Nowhere Boys (2013) s03e05 Episode Script

Bates To The Rescue

1 BEN: The spell for dimensional return.
LUKE: We each have to offer up something of our heart's desire.
[WHOOSHING.]
It didn't work.
Who here didn't put in their heart's desire? - She doesn't exist in this world.
- She? Brooklyn.
LUKE: Isn't it possible that she's here too? The book! Find something to help us.
ALL: "Divinity of the elements", [All.]
Aid in my quest I call you forth!" It's gone.
What's that? Anybody want a ride? [THEME MUSIC.]
[POP SONG BLARES NEARBY.]
- What? - It's your party.
Yeah, and I'm playing with the birthday present YOU gave me.
[SIGHS.]
Come on, it's your chance to have a bit of fun.
I don't know these people.
You invited them.
And by the way, that's incredibly embarrassing.
You haven't tried to know them.
We're moving in a couple of months anyway.
It doesn't matter.
Hey.
I know we move a lot and I'm sorry about that.
But you have to let people in.
If you don't, you're the one who's missing out.
I'm about to reach my top score.
I'm not missing out on anything.
Nothing following us.
We're good.
NICCO: Yeah, but for how long? HEATH: Mr Bates, reckon you could drive a little faster? BATES: There's a reason we have speed limits, Heath.
- You drive like my grandma.
- What happened back there? - [KIDS SPEAK OVER EACH OTHER.]
- One at a time.
Some crazy stuff has been happening, Mr Bates.
Magical stuff.
We were attacked by some weird dark thing.
- Yeah, it was like a storm or - It was raining black stuff.
It wrecked my dad's van.
How is that even possible? BATES: Hang on, hang on.
It wrecked your dad's van? - Maybe it was a severe hailstorm.
- No, Mr Bates.
- There's been really strange weather.
- LUKE: You need to listen.
- Never seen anything like it.
- JESSE: That was no hailstorm.
I think there's been some kind of environmental catastrophe.
Mum? You're the first people I've seen and I've been driving for ages.
It's a real relief, let me tell you.
Er, Mr Bates, where exactly are we going? Well, we're going back to Bremin, Peta.
LUKE: Mum! - Stop the bus! - What are you doing? - I said stop! - BATES: Luke, steady on.
I saw my mother! Luke! [BRAKES SQUEAL.]
- Open the doors.
- PETA: What's he doing? - NICCO: Luke, wait! - It's my mum.
I saw her before by the side of the road.
At first I wasn't sure, but then we drove past her again.
Hold on.
That doesn't make any sense.
She'd have to be moving faster than the bus.
Were you thinking of your mother when you saw her? Yeah.
Well, that's interesting.
That's very interesting.
I think the sooner we get back on the bus, the sooner everything goes back to normal.
- No, I'm going to find my mum.
- OK, OK.
Let's say it was your mother.
Do you think she'd hang in the bush or head into town to look for you? Luke, I was looking out the window too and I'm sorry, but I didn't see her.
Look, there's been a lot of freaky stuff happening lately.
We're safer if we just stick with Bates, yeah? Come on, Luke.
[STARTER MOTOR WHIRRS REPEATEDLY.]
Sounds like it's out of fuel.
No, no, it says we still have half a tank.
Oh.
Broken gauge.
Right, anyone feel like pushing? [CHUCKLES.]
This is the worst.
Worse than your hairdresser forgetting to dye all your hair? - It's a style! - How are we getting home? It's not that far.
We can just walk.
Yes, good idea.
Let's go.
Everybody out.
No stragglers.
We don't want to lose anyone out here! We have to do the spell now.
It's the only way to get home.
No way.
No more magic.
Let's just go back to town.
I don't want to be on the road if that thing comes back.
Yeah, THAT was terrifying.
Heath, you know what we've got to do, right? Hey, Brooklyn, you have something in your hair.
Oww! That hurt! Be prepared.
Scout motto.
- What did you do that for? - Do what? - You pulled my hair out.
- Did I? What is wrong with you? It's for the spell to go home.
We need his heart's desire, that's all.
You're his heart's desire? Not if you were the last guy left on this planet.
Look around.
I practically am.
YOU stay away from me.
Oi, keep up, you lot! We haven't got all day! Look, Heath, I'm sorry, OK? I didn't mean to.
Shut up.
You did.
- Yeah, but come on.
All - I'm Luke, I mean it! [THUNDERCLAP.]
So, Brooklyn knows that Heath likes her.
So what? You really don't get it, do you? You broke the number-one rule of dude friendship.
- Kind of hard to come back from.
- BEN: Even I knew that.
- I didn't mean to.
- BROOKLYN: Hey! One thing.
If I really am your heart's desire, then why did you dump me? - You're not.
- What? Luke made it up to see if you'd fall for it.
Well, then Luke is an idiot because I didn't fall for it.
You so did.
- [THUNDERCLAP.]
- NICCO: Mr Bates? What exactly is happening here? I don't know what to think.
One minute I was at school, kids all around, and next minute, it's empty.
And I can't remember a thing.
Could be the effects of a chemical spill, but then why weren't we evacuated? Honestly, I can't make sense of any of it.
It's just been me alone.
Well, there has to be people somewhere.
Well, there's no-one in Rochford, Talinda, Giralang, Hughes Valley.
I even went to the city.
The city? There was no-one? Oh, don't worry, Niccolina.
Trust me, I will work all this out.
BEN: Magic is what brought us here.
- It's the only way back.
- What are you talking about? We think we're in an alternate reality.
Everything that has happened is because of magic.
Magic? What? Magic is real.
Tell him.
We did do a spell called 'Eye of Thunder' and it just [MIMICS EXPLOSION.]
Let me get this straight.
You believe you did a spell and you got the outcome you wanted.
I wouldn't say we wanted the [MIMICS EXPLOSION.]
part.
- Something did happen, Mr Bates.
- Yes.
Magic can fix this.
You say magic, but what I think you're really talking about is science.
Einstein said that everything is energy.
Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality.
- Sorry? - I know it sounds crazy, right? Some of the most prevailing scientific theories were considered preposterous when first conceived.
Keeping that in mind, I think we are all a form of energy.
So maybe we can match the frequency of this reality to our reality - NICCO: Yes! - And bingo.
You've lost it, man.
Heath, stay with me, man.
[CHUCKLES.]
Luke, you were thinking about your mother and then you saw her, right? Yeah.
So maybe you imposed her on this reality.
Wait, so what you're saying is that if we act normal, then we can make the world go back to normal? Exactly.
And this is where we would normally be today.
This is like a nightmare I had once where everywhere I went I ended up back at school.
BATES: By my calculations, we have science class now.
This place is a mess.
Oh, was there any sign of your mum in her office? No.
Right.
Well, we need to start the class.
- What about the spell? - We have to give Mr Bates' way a go.
HEATH: Tell me you're not buying into this.
A few days ago, everything was normal and magic wasn't real.
So who's to say that this won't work? The power of positive thinking.
Love it.
Let's give it a go.
If it doesn't work, we'll just do the spell later.
Fine.
But if we're acting normal, then I normally sleep through science class.
[SLIDING DOOR.]
What have you done to this room? I should check home.
Mum might be there.
No, I don't think so.
Inside, cleaning up, all of you.
- Why? I won't be long.
- Right now.
[CHALK NOISE.]
OK, take your seats.
Ah, good.
So we're just going to act like this is a regular biology lesson.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
Heath, please.
Focus your energy on this being a normal school day.
This is the only way to test if my theory works, OK? Great.
So let's start with a little warm-up exercise.
Open your notebooks and place these in order from largest to smallest.
Er, this is revision, Niccolina.
You know this already.
Sorry, Mr Bates, but we don't have our notebooks.
Right.
[CHUCKLES.]
Of course.
Er, Ben, go to the stationery cupboard and get books for everyone.
- I'll go.
- No, you take your seat, Luke.
While we're waiting, why don't we do this a little differently? Yes, this will be fun.
Heath, tissue.
What? Luke, organ.
Yeah, I know which one.
Brooklyn, atom.
Nicco, cell.
Peta, molecule.
Jesse, organism.
And Ben will be ecosystem.
Now stand up and arrange yourselves in order from largest to smallest.
[BROOKLYN MUTTERS.]
This is so lame.
Well, I'm cell, so I'm definitely bigger than an atom.
Organism's the biggest, right? - Out of my way, organ.
- Hey! JESSE: Brooklyn, you're the smallest.
Well, if you're tissue, you're actually meant to stand right next to me.
I don't think so.
Whatever.
- I'm out of here.
- [SHOUTS.]
Luke, get back here now! NICCO: Whoa.
Enough.
This isn't gonna work if you don't do it properly.
You have to commit.
You OK, Mr Bates? We need Ben back here.
We need all of you in the room in order to make this work.
So, Jesse, why don't you go see what's taking our ecosystem so long? BEN: We're going to do it, but we need to get away from Mr Bates.
I know.
They will do it soon, I promise.
JESSE: Who are you talking to? No-one.
Myself.
Crazy, right? No, I do it all the time.
Except I sing.
So, do you think Bates' plan will work? - No.
- Yeah, me either.
So how do we get him out of the way long enough for you to get us home? The classification system was proposed by Whittaker in 1969.
It involves placing organisms into categories based on their similarities.
Now, who knows what classification humans are? Your classification's moron.
Yes, thank you, Heath.
The correct answer is mammal.
- Mr Bates! - You're never gonna believe this.
Ah, good.
Hand those around and take a seat.
- Mr Bates, there's someone - Yes, Jesse? I saw someone in your office.
Oh, wonderful.
[CHUCKLES.]
The plan must be working.
Niccolina, take over and I'll be back in a moment.
- Is it my mum? - No, I made it up.
Sorry, I couldn't think of any other way to get him out of the room.
I can't stay here.
I have to go.
- Where? - I have to find my mum.
Um, we should really stick together, Luke.
- We have to do the spell.
- [DOOR RATTLES.]
- He's locked us in.
- Teachers can't do that.
It's illegal! This is definitely not a normal class.
OK, he is acting a bit strange.
Listen, 'Prison Break', we're stuck here.
Maybe not.
Any of you guys have a screwdriver? Oh, yeah.
- What? - Most girls carry lip balm.
Which reminds me, my lips have been super dry.
Luke, you're just going to leave us? Sorry, but I have to.
This has to lead outside.
- I'm coming with you.
- OK, maybe we should all go.
Alright.
[VENT GRATE CLANKS.]
- Right, follow me.
- No way I'm following you.
- You coming? - No way.
- There are probably rats in there.
- HEATH: And cockroaches.
Peta, you're leaving me? Quick! Bates! Quick! Sit down! The secret to getting away with things? - Cover your tracks.
- Deny everything.
Sit down! Well, there's no-one there! What the hell are you all playing at? You're not helping this work.
You're clearly not trying hard enough! Where are Peta and Luke? - JESSE: They went to the bathroom.
- BATES: The doors were locked.
- Hey! - What? Maybe we should go back.
You can go back if you want.
What I really want is for this nightmare to end.
- BATES: How did they get out? - Yeah, I know what you mean.
I keep telling myself it will get better, things will go back to normal, but it's not.
BATES: The doors were locked.
How did they get out? Come on.
Escaping class through a duct it's pretty awesome.
- You with me? - Yeah.
Let's go.
[WIND AND THUNDER.]
Not one of you is gonna tell me where they went? Alright.
Read chapter 7 in your textbooks.
I'll expect a summary of what you've learnt.
And no-one move a muscle until I get back.
What about an organ? Can we move an organ? Stop saying 'organ'.
Why? It's a perfectly normal word.
- Organ.
Organ.
- [DOOR RATTLES.]
- Organ.
- He's locked it again.
Bates has completely lost it.
You can see that, right, Nicco? Sorry, I picked the wrong team.
- We need to do the spell.
- HEATH: So let's do it.
Well, we can't now, not without Luke.
Told you we were supposed to go with him.
- [THUNDERCLAP.]
- [NICCO GASPS.]
I guess that means whatever attacked us is coming back.
- Looks that way.
- Let's get out of here.
The duct? I know a good idea when I see one.
[SHOUTS.]
Luke! Peta! Come back here now! You're ruining everything.
My theory isn't working because of you! I'm going to fail you both! I want you back in class immediately! That's it! You're both suspended! I'm not gonna ask you again! [Smash.]
Hang on.
We can't just leave them here.
Sorry.
I thought they were your friends.
I guess they are.
If my mum's out there, I have to find her.
I'll come back, I promise.
HEATH: Want to go first? Why? I don't think so.
Fine, I'll go first.
Give you the honour.
Hurry up.
He'll be back any second.
What if I'm claustrophobic? - Are you? - Follow me.
I've never been in a really confined space before.
I might be.
- It feels like something I would be.
- HEATH: Oi! Last one in, put the grate back up.
[CLANKING IN DUCT.]
It's pretty small.
- [DOOR SLIDES.]
- [GASPS.]
What do you think you're doing? [WHIMPERS.]
You're ruining this for all of us! BROOKLYN: You're scaring him, Mr Bates.
I can't be here much longer.
Do you understand me? NICCO: I'm worried about Bates.
HEATH: Worry about finding our way out of here instead.
You know, you were right.
It's good you're not behind me.
- Why's that? - Baked beans last night.
Gross.
[THUNDERCLAP.]
[GHOST SOUND.]
[GHOST SOUND.]
Luke! Mum! What's going on here? Your friends need you.
You do the spell and you come home.
Mum! Mum, wait! Mum! Have you seen the clouds out there? What are you doing? Oh, you're back, are you? Well, I said I'd come back.
It's convenient now for you to help out? I know you're being sarcastic, so I'm not going to answer that.
So I'm guessing you didn't find your mum.
Not exactly.
- What does that mean? - I did but I didn't.
I saw her, but then she disappeared.
So you think Bates' theory is working? I think she's some kind of vision.
She told me we need to do the spell, which means we need to get everybody out, we need to be together.
That's what I'm about to do.
I make a school announcement - "Everybody out to the oval" or something.
- Bates wants to follow the rules.
- Yeah.
That's a really good idea.
But I think I can go one better.
I'm going to set off the fire alarm.
- You ready? - Yeah.
It won't work anyway.
There's no power.
Well, it might.
Fire alarms always have a battery backup.
So try again.
Great job, muscles.
Really.
We need another idea.
Maybe we don't.
[DUCT NOISES.]
Hey! We should go this way.
- This is the way out.
- It's not.
- You're going in a circle.
- I know what I'm doing.
Girls have no sense of direction.
Everyone knows that.
That sexist rubbish won't make me bite.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're no fun.
Coming? No, my Spidey-senses say this way.
[SIGHS.]
Better be right.
BROOKLYN: Eww! - This is crazy.
- JESSE: Just do the assignment.
Act normal.
What exactly is normal about looking at your giant dandruff? Um, Mr Bates, your theory isn't working.
Quiet, Ben.
- But if you just let us out, I can - Quiet, Ben.
- But, Mr Bates, I - Shhhh! [THUNDERCLAP.]
What do you think he's gonna do? I think we're heading for a full-blown hissy fit.
We have to find the others.
Wow, they're like little snowflakes.
Every one is different.
HEATH: It's a psychotic breakdown.
Everything Bates believes in has come crashing down.
He can't handle it.
Since when are you so insightful? Well, my parents went to divorce-land and all I got was this lousy family counselling.
A lot of family counselling.
Did it work? I'm a picture of well-adjusted mental health, aren't I? [CHUCKLES DRYLY.]
- [ECHO.]
- I think we're getting close.
I can smell fresh air.
Er, Nicco, you were right.
NICCO: I was? So much for your Spidey-senses.
You two are in so much trouble.
Detention for a month, right? Heath, I want you to remember this moment.
- Why? - "Girls have no sense of direction.
" [FLAMES CRACKLE.]
- How did you do that? - Mechanics classroom.
Full of useful things.
There you go.
Year 7 artwork is actually good for something.
You're nothing like I thought you were.
Well, what did you think I was? Another Brooklyn, I guess.
Yeah? Well, now you know better.
[ALARM WHOOPS.]
We did it! - BATES: Everybody stay calm.
- [ALARM CONTINUES.]
We'll form an orderly line and make our way to the fire assembly point.
This is probably just a drill.
- NICCO: I smell smoke.
- Right you are.
Stay low, cover your mouth and nose, and remember stop, drop and roll.
Let's go.
Come on! - This way! Quick! - Faster! I said an orderly line! Hurry up! BEN: Luke, we have to do the spell! HEATH: Hey! Thanks for coming back.
Stop! It was a hoax! Everyone back to class! [EERIE RATTLING.]
HEATH: Mr Bates! Don't just stand there! Run! - NICCO: Do something! - This is what you were talking about? - What do we do? - LUKE: We have to help him.
- This is not good.
- Quickly! What about the spell? Not without Bates.
We can't leave him.
- JESSE: Use the protection spell.
- HEATH: Don't make me regret this.
"Divinity of the elements I summon thee," Air, water, fire and earth, "Aid in my quest I call you forth " - JESSE: It's still here! - What's happening? HEATH: Together.
Again.
ALL: "Divinity of the elements I summon thee", Air, water, fire and earth, "Aid in my quest I call you forth" [EERIE GROWLING.]
I don't understand.
What happened? What did you do? We told you magic was real, Mr Bates.
We have to do the spell to take us home Now.
Our heart's desire.
BATES: This can't be real, can it? BROOKLYN: What are they doing? The hair's gone.
- I need another one.
- No way.
I'll do it myself.
Let's do this.
- LUKE: What is that? - BEN: It's a talisman.
It makes the magic work.
And this isn't something you felt like mentioning earlier? Come on, let's just do this.
ALL: "Our heart's desire, Calling us home", With powers combined, "Let the separated dimensions entwine " [EERIE MUSIC.]
[WHOOSHING.]
We're home.
We did it! Everything's great.
That's what matters.
"'Lost in the Forest the Story of the Bremin Four'.
"A Jesse Banda musical"? - This is a thing? It's happening? - We're renovating? - How did this happen? You're not mad with me? Wait, stop! You're off the team.
[ZAPPING.]
Something really strange is going on.
CREDITS
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