Northern Exposure s06e22 Episode Script

Let's Dance

Cal, what the hell are you doin' here? Forgive the intrusion.
I realize it's awfully late to be calling.
If you're looking for a place to hide, I can't help you.
Oh, no.
Quite the contrary.
I've decided to turn myself in.
May I? Okay.
I thought perhaps if it's not too great an imposition, you might assist in arranging for my return to the State Mental Hospital at Ellisberg.
After considerable deliberation, I've concluded that, above all, I want my freedom.
Wait a minute.
You're gonna turn yourself in for three hots and a cot because you want your freedom? I've been undergoing regular therapy with Dr.
Capra, and he agrees that I've purged my antisocial impulses.
If I can convince the authorities of that, they'll have little recourse but to grant my formal release.
I'm afraid the couscous was a little dry.
Haven't quite got the hang of that stove yet.
Oh, I thought it was very tasty, Mrs.
Would you like some more coffee, Mrs.
Whirlwind? Okay.
I'm glad you found the tiramisu to your liking.
I made it myself.
It's kind of a house specialty around here from an old family recipe.
It's a shame to leave just this little bit here.
Why don't you take this, Mrs.
Whirlwind? More coffee, Marilyn? No, thanks.
Hey, Ed, would you mind giving me a hand with some firewood? Oh, yeah, sure, Dr.
Some moon tonight, huh? Oh, yeah.
Is something wrong, Ed? Well, now that you bring it up, Dr.
Capra, uh Yeah? Well, that was a pretty serious breach of etiquette in there.
What? Well, puttin' more food on Mrs.
Whirlwind's plate like that.
But she finished every last bit.
Well, you didn't leave her much choice.
Well, what are you talkin' about, Ed? Nobody forced her to eat seconds.
Well, it's cultural, Dr.
See, if a Tlingit leaves any food on his plate at all, it's considered a terrible insult to the host.
Oh, jeez, I'm sorry.
Oh, you probably just didn't know any better.
Cal, why don't you have a seat in here? I got to talk to the Doc for a minute.
I'm going with him.
See the boy through the formalities.
Good idea.
Let's hope your counseling did the trick.
One of the more dramatic turnarounds of obsessive compulsive monomania in my experience.
You know they're gonna put him through the wringer at Ellisberg, don't you? Psychological testing and whatnot.
That's not really your bailiwick, is it? Maybe not.
But during my intern days, I did demonstrate a certain flair for the discipline.
As a matter of fact, Dr.
Horowitz was crushed when I told him I wasn't going to specialize in psychiatry.
So you do think he can pass muster? I wouldn't have suggested that he surrender if I didn't think so.
I guess there's no way we can talk him out of it now, anyway.
You've heard Cal's side of the saga.
How he became overly obsessed with the Guarneri violin I hired him to evaluate.
And how he felt he had to get it back from me.
His passion for that violin was all-consuming.
There's no getting around the fact that I feeI some responsibility.
If I hadn't preferred charges against him when he blew up my truck, he wouldn't be committed to that lollipop factory.
What he couldn't have told you was how his subsequent escape poisoned the water between Barbara and me.
Call it a conflict between a sense of duty and bald-faced sentimentality.
Where is he? False alarm.
What? He's craftier than I thought he was.
I must advise you, Maurice, obstructing a criminal investigation is a felony offense.
I'm aware of that.
Not to mention the irreparable harm it would do to any possibility of our future association.
With that in mind, I'm giving you the opportunity to amend the record.
Do you want to change your story? That's what happened, Barbara.
Last thing in the world I'd want would be for Barbara to think I sold that boy down the river to get back in her good graces.
I see.
There she is.
Capra, is the prisoner ready for transport? Yes, I am, Officer.
If you would.
Barbara, is that really necessary? Regulations.
It's all right, Mr.
I'd just as soon everything were done exactly according to protocol.
This your kit, Mr.
Ingraham? Yes, it is.
Maurice, would you mind? Certainly.
Appreciate this.
Remember, there's language other than music.
Capra, I don't know what I would've done without your good offices.
I'll be forever in your debt.
Let's go, Ingraham.
What do you say, Chris? You want to dance? Huh? No.
I'll dance with you, Maggie.
Oh, Bert, thanks.
That's okay.
I don't think I've ever seen you hoof it, Chris.
Well, he's always got one excuse or another.
It's a center-of-gravity thing, you know.
I hear the music, but it's a long way from my ears to my feet.
Typical guy.
You just need some lessons.
Oh, hi, Mrs.
Um, listen, I think I owe you an apology.
Last night during dinner, I'm afraid I may have been a little overzealous in my hosting duties.
So, if I was rude in any way, I want you to know how deeply sorry I am.
I didn't hurt your feelings, did I? No.
Well, good, good.
Glad we straightened that out.
Oh, man.
Oh, no.
Did you say something, Hayden? No.
Well, come on, Hayden.
It's obvious there's something on your mind.
What's up? I'm a little surprised, that's all.
A man of your caliber.
What do you mean? That was a terrible breach of etiquette.
What was? That so-called apology to Marilyn's mother.
Whatever you did.
You just made things worse.
Oh, what are you talkin' about? You never corner a Tlingit elder into a direct "yes" or "no" answer.
Did he do that? Well, now, hold on.
Why? How come? It's a matter of respect.
You don't force an answer that you want to hear.
Oh, jeez.
I had no idea.
Well, I suppose we can't expect you to.
Well, yeah.
I mean, after all, I am from the lower 48.
And you haven't had cotillion.
Cotillion? Just about everybody in Cicely takes cotillion.
Wait a minute.
You mean, cotillion as in cotillion? It's been around more than 70 years.
Good manners are a tradition in Cicely.
Living on the frontier, in a cultural mix like this, you don't make it a priority, why, etiquette just goes right out the window.
Next thing you know, people are splitting each other's skulls with hatchets.
You don't believe me, you just go down to Sleetmute on a Saturday night.
Marilyn teaches cotillion these days.
I mean, now that her grandma's retired.
I took it for three years, learned all the basics.
You know, what to do at a potlatch, how to use a marrow fork.
Pretty good foxtrot, too.
Marrow fork? Come on, Maurice, what did you do to get him to turn himself in? Nothing.
Not a thing.
It was all his idea.
Oh, did I tell you? I ran into these Japanese tourists on the Kenai, hell-bent on bagging some musk-ox, right? Bought game tags, And what do you think they wound up nailing? I don't know.
Caribou? Two wolverines.
Figure each one of those puppies cost close to five Gs a kill.
Well, most of the jokers out on the game trail don't have any idea which end of a firearm's operational anyway.
Maybe you and I can bring down some trophy-class bull moose next time you get a few days r 'n r? Roger that.
You know, I've been thinking, if all goes well, I might see about getting the old quartet back together.
Maybe do a little touring, expand the repertoire to some of the later Beethoven.
The Opus 131, the 132.
There's a wink-and-nod motel at milepost 280.
I think we'll stop there for the night.
Oh, I was hoping we were going to press onwards towards Ellisberg tonight? Regs on consecutive hours behind the wheel are pretty strict.
Well, I certainly wouldn't want to violate any rules.
Wink-and-nod motel, huh? Well, it's not the Ritz-Carlton, but I guess it'll do.
I mean, what else do we need besides clean sheets and a decent bed.
Class, I'd like to introduce Mr.
He'll be joining us starting today.
Let's take our waltz positions.
Close hold.
And, gentlemen, remember, right foot forward, left foot to side.
Ladies, left foot back, right foot to side.
Music, please.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
Look at him.
What a dork! I know.
One, two, three.
Oh, sorry.
No, it's okay.
Stop the music.
Miss Spencer, do you have something you'd like to share with the rest of the class? No, ma'am.
Well, let's keep your comments to yourself.
Why don't I just sit this one out, Marilyn? You need the practice.
And it's Miss Whirlwind.
Gentlemen, let's move up one position.
And what do you say? May I have this dance, please? Okay, let's continue.
Music, please.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
Stop the music.
Miss Spencer.
Yes, Miss Whirlwind? I want to see you after class.
Gentlemen, let's rotate once again.
Maurice, you and Cal take this one.
All right.
I've got the adjoining room.
Once he's asleep, why don't you join me for a nightcap? Well, Cal, you got a choice between prime rib on whole wheat or a turkey club.
I've also got some hot minestrone right here in the Thermos.
That looks very good.
Barbara, you're gonna take the cuffs off of him, aren't you? I suppose the man has to eat.
Oh, well, I wouldn't want to flout regulations, officer.
Just so we understand one another, Mr.
Ingraham, no funny business.
Oh, you have my word, officer.
Thank you very much.
Would you mind if I played my violin briefly? Just enough to restore the circulation in my hands? Yeah, sure, Cal.
We could all use a little music.
I'm afraid my violin can't hold a candle up to Mr.
Minnifield's Guarneri, but Still, all and all, the tone's not bad.
Oh, is that tabbouleh? Don't stop.
I mean, I wouldn't mind hearing a little more.
How about you, Maurice? Sure.
Oh, of course.
Only too happy to oblige.
Good evening, Barbara.
What about Ingraham? Oh, he's sleeping like a baby in there.
He's got the weight of the world lifted off his shoulders since he decided to do the honorable thing.
You care for a Rémy? God, I hate extradites.
I think we'll look back on this mission as a new day for us.
Barbara, we've had our ups and downs, but I think we can put all that in our past.
Ingraham certainly has a facility with that instrument.
Oh, he plays a mean fiddle, all right.
You seem really taken by it.
Criminals and sociopaths will fool you.
You'll see flashes of genius where you least expect it.
Well, I think Tony Vivaldi had a little something to do with that.
Here's to two people who discovered that the road to love has many twists and turns, but the final destination is well worth the journey.
Barbara, is something wrong with you? Driving all day, my back's a little sore.
Well You need the patented Minnifield rubdown.
Maurice, I think you ought to go back to your room now.
The code's pretty clear about leaving a prisoner unattended.
Well, Barbara, this nightcap was your idea.
Tell you the truth, Maurice, I don't know what I was thinking.
Well, who's gonna know? I mean, Cal's bending over backwards to be cooperative.
I shouldn't even be drinking on duty.
On duty? Barbara, it's after midnight.
The last thing I need is to be beefed by IA.
Good night.
'Cause here I am thinking I'm Mr.
Gracious, and it turns out I'm just putting my foot right in it.
I'm sure Marilyn's mom won't hold it against you.
We're still considered newcomers, Phil.
Well, I'd hate to be considered a lout.
I mean, even Hayden Keyes has these native rituals and customs down cold.
Well, Maggie's been telling me about the cotillion.
Maybe we should drop by.
Phil? You know, my family, we always prided ourselves on a certain mastery of social graces.
I mean, my mother was a real stickler.
What's so funny? Well, maybe it was how you were raised, Phil, but I'm afraid all those years of wolfing sandwiches in college dorms has stripped it all away.
What are you talking about? Well, no offense, but you could use a few etiquette lessons in mainstream culture, let alone the Tlingit's.
Oh, really? Well, admit it, hon, table manners are just not your strong suit.
What do you mean? Well, you know, like you're doing now, dipping your sausage in the egg yolks.
Come on, honey, I'm in my own home here.
Oh, I see.
You want to be on your best behavior for strangers, but it's perfectly okay to eat like an animal in front of your wife? Okay, so you don't like the way I dip my meat.
Is there anything else? Well, there is that sucking sound you make when you're trying to get a bit of food out of your teeth.
I make a sucking sound? Come on, hon, you've got to be up there at 20,000 hertz.
Stevens? Yeah.
I'm Margaret Spencer.
You know Tori.
What's up? Well, Tori can explain.
I'll just wait, if you don't mind.
What's this all about? Miss Whirlwind is making me give you dance lessons.
She's punishing me, and neither of us can attend cotillion until I teach you how to waltz.
You? Look, it wasn't my idea.
Well, I don't want you to teach me anything.
All right? Fine.
Then you call her up and tell her.
We'll get this straightened out right now.
Hey, Marilyn, it's Chris.
Listen, Tori and her mom just popped by and Oh, yeah.
They explained everything.
Well, 'cause I just I really just don't want to.
But I didn't do anything, Marilyn.
Well, no, I haven't been practicing.
She says we have to.
Got any good ballroom music? I'm going to forego the restraints, Mr.
Oh, I certainly wouldn't want any special treatment, Officer Semanski.
Wrist irons are perfectly in order.
That's a matter of police discretion.
I don't appreciate being second-guessed.
Of course.
I don't mean to be presumptuous.
What's wrong? Look at this.
We're on Steese Highway.
Is that a problem? Yeah.
We ought to be on Elliot Highway.
Let me see that.
Oh, looks like I got Circle Hot Springs mixed up with Manley Hot Springs.
Oh, that's just great.
Well, what are we gonna do now? The only thing we can do, turn back toward Fairbanks.
Well, how far off-course are we? Oh, 100, 150, close to 200 miles.
Oh, that's just lovely.
There's no possible way we can get to Ellisberg today.
Oh, dear.
I was counting on turning myself in.
Oh, we'll be lucky to make it tomorrow.
I take full responsibility.
You have my apology.
Well, no harm done.
What's one more day? Right.
What's one more day? Maybe you can help pass the time with that violin of yours tonight.
Yes, of course, if you like.
Dinner's ready, dear.
There you are, hon.
Let's eat.
I made your favorite, pot roast.
We got a letter from Gwen today.
They're thinking of having another child.
Corn? I told 'em they should take some time off and come visit.
It'd be great to see them again, don't you think? It wouldn't hurt Jack to get away from the firm for a few days.
He's such a workaholic.
Gwen told me they hadn't had a decent vacation, not since Jack had his orthoscopic surgery.
I know what's going on in there.
Say again, mister.
That 200-mile round robin today was no accident.
Do you think I deliberately took a wrong turn? Barbara, I know your sense of direction, it's second only to mine.
We've hunted the tundra together for heaven's sake.
Make your point, Maurice.
My point? My point is, you have feelings for Cal, and you've allowed those feelings to cloud your judgment.
How dare you? No, Sergeant Semanski, how dare you? I enjoy his violin playing.
And I don't begrudge you that.
But when you disobey orders, that's a horse of another color.
I thought that was something that we shared, sense of duty, a commitment to a code of conduct.
Do you have any idea what this will do to your career? This is a black mark that will sully a whole lifetime of dedicated service.
I appreciate the input.
I hope you understand me.
To an extent.
I listened to the perp's music, and I began to think, "What if those headshrinkers at Ellisberg don't see what I see?" An individual capable of being rehabilitated.
That is not your responsibility.
Your responsibility ends when you turn him over to his keepers.
Incarcerate a talent like that, so that those elitists can foist their do-gooder agenda and medication on him? It wouldn't be right, and I'll be damned if I'll have it on my conscience.
I have said what I'm going to say, Barbara.
I'm going to bed now.
Good night.
TORl: One, two, three.
One, two, three.
No, dork.
It's up on two, not on three.
Let's take a break.
Tell me about it.
If you want to learn to dance, why don't you rent a video or something? This is stupid.
Because we can't go to the cotillion unless we do this, remember? We could always tell her we got through the whole lesson.
The Stranger.
This yours? Yeah, they're mine.
Why? I'm really into Camus.
You? "Mother died today," something something "yesterday " Anyway, "Mother died today.
" Anybody can memorize the first line.
Digging the meaning, that's what it's all about.
Like I'm some doofus? No.
It's just a lot of hopelessness to swallow in one sitting.
Well, I wouldn't exactly call it hopelessness.
Alienation, futility, maybe.
But just because his characters find life meaningless doesn't mean they've given up all hope.
You're like this big existentialist, huh? I don't know.
I mean, it's cool.
Not like "cool" cool, but it makes sense.
You read Kierkegaard? I don't like the sound of his name.
You don't know existentialism, then.
Kierkegaard was the big daddy.
All but ignored till after he kicked.
You know what, I ought to lay Fear And Trembling on you.
Hey, don't put yourself out, okay? Oh, yeah.
You don't like the name? You know, some kids think it's nerdy to be into this kind of stuff.
It's bad enough they know I'm giving dance lessons to a dweeb.
You're pretty conceited, you know that? Can we get this over with? TORl: God.
Picking up where we left off last week, what were we saying about family obligations among the Tlingits? I'm a raven, my father's clan is eagle.
So if I have a child, who will she look to for guidance? You and your brothers.
Then who does the father take care of? His nieces and nephews.
Can you tell me about a formal potlatch, Mr.
Vreeland? If there's a death in the family, then the opposite clan takes care of everything while the family mourns.
But, like, a year later, the grieving clan pays back the father's clan with this big party called a potlatch.
Very good, Mr.
That was correct.
It's good to have somebody who's post-acne aboard.
Oh, I'm not really taking the class.
I'm just here to humor Marilyn.
What would be a serious faux pas at a potlatch? Paula? Never tell another clan's story, and don't bring food if you're a guest.
The hosts take care of everything.
What if you're not a Native American? I mean, you don't have a clan.
Oh, Indians don't see it that way.
Everyone has a clan.
Whites, blacks, Asians.
Makes no difference.
Who can tell me about dance partners at a cotillion? Mr.
You dance with the one who brung you.
Can you tell Mr.
Stevens the rule, Harold? You only have to for the first and last dance of the night.
Unless it's a dinner dance, then the first dance is with the lady you're sitting next to.
Is cutting in okay? Yes.
It's also okay for a lady to cast a soft look at another dance partner, if she'd like to switch, but no making faces.
Is that true for a Tlingit dance, too? Oh, we're not as strict.
Just needs a little steering fluid, and we'll be on our way.
We don't get going soon, we're gonna waste another day.
Oh, I need some caffeine.
Anybody else? Thank you, Maurice.
Black? Check.
Cal? Thank you, Mr.
Perhaps if they have a Yoo-hoo? A Yoo-hoo? I'm glad it's nothing serious.
Hmm? The vehicle.
You know, I really have enjoyed hearing you play, Mr.
May I call you Cal? Oh, please.
It's a nice name.
Short for Calvin? Caldecott, actually.
Caldecott Evelyn.
My chums call me Cottie.
You know, Cottie, the authorities at Ellisberg are a pretty vindictive, self-important bunch.
I'm a little worried about how they're going to deal with your going AWOL on them.
I appreciate your concern, Officer Semanski.
However, I do wish to impress upon you how important it is that I get there and clear my name.
If circumstances prevented me from surrendering, it might irrevocably alter my plans for the future.
You know, Ellisberg isn't my primary area of jurisdiction.
It'd be pretty much impossible for me to see you, say, should follow-up visits be required.
Or court appearances, should the need arise.
Nevertheless, any course but to turn myself in before sundown this evening is utterly unacceptable to me.
As I know it is for you, Officer.
Indeed, Mr.
You don't have to worry.
Hear ye, hear ye! It's cotillion time in Cicely once again.
Grand ballroom, Friday night, It's a time for ritual, a time for protocol, manners.
Been doin' a lot of thinking about manners lately.
About courtesy, the dance.
The gentle behaviors lumped together that we call civility.
Let me read you something.
"Manners are the happy way of doing things.
"Each, once a stroke of genius or love, now repeated and hardened into usage.
"They form at last a rich varnish with which the routine of life is washed, "and its details adorned.
"If they are superficial, "so are the dewdrops which give such depth to the morning meadows.
" Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Dig it.
I'm hereby remanding the prisoner over to the custody of Doctors Graham and Wiley and the staff of Ellisberg Hospital.
Well, we certainly appreciate your help.
Doctor, you realize Mr.
Ingraham is here voluntarily? Moreover, he was a model of obedience and decorum all the way from Cicely.
I'll see that it's noted in the record.
If I could just have a moment? You've been more than understanding, Mr.
I I can't thank you enough.
Nonsense, Cal, it's the least I could do under the circumstances.
Thank you, Officer Semanski.
That's not necessary, Mr.
I shan't forget your kindness and humanity.
Just doing my job.
Good luck.
Well, thank you.
I know that wasn't easy.
We'd better roll.
Barbara, no matter what happens between the two of us, I want you to know that you did the right thing.
You know, Jimmy Alderson up on Coffee Pot Ridge? They got hit with a 20-foot drift.
Snowbound for three straight weeks.
No school, no homework, no nothing.
I couldn't live that far out of town.
I mean, who are you gonna talk to? Your parents? You know, Angus invited me to cotillion.
Creep me out.
What am I gonna tell him? Tell him you don't date losers.
I can't do that.
I'd be grounded for about a century.
If you're still looking for a date, my Dad said I could borrow the snowmobile.
I thought your parents were coming? No, I talked 'em out of it.
What can I do you, Chris? Whiskey.
Straight up.
Hey, you guys.
Let's get going, okay? Aren't you coming? I'll catch up.
My mom wanted me to talk to Shelly.
What do you think you were doing? I just wanted to say hi.
Do you know how close you came to humiliating me in front of all my friends? By saying hello? Look, just forget we know each other, okay? Is that so much to ask? Hey.
Hey, Walt, is it me, or is there anything crueler than a 13-year-old girl? I knew lifers in the joint who weren't as judgmental.
Funny you should say that.
Why is that? I was watching that Otto Preminger version of Joan of Arc.
The one with Jean Seberg? Hmm.
Awful film, but I got to thinking.
Hell, that jeune fille dispatched entire armies during her hormonal shift.
Without the onset of estrogen, there might never have been a Battle of Orleans.
Well, don't forget Lucrezia Borgia.
Horror show.
Bad age.
No doubt about it.
Hello, Barbara.
I've given some thought to the prisoner transport.
I realize now I experienced a transitory infatuation.
But that's all it was.
An aberration.
It didn't mean anything.
Not the way that you and I mean something.
Barbara, I know there were feelings there.
Far be it from me to ask you to deny them.
He could never mean anything to me.
I want a real relationship, Maurice.
Not a schoolgirl crush.
Barbara, I feel honor bound to let you see this.
What is it? It's a letter from Cal.
It arrived this morning.
"Dear Mr.
Minnifield, "you'll be pleased to know that I passed "my psychiatric evaluation with flying colors.
"I've been transferred from Ellisberg to a halfway house in Talkeetna "and I'm told that I'll remain here for at least a few months, "until I can successfully make the transition back into society.
"In the interim, I may be allowed brief furloughs, "during which time I hope to visit you and my other good friends in Cicely.
" Conditions here are pleasant enough Every morning, I make my bed and complete my toilet, and then set about my daily chores.
Early hours are spent mopping the kitchen and dining areas and sweeping the porch.
But in the afternoons, I often repair to the garden, where I especially enjoy pruning the shrubbery.
After supper, we're often given television privileges.
I'm quite fond of a program called The Nanny.
It's very droll.
All in all, I have few complaints.
I hope to see you soon.
"Sincerely yours, C.
"PS: "Please extend my kindest regards to Officer Semanski.
" If this changes your feelings in any way, I I understand.
No, it doesn't.
Is that Chris? Hey, Chris.
Looking pretty natty.
I don't think I've seen you in a suit before.
Yeah, well, kind of alters your ego a little bit.
Excuse me, one minute.
Tori? What do you want? You haven't figured it out yet? You're mad because I didn't want my friends seeing me talking to you.
Look, okay.
There are certain rules.
I'm one of the popular girls, and I mean like really popular.
And when you are popular, you just can't go around talking to people who aren't.
I understand.
You don't want to squander your social capital.
You know what you are? You're a fair-weathered friend.
Guess I expected more out of somebody who's into Camus.
I mean, look at Doctor Rieux, he didn't give up on the people of Oran.
He stuck with 'em all the way through the plague.
Not on his own choice.
I mean, he hadn't got swept along with everybody else.
Well, yeah.
But at least you saw his humanity.
I mean, he wasn't like that priest What was his name? Father Paneloux.
Father Paneloux.
Tryin' to convince everybody that the hand of God was flailing them for their sins.
You know, Chris I really like talking to you about this kind of stuff.
Me, too.
I mean, we can still talk about Camus and stuff if you want.
Not that it's any big deal or anything.
And, Chris, lose the tie tack.
Here goes.
Excuse me, Mrs.
Hello, Doctor Capra.
Lovely evening, isn't it? You don't have to answer that.
Um, I just wanted to tell you how deeply sorry I am about the other night and about how I tried to apologize for it the first time.
I have a lot to learn about native culture.
And I wanted to give you this, if I could.
A kuk, I think it is.
I hope that it's sufficiently modest.
Doesn't create an inappropriate obligation? No, it's good.
Well, look at you.
I'll put this here.
May I have this dance? Well, sure.
I'd be delighted.