Nurse Jackie s03e05 Episode Script

Jackie: Previously on "Nurse Jackie" If you need my help, I'll be around.
No, not this shit.
We've been waiting an hour.
My daughter's got asthma.
I'm sorry, this man has chest pains.
He goes first.
Akalitus named Dr.
O'Hara Chief of the E.
R.
Nothing has been set in stone.
If you want chief so badly, show me what you got.
Like a dance-off.
- You have a bunion.
- No, I don't.
- Those statues belong here.
- Not according to the books.
Can you at least give me a couple of extra weeks So that my staff can say their goodbyes? - I brought pie for dessert.
- You're cute.
Are they still out there-- Eddie and Tunie? - Yeah, I don't think he wants to leave yet.
- Really? ( man vocalizing ) Guess who's back.
Okay, I'll tell you Cantasha, also known as Candace and Natasha.
Are we talking about ice skaters? They sat in Admitting and yelled at us all day last time.
The kid ate three bags of nacho chips and a can of Mountain Dew totally littered! - So nobody's sick.
- Nobody's ever sick.
They're always here and they're never sick.
- Meanwhile - Do you have business in the pharmacy? I do not.
- Hey.
- Why are you texting Tunie? She texted me first.
This is my sister-in-law, Eddie.
What are you doing? I'm trying to see if you have a leg to stand on.
Yeah, well, whatever.
It doesn't matter.
- No? - No.
You know what? Forget it.
Go for it.
But just so you know, she was up half the night hacking into her ex-boyfriend's email, who is a pilot, by the way.
And you're telling me this why? 'Cause I don't wanna see you get sucked in.
Okay.
Coming across a little sharp, all I'm saying.
Well, that's not what I was going for.
You want a little valium, help take the edge off? There is no edge, Eddie, okay? No edge.
- Oh my God! - Not now, Thor.
- You are gonna die.
- Yes, one day for sure.
Eventually, yes.
gunshot wound to the head.
Found unresponsive in Tompkins Square.
Hypotensive, Guy was caught in the crossfire.
Bystander called it in.
- Is there an exit wound? - It's still in there.
- Any good news? - It's nice out.
- Shit, he's herniating.
Jackie! - Where's Jackie? What the Jesus.
Oh, you fucking rats.
Fuck! - Fuck! - Fuck! ( Sustained beeping ) Time of death: ( Beeping stops ) ( Tisks ) I'm really glad you were here.
What for? You know, two doctors instead of one.
If it were me I mean We're both really good at what we do.
And it's not like you lost him or I lost him.
We both lost him.
It's kind of a wash, don't you think? Is this about being chief? Look, I respect you as a doctor, but I also respect you as a competitor.
One of the many differences between you and I, Dr.
Cooper, is that you keep score on things that never should be scored.
You're gonna need those coping skills when you're my subordinate.
Surely any woman that's ever been under you has needed coping skills.
Sticks and stones.
Gotta bounce.
I'm having brunch with my moms at the boathouse central Park.
- How romantic.
- Cottage cheese pancakes.
That's right.
- Should I ask? - Not unless you want an answer.
I'll get him ready for the morgue.
Unless you can go back in time and set his affairs in order, - then I doubt - Yes, I know.
Go get a cup of coffee.
Let me clean him up.
Bless your heart.
- ( Wheels grinding ) - We were here last week.
My daughter can barely breathe and you got us waiting here for two hours.
She's got asthma.
Like I said, we can't treat your daughter - until you fill out the necessary - Like I said, you already got all my information in your fucking computer.
Ask Ina Arie over there.
He knows me.
Can you just follow the rules, please? Is he even awake? He has his own vibe.
Candace, to what do we owe the pleasure? Asthma, same as before.
Natasha can't breathe and these two - Here we go.
- Hello, she can't breathe.
All right, we will get to you when we get to you.
And we will get to you.
Meantime, people are trying to die in here.
Have a seat.
I've seen her at almost every hospital when I was temping.
Oh my God, the paperwork insane.
Yeah, well, the more hospital visits they make, the more assistance they get.
It's pretty simple.
So just move 'em along.
Have you ever stolen anything? - Yes, many times.
- Good.
- Chapel, half hour.
Bring Thor.
- You got it.
- How's the pain? - Not too bad.
Aren't you a terrible liar? I still think it's remarkable that you took a taxi.
Last time they called an ambulance.
That's a lot of attention more than I want.
Are you sure you're not English? I'm not sure of a damn thing.
Lou, what a nice surprise.
Nice for me, I mean.
Probably not for you.
You took a spill, huh? Remembering people's names is my bread and butter, but for the life of me I cannot remember your name right now.
- Forgive me? - No worries.
You're a busy man.
- Jackie.
- Jackie! Lou, Lou Babiak.
Good to see you.
Mr.
Babiak's hypertension caused him to fall again, and he now has a broken wrist and a chipped tooth to show for it.
Eesh.
What happened with the meds, if you don't mind me asking? Ahem, if you'll excuse me.
I lost my insurance.
Cobra ran out.
Couldn't swing it.
Me and everybody else, right? Well, you're not the only one if that's what you mean.
Still, it's humiliating.
I lost everything my job, insurance.
a child support payment.
They're gonna think I'm a failure.
- Who? - My kids.
First of all, nothing could be further from the truth.
Second of all, our kids love us blindly.
Believe me, I am counting on it.
All right, why don't you get dressed? We'll get you discharged.
Right, one filled out prescription.
So no excuses.
Come and see me in a year when it runs out.
I don't know what to say.
Say nothing.
I just broke the law.
A year's worth of meds? I took a leaf out of your book.
Sue me.
Imitation is the sincerest form And I can't very well flatter your wardrobe.
- I like my scrubs.
- Nope, sorry, can't do it.
Akalitus wants us to meet her in the chapel.
Very well.
Very well? Cuts both ways, doesn't it? Are you mad at me? This morning by the elevators totally dismissive.
You talked to me like I like I was Zoey.
- Oh, Jesus.
- And the hits just keep coming.
I'm sorry, honey.
I didn't mean to be dismissive.
- I just have a lot going on at home.
- That's another thing.
You didn't even tell me you were married.
You didn't even tell me you were diabetic.
I had to find out in the middle of a trauma.
Um, that's a disease.
My point is it was personal and I just figured you didn't wanna discuss it in this little shop of horrors.
Are you trying to placate me with a musical theater reference? - I am.
- It's working.
Good.
Let's go in.
Before we go in, I just wanna make sure that you understand why my feelings were hurt.
Oh my God.
Let's go.
Whoa, what's with the hardware? The diocese is deconsecrating this chapel.
- What does that mean? - They're taking my statues.
- Where? - Staten island.
Ooh, yikes.
Of all the statues in here, this is the one that matters the most to me.
She's tall.
She's got a lot on her mind.
And I relate.
Also, she's not judgmental.
That's something I'm working on.
It's irrational, but that's the nature of faith.
We're stealing her.
- Sorry to make you an accessory.
- Happy to be one.
You were never here.
But since you are, strap Mary to the Dolly and follow me.
Okay okay okay, this is the last one, promise.
- Big smiles.
- ( Camera shutter clicks ) - Nope, too dark.
One more.
- Dear God.
I wish there was better light in here.
Will you hurry up, Fitch? My quiche is getting cold.
Just let the boy take a picture, Maureen.
He's taken a thousand since we got here.
That boot is god-awful.
- Can't you take that off? - He has troubled feet.
Well, he doesn't get that from me.
- Another bloody Mary, please.
- Will you stop? Big smiles! I'll tickle you.
Aw, perfect! Gosh, I love this place.
Ooh, and I love these pancakes! ( Camera shutter clicks ) All right, honey, that's good.
Put your phone down and eat.
- Got it? - Yeah.
Great.
You got it.
Here we go.
So when do you become chief? Well, it's not official, but I'm feeling pretty good about it.
Why would they give it to you over a surgeon? Maureen! Well, I just want him to be realistic about the way things are.
She's a surgeon.
He's just a doctor.
- It's about leadership, mom.
- Well, of course it is.
Well, if you don't get it, don't just up and quit like you did with soccer and jazz band.
- Can we tell him now? - No! Tell me what? Fitch, we have something to tell you.
Yeah, after our lovely brunch together.
- No no, now.
- What is it? We have news we don't want you to get all dramatic about.
- Deal? - Deal.
What's the news? - Why did you have to do it like that? - No, I didn't do it like that.
- Would you be kind for five minutes? - I did what you said you guys are so cute.
What is it? Honey ( Sighs ) Your mother and I are getting a divorce.
Hmm? And there goes the chin.
What's so great about pilots? I mean unless you work for NASA, you're just a bus driver in the sky.
- Yeah.
- This'll only take a minute.
All the way in the back.
Tunie, let me call you back.
Thank you in advance for your cooperation.
O-okay? All right, we'll make a plan.
How long have you had a cot in here? Never mind.
I don't wanna know.
Take good care of her.
I thought it was just storage back here.
It is.
It's where I store my cot.
Listen, she called me, all right? She's out at the airport.
She's bored and I sucked in.
He's handling this better than I thought.
Fitch honey, come on back so we can talk.
You wanna talk? Fine.
This is bullshit! If he's just going to sit in that little boat and curse, I'm getting a cab.
Don't you move.
Honey, we're okay, really.
We're always gonna be your mothers.
It's just time for a change.
You're leaving mom for Dina, aren't you? Dina is my business partner, Fitch.
Besides, she's straight.
You were straight too once, remember? Honey, your mother and I love each other very much.
We just can't bear to be in the same room together anymore.
Dina.
( Scoffs ) Dina! How ridiculous! How straight is she? Lou, you all right? You know, you were discharged.
Do you need somebody to walk you out? No, I left, but I I went home and then I came back again.
I I, uh I keep falling.
Not literally, but well, that too, but I feel like I'm gonna do something stupid.
Okay.
I didn't know where else to go.
Okay, you're all right.
Come with me.
How long is the wait for a psych eval and a bed? What time's his appointment for? I just brought him up.
He doesn't have one.
Then he needs to make one and I don't have anything until next Thursday, so Okay, we both know you can make this happen.
What is the equivalent of chest pains up here? Got it.
You're hot shit in the E.
R.
? Well, you don't have that kind of pull up here, sweetie.
In order to be seen today he needs to make a scheduled appointment and have a doctor's referral.
I will give you one of my banked vacation days.
- It's yours.
- I have 11 from last year.
- Got kids? - Yeah.
I will come over and personally give everyone their flu shots.
And I'll get you some zofran just in case they get nauseous.
- ( Scoffs ) - Please help me.
This guy's about to stick his head in an oven.
( Sighs ) You'll give one to my mother too? Absolutely.
- Sir, can you step up here, please? - His name is Lou.
Hi, Lou.
We're gonna take good care of you, okay? I just need you to fill this form out for me.
Can you manage without your glasses for a bit? I just wanna freshen up the tape.
Thank you.
- Nurse: Still need a referring doctor.
- O'hara.
( Heart monitor beeping ) All right, okay, breathe in one more time.
( Inhales, exhales ) - Everything good? - Splendid.
Natasha appears to be in tip-top condition.
She's got asthma.
It's chronic.
Didn't hear any wheezing, but let's rule it out absolutely.
All right, my dear, you know the drill.
Take a deep breath and you blow as hard as you can.
Don't push yourself, baby.
( Exhales ) The candles on your next birthday cake don't stand a chance.
She can breathe out.
She can't breathe in.
Dr.
O'hara? If you'll excuse us.
Everyone's entitled to decent health care.
If you come in sick, I will fix you.
If you pretend to be sick, I am gonna pretend to fix you.
Recent history notwithstanding, I do know when I'm being swindled.
- All right, let it out.
- You better hope I never do.
Well, you're probably right.
Anyway, I just think you're encouraging - that little girl when - And, oh God, I hope I am.
And please stop thinking you're one step ahead.
- Tasha, hurry up and get dressed.
- So You've been to lots of hospitals looks like.
- Yeah.
- Pretty boring, I imagine.
Waiting rooms are miserable places.
I really appreciate your patience.
Much more interesting on this side of things.
Did ever think about becoming a doctor? Bet you'd be wonderful.
Well, there she goes again.
She'll always try to get the smart ones to become doctors.
The smartest people I know are the nurses.
You should become a nurse.
It's much cooler.
( Mouths word ) Hey, Thor, have you ever - With a woman? - Private.
- What's on the menu? - Private! Salad wrap.
I'd have told him when I was ready.
I love it when I'm not jealous of other people's food.
Bon appetit a moi.
- ( Screaming ) - Thor: Huh, a dead rat.
- ( Shrieking ) - ( People groaning ) ( Splashes ) You messed with my stash.
( Flushes ) ( Siren wailing ) If you wanna ruin your kids' lives, get a divorce.
You all right? ( Crying ) ( Sighs ) ( Sobbing ) ( Sobbing continues ) I needed that.
Whew.
You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go heal some shit.
( Sniffles, sighs ) Okay, honey.
Let me talk to Fiona.
Hi, sweetie.
I just wanted to make sure you guys got home from school okay.
Yeah? Was it a good day? You did? Oh Yeah, I can't wait to see it.
Okay.
I love you too.
Bye bye.
What a lovely lovely surprise.
Well, not exactly a surprise.
I only have a second.
How much you got? You're gonna stand, give me a hug, slip it in my pocket and sit.
Not me, a client of mine.
I was gonna give it to her at a meeting, but she didn't make it.
Maybe next time.
Nope.
She's dead.
It's yours.
Lift the bottom.
I'm rootin' for ya.
Would you like to see a menu? No, thanks.
I'm on the clock.
Woman: Peyton? Jackie Peyton.
Why is every little bitty thing falling apart? thanks.
seems to me I'm unaccustomed to Hey, would you give these to the patient in there? Thanks.
there is a memory that is containing me as if forgotten all the way it's supposed to be why is every little bitty thing falling apart? Rats.