Off The Map s01e04 Episode Script

On the Mean Streets of San Miguel

That's the delivery? - Oh, not good.
Not good at all.
- What is it? - That's a dentist chair.
- Why are we picking up a dentist chair? Keeton did say something about hosting a traveling dental clinic.
Oh, all right.
That's good.
Fresh breath, clean teeth.
Do you see a dentist with that dentist chair? Someone's definitely gonna be on dental duty.
Mopping up drool, flossing, holding kids' hands - That's not medicine, it's torture.
- I don't hold hands.
How do we carry that thing all the way back to the clinic? - Hey.
- What is the driving age here? Who cares? Charlie, you are a hero.
You see, hermano? A woman always wants to be rescued.
Smooth move, man.
Real smooth.
- Too cold.
- I made you the first appointment.
You're gonna get that wisdom tooth fixed.
Loca, I'm slammed with patients all day.
- You've been putting it off for a year.
- I got a house call.
It's just gonna get worse.
Not if Not if you kiss it better.
Keeton? That's all you, woman.
What did he do this time, cariño? I'm not mad at him.
I'm mad at the jungle.
You're mad at the jungle? I can't be mad at him, because he was honest with me from the beginning.
I can't be mad at his wife, because she doesn't exist anymore.
And I can't be mad at myself, because every time I try to break it off, he wears that stupid blue shirt that makes his eyes just that stupid color blue.
There's just no one to be mad at, so I'm mad at the jungle.
You know, you and Cole have the right idea.
Just keep it simple.
No strings.
Friends with benefits.
- I think it's more than that.
- So, what is it? You'd better figure it out, amiga, before somebody gets hurt.
Mira, mira, be mad at the jungle over there, okay? Now, my fourth wife, I met at an ashram in Kuala Lumpur.
Seven months later, she takes everything, even my dog.
See, right there, the universe was trying to tell me something.
"Stop getting married.
You're not good at it"? No.
"Change your life, Hank.
" And I did.
Came down to paradise to clean some teeth and party with the people.
- That's inspiring.
- There, little buddy, look at that.
- Here you go.
- Okay, who's next? Lovely parting gift for you.
Thank you.
Good to see you again.
I want you to meet Dr.
Minard.
She's my right- hand woman for a few days.
I'm his-- Just his dental hygienist.
Abuelito's been teaching at the schoolhouse in la ciudad for what, five generations now? No, I've been here 64 years now.
Okay.
Maria, you're first.
- There we go.
- Come on up, honey.
- She doesn't - You know what? Maybe take her hand.
- Okay, someone else will go first.
- Don't be scared, cariño.
Abuelito will go first.
- There's a good idea.
- Okay.
- All right, buddy.
Look at you.
- Okay.
Open.
Wow, that's a nice grill.
Are those gold fillings? You don't see those much anymore.
Oh, Hank, there's a lesion on his soft palate.
Okay, let's have a look.
Open wide.
- Boy.
Holy crap.
- Increase suction.
Get me Gelfoam.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's your suction.
- Let me get some Gelfoam.
- We gotta get him to ER.
Prep the ER.
- Oh, boy.
Oh, boy, that's a lot of blood.
- Bite down.
Bite.
Okay, let's see.
Dr.
Keeton had you on Keflex for a leg infection.
Hard to believe a man like that is still single.
He never married? He did, yeah.
He did, actually.
She passed away.
It's pretty incredible when you think about it.
To even go on after something like that, it's Well, it's hard, you know? But he's saving the world.
I'm not a loca.
You like him too.
- How long since she died? - I don't know, a few years.
Better get on that before someone else does.
I don't think we should be talking.
Let's just take a look at your leg, shall we? It's been hurting a little more.
I'll have Dr.
Keeton take a look.
Well, the bleeding looks much better.
I'm just taking a little biopsy of this lesion.
There, all done.
We'll take good care of him, okay? Don't worry.
Don't worry.
You have quite the fan base here.
Yes.
Children love to learn if you ply them with sugar.
Were you a teacher back home too? In Budapest, I wanted to.
But I never got the chance.
I made many stupid mistakes in my youth.
Yeah, I'm starting to think that all the expats have the same story.
A few divorces, a few bad choices.
Is that you too? - Something like that, doctor.
- Yeah.
I think it's cancer.
Well, doesn't really matter what you think.
I'm the one with the medical degree.
I like sassy blonds.
My wife was a sassy blond.
So do you forgive me? He's with Ryan.
- I need vancomycin.
- Wait, what? I have a patient with a staph infection, MRSA.
- Vanco's my best bet, right? - Right.
But the first part.
Keeton's with Ryan.
Clark's off the market? Oh, bummer.
Oh, hey, hey.
I'm sorry.
I'm not really good at girl talk.
- But, you know, if you wanna talk-- - No, I'm fine.
You don't really-- You seem kind of upset.
- I'm not upset.
- Morning, doctors.
I have a patient with cervical strain.
Just gonna put him in a soft neck collar.
Great.
- You okay, Brenner? - Yeah, yeah.
I'm just trying to find IV vanco for Tierra Ruiz because she is failing Keflex.
Yeah, I was expecting a shipment three months ago.
- So who should I call? - No, no, it's stuck in customs.
You gotta go pick it up in San Miguel.
You know, I was gonna go there Friday and see some patients at the hospital out there.
- But we'll go today.
- Oh, I could just take the bus.
Well, there's no bus to San Miguel, Brenner.
It's a four- hour drive through the jungle.
Oh, and bring the kid.
You're gonna need a translator.
Hey, can I ask you something? - Me? - It's not my first choice, but you're here.
What do we do with terminal cases? Well, if they're truly terminal, we usually just send them home with pain meds until nature takes its course.
Can't really afford hospice care around here.
You have a terminal patient? Eighty- five- year- old with diffuse rock- hard lymph nodes, weight loss.
Biopsy shows oral cancer.
- He doesn't have much time left.
- I'm sorry.
Everybody really loves this guy.
You know, I'm not the best at this part.
I just wanna do this right.
He deserves at least that.
How bad is it? If you were to go to a larger city, there would be chemotherapy, targeted radiation-- But at your age and with cancer so advanced, we usually don't recommend treatment, just pain management.
Good.
I've lived a long life.
I'm ready to go.
- But I need your help.
- Of course.
What can we do? - Take my teeth.
- I'm sorry? You see, I've got gold fillings in my teeth.
Take them.
And I've got jewelry.
Gold jewelry.
I Take them all.
It's not mine.
- What do you mean it's not yours? - He's loopy from the morphine.
We should just let him rest.
I took it.
I took it from them.
- Who did you take it from? - He doesn't know what he's talking about.
- He's hallucinating.
- I've done bad things.
We've all done bad things, abuelito.
- What? - Just try to get some rest, okay? - What did you do? - Minard.
You said that you came here from Hungary 64 years ago.
That's 1947.
You're so like my late wife.
Why did you come to South America, abuelito? She looked so stern, just like you.
- But she loved to have fun.
- What is your real name? She laughed and laughed and laughed, and then she looked so serious.
What is your real name? That's enough, all right? You're upsetting him.
He's a Nazi.
San Miguel is a tough little city.
You gotta keep your wits about you, especially where you're going.
The post office? Everyone fishes for bribes, especially government officials.
- They expect a mordida.
A taste.
- Even for medicine? Especially for medicine.
Anything you can't do without.
Yeah, well, bribes keep our economy going.
That and bananas.
But it is clinic policy not to bite, else they're gonna want a take every time some bandages come in.
Well, you don't have to worry about me.
I'm a play- by- the- rules kind of girl.
Wouldn't even know how to grease a palm.
I'd probably start with a good moisturizer.
It's good to know I can trust you, Brenner.
Yeah.
So how long have you and Dr.
Clark been dating? Oh, I'm sorry.
That's none of my business.
I shouldn't have Well, it's no secret.
About a year or so, I guess, on and off.
- You know, we fight, we make up.
- Oh, and they make up everywhere.
In the supply closet, behind the generator, that crawl space under the porch-- - Okay, I don't need to - Okay, amigo.
- Thank you.
- Sorry.
Yeah, thanks.
- You know, it's - It's complicated.
- Yeah.
- Such is love, sí? So how long is this drive again? About four or five hours.
Why? No reason.
He joined the Waffen SS as a guard until the end of the war.
- That's all he said before he passed out.
- He was a guard in a concentration camp.
- We can pretty much fill in the details.
- So he's been hiding here for 60 years? - Yes.
- I knew his wife.
She's buried a few miles from here.
They've been living this quiet life of-- After a career of calculated genocide.
Some of us have known him for a long time.
Way before you came along.
So can we just get a minute to digest it? - He's a criminal.
Who do we call? - Minard.
He was 16 when he signed up.
He probably didn't even know what he was doing.
We have to call someone.
The government, the embassy.
There's a Navy base nearby.
They'll know how to proceed.
In the meantime, treat his pain.
Keeton's gone for an hour, and the last Nazi in South America shows up.
Doesn't mean the vacation's over, you know? There's plenty of great birdwatching in the area.
- Be careful looking up.
- Necesito un doctor now.
- Excuse me, there's a line, sir.
- Doctor, now.
Right, and all these nice people need un doctor as well.
So if you could please just-- Are you--? Sir, this is a private office, okay? You're not allowed to be in here, so just-- - What? - Close the door, idiota.
- Oh, jeez.
All right.
- Close the door.
Fine.
What? What? Is it your hand? Your hand? Your hand is hurt? Your hand is fine.
Six hours like this.
It won't go down.
I can't make it go down.
Symptoms started six hours ago.
Sweating, fever and the genital situation.
No nurses.
I am not a nurse.
You can look.
- No one touches.
- Dude, seriously, no one wants to.
Okay, I've gone through all the possible causes of priapism, but-- - I can't figure anything out, though.
- Medication, recreational drugs? No signs of trauma, either.
You were in the middle of a busy day, verdad? I fix cars.
Was there a produce truck at your garage today? Yeah.
Well, you were bitten by a banana spider.
- He probably hitched a ride on the truck.
- A spider did that? Is that why they call it a banana spider? Because it--? - Because it hides in bananas.
- Right, that's what I meant.
We need to administer antivenin for the fever, chills and inflammation.
Five of terbutaline for the priapism ASAP.
And then this will stop? Well, the shot should allow some of the blood to exit the swollen area.
But if it doesn't, there could be further complications.
What complications? Well, impaired erectile function, gangrene It just might not work properly or But that's really a worst- case scenario, so I wouldn't even-- Get the shot.
- Get the shot! - What a douche.
Sí, it crosses cultures.
Hey.
Alma? Hey, do you remember me from the festival the other night? We were kind of vibing on each other.
You said hola and then I said hola.
Hola, exactly.
See what you did right there? Okay, okay, okay, you just lost me right there.
Elan.
Elan, Elan, sí, yes.
You know Elan? Sí, okay.
Elan, he's my patient.
He's right in here.
Your novio? What's a novio? Boyfriend.
All right, I'm gonna head over to the hospital.
We'll meet back here at 5, okay? Four hours from now? We will be doing tequila shots by then.
Don't give him alcohol.
Oh, no, I would never actually - Come on.
- Yeah, see you at 5.
We don't stamps until Department of Health stamps.
Okay.
We don't stamps until Immigration stamps.
We don't stamps until Customs stamps.
Excuse me, señor, I need your help.
A woman's life is at stake here, or at least her leg.
And all I need from you is one stamp, okay? - What was--? - They're closed.
- Siesta.
- Are you kidding me? You ever hear "The Mean Streets of San Miguel"? It's a very popular song.
Did you know him too? He brought in one of his students to me.
The kid was in anaphylactic shock.
Throat swelled up, couldn't breathe.
Abuelito carried him like a baby all the way here.
Saved his life.
Didn't know him at all.
So, what happens now? Military's sending a medevac for him tomorrow.
- So he'll go on trial? - In theory.
It's never gonna happen.
Anemia, compromised airway.
He's not gonna make it through the night.
Get her out of here.
- She wants to know what's wrong.
- So tell her.
She cares about you.
It's humiliating.
I'm not telling her about this.
- Elan-- - Get out! Dude.
Mind your own business.
Hey, you wanna learn some Spanish? Novio means Alma's jackass boyfriend.
Who's Alma? The girl I met at the cantina.
She's sweet and beautiful.
And she's dating my patient, who's a total D- bag with an insanely large penis.
Just because it's engorged from a spider bite.
It's not normally like that, I don't-- Are you listening to me? Because this is really important.
I really care about this girl a lot.
- And she's dating a really bad guy-- - My patient is literally a Nazi.
Okay, carry on.
His stitches must have blown.
Elevate his head.
Open your mouth.
Open your mouth.
Let me see.
- What's going on? - His soft palate is shredded.
- What are you doing? - Emergency cric.
- Prep the OR.
- No, no.
Let me die.
Please, let me die.
- I deserve to die.
- He's refusing treatment.
He's gonna choke on his own blood if I don't.
He's riddled with cancer.
He wants to go peacefully.
- It's too late for that.
- We can give morphine and let him go.
He doesn't want surgery.
Morphine.
I'm making him comfortable.
- I'm not letting him die.
- It's not your decision.
- I said, prep the OR.
- Don't go anywhere.
No? Fine, I will do it myself.
Come on, move.
We got that one down.
Listen, there's this thing called doctor- patient confidentiality, and I have no idea how to translate that.
But the thing is, I can't tell you He has to be the one to tell you what's wrong.
I'm sorry.
I can fix what's wrong with Elan medically, but I can't change who he is.
I can't make him treat you the way that you deserve to be treated.
Not that I'm really even included in that.
I mean, my track record with girls is like The thing is, I'm trying to fix that.
I just feel like if you gave me a shot, somehow I-- Dr.
Fuller.
Can I have a word with you, please? Look, it doesn't have to be me.
But it shouldn't be him.
Hitting on your patient's girlfriend? That's low even for you.
That guy is the worst.
He doesn't deserve that girl.
- And who does? You? - I'll tell you one thing.
I'd take better care of her.
She wouldn't have to work in a bar.
You don't speak the girl's language.
And you think you understand her.
- No, I just-- - Your poor little barmaid? She works at the cantina because her parents own it.
That's right, they are the richest family in town.
So she doesn't need you or anyone else to rescue her from her poor South American life because she can save herself.
Well, I didn't know that.
Of course you didn't.
And you didn't bother to find out.
You don't know one thing about that girl.
You know what? I think that's what you like about her.
Well, guess what.
You're out of luck, chico, because South American blowup dolls don't exist.
Act like a doctor and treat your patient's priapism.
- What are you doing? - Saving his life.
After he refused life- saving measures.
I heard it, she heard it.
He was delirious from meds and blood loss.
- He wasn't in his right mind to refuse.
- He's 86 years old and dying of cancer.
This morning you were offering him hospice care.
Now you're cutting his throat open? I'm treating my patient before he suffocates.
In any other hospital, we would do exactly-- You're punishing him.
You're a doctor.
You don't get to judge.
It-- He doesn't get to die today when they're coming for him tomorrow.
He's had a great life.
He's been hiding out in paradise for 60 years.
One more day and he gets the judgment that he deserves.
He won't survive his first round of chemo.
- He won't stand trial.
- People will see his face.
The families of those people, they will know that he didn't get away with it.
I'm not gonna let him suffer, but I am giving him one more day.
So either scrub in or step back, because you are contaminating my field.
Cole? Try not to enjoy it so much.
Dr.
Keeton, you'll never believe what-- I'm sorry, I didn't - I'll come back.
You're with a patient.
- She's not a patient, Brenner.
She's my wife.
- Hey.
- You get that package okay? No, that's why I was - I'm sorry, what happened to her? - She was shot in a robbery.
She's been in a minimally conscious state for the last five years.
Do people know she's alive? Does Ryan? - I'm not that big of an ass.
- Hey, I'm not judging you, okay? I'm sorry.
You have every reason to be an ass, or just an angry, terrible person, but you're not.
- And that's incredible.
- Oh, yeah, it's incredible.
She's been gone for five years, and I've still got her hooked up to machines.
You see that? - It's hard to let go.
- Yeah, there's that.
There's also the big fat check that I take out of her trust fund.
She bankrolls the clinic, Brenner.
That's why she's here.
That's why we're still married, okay? So don't fool yourself into thinking that I'm some kind of a hero.
It's a little more complicated than that.
You take the truck back.
I'm gonna stay the night.
The medication we gave you didn't affect your condition, so we have to evacuate the corpus cavernosum.
- What? - We're gonna have to stick a needle in-- - No, you're not.
- We wait any longer, you risk impotence.
Do it.
- Will it hurt? - It's not gonna be pleasant, - but it will solve your problem.
- It won't solve anything.
When Alma hears, I'm gonna be avergonzado.
Humiliated.
Elan.
Elan.
Girls like vulnerability.
When I was a freshman in college, there was this senior I was in love with, and I'd just hit on her all the time.
You know, I'd brag about all the girls I used to date and my vast experience.
So one night I finally got her back in my room, and I'm so nervous that my flag won't fly at full mast.
You know, I'm embarrassed, and she's embarrassed because she thinks it's her fault.
So finally, I just-- I just tell her the truth, you know, that I'm freaking out because I've never done it before and Then we just had a beer, we talked about it, and then once it was out there, she really just liked me more.
And then we did it till the sun came up.
Dude, you've got a good girl out there.
Don't throw that away.
- Cuff's up.
Bag him.
- Okay.
What's wrong with your jaw? Been rubbing it all day.
It's a-- It's an impacted wisdom tooth.
- Maybe you should see the dentist.
- Maybe I should.
Thank you.
I didn't do it for you.
A Navy doc treats everyone in the field.
Soldiers, hostiles What happens to them after is out of your hands.
Who'd you lose? - What? - A great- grandparent? Someone fight overseas? You've got your reasons.
They don't need to be good enough for me or for her.
Just good enough for you.
Hey, you know siesta hours are almost over? Where's Keeton? He's got enough to worry about.
We're gonna have to rescue ourselves.
Tell him I'll give him 50.
He says 200, and he'll help himself to half of the Vicodin.
Really? Well, you tell him this: He gets 50 bucks.
That's it.
And he hands over all of my medicine.
And if he doesn't, he'd better pray to God he never gets sick anywhere near me, because I'm gonna be a doctor here for a long, long time.
And I don't care if he's on the ground bleeding from both eyeballs, it's gonna be at least 200 bucks before I so much as take his blood pressure.
I know it's uncomfortable.
Just try and relax.
If you take it out, you'll suffocate.
I can't let you do that.
I didn't lose anyone.
I'm not Jewish.
I'm not Catholic, I'm not gay, I'm not crippled, I'm not a Gypsy.
I think that my ancestors actually came over on the Mayflower or something.
My father is on the board of the biggest hospital in Boston.
And when I got kicked out of residency, he pulled some strings, and suddenly I had a clean résumé and a place in their program.
As if killing that kid never even happened.
I had a chance to run away too.
But I didn't.
I came here to face my consequences, not to hide, and I paid for my mistake.
Do you understand? Really, really, it's easier if you just try to relax.
So Yeah.
Are you--? Are you okay? Are you okay? Yes.
Crap.
How would you say "running tab" en español? - No.
Thank you.
That's okay.
- No, believe me.
You don't want to wash dishes here.
They pile them up extra high for the gringos.
Thank you.
I spent all my cash today bribing people for my mail, so Well, I hope it was good mail.
It was medicine.
I won't know for sure till tomorrow because it takes time to work, but I think it might save my patient's leg, so, yeah, good mail.
- You're a doctor? At the clinic? - Yep.
Wow, you must be every patient's hero.
No, no.
I'm just Lily.
Mateo.
Hey.
I should go.
Thank you so much for the beer-- Listen, I'm no doctor, but I don't think it's safe for you to leave.
I'm sorry? Well, it sounds like you've had a two- cerveza day.
Perhaps I buy you una más, make sure that you're all right.
I don't usually drink with strangers, by the way.
Well, I grew up here, I went away to university, and now I'm back.
Now you're the stranger.
- Hey.
- Hey.
I see you got your medical supplies.
I lost two weeks' pay and most of my dignity, but, yup, I got them.
And Tierra's leg is responding really well to the vanco, so You paid off Customs? I thought I told you about bribing government officials.
You did, you did.
And I promised I would play by the rules, but that hasn't really been working for me lately, so I just did what I had to do.
For my patient and for the clinic.
Just like you.
All right, I'll have to fix that later.
Well, you're learning how to survive down here.
Welcome to the jungle, right? That's my line.
See you, Brenner.
Goodbye, Dr.
Keeton.
Check- through placed last night.
Airway patent, vitals normal.
Squamous cell carcinoma of the palate.
He's getting an oncology consult when you land.
They wanna know what's wrong with him, where we're sending him, when he's coming back.
Go ahead, tell them.
I'll translate.
Your teacher has a tooth infection, so we're sending him to a special hospital to get it fixed.
Abuelito's gonna be just fine.
How's your tooth? Yesterday I had a five- piece brass band underneath my gum.
Today it's a full symphony orchestra.
Well, I don't feel sorry for you.
Only a niño is afraid to go to the dentist.
Didn't ask you to feel sorry for me, loca.
What are we doing? What, you mean about my tooth? No, I mean, what are we doing? You and me, together.
We're friends who are having sex.
I mean, we're having fun, right? That's what I thought too.
Now, that dentist is not going to be here much longer, so if you're gonna go, vete.
What happened? Speak on it, sister.
It's been an awesome pleasure, Dr.
Minard.
You'd make a fine dental hygienist-- - That's not gonna happen.
- It's not, is it? - No.
Okay.
- Okay.
- Thank you, Hank.
- Wait! Wait! Last call for dental work? - Am I too late? - Not at all, my man.
We can do it right here.
Have a seat.
Impacted with a periapical abscess.
Same as last year only it hurts a lot more, right? - Yeah.
- Okay.
We're gonna do some conscious sedation with Versed and morphine.
Give our friend the good stuff.
Send him to the moon for a few hours.
No pain meds.
I'll white- knuckle it.
Cole, this is surgery.
- I'm gonna have to crack your jawbone.
- Just lidocaine.
Numb the gums.
That's all I want.
- Local's not gonna do anything-- - No meds or no tooth, people.
You're not scared of the dental work, you're scared of the narcotics.
They could be a trigger.
I've been to the moon plenty.
Don't ever wanna go back.
I'm gonna have to drill down to make room for the elevator.
Are you sure about this, man? It's what he wants.
Just do it.

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