? I am no expert on marriage, as my last two wives will attest, but here.
A divorce attorney? Oh, that's the wrong card.
I'm sorry about that.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Couple's therapist? Both my ex-wives begged me to see him.
That and hating me were the only two things they had in common.
Now had I listened, maybe I wouldn't have needed this card.
Maybe you won't either.
Ma'am, the more details you give me, the better sketch I can draw.
I don't see the point.
I already told the detectives I couldn't see his face.
He was wearing a mask.
Of president Obama, I know.
But if you can remember anything uh, hair color, eye color.
See, I can create a composite which I can give to the detectives.
Now it's not gonna bring your husband back, but it might help save somebody else's.
We opened that jewelry store with money from my father.
Why don't we take a little break? Powell.
Detective Cho.
Day after day, facing people you know you just can't help.
Uh how do you do it? By not asking myself that question.
Crime's up.
It's as bad as I've seen it.
Sir, tell me what drugs you're taking.
Wish more people around here cared as much as you do.
Ohh! Gun! Gun! Right here! You all right? Yeah.
You? Yeah.
The bullet where'd it go? Hey, hey.
You all right? I, uh I just need some fresh air.
In the morning, there's that split second just before you wake up when the world hasn't pressed itself in on your chest, before you remember your work or the husband you can't connect with or the kids you fear you'll disappoint.
But what I woke up to that morning was something very different.
What I woke up to was a man i hadn't seen in years.
Beautiful day, huh? Want me to close this? I've been Meaning to fix that.
Though Jim seemed different, i barely had time to wonder why.
And truth is, I barely had any time at all.
Between work and home, thweren't enough hours in the day.
'S meeting with the guidance counselor is at 3:00, but they might move it back to 2:00, so Be on call just in case.
All right, anybody who wants a ride, now would be the time.
Let's go.
Uh, eggs right here! * all right, I will see you later, J.
Daph are you okay? Look, I can tell there's something on your mind.
About Lucas or the plane crash? We did just have a near-death experience.
It's bound to change you.
That whore! Ugh! Or not.
Hi, baby.
Excuse me.
Daphne, you're back.
Yeah, just in time, too, apparently.
Yeah, I'm really glad that you survived the accident.
Those memorial assemblies are super depressing.
Oh, I know.
I remember the one we had for your virginity.
What was it, like, two years ago? See ya.
See ya.
I'm so glad you're back.
Me, too.
How are you? Better now.
Well, I'll hook up with you later, okay? Okay.
Hey, Daph.
Nice view.
I can't tell what's cuter the fact that Lucas has no idea Lindsay's hitting on him, or that he's too into me to see it.
The board's waiting for you in the conference room.
Oh, crap, I'm having dinner with Jim, and I forgot to make reservations.
Could you Yeah.
All right, someplace Romantic.
Where they won't give the table away if I'm late.
But amid the untold natural resources of the Amazon basin, we have uncovered perhaps the crown jewel the trilsetum coronis.
A plant? You're wasting the board's time on a plant? Carbon-14 dating traces the trilsetum coronis back to the Pleistocene epoch, and as we know, that was the oh, well, I stand corrected.
You're wasting the board's time on a really old plant.
Chiles You'll get your turn to waste the board's time.
Continue, Dr.
Our facilities in belém are already experimenting with practical applicatis across our divisions pharmaceuticals, papers, green fuel.
I'd bet money there is nothing this plant can't do.
I wanna buy out the whole place.
One hour.
And I want you to take a break.
I'm not allowed to leave you alone here For more than an hour.
Come on.
Whoo! Dr.
I've been looking for you.
Sorry, I had to Step out for a second.
No need to be defensive.
I'm not that much of a taskmaster, am I? Don't answer that.
At least not honestly.
No, the reason I was looking for you is I have some good news.
The chairman's intrigued.
By? You.
Your very old plant, specifically.
He's flying in tonight, wants an in-depth presentation over drinks.
Drinks? A social custom commonly enjoyed between adults.
He wants to fund your research.
Don't fracture anything jumping for joy.
Can't wait.
See you later.
We'll leave from here.
I mean, if this is a surprise party, I'd say that the turnout's a bit depressing it's, uh, it's somethin.
Watch this.
You know, I'm no hideki matsui, but it might be a little easier if you actually used a bat.
Ha! Oh, you've been taking magic classes at the learning annex? It's not magic classes.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, I think we're stepping over the line here.
Where did you get that? Precinct supply closet.
Surprisingly poor lock.
What do you need that for? I don't.
You do.
I need you to shoot me.
Hey, it's me.
Look, uh, date night's not looking so prosing.
Chairman's in town, and he no, that's fine.
Well, um, I will get home as soon as I can.
We'll grab some takeout, light some candles, and still have our night.
Okay, let's do this.
I can't believe I'm gonna kill you.
You're not gonna kill me, George.
You're just gonna shoot me.
I am a D.
, and according to the law, kinda the same thing.
I told you.
I did this yesterday.
I just have to see if I can do it again.
What if you can't? Where does that leave us? You dead and me showering with a bunch of guys I suddenly wish I hadn't put away.
Something extra ordinary's happening to me.
Something impossible, and I just I need your help to figure out what it is.
Please? Okay, George.
Just aim And fire.
Uh, I'm not I'm not George? George? Dr.
king left a message said to meet them at the chairman's hotel.
And I'd take the freeway if I were you.
Surface streets are a mess this time of day.
And that's when it happened.
In the world of science, we call it an unexplained phenomenon.
An occurrence so Random and bizarre, it defies explanation.
And in a life short on time, i suddenly found myself Fast.
For the next few weeks, I did my best to act as if nothing had changed.
I'd kiss my family good-bye, counting the minutes till I could meet George to write the owner's manual for my new ride.
Most of them can fly.
I can't fly.
Just take a running jump.
Look, get a head of steam, all right? And you just think like something that can fly.
That's easy for you to say, but if this doesn't work, I'm road kill.
From the guy that begged me to shoot him the other day.
All right.
Aah! Okay! You can't fly! George! Ohh.
But you can jump.
You can jump, man! Okay, okay, okay! I wasn't sure what was happening with Jim.
You all right? But I had to share my new abilities with someone a peer.
Someone who had the scientific capacity to understand what was happening to me.
Can I talk to you in confidence? Oh, my God.
You're firing me.
Are you firing me? Admittedly, i might have chosen better.
No, I'm not firing you.
Oh, good.
This is about me.
Okay, are you gonna tell me something really personal like we're best friends, even though I'm just your lab tech? 'Cause that would totally validate everything I've been working on in therapy.
No, um, no, you know that superhero thingy you keep in your cubicle downstairs? Oh, kitty pryde.
Yeah, she's my favorite x-man.
Well, x-woman, technically.
I'm fast.
* shut up and let me go * * this hurts, I tell you so * I can't believe I'm here * Now oh so easily * doing this.
Accepting this.
* I'm not containable * how does your body cut through the wind shear? * I ain't faking this, I ain't faking * why doesn't the coulomb friction singe your clothes?! Are you generating some kind of charged plasma field from the kinetic energy? Is that why incoming debris isn't sandblasting off your corneas?! How'd I do? You are doing a mile every 6 seconds.
I thought I was faster than that.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! The Olympics.
You should totally enter.
Where are they this year? Korea? They're always in Korea.
No, Katie, Katie.
I'm not interested in the Olympics.
Okay, what are you interested in? Making time.
Thanks to your increased metabolic rate, your life is like a never-ending spin class.
So despite the need for massive caloric intake, you're gonna be a size zero for the rest of your life.
I hate you.
Oh, my gosh.
It's already 3:00.
I've gotta, well, run.
What are you doing down here? I told you I would make some time to help with your schoolwork.
So what do we have here? Math.
All right.
"If a bullet train leaves new York going 350 miles per hour" I think I can help you on this one.
Here's what we know so far.
You can jump just over a quarter mile in a single leap.
A single what? Fine.
Single bound.
No discernible increase in foot speed.
However, you can lift just in the area of 11,000 pounds And you can catch bullets.
So have you, uh, talked to Steph about this, tell her what you can do? No.
Jim, she's your wife.
You have to bring her into this cone of silence.
What is that? What are you doing with a police scanner? I have these abilities.
I should be using them for something, right? Like like stopping these psychos in Obama masks, killing innocent people.
Oh! Hold hold hold on.
All we have learned so far is that we have a lot to learn.
You're special, but you're not invincible.
I don't even know if you're vincible.
George, George, hold on.
It's Stephanie.
Tell her.
Hello? Hey.
Um, I finished work.
I tutored J.
, and it isn't even 4:00 yet.
And I can jump a quarter of a mile.
I'm moving kind of fast today.
Anyway, the kids aren't here, and Mm, remember what we'd do sometimes when we both had a free afternoon? Mmm.
It's nice to remember we're good at that.
That's a nice thing to be good at.
You seem different to me.
Me? Yeah.
I thought that about you.
You have? Jim, how could I not notice? You seem Happy.
What? My life wasn't turning out the way I'd hoped.
Meanwhile, you were running around, living your dreams.
Yes, I was running so much that I was falling short at everything.
Falling short? Honey Who could keep up with you? Well, you couldn't, because you stopped trying.
We both stopped trying.
You wanna know what's going on with your daughter? Hmm? She's afraid she's gonna lose her boyfriend to a girl that'll sleep with him because she's not ready to yet.
And J.
he's struggling with school because the school wants to put him in remedial classes.
But you won't accept the fact that your son has a learning disability.
Now you may have known all these things if you were home for more than 20 minutes a night.
I guess it's the dream of everyone to work 80 hours a week to support a family.
Guess what? You got your wish.
Obama mask.
Robbery in progress.
You're on.
Perp "perp.
" I like that.
Perp headed north on 12th and fig.
I have to go.
Aah! Uhh! Hey.
Hey, George, I'm on top of the Simonson building heading north.
Which way now? It's a left.
Are you sure you don't wanna use the freeway route? 'Cause it looks much faster.
I'm not worried about traffic, George.
Uhh! Ohh! You're going away for a long time.
George Help me, George.
I've been shot.
You're awake.
Look, u had some blood loss, but the bullet didn't penetrate too far.
We sewed y up.
You're as good as "we"? Yeah, well no, no, no.
Do tell me.
Where was I supposed to take you, to the hospital? And explain to the attending why a large-caliber bullet only penetrated a quarter of an inch through your scalp? But she'll never understand what's happening to me.
Oh, I think you'll be surprised.
Remember the sketch of me in your studio? The one you Drew on our first date? Yeah.
You two are freaky.
But how? You know, I've been racking my brain, and the only possible variable Plane crash.
It's the only explanation.
And when our plane went down, the water had a phosphorescence.
At the time, I thought it was gasoline from the plane.
But gas floats on water.
This didn't.
It's the only thing that makes sense if any of this makes any sense.
But we were all in the water.
Hello? Daphne? Calm down, honey.
Where are you? Wait up! I called dad.
Uh he has a headache.
He's home resting.
I just usually talk to him about this sort of thing.
I know.
Um, before the game, I was on the court with with Emily.
Are you not gonna say something to her? She was all over Lucas the entire time you were in Mexico Or wherever.
This is a boyfriend problem? Wait.
Stay away from Lucas.
He was talking to me.
Okay, it took me all of last year to get Lucas to notice me.
Okay, maybe if weren't so concerned with losing Lucas, you'd notice that you already have.
What do you mean? You're so clueless.
I can't believe I actually feel bad for you.
Bad for me? Why? I didn't say anything.
And when the game started She's not gonna pass.
She never passes to me.
This game blows.
I need a drink.
We're gonna lose again.
That dress is, like I wasn't hearing my thoughts.
I was hearing theirs.
You probably think I'm losing my mind.
I No, no.
I actually believe every word.
Look, honey, there's something I need to tell you.
Something extraordinary has happened is happening to us, and you may be experiencing things, too, that you don't even understand entirely.
? This is unbelievable.
My whole family gets dipped in some super water, and all I get is wet.
So you haven't been no, dad.
I haven't.
I am still plain old J.
you know, the dumb one.
Oh, don't say that, kiddo.
It's true.
Okay, can we just stop talking about this, please? Daphne, you're telepathic.
I think this is something we should talk about.
Well, what happened to me only happened once, so as far as I'm concerned, I'm in the same boat as J.
Here just as boring as I was last week.
Daphne, I can help you.
The more we begin to understand about our abilities I don't want new abilities! High School is hard enough as it is! Why are we having this meeting anyway? So you two can convince yourselves that you're different? 'Cause you can catch bullets and you can run fast? All right, that's enough.
We go on vacations to reconnect.
Why would we wanna connect in the first place? To watch mom stress about work? Or watch dad mope around like he lost a winning lottery ticket? Look, even J.
Can see it, and J.
's an idiot! Hey, that's it! Go to your room right now! All the trips and all the talks couldn't save this family because this family isn't broken! You two are! She's right, isn't she? I'm so stupid! You said you were okay to wait.
I am.
Of course I am.
Thanks for telling me how you really feel.
I appreciate your honesty.
Come on, Daph.
How the hell did she know all that? Ms.
downs, I'm Detective Cho.
This is Detective Hixon.
If it's not too much trouble, we'd like to ask you a few questions.
About? Your former boyfriend, Reed Koblenz.
Reed? I haven't seen him since I posted his bail.
If you find him, tell him he owes me 2 grand.
If he attempts any contact, please let us know.
Koblenz? Uhh! Uhh! Uhh! Pack everything up, then disappear.
This one is my insurance policy.
Remembering when we used to be normal? You okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
Just wanna be alone.
I know I haven't always been there for you, but I'm here now.
Did it happen again? I was with Lucas.
And when I looked in his eyes, I could read his thoughts.
He's sleeping with Emily.
Oh, that bitch.
I know, right? And he said he loved me That he would wait for me.
Why would he say it if it wasn't true? It's not fair.
I can't be a virgin and a freak.
What's going on? Oh.
Talking about your new, cool powers.
Well, keep me updated on the costume design.
, stop.
We're a family no matter what happens to us or what doesn't happen to us.
Nothing's gonna change that.
You understand? Yeah.
I think I liked us better when we were just dysfunctional.
Hey! Let her go.
Ugh! If I let her go, she wouldn't make a very good hostage, now would she? I'm warning you.
You don't have a partner here this time to stop me.
Who says I ever did? You thought you were the only one.
Uhh! Aah! Uhh! Uhh! Aah! Last time we met, I didn't kill you.
But then again, I shot you from 4 feet away.
Don't you know? You and me, we are not alone What are you doing here, Powell? Trying to be some sort of hero? I go on.
Get outta here.
Get outta here now, before you're answering questions from I.
I'm home.
Jim? We need to talk.
You may have felt like you couldn't keep up, but while I was racing to be the perfect spouse, the perfect parent You were it.
You were extraordinary before you could ever catch a bullet.
You know, maybe it's taken something crazy to make us thankful for what we have.
Promise me.
No more bullets.
No more crime fighting.
'Cause in a way, I feel like I'm just getting you back.
I promise.
All right, you have 20 minutes to solve the equation I've written on the board.
Solve for "x" and make sure you show all your work.
Dude, you study for this? Why bother? You may begin now.
What are you doing, man? Jeez George? What did you do? You've got a new hobby now.
Yeah, my my brother knows a guy.
You need blu-ray anything So you turned your garage into that's right.
What every secret crime fighter needs a lair with Wi-Fi.
I have a lai.
With Wi-Fi.
Huh? Huh! I know it's quite a story, but you asked us how we got here, so Did I leave anything out? No.
I think you hit all the highlights.
So? What do you think, Dr.
Allen? I think We've got our work cut out for us.
Might suggest we start with Twice a week? Sure.
Sounds great.
We want this to work, not just for us but for our family.
The problems we face may no longer be ordinary, but then again Neither are we.
* I see you've found Koblenz.
Find out who knows about him.
And then take care of it.