Orange Is the New Black s07e11 Episode Script
God Bless America
1 Only thing you're gonna catch with those crumbs is a rat.
I'm not trying to catch it.
I'm trying to feed it.
Think Code Talker will mind if I put this here till she gets back? Assuming she gets back.
Ay, please.
She's in Medical, not dead.
Or they transferred her or deported her.
She wasn't deported.
They make you take your sheets off before you go.
519.
813.
You've got mail.
- 741.
You've got mail.
- Are you still on AOL? - They're moving my hearing up.
- Mine, too.
You've got mail.
431.
You've got mail.
- Shani, you didn't get one? - I ran out of hearings.
Air ICE is giving me a free flight to my fucking funeral.
Oh, Shani, I'm sorry.
I'm still waiting on a copy of my defense file.
How the hell am I gonna get my case tossed if I can't prove my shitty lawyer fucked up my conviction? How can I get my immigration case dismissed if I can't prove that my court-appointed attorney was negligent and affected the results of my criminal proceedings? You got this.
Any decent judge would throw it out.
"Decent" seems to be relative these days.
Try to be nice and you get shit on your head.
God bless America.
Isn't it great? It's a beauty, Ms.
Ferguson.
Thank you, Mr.
Litvack.
Like the inside of a cereal box minus the happy prize.
The happy prize is we don't have to keep busing detainees across the state every time they have a court appearance.
Exactly.
And now every detainee from Essex and Clinton counties get bused here.
Always looking out for the bottom line.
Aw.
Thank you.
I will admit that when we first won this contract, I was a bit daunted.
These hearings can be very controversial.
Plus the pressure to build something so fast.
But then Carlos here told me a very inspiring story about how the DHS built an entire prison in New Orleans the week after Katrina hit, and I thought, if they can build an entire prison in the middle of a flood, I can build a courtroom in the middle of a shitstorm.
Standards to live by.
I don't see judge's chambers anywhere.
Are you planning on them hanging out in the hall or does my office become a WeWork? Oh, the judges never leave the bench.
Yeah, they see at least 100 cases a day.
Maybe they wear those adult diapers like that lady astronaut, right? Although, I am working on setting up a teleconferencing line so the judges can do it all via webcam.
Speed us up by 32%.
And some people complain Skype sex feels impersonal.
Linds Ms.
Ferguson, why don't you sit in the judge's chair - and I'll take your picture? - No.
- Come on.
- I can't.
Yes, you can.
Please.
You.
All right.
Ooh, so satisfying.
Carlos, you be the bailiff.
- Do you mind taking our - Uh, no, I am out of here.
Hey, sorry to bust in.
We got a minor situation in Medical.
What happened to her? The patient presented with severe abdominal upset and vaginal spotting.
But, thankfully, the pregnancy is still viable.
She's pregnant? I'd say about nine weeks along.
- So, why is she still screaming? - She's scared, poor thing.
She doesn't know that her little oogie woogie's gonna be okay.
Mama, mama, your baby's gonna be okay.
Okay, your baby's gonna be okay.
Where is her translator? We don't have a translator for that.
You're supposed to file a report if a detainee needs the Language Line.
I have a new courtroom to oversee, so this sounds like a you problem to me.
I don't know why no one else wants to work in the ICE kitchen.
They scared they'll be deported or something? Oh, it's 'cause Mendoza ain't easy.
So, why you wanna do it? I'm trying to continue my journey of personal improvement.
Um, but you know what? Maybe I should make amends with my bunkie first, because she's mad at me 'cause I made her clean up whatever was leaking out of the toilet last night.
Too late.
We need kitchen crew.
You only brought one person? Can't you see our entire white contingent is MIA? Well, I always heard that one Latin works just as hard as three whites.
I know you mean that as a compliment, but I'm gonna take it as an insult.
I asked for Diaz, not Ruiz.
Big Diaz and Little Diaz both declined.
Wait, which one's which? It's a little confusing because the older one is smaller.
You're not getting a Diaz.
Well, I don't want a Ruiz neither.
Gloria, I know things have been really rough between us.
But I was hoping maybe maybe this might be a chance for us to, you know, reset the game.
Relationships are best mended by working together, you know? Fuck you.
- Here's my check.
- Okay.
And, um, I wanted to ask permission to go to a fundraiser.
My friend asked me to be her plus one.
And there will be alcohol there, of which I will not partake.
And it will probably interfere with my curfew, but it's for an important cause I'm not interested in the details of your date, but you can go.
It's not a date, but thank you very much for signing off.
Thank yourself.
I mean, your employment situation has been steady, your drug tests have been coming back clean, and looking at the clarity of your sample, you're living a healthy life.
- Mmm.
- You drinking alkaline water? I am.
I'm feeling great.
I even got back into running.
I feel like I'm finally living my truth.
Sorry, I know that's a cliché.
- But clichés are clichés for a reason.
- Yes.
Yes, they are.
They're really just catchy truths.
Do you know that squirrels' teeth never stop growing? Okay, so your probation is ending soon, and you might wanna try and figure out what you wanna do with the rest of your life.
Can you be more specific? Okay.
"Have you found a place of your own?" Not yet.
- No.
Okay.
- No.
"Have you cut ties with people involved with your past criminal activities?" Well, that one's tricky, given the marriage.
No.
Okay.
"Do you have career aspirations beyond your current employment?" - Yes, of course.
- All right, then, what are they? Well, I'm not sure exactly what they are yet, beyond aspirational.
No.
Mmm-hmm.
When do you need the answer to these questions? Oh.
They're They're not for me, okay? You have to find these answers for yourself.
Go.
And keep the door open for the next one, please.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
Sophia! Girl, I haven't seen you since the last time.
- You look amazing.
- And you look like the last time, but damp.
Ooh, um.
Give the woman your card, Ms.
Burset.
She has some fancy party and her hair needs an ambulance.
Trust.
All right, everybody out of your cells and up against the wall, now! - What's happening? - Random sweep.
What? Why wasn't I informed? 'Cause then it wouldn't be random.
Move your ass, inmate.
Move it.
You got anything on you? Don't worry.
Everything is buried within the shower pipes.
Except I got some buried in my cock pipe.
I didn't do it.
Went deep sea diving.
I caught me a hairy squid.
Motherfucker.
More like fuck your mother.
This is a lot.
Hm.
I told you it was a good tip.
I mean, look at all these pills.
Look at all that hair.
You could make yourself a toupee.
Huh? Not "you", you.
Just someone could.
Now, how the heck did somebody even sneak this in? Kind of looks like a lobster claw.
Which part's the tickle and which part's the plug? Hopper, Ginger, take all this to the contraband room and make sure it's itemized properly.
Of course.
And you're welcome.
Hey.
What do you know about this? - Me? Nothing.
I Nothing.
- Mmm-hmm.
I really need to know which one of these scrotum bros is bringing in all this stuff.
I wish I could tell you, I do.
I just I don't know.
I could really use some help.
Could you be my girl on the inside? Tell me if you see anything? - Of course.
I've got your back.
- Right.
Hey, Nicky.
Thanks for coming.
You got balls, I'll give you that.
- So, how's Lorna doing? - Oh, you know, bright and sprightly.
Look, I know Lorna is having a real hard time with all this, and so am I.
This is killing me.
But I gotta move on.
I was hoping maybe you could help her understand why she's gotta sign these divorce papers.
Oh, okay, so you asked me here to help you with your divorce? Jesus, Vinnie.
I can smell the rotting carcass of your soul - through the glass.
- Nicky You have a responsibility to her as her kid's father, and you can't just suddenly decide that you're moving and taking Sterling with you.
He means everything to her.
She has a right to see him.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, I don't know what Lorna told you, but Actually, I know exactly what she told you and that's the problem.
Nicky, the baby died in the NICU.
Eh, what do you mean? I I saw a picture of him yesterday where he's drooling 'cause he's teething, 'cause he's a very early teether.
She's taking other people's photos from the Internet.
It's not him.
Oh, shit.
Oh, Vinnie, I'm so sorry.
She's down the rabbit hole.
'Cause she can't process it.
She's gone someplace in her head, and I can't reach her.
The prison doc said that they're gonna transfer her to some unit with all the oldies and nutties, and maybe that's gonna help.
At least she'll have more supervision.
What? No, no, no, no, all right? She doesn't know anyone in Florida.
She shouldn't be in there.
She should be with me.
Nicky, I know that you love her, and I appreciate all you do for her, I do.
So, don't take this the wrong way, but you've been with her this entire time and you didn't know.
She needs more help than you or me can give her.
I've been distracted, yeah, but, uh, I'm here now.
And I understand, all right? You need to move on.
But I can't let her go when she needs me most.
You need to tell them not to transfer her.
It's not up to me.
And I think it's already a done deal.
I'm sorry.
My moms used to make us fish head soup before tests.
Said their brain cells make us smarter.
Fish brains? Come on.
When's the last time you thought to yourself, "Wow, there's a smart fish"? Finding Nemo? Yo, Taystee, you done yet? Damn, you acting like you waiting on some chili cheese fries.
Except for chili cheese fries can't tell you if you're dumb.
What do you mean, I failed? All right, B-plus! If I can get Luschek to bring in some fish head, I know I can ace this.
If I can give Luschek some head head, I know I can ace it, too.
You realize it's a machine that grades the tests? I know that.
I just think his sperm cells will make me smarter.
Congrats, Doggett.
You did good.
Wait, she passed? Give back my test.
You still got a bunch wrong, even with your extra dummy time.
- I'm not a dummy.
- Hey, y'all both are geniuses, okay? Now let's go over some of the basic algebra you messed up on.
My brain's gonna explode.
No one uses this shit anyhow.
Are you kidding me? You need this shit to live.
- Akers, when you getting out? - Two years.
Okay, so let's come up with a budget for when that day happens.
Let's say that you get a job the first week you get out, because you baller, right? But money also has to go out for probation fees, water, power, Internet, and you gotta eat.
- My kid's gotta eat, too.
- She got a mouth to feed.
- Shoes and shit, right? - Hmm.
And then, there is X.
X is the amount that you have left for rent.
X better be enough for a two bedroom.
I must've done it wrong 'cause I have negative 300.
I got the same thing.
That's because that's what it is.
I got positive 500.
But that's cause I'm trappin' to supplement my income.
Man, math is bullshit.
Maybe you could get a loan.
Ain't no bank gonna give a loan to an ex-con.
Get a community loan, like my mama did when our trailer was towed away.
Everyone pitched in and helped us pay.
They did? That's good.
That's what loans should be.
Except that ain't a loan.
That's a redneck Kickstarter.
No, it is too a loan, because Mama repaid it when John John's trailer burned down.
I mean, she might've sucked him off, I can't really remember, but either way, it was paid.
Tell her the big slot is for the pasta casserole.
The big slot is for I can hear you fine, Gloria, and whenever you're ready to talk to me You're running half an hour behind, Mendoza.
Third time this week.
I'm doing what I can when you don't bring me any volunteers.
Where is everybody? Nowhere good is my guess.
Well, well, so much for Saint Gloria, huh? She dealing Aleida's shit, or is that Daya's shit? That ain't got nothing to do with either of the Diazeses.
Please, I need to talk to Nicky.
Where is she? No clue.
I mean, I seen her in prison, so I know that she ain't escaped or been released or nothing.
Hey, Shani, Nicky wanted to be here, but some people close to her are kind of falling apart.
She's dealing with a lot of heavy shit right now.
There's heavy shit here, too.
When is she here? I need to talk to her.
I don't know.
Where is everyone? Is Blanca okay? She's going over her case.
Everyone's hearings are being pushed up.
Shit.
Were you able to talk to your boys? The foster home won't accept calls from the detention center, which is why I have to ask for another favor.
Is there any way you could bring your phone in? No, I can't do that.
- Please, you don't understand.
- I'm getting out in a few weeks.
Please, I'm begging you.
I got my own kids to think of.
I'm sorry.
Mrs.
Córdova, I'm so sorry they called you in, but Abel hasn't stopped crying since this morning.
We got Benji out of class, but he couldn't calm him either.
- Thank you.
Where are they? - In the nurse's office.
Mrs.
Córdova, I'm really sorry for your loss.
Hey.
He was scared that you wouldn't come back.
Sweetheart, Mommy always comes back at three o'clock, like every day.
Is this about Daddy? Come on.
I know you miss him so much.
And we'll be missing him for a long time, but we are here together.
What if you die, too? Oh, baby, I'm not going to die.
Fat Enzo says everybody dies, even babies.
Don't listen to Fat Enzo, or Skinny Enzo, or any Enzo.
I can't die.
I have to stick around, make sure you two get into college.
And then I have to make sure you study hard, and treat women right and marry someone you love, and get good jobs, and have kids that you make me babysit every Saturday, and then, maybe, once you're 70, and need your diapers changed again, then I'll die.
Oh, hey, hey, hey, I'll be 100 by then.
It won't matter.
And I'll still come back and haunt you every day, so you better stay good.
Come on.
How about we go get some raspados? And then TV? Okay, but you have to promise me that tomorrow we'll all do our best to get back to our lives again.
Hmm? Hmm? Okay.
I'm so glad you're dressing up again.
I was afraid you were turning into one of those butch lesbians.
- Mom.
- Sorry, sorry.
Bisexuals.
I don't even know how you do that, actually.
Both genders? It sounds exhausting.
I already worry when your father is spending time with a woman.
I think I'd go crazy if I had to worry every time he went out with a man, too.
Alex knows that she doesn't have to worry.
Ah.
So, what do you think? It's nice.
Not quite me, though.
But it's from Bergdorf's.
- What about something vintage? - Vintage.
I remember you had some very cool dresses way back when, right? I do.
Hey, babe.
I got something in the mail today.
Ooh, great.
Have you opened it? A very considerate CO already did the hard part for me.
Ah.
- What are these, fortune cookie fortunes? - Kind of.
Minus the cookie.
"Because the fuzz on your stomach feels like suede against my cheek.
" "Because you taught me that coconut oil makes delicious edible lube.
" - What are these? - Reasons I love you.
And they're not all sex-related.
You just happened to pick two of the pornier ones.
But you can't read 'em all.
You gotta save 'em.
One for every week you got left.
Sentences to get me through my sentence? I know it's cheesy, but No, it's not.
I love it, Pipes.
Thank you.
I know that the last few weeks have been kind of shitty, and it's been hard for us to talk.
But I wanted you to know that even if there is a day you can't call, or a week I can't visit, I am always thinking about you, Alex.
Me, too.
Ta-da! - Vintage! - Wow! Maybe something pre-'80s? All right.
What is going on over there? This Cinderella has a ball to attend.
If she can find a dress in time.
Are you working one of those character birthdays? - No, I can't work with children, remember? - Yeah.
This is a real ball.
Except maybe not the Cinderella kind, because really, that was just a glorified episode of The Bachelor.
What kind of a ball are you talking about? The fundraising kind.
I'm going as a tourist.
Zelda snuck me in.
Oh.
That sounds fun.
Mmm-hmm.
I hope your fairy godmother comes through with that dress.
Mmm, you and me both.
Hmm.
Both genders will love it.
An inmate from Litchfield Federal Prison is attempting to contact you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hello? Don't tell me I'm waking your ass up.
Oh.
Hey, Taystee.
No, no, I'm up.
I looked for you yesterday, and they said you weren't teaching no more.
Yo, if you sick, we appreciate you staying away, because you know how fast everything spread around here.
I mean, this place is like preschool, but with crabs.
No, Taystee, I'm not I'm not sick.
It's just, uh It's a long story.
Is there something I can help you with? Actually, there is.
- Is this about your appeal? - No, no, no.
It's, um I got this idea, and I know it sounds crazy, but - I'm listening.
- I've been doing some reading about what happens to women when they first get out of prison.
And basically, if they don't get some kind of assist within the first 72 hours, they probably gonna end up criming and landing they asses back in here, like I did.
So, I was thinking What if there was some kind of loans program special for them to help them get back on they feet, right? They could repay it when they can, and then that money can go to the next person.
So So, like, um, microloans for newly released inmates? They exist? I don't think so, but they should.
Is it stupid if I ask you to help me start it up? No.
No, it's not stupid.
Taystee, it's a fantastic idea, but now is not a good time for me to get involved in anything that might, uh I'll tell you what.
Why don't you put together a proposal, and I might not be able to do anything for you, but I know some people I can call.
Yo! That's what I'm talking about.
All right.
So, first, if we just - Taystee? - Yeah? It's real good to have you back.
For years, my government has persecuted people like me.
Like you, or you specifically? No way this bitch is gonna throw my case out.
Based on lack of evidence, I'm denying your application for political asylum I hope she breaks for lunch before we're called.
Conviction rates drop by 30% after lunch.
Next case, 519, Córdova, Karla.
State your true and complete name.
Karla Diana Adilene Córdova.
At your last proceeding, your case was set over to give you time to find an attorney.
Yet you're here today without an attorney.
I'm representing myself, Your Honor.
I'd like to file my application for relief under the Convention Against Torture Act.
Do you have a filled out I-589 application and your supporting evidence that demonstrates you will be tortured if returned to El Salvador today? I do, Your Honor.
Uh, the newspaper article is about the school where I used to teach, El Aleph.
The year I left, we had 36 deaths.
All of them boys who refused to join gangs.
I knew them all personally.
Many of them were my students.
They were good boys, but they had no way out.
When I became pregnant, my husband and I knew we had to leave.
We couldn't risk our child's life Gang violence is not grounds for CAT.
It's not even grounds for asylum.
- I'm getting to that.
- Speed it up, Ms.
Córdova.
I have two boys now.
American boys.
I can't take them to a country where their choices are kill or be killed.
The Convention Against Torture clearly states that torture is intense suffering that is inflicted in order to obtain information or to coerce.
If I take my boys back, they'll be coerced into joining the gangs, or they will suffer the consequences, the very definition by which CAT stands.
The state is not deporting Ms.
Córdova's kids.
The state is deporting Ms.
Córdova.
I'm not leaving them.
Their father passed away last year.
I'm all they have.
Your Honor, Ms.
Córdova doesn't even have custody of her children.
That's only because I'm in here.
I'm seeing your children are already placed in pre-adoptive foster care.
I'm their mother.
I will file to get them back.
Ms.
Córdova, your children will be safer here.
If anyone's made that case, it's you.
Unfortunately, what you've failed to do is make a case for yourself.
This application doesn't even make a prima facie case for relief under the CAT.
I'm denying your case and I am issuing a written order of removal.
You can't! No.
No.
I'm so glad that you're doing what you love.
You should be, 'cause I'm about to fix your situation.
So, let's start with what kind of event are you going to? The kind where they'll pay the price of a Lexus for a painting the size of a place mat.
Oh.
Somebody landed on their Louboutins.
Thank you.
No, I'm only going as a plus one.
- Plus one, huh? - Mmm-hmm.
Good for you.
You know, some fools find it hard to let go of their prison relationships.
Oh, no, not that kind of plus one.
Alex and I are still together.
We even got married.
Prison married, not married married, but it's the same thing.
We'll do something more official when she's out in a few years.
You know a few years is a lot of days and nights, right? Well, not so much when you consider the fact that marriage is forever.
Sweetie, I know not even you're that naive.
It's hard.
It's hard, but we're trying.
You know you don't have to keep trying, right? We're not in prison anymore.
We can do whatever we want, be whatever we want.
Yeah, but you can't pretend that prison just didn't happen.
No, but I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life looking back on it either.
I did my time.
I'm looking forward now.
And you and your hair should do the same.
So, which one of these Beckys do you wanna be? Hey.
Sorry I couldn't make it yesterday.
It was crazy out there.
You should've seen how many chargers we seized.
We need to stop.
I totally agree, or at least lay low for a while.
No, I mean all of it.
You mean us? We are not an "us".
Wait, what about what you said in the shower? I'm sorry that I made you feel like this was something it's not.
You know this is real.
Maybe it could be if things were different, but I'm married.
To someone who can't be with you.
What kind of marriage is that? I don't know, but it's the marriage I'm in.
And what we're doing, it's not fair to Piper or to you.
- Bullshit! - Okay, keep your voice down.
You don't have to do this.
I'm sorry.
582, time to go.
Transpo is waiting outside.
Strip your bed, grab your belongings and bring them with you to the front.
Is the kitchen crew here yet? They'll have food for you on the plane.
Okay.
Coming.
- Hey! What are you doing? - Hey! 582, stop that! What are you doing? - Oh, my God! Stop! - You're hurting her! Back off! Everybody, shut the fuck up! Let go of me.
- And you, settle down! - Stop! - Let's go.
- Get over here! Come on! You can't send me back there! - Get back to work.
- Shani, calm down.
You can't take me back there! Shani.
Get in here.
What is this one doing here? Your cousin says he saw you in that hotel bar the tourists go to.
It's a miracle they even let him in.
Shani! I'm joking.
I was out with my girlfriends and didn't talk to anyone.
And it's not even eleven yet.
He says you were kissing a woman.
It's the girl whose father runs that private school in Al Bairat.
No, no.
This is not true.
How could you use your computer for such things, Shani? All these pictures are with this girl.
You wrote those things, for all to see? Daddy, I'm sorry.
You know that I could never hurt you.
But I can't say the same for the rest of the family.
You mean, you'll let them kill me? You tarnished your family's name and our reputation.
The court hereby designates China as the country of removal.
813, Flores, Bianca.
Blanca.
You were right.
This judge won't dismiss your case.
You need to change your strategy.
You crazy? I can't change strategies now.
Tell her you want a stay of removal to fight your original conviction in criminal court.
- 813.
- It'll buy you some time.
To the respondent, state your true and complete name.
Blanca Raiza Flores.
And you're a citizen of the Dominican Republic? Yes, Your Honor, but I would like to request to stay, please.
Yes, everyone would like to stay.
I think that's why we're all here.
I meant I would like to request a stay of removal.
You want a continuance? Yes, Your Honor, to fight my previous conviction in criminal court.
The state has not been presented with any new evidence that would lead us to believe that she could appeal her original conviction.
Your Honor, I was advised to plead guilty to helping organize a riot in exchange for no additional time.
My attorney never informed me that my immigration status would be affected or my green card revoked.
This amounts to ineffective assistance of counsel.
Had I been informed of the consequences, I would've assumed my risk and fought my case in court.
I'm asking for the opportunity to do so now.
Your Honor, I would like to go to criminal court and get my original conviction turned over.
- You mean overturned? - Exactly.
Along the border, East Berliners are forced to evacuate their homes, as the Communist police move to prevent Fuck! What the Where'd my class go? Well, guess they weren't very interested in current events in East Germany.
But you are? All right.
- I need a favor.
- Sorry.
I'm stretched to capacity.
My shit pipe won't give another millimeter.
Oh, God, no.
All right, look, I I want you to stop Lorna's transfer to Florida, all right? I need you to transfer me to her cell instead, or her into mine.
- Yeah.
- Really? No.
Transfers are way too much paperwork.
She's lucky she's not getting sent to a prison that still has a psych ward.
You know they found her trying to nurse a chicken? Yeah, I mean, she needs someone to take care of her.
And your magic fingers are the cure, huh? You know, I don't even know why I'm asking you.
I guess it was on the off chance that maybe you'd grown a spine or some decency since you last fucked me over.
Well, I guess that's a negative on both.
Look, man, I fucked up, all right? I let down my family.
And it's too late with Red, but maybe I still have a chance with Lorna, all right? So, please.
Okay, fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Just Stop with the Jesus Christ.
It's like watching a hot girl take a shit.
I mean, you know they do it, but, you know, you never You never wanna see it.
Customers only.
I will customize that ferret nose straight into that skull.
Sorry.
Desperate times.
Speaking of desperate, I hope you're not looking to buy, 'cause I sure as shit ain't selling to you.
It's amazing how they didn't find any of your shit in the drug bust.
I guess I live under a lucky star.
Maybe it's your chance to get clean.
Maybe I should be more like you, huh? Can't make your own deals, so you go chasing after bald dicks and licking their balls 'cause they got you on a leash? I'm alpha now, bitch.
You and Hopper better step the fuck back.
You think I like slinging this shit, you fucking idiot? Everything I do is so my kids could eat, have a roof over their head, so you don't die of a fuckin' overdose like every fucking junkie ever.
The only thing you've ever done is make us feel worthless, all right? That's why we fuckin' hate your ass.
At least I stick around.
Even while I'm in here, I make sure that my kids know they still got a mother.
Not like you, just Not like me what, huh? What? Say it.
Not like you, giving away your baby like she's a fucking gerbil you got tired of playing with.
Fuck you, Aleida.
Oh, don't tell me we got the language wrong again.
- No, it's K'iche'.
- Oh, thank God.
Okay.
Uh Please, tell Ms.
Chaj her baby is fine.
Wh What did she say? She says she doesn't want it.
- We're going to die in here.
- Let us out! Bite it.
So you don't faint.
We're here? Everybody, shut up! Could be the cops.
What's up? Don't you want some sun? Vitamin D.
It'll do you good.
Get out! Welcome to the home stretch.
From here you can walk to the river.
Very exciting, no? Whoa, slow down.
Nobody walks for free.
You should learn this now before you get to the States.
Everything costs.
We already paid.
Ask him! If you want to pass by our territory, tolls are extra.
We have no more money.
Then call your family in the States and have them transfer it to my account.
You need a phone? I'll add the call fee to your total.
We don't have family there.
We also take other forms of payment.
Hey.
I need you to sign off on a transpo to the women's clinic.
Another yeast outbreak? These women really need to lay off the sugar.
It's for Chaj.
The doctor said she and the baby are fine.
First of all, it's not a baby.
It's a fetus.
She was trying to induce a miscarriage.
Jesus Christ, is there no respect for human life around here? The only transportation I got for her is the one that takes her back to where she came from.
This woman was raped while trying to come into this country.
I don't try to change your policies, Ms.
Figueroa.
Don't try to change mine.
It's not a matter of policy.
It's a matter of law.
Then maybe it's time you realize we go by different laws around here.
Can someone please take the baby outside until it's her turn? Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
My name is Judge Christine Holister, and we're sitting in the immigration court in Litchfield, New York.
These are removal proceedings for siblings Alma and Santiago CasÃas.
Let the record show the respondents are present in court, but without an attorney.
Do you understand what these proceedings are about? Miss CasÃas, do you and your brother have a lawyer? - Do you know what a lawyer is? - No.
Well, do you understand that we are here to determine whether or not you two can remain in the United States? Can I use the bathroom? I thought this courtroom was for adult hearings.
We have the juvenile docket on Fridays.
Illegal's an illegal, even if they're mini.
And a piece of shit is a piece of shit, even if he's grown.
She said "shit".
Hey! Whoa.
So, love letters? That's the big fuckin' secret? - Tell Ruiz to shut the fuck up.
- Oh, my God.
Both of you shut the fuck up.
Jesus.
What the hell happened between you two, anyways? What happened is she's a cunt.
Gloria, I know that I fucked up, and I accept full responsibility for my actions.
I know forgiveness is going to take a long time or it might not even never come.
But I hope that one day we can at least have a civil conversation.
So Oh, now you tell me how that makes you feel and shit.
You wanna know how I feel? I feel like you're a ghetto Barbie from the 99¢ store.
We got Pregnant Maria, Gangbanger Maria, Jesus-Saves Maria, Whatever-Weird-Cult-This-Is Maria.
They're so cheap that if you don't like one, you could just throw it away and then get one next week.
Well, at least I'm trying to evolve, all right? And I own up to the shit I do, not like you.
Mother Superior, right? You can't even admit that you got me ten years by lying through your fucking teeth, can you? Shit.
That happened? Guess who's back? Better late than never.
At least they can help with the cleanup.
Flores? Shit.
It's like a fucking traitor convention up in here.
What is Ruiz doing here? Oh, my God.
So many opportunities to continue my work.
Ay, dios mÃo.
This is like a telenovela.
I feel like one of you is about to go into a coma.
Hey, what happened at the hearings? They're giving me time to reopen my criminal case.
It's good, 'cause it gives me a chance to fight this thanks to Karla and you guys.
Ay, nena, thank God.
What about you? Shit.
I'm so sorry.
All right, all right, back to work.
Karla, come with me.
I think you should let your boys know.
- Thank you.
- Just hurry up.
Hello? Hello? I'm Abel and Benji's mom.
Please don't hang up.
I won't cause any trouble.
I just want to know how they are.
They're fine.
They talk about you a lot.
Please.
Would you let me talk to them for a moment? You're on speaker.
Mama? - Mijo! - Where are you? Mama, they took our cat and my Pokémon cards.
When are you coming back? I'm working real hard on getting back to you, okay? I'm going to have to be away for a little while, but I'm coming back.
But when? I don't know yet, but soon.
You have to know that no matter what happens, no matter what anyone tells you, I will not stop until we're together again.
Will you be here for my birthday? If I'm not, it just means that I'm still on my way, okay? But it might take me a little while.
So, until then, you two need to take care of each other.
Remind each other to drink water and zip up your jackets.
And you know how when you were little and you'd get real angry or sad, we used to talk about using your words.
Well, you're gonna have to do that.
You're gonna have to tell people what you need.
If there's something you don't understand or if something hurts or if someone hurts you you're gonna need to speak up for yourselves, and for each other, because I won't be there to do it for you.
I love you both more than anything.
Never forget how much I love you.
Could you take one with my camera? Thank you.
Piper.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Are you kidding me? You're going to be such a treat to look at all evening.
You look beautiful.
I can't believe that this is your life.
Hardly.
It's fun to play dress-up every now and then.
Come.
Let me show you around, introduce you to my people.
Guys, this is Piper.
Piper, this is Andy, - our in-house design guru.
- Hello.
And this is Luz, our incredible photographer.
- Zelda, excuse me.
- I'll be right back, okay? So, you're the one Zelda won't shut up about.
Oh, no, no, no.
I doubt it.
- What? - Andy, not cool.
So, um, Piper, what do you do? I'm in accounting.
But I'm thinking of transitioning into something more meaningful.
Maybe in the nonprofit sector.
I love what Zelda does, what you two do.
Send me your resume and what you're interested in.
I always have friends looking for people.
- Wow.
Really? Thanks.
- Yeah.
- I'll take you up on that.
- Great.
Although, full disclosure, I've done time.
In prison.
As an inmate.
So, it might not be easy.
Oh.
Um That's So, uh, where'd they send you? Litchfield.
It's a federal penitentiary upstate.
Oh, I read about that place on the back cover of this book that just came out.
The one by that woman who baked cranberry bread with 50 Cent? Judy King wrote a memoir? Racy for an old swan.
I hope my stamina holds up half as well.
Evening, everyone.
Walking in, you probably noticed dozens of candles lighting your way.
Each one of those candles represents a Syrian child the Karam Foundation has helped this year.
Working alongside Lina and her team has taught me that no matter the setbacks, we must pick ourselves up and move forward.
We must continue to find hope despite despair.
The Karam Foundation doesn't just rebuild schools, it builds futures.
The Karam homes are environments that encourage invention and innovation, a sense of adventure and entrepreneurship.
Hey, uh, thank you for seeing me so late.
- Of course.
Are you feeling okay? - Sorry, it's been, uh, a long day.
A woman at the detention center I work in, I found out her pregnancy is a result of rape.
That is awful.
She wants an abortion, but ICE won't let her have one.
They care about the baby so much.
They want her to keep it, at least until they deport her and it's not their problem anymore.
I'm so sorry.
What am I doing, bringing a kid into a world that's so fucking fucked? What do you mean? I I don't want a baby.
Hey, Natalie, it's okay.
It's okay.
It's a big decision.
Why don't you sleep on it, talk to Joe? Your IVF isn't until Friday.
You have plenty of time to change your mind.
Actually, I don't.
- I'm nine weeks along.
- Natalie It's a Christmas miracle, except it's not Christmas and I don't want a miracle.
I know it is a lot to ask, but I am asking.
Please.
It's a pity you want an abortion, given how much you've spent on IVF.
What in Bob's name could be taking so long? My shift was over 15 minutes ago.
I got cheeseburger macaroni waitin' for me.
I'll put everything away.
We'll finish the rest tomorrow.
What the - Hello? - Hello? Is my mom there? What is your mother's name? Whose phone is this? How did you get the owner of De Beers to whip and nae nae? It's what I do, baby.
And you do it so well.
Zelda, that was so much fun.
Thank you so much.
So, are you gonna invite me in, so I can finally meet that lizard that lives in your closet? Is that a euphemism? Do you want it to be? Zelda, I do.
But I can't.
I'm sorry.
You do realize your inner conflict only makes me like you more, right? Jesus! What are you doing here? Does Alex know about her? What are you talking about? She thinks you're waiting for her, like a good little wife.
What I'm doing and what Alex is doing is none of your business.
Except it is.
If you don't get out of here right now, I'm gonna call the police.
She's ready to move on, you know.
With me.
Except she's scared of hurting you.
Meanwhile, you're out here, livin' the life.
You're fucking crazy.
How do you know where I live? Who do you think delivered the stupid parrot shirt Alex sent you? You built a new life for yourself, Chapman.
You should let Alex do the same.
What's gonna happen to us? That's for the warden to decide.
Your attorney's comin' tomorrow.
You, uh You all right? Yeah, I'm fine.
I thought marriage was supposed to last forever.
We was the perfect family.
How can he take my baby away? You still have family, okay? We're gonna get through this, okay? There's, uh There's some things that we need to talk about first.
This is from Shani.
I'm sorry.
What is it, honey? What is it? Hey.
So fucked up.
It's okay.
- What's wrong with her? - Got feisty.
Had to sedate her.
Might wanna dose her again in a few.
It's gonna be a long flight.
Move in.
Come on.
Go in.
Grab a bed.
Pick one.
Any one that's available.
I'm not trying to catch it.
I'm trying to feed it.
Think Code Talker will mind if I put this here till she gets back? Assuming she gets back.
Ay, please.
She's in Medical, not dead.
Or they transferred her or deported her.
She wasn't deported.
They make you take your sheets off before you go.
519.
813.
You've got mail.
- 741.
You've got mail.
- Are you still on AOL? - They're moving my hearing up.
- Mine, too.
You've got mail.
431.
You've got mail.
- Shani, you didn't get one? - I ran out of hearings.
Air ICE is giving me a free flight to my fucking funeral.
Oh, Shani, I'm sorry.
I'm still waiting on a copy of my defense file.
How the hell am I gonna get my case tossed if I can't prove my shitty lawyer fucked up my conviction? How can I get my immigration case dismissed if I can't prove that my court-appointed attorney was negligent and affected the results of my criminal proceedings? You got this.
Any decent judge would throw it out.
"Decent" seems to be relative these days.
Try to be nice and you get shit on your head.
God bless America.
Isn't it great? It's a beauty, Ms.
Ferguson.
Thank you, Mr.
Litvack.
Like the inside of a cereal box minus the happy prize.
The happy prize is we don't have to keep busing detainees across the state every time they have a court appearance.
Exactly.
And now every detainee from Essex and Clinton counties get bused here.
Always looking out for the bottom line.
Aw.
Thank you.
I will admit that when we first won this contract, I was a bit daunted.
These hearings can be very controversial.
Plus the pressure to build something so fast.
But then Carlos here told me a very inspiring story about how the DHS built an entire prison in New Orleans the week after Katrina hit, and I thought, if they can build an entire prison in the middle of a flood, I can build a courtroom in the middle of a shitstorm.
Standards to live by.
I don't see judge's chambers anywhere.
Are you planning on them hanging out in the hall or does my office become a WeWork? Oh, the judges never leave the bench.
Yeah, they see at least 100 cases a day.
Maybe they wear those adult diapers like that lady astronaut, right? Although, I am working on setting up a teleconferencing line so the judges can do it all via webcam.
Speed us up by 32%.
And some people complain Skype sex feels impersonal.
Linds Ms.
Ferguson, why don't you sit in the judge's chair - and I'll take your picture? - No.
- Come on.
- I can't.
Yes, you can.
Please.
You.
All right.
Ooh, so satisfying.
Carlos, you be the bailiff.
- Do you mind taking our - Uh, no, I am out of here.
Hey, sorry to bust in.
We got a minor situation in Medical.
What happened to her? The patient presented with severe abdominal upset and vaginal spotting.
But, thankfully, the pregnancy is still viable.
She's pregnant? I'd say about nine weeks along.
- So, why is she still screaming? - She's scared, poor thing.
She doesn't know that her little oogie woogie's gonna be okay.
Mama, mama, your baby's gonna be okay.
Okay, your baby's gonna be okay.
Where is her translator? We don't have a translator for that.
You're supposed to file a report if a detainee needs the Language Line.
I have a new courtroom to oversee, so this sounds like a you problem to me.
I don't know why no one else wants to work in the ICE kitchen.
They scared they'll be deported or something? Oh, it's 'cause Mendoza ain't easy.
So, why you wanna do it? I'm trying to continue my journey of personal improvement.
Um, but you know what? Maybe I should make amends with my bunkie first, because she's mad at me 'cause I made her clean up whatever was leaking out of the toilet last night.
Too late.
We need kitchen crew.
You only brought one person? Can't you see our entire white contingent is MIA? Well, I always heard that one Latin works just as hard as three whites.
I know you mean that as a compliment, but I'm gonna take it as an insult.
I asked for Diaz, not Ruiz.
Big Diaz and Little Diaz both declined.
Wait, which one's which? It's a little confusing because the older one is smaller.
You're not getting a Diaz.
Well, I don't want a Ruiz neither.
Gloria, I know things have been really rough between us.
But I was hoping maybe maybe this might be a chance for us to, you know, reset the game.
Relationships are best mended by working together, you know? Fuck you.
- Here's my check.
- Okay.
And, um, I wanted to ask permission to go to a fundraiser.
My friend asked me to be her plus one.
And there will be alcohol there, of which I will not partake.
And it will probably interfere with my curfew, but it's for an important cause I'm not interested in the details of your date, but you can go.
It's not a date, but thank you very much for signing off.
Thank yourself.
I mean, your employment situation has been steady, your drug tests have been coming back clean, and looking at the clarity of your sample, you're living a healthy life.
- Mmm.
- You drinking alkaline water? I am.
I'm feeling great.
I even got back into running.
I feel like I'm finally living my truth.
Sorry, I know that's a cliché.
- But clichés are clichés for a reason.
- Yes.
Yes, they are.
They're really just catchy truths.
Do you know that squirrels' teeth never stop growing? Okay, so your probation is ending soon, and you might wanna try and figure out what you wanna do with the rest of your life.
Can you be more specific? Okay.
"Have you found a place of your own?" Not yet.
- No.
Okay.
- No.
"Have you cut ties with people involved with your past criminal activities?" Well, that one's tricky, given the marriage.
No.
Okay.
"Do you have career aspirations beyond your current employment?" - Yes, of course.
- All right, then, what are they? Well, I'm not sure exactly what they are yet, beyond aspirational.
No.
Mmm-hmm.
When do you need the answer to these questions? Oh.
They're They're not for me, okay? You have to find these answers for yourself.
Go.
And keep the door open for the next one, please.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
Sophia! Girl, I haven't seen you since the last time.
- You look amazing.
- And you look like the last time, but damp.
Ooh, um.
Give the woman your card, Ms.
Burset.
She has some fancy party and her hair needs an ambulance.
Trust.
All right, everybody out of your cells and up against the wall, now! - What's happening? - Random sweep.
What? Why wasn't I informed? 'Cause then it wouldn't be random.
Move your ass, inmate.
Move it.
You got anything on you? Don't worry.
Everything is buried within the shower pipes.
Except I got some buried in my cock pipe.
I didn't do it.
Went deep sea diving.
I caught me a hairy squid.
Motherfucker.
More like fuck your mother.
This is a lot.
Hm.
I told you it was a good tip.
I mean, look at all these pills.
Look at all that hair.
You could make yourself a toupee.
Huh? Not "you", you.
Just someone could.
Now, how the heck did somebody even sneak this in? Kind of looks like a lobster claw.
Which part's the tickle and which part's the plug? Hopper, Ginger, take all this to the contraband room and make sure it's itemized properly.
Of course.
And you're welcome.
Hey.
What do you know about this? - Me? Nothing.
I Nothing.
- Mmm-hmm.
I really need to know which one of these scrotum bros is bringing in all this stuff.
I wish I could tell you, I do.
I just I don't know.
I could really use some help.
Could you be my girl on the inside? Tell me if you see anything? - Of course.
I've got your back.
- Right.
Hey, Nicky.
Thanks for coming.
You got balls, I'll give you that.
- So, how's Lorna doing? - Oh, you know, bright and sprightly.
Look, I know Lorna is having a real hard time with all this, and so am I.
This is killing me.
But I gotta move on.
I was hoping maybe you could help her understand why she's gotta sign these divorce papers.
Oh, okay, so you asked me here to help you with your divorce? Jesus, Vinnie.
I can smell the rotting carcass of your soul - through the glass.
- Nicky You have a responsibility to her as her kid's father, and you can't just suddenly decide that you're moving and taking Sterling with you.
He means everything to her.
She has a right to see him.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, I don't know what Lorna told you, but Actually, I know exactly what she told you and that's the problem.
Nicky, the baby died in the NICU.
Eh, what do you mean? I I saw a picture of him yesterday where he's drooling 'cause he's teething, 'cause he's a very early teether.
She's taking other people's photos from the Internet.
It's not him.
Oh, shit.
Oh, Vinnie, I'm so sorry.
She's down the rabbit hole.
'Cause she can't process it.
She's gone someplace in her head, and I can't reach her.
The prison doc said that they're gonna transfer her to some unit with all the oldies and nutties, and maybe that's gonna help.
At least she'll have more supervision.
What? No, no, no, no, all right? She doesn't know anyone in Florida.
She shouldn't be in there.
She should be with me.
Nicky, I know that you love her, and I appreciate all you do for her, I do.
So, don't take this the wrong way, but you've been with her this entire time and you didn't know.
She needs more help than you or me can give her.
I've been distracted, yeah, but, uh, I'm here now.
And I understand, all right? You need to move on.
But I can't let her go when she needs me most.
You need to tell them not to transfer her.
It's not up to me.
And I think it's already a done deal.
I'm sorry.
My moms used to make us fish head soup before tests.
Said their brain cells make us smarter.
Fish brains? Come on.
When's the last time you thought to yourself, "Wow, there's a smart fish"? Finding Nemo? Yo, Taystee, you done yet? Damn, you acting like you waiting on some chili cheese fries.
Except for chili cheese fries can't tell you if you're dumb.
What do you mean, I failed? All right, B-plus! If I can get Luschek to bring in some fish head, I know I can ace this.
If I can give Luschek some head head, I know I can ace it, too.
You realize it's a machine that grades the tests? I know that.
I just think his sperm cells will make me smarter.
Congrats, Doggett.
You did good.
Wait, she passed? Give back my test.
You still got a bunch wrong, even with your extra dummy time.
- I'm not a dummy.
- Hey, y'all both are geniuses, okay? Now let's go over some of the basic algebra you messed up on.
My brain's gonna explode.
No one uses this shit anyhow.
Are you kidding me? You need this shit to live.
- Akers, when you getting out? - Two years.
Okay, so let's come up with a budget for when that day happens.
Let's say that you get a job the first week you get out, because you baller, right? But money also has to go out for probation fees, water, power, Internet, and you gotta eat.
- My kid's gotta eat, too.
- She got a mouth to feed.
- Shoes and shit, right? - Hmm.
And then, there is X.
X is the amount that you have left for rent.
X better be enough for a two bedroom.
I must've done it wrong 'cause I have negative 300.
I got the same thing.
That's because that's what it is.
I got positive 500.
But that's cause I'm trappin' to supplement my income.
Man, math is bullshit.
Maybe you could get a loan.
Ain't no bank gonna give a loan to an ex-con.
Get a community loan, like my mama did when our trailer was towed away.
Everyone pitched in and helped us pay.
They did? That's good.
That's what loans should be.
Except that ain't a loan.
That's a redneck Kickstarter.
No, it is too a loan, because Mama repaid it when John John's trailer burned down.
I mean, she might've sucked him off, I can't really remember, but either way, it was paid.
Tell her the big slot is for the pasta casserole.
The big slot is for I can hear you fine, Gloria, and whenever you're ready to talk to me You're running half an hour behind, Mendoza.
Third time this week.
I'm doing what I can when you don't bring me any volunteers.
Where is everybody? Nowhere good is my guess.
Well, well, so much for Saint Gloria, huh? She dealing Aleida's shit, or is that Daya's shit? That ain't got nothing to do with either of the Diazeses.
Please, I need to talk to Nicky.
Where is she? No clue.
I mean, I seen her in prison, so I know that she ain't escaped or been released or nothing.
Hey, Shani, Nicky wanted to be here, but some people close to her are kind of falling apart.
She's dealing with a lot of heavy shit right now.
There's heavy shit here, too.
When is she here? I need to talk to her.
I don't know.
Where is everyone? Is Blanca okay? She's going over her case.
Everyone's hearings are being pushed up.
Shit.
Were you able to talk to your boys? The foster home won't accept calls from the detention center, which is why I have to ask for another favor.
Is there any way you could bring your phone in? No, I can't do that.
- Please, you don't understand.
- I'm getting out in a few weeks.
Please, I'm begging you.
I got my own kids to think of.
I'm sorry.
Mrs.
Córdova, I'm so sorry they called you in, but Abel hasn't stopped crying since this morning.
We got Benji out of class, but he couldn't calm him either.
- Thank you.
Where are they? - In the nurse's office.
Mrs.
Córdova, I'm really sorry for your loss.
Hey.
He was scared that you wouldn't come back.
Sweetheart, Mommy always comes back at three o'clock, like every day.
Is this about Daddy? Come on.
I know you miss him so much.
And we'll be missing him for a long time, but we are here together.
What if you die, too? Oh, baby, I'm not going to die.
Fat Enzo says everybody dies, even babies.
Don't listen to Fat Enzo, or Skinny Enzo, or any Enzo.
I can't die.
I have to stick around, make sure you two get into college.
And then I have to make sure you study hard, and treat women right and marry someone you love, and get good jobs, and have kids that you make me babysit every Saturday, and then, maybe, once you're 70, and need your diapers changed again, then I'll die.
Oh, hey, hey, hey, I'll be 100 by then.
It won't matter.
And I'll still come back and haunt you every day, so you better stay good.
Come on.
How about we go get some raspados? And then TV? Okay, but you have to promise me that tomorrow we'll all do our best to get back to our lives again.
Hmm? Hmm? Okay.
I'm so glad you're dressing up again.
I was afraid you were turning into one of those butch lesbians.
- Mom.
- Sorry, sorry.
Bisexuals.
I don't even know how you do that, actually.
Both genders? It sounds exhausting.
I already worry when your father is spending time with a woman.
I think I'd go crazy if I had to worry every time he went out with a man, too.
Alex knows that she doesn't have to worry.
Ah.
So, what do you think? It's nice.
Not quite me, though.
But it's from Bergdorf's.
- What about something vintage? - Vintage.
I remember you had some very cool dresses way back when, right? I do.
Hey, babe.
I got something in the mail today.
Ooh, great.
Have you opened it? A very considerate CO already did the hard part for me.
Ah.
- What are these, fortune cookie fortunes? - Kind of.
Minus the cookie.
"Because the fuzz on your stomach feels like suede against my cheek.
" "Because you taught me that coconut oil makes delicious edible lube.
" - What are these? - Reasons I love you.
And they're not all sex-related.
You just happened to pick two of the pornier ones.
But you can't read 'em all.
You gotta save 'em.
One for every week you got left.
Sentences to get me through my sentence? I know it's cheesy, but No, it's not.
I love it, Pipes.
Thank you.
I know that the last few weeks have been kind of shitty, and it's been hard for us to talk.
But I wanted you to know that even if there is a day you can't call, or a week I can't visit, I am always thinking about you, Alex.
Me, too.
Ta-da! - Vintage! - Wow! Maybe something pre-'80s? All right.
What is going on over there? This Cinderella has a ball to attend.
If she can find a dress in time.
Are you working one of those character birthdays? - No, I can't work with children, remember? - Yeah.
This is a real ball.
Except maybe not the Cinderella kind, because really, that was just a glorified episode of The Bachelor.
What kind of a ball are you talking about? The fundraising kind.
I'm going as a tourist.
Zelda snuck me in.
Oh.
That sounds fun.
Mmm-hmm.
I hope your fairy godmother comes through with that dress.
Mmm, you and me both.
Hmm.
Both genders will love it.
An inmate from Litchfield Federal Prison is attempting to contact you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hello? Don't tell me I'm waking your ass up.
Oh.
Hey, Taystee.
No, no, I'm up.
I looked for you yesterday, and they said you weren't teaching no more.
Yo, if you sick, we appreciate you staying away, because you know how fast everything spread around here.
I mean, this place is like preschool, but with crabs.
No, Taystee, I'm not I'm not sick.
It's just, uh It's a long story.
Is there something I can help you with? Actually, there is.
- Is this about your appeal? - No, no, no.
It's, um I got this idea, and I know it sounds crazy, but - I'm listening.
- I've been doing some reading about what happens to women when they first get out of prison.
And basically, if they don't get some kind of assist within the first 72 hours, they probably gonna end up criming and landing they asses back in here, like I did.
So, I was thinking What if there was some kind of loans program special for them to help them get back on they feet, right? They could repay it when they can, and then that money can go to the next person.
So So, like, um, microloans for newly released inmates? They exist? I don't think so, but they should.
Is it stupid if I ask you to help me start it up? No.
No, it's not stupid.
Taystee, it's a fantastic idea, but now is not a good time for me to get involved in anything that might, uh I'll tell you what.
Why don't you put together a proposal, and I might not be able to do anything for you, but I know some people I can call.
Yo! That's what I'm talking about.
All right.
So, first, if we just - Taystee? - Yeah? It's real good to have you back.
For years, my government has persecuted people like me.
Like you, or you specifically? No way this bitch is gonna throw my case out.
Based on lack of evidence, I'm denying your application for political asylum I hope she breaks for lunch before we're called.
Conviction rates drop by 30% after lunch.
Next case, 519, Córdova, Karla.
State your true and complete name.
Karla Diana Adilene Córdova.
At your last proceeding, your case was set over to give you time to find an attorney.
Yet you're here today without an attorney.
I'm representing myself, Your Honor.
I'd like to file my application for relief under the Convention Against Torture Act.
Do you have a filled out I-589 application and your supporting evidence that demonstrates you will be tortured if returned to El Salvador today? I do, Your Honor.
Uh, the newspaper article is about the school where I used to teach, El Aleph.
The year I left, we had 36 deaths.
All of them boys who refused to join gangs.
I knew them all personally.
Many of them were my students.
They were good boys, but they had no way out.
When I became pregnant, my husband and I knew we had to leave.
We couldn't risk our child's life Gang violence is not grounds for CAT.
It's not even grounds for asylum.
- I'm getting to that.
- Speed it up, Ms.
Córdova.
I have two boys now.
American boys.
I can't take them to a country where their choices are kill or be killed.
The Convention Against Torture clearly states that torture is intense suffering that is inflicted in order to obtain information or to coerce.
If I take my boys back, they'll be coerced into joining the gangs, or they will suffer the consequences, the very definition by which CAT stands.
The state is not deporting Ms.
Córdova's kids.
The state is deporting Ms.
Córdova.
I'm not leaving them.
Their father passed away last year.
I'm all they have.
Your Honor, Ms.
Córdova doesn't even have custody of her children.
That's only because I'm in here.
I'm seeing your children are already placed in pre-adoptive foster care.
I'm their mother.
I will file to get them back.
Ms.
Córdova, your children will be safer here.
If anyone's made that case, it's you.
Unfortunately, what you've failed to do is make a case for yourself.
This application doesn't even make a prima facie case for relief under the CAT.
I'm denying your case and I am issuing a written order of removal.
You can't! No.
No.
I'm so glad that you're doing what you love.
You should be, 'cause I'm about to fix your situation.
So, let's start with what kind of event are you going to? The kind where they'll pay the price of a Lexus for a painting the size of a place mat.
Oh.
Somebody landed on their Louboutins.
Thank you.
No, I'm only going as a plus one.
- Plus one, huh? - Mmm-hmm.
Good for you.
You know, some fools find it hard to let go of their prison relationships.
Oh, no, not that kind of plus one.
Alex and I are still together.
We even got married.
Prison married, not married married, but it's the same thing.
We'll do something more official when she's out in a few years.
You know a few years is a lot of days and nights, right? Well, not so much when you consider the fact that marriage is forever.
Sweetie, I know not even you're that naive.
It's hard.
It's hard, but we're trying.
You know you don't have to keep trying, right? We're not in prison anymore.
We can do whatever we want, be whatever we want.
Yeah, but you can't pretend that prison just didn't happen.
No, but I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life looking back on it either.
I did my time.
I'm looking forward now.
And you and your hair should do the same.
So, which one of these Beckys do you wanna be? Hey.
Sorry I couldn't make it yesterday.
It was crazy out there.
You should've seen how many chargers we seized.
We need to stop.
I totally agree, or at least lay low for a while.
No, I mean all of it.
You mean us? We are not an "us".
Wait, what about what you said in the shower? I'm sorry that I made you feel like this was something it's not.
You know this is real.
Maybe it could be if things were different, but I'm married.
To someone who can't be with you.
What kind of marriage is that? I don't know, but it's the marriage I'm in.
And what we're doing, it's not fair to Piper or to you.
- Bullshit! - Okay, keep your voice down.
You don't have to do this.
I'm sorry.
582, time to go.
Transpo is waiting outside.
Strip your bed, grab your belongings and bring them with you to the front.
Is the kitchen crew here yet? They'll have food for you on the plane.
Okay.
Coming.
- Hey! What are you doing? - Hey! 582, stop that! What are you doing? - Oh, my God! Stop! - You're hurting her! Back off! Everybody, shut the fuck up! Let go of me.
- And you, settle down! - Stop! - Let's go.
- Get over here! Come on! You can't send me back there! - Get back to work.
- Shani, calm down.
You can't take me back there! Shani.
Get in here.
What is this one doing here? Your cousin says he saw you in that hotel bar the tourists go to.
It's a miracle they even let him in.
Shani! I'm joking.
I was out with my girlfriends and didn't talk to anyone.
And it's not even eleven yet.
He says you were kissing a woman.
It's the girl whose father runs that private school in Al Bairat.
No, no.
This is not true.
How could you use your computer for such things, Shani? All these pictures are with this girl.
You wrote those things, for all to see? Daddy, I'm sorry.
You know that I could never hurt you.
But I can't say the same for the rest of the family.
You mean, you'll let them kill me? You tarnished your family's name and our reputation.
The court hereby designates China as the country of removal.
813, Flores, Bianca.
Blanca.
You were right.
This judge won't dismiss your case.
You need to change your strategy.
You crazy? I can't change strategies now.
Tell her you want a stay of removal to fight your original conviction in criminal court.
- 813.
- It'll buy you some time.
To the respondent, state your true and complete name.
Blanca Raiza Flores.
And you're a citizen of the Dominican Republic? Yes, Your Honor, but I would like to request to stay, please.
Yes, everyone would like to stay.
I think that's why we're all here.
I meant I would like to request a stay of removal.
You want a continuance? Yes, Your Honor, to fight my previous conviction in criminal court.
The state has not been presented with any new evidence that would lead us to believe that she could appeal her original conviction.
Your Honor, I was advised to plead guilty to helping organize a riot in exchange for no additional time.
My attorney never informed me that my immigration status would be affected or my green card revoked.
This amounts to ineffective assistance of counsel.
Had I been informed of the consequences, I would've assumed my risk and fought my case in court.
I'm asking for the opportunity to do so now.
Your Honor, I would like to go to criminal court and get my original conviction turned over.
- You mean overturned? - Exactly.
Along the border, East Berliners are forced to evacuate their homes, as the Communist police move to prevent Fuck! What the Where'd my class go? Well, guess they weren't very interested in current events in East Germany.
But you are? All right.
- I need a favor.
- Sorry.
I'm stretched to capacity.
My shit pipe won't give another millimeter.
Oh, God, no.
All right, look, I I want you to stop Lorna's transfer to Florida, all right? I need you to transfer me to her cell instead, or her into mine.
- Yeah.
- Really? No.
Transfers are way too much paperwork.
She's lucky she's not getting sent to a prison that still has a psych ward.
You know they found her trying to nurse a chicken? Yeah, I mean, she needs someone to take care of her.
And your magic fingers are the cure, huh? You know, I don't even know why I'm asking you.
I guess it was on the off chance that maybe you'd grown a spine or some decency since you last fucked me over.
Well, I guess that's a negative on both.
Look, man, I fucked up, all right? I let down my family.
And it's too late with Red, but maybe I still have a chance with Lorna, all right? So, please.
Okay, fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Just Stop with the Jesus Christ.
It's like watching a hot girl take a shit.
I mean, you know they do it, but, you know, you never You never wanna see it.
Customers only.
I will customize that ferret nose straight into that skull.
Sorry.
Desperate times.
Speaking of desperate, I hope you're not looking to buy, 'cause I sure as shit ain't selling to you.
It's amazing how they didn't find any of your shit in the drug bust.
I guess I live under a lucky star.
Maybe it's your chance to get clean.
Maybe I should be more like you, huh? Can't make your own deals, so you go chasing after bald dicks and licking their balls 'cause they got you on a leash? I'm alpha now, bitch.
You and Hopper better step the fuck back.
You think I like slinging this shit, you fucking idiot? Everything I do is so my kids could eat, have a roof over their head, so you don't die of a fuckin' overdose like every fucking junkie ever.
The only thing you've ever done is make us feel worthless, all right? That's why we fuckin' hate your ass.
At least I stick around.
Even while I'm in here, I make sure that my kids know they still got a mother.
Not like you, just Not like me what, huh? What? Say it.
Not like you, giving away your baby like she's a fucking gerbil you got tired of playing with.
Fuck you, Aleida.
Oh, don't tell me we got the language wrong again.
- No, it's K'iche'.
- Oh, thank God.
Okay.
Uh Please, tell Ms.
Chaj her baby is fine.
Wh What did she say? She says she doesn't want it.
- We're going to die in here.
- Let us out! Bite it.
So you don't faint.
We're here? Everybody, shut up! Could be the cops.
What's up? Don't you want some sun? Vitamin D.
It'll do you good.
Get out! Welcome to the home stretch.
From here you can walk to the river.
Very exciting, no? Whoa, slow down.
Nobody walks for free.
You should learn this now before you get to the States.
Everything costs.
We already paid.
Ask him! If you want to pass by our territory, tolls are extra.
We have no more money.
Then call your family in the States and have them transfer it to my account.
You need a phone? I'll add the call fee to your total.
We don't have family there.
We also take other forms of payment.
Hey.
I need you to sign off on a transpo to the women's clinic.
Another yeast outbreak? These women really need to lay off the sugar.
It's for Chaj.
The doctor said she and the baby are fine.
First of all, it's not a baby.
It's a fetus.
She was trying to induce a miscarriage.
Jesus Christ, is there no respect for human life around here? The only transportation I got for her is the one that takes her back to where she came from.
This woman was raped while trying to come into this country.
I don't try to change your policies, Ms.
Figueroa.
Don't try to change mine.
It's not a matter of policy.
It's a matter of law.
Then maybe it's time you realize we go by different laws around here.
Can someone please take the baby outside until it's her turn? Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
My name is Judge Christine Holister, and we're sitting in the immigration court in Litchfield, New York.
These are removal proceedings for siblings Alma and Santiago CasÃas.
Let the record show the respondents are present in court, but without an attorney.
Do you understand what these proceedings are about? Miss CasÃas, do you and your brother have a lawyer? - Do you know what a lawyer is? - No.
Well, do you understand that we are here to determine whether or not you two can remain in the United States? Can I use the bathroom? I thought this courtroom was for adult hearings.
We have the juvenile docket on Fridays.
Illegal's an illegal, even if they're mini.
And a piece of shit is a piece of shit, even if he's grown.
She said "shit".
Hey! Whoa.
So, love letters? That's the big fuckin' secret? - Tell Ruiz to shut the fuck up.
- Oh, my God.
Both of you shut the fuck up.
Jesus.
What the hell happened between you two, anyways? What happened is she's a cunt.
Gloria, I know that I fucked up, and I accept full responsibility for my actions.
I know forgiveness is going to take a long time or it might not even never come.
But I hope that one day we can at least have a civil conversation.
So Oh, now you tell me how that makes you feel and shit.
You wanna know how I feel? I feel like you're a ghetto Barbie from the 99¢ store.
We got Pregnant Maria, Gangbanger Maria, Jesus-Saves Maria, Whatever-Weird-Cult-This-Is Maria.
They're so cheap that if you don't like one, you could just throw it away and then get one next week.
Well, at least I'm trying to evolve, all right? And I own up to the shit I do, not like you.
Mother Superior, right? You can't even admit that you got me ten years by lying through your fucking teeth, can you? Shit.
That happened? Guess who's back? Better late than never.
At least they can help with the cleanup.
Flores? Shit.
It's like a fucking traitor convention up in here.
What is Ruiz doing here? Oh, my God.
So many opportunities to continue my work.
Ay, dios mÃo.
This is like a telenovela.
I feel like one of you is about to go into a coma.
Hey, what happened at the hearings? They're giving me time to reopen my criminal case.
It's good, 'cause it gives me a chance to fight this thanks to Karla and you guys.
Ay, nena, thank God.
What about you? Shit.
I'm so sorry.
All right, all right, back to work.
Karla, come with me.
I think you should let your boys know.
- Thank you.
- Just hurry up.
Hello? Hello? I'm Abel and Benji's mom.
Please don't hang up.
I won't cause any trouble.
I just want to know how they are.
They're fine.
They talk about you a lot.
Please.
Would you let me talk to them for a moment? You're on speaker.
Mama? - Mijo! - Where are you? Mama, they took our cat and my Pokémon cards.
When are you coming back? I'm working real hard on getting back to you, okay? I'm going to have to be away for a little while, but I'm coming back.
But when? I don't know yet, but soon.
You have to know that no matter what happens, no matter what anyone tells you, I will not stop until we're together again.
Will you be here for my birthday? If I'm not, it just means that I'm still on my way, okay? But it might take me a little while.
So, until then, you two need to take care of each other.
Remind each other to drink water and zip up your jackets.
And you know how when you were little and you'd get real angry or sad, we used to talk about using your words.
Well, you're gonna have to do that.
You're gonna have to tell people what you need.
If there's something you don't understand or if something hurts or if someone hurts you you're gonna need to speak up for yourselves, and for each other, because I won't be there to do it for you.
I love you both more than anything.
Never forget how much I love you.
Could you take one with my camera? Thank you.
Piper.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Are you kidding me? You're going to be such a treat to look at all evening.
You look beautiful.
I can't believe that this is your life.
Hardly.
It's fun to play dress-up every now and then.
Come.
Let me show you around, introduce you to my people.
Guys, this is Piper.
Piper, this is Andy, - our in-house design guru.
- Hello.
And this is Luz, our incredible photographer.
- Zelda, excuse me.
- I'll be right back, okay? So, you're the one Zelda won't shut up about.
Oh, no, no, no.
I doubt it.
- What? - Andy, not cool.
So, um, Piper, what do you do? I'm in accounting.
But I'm thinking of transitioning into something more meaningful.
Maybe in the nonprofit sector.
I love what Zelda does, what you two do.
Send me your resume and what you're interested in.
I always have friends looking for people.
- Wow.
Really? Thanks.
- Yeah.
- I'll take you up on that.
- Great.
Although, full disclosure, I've done time.
In prison.
As an inmate.
So, it might not be easy.
Oh.
Um That's So, uh, where'd they send you? Litchfield.
It's a federal penitentiary upstate.
Oh, I read about that place on the back cover of this book that just came out.
The one by that woman who baked cranberry bread with 50 Cent? Judy King wrote a memoir? Racy for an old swan.
I hope my stamina holds up half as well.
Evening, everyone.
Walking in, you probably noticed dozens of candles lighting your way.
Each one of those candles represents a Syrian child the Karam Foundation has helped this year.
Working alongside Lina and her team has taught me that no matter the setbacks, we must pick ourselves up and move forward.
We must continue to find hope despite despair.
The Karam Foundation doesn't just rebuild schools, it builds futures.
The Karam homes are environments that encourage invention and innovation, a sense of adventure and entrepreneurship.
Hey, uh, thank you for seeing me so late.
- Of course.
Are you feeling okay? - Sorry, it's been, uh, a long day.
A woman at the detention center I work in, I found out her pregnancy is a result of rape.
That is awful.
She wants an abortion, but ICE won't let her have one.
They care about the baby so much.
They want her to keep it, at least until they deport her and it's not their problem anymore.
I'm so sorry.
What am I doing, bringing a kid into a world that's so fucking fucked? What do you mean? I I don't want a baby.
Hey, Natalie, it's okay.
It's okay.
It's a big decision.
Why don't you sleep on it, talk to Joe? Your IVF isn't until Friday.
You have plenty of time to change your mind.
Actually, I don't.
- I'm nine weeks along.
- Natalie It's a Christmas miracle, except it's not Christmas and I don't want a miracle.
I know it is a lot to ask, but I am asking.
Please.
It's a pity you want an abortion, given how much you've spent on IVF.
What in Bob's name could be taking so long? My shift was over 15 minutes ago.
I got cheeseburger macaroni waitin' for me.
I'll put everything away.
We'll finish the rest tomorrow.
What the - Hello? - Hello? Is my mom there? What is your mother's name? Whose phone is this? How did you get the owner of De Beers to whip and nae nae? It's what I do, baby.
And you do it so well.
Zelda, that was so much fun.
Thank you so much.
So, are you gonna invite me in, so I can finally meet that lizard that lives in your closet? Is that a euphemism? Do you want it to be? Zelda, I do.
But I can't.
I'm sorry.
You do realize your inner conflict only makes me like you more, right? Jesus! What are you doing here? Does Alex know about her? What are you talking about? She thinks you're waiting for her, like a good little wife.
What I'm doing and what Alex is doing is none of your business.
Except it is.
If you don't get out of here right now, I'm gonna call the police.
She's ready to move on, you know.
With me.
Except she's scared of hurting you.
Meanwhile, you're out here, livin' the life.
You're fucking crazy.
How do you know where I live? Who do you think delivered the stupid parrot shirt Alex sent you? You built a new life for yourself, Chapman.
You should let Alex do the same.
What's gonna happen to us? That's for the warden to decide.
Your attorney's comin' tomorrow.
You, uh You all right? Yeah, I'm fine.
I thought marriage was supposed to last forever.
We was the perfect family.
How can he take my baby away? You still have family, okay? We're gonna get through this, okay? There's, uh There's some things that we need to talk about first.
This is from Shani.
I'm sorry.
What is it, honey? What is it? Hey.
So fucked up.
It's okay.
- What's wrong with her? - Got feisty.
Had to sedate her.
Might wanna dose her again in a few.
It's gonna be a long flight.
Move in.
Come on.
Go in.
Grab a bed.
Pick one.
Any one that's available.