Not Dead Yet (2023) s01e12 Episode Script

Not a Fairytale Yet

1
[LIGHT MUSIC]
I loved that guy for five years.
Threw my life away for him.
Moved to another country for him.
Learned how to play pickleball for him.
But now I I just
don't know what I feel.
Well, I know what I feel.
I feel anger with a smattering of rage.
And I feel a dampness
coming from the backseat.
Tilly just spilled
her juice this morning.
Why am I here?
You're here to support your friend.
I thought being a friend meant
going to the movies together,
not going on stakeouts.
See? You're learning.
Now get in there and find out
what Phillip is doing in Pasadena.
How am I gonna find that out?
Pretend that you're a customer.
Ask about pastries,
and just, uh, you know, make small talk.
What if he asks me for my name?
You make one up.
This is a bad plan.
I I don't know how
to do this kind of stuff.
I I'm not sure what
to do with my body.
Well, you take your body,
and you just put it in the line.
Oh, I hate this.
[CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
Don't you find it odd that.
Phillip's just suddenly in Pasadena?
You know, didn't say he was coming.
Nothing about this pop-up
on his social media.
Nah, he can be so unpredictable.
He's the guy that'll show up anywhere.
Except when I lost the baby
and wanted to go to couples therapy.
Yep, there it is, that
smattering of rage,
just bubbling up again.
Okay. Edward's in there.
Wow.
He really doesn't know
what to do with his body.
Can I just I can't see.

Yeah, that's weird.
I've never seen someone run like that
that wasn't an eighth grader
with a roll-y backpack.

[PANTING]
- Well?
- I gotta say
uh, Phillip's a total ten.
Did you ask him what
he's doing in Pasadena?
I did. He said it beats Antarctica.
Oh, my God, that is
not an answer, Edward.
He's very charming with his accent.

Uh-oh, he's looking at us.
- Go!
- Buckle up, buckle up.
Go, go, go! Punch it!
I'll punch it when everyone is safe!
Everybody safe?
[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Again, I am so sorry for your loss,
and thank you so much
for taking the time
to talk to me about Janice.
I have never written about
such a dedicated and tireless worker.
Okay, bye.
So this is what ploppin' down on a couch
in the middle of the day feels like!
[LAUGHING] Oh!
I wish I had done more of this
before I kicked the bucket.
Sounds like being a mail lady
in a little town kept you busy.
- Oh, yeah.
- Did you ever take a day off?
Not once in 43 years.
One time, I delivered mail
in a snowstorm while
passing a kidney stone.
- Ooh.
- Oh, while I'm here,
I wanna do all the
things I never got to do.
- Oh.
- Like, can you get me
in front of one of those TikToks?
Hey, seeing that you're
kind of permanently retired,
can you help me not get junk mail?
Do you feel like Bed
Bath & Beyond coupons
are junk mail?
- Of course not.
- Oh, well, then
- don't mess with the system.
- [NOTIFICATION CHIMES]
Oh, God.

He texted me.
- Get out.
- Who did?
He saw us in the car,
and he wants to talk.
No way.
Who does?
So he froze you out for months
when you needed him the most,
and now he just saunters in
and wants to, like, hit old
town Pasadena or something?
Is this that cable
guy that never showed?
Sharp journalistic mind on this one.
[WHISPERING] It's Phillip.
Audible gasp.
You should go talk to him.
He has a message, and
messages need to be delivered.
And speaking of delivery,
can we get a pizza up in here?
I wanna see what that
stuffed crust looks like.
I think I should see him.
I mean, not just for him,
but for me, right?
It might give me closure.
Okay, but I'm going with you,
for moral support and so I
can glare at him from the car.
Thank you. I'll tell him
we'll stop by after work.
- Great.
- ♪
Oh, good, you're leaving.
Now I don't have to have
that awkward conversation
where I ask you to go.
Thanks for sparing my feelings, Lexi.
- You're so welcome.
- She has got big "do not bend" energy.
Team, we have some very
important business to discuss.
- What is it?
- There was a nine-car pileup on the 5.
- Oh.
- But put a pin in that.
Who's ready to plan a
little girl's birthday?
Hey!
Tilly is so excited for her and
Kendall's princess birthday party.
Kendall is too.
Except she doesn't want
it to be a princess party.
She wants it to be a work party!
- Yay!
- A five-year-old work party?
She woke up this morning and
saw Mama in her business blazer
and said, "I wanna be just like you."
I mean, who am I to tell her no?
We can have it here at the office,
and Kendall requested that
you be the tiny journalists'
- editor of fun.
- Great.
I mean, what else do I have
to do on a Saturday afternoon?
Certainly not wait around
for same-day "Wicked" tickets.
Yeah, I don't know, Lexi.
You know, Tilly is
really, really excited
about having a princess birthday party.
You know, she wants to
wear her princess dress
and decorate the crowns
and drink her tea.
She can still be a princess.
We can decorate half of the
office for the princesses
and half of it for the baby bosses.
Okay. All right.
I guess I can just stay late
and figure out how to
turn half the newsroom
into a princess castle.
Excelente!
Oh, and um, someone should
really look into that nine-car pileup.
If you are busy decorating,
how are you going to
chaperone Nell and Phillip?
- Balls.
- [RINGTONE PLAYING]
- Hello.
- Nell is going to meet Phillip after work,
and she cannot go alone.
- Who is this?
- It's Sam.
Is this your phone voice?
Yes, I guess so.
It's different.
You need to go to support her.
I should go support her
because I'm her best friend,
but it is impossible
to be a best friend,
a style editor, a mother,
and apparently now a party planner.
Having it all is a myth.
- I know, right?
- I'm gonna go with Nell.
Not only because she's my friend,
but because your phone
voice is very convincing.
Thank you?
[SOFT SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[BELL RINGING]

Sorry, we're closed.
Just wanted to see if
I can grab a bombolone.
Nell.
Hi.
Hi.
You look great.
So do you.
So do we do we hug?
Do we shake hands?
Do we just wave?
We hug?
So how's it going?
She's inside.
- I'm looking right at her.
- Ooh, how does she look?
Good.
I'm surprised she didn't
dress up more, though.
Is she happy?
Is she sad?
Hard to tell.
She's smiling.
What kind of smile?
Like, a "I'm so happy I
came to see Phillip" smile?
Or "I want to smack
his pretty face" smile?
- I don't know. She's smiling.
- Edward!
So what brings you to Pasadena?
Beats Antarctica.
That is not as clever of
an answer as you think it is.
A friend asked me to come help him
do a pop-up, and I owed him one.
And I'm actually really glad I did,
because it's given me the chance
to do something I've
wanted to do for a while.
Apologize.
Whoa.
When we went through our hard time,
I shut down,
'cause I was afraid.
I I didn't know how
to handle my emotions,
so I pretended like I didn't have any,
which only made you feel terrible.
And I didn't give you the
support that you needed
or that you deserved,
and Nell, I'm truly sorry.
Wow. Thank you.
I think I really needed to hear that.
You also need to eat this bombolone.
Wait. Hold on.
It looks like he's giving her a pastry.
Fluffy. I'm jealous.
Thank you for that information, Edward.
I'm really glad I came.
Yeah, I think I needed that closure.
And I was hoping
you have something to say to me.
Um, these pastries are really soggy.
That's not true.
I know, they're perfect,
but that's all I have to say to you.
I apologized to you, Nell.
Yes, for good reason. You owed me one.
- And you owe me one.
- For what, Phillip?
For how you left.
That's the reason why you came here.
- [SCOFFS]
- Of course. Oh, I should've known.
You should've just gone
on up to Antarctica.
Or down. Which one has the penguins?
I'm a chef. I don't know
the geography of penguins!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
- Goodbye, Phillip.
- ♪

How'd it go?
Exactly how I should've
known it was gonna go.
Did you know that you
forget to bring me a pastry?

I can come back later.
I can't believe that
he asked for an apology.
I know.
So, um, like, how did
you leave Phillip, anyway?
You know, did you have to
sort through everything?
Like, "Hey, you take the toaster,
and I'll take the vodka."
Kind of.
It was, uh, actually
opening night of his
restaurant in London.
Damn, he must've been so angry
when you told him you weren't gonna go.
Uh, I didn't tell him.
Yeah, he was already there,
and I was supposed to meet him,
but instead, I just left.
To, like, a hotel?
- To Pasadena.
- Damn.
What did he say when you called him?
- I never called him.
- Text him?
- No.
- WhatsApp?
I never spoke to him until today.
Oh.
What? Is that bad?
I mean, it's a pretty drastic way
to end a five-year relationship
right before the wedding.
- It is.
- Yeah.
[SOFT MUSIC]
It's a good thing I
never saw reality TV,
or I would've been one
of those postal carriers
that just dumps the mail
in the river every day
so I could stay home and watch.
[TV TURNS OFF]
I can't believe you went back
- and bought pastries.
- I had to.
The smell was in my sweater,
and it was haunting me.
The man ruined my life, Edward.
You have to be able to separate
the man from the bombolone, Nell.
Well, then go and eat them in your room,
or I'm gonna walk all over
our rugs in my street shoes.
- You don't have to be venomous.
- Thank you.
Mmm.
So?
Should I just sit here and say nothing
when I think you need to hear something?
I just don't think that delivering
mail applies to my situation.
Oh, I'm gonna return
that comment to sender.
I'm sorry.
What do I need to hear?
Let me tell you a little story.
When I was in high school,
I stole a boy who went
to a dance with my sister.
Whoa, Janice!
That's why you love reality TV.
You are nasty.
Well, we fell in love.
We got married. We had a family.
We were together for 42 years.
But my sister never forgave me.
Never talked to me again.
But every year on her birthday,
I'd write her and tell
her that I loved her
and that I missed her.
Did you have to pay for postage?
You know what? Never mind. Go on. Yeah.
I never got a reply until this year.
My sister finally reached out.
Did you deliver her letter to yourself?
Look, dumbbell, I said
what needed to be said
to the people in my life.
If you still have a message for Phillip,
you have to send it.
Not just for him, but for you.
So to get my closure,
I need to tell Phillip
I'm sorry for how I left.
Yes. You also need to press play,
because I have to
watch all of Hulu today.
[LIGHT MUSIC]
Here we go.
Hi.
Hi, Kendall. You ready to go to work?
I'm just looking for an
excuse to fire someone.
- Oh, wow.
- She's joking.
In our family, we don't
let the children fire anyone
until they're at least seven.
- Can I put someone on notice?
- Of course, sweetie.
- It is your birthday.
- [ELEVATOR DINGS]
- Hi.
- Hi!
Welcome to the rat race, ladies.
Loving the business casual.
Yes, but there are
lots of princess dresses
and princess crowns
for anybody that wants to
be a little princess today.
There's also tiny
briefcases, coffee cups,
and a real-life editor, Dennis.
Okay, journalists,
who wants to join me
in the conference room
for the tiny editors meeting?
ALL: Yeah!
Great, we can go over the tiny numbers
for this year's tiny fiscal year budget.
Well, doesn't that sound like fun?
ALL: Yeah!

[SIGHS]
Don't worry, Tilly, okay?
I'm sure some of the girls
are gonna want to do princess stuff.
Plus, I've been to Dennis's meetings.
He can't hold a room.
Okay, first order of business.
My husband, Ben, and I
are having a child soon,
and I don't really know how
to communicate with your kind.
So if I need to speak slower
or if you need me to
make my voice higher,
then I can. Just just let me know.
I guess I'll just tell
you what an editor does.
Uh, so an editor, we manage deadlines.
We check sources.
We worry about layoffs.
I know it's boring.
It's not the most interesting
way to spend a Saturday.
Usually, this editor is at brunch
getting turnt off some mimosas
and slurring his egg order.
[LAUGHTER]
- This girl gets it.
- I like your jacket.
Thank you. It's The RealReal.
Shh. Don't tell anybody.
[LAUGHTER]
What do you think of my new frames?
They make your eyes pop.
Okay, we have some taste in the room.
We make a good hang.
We do make a good hang.
All right, who's got the hot goss?
My mommy went to the hospital,
and now her nose is small.
Viola, this isn't tea.
This is double espresso.
[LAUGHTER]
Here we go.
One last message.
I helped deliver them all.
Wedding invitations, sympathy cards,
- love letters, paychecks.
- Mm.
All the highs and lows
that make a full life.
Also, a lot of sex toys.
Oh.
Supposed to be plain packaging,
but you know what's in there. [CHUCKLES]
Okay, this is good.
I'm gonna get this off my chest.
[SOFT MUSIC]
Okay.

Wait, what?

Oh, no. It's gone.

You were right, Janice.
It doesn't feel good to
leave something unsaid.
I guess we'll never have
the happy ending you
had with your sister.
"Happy ending"?
I didn't say that.
Uh, yeah.
You said that your sister reached out.
Oh, yeah, she reached out,
and she was still mad as hell.
Even after all those years,
she still didn't forgive me.
You've never seen such
an angry Easter card.
She drew a middle finger on the bunny.
Then what was the point of that story?
That I knew I did everything I could.
- Mm.
- Someday, some way,
tell Phillip how you feel.
It may not be the
perfect moment of closure
you're hoping for,
but maybe it's just
the way this story ends.
[SOFT MUSIC]
- Hey. Oh, hey.
- I'm so sorry I'm late.
- How's your little princess?
- Well, it's not her ideal party,
but she is making the best of it.
Wh what what?
Yeah, it turns out, the princess
part of the party is a bust.
Little girls want to
work and have careers.
They don't want to wear
pretty dresses and eat cupcakes
and hang around a castle all day.
I swear, I took women's
studies in college.
No, no goddaughter of mine
is gonna be denied the perfect birthday.
I'll fix this.
Okay.
- Hey, hey.
- Mm mm?
I need to fill you in on
the latest office gossip.
So turns out,
all the girls would
love to be princesses,
but they do whatever Kendall wants,
because she has a real pony,
and she brings a box
of Gushers to school
every morning, and she
shares with everyone.
How is my daughter supposed
to compete with a rich kid?
I mean, all Tilly has is
yard racoons and carrots.
Yeah, but that's not all.
The way that Kendall
got everyone to agree
to not be princesses
is she told them that
Tilly puts poop on her face.
- She does what?
- Yeah.
My daughter does not do that.
Uh, but don't tell the
girls you heard it from me.
- Lexi.
- Kendall is demanding more sugar for her coffee.
She's all hopped up and,
frankly, kind of angry.
We need to talk right now.
Is it time for the goody bags?
I put a cute little
paycheck in every one.
It wasn't fair for you to
change this party last-minute.
Do you know the girls aren't
actually even having fun?
They're afraid of Kendall,
and she bribes them with candy.
And she's mean to Tilly.
What? Sam, I'm sorry.
Look, I don't want to judge you
for how you're raising your daughter,
but it's not okay to just give her
every single thing she wants.
It's not good for her.
What are what's happening?
I'm crying.
Oh, my God, I've never
seen you do that before.
[SIGHS]
You're right.
I spoil her.
I give her everything she wants
so she'll be a happy little girl,
because I wasn't.
So buy Kendall Gushers
and ponies and ski chalets.
And then yesterday, when she told me
she wanted to be just like
me, it made me feel like
maybe I am doing
something right, you know?
- But
- Oh, Lexi.
But if she's being mean to Tilly
and buying her friends,
then I guess I have failed.
You didn't fail.
You know, you're just a mom.
Sometimes we get it right,
and sometimes we throw our kids
weird office/princess birthday parties
that will definitely confuse them
when they enter the workforce.
[CHUCKLES]
Thank you.
I will talk to Kendall.
Now, let's see about putting some crowns
on these caffeinated five-year-olds
before they start asking
about their benefits package.
[SOFT MUSIC]

[GASPS] Oh, hello.
[GASPS]
I'm a princess, and I'm looking
for more princesses
so that we can do all the
princess things together.
[LAUGHING] Hi.
Hey.
You look so pretty!
Did you come with the prince?
We don't need a prince.
Nell.

Hey.
Um
I thought you left town.
Yeah, I was going to,
but then I realized if I did,
I'd just be acting like the old me,
shutting off, ignoring my feelings,
so I came back.
I'm really glad that you did,
because I wanted to get the chance
to say I'm sorry too.
- It's it's okay. You don't have to
- No.
I know the way that I
left was really hurtful,
and honestly,
I meant it to be.
I thought it was gonna make
me feel better, but it didn't.
I owed you this apology,
and I'm glad I got to deliver it.
Yes!
Still helping to deliver
messages in the afterlife.
Are you a real prince?
Um, well, I may not be a very good one.
You see, once upon a time,
my princess was held prisoner,
and I couldn't rescue her.
Well, he was only human.

And he didn't have magic, after all,
and eventually,
the princess learned
how to rescue herself.
But the story doesn't end there.
You see, as time passed,
the prince tried to
get over the princess.
He joined a gym, he went to Marrakech,
and with the help of
his royal advisor
his therapist
he realized he had to take
an honest look at himself.

Oh.
The prince is doing the work.
Yes, he is.
Every Tuesday at 4:00.
Oh.
But the prince's heart still ached,
because he felt he had failed her,
and so he set off across the ocean
to see her again.
But he didn't know her feelings for him,
so he disguised himself
as a simple baker
coming to her village to sell his cakes.

But you came to help your friend.
Nell, I can sell bomboloni in England.
I came for you.
ALL: Ooh.
- Mm, I forgot how hot he is.
- He sucks.
Yes, of course. I mean,
I forgot how sucks he is.
Maybe if I stay a while,
we could keep talking.

Yeah, I I'd like that.

I wanna be a princess!
Come on, girls.
There's more dresses in the castle.
- Oh, go!
- Oh, goodness.
- Go, go!
- I'm being kidnapped.
ALL: Go, go, go!
Help me.
Hi, baby.
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
- Oh.
- What'd she say?
She said, "This is the best party ever,
- and we're out of toner."
- Right.
So I can put that order in.
[SIGHS] Thank you, Janice.
You're welcome.
And however the story ends,
- that prince is handsome.
- [BOTH CHUCKLING]
Not as handsome as that
tall drink of Yoo-hoo
you call your roommate, but still.
- Ahh!
- [CHILDREN SHOUTING]
I'm telling you, if they made
princess dresses with pockets
[SCOFFS] I'd wear one to work every day.
Me too, just as long as those pockets
are big enough for one of these.
- Mm.
- Okay.
I will say, this party
has been a success.
- Mm.
- Except for the Phillip stuff.
We're just talking.
Don't worry.
He's not gonna steal me away again.
Oh, I know. I had
Edward seize your passport.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY]
- Well, I learned a lot today.
- Mm.
I know now that I don't
want my daughter to be weird,
so I've informed her
I will be putting her
ski chalet on the market.
You two are really good
and very different moms.
- [CHUCKLES]
- [SIGHS]
I think Dennis is
gonna be a good dad too.
[CHILDREN SHOUTING]
Ahh!
Five bucks he throws up again.
- Oh, for sure.
- Oh, absolutely.
Oh.
- [RETCHING]
- [CHILDREN SHRIEKING]
- I'm okay.
- Bingo.
Wow. So quick.
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
[PINS CLATTERING]
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
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