Norsemen (2016) s02e04 Episode Script

Wasps? I didn't know the Lawspeaker was so fond of honey.
Arvid! Wait! Do not go in there! Maybe it's best that I sacrifice myself and go in first.
The sight waiting you in there may traumatize you for life.
OK? Or maybe it's not traumatizing at all, you know.
I've never been in there.
What the Helheim has happened here? Lawspeaker? Lawspeaker! Lawspeaker! I don't even know his real name.
I've always called him Lawspeaker.
Why are you guys here, anyway? He was just like a guy in the village where I grew up, to me.
So it's important to be here on his final journey.
Traitor Hm? Traitor Yes, see you later.
See you later.
On the other side.
Treason Reason? There is no reason to any of this.
- He's saying "treason," isn't he? - No, "reason.
" It was Or I just went ahead and did it.
So you wouldn't have to be burdened by a mercy killing.
I took one for the team.
This will haunt me for the rest of my life, but I've put him out of his misery.
And sent him off to his final resting place.
Heaven has gotten a new star.
Wait, wait! It looks like he was clasping something.
I wonder what it was that was so important to him.
I'll take these.
Has he written anything, perhaps? Maybe some final words? The Lawspeaker's word is law.
So whatever is written is truly important.
"Today is an exciting day.
" "I will release a wasp swarm in my hut.
" "To test if I'm still allergic.
" Wow.
That's a strange choice, for someone who is that allergic.
You know, people are different.
Some like to challenge themselves.
Experiment.
"If something should happen to me, I command that the next Lawspeaker in Norheim shall be a man of superior intellectual capacity.
" "Rufus of Rome.
" What?! Well "I realize I have committed a grave injustice regarding Orm.
" True.
"My last command is that Orm shall no longer be a slave.
" Oh my Thor, that's insane! Don't scoff at his dead body, Ragnar.
Those were the dying words of Norheim's most respected man.
- His word is law.
- Yeah, unfortunately.
It looks like something else is written there as well.
"Orm shall actively be included in all social contexts.
" Well, Arvid, Frøya Ragnar I guess the tables have turned again.
- The tables have turned? - Yes.
Well, maybe not turned completely around, but maybe The tables are at least slightly angled.
Well, at least I am a free man.
And Frøya, I guess that means that we are married again.
- What?! - No! Forget about it.
No, no.
Rufus, how does that work in practice? You are the new Lawspeaker now, so your word is law.
Thank you.
I will look into it so I can render a qualified decision.
Based on the relevant sources of law.
That's good.
The rat pack.
Hey, guys.
Just in time for dinner.
- We're just here to pick up our things.
- Huh? And to inform you that we're superhumans now.
And you're still subhumans.
I'm a free man and Rufus is the new Lawspeaker.
Wow, that's great! Congratulations.
Yield your hand! Your nasty hand.
Yield my hand? Is that what it's called? Yes, it is.
And any form of fellowship is more unlikely now than ever.
In reality, as of now, I'm the most powerful man in the village.
And I'm soon to be chieftain again.
And when that happens, Rufus is going to sail our ship to Rome! Orm? Keep quiet! You don't tell secret plans to Odin and everyone.
That's rule of thumb number one.
Sorry, I just got a little carried away.
- Yes, but - Yes.
- Keep your mouth shut.
- Shut.
Orm is not going to be chieftain.
We have an excellent chieftain in Arvid.
And we are not thinking about overthrowing him.
And we would like to express our full and utter faith in Arvid.
But don't think I've forgotten how you failed me and froze me out.
Winter is coming for the three of you! Winter cometh, perhaps? No.
Winter is coming.
Winter is coming! The time has come to formally appoint our new Lawspeaker.
Yes, question? Am I the only one who finds this a little strange? What do you mean? I mean like the Lawspeaker writing down his last wishes, and then suddenly dying.
I mean, it seems like something taken straight out of a crime rune stick.
If so, that would have been a pretty ordinary and boring crime rune stick.
Because that's so normal.
It's common.
No, it isn't, Orm.
It's very suspicious.
Hildur, this was Odin's plan.
And honey, it would look better if you would be happy about what is about to happen.
Instead of being caught up in the past.
It doesn't become you.
Hm? Sweetheart, you would actually be quite attractive if you weren't so caught up in the recent past and wanting to unravel things and question everything.
But now you're throwing it all away.
It's sad.
It's actually a sad sight.
No wonder she's single.
Nobody wants to be around a nosy parker.
Well.
Somebody had to tell her, right? The Lawspeaker's hat is a big hat to fill.
So I hope you will bear this with dignity.
I hereby declare Rufus as Norheim's new Lawspeaker! The first thing I choose to do as legislative and judiciary authority, is to make wearing the Lawspeaker's hat optional for the Lawspeaker! Especially a hat as full of lice and vermin as that one.
And the old Lawspeaker should get a burial worthy of a man of his standing.
We shall hold nothing back.
Everybody has to give their most prized possessions and send them off to Valhalla with him.
So give till it hurts.
You know, in Vestfold they've started burying big shots in ships now.
Huh? Yeah, they bury entire ships full of all kinds of nice things.
You know, the ship is our most valuable asset.
And it would probably hurt the most.
Yeah, I think we'd be a little wing-clipped as Vikings, without a Viking ship.
It would really suck for everybody, but you said we should give till it hurts.
So maybe we should just do it, then? The ship shall not be buried.
That's for elite funerals.
Chieftains.
And artists.
Rufus? Great decision about the ship.
It would have been so much hassle to build a new one.
Yes, it was a wise and correct decision.
I just hope the Lawspeaker was right about you.
I know we have had our disagreements.
I just want us to leave it all behind us and make the best out of this.
Absolutely, Arvid.
We are going to make the best out of this.
Absolutely.
Great.
You know what? I have a good feeling about you.
I think you and I can be a good team.
You know, Arvid, the thing about me My body is my rune stick and my tattoos are my saga.
Yeah? That's cool.
It's like I've always said: Show me a man with a tattoo, and I'll show you a man with an interesting story.
But it seems like everyone has tattoos these days.
So does that mean everyone has an interesting story? Well, with me, I'm like a canvas of my experiences.
My story is etched in lines and shadows.
And you can read it on my arms, my shoulders, my back, my stomach, my legs even.
So what is the story behind those lines, anyway? These? They are a reminder of all the women I've had.
What?! - That's a lot! - Yeah, it's quite a few.
I mean, that must be about every woman in a 20-mile radius from here.
Yeah, but they're not only physical penetrations, Arvid.
Hm? Two of them are physical.
And the rest are fantasy penetrations.
Hm? You know, when I've "worked myself.
" So you have tattooed a line for each time you've stroked your sword? No, no.
Only the hand jobs I want to remember.
So I can look back and reminisce.
They're like small pages in the saga of Ragnar, in a way.
- You know? - Yeah.
It's cool.
Yeah, I know.
That looks really good! Yeah? You think so? Tattoos show that you're an interesting person with an exciting story.
Yeah, the other guys said I needed some more ink.
Loki if I know.
It's supposed to be me and Frøya on the battlefield.
You don't think it's a bit iffy to have a big tattoo of Frøya on your back, when you're still married to Liv? No, that will sort out.
And then it will be Frøya and me forever, no matter what.
- You think so? - Yeah.
Some things you just know.
What brings you here, anyway? I just came to tell you that Rufus and Orm came by the slave camp to get their things.
And they were acting real high and mighty.
Yeah, now that Rufus has become Lawspeaker, I'm not surprised.
Sure, sure.
But Orm actually said he was going to be chieftain.
- He said that? - Mhm.
Yeah, I think they're up to something.
They have some sinister plans.
I don't mean to stress you out, but I'm a bit concerned.
But don't they say that nine out of ten concerns are unwarranted? Yeah.
One shouldn't get hung up on concerns.
That is true.
But thanks for telling me, anyway.
You know, Kark, you're the best subhuman I've ever owned.
- Wow! - Yeah.
That's That's overwhelming.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
- See you at the funeral.
- Yeah, see you.
Ow! Loki! Torstein? What are you doing here? I come to pay my condolences.
Pay your condolences? Is that what you say? - I guess so.
- OK Jarl Varg sends his Sympathies? Sympathetics? Sympathies, I think.
Thank you.
I'm sorry to be so formal, but funerals are so difficult.
What's the right thing to say? Can you smile when you meet some old friends? Things like that.
It isn't easy.
I guess there's no right and wrong in these situations.
The important thing is that you show up.
Thank you.
Mostly coins.
With some rocks and stuff on the bottom.
Just to make it feel a bit heavy.
It's fine.
It seems like the first domino has fallen.
Don't rule out that the Arvid domino is the next to fall.
What's "domino"? Domino is some kind of game.
Varg got it from this merchant from somewhere out in the boonies.
OK.
And if you line up the pieces, you can trigger some kind of chain reaction.
Where one piece falls after another.
Loki if I know.
I was just told to say that to you.
Am I supposed to know what a chain reaction is? Do people walk around knowing these things? All I know is what I was told to say to you.
And now I've said it.
So I guess it's up to you, how you interpret it.
But I don't know what to interpret.
But I I told you.
I don't know it any better than you.
I'm I'm sending a message.
What Varg told me to say.
And now I've said it.
But I'm sure you know the essence of what you're talking about.
So is that a threat, or what is it? Well, I guess it is a threat, yeah.
I'm pretty sure of that.
Have you planned any Any type of food gathering? Snacks gathering? After the ceremony? Yeah, we'll have a gathering.
For the closest family.
And friends.
OK.
Well, I was supposed to go anyway.
It's getting late.
See you.
Oh great Odin! Please welcome the Lawspeaker to Valhalla.
Dig.
- Just some quick input.
- Yes? Shouldn't we send some slaves with him, as well? What do you mean? The Lawspeaker could use some slaves on his journey to Valhalla.
As consolation for not getting a ship.
Yes, that's a great suggestion.
I'm thinking all three.
No, we can't send all three.
We need Kark to dig the burial mound.
OK.
You two.
Cheer up! It's one of the greatest honors for a subhuman.
To be buried next to a respected Lawspeaker.
- Can we eat some of the fruit? - No, of course not.
That's human food, for his journey to Valhalla.
Kark? Good luck in Helheim! I hear they have an own department for excluders.
We don't believe in Helheim or Valhalla.
So this trip is going to be a total waste, as far as I'm concerned.
Yeah, I mean, I'm a Christian, if you've heard of that.
I believe in Jesus from Nazareth.
So this really doesn't make any sense to me.
Well, you'll just have to bite your tongues.
Now lie down! You know, it's just so totally against my self-preservation instincts.
To lie down here and be buried like this.
Kark? Beat hand! Beat hand.
Allow me! Well, well, well, Kark.
The Tree of Exclusion bears bitter fruit.
What? I'm just saying that I'm not a man you should exclude from social activities.
You missed one Friday-night mead, and this is how you react? Those are my friends in there.
No, they were your friends, Kark.
They were the ones you'd rather drink and barbecue with than me.
I've apologized for that.
Well, you know, times are going to change around here.
And then it won't be so easy being Kark.
But it's never been easy for me.
I'm utterly impoverished.
Just look at me.
I'm 18 years old and I look like I'm well over 40.
Well, anyway.
There is a funeral feast and you are not invited.
Or, no.
We need you to wait tables.
So I guess I'll see you there.
OK.
There are so many erogenous zones on the body.
So my latest discovery is a walnut-sized gland in your colon that is extremely erogenous.
It gives you pleasure like nothing you'd believe.
It's like having Thor himself up in We just talked about it.
Have you read those law - Sources.
- The law sources about marriage? If it still applies, if one spouse has become an outlaw.
Because then it doesn't, does it? That.
Yes.
Right.
It turns out that when the outlaw is freed, the marriage is still valid.
Huh? That's excellent, Frøya! Then I can crawl into the crook of your arm tonight.
It's been so long.
No, you're not gonna do that.
I just have to insist that you cut your hair short.
It's about time.
Preferably crew cut! Frøya.
We'll work this out.
There has to be some solution.
I just can't be married to Orm anymore.
There's no way.
I understand that, but apparently that's how the rules work.
But there has to be something we can do.
I mean I have a strong feeling that everything will work out when we get to the thing.
If we can just stick it out until then, everything will be OK.
Why do you think that? Because good things happen to good people.
And we're good.
You and I.
Wow.
Sure is crowded here today.
Yeah.
- It stops here, Arvid.
- Hm? You heard me.
It stops here.
No more "protection money.
" There has to be, or else you won't be protected anymore.
And then anything can happen.
Well, what you see here, Arvid, is a peasant army.
This is a grass-roots rebellion.
This rebellion will spread.
And when we're finished, we will have a new form of government.
OK? The people shall decide.
Not a power elite that exploits the weak with weapons and superior force.
I see.
The time is long overdue.
We demand majority decisions by democratically-elected bodies.
Well, that sounds pretty solid.
Or what do you say, Frøya? Yeah, I think it's great.
Yeah.
I've been waiting for this.
I mean, I think we should give Eigil that thing.
Yeah, I think he deserves it now.
But where did I put it? - Didn't you pack it on the horse? - I think I saw it over there.
Yeah? OK.
Yeah Ah, it's here! OK.
What is? Is it just a fist, or Ah, is it a symbol of the power of the people? Huh? Great.
Right in the solar plexus.
- Stand still.
- Ow! - Yeah, yeah.
- Don't! Do we agree that this peasant revolt is over? Yeah.
Absolutely.
I think you might have underestimated our profession here, if you think you can simply become warriors instead of farmers.
Yeah.
I'm sorry if we maybe took a little too much.
But we're going to the thing, so we're going to need a little extra.
Yeah, I understand.
- Excellent.
All right, see you later.
- Yeah, see you later.
Yeah.
I'll see you.
Before you know it!