Nurse Jackie s03e10 Episode Script

Fuck The Lemurs

Previously on "Nurse Jackie" - I think I might have caught it.
- Do me a favor, could you run to Duane Reade and pick me up some anti-histamines, some cough syrup? Robo DMX? Do me a favor, go to Duane Reade and pick me up some no-doz.
The news-stand is out of it.
If a coworker so much as raises a specter of substance abuse I am required by law to inform H.
R.
I sent you up to Oncology with 40 fentanyl patches.
Only 30 got there.
You broke the chain of custody during an inter-pharmacy run.
On my first or second day.
Come on, man.
My heart is going really fast.
- Can you check my pulse? - Sure, sweetie, come here.
She's gonna be my wife, Eddie.
Logged on, started looking up old girlfriends.
Boom.
She's the one.
I've gone 37 hours with no percocet, no vicodin, no oxy.
How the fuck am I gonna make it to 38? Gotta say, I'm really blown away that you would meet us this early.
- We appreciate it.
- No, schedules are schedules.
This is a decision that affects the whole family, so Grace, do you want to start? It's okay, monkey.
I think if I think bad things they're gonna happen.
Oh, honey.
I think everybody thinks that sometimes.
I don't want to tell them.
We have been exploring the possibility of medication.
Really, Grace? Do you want to help your mom and dad understand why you want to do this? No one's saying no, honey.
Just tell us what's going on.
I can't get my thoughts to slow down.
I try to stop them.
I pray.
I have a rosary.
And even when I'm sleeping I have a dream journal.
But it's got a lot of nightmares in it about animals and fire.
But, honey, medicine doesn't always do what you think it's gonna do.
I'm not a psychiatrist but I- no, I'm reluctant to prescribe an SSRI, because while they're very effective in treating acute anxiety, they're primarily used in cases of depression.
And I just- I don't- I don't see the depressive component in Grace.
Tell me if you agree.
I'm not sad.
Okay, that's good.
But I'm afraid I'm gonna start pulling my hair out again.
And I don't want to.
I like my hair.
I think it's pretty.
I've seen success with pediatric doses of xanax.
It would allow Grace to spot treat her anxiety, giving her a sense of control.
And unlike an SSRI, she doesn't have to take it every day which I think is important.
Is this really what you want to do, Grace? I just don't want you guys to be disappointed in me.
I have a couple quick questions I want to ask your mom and dad.
- You good? - Mm.
So has anything changed recently in the household? Any additional stress? No.
Not that I can think of.
No, it's business as usual.
Hey.
Whoa, you okay? Just came from Grace's shrink.
Fucking ripped my guts out.
What do you need from me? What can I do? It's for my kid.
Can you believe it? That's rough.
That's rough.
Yeah.
She asked me and Kevin in front of her doctor if she could go on medication.
What am I doing? Maybe it's just for a little while.
You know, just to get her through a rough patch.
Eddie, look who you're talking to.
Well, that's a low dose.
That's good, right? Actually, I'm- I'm swamped here.
It's all right.
It can wait.
I'm not even sure I have this low a dose.
You might be better off going to a drugstore.
Just fill it when you can.
I'll come back later.
Thanks, Eddie.
Welcome to Emergency.
We will be taking you department by department in groups of three.
That's groups of three.
Keep the hubbub down, folks.
Hope you don't have lunch plans.
You two are next.
Sorry I'm late.
Did I miss anything? What the hell is she doing? Hey, ringers off! Get with the program! Flu shots.
It's doctor day.
Every day is doctor day.
She must be in heaven.
Wait till you get a load of Thor.
Ah yes, Dr.
Saqr from Ortho.
That means falcon, does it not? No clue.
Can you just Oh, sure.
No need for small talk.
Got my braces off today.
Three years with adult braces, you could at least look.
Next.
Yeah, but compared to Bellevue? Just saying it's a different animal, man.
It's not that there's more action, just better action.
More gunshots, more stabbings.
Can't all be bullets and life support.
You want to tell me what happened? No, I don't want to say now.
I was holding my neighbor's kid, a three-month old.
There's nothing like it.
Yeah well, except she reached out and scratched my cornea.
The kid I mean.
Not the mom.
No good deed, right? Woke up with the girlfriend.
Not gonna lie, magical.
Strong words there, Hoss.
Hooked on a feeling, yo.
She is gonna die when I propose.
I know I would.
How about some percocet for your patient? - I'll be back in a second.
- We'll be right here.
- One second.
- Kelly, take over for Jackie.
- Follow me.
- You got it.
Is this like a random urine test? Please tell me this is random.
Nobody's furnishing any urine.
No, I- that's- I understand that.
I just want to know if I am being singled out.
Don't push me, Jackie.
You pull me in here and tell me I can't administer meds and you expect me not to push you? What are you talking about? H.
R.
called me.
That's all I'm gonna say.
Okay, and said what? H.
R.
has a bee in its bonnet.
They're under the impression that someone in the emergency department is abusing narcotics.
Okay, so this is an H.
R.
decision? No, it's my decision.
Why? - I don't want H.
R.
launching a full-fledged investigation because then I'll have no say in the matter.
I'm handling this the best way I can think of and hoping it goes away.
I'm protecting my department.
I'm protecting you.
I don't need your protection.
You're running a sinking ship here, Gloria.
You want to take me off the deck? That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.
Jackie, at a certain point the discrepancies reflect on my ability to control my department.
Okay, what about Sam? All he talks about is being an addict.
And Kelly.
You don't know a goddamn thing about that guy.
This goes back a long time- even before they got here.
And I made a point of telling you that if a coworker even raises a specter of narcotics abuse- All right, yes.
I know what you told me.
God damn it.
This is my reputation we're talking about.
Does anybody else know about this? No.
I alerted the Pharmacy, but no.
None of the nurses know.
Neither do any of the physicians.
- I need a favor.
- No.
No, I'm not asking you to go back on your decision, okay? You're gonna do what you're gonna do.
Just please don't tell anybody.
I need to maintain at least the facade of dignity in front of my coworkers, okay? Please.
This is important to me.
Fine.
It stays between us.
But bear in mind somebody told somebody.
People know.
I don't know what to say about that.
I cannot even imagine how somebody in this hospital thinks- oh wait.
Yes I can.
Jackie, leave it alone.
Jackie.
- Hey, Jackie.
- Don't say a fucking word.
What was that about? It's Monday.
All I said was, "got a minute for the Madagascar lemur?" And a pack of frat boys went off on me.
All right, could you relax and follow my finger, Mr.
Finch? Like I want to be out there asking people to sign my clipboard giving me dorm rooms and fake phone numbers.
- It's bullshit.
- It's total bullshit.
I give you a shred of information about my life and you go running your mouth? What, did you think you were helping me? - Stop it.
- Nobody can be that stupid.
Especially not you.
What the fuck were you thinking? Leave.
Get out now.
Yeah, order me out of my own trauma.
Right, I'd like to get you up to C.
T.
, Mr.
Finch.
I suspect you have a fractured cheekbone.
- Want to talk? - Stay out of it, Zoey.
I know, but- - You're in way over your head.
- No, I don't think I am.
No more fighting, man.
Peace is the word.
That's from "Grease.
" You guys have a bond.
Doctors and nurses, no longer cats and dogs.
- I've blogged about it.
- Replace yourself.
Immediately! - Will you go in- - Are you okay? - Will you go in and assist? - Yeah yeah, but- No no, it's okay.
Just go.
Just so you know, Jackie came out of there more calm on the outside, pissed on the inside than I've ever seen her and now you in tears.
Used to like O'Hara.
After this, not so much.
You guys, they're fighting.
- My money's on O'Hara.
- Your money's no good here.
Dude, having Jackie mad at you is about the harshest feeling in the world.
So I feel bad for her.
- Who you feeling bad for? - O'Hara.
Why do you feel bad for O'Hara? She's a doctor with awesome shoes and a Towncar and an accent- case closed.
Jackie's mad at her.
I feel bad for her.
I'm still taking Jackie's side.
You guys, we don't even know why they're fighting.
Doesn't matter.
Team O'Hara.
And it's not because she's a doctor.
Good looking people have to stick together.
Okay, promise not to laugh.
- What's up? - Hey, guy.
This is my friend Dylan.
He got his head stuck in his chair.
It's not my chair.
And there goes Cooper Duper.
Is that Cooper from the fantasy league? Pull it together, pal.
What you said or who you said it to, all I know is that after I can't dispense meds.
Sit down and shut up.
If I had any interest in having you pulled off the floor.
- I'd have done it ages ago.
- Oh, is that right? I'd have had to fit it in-between spontaneous nosebleeds and interventions, but yes, that's right.
You nipped an MRI from a cripple.
And before I could catch my breath, your husband had dragged me into a whirlwind of panic because you got sloppy.
- All right.
- I don't talk about it because I don't like talking about it.
And I know full well that if I did start talking about it you'd go so far underground that no one would hear your cry for help if in fact one day you need it.
What I expect from you, what I demand right now is the benefit of the doubt.
I've said nothing.
And I've been asked.
Have you? Yes.
It's just so humiliating.
All of a sudden I can't dispense meds.
Everybody knows what that means.
Stick close to me.
I'll administer anything I prescribe.
Somebody went to H.
R.
So let's get through this, find out who it is and burn their playhouse down, yes? Are you guys still fighting? - Yes.
- Very much so.
We need your help with a patient.
Dr.
Cooper is useless.
Yes, all right.
If Coop finds out, just shoot me now.
Dump the pharmacy runs on Zoey.
Yes, the pharmacy has been alerted.
Oh my God.
That's why he couldn't fill my scrip.
- What? - Eddie.
This morning for Grace, not for me.
Xanax.
Oh my God.
She's 11.
More vaseline? In a perfect world we'd have this off before your father gets here.
Ow ow ow! Kelly, kidney stone in six needs morphine.
- You want to get that? - No, not really.
Go ahead.
Dylan.
- Oh.
- Hi, dad.
Look what I did.
Jeez, what goes on in the mind of an 11-year-old, huh? I wish I knew.
Mmm.
No.
Hey, Gloria.
Zen temple? Rainforest.
Go away.
So did you hear the big news? Thor got his braces off.
I know everything.
No, I'm getting married.
Why aren't people talking about this? - So I was thinking- - Never good.
I want to reserve the chapel.
I'm not a party planner.
I don't take reservations, Dr.
Cooper.
But it's my wedding.
Maybe on my birthday.
No, definitely on my birthday.
Which means the date's not flexible.
Come on, Gloria.
This place is my life.
And the chapel, its stained glass windows, the little candles, the mannequins.
They're not mannequins.
They're statues and they're gone.
What do you mean they're gone? They've been gone for weeks.
Well, we've got to get them back.
It's my birthday wedding.
We can't.
They're being held in Staten Island.
Held? Like for ransom? As a matter of fact, yes.
For ransom.
Exactly.
Fuckers.
'Cause I'll pay.
I've got football money coming.
Let me make some calls.
You sure about this? Birthday wedding.
Coop style.
The sky's the limit.
People are gonna freak.
Aah.
Madagascar lemur.
Little yellow eyes, stripey tail.
Like raccoons.
Raccoons are cool but they can fend for themselves.
They're tough.
Not lemurs, man.
They need a little backup these days.
That's a good fight.
Keep on it.
Thanks, man.
I have to confess, I don't know a lot about the Madagascar lemur.
They have small brains.
Ah, that's probably why they're endangered.
Little tiny brains.
Yeah, it's either that or the industrialized world's insatiable lust for deforestation and paper products.
I hate the industrialized world.
Also, I have a kindle.
Have you actually ever seen a lemur, you know, in person? No.
And yet you risk your life.
Oh my God, Hoss from Radiology.
It's me Thor, from Cooper Duper.
Hey Thor, wanna pick out engagement rings with me after work? Only if Jackie doesn't need moral support.
O'Hara's the worst.
Oh, there goes team Jackie, running off at the mouth.
- Stop talking about me.
- Really, Hoss, these are the clowns you're losing our money to? Evil genius clowns.
- Bring it! - Roll up your sleeve.
This may sting a little.
I mean a lot.
Where's my Boo? Creeping on world peace.
Right behind you.
- Zoey, are you flirting? - No! - She's not flirting, man.
- Not even a little bit.
Lenny, I'd like you to meet Kyle.
- What's up with your grill? - Kyle is a lemur advocate.
Actually, I collect signatures to halt deforestation.
I'm not so much pro lemur as I am anti big business.
Yeah, fuck the lemurs.
I'm sure they can handle the bulldozers.
Lenny.
Say that again and I'll knock your teeth out.
Stand up for what you love, man.
See you after work? Boyfriend.
I'm not asking you to give the statues back.
Almost done.
Sit.
Listen, father, you're a fundraiser.
I'm a fund-raiser.
I'd like to think that catholic charities is open to a generous donation in exchange for the safe return of the statues.
I'll see what I can do.
$7,000- he's out of his fucking mind! Probably wants them in small bills too.
- How can I help you? - This- ahem- - business with Jackie.
- Off limits.
I thought as much.
Nothing you did set it off, if that's what you're worried about.
Hmmm, not worried.
Are you trying to buy your statues back? I want them back for the chapel.
Coop wants them back for his wedding.
It's a win/win.
Well, if you come up short, I'm happy to help.
I'd rather gouge Coop.
You're not really working, are you? You're on Facebook or Skype or something, right? Mmm, reading about warts.
Gross.
May I? Ahem.
- Fabulous about the wedding.
- Mmm.
Fingers crossed.
Fingers crossed.
D'you know, I'm curious though.
You and I working together what, five, six years? Here you are on the verge of signing away your willy till death do you part, and you've never asked me out.
Not once.
Never gave it the old college try.
Didn't want to give it a go, eh? Me? No no! I'll- I'll give it a go.
We can go now.
It's not official.
I haven't even proposed yet.
I just always assumed you'd say no.
But you never asked.
How would you know if you never asked? I'm asking.
C'mon, let's go.
It's no good if I have to drag it out of you.
You're not dragging.
Who's dragging? No one's dragging.
See? Watch Wanna go on a date? No, thank you.
No.
Absolutely not.
God, no.
Never.
Why would you make me ask you out if you were just gonna say no? Ego is ego, my friend.
Is that Latin? Happy for you.
Cheers.
I get it, Kev.
I just thought, you know, after this morning, that it would be nice to have dinner as a family I know, babe, but we can do a nice big breakfast.
Well, I'm cutting out early today.
So, you know, I'll see you or I won't.
Kevin, I need to believe that we're in this together.
We are.
It's only dinner, okay? I'll get Sully to cover from 9:00 till 2:00.
I'll be home by 9:30, 10:00 at the latest.
- All right.
Do what you gotta do and get home, okay? I love you.
- I love you.
- Bye.
- Fresh air? - Yes please.
So how about this? I'm finally getting over the nausea and the sweating.
I'm a week off the pills, right? - You're kidding? - No, I'm not kidding.
Ah! Yes, a week to the day off of pills.
And my kid goes on them and Akalitus bans me from the meds.
And my fucking husband who begs me to take time off is not even gonna be there when I get home today, so what the fuck am I doing this for? Because you're fantastic! It's ironic though, isn't it? You want irony? Ordinarily I'd never tell a soul, but you've just told me your deepest darkest, so here goes I barged into Coop's office, told him I was wrecked that he was getting married, - crushed he'd never asked me out.
- You were kidding, right? I was not.
And then I kissed him.
- No! - Yes.
I kissed him and wished him the best and then The feeling passed.
Oh, the feeling passed.
Thank God the feeling passed because I don't know if I could continue with our friendship.
Just to be clear Coop is where you draw the line? Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I think it is.
Hey Jackie.
I'm sorry.
It's- it's my job.
Yeah, I get it.
It's a small number of pills in an incredibly low dose.
With her tolerance, she couldn't get high even if she wanted to.
- Sorry, but it's true.
- Walking away.
Thank you.
You coming or going? Just getting away.
Would you cover for me? I'd like to slip out early, have dinner with my kids.
Sure.
If it makes life easier, yeah.
How long till I feel it? I don't know, baby.
It's different for different people.
You've never taken anything before, so it shouldn't be long.
How are you feeling right now? It's like I'm on the edge of having 10 ideas all at once, only- maybe I don't have to have them.
Like I could say "freeze" and walk right up to them and see if I want to let them in or not.
I don't think they're ever gonna go away, but If I don't want to think them, I don't have to.
No, you don't.
My heart is moving A little slower.
I can't tell.
But it's okay.
It's just for now.

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