Out With Dad (2010) s04e07 Episode Script
Out Clubbing
- My my ears are ringing.
- Mine too.
- I hate the club scene.
I'm sorry.
Thanks for coming out with me.
Your wing-man's skills leave a lot to be desired though.
Sorry, I don't know what I'm doing.
At least I had more fun than my date last week.
Oh yeah.
The online girl? - Awful.
- What happened? The look on her face when she saw my wheelchair.
Turns out - she didn't read my whole profile.
- Oh, dude! It's not the first time that's happened.
At least, she had the decency to say sorry on the way out.
You're joking?! It's why online dating is so frustrating.
Online dating is definitely not for me.
- You don't need it.
- I don't want it.
Hey, wait a minute.
What are you trying to say? A hot young thing like you? I bet guys and girls come and hit on you all the time.
Yeah, right.
Guys never hit on me.
Neither do girls really.
That's B.
S.
and you know it.
Tonight? You had plenty of guys and girls hitting on you.
No, they weren't.
- It was as if you were sending out a signal, - that you're single, and ready for taking.
That didn't happen.
Uh What about the gorgeous over-dressed guy? He was scoping out your body, the whole time.
He wouldn't leave you alone.
No, that guy, he is in my Ethics class.
We were just discussing He wanted in your pants.
Seriously we were just talking about ethics.
One does not simply talk ethics in a noisy bar.
His dark intentions were guarded by more than his charm.
There is an evil there that does want to sleep with you.
His watchful eye was forever on your feminine form.
His heart is a barren wasteland, - the very air you breath - OK.
OK.
I got it, Gandolf.
- Boromir! - Boromir fine, sorry.
- What about you? You were having some luck.
- What do you mean? What about that hot little number that was all over you? Her? She was hot, alright.
But that wasn't real.
You were practically making out! How was that not real? She was kissing.
She wasn't kissing me.
She was kissing a guy with no consequences.
It's fun in the moment.
But, it's empty.
Shit.
That's what I like about online dating.
You can weed out girls like her.
- There's gotta be another way.
- I don't know.
Blind dates? - Have you ever been set up on one? - No.
- I must know someone.
- I'm up for it.
- On one condition.
- What? Quid pro quo! Quid pro quo? No no-no; no no-no-no no-no.
No! Come on, you say you haven't dated anyone for three years? That's too long to be lamenting on break-up.
- It's pathethic.
- OK but what happened was Yayayaya.
Sad story.
Get over it! - Unless you're into that girl from tonight.
- Which girl? The one that was talking to you for like the last hour.
The girl with the shaved head? She was chatting with you for a while.
We were having a really good conversation.
She wouldn't pull herself away from you.
I don't even think she was gay.
Are you kidding me? She laughed at everything you said.
I was hilarious tonight.
- The unnecessary touching? - She was just being friendly.
She gave you her phone number.
She was into you.
- Text her! - What ? - Text her! - Text her about what? - Tell her you want to see her.
- I don't want to see her.
You don't want to see her? - Or you don't want to go on a date, period? - Not answering! - Text her! - And say what? I mean, how do you even ask someone out on a date in a text? So you admit it.
You do want to go on a date.
I'm not admitting anything.
What have you got to lose? I rest my case.
- Text her! - I'm not Oh She's perfect! Not shaved-head-girl! I just thought of someone that I could set you up with, on a blind date.
She's perfect.
I can't believe I didn't even think of her right away.
She's in she's in my Ethics class, funny enough.
Let's see some pics.
Uh, no! You don't get to be all judgy ahead of time.
- Come on.
- OK.
She's cute, alright.
Just trust me.
Please.
I'll agree to go out with ethics-girl if you agree to text shaved-head-girl.
Hey this is not a nego You'll agree to meet her? If you take your phone out right now and start typing.
"Hey" I don't even know her name.
And she didn't put it into my phone.
What is up with putting it in a phone? Just "Hey, cutie" , "Hey, beautiful" Hey you.
It's me, Rose.
We just met.
- Now what? - Hum Ask her if she is a wine or a beer or a coffee girl.
Ugh, I hate coffee.
Tea! I'll invite her out for tea.
Yeah, I guess that could work.
Would you care to join me for tea next week.
Question mark.
It would be nice to get to know you more.
Add X.
O.
to the end I'm not adding X.
O.
at the end.
Fine.
Read it out loud.
Hey, you.
It's me, Rose.
We just met.
Would you care to join me for tea next wink? "Wink"? "Week"! Would you care to join me for tea next week? It would be nice to get to know you more.
Cheers, Rose.
- I approve.
Hit "send".
- Sent.
Do you even have a gaydar? Yeah.
Me and gaydar? That's that's not a thing.
- Mine too.
- I hate the club scene.
I'm sorry.
Thanks for coming out with me.
Your wing-man's skills leave a lot to be desired though.
Sorry, I don't know what I'm doing.
At least I had more fun than my date last week.
Oh yeah.
The online girl? - Awful.
- What happened? The look on her face when she saw my wheelchair.
Turns out - she didn't read my whole profile.
- Oh, dude! It's not the first time that's happened.
At least, she had the decency to say sorry on the way out.
You're joking?! It's why online dating is so frustrating.
Online dating is definitely not for me.
- You don't need it.
- I don't want it.
Hey, wait a minute.
What are you trying to say? A hot young thing like you? I bet guys and girls come and hit on you all the time.
Yeah, right.
Guys never hit on me.
Neither do girls really.
That's B.
S.
and you know it.
Tonight? You had plenty of guys and girls hitting on you.
No, they weren't.
- It was as if you were sending out a signal, - that you're single, and ready for taking.
That didn't happen.
Uh What about the gorgeous over-dressed guy? He was scoping out your body, the whole time.
He wouldn't leave you alone.
No, that guy, he is in my Ethics class.
We were just discussing He wanted in your pants.
Seriously we were just talking about ethics.
One does not simply talk ethics in a noisy bar.
His dark intentions were guarded by more than his charm.
There is an evil there that does want to sleep with you.
His watchful eye was forever on your feminine form.
His heart is a barren wasteland, - the very air you breath - OK.
OK.
I got it, Gandolf.
- Boromir! - Boromir fine, sorry.
- What about you? You were having some luck.
- What do you mean? What about that hot little number that was all over you? Her? She was hot, alright.
But that wasn't real.
You were practically making out! How was that not real? She was kissing.
She wasn't kissing me.
She was kissing a guy with no consequences.
It's fun in the moment.
But, it's empty.
Shit.
That's what I like about online dating.
You can weed out girls like her.
- There's gotta be another way.
- I don't know.
Blind dates? - Have you ever been set up on one? - No.
- I must know someone.
- I'm up for it.
- On one condition.
- What? Quid pro quo! Quid pro quo? No no-no; no no-no-no no-no.
No! Come on, you say you haven't dated anyone for three years? That's too long to be lamenting on break-up.
- It's pathethic.
- OK but what happened was Yayayaya.
Sad story.
Get over it! - Unless you're into that girl from tonight.
- Which girl? The one that was talking to you for like the last hour.
The girl with the shaved head? She was chatting with you for a while.
We were having a really good conversation.
She wouldn't pull herself away from you.
I don't even think she was gay.
Are you kidding me? She laughed at everything you said.
I was hilarious tonight.
- The unnecessary touching? - She was just being friendly.
She gave you her phone number.
She was into you.
- Text her! - What ? - Text her! - Text her about what? - Tell her you want to see her.
- I don't want to see her.
You don't want to see her? - Or you don't want to go on a date, period? - Not answering! - Text her! - And say what? I mean, how do you even ask someone out on a date in a text? So you admit it.
You do want to go on a date.
I'm not admitting anything.
What have you got to lose? I rest my case.
- Text her! - I'm not Oh She's perfect! Not shaved-head-girl! I just thought of someone that I could set you up with, on a blind date.
She's perfect.
I can't believe I didn't even think of her right away.
She's in she's in my Ethics class, funny enough.
Let's see some pics.
Uh, no! You don't get to be all judgy ahead of time.
- Come on.
- OK.
She's cute, alright.
Just trust me.
Please.
I'll agree to go out with ethics-girl if you agree to text shaved-head-girl.
Hey this is not a nego You'll agree to meet her? If you take your phone out right now and start typing.
"Hey" I don't even know her name.
And she didn't put it into my phone.
What is up with putting it in a phone? Just "Hey, cutie" , "Hey, beautiful" Hey you.
It's me, Rose.
We just met.
- Now what? - Hum Ask her if she is a wine or a beer or a coffee girl.
Ugh, I hate coffee.
Tea! I'll invite her out for tea.
Yeah, I guess that could work.
Would you care to join me for tea next week.
Question mark.
It would be nice to get to know you more.
Add X.
O.
to the end I'm not adding X.
O.
at the end.
Fine.
Read it out loud.
Hey, you.
It's me, Rose.
We just met.
Would you care to join me for tea next wink? "Wink"? "Week"! Would you care to join me for tea next week? It would be nice to get to know you more.
Cheers, Rose.
- I approve.
Hit "send".
- Sent.
Do you even have a gaydar? Yeah.
Me and gaydar? That's that's not a thing.