Now Apocalypse (2019) s01e09 Episode Script

Disappear Here

1 Previously on Now Apocalypse Oh.
Boner alert.
- I'm Leif.
- Carly.
Wait, wait, wait.
I have a boyfriend.
Then why are we here? FORD: I understand work is a priority for you.
I need to make sure that our relationship is a priority too.
Of course it is.
I really must go.
Lars and Klaus are waiting.
Isn't there anything you've ever done sexually - that you wanted to keep a secret? - Ahh! No.
I'm an open book.
[grunts] - Thanks.
- ULYSSES: And you can keep it here.
- Really? - Yeah.
- [surreal music] - CARLY: Oh, yes Oh, yes.
[moaning] Oh.
Yes [moans] Ahh.
Oh, yes.
Let me look at you.
[soft music] Oh, yes.
Unh, yes.
Oh, Carly.
Look at me.
Oh, my God.
[moans] Oh, my God.
[moaning] [gasping] ULYSSES: "Obvidently," your subconscious wants you to ditch Jethro and get with hot disabled guy already.
I have always felt like my subconscious trolls me.
Like if it was up to my subconscious, I would be a full-time cheater with a gangbang addiction, who occasionally slept with my brother.
[sets glasses on table] Oh, God.
I haven't seen you in, like, forever! How long has it been? Like, two months? It's been three days.
You are totally one of those people who gets a boyfriend and disappears, right? - No - Hm.
OK Sorta.
But I have been staying at Isaac's a lot lately.
Well where is the new husband tonight? Kung fu class.
I'm sorry, uh what? Yeah.
Well, it's actually kinda hot.
That he can protect me if shit hits the fan.
This whole no weed smoking thing seems to be working out for ya.
Yeah! Yeah.
You know, Day 8 no freaky dreams, no cryptic texts from Gabriel.
Holy shit! So much has happened since I last saw you.
Did I tell you about my meeting day after tomorrow with a prestige premium cable network? - About 12 times, yeah.
- Mm.
So, how many YouTube views is Slutsup to now? Six hundred thousand! Which is apparently viral enough these days to ping Hollywood's radar.
So random.
All because that overstuffed dim sum Kai got cast in fucking Star Wars.
- Um.
- Huh! It's nice that we're close enough that you feel comfortable saying openly racist shit around me.
[laughs] [chuckling continues] [sighs] You're beautiful when you're concentrating.
I uhh.
I've been working on these notes Barnabas gave me.
He wants me to make my script sexier after all the attention my underwear ads got.
That's nice.
[sighs] It's not.
It's really hard.
Ooh! Here, let me read you what I've done so far.
Umm I'm sorry, Ford, but I really need to finish this report.
[pouting] I know.
I know.
[cell phone vibrates] Oh.
What? I just got a message from work.
[annoyed] What else is new? I have to fly to Roswell, New Mexico.
What? When? The day after tomorrow.
For how long? It says indefinitely.
[dramatic music] CARLY: I just really hope this web series thing turns into a paying gig, cause I'm kinda over the cam girl thing.
I mean, it was all so novel and exciting at first.
But, like, how many times can you make fun of a Hasidic guy's micropenis until you start to get bored? No idea.
It's-It's three times, actually.
[cell phone rings] Mm.
It's Jethro.
Should I get it? LOL.
I should.
We've been on sort of weird ground since the Sex dungeon incident.
[chuckles] I love that that's a thing.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Uh, so what's going on? JETHRO: Not much.
You know, it's been a couple days and I miss you.
[surprised] Hmm.
I miss you too.
- [Ulysses imitates a barf] - JETHRO: Is Uly there? Say hi for me.
- Jethro says, "Hi.
" - Why? He says hi back.
So, uh What are you doing tomorrow night? You wanna catch a movie or something? I I probably shouldn't tomorrow.
I I have my big meeting at Starz the next day.
I-I want to get to bed early the night before so I don't you know, ugh, fuck it up.
Hello? Hmh? Yeah.
I'm here.
CARLY: OK Well, what about What about tonight? Do you wanna stop by my place after work? I've got to get up early tomorrow to hit the gym.
Plus, I got that audition Thursday that I need to work on.
But, hey! Good luck with your meeting.
That's major.
[slowly] I will talk to you later.
FORD: What does "indefinitely" mean? [sighs] It-It means an unlimited or unspecified amount of time.
Not what does the word mean, but What does that mean for us? The future is unknowable, Ford.
All we can ever be certain of is the here and now.
That's not really very reassuring.
Shall we have intercourse? Will that make you feel better? Maybe.
[Ford breathes heavily] FORD: Uhh.
[Ford quietly sobs] [birds chirping] [cell phone dings] [unlocks phone] Wait.
Lars and Klaus are going, too? Of course.
They are as deeply immersed in the project as I am.
Well [sighs] Are we gonna, like see other people and stuff while you're away? To be honest, Ford, I haven't really thought about it.
What do you mean you haven't really thought about it? Given the short notice of this trip, I have more pressing issues on my mind right now.
Do you want to see other people? Considering the circumstances, it would probably make sense, wouldn't it? We are, after all, two grown adults with sexual needs.
[sniffles] Please, Ford.
You know I don't handle outbursts of emotions very well.
I just I can't [inhales] I can't believe you wanna just throw me away like I'm a-a- like I'm a pile of garbage.
I never said that.
But perhaps it might not be a bad idea for us to spend some time apart? Haven't you ever heard the adage "absence makes the heart grow fonder"? Yes! Of somebody else! Ford I'm not a dildo, Sev.
I have fucking feelings! [slams the door] [sighs] - Did I wake you up? - ULYSSES: Uh Would it be a turnoff if I said yes? Nothing about you is a turnoff.
So where are you off to now? Uhh.
I'm on my way to Irvine.
I have some clients there displaying the same schizophrenic markers I was telling you about.
Oh, really? Yeah.
They all have this bizarre delusion that they are being sexually assaulted by Aliens.
It's very strange.
Hello? Yeah, uh Sorry.
Something the matter? No Um, just Back when I used to smoke, uh, a lot more pot, [chuckles uncomfortably] uh, I used to get these hallucinations.
Hallucinations? It was a-a really dark time in my life.
And I was self-medicating way too much.
But, um I'm over it.
You are? Totally.
So am I Am I seeing you later? If if you want.
I I want.
[chuckles] ISAAC: We're not, um spending too much time together, are we? No.
Uh, unless you think that we are? I don't.
At all.
I just I don't want you to feel, like, boxed in.
It was sort of an issue that I had with the last guy that I was seeing.
And if you still wanna - see other people - ULYSSES: I I don't want to see other people.
Do you? No.
Really? Cool.
So Are we, like, boyfriends now? Or ULYSSES: I'm in fucking love.
[sighs] Oh, no.
ULYSSES: Isaac and I had the boyfriend talk this morning.
You've been going out for what, like 48 hours? Yeah.
I know it's lesbian speed.
But, like, he and I talked about it and we don't care.
It, it just feels right.
Look, I'm happy for you.
Just be careful, OK? Life is about taking risks when it counts, right? OK, Oprah.
Are you randomly outside? Yes.
Why? I'm trying to lose three pounds, à la Regina George.
I keep dressing up like Sporty Spice and coming to the park, hoping that the combo's gonna compel me to start jogging.
Has not happened yet, but l'm optimistic.
Wow, a fitness journey plot twist.
- Oh, shit.
- What? It's Leif.
Here, in the park.
What? It's a sign from the slut Gods.
I'm gonna call you back.
[soft chuckle] Well, look who it is.
[Carly chuckles] Hey.
What are you what are you doing here? My studio's not too far, so I come here a lot just to clear my mind.
Me too.
I just I love all this, uh all the air and the, uh, et cetera.
- I haven't seen you around.
- Oh, really.
I'm-I'm here, like, all the time.
Well, how's your workout going? It's great.
Yours? Well, I'm basically done.
Me too.
Ha ha.
I was gonna head back to the studio, but, I'm thinking about stopping off for froyo on the way.
Shut up.
Frozen yogurt's my favorite food group.
Well, then it won't be too hard to convince you to come with.
LEIF: You know, sometimes it's better to show some restraint and go with vanilla.
Are you yogurt shaming me? [both chuckle softly] I'm just wondering are you still with your boyfriend? Um Yeah So, this is just a platonic froyo then? [laughs] I guess.
Why? Just checking.
I'm not so interested in being the other woman.
When have you been the other woman? With you.
In Palm Springs.
I just didn't realize it at the time.
What? No.
That That wasn't cheating.
That was just kissing.
Kissing counts as cheating.
I mean, not really.
If you can legally do it with your cousin it's not really cheating.
[chuckles] Oh, man.
[Ford sighs, typing on the computer] [sighs] Hi.
I don't mean to bother you.
No problem.
It's just I-I recognize you from your ads and Uh.
No way.
Really? An and I just wanted to say, I think you are beautiful.
[flattered] Aw.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
- Anyway - Um, wait.
Have a seat.
Are you sure? Yeah.
Why not? I'm Ford.
For real? That is so cool.
CARLY: Well, then.
How do you define cheating? I think anything sexual or romantic with another person is cheating.
So, like What about, like, sexting? That counts.
Sexting is cheating! Oh, my God.
Uh, OK.
What about, uh, watching porn? No, that That doesn't count.
I'm sorry.
The these these rules feel arbitrary.
It's about sexual exchange.
So, if you're you're watching a video, that's fine.
But if the video's interactive If you're Skyping with some cam girl - [Carly coughs] - That's cheating.
- [Carly coughs] Hm.
- Are you OK? [coughs] Yeah.
I'm fine.
I'm sorry.
Are you sure? Yeah.
This conversation is just, uh, making me a little anxious.
Can I help? Do you mind? No.
It's a little trick I picked up.
Is this where you feel it? Yeah [breathes in] [throws it out] Phew! I just threw your anxiety in the trash.
[stammers] You know I actually think I feel a little bit better now.
It works.
- [Carly laughs] - FORD: That is so weird.
I'm a writer too.
Well, not poetry like you, but I actually write screenplays.
That's so awesome.
I love cinema.
You do? Me too! What are your scripts about? Well, th They are hmm.
They are about, like, struggles of the human spirit.
You know, and to, like, overcome, uh, obstacles and stuff, to, like, uh take triumph.
- Yeah! And by, become better people.
- [Cleopatra laughs] That sounds amazing.
I'd I'd love to read one sometime.
Give me your email and I'll send you one.
So, how about you? Uh, what are your poems about? Death.
[puts the pen down] Here you go.
My phone number's on there, too.
You know in case.
- Um - What? I have a have a girlfriend.
- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to - Oh, my God.
Don't worry about it.
I get it.
[laughs nervously] I I guess I should get going.
Uh It was really nice chatting with you.
Send me your script, anyway.
I'd I'd still love to read it.
I will.
So I guess I'll see you around.
[softly] Bye.
[Café door closes] LEIF: Well.
I guess this is goodbye again.
[laughs] Yeah.
I guess so.
[laughs] Um.
Thanks for the ride.
[unbuckles the seat belt] Well, you know how to find me if you ever, uh you know.
[laughs] Um I'll see you around? [background music ends] - [birds chirping] - [knock on door] Hey.
- Hi.
- Mm - I missed you so much.
- I know.
Me too.
- Like an unhealthy amount.
- Same.
I thought you wanted to go to dinner.
- Whatever.
- Are we insane? Certifiably.
[sighs] [cell phone dings] [cell phone rings] [sighs] Hello, Lars.
- What's up? - LARS: Klaus and I just received some last minute briefings to go over with you.
I know it's quite late.
It's all right.
I just got out of the shower so I need a bit of time to get ready.
We can come by your apartment, if that's more convenient for you.
SEVERINE: Really? That would be so much easier for me.
Are you sure it's not a problem? Not at all.
Uh - We can be there in 30 minutes.
[ends call] ULYSSES: Were you seriously thinking about food while we were having sex? No.
More like immediately after I came.
So when I was coming, then.
Ahh You're an ass.
So my friend Carly thinks that we're crazy.
She's the one who's always warning me about rushing into things.
My Carly is named Rachel.
And Brandon.
And they both think we're moving too fast, too.
- Really? - Uh-huh.
And the thing is, obviously, we are.
But we're both aware of the fact.
And we're OK with it.
At least, I'm OK with it.
Ah! I I am too.
So, we're fine.
We just have to make sure that we continue being 100 percent honest and open with each other about how we're feeling.
That sounds way too easy and sensible to work.
[Isaac chuckles] After my last few relationships, I just got to a point where I was, like, I'm too old and too busy to get all embroiled in drama and hysterics.
How old are you? 26.
But seriously.
Why do things have to get so complicated and confusing? Just be clear about what you want, and go out with someone who wants the same things.
Like, if you want to be in an open relationship, find someone who checks that box.
My roommate is going through that exact thing right now.
Like, his girlfriend's all into non-monogamy, and he's, like, super unhappy and upset about it.
In this day and age, just say what you're looking for.
If it's not a match, move on.
- What? - I don't know if you're just a projection of everything that I've always wanted but didn't know how to articulate but I really hope you're not a mirage or something.
[chuckles] - Well, I hope you're not a mirage.
- [Ulysses chuckles] [opens the drawer] Here.
I don't want to make a big deal out of it.
It's just seems practical.
You've been coming over a lot and if I'm, like late coming back from work or whatever If it's not OK, just say so.
I don't wanna, like, freak you out or anything.
It's, uh It's OK.
If it's too soon it really is all right.
I'm not gonna be offended.
It's just, uh [soft music plays] Thank you.
Uly I know, I know.
[chuckles] so stupid.
I know I'm not supposed to be making, like, a big deal about this.
But, um No one's ever done anything like this for me, before.
So, thank you.
[Ulysses sniffing] [chuckles] LARS: Within a 30-mile radius of Roswell, more than 200 mutilated elk have been discovered, following the pattern we've seen across a variety of large mammal species in the Southwestern U.
Given what we know about the reproductive cycle of these beings, this is disconcerting, to say the least.
Are you all right, Severine? You seem distracted.
I'm fine.
So it appears there is a lot of work awaiting us in New Mexico.
And how is Ford handling the news of your imminent departure? [sighs] Not well, I'm afraid.
We both find it quite difficult to maintain an intimate relationship due to the demands of our work.
My ex-girlfriend could never grasp the importance of what we do.
So I finally had to end things.
Well, Ford and I do have issues.
And, needless to say, this impending separation has only exacerbated our problems.
That must be troubling and stressful.
You seem to be carrying a lot of tension in your neck and shoulders.
I am.
That feels amazing.
When we were stationed in Copenhagen, we both studied shiatsu.
[Autolux' "Soft Scene"] [typing] Kick it off Blow our brains up You'll be - So free - But not enough.
- [message alert] - [typing] [message alert] [message alert] [screen beeps] Carly?! - [laptop slams shut] - Oh my God! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
FORD: It is weird, you know.
When I fuck someone else, it just makes me realize how much I love you.
Being open tends to actually deepen one's connection with their primary partner.
I gotta say, Sev, for the first time, I feel like I'm really starting to get the hang of this.
I'm glad.
Because, trust me, baby.
This is just the beginning.
[sobs] [sighs] [sighs] [sighs] [cell phone vibrates] [ringing] Do I love you? Yes, I love you But easy come, easy go Don't let me down