Northern Exposure s03e19 Episode Script

Wake Up Call

Tulips? Crocuses.
I thought it might be nice to watch 'em bloom.
Excellent breakfast, Holling.
Fresh eggs.
You know, there's nothing quite so satisfying as fresh eggs.
You can poach 'em, you can scramble 'em, you can fry 'em, you can devil 'em.
And you can't go wrong with a pickled egg.
I suppose not.
What do I owe here? No, no.
Didn't you see our sign? "Free breakfast any hour.
" It's our spring starter- eggs all day.
It's hard to believe that another year has gone by.
I'm gonna have to change my wardrobe - get out some pastels.
Hey, that's the spirit.
Thanks for the freebie, Holling.
Now, you come back and get a free fried egg sandwich for lunch.
Give me that java there.
Thank you, Dave.
You're welcome.
Can I sweeten this up for you, Maurice? I couldn't drink the first cup.
Why the hell would I want another one? Something wrong with it? No, it's just the same.
The same old dishwater swill you've been serving up day in and day out for 25 years.
Some people are partial to it.
Well, it's the last cup of it I'll drink.
There's a whole world of coffee out there, Holling.
There's French roast.
There's vanilla bean.
There's Jamaican blue mountain.
Open your eyes, for heaven's sake.
Order up.
Greetings, Cicely, on this most exceedingly beautiful spring morning.
A morning swollen with new life.
A morning on which, if I had the voice, I would let loose with song.
Ah! It's hard to believe just a few short weeks ago at this hour, we were eating our cornflakes in the wintery dark, and now- Well, it's still kind of dim out there.
But I can see the golden glow of Apollo's chariot, waiting in the wings, about to make its entrance.
Winter's on the lam.
Ain't no doubt about it.
Like my late Uncle Roy Bower, whose arthritic knee unfailingly predicted the onset of rain, yours truly, Chris in the Morning, is blessed with allergies that herald the vernal equinox.
Yes indeedy.
The marsh marigolds are definitely abloom.
Got a little P.
Last night a brown bear scavenging for a midnight snack was spotted at the corner of Spruce and Main.
The mighty ursus is hungry after his long siesta, and no one needs a confrontation.
So keep those trash cans covered.
I'm gonna play this one for me.
That's repugnant.
What's that? Slobbering over the airwaves like that.
Do you think people like listening to your phlegm? - It's spring, Maurice.
- I don't give a damn.
Take an antihistamine.
And play something else.
I'm sick of that.
- Well, I just got that.
- Well, it sounds like everything else you play.
Get rid of it.
Now, when did you first notice this? Couple days ago.
Holling was gonna drive us over to Kipnuk.
They got a new band at the Bali Hai.
So I decided to do my nails French style.
It's kind of a hassle, you know.
Not like a regular manicure.
So it's two days ago? You gotta put on a base coat, then the white tips, and after that the clear pink.
Now, is the rash anywhere else? Mm-mmm.
The band sucked canal water.
Retread Guns N' Roses.
And who wants to be them? I mean, can you believe Slash? Wh-What? Slash? Playing for MichaelJackson.
Shelly, how about we just stick to the business at hand? Um, now, did you ever put anything on it? On what? On the rash.
Are you mad, Dr.
Fleischman? Mad? No.
Why? I don't know.
You seem kind of ticked off.
Shelly, what you're observing in my behavior is my professional detachment.
I'm trying to conduct a medical examination.
You come to me, your physician, with a problem.
I'm doing my best to diagnose it.
You have what's called contact dermatitis.
Sounds crummy.
No, not really.
It's also known as dishpan hands.
You work in a restaurant.
You wash dishes.
You irritate your skin.
It's very common, easily treatable.
I never got it before.
Well, just put a little cream on it, wear gloves, and it should clear up right away.
Bye, Dr.
Bye, Shelly.
Bye-bye, Marilyn.
See you, Shel.
Hey, Maggie.
I can't believe it.
Six pounds, eight ounces.
I just can't believe it.
What's that? A girl I went to high school with, Elizabeth Schroeder.
She used to be Elizabeth Kerry.
She just had a baby.
I didn't even know she was married.
Boy or girl? What? The baby.
Was it a boy or a girl? Oh, I don't even know.
Let's see.
It's a boy.
All right.
I wonder how she met him.
It was probably in the delivery room.
Of course, unless she had it at home.
No, I mean her husband.
I never meet anybody.
And even if I do, it's never someone I even conceive of having a relationship with.
Why is it all the good guys are taken, Ed? Well- It's 'cause I missed the first round.
That's it.
I mean, these things are cyclical.
All the men I'd ever be interested in are already married.
So I guess I'll just have to be patient.
Wait for the divorces.
Okay, see you next week.
Uh, hello.
I'm Leonard Quinhagak.
Oh, how do you do? Marilyn's cousin.
The healer.
You mean like medicine man? Right.
Well, uh, have a seat, Mr.
All right.
Uh, what seems to be the problem? I, uh, wouldn't really call it a problem.
Joel- May I call you Joel? Okay.
Uh, I've been practicing medicine since I was 12.
Almost 30 years.
My training has been very orthodox- uh, very traditional.
But, you know, lately, I've begun to think that my approach has been too narrow- that I should open myself up to alternative forms, less holistic.
Maybe it's biologic, but at my age, you begin to, uh, question things, reevaluate your life.
Not just professionally, but, uh, everything.
Even my marriage.
It's as if once the kids had left the house, my wife and I had nothing to say to each other.
Uh, Leonard, is there something specific that you might have wanted? I'd like to work on my suturing technique.
But, uh, other than that, no.
I want to observe- uh, get an overview of, uh, so-called, uh, conventional medicine.
Uh, don't worry.
I won't get in your way.
Just forget I'm here.
Um, Leonard, I'm afraid that you wouldn't learn a lot about conventional medicine here.
I have a very uninteresting practice.
It's boring actually.
It's mind-numbing.
Uh, forgive me, Joel.
l-I seem to be at a loss.
How's that? I thought this was all arranged.
Arranged? Marilyn said you were delighted to have me come.
Oh, Marilyn said that? Huh.
Um, yeah, right.
Um, would you excuse me for just one minute? Of course.
Marilyn, your cousin- Leonard.
I don't recall saying he could observe me.
You did.
When? When did I say that? Last week I asked you when you were playing Game Boy.
You asked me when I was playing Game Boy? You said yes.
I was playing Game Boy.
I wasn't listening.
I would have said yes to anything- to gum surgery.
You said yes.
Hon, you coming to bed soon? I'll be out in a jiffy.
You lock the Dumpster so the bears don't get in? I did indeed.
There's my big bear.
Shel, I thinkJoel meant you only need gloves when you wash dishes.
I know.
It's just that my hands look so icky.
Here I come.
These sheets are so scratchy.
You been scarfing saltines in bed again? No, ma'am.
Easy does it.
I'm- I'm sorry.
What is it? Don't be so rough.
l-I barely touched you.
l-I brushed my teeth.
It's not that.
You smell normal.
It just hurts.
Hurts? My breath hurts? It's hot and windy.
It feels like I'm standing in front of a blast furnace.
Shelly, what's going on? I don't know.
Can't you just kiss me without breathing on me? I can try.
No, I can't.
It feels like a zillion pins and needles.
Shelly- Ooh.
I'm sorry, Holling.
I don't know what's the matter.
Everything feels so- What? So much more.
Listen, Cicely.
Can you hear it? Spring's sweet cantata.
The stains of grass pushing through the snow.
The song ofbuds swelling on the vine.
The tender timpani of a baby robin's heart.
Continuing our bear watch, Maggie O'Connell has spotted an ursine prowler in her front yard.
Spring, spring, spring.
Naturally, this young man's fancy turns to thoughts of death.
Not death in the "That's all, folks" kind of death, but death in the cyclical sense, like high tide, low tide, sunrise, sunset.
You know, that kind of thing.
Bears, which we've all had on our minds lately- They really say it all, you know.
Their- Their deathlike sleep in the sepulchre of the cave, followed by their awakening rebirth.
Excuse moi.
Death and resurrection - something bears and deities have in common.
Point of fact: In many cultures, bears themselves were considered gods.
You know, 60- way before Mithra, before the burning bush, Christ, Buddha, what do you think our Neolithic brothers lied prostrate to? Hmm? Bears.
Keep it covered, guys.
They're out there.
Shelly? Holling.
What is it? Are you all right? No.
! I've been nuked.
Have you been under that sunlamp again? Look at me.
This is not a sunburn.
Holling, I know sunburn, and this is definitely not.
Now, just take it easy, honey.
M-Maybe-Your skin's just a little dry.
A little dry? I'm disintegrating.
God! What's happening to me? I look like Swamp Thing! Look.
It's all over my arms and my face.
Check my back.
Is it on my back? Oh, Lord.
I can't believe it.
- Hi.
- Need any help? Well, uh, yes.
Yes, I do, actually.
Well, you better get in.
Sorry? I'll push.
Hey, listen.
I really appreciate it.
Be careful.
I will.
See, it's often difficult to make the correct diagnosis until a condition fully manifests itself.
You ever have measles? Uh-huh.
Yeah? Yeah? Morning.
Uh, Shelly, this is Leonard.
He's observing me for a few days.
However, if you prefer he weren't present, it's okay.
Are you a doctor? Healer.
How about you? I'm a waitress.
Oh, really? My sister's a waitress over in King Salmon.
Boy, she's on her feet all day.
Never stops.
It's hard work.
Tell me about it.
Lots of stress too.
People never let you know when they like something.
They only complain.
Oh, yeah.
Rag, rag, rag.
Excuse me.
Um, have you been eating differently? Any new foods? Same old, same old.
Well, sometimes I sneak a pack of Sour Patch Kids, but- Different soap? Detergent? Perfume? I got new boots.
Hey, those are nice.
- Thanks.
- My older daughter's got a birthday coming up.
She'd love a pair of boots like that.
Forty-six bucks, plus shipping and handling.
And they also come in burgundy and black.
Drop by The Brick.
I'll give you the catalog.
Thank you.
I'll do that.
May I finish, please? Thank you.
I believe it's nothing more than an allergic reaction.
Nothing to worry about, but I'm gonna give you some cortisone.
I want you to rub it on the affected areas twice a day.
Nice meeting you.
You too.
And, uh, thanks for the tip on the boots.
Shelly seems pretty well adjusted.
She makes good eye contact.
How does she get on with animals? With animals? I have no idea.
What, you don't ask? No.
Oh, I see.
Does, uh- Does she garden? Look, Leonard.
l- I don't mind you sitting in, really.
But if we could just stick to medicine, okay? I'm on a schedule here.
Yeah? Yeah, okay.
See, I like that.
It's wonderful how quickly you can make a diagnosis.
I, on the other hand, spend hours with patients.
Sometimes days.
I go fishing with them.
I eat with them.
I spend the night in their homes.
It's not just time-consuming.
It's taxing.
Yes, I can imagine.
Thank you.
Next! Come on, Marilyn.
There is no next.
Can I help you, Maurice? I'm looking for some aftershave lotion.
You just bought a case of Old Spice.
I know that, Ruth-Anne.
I was slapping some on my face this morning, just like I've done every day for 30 years, and it seemed wrong.
What's this "Bowling Green" stuff here? Oh, Geoffrey Beene.
All the big designers are making aftershave lotion now.
I don't know.
I don't know what I'm looking for.
There's- Everything's the same.
There's no surprises.
I only have so much shelf space, Maurice.
All right.
I'll take it.
Don't do it on my account.
You know, I loved boot camp.
Boot camp? Yeah.
, Parris Island.
Everybody else bitched and moaned, but I loved it.
You know why? I haven't the faintest idea.
Because you got to start over.
The corps divested you of your civilian self.
It shaved your head, took away your clothes.
Tore you down and then built you up again.
You walked in one man, and you walked out another.
Everybody should do that once in a while, Ruth-Anne.
Or they get stagnant.
Trouble is I'm too old for boot camp.
I don't know.
What is it? Oh, it's you.
I was passing by, and I saw your truck.
Oh, sorry, sorry.
l-I don't normally greet visitors with this gun.
It's just that bear has been hanging around.
l-I thought you were the bear.
Well, there's been a bear hanging around, digging through garbage cans.
Looking for food, huh? Yeah.
I know bears.
Might not be food he's looking for.
No? What would he be looking for? It might be you.
Me? Stranger things have happened.
Bears have big hearts.
They fall in love.
And sometimes they fall in love with human beings.
Get outta here.
What? You're saying this bear has a crush on me? I certainly wouldn't fault him if he did.
I don't think we've actually, uh, introduced ourselves, have we? I'm Maggie.
Maggie O'Connell.
It's cold out here.
Would you like to come in and have something to drink? I should go.
Are you hungry? I just opened a can of soup.
I'd like to stay, but I can't.
Your eyes- Are they brown? My eyes? Yes.
Uh - Actually, I think they're a little more hazel.
They're very beautiful.
Well, good night.
Good night.
Anybody here? Hi, Leonard.
Is Dr.
Fleischman in? No.
He had to make a house call over near Little Sitkin.
- Oh.
- No better, huh? It's so gross.
The customers are all freaked out.
They don't even want to get near me.
Even old Kyle Butler.
He always gives me a kiss on the cheek.
Today he pretended like he didn't even see me.
And his skin is even worse than mine with all those liver spots.
Have a seat.
Try some banana bread.
I made it this morning.
It looks good.
You cook? Not much.
I make tuna salad, sloppy joes, cinnamon toast, creamy corn casserole.
Stuff like that.
This is yummy.
Oh, thanks.
Holling- that's my guy- he cooks.
But right now he's just into eggs.
To tell the truth, I'm not wild about eggs.
Would you pass me the butter, please? Sure.
I had an egg once.
Not to eat.
To, you know, grow.
My Aunt Marge gave it to me.
She said if I kept it warm, it would hatch.
My dad said Marge was a wacko.
It was just a plain old supermarket egg.
But I believed her.
At night, I kept it nice and cozy under a lamp.
And during the daytime, I carried it around in a sock under my sweater.
What happened? Nothing.
After six months, my dad said he didn't want a rotten egg in the house 'cause it might break and stink up the place.
But I couldn't just dump it in the trash.
I had to see what was inside, you know.
So I cracked it open.
Inside there was this little bitty chick.
He'd been dead a long time.
I mean a long, long time.
I was real bummed.
But at least my Aunt Marge wasn't crazy.
That's a very interesting story.
You know, it sets me to thinking.
- Yeah? - Well, springtime, snow melts, grass grows, animals are born.
Little chicks come out of their shells.
I think that's what's happening to you.
You're a chick coming out of your shell.
I am? You're shedding your skin.
You mean like a snake? Exactly.
You're shedding your skin to be reborn- to be new.
Really? Mm-hmm.
How'd you do that? That was great.
Very nice.
That was incredible.
I've never seen anybody catch a fish like that before.
My mother taught me.
Your mother? We all fish.
All? My family.
Uh, wife? Brothers and sisters.
So, who walks the dog? The dog? Oh, it's-it's just an expression.
I live alone.
Would you like to see my home? Sure.
Why not? Whoo! What are you doing? We have to cross the water.
Well, you're crazy.
The water's freezing! I'm used to it.
You'll get frostbite.
Oh, my God.
I'm fine, really.
It's not far.
Hey, Maurice.
How about this? Toss it.
What about this? Yeah.
That too.
How do they get these in there? Oh, well, first they build the ship, and then they collapse it and put it- Never mind.
Take it if you want it.
Thank you.
I can use this.
You know, every spring, my mother would clean house from top to bottom.
She'd get the whole family involved.
We'd all have to pitch in.
We'd take down the curtains and wash 'em.
And we'd beat the rugs.
We'd, uh, scrub everything until it was absolutely pristinely clean.
It was like she was driven.
She was obsessed.
She wouldn't give up until everything was so clean it looked brand-new.
I never understood that obsession.
Until now.
Maurice! A kilt, just like in Tunes of Glory.
These belonged to my grandfather.
We were MacAllisters on the distaff side of the family.
He was a Royal Highlander.
Forty-second Regiment.
Black Watch.
What have you got there? Oh, yeah.
I can still smell his tobacco.
Cherry blend.
After the war, Granddad moved to the United States and bought a farm in northern Oklahoma.
I used to spend my summers there.
They were the best times of my life.
At night he'd stand on the porch and play these.
The sound of the pipes, filling the heavy, still night air.
Toss 'em? Leonard, did you tell Shelly she was shedding her skin - she was being reborn? It's a wonder this thing didn't start a fire.
Did you? Did you tell her that? Uh-huh.
Okay, look.
First of all, you had no right to intervene medically with one of my patients.
Second of all, how could you? How could you in good conscience tell a person they're sloughing their skin like a boa constrictor? I could be wrong.
You could be? You could be wrong? Well, let me ask you this, Joel.
You diagnosed Shelly as having an allergic reaction.
Are you positive about that? Positive? No, I am not positive.
I don't know of a responsible physician who would say he was 100% positive.
There's always a margin of doubt.
Wait, wait, wait.
If you're comparing an empirical scientific diagnosis with some kind of metaphysical New Age nonsense- Joel, let's not kid ourselves.
Whatever we diagnose, most patients, if they don't die, get well by themselves.
Our job is mainly to try to make them feel better.
Do no harm.
If you're asking my advice- Asking your advice? I am not asking your advice.
You're bored with your practice, right? What are you talking about? Well, you said your practice was boring.
So? Ever read Stanislavsky? Cardiologist? Acting teacher.
He said, "There are no small parts, only small actors.
" Would you tell me what this has to do with anything? Well, you're bored because you're boring.
I'm what? Boring.
I'm boring? One of the most boring people I ever met.
I can't believe you just said that.
Do you have any idea how insulting that is, what you just said? I open my office, I extend to you this courtesy, and you insult me? Now you're angry.
Yeah! Yeah! I'm angry! Well, good.
See, that's not boring.
Bye, Joel.
Look at this.
A cave.
Are you cold? Uh, no.
I'm fine.
You may not find this comfortable, but for me it's home.
Would you like something to eat? Were you expecting someone? - You.
- Me? Well, I was hoping you'd come.
Please, sit down.
What's that? Mead.
Mead? Uh-huh.
It's made from honey.
To you.
We make it ourselves.
We? Oh.
Your family.
Did you grow up around here? Yes.
Crowberries? Oh, thanks.
Just a few.
Uh, your parents still- still live around here? Well, my father lives in the mountains, but my mother was killed.
Killed? Mmm.
I'm sorry.
Oh, I was young.
It was such a long time ago.
Where's your family? Well, my folks still live in Grosse Pointe.
And, uh, my brother, he just moved to Coeur d'Alene.
But you have no man? No man? Mate.
Uh, well, I had a boyfriend, but, uh, he- he died.
Um, well, he got hit by- Well, never mind.
Uh, and then I had a boyfriend before him, and - and, uh, he froze to death.
Um- So on and so forth, you know.
You're alone.
I'm alone too.
Would you like to dance? - Dance? - Uh-huh.
Here? I mean- I mean, right now? Please.
I never danced in a cave before.
You're very graceful.
Well, l- I mean, for someone who's so tall.
Thank you.
One day in the forest I looked up, and I saw you.
That day, um, when I was stuck with my truck? Before that.
You were in the sky.
My plane? You saw me when I was in my airplane? Mm-hmm.
I've felt for a long time that there was something missing from my life.
And when I saw you, I knew what it was.
Hey, good news, Cicely.
After the first shock of spring, my allergies are waning.
Just a little postnasal drip remains.
Oh, other good news- uh, no new bear sightings lately.
I guess our fat furry friends have headed to the hills to make new little bears.
Before we say good-bye, let's take a look back at those great cave bears of old and talk about a very special birth.
About the same time our Cro-Magnon ancestors started burying themselves, they started doing the same thing with bears.
What's that mean? What are you- What are you saying here, Stevens? Well, I'm talking about the big bang of the human psyche: the recognition of death.
We saw death, and we did what no other animal had done before.
We dealt with it.
We hit on the idea that death wasn't an end.
It was a- a passage.
That's why we gave Mr.
Bear a proper burial - so he wouldn't come back mad.
Trying to make sense of the unknowable- whatJoseph Campbell calls the "awakening of awe.
" "That awakening to the mystery of death, and therewith of life, "which, more than physical transformation, elevated man above the level of beasts.
" That blessed event that I talked about? Birth of the human spirit.
Hey, Fleischman.
How you doing? Hey.
I'm fine.
Glad to hear it.
Oh, yeah? Why is that? I don't know.
Why-Why not? Feeling all right, O'Connell? Yeah, you bet.
Anything in your cabin need fixin'? My cabin? Uh-huh.
You're offering to fix my cabin? Mm-hmm.
Well, um, actually, there's a loose board on the porch.
Got it.
I'll fix it.
You're gonna fix it today? See you, Joel.
Sunny-side up.
Denver omelet.
Thank you.
Two poached, little runny.
Top of the morning, Joel.
Where's Shelly? Initially I ruled out psoriasis - I mean, there were no psoriatic plaques in evidence.
However, it turns out this is consistent with an acute generalized flare-up.
Well, Shelly's fine, Joel.
She is? Yeah.
See for yourself.
Excuse me.
Hi, Dr.
What's up? Wow.
How do you like my new skin? It's radiant.
Just like Leonard said, huh? Yeah.
Don't get down on yourself, Dr.
I mean, 'cause you didn't guess right.
You never heard the egg story.
The egg story? Yeah.
See, Leonard and I had this heart-to-heart.
That's when I told him the egg story.
That's how come he knew.
Two over easy up.
Thanks, Shelly.
Hey, Marilyn.
Is, uh, Leonard still here? Inside.
Hello there, Joel.
Let me give you a hand.
Taking off, huh? Yeah.
I gotta get back.
You know what it's like when you leave town.
All your patients get sick.
Hey, um, Shelly looks great.
She does, doesn't she? You know, Leonard, when you're in your third year of medical school, you start making rounds, and- Well, l-I was terrible with patients.
I was stiff, unnatural.
I didn't know how to talk to 'em.
My palms would literally sweat.
My upper lip would twitch.
I just - I dreaded going up on the wards.
Actually, l- I started to seriously think about specializing in pathology.
See, uh, that way I wouldn't have to deal with people - just pieces of'em.
That makes sense, I guess.
But there was this one patient, and he'd been in the hospital, I guess about two weeks.
Abdominal pain, weight loss, low-grade fever.
Nobody could diagnose him.
And I'm talking to the guy one day - you know, not as a doctor, just shooting the breeze.
It turns out he was a fisherman.
And he'd been down to the Sea of Cortez about a month before.
And I said, "Whoa.
The Sea of Cortez.
" Amoebic infection.
How'd you know? Well, we have something similar up here.
From walrus.
Well, a week later, he's out of the hospital, and- and when he left, he shook my hand.
And he said, "Dr.
Fleischman, you saved my life.
" And, uh, that was it for pathology.
I haven't thought about that in a long time.
Nice flowers.
Don't forget to water 'em.
Take care.
Hello? Arthur? Anybody here? Arthur? Arthur? You know that birth of the human spirit? It's reflected in each and every one of us.
Case in point, a second story.
A man I knew in stir named Chuck.
Chuck spent about a month in the infirmary after being stabbed in the lung.
When they brought him back to the prison laundry where we both worked, he said to me, "Chris, live every day like it might be your last.
" That's a tired old chestnut, I know, but try roasting it like this.
It ought to be spring every day.
Every day we ought to wake up brand-new.
"Ah! Up then from the ground sprang I and hailed the earth with such a cry "as not heard save from a man, who has been dead, and lives again.
"About the trees my arms I wound; "Like one gone mad I hugged the ground; "I raised my quivering arms on high; I laughed and laughed into the sky.