Offspring (2010) s02e02 Episode Script
Baby Bumps
Are you back for good now? Ah, I'm not sure Um, I'm here now 'cause my Dad's not well.
That's the cardiologist.
Um, I'm Darcy, Darcy Proudman's daughter.
Yes, good to meet you - You too - I've been Darcy's had another heart attack.
Geraldine, will you re-kindle our marriage? With the renewal of vows? Bugger it! Why not? Yes! Oh, thanks.
You're welcome.
Are you Nina Proudman? Fraser King, first year obstetrics registrer.
Hands up and gently release the legs.
Look life is short.
Mick! Let's make a baby now! Yes! I was thinking the same thing! Mick and Billy are making a baby! It must have been summer holidays.
I remember I was wearing pink sandals.
I remember my sister was bored.
And I remember being worried.
Mum didn't look sick.
And in the movies, when people went to the doctor not looking sick, it meant something bad.
You're going to die, Mrs Proudman.
Very soon.
Like Snow White's mother? Just like Snow White's mother.
Girls.
Your mother would like you to come in.
Billie, come and listen to this.
Do you know what that is? I want to go to Roller City.
Nina.
Heartbeat.
That's right.
You're gonna get a little baby brother or sister.
And that was it.
I didn't even know the word 'obstetrician'.
We called him "the baby doctor".
Sorry.
Oh, gosh.
Sorry.
You're sweating.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Just aerate.
Aerate.
I know.
Jacket off.
Um, just so you know, in the consultation, they might ask how long we've been trying.
Let me do the talking in that bit.
OK.
I told them we've been trying for six months.
What? Billie, we've been trying for two weeks.
It was the only way I could get an appointment.
She's meant to be the god of all fertility specialists, Mick.
You're unbelievable.
You're still sweating.
Why are you sweating? Oh No, you'll be fine.
Just walk in, introduce yourself.
All confidence.
Ms.
Ennin or Mel? I'd just say Mel.
Oh, and, Fraser, I always try and stay mindful that you are stepping into the biggest day of their lives.
Hi, Mel.
My name's Fraser King.
- How you feeling? - Yeah, OK so far.
Uh, we've usually tried mornings and I take my temperature every day, just to make sure that, you know, we're in the right zone.
Mm-hm.
And you started doing that? Uh, in August last year.
It's likely everything's fine.
Six months is not unusual.
But let's just cover a few lifestyle questions just in case.
Would you say that both of you are reasonably fit? Well, I run.
Mm-hm.
Regularly? II don't follow a schedule or anything but just, you know, when I get a strong urge, I just run, usually until it gets dark or l don't know where I am anymore.
Mm-hm.
Mick? Well, I don't have, like, a regime or anything Yeah, but your work is quite physical, honey.
Yeah, his work is it's quite physical.
I do gardening part-time.
It's it's really just lifting stuff, so No exercise apart from that? No.
Just the lifting of stuff.
Are either of you on any prescription medication? No.
- Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
I broke my wrists last year so I'm on anti-inflammatories.
Mm-hm.
Do either of you smoke? No.
Unless you count joints.
That's hardly ever.
Yeah, it's, like it's hardly ever.
These days.
Did you smoke heavily in the past? Pre Pretty heavily.
Yeah.
But I calmed it right back when I turned 30, so And how long had you been smoking prior to that? Uh I started in Year 9, so what's that? So, what, 16 years? It's not, like, 16 years.
Year 9, 10, 11 Oh Yeah.
Yeah, 16 years.
OK.
Well, it might be worth completing a semen analysis.
It rules out a lot of invasive tests for the woman often.
Um, if we could arrange a time We can do that today.
Good.
Oooh.
It's OK, Mel.
It's OK.
We're just gonna move you to the side.
You're doing really great, Mel.
You're doing really great.
OK, just take a big old suck of this gas.
There you go, darling.
Breathe.
OK.
Give it a minute in this position.
If it's cord compression, the heart rate will go right back up.
That's it.
That's the way.
Breathe.
OK, Mel, I'm very sorry, but we're gonna need to do a caesarean.
I promise you, Mel, in 15 minutes, you're gonna be looking at a healthy baby.
He's very enthusiastic.
Fraser.
Yeah.
You know, I thought it'd be a huge distraction, having a student.
It's actually really helpful.
Something about having him there, knowing he's watching.
I don't know.
I just make better choices or something.
Oh, trans fats and salt - why do you call to me? Is this really such a bad choice? I mean, there are vegetables here, and the body does need carbohydrates.
Yes.
Wrong choice, Nina.
Morning.
Boss! Hey! Oh, hi.
I've got to tell you, last night I went over the McAllister case um, broke it down on a spreadsheet.
Amazing - seeing all your decisions laid out like that.
It's rock-solid.
- Oh, thanks.
Yeah.
I'll forward it to you, yeah? - OK.
Hi.
- Hi.
Could he be any more desperate to get into your pants? What? Excuse me.
Ubersuck.
He's just dedicated to his professional development.
Right.
Just You know, that gesture doesn't even make sense.
It's metaphorical.
Who's the cheek? - He's the cheek.
That makes even less sense.
I think if you're gonna be accurate, it's Boss! Oh! I'm coming.
"Coming.
" Yeah.
Done? - You just left 15 minutes ago.
You don't have to chat yourself up.
You just get on with it.
Micky! A proposal.
It's not a good time, Jimmy.
Have you ever dreamt of a life with all your household chores taken care of? All your cooking? And hairstyling? And hot-stone massage? Is this about you moving in? You can't move in! Moving in is just one part of the tapestry I'm proposing.
Bad time, Jimmy.
Time is one thing you would have a lot more of! Look, it's 10 minutes down the road, it's got a huge yard No-one's denying it's a great place, Sam.
It's now what it's about.
- What's it about, then? It's about Darcy being OK with his son living in another man's house.
But I'm not - Just after he's had a heart attack.
No, but Nina said he's doing really well.
Sam, please Didn't you say before that he's better than ever? Can we just drop it? Sorry.
- That's fine.
Anyway, let's talk about Fraser.
There were some major love-eyes happening this morning.
What? Oh, why is everyone so obsessed with this? No-one's obsessed.
He was witnessing a twin caesarean.
Yeah.
With love-eyes.
- Who's Fraser? My registrar.
- A young casanova.
Anyway, back to Dad.
- No, I want to talk about this now.
There's nothing nothing to hear about, Sam.
He's he's my registrar.
And he was not making love-eyes.
He's just he's interested in me professionally, my processes.
Oh.
You do seem kind of worked up about it.
Anyway, Sam's right.
Dad will be fine.
I think you should tell him tonight.
What do I say? I don't know.
Just tell him OK.
Critical Proudman situation here.
Focus.
Oh Just tell him the obvious thing.
Dad! You ready? Oh, thank God.
You alright? - Oh, Billie I haven't spent this much unbroken time with your father since the mid-'90s.
It's inhumane.
Hey, Billie.
Billie, I'm gonna make a suggestion.
Now, do not be affected by your mother's reaction.
What? The recommitment ceremony, for your mother and me now, what if we don't have any speeches, we don't have any vows, none of that, but instead, we all just sing? All of us.
Together.
As a family.
We sing seven songs covering the history of the marriage.
What songs? I'm calling the first one 'Desert Heat Downtown'.
Dad, were you a heavy pot smoker when you were young? What? - Marijuana.
Were you into it? Oh, no.
Not really.
No.
It made me woozy.
Why? - You weren't? No.
Your mother, on the other hand - Darcy.
Only very occasionally.
I found it calmed my nerves.
Wasn't the only thing it did for you, was it? Darcy - When you were pregnant? No! Of course not! Of course, we didn't realise you were pregnant until - Darcy! So it's possible that you did when you were pregnant with me? I very highly doubt it.
- You're not sure? Well, if I did, it would have been a negligible amount.
So you did! - It was the '70s, Billie.
Bloody hell! - Excuse me.
You are not in a position to be lecturing me about a healthy youth.
Come on, Dad.
Get your stuff.
We're going.
Bloody hell! No, no, no, no, no, no, no I've never known him to smoke pot.
I thought he had some big nights in his 20s.
I didn't realise it was two decades in a Cheech and Chong movie.
Yes? We've got problems.
I've produced the goods but the truck's dead.
Where are you? I'm taking Dad to the cardiologist.
Just flag a cab.
Yeah, yeah.
It's not looking good.
Well, just run.
To Parkville? - Yeah, well, it's the next suburb! Look, I'm gonna take a second run at it, Billie.
Let's do it tomorrow.
No, they say you need to wait a couple of days to get a backlog of junk, so run.
Have you got me on speakerphone? I presume 'junk' is a euphemism for 'semen'.
Mick Holland, move your legs, in rapid motion, in the direction of Parkville.
Call me when you get there.
I'm wearing thongs! Mr Proudman.
Billie.
I'm so sorry.
I'll be 10 minutes.
Please.
- If you don't mind taking a seat.
- Sure.
There's some information here about, uh, healthy living, diet, cardiac fitness.
If you'd like to have a flip.
We waiting on Nina or is this? Uh, no, no.
This is the full complement.
Great.
Great.
Back in a tick.
Did you make it? Just give me one big wheeze if you made it.
Give a great back rub if you need it.
Oh I'm just I'm fine.
I'm just stretching.
- Um - Think.
Of stretches.
Think of standard stretches.
Hey, can I ask you a question? Kind of a bit personal.
Mmm.
Um, there's just one thing about obstetrics that's kind of worrying me.
Everyone I talk to, they keep warning me that it's gonna kill off my love life.
Oh, you mean looking at perineal tears all day? No, I mean, relationships, you know? It's just, most obstetricians I meet, they seem kind of single.
I mean, I look at someone like Dr.
Clegg, right Oh, I wouldn't base anything on Dr.
Clegg.
Well, I look at someone like you.
I mean, you are beautiful, you're crazy-smart.
You can pretty much have anyone you wanted.
Don't you ever wish that you'd maybe chosen something a bit saner? Yeah.
Sometimes.
And then something will happen at work - a moment and I'll remember why I do what I do.
Do you ever worry about maybe not having kids or not getting married? Sorry, that's a bit - Oh, no, that's fine.
I actually, um I have l have been married.
Really? Mmm.
Didn't work out.
Obviously.
I didn't know.
Um, I know about the paediatrician.
Oh Zara told me.
Uh, well, Kim and Zara, actually.
They kind of re-enacted it.
Love-struck loopy-la-la.
Crashing into things.
Sexy time, sexy time.
Phone ringing.
Reverse, reverse.
Crunch! Repression, repression.
Goodbye.
Mmm.
Well, there there were a lot of factors with that one.
I totally get the appeal of hooking up with someone from work.
Yeah, I just I just think that can bring up a whole other set of problems.
Yeah.
What if you were, like, smarter about it? You know, if you laid down some really clear ground rules? That sounds like a pick-up line.
Uh I found that that those relationships are a bit of a moosh in the end.
Define 'moosh' for me, boss.
Hi.
Dr.
Proudman speaking.
Stop everything.
Call off the dogs.
I have found your future husband.
You remember Dad's heart man? He's obsessed with you.
He's the male version of you I've arranged everything.
You've got a date tomorrow night, so start picking out fits.
I'm thinking no scarves, tits out.
Meet you at yours.
Love you.
Bye.
Bye.
OK.
My suggestion is the black.
But you could also go the purple.
Just whatever you do, don't Nina it up with vests or scarves or any weird layering business.
How are your roots? Yeah, acceptable.
Hello, Billie.
So, 7pm, St.
Jude's, tomorrow night.
But Mick and I will be there too, so just don't Oh, no, no.
I'm on call tomorrow.
- Neens, the man has owls.
What? - It was the first sign.
Not literal owls.
Like, a decorative owl, right behind where he sits.
Then he's doing the check-up and I notice he's asking all these questions about the family, but, like, detailed questions.
So there's Billie, then Nina, then Mick? Uh, no.
Mick's the shoeless son-in-law.
Then there's Jimmy.
- Right.
Then grandchildren? I'm thinking, "What do you want? A Venn diagram or something?" After a while, I realise he's sussing out if you're single.
The man is on game.
Oh, OK, I think you're reading far too much into this.
No, trust me, I know, OK? So I imply, you know, very subtly, that you're unattached.
Uh, no grandchildren.
No.
No.
I'm I'm getting there.
Jimmy's years off and Nina's on the shelf.
Oh, right.
Yep.
Then the killer.
Saying goodbye, I say very casually, you know, "My partner and I are having dinner tomorrow night "with Nina.
" And I know that she was disappointed that she couldn't be here today, so, you know, if you're not doing anything Oh.
Oh.
Ow Let's just break down that reaction.
He gets flummoxed, shifts weight, crashes into the doorknob, then immediately accepts, using way too many words.
Yes.
I mean, that would be, uh Absolutely.
Billie, the last time you said someone was obsessed with me was Lionel the tile man.
Yeah, he was obsessed with you.
He wanted me to invest in his online psychic network.
Trust me on this one, OK? St.
Jude's, 7pm, black dress, boobs up.
Yeah.
Darcy, what are you gonna do with the apartment now you're here at Geraldine's? Oh.
Nothing, really.
Just means you'll have more space.
We'll still split the rent, of course.
Seems a waste.
Oh, no.
It's Ray's home.
I'll get you the bear.
Oh, look.
Did you want the bear? Sam's keen for me to move in with him.
Oh.
Me and Ray.
Oh.
We'd share him, of course - half at Sam's, half here.
Yeah.
Is that, um I mean, would you like that? Oh, he loves being at Sam's.
He's got a big yard.
Two dogs.
Chooks.
He's got chooks.
Right.
Where is it? Oh.
Only Coburg.
He's got a chook pen.
Ray loves them.
If you think it's too difficult or hard for Ray No, no, no.
Look No, I I think it could be tremendous.
Really? Yeah.
Two homes - one with you and Sam and the chooks and one here.
Geraldine and I will have a toddler in the house again.
Hello, sailor.
The swimmers are in.
They'll call in a couple of days.
We're having dinner tomorrow night with Nina's future husband.
What? Aww! Hey, just 'cause you're not a runner, doesn't mean you're not fit.
Yeah, there are many many areas of fitness.
Mick! - Oh! Ah! Put me Don't.
I'm doing it, I'm doing it.
Don't attempt the stairs! - Oh! Mick, you're insane.
We're gonna die.
Oh! Heavy.
I usually say something like, "Contractions are more likely to start "if you're in a comfortable environment.
" That is genius.
- Hmm.
It's really the only thing that works.
Nina! - Oh! Hi.
I just got off the phone with your sister.
Ah.
- Yeah.
She rang to offer me a free house evaluation.
I'm not selling or anything.
But, yeah.
Very generous.
Yes.
Oh, hey.
I'm Fraser.
- Oh, sorry.
Fraser This is my registrar, Fraser our registrar of obstetrics.
Um, Ben is a cardiologist.
Oh Well, don't let us keep you.
No, I was heading back to work as well.
Oh.
Say something, Nina.
Say something.
End the silence.
So, I believe we're, um dining together tonight.
Yes.
Are we? I I believe so.
That'll be good.
- Hmm.
Follow-up.
Follow-up question.
Right now.
Do you typically w walk to work? Thought you didn't recommend workplace dating, boss.
Oh.
Oh, well, it's not a date.
He's my father's cardiologist, and it's with my sister.
She's organised it.
- Oh.
OK, a couple have presented to emergency in advanced labour.
No medical details, no referrals.
And this does happen occasionally, so pay attention.
And Ben's not from my workplace.
He may work in the same building but we have zero professional contact, so So it could be a date.
Oh, how are they going? Labour's fine.
Contractions are five minutes apart.
But, um there's something with the couple.
They're hardly speaking and when she was changing into her gown, I noticed she had bruises.
Pretty severe bruises on her back, rib cage.
I didn't want to ask about them 'cause her husband's just there, so No.
No.
Of course not.
No.
What do we do? Well, our first priority is to deliver a healthy baby, so, for now, we focus on that.
- And this is your first baby? - It is.
Is there anyone you've been seeing during the pregnancy? A doctor? A midwife? It's just that if there's anything I need to know about the pregnancy The pregnancy's been normal.
OK, well, we'll just start with some standard tests and see where we are.
That's it, Kate.
Hold on to my hand.
Deep breaths.
Nice and slowly.
That's great.
Hello.
Mr.
Holland? Yes? Hello.
It's Dr.
Simie here from Northern Fertility.
Hi.
We were hoping to make a time for you to come in and discuss your sperm sample.
OK.
Uh just me or me and Billie or? Whichever you'd prefer.
It might be good to speak to you individually at first.
Is everything OK? We'd prefer to discuss it in person.
Boss.
I saw them, the bruises, through the back of her gown.
They're bad.
They're really bad.
So we'd better call in the social worker, right? No, we can't do that yet.
What? Well, before anyone can do anything, Kate would have to acknowledge that the bruises have been inflicted Yeah, but she's not gonna say anything.
I haven't finished yet.
So, we're gonna wait for the husband to leave the room, then you and I are gonna leave.
I think Cherie should gently ask her about it.
Cherie? - Yes.
Cherie's spent the most time with Kate and she's far more likely to open up to her than to you or me or anybody else.
Fraser, we don't have time to break this down at the moment.
It's what I've chosen to do.
I got her to speak, but she said she was getting out of the bath and hit her back on the taps.
Hi.
Kate, you know you're in a safe place, don't you? We're all here for you.
There are teams of people here for you.
II'm here for you, if if you need any kind of help.
I just want to have this baby.
We need to prep for an epidural.
What? That's it? We can't act on speculation, Fraser.
But it's more than speculation.
She's got bruises all over her back.
Is everything alright? You tell me, mate.
- What? You tell - It's OK.
Go and do some rounds or something.
Have a break.
You're no longer part of the delivery.
We're gonna give Kate some pain relief.
She doing well but she's got a way to go yet.
Thanks for the lift.
Sorry.
Again.
Fraser.
I understand the feeling of I understand the feeling of wishing you could do more.
But I guess that's one of the tougher aspects of our job.
You can't always.
Yeah.
That was convincing.
What would you have done? I don't know.
No.
Seriously.
Let's talk it through.
II don't know.
Our job is to deliver the baby Yeah, deliver the baby.
Yeah, I get that.
I didn't know we also had to protect wife-bashers.
Fuck I'm sorry.
I'm I'm sorry.
- It's OK.
That was a really shitty thing to say.
I I'm not angry at you.
I'm just l have all respect for you, you know? You must know that.
It's just sometimes I get really worked up because Oooh.
Oooh.
OK.
OK, um It's it's been a really big day and we're both tired.
You knocked me out the first second I saw you and every day, it just gets more and more intense.
OK.
Mmm I've got a date.
Well, I thought it wasn't a date.
- It's a date.
With your dad's cardiologist? - He has he has owls.
It's - What? Wait.
How are we leaving things? Come on - best choice, Nina.
Best choice.
I'll see you I'll see you at work.
I'm late, I'm starving, I need a shower Billie! Why aren't you changed? Please tell me that's not your outfit selection.
I got called into the fertility place.
Got my results.
- And? We got problems.
Well, I do.
I do.
Oh.
OK.
No Billie.
Interesting.
Hi.
Sorry I'm late.
- No, it's it's fine.
Hi.
You look lovely.
- Thanks.
You do too.
How are you? I had one of my toughest patient situations I can remember and my registrar pashed me and I don't know what I think about it.
I'm good.
I'm really good.
Can I get you guys a drink? Oh, um, could I get a vodka and just a vodka No, a vodka tonic, please.
Long day.
Can I actually have a lemon, lime and bitters, thanks? Oh - Oh, no, I'm on call.
I can't.
I'd love to.
- And I'm an alcoholic, clearly.
He reminds me of me, when I like someone.
Hey, thanks so much for all your wonderful care of Dad.
He's really doing so well.
Oh, no.
Thank YOU.
For, um Just OK.
No, actually I don't actually know where that sentence was going, but thank you.
Just a non-specific thank you.
He is me, when I like someone.
It's like I go into this zone and I'm totally coordinated and precise.
Same, when I'm delivering babies.
And yet, outside of the operating theatre I don't know what it is.
- I know.
I stubbed my toe on the way here tonight I couldn't even tell you what on.
It was a perfectly even patch of concrete.
I already dragged my sleeve through the olive oil.
Oh.
Yeah, I just need to find a way of taking that professional togetherness and So are we still waiting on other guests? Um OK, so, you're half an hour late now.
Is this some kind of matchmaking strategy? Oh, and just so you know, there's a chance that tonight might not be a total disaster, but even if it is ragingly successful, your strategy gets no credit.
None at all.
Where are you?! I'm at home.
I can't stop thinking about you.
Can you come over? Oh Hi.
Um, remember from the hospital, this is my partner, Mick.
Mick, Ben.
Yeah, yeah, heart attack.
- Of course.
Yeah, yeah.
Just delete the message I left on your phone.
No, you are not just a gardener.
Why do you answer that way? - Because it's accurate.
He's actually a musician.
He's a very talented musician.
Maybe we should order.
What do you play? - Keyboards.
And guitar and drums.
And he has an incredible voice.
Hello.
Hello Oh, God.
Well, gardening and music are meant to be great for the heart.
Really? - Yeah.
Great stress relief.
You ought to be the picture of health.
Well, yippee.
Oh, Billie.
Are you alright? So, Ben, do you have any plans? We should just go for a walk - I'm fine.
We we were thinking of going to the stencil festival this weekend, featuring emerging and established stencil artists.
Stencils? We just found out I've got dud sperm.
Mick! - What's the point of keeping it? You don't have to broadcast it.
What do you mean "dud sperm"? I don't think we should talk about it.
I smoked a shitload of pot and apparently I cooked them.
They didn't say that.
They said it could be genetic.
It it could be anything.
You don't know.
They won't swim.
We've got to do IVF.
We have to take one of them and inject it into her egg.
Oh.
.
You shouldn't have come out.
- That's exactly what I said.
Oh, well, I'm sorry for trying to help your life.
OK, let's just go and get a breath of fresh air.
And I told you not to wear those accessories.
It was great how it was.
It was simple and sexy.
Oh! Shh.
I've gotta do the whole thing and get pumped full of hormones and then they've gotta harvest me! Shh.
- They're gonna harvest my eggs! OK.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Look, I'm on call.
I'm sorry, Billie.
Just Hi, Zara.
New patient's come in.
Contractions are at five minutes.
Uh What? Oh.
Nina? Are you OK? - Yeah.
I'll be there in half an hour.
How dilated is she? I'm really sorry about all this.
Oh, no, it's fine.
I remember this sort of thing from my obstetrics rotations back in the day.
Is this why you went with cardiology? Oh, I remember a lecturer saying, "The best part about cardiology "your patients are unconscious when you work on them.
" Solved.
Ah.
So how long do you think you'll stick with it? Sorry? Uh, obstetrics.
Well, don't most obstetricians segue into something a little calmer after a while? Oh.
Oh, I have no plans to.
Oh, really? No.
Sorry, I didn't mean moving out of the whole FIELD of obstetrics.
But surely you get sick of all the screaming, hysterical women.
"Screaming, hysterical women"? Not yet.
Oh.
Well I had two abortions.
At 17 and 19.
I don't think about them very much.
I don't know that I could've done anything else.
But I've always had this fear that some day, someone would say, "You can't get pregnant.
" Had dreams about it, even.
This is why I was so worked up about the tests.
Billie if this is a deal-breaker No.
My point is we both have pasts.
And I love you.
I'd love to catch up again, see if we can get a night without a birth or a family crisis.
That counts out most nights for me.
I sympathise on the family front.
I have a bipolar brother, an alcoholic father and a mum who was a 1970s bikini model.
Really? Yeah, that's why I limit them strictly Yeah, Christmas, Easter, Mum's birthday - that's it.
Three days per annum - plenty.
So? Do you know when you're free? This man is charming, rich, interested.
But he's dismissive of obstetrics.
And he doesn't like crazy families.
I might have to let you know.
Of course.
Thank you.
"Hi, Ben.
Thank you for the almost-dinner.
"So great to meet you properly.
"And thank you for everything you've done for Dad.
"Turns out I'm actually pretty busy for the foreseeable future.
" It's Becky Hemshaw.
39 weeks.
"All the usual chaos "screaming mothers, family meltdowns, "Babies needing to be born.
"
That's the cardiologist.
Um, I'm Darcy, Darcy Proudman's daughter.
Yes, good to meet you - You too - I've been Darcy's had another heart attack.
Geraldine, will you re-kindle our marriage? With the renewal of vows? Bugger it! Why not? Yes! Oh, thanks.
You're welcome.
Are you Nina Proudman? Fraser King, first year obstetrics registrer.
Hands up and gently release the legs.
Look life is short.
Mick! Let's make a baby now! Yes! I was thinking the same thing! Mick and Billy are making a baby! It must have been summer holidays.
I remember I was wearing pink sandals.
I remember my sister was bored.
And I remember being worried.
Mum didn't look sick.
And in the movies, when people went to the doctor not looking sick, it meant something bad.
You're going to die, Mrs Proudman.
Very soon.
Like Snow White's mother? Just like Snow White's mother.
Girls.
Your mother would like you to come in.
Billie, come and listen to this.
Do you know what that is? I want to go to Roller City.
Nina.
Heartbeat.
That's right.
You're gonna get a little baby brother or sister.
And that was it.
I didn't even know the word 'obstetrician'.
We called him "the baby doctor".
Sorry.
Oh, gosh.
Sorry.
You're sweating.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Just aerate.
Aerate.
I know.
Jacket off.
Um, just so you know, in the consultation, they might ask how long we've been trying.
Let me do the talking in that bit.
OK.
I told them we've been trying for six months.
What? Billie, we've been trying for two weeks.
It was the only way I could get an appointment.
She's meant to be the god of all fertility specialists, Mick.
You're unbelievable.
You're still sweating.
Why are you sweating? Oh No, you'll be fine.
Just walk in, introduce yourself.
All confidence.
Ms.
Ennin or Mel? I'd just say Mel.
Oh, and, Fraser, I always try and stay mindful that you are stepping into the biggest day of their lives.
Hi, Mel.
My name's Fraser King.
- How you feeling? - Yeah, OK so far.
Uh, we've usually tried mornings and I take my temperature every day, just to make sure that, you know, we're in the right zone.
Mm-hm.
And you started doing that? Uh, in August last year.
It's likely everything's fine.
Six months is not unusual.
But let's just cover a few lifestyle questions just in case.
Would you say that both of you are reasonably fit? Well, I run.
Mm-hm.
Regularly? II don't follow a schedule or anything but just, you know, when I get a strong urge, I just run, usually until it gets dark or l don't know where I am anymore.
Mm-hm.
Mick? Well, I don't have, like, a regime or anything Yeah, but your work is quite physical, honey.
Yeah, his work is it's quite physical.
I do gardening part-time.
It's it's really just lifting stuff, so No exercise apart from that? No.
Just the lifting of stuff.
Are either of you on any prescription medication? No.
- Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
I broke my wrists last year so I'm on anti-inflammatories.
Mm-hm.
Do either of you smoke? No.
Unless you count joints.
That's hardly ever.
Yeah, it's, like it's hardly ever.
These days.
Did you smoke heavily in the past? Pre Pretty heavily.
Yeah.
But I calmed it right back when I turned 30, so And how long had you been smoking prior to that? Uh I started in Year 9, so what's that? So, what, 16 years? It's not, like, 16 years.
Year 9, 10, 11 Oh Yeah.
Yeah, 16 years.
OK.
Well, it might be worth completing a semen analysis.
It rules out a lot of invasive tests for the woman often.
Um, if we could arrange a time We can do that today.
Good.
Oooh.
It's OK, Mel.
It's OK.
We're just gonna move you to the side.
You're doing really great, Mel.
You're doing really great.
OK, just take a big old suck of this gas.
There you go, darling.
Breathe.
OK.
Give it a minute in this position.
If it's cord compression, the heart rate will go right back up.
That's it.
That's the way.
Breathe.
OK, Mel, I'm very sorry, but we're gonna need to do a caesarean.
I promise you, Mel, in 15 minutes, you're gonna be looking at a healthy baby.
He's very enthusiastic.
Fraser.
Yeah.
You know, I thought it'd be a huge distraction, having a student.
It's actually really helpful.
Something about having him there, knowing he's watching.
I don't know.
I just make better choices or something.
Oh, trans fats and salt - why do you call to me? Is this really such a bad choice? I mean, there are vegetables here, and the body does need carbohydrates.
Yes.
Wrong choice, Nina.
Morning.
Boss! Hey! Oh, hi.
I've got to tell you, last night I went over the McAllister case um, broke it down on a spreadsheet.
Amazing - seeing all your decisions laid out like that.
It's rock-solid.
- Oh, thanks.
Yeah.
I'll forward it to you, yeah? - OK.
Hi.
- Hi.
Could he be any more desperate to get into your pants? What? Excuse me.
Ubersuck.
He's just dedicated to his professional development.
Right.
Just You know, that gesture doesn't even make sense.
It's metaphorical.
Who's the cheek? - He's the cheek.
That makes even less sense.
I think if you're gonna be accurate, it's Boss! Oh! I'm coming.
"Coming.
" Yeah.
Done? - You just left 15 minutes ago.
You don't have to chat yourself up.
You just get on with it.
Micky! A proposal.
It's not a good time, Jimmy.
Have you ever dreamt of a life with all your household chores taken care of? All your cooking? And hairstyling? And hot-stone massage? Is this about you moving in? You can't move in! Moving in is just one part of the tapestry I'm proposing.
Bad time, Jimmy.
Time is one thing you would have a lot more of! Look, it's 10 minutes down the road, it's got a huge yard No-one's denying it's a great place, Sam.
It's now what it's about.
- What's it about, then? It's about Darcy being OK with his son living in another man's house.
But I'm not - Just after he's had a heart attack.
No, but Nina said he's doing really well.
Sam, please Didn't you say before that he's better than ever? Can we just drop it? Sorry.
- That's fine.
Anyway, let's talk about Fraser.
There were some major love-eyes happening this morning.
What? Oh, why is everyone so obsessed with this? No-one's obsessed.
He was witnessing a twin caesarean.
Yeah.
With love-eyes.
- Who's Fraser? My registrar.
- A young casanova.
Anyway, back to Dad.
- No, I want to talk about this now.
There's nothing nothing to hear about, Sam.
He's he's my registrar.
And he was not making love-eyes.
He's just he's interested in me professionally, my processes.
Oh.
You do seem kind of worked up about it.
Anyway, Sam's right.
Dad will be fine.
I think you should tell him tonight.
What do I say? I don't know.
Just tell him OK.
Critical Proudman situation here.
Focus.
Oh Just tell him the obvious thing.
Dad! You ready? Oh, thank God.
You alright? - Oh, Billie I haven't spent this much unbroken time with your father since the mid-'90s.
It's inhumane.
Hey, Billie.
Billie, I'm gonna make a suggestion.
Now, do not be affected by your mother's reaction.
What? The recommitment ceremony, for your mother and me now, what if we don't have any speeches, we don't have any vows, none of that, but instead, we all just sing? All of us.
Together.
As a family.
We sing seven songs covering the history of the marriage.
What songs? I'm calling the first one 'Desert Heat Downtown'.
Dad, were you a heavy pot smoker when you were young? What? - Marijuana.
Were you into it? Oh, no.
Not really.
No.
It made me woozy.
Why? - You weren't? No.
Your mother, on the other hand - Darcy.
Only very occasionally.
I found it calmed my nerves.
Wasn't the only thing it did for you, was it? Darcy - When you were pregnant? No! Of course not! Of course, we didn't realise you were pregnant until - Darcy! So it's possible that you did when you were pregnant with me? I very highly doubt it.
- You're not sure? Well, if I did, it would have been a negligible amount.
So you did! - It was the '70s, Billie.
Bloody hell! - Excuse me.
You are not in a position to be lecturing me about a healthy youth.
Come on, Dad.
Get your stuff.
We're going.
Bloody hell! No, no, no, no, no, no, no I've never known him to smoke pot.
I thought he had some big nights in his 20s.
I didn't realise it was two decades in a Cheech and Chong movie.
Yes? We've got problems.
I've produced the goods but the truck's dead.
Where are you? I'm taking Dad to the cardiologist.
Just flag a cab.
Yeah, yeah.
It's not looking good.
Well, just run.
To Parkville? - Yeah, well, it's the next suburb! Look, I'm gonna take a second run at it, Billie.
Let's do it tomorrow.
No, they say you need to wait a couple of days to get a backlog of junk, so run.
Have you got me on speakerphone? I presume 'junk' is a euphemism for 'semen'.
Mick Holland, move your legs, in rapid motion, in the direction of Parkville.
Call me when you get there.
I'm wearing thongs! Mr Proudman.
Billie.
I'm so sorry.
I'll be 10 minutes.
Please.
- If you don't mind taking a seat.
- Sure.
There's some information here about, uh, healthy living, diet, cardiac fitness.
If you'd like to have a flip.
We waiting on Nina or is this? Uh, no, no.
This is the full complement.
Great.
Great.
Back in a tick.
Did you make it? Just give me one big wheeze if you made it.
Give a great back rub if you need it.
Oh I'm just I'm fine.
I'm just stretching.
- Um - Think.
Of stretches.
Think of standard stretches.
Hey, can I ask you a question? Kind of a bit personal.
Mmm.
Um, there's just one thing about obstetrics that's kind of worrying me.
Everyone I talk to, they keep warning me that it's gonna kill off my love life.
Oh, you mean looking at perineal tears all day? No, I mean, relationships, you know? It's just, most obstetricians I meet, they seem kind of single.
I mean, I look at someone like Dr.
Clegg, right Oh, I wouldn't base anything on Dr.
Clegg.
Well, I look at someone like you.
I mean, you are beautiful, you're crazy-smart.
You can pretty much have anyone you wanted.
Don't you ever wish that you'd maybe chosen something a bit saner? Yeah.
Sometimes.
And then something will happen at work - a moment and I'll remember why I do what I do.
Do you ever worry about maybe not having kids or not getting married? Sorry, that's a bit - Oh, no, that's fine.
I actually, um I have l have been married.
Really? Mmm.
Didn't work out.
Obviously.
I didn't know.
Um, I know about the paediatrician.
Oh Zara told me.
Uh, well, Kim and Zara, actually.
They kind of re-enacted it.
Love-struck loopy-la-la.
Crashing into things.
Sexy time, sexy time.
Phone ringing.
Reverse, reverse.
Crunch! Repression, repression.
Goodbye.
Mmm.
Well, there there were a lot of factors with that one.
I totally get the appeal of hooking up with someone from work.
Yeah, I just I just think that can bring up a whole other set of problems.
Yeah.
What if you were, like, smarter about it? You know, if you laid down some really clear ground rules? That sounds like a pick-up line.
Uh I found that that those relationships are a bit of a moosh in the end.
Define 'moosh' for me, boss.
Hi.
Dr.
Proudman speaking.
Stop everything.
Call off the dogs.
I have found your future husband.
You remember Dad's heart man? He's obsessed with you.
He's the male version of you I've arranged everything.
You've got a date tomorrow night, so start picking out fits.
I'm thinking no scarves, tits out.
Meet you at yours.
Love you.
Bye.
Bye.
OK.
My suggestion is the black.
But you could also go the purple.
Just whatever you do, don't Nina it up with vests or scarves or any weird layering business.
How are your roots? Yeah, acceptable.
Hello, Billie.
So, 7pm, St.
Jude's, tomorrow night.
But Mick and I will be there too, so just don't Oh, no, no.
I'm on call tomorrow.
- Neens, the man has owls.
What? - It was the first sign.
Not literal owls.
Like, a decorative owl, right behind where he sits.
Then he's doing the check-up and I notice he's asking all these questions about the family, but, like, detailed questions.
So there's Billie, then Nina, then Mick? Uh, no.
Mick's the shoeless son-in-law.
Then there's Jimmy.
- Right.
Then grandchildren? I'm thinking, "What do you want? A Venn diagram or something?" After a while, I realise he's sussing out if you're single.
The man is on game.
Oh, OK, I think you're reading far too much into this.
No, trust me, I know, OK? So I imply, you know, very subtly, that you're unattached.
Uh, no grandchildren.
No.
No.
I'm I'm getting there.
Jimmy's years off and Nina's on the shelf.
Oh, right.
Yep.
Then the killer.
Saying goodbye, I say very casually, you know, "My partner and I are having dinner tomorrow night "with Nina.
" And I know that she was disappointed that she couldn't be here today, so, you know, if you're not doing anything Oh.
Oh.
Ow Let's just break down that reaction.
He gets flummoxed, shifts weight, crashes into the doorknob, then immediately accepts, using way too many words.
Yes.
I mean, that would be, uh Absolutely.
Billie, the last time you said someone was obsessed with me was Lionel the tile man.
Yeah, he was obsessed with you.
He wanted me to invest in his online psychic network.
Trust me on this one, OK? St.
Jude's, 7pm, black dress, boobs up.
Yeah.
Darcy, what are you gonna do with the apartment now you're here at Geraldine's? Oh.
Nothing, really.
Just means you'll have more space.
We'll still split the rent, of course.
Seems a waste.
Oh, no.
It's Ray's home.
I'll get you the bear.
Oh, look.
Did you want the bear? Sam's keen for me to move in with him.
Oh.
Me and Ray.
Oh.
We'd share him, of course - half at Sam's, half here.
Yeah.
Is that, um I mean, would you like that? Oh, he loves being at Sam's.
He's got a big yard.
Two dogs.
Chooks.
He's got chooks.
Right.
Where is it? Oh.
Only Coburg.
He's got a chook pen.
Ray loves them.
If you think it's too difficult or hard for Ray No, no, no.
Look No, I I think it could be tremendous.
Really? Yeah.
Two homes - one with you and Sam and the chooks and one here.
Geraldine and I will have a toddler in the house again.
Hello, sailor.
The swimmers are in.
They'll call in a couple of days.
We're having dinner tomorrow night with Nina's future husband.
What? Aww! Hey, just 'cause you're not a runner, doesn't mean you're not fit.
Yeah, there are many many areas of fitness.
Mick! - Oh! Ah! Put me Don't.
I'm doing it, I'm doing it.
Don't attempt the stairs! - Oh! Mick, you're insane.
We're gonna die.
Oh! Heavy.
I usually say something like, "Contractions are more likely to start "if you're in a comfortable environment.
" That is genius.
- Hmm.
It's really the only thing that works.
Nina! - Oh! Hi.
I just got off the phone with your sister.
Ah.
- Yeah.
She rang to offer me a free house evaluation.
I'm not selling or anything.
But, yeah.
Very generous.
Yes.
Oh, hey.
I'm Fraser.
- Oh, sorry.
Fraser This is my registrar, Fraser our registrar of obstetrics.
Um, Ben is a cardiologist.
Oh Well, don't let us keep you.
No, I was heading back to work as well.
Oh.
Say something, Nina.
Say something.
End the silence.
So, I believe we're, um dining together tonight.
Yes.
Are we? I I believe so.
That'll be good.
- Hmm.
Follow-up.
Follow-up question.
Right now.
Do you typically w walk to work? Thought you didn't recommend workplace dating, boss.
Oh.
Oh, well, it's not a date.
He's my father's cardiologist, and it's with my sister.
She's organised it.
- Oh.
OK, a couple have presented to emergency in advanced labour.
No medical details, no referrals.
And this does happen occasionally, so pay attention.
And Ben's not from my workplace.
He may work in the same building but we have zero professional contact, so So it could be a date.
Oh, how are they going? Labour's fine.
Contractions are five minutes apart.
But, um there's something with the couple.
They're hardly speaking and when she was changing into her gown, I noticed she had bruises.
Pretty severe bruises on her back, rib cage.
I didn't want to ask about them 'cause her husband's just there, so No.
No.
Of course not.
No.
What do we do? Well, our first priority is to deliver a healthy baby, so, for now, we focus on that.
- And this is your first baby? - It is.
Is there anyone you've been seeing during the pregnancy? A doctor? A midwife? It's just that if there's anything I need to know about the pregnancy The pregnancy's been normal.
OK, well, we'll just start with some standard tests and see where we are.
That's it, Kate.
Hold on to my hand.
Deep breaths.
Nice and slowly.
That's great.
Hello.
Mr.
Holland? Yes? Hello.
It's Dr.
Simie here from Northern Fertility.
Hi.
We were hoping to make a time for you to come in and discuss your sperm sample.
OK.
Uh just me or me and Billie or? Whichever you'd prefer.
It might be good to speak to you individually at first.
Is everything OK? We'd prefer to discuss it in person.
Boss.
I saw them, the bruises, through the back of her gown.
They're bad.
They're really bad.
So we'd better call in the social worker, right? No, we can't do that yet.
What? Well, before anyone can do anything, Kate would have to acknowledge that the bruises have been inflicted Yeah, but she's not gonna say anything.
I haven't finished yet.
So, we're gonna wait for the husband to leave the room, then you and I are gonna leave.
I think Cherie should gently ask her about it.
Cherie? - Yes.
Cherie's spent the most time with Kate and she's far more likely to open up to her than to you or me or anybody else.
Fraser, we don't have time to break this down at the moment.
It's what I've chosen to do.
I got her to speak, but she said she was getting out of the bath and hit her back on the taps.
Hi.
Kate, you know you're in a safe place, don't you? We're all here for you.
There are teams of people here for you.
II'm here for you, if if you need any kind of help.
I just want to have this baby.
We need to prep for an epidural.
What? That's it? We can't act on speculation, Fraser.
But it's more than speculation.
She's got bruises all over her back.
Is everything alright? You tell me, mate.
- What? You tell - It's OK.
Go and do some rounds or something.
Have a break.
You're no longer part of the delivery.
We're gonna give Kate some pain relief.
She doing well but she's got a way to go yet.
Thanks for the lift.
Sorry.
Again.
Fraser.
I understand the feeling of I understand the feeling of wishing you could do more.
But I guess that's one of the tougher aspects of our job.
You can't always.
Yeah.
That was convincing.
What would you have done? I don't know.
No.
Seriously.
Let's talk it through.
II don't know.
Our job is to deliver the baby Yeah, deliver the baby.
Yeah, I get that.
I didn't know we also had to protect wife-bashers.
Fuck I'm sorry.
I'm I'm sorry.
- It's OK.
That was a really shitty thing to say.
I I'm not angry at you.
I'm just l have all respect for you, you know? You must know that.
It's just sometimes I get really worked up because Oooh.
Oooh.
OK.
OK, um It's it's been a really big day and we're both tired.
You knocked me out the first second I saw you and every day, it just gets more and more intense.
OK.
Mmm I've got a date.
Well, I thought it wasn't a date.
- It's a date.
With your dad's cardiologist? - He has he has owls.
It's - What? Wait.
How are we leaving things? Come on - best choice, Nina.
Best choice.
I'll see you I'll see you at work.
I'm late, I'm starving, I need a shower Billie! Why aren't you changed? Please tell me that's not your outfit selection.
I got called into the fertility place.
Got my results.
- And? We got problems.
Well, I do.
I do.
Oh.
OK.
No Billie.
Interesting.
Hi.
Sorry I'm late.
- No, it's it's fine.
Hi.
You look lovely.
- Thanks.
You do too.
How are you? I had one of my toughest patient situations I can remember and my registrar pashed me and I don't know what I think about it.
I'm good.
I'm really good.
Can I get you guys a drink? Oh, um, could I get a vodka and just a vodka No, a vodka tonic, please.
Long day.
Can I actually have a lemon, lime and bitters, thanks? Oh - Oh, no, I'm on call.
I can't.
I'd love to.
- And I'm an alcoholic, clearly.
He reminds me of me, when I like someone.
Hey, thanks so much for all your wonderful care of Dad.
He's really doing so well.
Oh, no.
Thank YOU.
For, um Just OK.
No, actually I don't actually know where that sentence was going, but thank you.
Just a non-specific thank you.
He is me, when I like someone.
It's like I go into this zone and I'm totally coordinated and precise.
Same, when I'm delivering babies.
And yet, outside of the operating theatre I don't know what it is.
- I know.
I stubbed my toe on the way here tonight I couldn't even tell you what on.
It was a perfectly even patch of concrete.
I already dragged my sleeve through the olive oil.
Oh.
Yeah, I just need to find a way of taking that professional togetherness and So are we still waiting on other guests? Um OK, so, you're half an hour late now.
Is this some kind of matchmaking strategy? Oh, and just so you know, there's a chance that tonight might not be a total disaster, but even if it is ragingly successful, your strategy gets no credit.
None at all.
Where are you?! I'm at home.
I can't stop thinking about you.
Can you come over? Oh Hi.
Um, remember from the hospital, this is my partner, Mick.
Mick, Ben.
Yeah, yeah, heart attack.
- Of course.
Yeah, yeah.
Just delete the message I left on your phone.
No, you are not just a gardener.
Why do you answer that way? - Because it's accurate.
He's actually a musician.
He's a very talented musician.
Maybe we should order.
What do you play? - Keyboards.
And guitar and drums.
And he has an incredible voice.
Hello.
Hello Oh, God.
Well, gardening and music are meant to be great for the heart.
Really? - Yeah.
Great stress relief.
You ought to be the picture of health.
Well, yippee.
Oh, Billie.
Are you alright? So, Ben, do you have any plans? We should just go for a walk - I'm fine.
We we were thinking of going to the stencil festival this weekend, featuring emerging and established stencil artists.
Stencils? We just found out I've got dud sperm.
Mick! - What's the point of keeping it? You don't have to broadcast it.
What do you mean "dud sperm"? I don't think we should talk about it.
I smoked a shitload of pot and apparently I cooked them.
They didn't say that.
They said it could be genetic.
It it could be anything.
You don't know.
They won't swim.
We've got to do IVF.
We have to take one of them and inject it into her egg.
Oh.
.
You shouldn't have come out.
- That's exactly what I said.
Oh, well, I'm sorry for trying to help your life.
OK, let's just go and get a breath of fresh air.
And I told you not to wear those accessories.
It was great how it was.
It was simple and sexy.
Oh! Shh.
I've gotta do the whole thing and get pumped full of hormones and then they've gotta harvest me! Shh.
- They're gonna harvest my eggs! OK.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Look, I'm on call.
I'm sorry, Billie.
Just Hi, Zara.
New patient's come in.
Contractions are at five minutes.
Uh What? Oh.
Nina? Are you OK? - Yeah.
I'll be there in half an hour.
How dilated is she? I'm really sorry about all this.
Oh, no, it's fine.
I remember this sort of thing from my obstetrics rotations back in the day.
Is this why you went with cardiology? Oh, I remember a lecturer saying, "The best part about cardiology "your patients are unconscious when you work on them.
" Solved.
Ah.
So how long do you think you'll stick with it? Sorry? Uh, obstetrics.
Well, don't most obstetricians segue into something a little calmer after a while? Oh.
Oh, I have no plans to.
Oh, really? No.
Sorry, I didn't mean moving out of the whole FIELD of obstetrics.
But surely you get sick of all the screaming, hysterical women.
"Screaming, hysterical women"? Not yet.
Oh.
Well I had two abortions.
At 17 and 19.
I don't think about them very much.
I don't know that I could've done anything else.
But I've always had this fear that some day, someone would say, "You can't get pregnant.
" Had dreams about it, even.
This is why I was so worked up about the tests.
Billie if this is a deal-breaker No.
My point is we both have pasts.
And I love you.
I'd love to catch up again, see if we can get a night without a birth or a family crisis.
That counts out most nights for me.
I sympathise on the family front.
I have a bipolar brother, an alcoholic father and a mum who was a 1970s bikini model.
Really? Yeah, that's why I limit them strictly Yeah, Christmas, Easter, Mum's birthday - that's it.
Three days per annum - plenty.
So? Do you know when you're free? This man is charming, rich, interested.
But he's dismissive of obstetrics.
And he doesn't like crazy families.
I might have to let you know.
Of course.
Thank you.
"Hi, Ben.
Thank you for the almost-dinner.
"So great to meet you properly.
"And thank you for everything you've done for Dad.
"Turns out I'm actually pretty busy for the foreseeable future.
" It's Becky Hemshaw.
39 weeks.
"All the usual chaos "screaming mothers, family meltdowns, "Babies needing to be born.
"