Northern Exposure s05e06 Episode Script

Birds of a Feather

Ma, Dad.
How do you like that? She just put the plane on the grass like there was an airport.
Watch your step, Mom.
Be careful.
Right there.
It's so warm here, I'm toasting.
This is Alaska.
Right? Watch your head.
Icebergs, igloos, polar bears, am I wrong? Hot! Hi, sweetheart.
Igloos are a little farther north.
Come on.
Give your mom a big hug.
Finally, I thought I'd die.
Ma, it's good to see you.
Look at you.
You're so handsome.
Doesn't he look good? Looks good.
Dad, how are you doing? Have a good flight? Ever fly in a plane like that? Nope.
We saw a glacier on the way over.
Can you imagine? Isn't that what she said? Well, I can tell you, that TV just doesn't do the color justice.
How could it? I'll help the girl with the bags.
- Oh, no, no, no.
L- Let me get these.
- I'll do it.
Come on.
I'll do it.
Thank you.
What, Ma? I don't know.
It's just-just so wild up here.
Look at it.
I mean, we're so far from anything, aren't we? Yeah.
You can feel it.
It's- Isolated.
I expect to be charged by a moose any minute.
Let me tell you something, you have reached the geographical axis of the middle of nowhere.
I'm not kidding.
All right.
I think that's everything.
Here's your purse.
Thank you.
This yours,Joel? Courtesy of the great state of Alaska.
You realize you got a good-sized rust spot in that wheel well.
If I were you, I'd take a wire brush to it and prime it before it eats through the fender.
Three bucks worth of paint and a half hour on a Saturday, saves you 500 bucks on a new fender.
You know what? You're right.
You're absolutely right.
I should take care of it.
I will.
Thank you.
Okay, guys.
I think you're set.
Nice meeting you.
You too and thank you.
Have a good time.
Watch your feet.
Seems like a very nice girl.
Hey, uh, if you're not doing anything later, why don't you stop by? Yeah? Well, I don't know, Fleischman.
I don't want to intrude.
Don't you have a lot of catching up to do? Yeah, we do.
I just thought, you know, a little home cooking.
You're a friend.
Fleischman, you're gonna be okay.
What? Of course I will.
Yeah, you will.
See ya.
See ya.
One Super Sub Special.
Shelly, hon.
Road Freight dropped this by for you.
Me? From San Diego.
Another baby-things box from your mom, no doubt.
Tamster strikes again! Imagine- Child hasn't even taken his first breath, already he's got two of most everything.
Oh, wow! It's a troll mobile.
Can you see this twirling overhead for stimulation? What vibrant hair.
Holling, they have their own show.
Oh, ho.
No way.
Grab your socks, H.
You are gonna love this.
What is it? Ready? A ball glove.
Mmm! Smells like real leather, almost.
"Something for the little guy to scoop up the grounders.
" Does Tammy's hub know what's what or what? Mighty thoughtful of Kenny.
Bet you can't wait, huh, H? You and the little guy, out back of the alley playing toss-ums? You'll be having such a gas, I'll have to lasso you to get you back up to the love grotto.
So he fakes his own suicide and he runs off to Mexico with a chippy and, meanwhile, in San Diego, his business empire is completely crumbling.
Now, if Kinsey Millhone finds out thatJaffe is still alive down there- his wife, by the way, is a horrible human being- she is gonna have to return the insurance benefits.
What's so great about Sue Grafton is there's always a clever twist.
You're rooting for him, not her.
I won't tell you what happens.
You've got a bad seal gasket on that stool in there.
You didn't hear it dripping? Uh, no.
Well, you're filling up your cesspool needlessly.
Cesspool, right? Gotta be.
You know, I-I, um- I don't know.
Oh, you'll know.
Okay, you two.
One more minute on the beans.
All righty.
I used to cook the life out of green beans till they were almost mush, remember? Now, everything is al dente and,you know, I think they're right.
Hey, you still driving the van? I, uh, bought a Horizon.
Really? You like it? It's okay.
- What do you say, Ma? I thought we were gonna eat.
- See? What did I tell you? Perfect.
Skin's crispy.
And, lookit, all the fat runs into the pan.
Oh, look at that.
That is absolutely delicious-looking.
You preheat to 425- Fifteen minutes a pound.
I tuck some garlic cloves, maybe six or seven, between the skin and the flesh.
Some people say fresh sage, but I've tried the powder, nothing terrible happens.
- I'm leaving this roaster for you.
- Your mother and that roaster.
Oh,yeah? Before I had it, I was skinning the chicken.
- It was so dry, you wouldn't touch it.
- You know, I have a thought.
There, um-You might be more comfortable, there's this great B&B down the road.
I mean, it's really nice.
A hotel? - Don't be silly.
- It's just an idea, you know.
It's a little newer.
What do you think we're doing here? We came to see you.
Oh! The beans.
And,Joel, listen to me.
You don't have to be some expert to cook this chicken.
You don't even have to look at it till you take it out of the oven.
You might want to squeeze a little lemon on it just before you carve.
But, uh,you didn't have any lemon.
There's a plastic one in the fridge.
Nadine! Nadine, can we eat? What? Here's the pitch.
It's hit deep to center.
He's going back.
It's going over! No.
Catch it, man! Go for it! Way back to the warning track.
Oh! Beautiful catch! Oh! Damn it! How'd he do that? Whole arm goes back over the fence.
Hey, Holling, time for twofers yet? Uh-huh.
Couple more of the same, Chris? Yeah, give me some of them rinds, would ya? Good game, huh? Nothing like your local neighborhood tavern this time of year.
Pennant drive's on.
Pitchers coming in with their smoke high and fast.
Runners running.
I mean am I-Am I right, Holling, or am I right or am I right? Wish I could agree.
What say, Holling? Chris, can I unburden myself to you? What you got going on there, Holling? It's this baseball business- All sports, really.
You see I never paid much mind to it before, but now with Sh- with Shelly in the family way- Right.
I'm, uh- I mean, she's all skippers about me playing catch with the child.
I'm not the kind of fellow that, uh, that enjoys that type of activity.
What, playing ball? Oh, Chris, it bores me foolish- Numb, really.
Even when I was a youngster, other kids, you know, they curled on the ice, skated hockey.
Me? I always preferred the company of my 20-gauge, and I ate what I killed.
Wait a second, Holling.
Let me get this straight.
You saying you don't like sports? Especially baseball.
That game is as slow as sap.
Holling, I never had you figured for this kind of fellow, you know what I mean? I mean, you always got the game on the tube there.
You know, you talk the talk.
Well, patrons expect the barkeep to know the score, but as far as liking it and as far as being a pa who plays ball with his youngster- Well, let me tell you, you'd be- You'd be bucking a heavy bonding ritual.
I mean, you know, even my old man, when he wasn't wailing on me, we're out there, you know, I'm shagging flies.
Yeah, well, it's beginning to gnaw on me.
Hey, Holling, this is no reason to beat yourself up.
I mean, there's gotta be plenty of guys like you.
They like to get out there with the old lady and hit the mall instead of get a couple of cases, you know, some chips, you know, hooting and hollering with the fellows.
You think? Oh, yeah, there got to be, Holling.
I mean, I don't know any of'em, but they gotta be out there, right? We've been after Leo three years to network our computers.
I have to walk my floppy disks over to Pearl's hard drive to print my payroll.
How productive can that be? I hope these pears turn out.
Have you got some Equal in there? In Guardian Angel she didn't say whether they were Bartlett or Bosc.
That's the Paretsky.
Warshowski served poached pears in cream.
Stimudent? Huh.
Coronary bypass surgery.
Yeah? A lot of controversy stirring pro and con.
So what do you think? I think it's complicated.
The operation? The subject.
Mom? Nadine? Mom? Mom? Ma? What's going on? What are you doing out here? Oh, nothing.
A- Are you okay? I mean, is everything all right? Listen to that.
It's so still.
You could hear the bird's wing creak.
The bird's? Yeah, it flew by again.
A bird? Oh, a marvelous big bird,Joel.
Didn't you ever see it? I- I don't think so.
A K-Bear P.
Still some spaces left on the baseball pool over at The Brick.
Buck a pop, same as last year.
No ticket, no laundry.
It's a Ben Franklin to win.
And back by popular demand, yours truly is gonna be giving his end-of-the-inning rundown for anybody who can't stick close to their sets.
And, citizens, oh, what a task that is, to paint in words the sheer athletic ability of Ken GriffeyJr.
climbing the wall to snag himself a homer.
The high anxiety of the game.
Bases loaded, two outs, bottom of the ninth.
Cotton mouth and beating heart.
Do you need any more than that? People,yesterday, I met a man who said he didn't care for the game.
Man, I felt so bad for this guy.
Doesn't like baseball.
How can you not like baseball? Hmm? How can you not love it? Can you even get into that head? Know why it wobbled? Some clown hammered a couple of 16 penny nails right into the cross bracing.
- See the wood? - It's split.
Three-quarter-inch fir can't take nothing but six.
If he'd, uh, pre-drilled, sunk some wood screws or even doweled the leg, I wouldn't have to be doing this.
Oh, that's some rash you got there.
What's it itch? No, more of a burnin' sensation.
Okay, tell you what.
Raleigh salve.
- Oh? - Combination antihistamine, diphenhydramine compound.
It'll help numb the itch, dry it out.
Comes in a little round tin, should be around four bucks.
- Hmm.
- Hey, Dad, I really appreciate this, but do you think you can wrap it up pretty soon, all right? And Mr.
Pettit, let's take a look at that rash.
That's all right, Dr.
Your father here told me about this Raleigh salve I should try.
- Raleigh salve? - It'll take the heat of it for him.
Yeah, that's true.
That is true, Mr.
Uh, you could try Raleigh's ointment.
It's basically calamine.
It'll relieve some itching and probably it won't harm you.
Or you can come inside and let me take a look and make sure that you don't have a secondary infection, then I will prescribe a two-percent hydrocortisone cream which would not only relieve the symptoms, it will heal the rash itself.
Well, I see.
This way, Mr.
I put some extra fish fritters and tartar sauce on there for you, hon.
High five on the bean 'n bacon today, H.
Well, that's mostly the Liquid Smoke.
Oh, boy.
All this ball game brouha.
Yeah, can't keep them in beer and salty nuts this time of year.
Yes, but, it's unbelievable, don't you think? How folks, uh, put so much store in the game? I guess.
Now you take Chris.
There's a fellow that usually sees both sides of the road.
But only yesterday I was talking to him about my feelings and my attitudes about the sport of baseball- Well, all sports, really, but how I don't really care for baseball, in particular, and how I've been concerned, you know, because the baby's coming and all, about becoming a good father.
Well, you should have seen the way he looked at me- Like I was from Neptune.
Imagine, huh? You don't like baseball? Oh, no.
No, I don't.
But, uh, I'm sorry that Chris blabbed it all over the radio.
But you like hockey, though, right? Shel, hockey? No, truth is, I don't have time for any of'em.
But for people to judge a man's worth, and his very manhood, according to the way he feels about a sport, and not to recognize it for the piddly inconsequential goings-on that it really is.
What is it, really? It's nothing, right? It's just a game.
It's just a game.
Hey, guys.
Look at me.
I went crazy over there.
I'm not much of a shopper, but you were right, Marilyn.
Ruth-Anne has a lot of cute things.
What do you think of these? Potholders.
I got 'em for all the girls in the office.
She had bears and wolves, but these jumped right off the shelves.
Cheerio? No, thank you.
I know they're breakfast food, but I pop 'em like candy.
I always have, ever since I was a kid.
Same as my aunt.
Your aunt? She snacks on Cheerios too? Uh-huh.
You're like her.
She's an eagle.
Your aunt? You are too.
What? I'm an eagle? Uh-huh.
Your spirit.
It's special.
Wow, really? Herb, did you hear Marilyn? She says I'm an eagle spirit.
- Mm-hmm.
- Want to see some eagles? - Real eagles? Birds? - I can show you.
Oh, you don't get a chance like that every day.
Bye, Herb.
You know there was a lovely aviary in the Bronx Zoo.
So, we'll see you next week, right? Well, that's comin' along, Dad.
I could've sworn I heard Mom out here, no? She was.
Oh, she left? Mm-hmm.
Where'd she go? Out.
Dad, where? With the Indian girl.
Marilyn? - Where'd they go? - Somethin' about lookin' for eagles.
Eagles? Birds.
I don't know.
You live up here.
- Are you hungry? - I could eat.
Let's go.
We almost moved to Peekskill when the kids were little, for a yard,you know, but Herb would've had to start all over again, put out flyers.
It takes a while to develop word of mouth.
This is it.
Here? Oh, isn't this gorgeous? It was worth every step of that walk.
This is my rock.
So, and you just come out here and, uh, what? You just take in all this beauty? I sit, think, and sometimes- Well, you think we're really gonna see some eagles today? Because nobody is gonna believe me.
What's that mean, anyway, to be an eagle spirit? Well, number one- Because it's funny, when you said that about my being an eagle.
I have always had a thing about eagles.
The eagle wasn't always the eagle.
Pardon? The eagle, before it became the eagle, was Yooxayatangi, the talker.
This is a legend? Yooxayatangi talked and talked.
It talked so much, it heard only itself- Not the river, not the wind, not even the wolf.
The raven came and said, "The wolf is hungry.
"If you stop talking, you'll hear him.
The wind too, and when you hear the wind, you'll fly.
" So he stopped talking.
And became its nature- The eagle.
The eagle soared, and its flight said all it needed to say.
- You gonna be running machinery on that slab? - No.
Just a small Cats.
We're gonna be moving some pallets around.
Make sure they've got enough Portland cement in the concrete mix then.
You want to get that as hard as possible.
Here's your longnecks, Mr.
Thanks, Shelly.
Another thing, since you're pouring in winter, keep an eye on the amount of calcium chloride they're willing to throw in there.
Well, uh, don't you have to use calcium chloride to make it set up quicker because of the cold? But there's a trade-off, Ruth-Anne.
Too much, it'll get brittle, eats at the steel support rods.
- Government jobs, we can't even use it.
- Hey,Joel, your old man really knows his business.
You kidding? Herb Fleischman, the man knows concrete.
- Tell 'em who knows anatomy then.
- Dad.
I'm serious.
Tell 'em who got you through that anatomy course in Colombia.
The poor kid just couldn't retain the names of the bones.
I had to quiz him every weekend.
He would've flunked.
Humerus, radius, ulna, phalanges, navicular, tibia, fibula, femur.
- I said,Joel, what is the femur if not a joist? - Excuse me.
Hey, that's right.
The femur is a joist.
I never thought about it that way before.
It must be real nice having your father up for a visit.
You planning on turning in anytime soon, Shel? Just got to get these valances hung.
And very fetching curtain ruffles they are too.
At least our kid'll have that much going for him.
Well, Holling, you could have told me.
You could have at least warned me.
You said yourself it's only a game.
Don't you think I don't know that, Holling.
I know that.
But it's not just about me anymore.
It's this.
What about our kid? What's it gonna be like for him when he's seven or something and all his little crew is out there- Worse, he won't even have a crew.
They'll be swinging bats and knockin' balls through people's windows.
Where's Pooper gonna be? Playing jacks? Skipping rope? Collecting stamps, like cousin Donny.
Who? Ginger's kid.
Donny got his butt whomped on a regular basis- Split lip, bloody nose.
Come running home with one shoe missing.
And you know why? It's 'cause he was a sports wuss.
It's the guys, Holling.
You gotta know that! Wh-What do dudes talk about? They talk about the Dodgers, the Sealskins, "B.
's"and stuff.
Like, Lookit.
Doctor F.
Major dweeb potential there, remember? But he coached b-ball, and he swings golf clubs.
And now he can hang in any bar on this planet.
I know it's just a stupid, little, stupid game, Holling.
But what else is there? Lorna Doones, butter brickle and butterscotch fudge.
That be it for today,Joel? Yeah.
Well, let me tell you something, this heap of empty calories is not for me.
It's for Herb.
Every night before he goes to bed, he has to have his two scoops.
Arteries be damned.
Oh, I threw in a-a box of, um, Good & Plenty.
Tell him, hello.
I'm sure he'll appreciate it.
All right.
I'll see you at 3:00.
Oh, my appointment? I canceled.
I thought that knee was giving you trouble.
Pain's all gone.
- Gone? - Uh, Herb lent me some of his oil of wintergreen.
My father gave you oil of wintergreen? And it worked fantastic.
I'm gonna start carrying it again.
Um- Let's just back up here, shall we? Oil of wintergreen is not what you need.
Well,Joel, it-it took the stiffness right out.
No, it didn't.
It-It relieved some of the pain, which is fine.
But you have D.
, Ruth-Anne.
We've been through this many times.
Degenerative joint disease.
The cartilage in your knee is degenerating.
It will continue to degenerate no matter how much wintergreen unguent you rub into the skin.
I want to see you at my office at 3:00.
If you insist.
I insist.
Fifty-nine? Number 59? Who didn't put the paper in the printer? Nadine? Refuse continues to pile up as the sanitation- Nadine,you seen the remote control? Get out of the road! Who taught you how to drive, huh? Your mother? Nadine? Nadine? Dad, I need to talk to you.
In a minute.
"In a minute"- That's perfect.
- Where's Mom? - She took a walk.
Look, I need to speak to you right now.
I want to get something straight.
I don't want you giving medical advice to my patients, do you understand? No one in this town, for that matter, not even a cough drop, is that clear? - What are you talking about? - You know exactly what I'm talking about.
And it's dangerous.
You are practicing medicine without a license.
Dad, it's a felony.
Don't you realize it demonstrates your complete lack of regard for me, my relationship to the people in this town? Fine.
Well, you-you know what? It's not fine, okay? I mean, you-you-you come here and you take over, just like you always do and you think you can do and say whatever you want and no one's gonna stop you.
- Well, I'm stopping you.
- Are you done? And just what do you think you're doing? I didn't ask you to fix my ceiling.
Some of the slap plaster's crumbly.
It needs patching.
See, that's what I mean.
Did I ask you to do it? No.
It's my ceiling.
if I want it fixed, Dad, believe me I'd say, " Please, my roof is leaking, fix it.
" - You want it raining on your head? Is that what you want? - That's right.
That's what I want.
I want it pouring, okay? I want a flood, I want a deluge.
I want a snowdrift in my living room.
- Every kind of inclement weather, I want it to come down on my head.
- Come on.
Dad, I-I'm not kidding.
Stop it.
Get out of here.
Give me the chisel.
Dad,just give me the chisel! Just- Hey! Let go of me! Dad, give me that chisel! Oh, man, all right.
This could be it! This could be all she wrote.
There's the windup.
The pitch.
No! No! It's all over, you bum! Hey.
Hey, I'll tell you boys something.
My guys are goin' all the way this year.
Series, here we come.
Aw, you can't even call it "ball" anymore.
Free agency ruined the damn game.
Hey, Dave, take a look there at the, uh, the pool card and see who won the kitty this year! A hundred buckaroos that ought to get you a weekend's worth ofbooze.
Maybe it will be my squares.
Got my sight set on a stroller in the catalog.
Totally decked- Tasseled awning, wing-nut brakes.
Sorry, Shel, the pool's got my name on it this year.
Come on, Dave.
Chop, chop.
Who won it? Square six for the home team, four for the visitors- It's Holling.
Holling? - Vincoeur? - Holling won the pool? - I did? See? Square six, four.
There's your name.
It's all yours.
Congratulations, Hol.
No way.
Thank you.
I guess that's that, then.
I can't believe it.
He doesn't even like the game.
Oh, well, there you are.
Will you please show me where you hid Miss Elam's chart? Marilyn, we need to keep these things in alphabetical order so that I can spend my time practicing medicine instead of playing hide-and-seek with our filing system.
Where is my mother, anyway? I mean, I don't understand.
She comes up here and she practically abandons me.
Usually, I have to keep her at arm's length, and I can't even find her.
The woman is acting very strange.
Maybe at Flat Rock.
Flat rock? What? Look Down Point again? Are you kidding me? She didn't see enough eagles with you? All of a sudden Nadine Fleischman is likeJohn J.
I mean this from a-a woman who thinks pigeons are-are flying rats.
- I get it.
- You get what? - You had a fight with your dad.
- What? You and your dad got in a fight.
- No, we didn't.
- Yes, you did.
Okay, we did.
It wasn't a fight and it certainly wasn't my fault, but the man pushes and he pushes and- Well, I-I let him.
I admit it.
If I'm guilty of anything, it's of passivity.
I'll tell you something, Marilyn, it's over, because there comes a time in every man's life where he has to stand up on his hind legs and claim his ground and plant his flag.
And you know what? I'm glad.
That's right.
You heard it.
I- I'm not sorry, not at all.
And I'm not saying it wasn't difficult, because it was wrenching.
It was painful.
And I'm sure it was for him, but, hopefully, he will learn something from this because believe me, I have.
Dad? Dave filleted some salmon for you.
Where's Mom? Out.
Yeah, out where? I told you, she took a walk.
She's not back yet? Dad, it's getting cold and it's starting to rain out there.
I can see that.
Well, I'm gonna go look for her.
Suit yourself.
Mom? What happened to you? You're all messed up.
What did you do? Oh, I'm fine.
I just fell, is all.
What do you mean, you fell? I fell off the cliff.
- What cliff? - Will you let her talk! - At Flat Rock.
You fell off a cliff? Are you saying you fell a hundred feet? You just slipped and fell? - Oh, boy, you look dazed.
Sit down, please.
Just sit down.
I want to look at you.
I'm fine.
I just- It could be a massive concussion.
I'm fine.
I just- I just walked out to get a better view and I felt my feet slip on the gravel, and then I went over.
But I-I didn't fall.
It was like, uh, I went down on the wind.
The wind? Yeah, it was like I was gliding and then I was on the ground.
I don't know.
It was, uh- It was the most amazing thing.
Ma, I-I don't understand.
Are you trying to tell us that you flew? Nadine? Please, both of you.
I just want to take a nice warm shower.
Did you see the way he cut back? Yeah, nice pass.
What is that, rugby? No, Australian League Football.
Live from Melbourne.
Hey, Vincoeur.
Why don't you hippity hoppity over here and get us gents another round of Yukon? - Hippity hoppity.
- "Hippity hoppity, my son John, went to bed with his stockings on.
" Hippity hoppity, my son Pete, went to bed with stinky feet.
Okay, that's it.
I don't want to hear another dang word about it- Any of it.
And I'll tell you boys something else I don't want to hear any more of.
I don't want to hear any more of this noise.
Vincoeur, what are you doing? We were watching that! Hey, Holling, it's halfway through the second half.
It's my bar.
I'll do what I want.
And I'll tell you something else I don't want.
I don't want any more of this pool money.
There it is, every last red cent of it.
Holling! That's the layaway dough for the stroller! Well, I don't want it! It's sporting money and I won't have anything to do with it anymore.
Take it, Mike.
- Me? No.
- You heard me.
Take it.
It's yours.
I mean, aren't you the man who watches all those grown men chase little balls around all the time? Half your life you're doing that.
What are you waitin'for? Take it! Okay.
Okay, I'll take it, but I'm not comin' back in here again, ever.
Anybody else feels likewise, don't let the door bust you on the backside on your way out.
You people.
You think a man's a man because he wears team colors and guzzles beer in front of the tube? Can't you see, boys? The sands of time are dribbling through the hourglass.
Don't you ever thirst for a little discourse, hunger for a little knowledge? Can't we even try a little Face the Nation for a change? I mean, maybe a little C-Span or Discovery Channel? My God.
There is a whole world of information on that thing.
I mean, all about pygmies and uh, whales, and the Battle of Verdun.
Would it pain you so much if we watched my programs for a bit? Like it or not, that's the way it's gonna be around here.
Uh, Ma, wh-what are you doing up? I- I thought you were gonna lie down.
Hi, honey.
Look, I-I've gotta talk to you.
I- I feel worried about you.
I mean, you've been acting incredibly strange and you're quiet and this nonsense about flying.
I mean, come on, Ma.
Jewish women from Queens don't fly.
I'm serious.
I mean it's- It's a law of physics.
Mass falls at a set rate of speed.
It's 32 feet per second squared, to be exact, but, I mean, when it hits the ground, if it's a human being, believe me, it splatters.
Try this on.
Just do me a favor.
Would you just follow my finger? Joel, enough.
Arm, please.
What is this? This is your Uncle Manny's coat.
If it fits, it's yours.
His coat? Oh, wow.
Manny's camel coat.
Button it up.
You have enough room in the shoulders? Raise your arms.
Feels all right.
Not bad, actually.
Looks very handsome on you.
He used to wear that little fawn-colored hat with this coat.
The Tyrolean, right? With the little- the little feather in the band.
It doesn't look too bad, you know.
It's a good coat.
Manny's coat.
Well, what, honey? It's just- You know, Manny's gone and I've got his coat.
I- I mean, when you think about it, basically, that's it.
You know, all this, " You're right.
You're wrong.
You're wrong.
You're right.
" Boom, I mean, suddenly you're wearing a dead man's coat.
It fits you nicely.
Don't you see though? This was Manny's.
This is Dad's younger brother.
His younger brother.
Joel, shh.
I never did that enough for you, did I? Shh.
Dave said he'll do the dump run first thing.
Too many bears prowling at night this time of year.
That'll do.
H, I gotta tell you something right now.
When you pulled the plug on the boob tube in front of all those dudes tonight- And, Shelly, I don't want to hear any argument about it.
Hey! You won't hear one from me.
That's what I'm trying to tell you.
I'm not saying it wasn't a real knock at the knees, you coming out of the closet like this.
All Pooper's new friends- The whole town thinkin' his old man's kind of dweebish- But I know there's more important stuff than that.
You do? Oh, yeah, Holling.
It took a humongous set of peach pits to do what you did tonight.
I mean, there you were in front of the whole bar admitting flat out that you're a pussy about sports.
And what was so cool about it is, you didn't even care who knew what a dork you are.
Pooper'll hang somehow.
Maybe he'll be good with cars or grow his hair long and get some tattoos and play in a band.
Anyhow, he's got a great dad.
H, you may not be playing with a full set of checkers, but you can king me anytime.
Dad,you about ready? I gotta get you guys to the airstrip by 10:00.
Worry about your mother.
Look, Dad- Joel, please.
Ifinished the ceiling.
I-I saw.
I appreciate it.
I started it.
- New sweater? - Lamb's wool.
Really? It's nice.
- Looks good.
- I like it.
So, uh, Uncle Rudy, he's gonna pick you up at the airport? Nope.
We left the, uh, car in, uh, Lot D- Long term.
You think that's safe? Let's hope so.
Recognize the luggage? - Tourister.
- Your mother bought this set at Killians, what, 20 years ago? I remember when she brought it home.
She wanted good luggage for that trip we took to Florida.
In the Fairlane.
Remember what happened when we stopped at, uh, Cape Kennedy? Your sister got sick in the backseat from all the root beer? Yeah.
She looked like a rabid dog.
She was foaming and frothing at the mouth and I'm sitting there, I can't stop laughing.
You-You were laughing.
Me, I was this far from pulling the car over and catching the next train back to Penn Station.
Well- Let me get that.
Hmm? Sure.
You believe the hand speed of that guy? This Pasquale- he can catch flies in midair with those reflexes.
Hey, I got two words for you guys.
Jackie Pépin.
When he's on, it's a blur.
Jacques Pépin, that frog! He wouldn't know a baby turnip from an artichoke if you bounced it offhis skull.
What are you trying to say there, Owen? The Italians got it over the French when it comes to julienne? - Get a life, Stevens.
- Hey, Dino ain't even done yet.
He's gonna be droppin' the gnocchi all over the place after half-time.
Holling, a couple more cold ones for these guys, huh? Coming up, Chris.
Look at that onion- Made mince meat out of it in 20 seconds flat.
Ah, yes.
Let me ask you something.
You spent a fair amount of time with my mother.
Did she seem all right? A little strange or off, maybe? No.
She came home with this story about how she, uh, she fell off Flat Rock.
By the way, there's no need to repeat this to anyone, but she said that she didn't fall.
That- That she flew.
I mean, I'm gonna give my friend Marty Schwartz a call.
He's a neurologist at Columbia Presbyterian.
I'll get him to give her a skull X-ray.
Yooxayatangi talked and talked to keep the wolf away, but it talked so much it heard only itself- Not the river, not the wind, not even the wolf.
But the raven came and said, "The wolf is hungry.
"If you stop talking, you'll hear him.
The wind too, and when you hear the wind, you'll fly.
" The eagle- The eagle soared, and it's flight said all it needed to say.