Party Tricks (2014) s01e05 Episode Script
The Debate
You said I had the party's support.
I said what I had to say to get you a shot.
Now look at you, you've got a shot.
We have rich and rewarding lives.
I'm content.
I'm satisfied.
Late Edition.
They've got the story of you and David.
They're going to air it tomorrow night.
I also got this text from David, "May not be possible to deny.
" What? Is it sex? Money? Corruption? No, look, talk to David and then get back to me.
We're gonna go to air with it right after the debate on Wednesday night whether we get him or not.
You've never had any intention of denying.
And I think possibly this was always the strategy, to placate me and then fuck me over.
Gimme the story.
We could beat them.
There's still 30-something hours.
You break it first with a tell-all.
If you did want to beat Late Edition, you could break this on your own terms.
Tom, no.
Yeah.
Not from me.
He found out from a contact at Late Edition.
Did you confirm it? I guess I did, yes.
Geoff.
What is it? I had an affair.
With David McLeod.
Well, it's 7:45 and it's a beautiful day in Sydney.
We've got a clean run over the Cahill Expressway, southbound on the Harbour Bridge, minor traffic snarls on Parramatta Road near Glebe, but all clear through Cleveland Street and a good run through the tunnel.
Yes? My turn to head out first? Unless you want to come with me.
Not this time.
Oh, right.
So so next time, then? What would you do if I said yes? I'd say, "Great!" My situation's changed, I'm separated.
Great.
Is your world really that certain? Yep.
I want you.
I think you want me.
You're not happy in your marriage, so Well, I'm not unhappy.
Mm.
Not unhappy.
Oh, you've got your theories about Geoff and I, but there's more Kate.
Kate, there's a future for us.
You just have to choose it.
Mm.
I just Do you want to stop? No.
fon Why are you telling me this? Somehow, Late Edition found out about it.
Oh! And they're breaking the news tomorrow night after the debate.
In 24 hours, the whole world's going to know.
And, can I ask, is that the only reason you're telling me? Yes.
I would never have told you otherwise.
Because it was fleeting.
Are you telling me about this this fleeting affair because it's over between us? I don't want to lose you, Geoff.
Or your career.
No.
That either.
Which bit matters most? All of it.
OK.
How could you do this to us? It just It wasn't It wasn't about you.
Oh! What was it about him, then, that was so irresistible? And, how do you feel about him now? How do you feel about him now?! I wish I'd never met him.
We need some paper.
We got paper? What for? We're going to make a statement.
Don't you want to get some sleep? No, fuck that.
Who are you calling? Oh, I don't know.
I'm gonna have to have a shower.
Ollie's gonna be here in a minute.
Please don't call anyone.
Hello? I've been on the phone for the last hour, chasing down this Late Edition thing.
Yes? The story's about an affair that David had.
I spoke to Spadie, I said, "Come on, an affair? "That's just muck raking.
" But he reckons there's legitimate public interest.
So should I cancel the debate tonight? I mean, I can come up with an excuse.
I think that wouldn't be advisable.
Good.
That's what I think, too.
It's better to forge on.
But, Duncan, who did he have the affair with? The woman in question hosted a show with David for a time.
Tanya Keegan.
OK.
Thanks.
Morning.
Morning.
So, I just spoke to Duncan, and the Late Edition story is about your relationship with Tanya Keegan.
What? What's funny? That was nothing.
What was it? Well, it was private.
Nothing to do with the campaign.
Well, they wouldn't be running it if it was nothing.
Is there a child? Excuse me? There's gotta be something.
Did she have a baby, an abortion? No.
No, it wasn't like that at all.
Well, what was it like? Fuck's sake, Charlotte, it was a grope in a cupboard after a work do and then one time in a hotel room.
Sure, OK.
Well, I'm sorry to have to ask this, but the cupboard and the hotel, were they the same night? Separate nights and we were pissed both times.
And did you finish? Inside her? None of your business! I'm sorry, but Late Edition are running a story on this.
I actually DO need to know Condom! Consenting adults, OK? There was also one other time at her place, but that was it.
Right, and this was while you were married.
Separated.
You know I've got a debate to prepare for? Let's assume that Late Edition are gonna have all the sordid details.
We're gonna be fielding questions about blow jobs What are you talking about? Matilda.
Did you have sex with Tanya Keegan? Til What is going on? Why don't I step outside and give you two Hello? Did you have sex with Tanya Keegan? It's a simple question.
Yes, I did.
But When? A long time ago.
Sweetie, I know this No, don't call me sweetie.
Sorry.
How could you do that to Mum? Just just just calm down.
Your dad's got a big day of prepping for the debate Dad Dad, can you get her out, please? Charlotte, maybe You lied to me.
I feel sick.
No, Til.
Til! Til! Sorry, that was my fault.
But she is being dramatic.
You just head in to the office and I'll join you later on, OK? OK.
I'm sure an hour or so No.
No.
As long as this takes.
David, the debate's not a joke.
Neither is this.
Yes, but we're two weeks Back down now.
Morning, Kez.
Oh, morning, Ollie.
Hi.
Have you slept? Are you OK? Uh I'm far from OK.
But right now, I need you to go and be with my drunk husband.
Just sit with him.
We're not going to pre-empt the Late Edition story.
We're going to make a statement.
Some strong quotes for when the story breaks.
I just need you to manage Geoff.
Here's the updated brief of the debate prep.
I've strengthened the language around the transport corridor and there are some thoughts to clarify the education plan.
Thank you.
You are gonna be alright.
Yes.
Are we talking to Wayne? No.
I've Not yet.
I will.
Not this minute.
Please don't say anything to him.
Yeah.
Good luck.
Well, we're now in the final fortnight of what's been a very hard-fought election campaign, and tonight the first and only leaders' debate.
Premier Kate Ballard will take on Opposition candidate David McLeod.
It's sure to be a fascinating exchange.
And we're joined now on the phone by Premier Ballard.
Are you there, Premier? Good morning, John.
Good morning to you, Premier.
Lovely piece in the paper this morning about your private life with your husband.
Thank you.
But, Premier, you're usually a very private person.
This is true.
Well, it was a nice change.
So, are you looking forward to the debate tonight? Yes, I am.
I'm very excited about the debate tonight.
I'm looking forward to talking in depth about our transport plan and our uh our vision for the pathway forward.
Well, your opponent tonight in the debate And I'm also Sorry.
Sorry, do go on, Premier.
I'm also excited about the 7,000 new jobs it's going to create.
Your opponent tonight is a seasoned television presenter.
I'm talking of course about David McLeod.
Are you at all worried about that? Well, I'm seasoned, too, John.
But this is your first ever televised debate, Premier.
Would you agree with the theory There's a few options, as I see it.
Um the first is that you go to ground you say nothing, you let Kate handle it.
Your official position is 'no comment'.
I could massage that a bit.
Um "It's private and it's staying private.
" Or, um "This is a surprise.
" You know words to that effect.
"I'm deeply surprised.
" Has the benefit of being true.
There's strength in honesty.
Uh You knew about this.
You've known all along.
No, no.
Since when? Is she still seeing him? No.
Talking to him? There has been communication, yes.
Through me.
But it I'm here to help craft the message.
I can't speak for Kate, but I'm sure this is something she deeply regrets.
You think she might? You think she might regret this self-immolating sexual indiscretion that's about to ruin her career? You think she might regret that? You think she might regret that now I have no choice but to play a part in it? I have to stand in public with my pants off, and you think she might deeply regret that?! Uh James, if David was very late in today, how would that affect debate prep? How late? Let's talk worst-case scenario - like, as if he didn't make it in at all today and it was a complete write-off.
Could he still do the debate tonight? Is there a chance that might happen? I'm not sure yet.
He's dealing with a personal matter.
I would have serious concerns if we lost today.
He's good on health, and the hospital funding policy is solid, but Where are we weakest? We have a lot to do on transport.
We can't lose today.
And if we do are we fucked? Completely fucked.
OK.
James, I need you to distil everything here on the walls and up there in your head and put together a memo.
Two pages, bullet points, so that David can cram if he has to.
Lucas, can you follow me, please? Lucas, today is going to be one of the stranger days in your career.
Why? I'm moving you off the debate.
No! Yes.
No, listen to me.
If there's anything wrong with my work, you can tell me and I'll improve, but, please, don't fire me! I'm not firing you.
Pull yourself together.
Look, I'm giving you a job and I need you to do it without asking any questions.
This is about trust.
Do you know who Tanya Keegan is? Yeah, I think I can remember her.
Good.
Now, do me a favour - what's the gossip about her? Wikipedia, Facebook, Twitter.
Yeah.
Gossip.
Oh, and, Lucas - the worse, the better.
Kate and I are a team.
Kate and I are a team.
I knew all about her affair with McLeod, I've known for years.
It's great, it's strong.
It was bad.
It was a mistake.
I knew about it.
In fact I talked her into doing it.
Let's not go overboard.
I forced her.
"It was a difficult time, "and we worked through it.
"There are hard times in any marriage.
" Charlotte.
How's it going? Well, she still isn't out of the bathroom yet.
OK.
I'm getting the team to put together a crib sheet to send you.
OK.
Thanks.
I'll be waiting.
Who are you texting? Oh, it was just work stuff.
Do you want to sit down? Do you want some breakfast? Is that from him? False alarm.
"False alarm.
DM.
" This is the communication? Let me just find out what that means.
I'm guessing you have questions? Why Tanya Keegan? Til, I Shit.
Sorry, I really should take that.
Sorry.
Hello? Hi, David.
it's Oliver Parkham here.
Yeah, your text just came through.
"False alarm"? I'm just wondering what the No.
Geoff.
No! Piss face.
Ah I think I know who that is.
It's Geoff Ballard, you brainless, vacant little prick.
Geoff! You pencil-dick publicity slut whore.
Well, I certainly understand your feelings.
I'm gonna hunt you down.
Don't threaten him.
I'm gonna cut off your head and then, while you're dying, I'm gonna belt your dead face.
Hm, great.
Great.
Well, I hope you remember that on election day.
Mm-hm.
Bye-bye now.
Bye-bye.
Oh, my God.
Oh my God.
Ollie.
How's it going? The statement is going OK, but I got a text from David saying, "False alarm.
" What does "false alarm" mean? I don't know, but I called David and, uh What? Your husband took the phone from me and threatened to kill him.
Yeah, so, I'm going to try and fix it.
Ollie, stop trying to fix it, just stay with Geoff and Polish the statement.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Oh, yes.
Yes, yes, yes! Turn that frown upside down, Madam Premier, because that brilliant interview you did with your husband has dropped.
Bam! Power couple, happy.
We are going to win today and every day henceforth.
Paula's waiting.
Are we ready? Yes, we are.
The choice is between a balanced transport network with consolidation of services in the inner city counterpoised with expansion through development corridors in the north-west and south-east.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're barrelling.
Slow down a bit.
Hm.
You alright? You seem distracted.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Sorry, Wayne.
Take your time.
And smile.
You are the winner.
This government has been both rigorous and transparent in its selection process of contractors.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, ease up, chief.
Bit less iron fist.
What's the matter? Nothing.
I want WE want to spend $4.
2 billion over the next five years.
Stop.
What? I'm just I'm fine.
I just I want to practise.
Can you give us a minute.
You're going to be great.
What's up? Nothing.
You look like shit.
It's nothing.
Nothing.
Something's got into your head.
Kate, what's the matter? There's a story that's going to break and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
A story.
About you.
It's private.
And embarrassing.
Has Geoff cheated on you? No.
And this story is going to come out when? Before the election? And it's going to hurt us.
Kate, just tell me.
Let me help.
It's No, Paula, I can't.
Are you kidding me? What? We've got an election in five minutes.
All of us are working our tits off for you and YOU'VE decided to have a a scandal? I wasn't trying to No, no, of course you weren't trying to.
I don't want to know.
Shit.
The choice is between a balanced transport network with consolidation of services in the inner city, counterpoised with through expansion Hey.
This is a last-resort kind of call.
OK.
In your experience of news stories, what does "false alarm" mean? I got a text from David saying, "False alarm.
" I've no idea what that means.
Well, what COULD it mean? Uh it could mean that Late Edition is dropping the story.
Is that likely? No, they've been playing the promos all morning.
It's possible that David or someone that works for him is trying to bluff you, saying "false alarm" so you'll stop worrying about it.
Well, huge ask, I know, but I don't suppose you could find out what it means? I don't work for Kate Ballard.
No, but as a supportive partner you might.
No.
I've got to go.
Yeah, so do I.
See ya later.
Yep.
Fuck.
- Hi.
It's so good to see you both.
- Hey.
How are you, Til? Well, I'm angry at Dad but I still want him to win.
We've decided to do this together.
That's wonderful.
And you look great.
Sorry to hurry you along, I just need you to go through some last-minute debate prep.
Sure.
You going to be OK? Help yourself to some lollies.
Can I have some wine? I'm joking.
Our preparation room is ready.
I've organised your favourite jelly snakes and I'm wearing my lucky debate socks.
Uh, we're just down this way to Where's the Opposition? Far, far away.
Other end of the building.
Don't worry about them.
Alright.
Now, you, Premier, are going to charm, disarm and annihilate.
You seem confident.
I am! We are going to win today! He played first grade as well.
Hello, Kate.
Hello.
How are you? I'm well.
Kate.
David.
Um OK, these are the rules for the debate.
And we have to toss the coin, as well.
Yes.
Sorry, what's that for? Speaking order.
Right.
Heads.
It's tails.
I'll go second.
Are you sure? Yeah.
OK, good luck.
Have fun.
Thank you.
Thanks, Ray.
You know, we could be at the airport in 40 minutes on a plane.
You sent a message saying "false alarm" with no explanation.
You told Geoff about us.
I would apologise, but what the hell is happening tonight? It's not us, it's Tanya Keegan.
What about Tanya Keegan? Tanya Keegan and me.
Before or after us? Overlapping.
Great.
Look, it was early days, Kate.
While you and I Before we meant anything.
Are you serious? Can we talk about this later, please? No, I've just detonated my fucking marriage because you I never foresaw what you and I were going to be.
How many other women were there? Oh, Kate No, please, tell me.
Two.
Both insignificant.
See you out there in five minutes.
I've rephrased a few things for clarity, but don't feel like you have to stick to it word for word - you're good on your feet.
Antiquated, tired, outmoded - any chance you have to associate the Premier with, you know, oldness.
Yeah, they're old, we're new, fresh and minty.
Can I say we're minty? Uh um Have you had a productive day? Yeah, I'll take you through it.
OK.
Mr McLeod? Yeah.
When you're ready.
OK.
Thank you.
Wish me luck.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Thanks, mate.
OK.
David, just everything you do and say here tonight will tomorrow be seen in the context of the Late Edition story.
Great.
You'll no longer be the reliable, trustworthy family man, you'll be the man who got a blow job in the cupboard.
Right.
So, what do you suggest? Don't inflect yourself.
What does that mean? Gravitas - don't make jokes, don't be glib or offhand and do not, do not, do not be flirty.
Oh, but still be myself, right? Look, you've done a brilliant job, whatever happens, alright? OK.
Shoulders back.
Chin down.
Chin down.
Too much.
Good evening and welcome to Victoria Votes, the only live debate of the 2014 election campaign.
Victorian Labor, led by Premier Kate Ballard, seeks another term.
David McLeod is a new candidate for the Coalition leadership, but he's well known as a journalist and for his philanthropic work.
Now, the polls, I have to say, at this stage, are divided, maybe until tonight.
So, good evening Premier Ballard.
Good evening.
And good evening, Mr McLeod.
Ray, good to be here.
Alright, the rules of engagement are simple tonight.
After an opening question from me the leaders will have three minutes - Is she here? - You're late.
It's already started.
Has there been something that David McLeod has done or said that you admire? I certainly admire David for reinstating transport on the Coalition agenda.
Previous Opposition leaders have shown almost zero interest in public transport.
Well, don't go overboard there, Premier.
Mr McLeod? Tilla, can I talk to you? No, no.
It's important.
You've never had any formal media training but you're a very smart young woman.
Whatever.
No, no, no, listen to me.
In the next 24 hours, everyone in the country is going to be looking at you.
I didn't ask for that.
No, but if you're smart you'll see it as an opportunity.
Now, you have such a bright future.
You have to decide, "Am I going to sulk and be a victim "or am I going to control myself?" Those are your options.
Do you want people to feel sorry for you or do you want today to be the first day of your career? Ah, something's happening.
I think we probably should be watching this.
at stake in this election.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but no-one's ever voted for you, have they? Your answer, Mr McLeod? No, no.
Don't repeat the sound bite.
No-one has ever voted for me, but Shit! I would like to remind her that no-one's ever voted for her, either.
As Premier, that is.
She only got the top job because the previous premier stepped down.
I've worked for the people of my electorate for the last 15 years.
Years ago, Mr McLeod gave me a useful piece of media advice - he told me to undo my top button and lean forward over the podium.
This is the level of engagement that he brings to our state's political landscape.
A certain superficial flare, but absolutely no policy insight.
She's a shark.
A beautiful killing machine.
I think the conversations my opponent is referring to are the ones in which she conveyed to me how afraid she was of becoming premier and how unsuited she was to that position.
Are these the conversations you're talking about, Mrs Ballard? Look, over the past few years, as we all know, this government has become less and less transparent.
Oh? This government is tired, this government is not trusting.
This is rich.
This is perverse from you, when some, no, in fact all of your policies are dictated by Duncan Guthrie, aren't they? That's just not true.
Which ones aren't? Look, I make no secret about being Duncan Guthrie? Oliver, what's she doing? Did you tell her? No, but it's it's good.
and in the media, and when I am premier the state will benefit from those connections.
You're even more of a puppet than you know you are.
The Opposition's kingmaker, Duncan Guthrie, has business interests that stand to profit from your freeway plans.
Riverchild Industries, for example.
Sorry, with respect to Riverchild, they have an extensive track record in this industry in other capital cities.
Duncan Guthrie is a shareholder in the Olive Hills Rail Group, too.
Or didn't you know that? So either you're lying to us or you're the face that's been brought in to rubber-stamp a whole lot of contracts that will hugely benefit Duncan Guthrie.
Why isn't the moderator stopping it? Because it's good television.
time and time again that she cannot work with business.
To tell you the truth, her government has struggled for years with things that could have been fixed up, quite frankly, with a couple of phone calls.
A couple of phone calls? Now, that's a perfect example of the kind of self-aggrandising vanity we'd expect from a media personality.
Stick to the issue here, Kate.
You'd have to admit, this state would be far, far better served by a government that better understands business.
You are a storyteller, David McLeod, and you have used this election campaign to tell your story of being a faithful husband and a grieving widower that has turned your life around for the good of the state.
And that story, on every level, is untrue.
Premier, is there more? Isn't it? Alright, let's move on to talk about public health.
How did it feel out there? How do you think? The Premier might have scored some points against us, but, ultimately, the debate counts for very little.
Well, that's a great consolation prize.
Look, can we just slow down, please? In a couple of hours, all anyone's going to be talking about is your fling with Tanya Keegan.
Now, as much as it shits me to say it, you're going to be OK.
She'll get her second in the spotlight, but, at the end of the day, she's the one on her knees with your dick in her mouth.
You're a man behaving like a man, she's a slut.
Now, there's a silver lining here.
A silver lining? From now on, I want to know everything that's going on with Duncan Guthrie's business dealings and investments.
And whatever else he's got going on.
Alright? OK.
I do not want to be put in that position again.
Goodnight.
What was that? Do you think it was damaging? The Twitter feed is incredible, you won the debate.
You handed him his arse on a tray, with a sprig of parsley.
Like you were a cyborg from the future sent back in time to kill David McLeod.
It was amazing.
Can I have a word with you? The Late Edition story is nothing to do with me.
Nothing to do with me.
Tom said You've led me down this path.
I don't believe I've led you.
Yes, you've led me.
I And you let Tom lead you.
I have to ask, was any part of that deliberate? No.
Kate, I would never deliberately That is thoughtless! What should I have done differently? You SHOULD have made sure! Before you gave me no choice but to tell Geoff.
You should have made sure.
I WAS sure.
I understand you're angry.
You wanted a story to take to your boyfriend, and it has cost me.
I would fire you right now if it wasn't going to cause so much trouble.
That is the ONLY reason you're not fired.
Just another person I can't trust.
Now, you're sure you want to watch this? Well, everyone at school will have seen it by tomorrow.
I think I need to see it.
Well, just remember it's the media, so the truth is going to be twisted up.
Now, I'm sure they're going to say I left your mum for Tanya, but I need you to know that's not true, OK? OK.
So everything with a grain of salt.
and was David's co-host for over a year on breakfast television show Mornings Live.
You should have checked your facts.
That's your fucking job! What they told me was the contents of You told me you knew it was Kate and David! I didn't know David was sitting on multiple affairs.
Well, did it come from you? Did you see an opportunity and Is that what you think of me? Make me believe that you haven't traded us for some career move.
You know you've become this disciple to Kate.
Oh, we're close and you're threatened by our friendship.
Oh, your friendship? Oh, you think that it's real? It's not.
People like Kate Ballard don't have friends.
The Premier and the Opposition Leader had an affair - that's a real story, it's a killer story.
It's of genuine interest to the public.
It's the story of the year, and you gave it to me.
What does THAT mean? Wait.
What are you going to do?! He said, "If you end it, you're ending your career, too.
" He threatened you? I couldn't be the other woman.
His poor wife, she was sick.
She wasn't sick then.
But he did have his revenge.
After I broke it off, my contract with the show was terminated.
Her career self-destructed because she partied too hard and was a loose cannon.
David McLeod is presenting himself to the public as one thing, and I think the public has a right to know who they're voting for and what he did to me.
Tanya Keegan, thank you so much for your time this evening.
- Well, that was, um - .
.
bullshit.
Yeah.
Dad, I get it.
People need to understand that you struggled and that you and Mum were separated.
But when Mum got sick, you came back home.
You were there for both of us.
You never pretended to be perfect.
But you're a great dad.
And I always knew that you loved me.
Thank you, sweetheart.
You know, I could say that in an interview.
And I've got some tweets to go along with it - like, whatever suits the strategy.
Um Would you like me to go to a hotel? Why would I want that? I could sleep in the spare room.
No.
You can sleep here.
Who knows about this? Pardon? You, David McLeod, me, Ollie.
Ollie's boyfriend, Tom.
Journalist.
Excellent.
What about Wayne? No.
That's everyone.
No more contact with David McLeod.
I'm implicated in your bad decisions and I'll wear that, but you can't have any more contact with him.
I love you, Kate.
OK.
Did you love him? No.
fon
I said what I had to say to get you a shot.
Now look at you, you've got a shot.
We have rich and rewarding lives.
I'm content.
I'm satisfied.
Late Edition.
They've got the story of you and David.
They're going to air it tomorrow night.
I also got this text from David, "May not be possible to deny.
" What? Is it sex? Money? Corruption? No, look, talk to David and then get back to me.
We're gonna go to air with it right after the debate on Wednesday night whether we get him or not.
You've never had any intention of denying.
And I think possibly this was always the strategy, to placate me and then fuck me over.
Gimme the story.
We could beat them.
There's still 30-something hours.
You break it first with a tell-all.
If you did want to beat Late Edition, you could break this on your own terms.
Tom, no.
Yeah.
Not from me.
He found out from a contact at Late Edition.
Did you confirm it? I guess I did, yes.
Geoff.
What is it? I had an affair.
With David McLeod.
Well, it's 7:45 and it's a beautiful day in Sydney.
We've got a clean run over the Cahill Expressway, southbound on the Harbour Bridge, minor traffic snarls on Parramatta Road near Glebe, but all clear through Cleveland Street and a good run through the tunnel.
Yes? My turn to head out first? Unless you want to come with me.
Not this time.
Oh, right.
So so next time, then? What would you do if I said yes? I'd say, "Great!" My situation's changed, I'm separated.
Great.
Is your world really that certain? Yep.
I want you.
I think you want me.
You're not happy in your marriage, so Well, I'm not unhappy.
Mm.
Not unhappy.
Oh, you've got your theories about Geoff and I, but there's more Kate.
Kate, there's a future for us.
You just have to choose it.
Mm.
I just Do you want to stop? No.
fon Why are you telling me this? Somehow, Late Edition found out about it.
Oh! And they're breaking the news tomorrow night after the debate.
In 24 hours, the whole world's going to know.
And, can I ask, is that the only reason you're telling me? Yes.
I would never have told you otherwise.
Because it was fleeting.
Are you telling me about this this fleeting affair because it's over between us? I don't want to lose you, Geoff.
Or your career.
No.
That either.
Which bit matters most? All of it.
OK.
How could you do this to us? It just It wasn't It wasn't about you.
Oh! What was it about him, then, that was so irresistible? And, how do you feel about him now? How do you feel about him now?! I wish I'd never met him.
We need some paper.
We got paper? What for? We're going to make a statement.
Don't you want to get some sleep? No, fuck that.
Who are you calling? Oh, I don't know.
I'm gonna have to have a shower.
Ollie's gonna be here in a minute.
Please don't call anyone.
Hello? I've been on the phone for the last hour, chasing down this Late Edition thing.
Yes? The story's about an affair that David had.
I spoke to Spadie, I said, "Come on, an affair? "That's just muck raking.
" But he reckons there's legitimate public interest.
So should I cancel the debate tonight? I mean, I can come up with an excuse.
I think that wouldn't be advisable.
Good.
That's what I think, too.
It's better to forge on.
But, Duncan, who did he have the affair with? The woman in question hosted a show with David for a time.
Tanya Keegan.
OK.
Thanks.
Morning.
Morning.
So, I just spoke to Duncan, and the Late Edition story is about your relationship with Tanya Keegan.
What? What's funny? That was nothing.
What was it? Well, it was private.
Nothing to do with the campaign.
Well, they wouldn't be running it if it was nothing.
Is there a child? Excuse me? There's gotta be something.
Did she have a baby, an abortion? No.
No, it wasn't like that at all.
Well, what was it like? Fuck's sake, Charlotte, it was a grope in a cupboard after a work do and then one time in a hotel room.
Sure, OK.
Well, I'm sorry to have to ask this, but the cupboard and the hotel, were they the same night? Separate nights and we were pissed both times.
And did you finish? Inside her? None of your business! I'm sorry, but Late Edition are running a story on this.
I actually DO need to know Condom! Consenting adults, OK? There was also one other time at her place, but that was it.
Right, and this was while you were married.
Separated.
You know I've got a debate to prepare for? Let's assume that Late Edition are gonna have all the sordid details.
We're gonna be fielding questions about blow jobs What are you talking about? Matilda.
Did you have sex with Tanya Keegan? Til What is going on? Why don't I step outside and give you two Hello? Did you have sex with Tanya Keegan? It's a simple question.
Yes, I did.
But When? A long time ago.
Sweetie, I know this No, don't call me sweetie.
Sorry.
How could you do that to Mum? Just just just calm down.
Your dad's got a big day of prepping for the debate Dad Dad, can you get her out, please? Charlotte, maybe You lied to me.
I feel sick.
No, Til.
Til! Til! Sorry, that was my fault.
But she is being dramatic.
You just head in to the office and I'll join you later on, OK? OK.
I'm sure an hour or so No.
No.
As long as this takes.
David, the debate's not a joke.
Neither is this.
Yes, but we're two weeks Back down now.
Morning, Kez.
Oh, morning, Ollie.
Hi.
Have you slept? Are you OK? Uh I'm far from OK.
But right now, I need you to go and be with my drunk husband.
Just sit with him.
We're not going to pre-empt the Late Edition story.
We're going to make a statement.
Some strong quotes for when the story breaks.
I just need you to manage Geoff.
Here's the updated brief of the debate prep.
I've strengthened the language around the transport corridor and there are some thoughts to clarify the education plan.
Thank you.
You are gonna be alright.
Yes.
Are we talking to Wayne? No.
I've Not yet.
I will.
Not this minute.
Please don't say anything to him.
Yeah.
Good luck.
Well, we're now in the final fortnight of what's been a very hard-fought election campaign, and tonight the first and only leaders' debate.
Premier Kate Ballard will take on Opposition candidate David McLeod.
It's sure to be a fascinating exchange.
And we're joined now on the phone by Premier Ballard.
Are you there, Premier? Good morning, John.
Good morning to you, Premier.
Lovely piece in the paper this morning about your private life with your husband.
Thank you.
But, Premier, you're usually a very private person.
This is true.
Well, it was a nice change.
So, are you looking forward to the debate tonight? Yes, I am.
I'm very excited about the debate tonight.
I'm looking forward to talking in depth about our transport plan and our uh our vision for the pathway forward.
Well, your opponent tonight in the debate And I'm also Sorry.
Sorry, do go on, Premier.
I'm also excited about the 7,000 new jobs it's going to create.
Your opponent tonight is a seasoned television presenter.
I'm talking of course about David McLeod.
Are you at all worried about that? Well, I'm seasoned, too, John.
But this is your first ever televised debate, Premier.
Would you agree with the theory There's a few options, as I see it.
Um the first is that you go to ground you say nothing, you let Kate handle it.
Your official position is 'no comment'.
I could massage that a bit.
Um "It's private and it's staying private.
" Or, um "This is a surprise.
" You know words to that effect.
"I'm deeply surprised.
" Has the benefit of being true.
There's strength in honesty.
Uh You knew about this.
You've known all along.
No, no.
Since when? Is she still seeing him? No.
Talking to him? There has been communication, yes.
Through me.
But it I'm here to help craft the message.
I can't speak for Kate, but I'm sure this is something she deeply regrets.
You think she might? You think she might regret this self-immolating sexual indiscretion that's about to ruin her career? You think she might regret that? You think she might regret that now I have no choice but to play a part in it? I have to stand in public with my pants off, and you think she might deeply regret that?! Uh James, if David was very late in today, how would that affect debate prep? How late? Let's talk worst-case scenario - like, as if he didn't make it in at all today and it was a complete write-off.
Could he still do the debate tonight? Is there a chance that might happen? I'm not sure yet.
He's dealing with a personal matter.
I would have serious concerns if we lost today.
He's good on health, and the hospital funding policy is solid, but Where are we weakest? We have a lot to do on transport.
We can't lose today.
And if we do are we fucked? Completely fucked.
OK.
James, I need you to distil everything here on the walls and up there in your head and put together a memo.
Two pages, bullet points, so that David can cram if he has to.
Lucas, can you follow me, please? Lucas, today is going to be one of the stranger days in your career.
Why? I'm moving you off the debate.
No! Yes.
No, listen to me.
If there's anything wrong with my work, you can tell me and I'll improve, but, please, don't fire me! I'm not firing you.
Pull yourself together.
Look, I'm giving you a job and I need you to do it without asking any questions.
This is about trust.
Do you know who Tanya Keegan is? Yeah, I think I can remember her.
Good.
Now, do me a favour - what's the gossip about her? Wikipedia, Facebook, Twitter.
Yeah.
Gossip.
Oh, and, Lucas - the worse, the better.
Kate and I are a team.
Kate and I are a team.
I knew all about her affair with McLeod, I've known for years.
It's great, it's strong.
It was bad.
It was a mistake.
I knew about it.
In fact I talked her into doing it.
Let's not go overboard.
I forced her.
"It was a difficult time, "and we worked through it.
"There are hard times in any marriage.
" Charlotte.
How's it going? Well, she still isn't out of the bathroom yet.
OK.
I'm getting the team to put together a crib sheet to send you.
OK.
Thanks.
I'll be waiting.
Who are you texting? Oh, it was just work stuff.
Do you want to sit down? Do you want some breakfast? Is that from him? False alarm.
"False alarm.
DM.
" This is the communication? Let me just find out what that means.
I'm guessing you have questions? Why Tanya Keegan? Til, I Shit.
Sorry, I really should take that.
Sorry.
Hello? Hi, David.
it's Oliver Parkham here.
Yeah, your text just came through.
"False alarm"? I'm just wondering what the No.
Geoff.
No! Piss face.
Ah I think I know who that is.
It's Geoff Ballard, you brainless, vacant little prick.
Geoff! You pencil-dick publicity slut whore.
Well, I certainly understand your feelings.
I'm gonna hunt you down.
Don't threaten him.
I'm gonna cut off your head and then, while you're dying, I'm gonna belt your dead face.
Hm, great.
Great.
Well, I hope you remember that on election day.
Mm-hm.
Bye-bye now.
Bye-bye.
Oh, my God.
Oh my God.
Ollie.
How's it going? The statement is going OK, but I got a text from David saying, "False alarm.
" What does "false alarm" mean? I don't know, but I called David and, uh What? Your husband took the phone from me and threatened to kill him.
Yeah, so, I'm going to try and fix it.
Ollie, stop trying to fix it, just stay with Geoff and Polish the statement.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Oh, yes.
Yes, yes, yes! Turn that frown upside down, Madam Premier, because that brilliant interview you did with your husband has dropped.
Bam! Power couple, happy.
We are going to win today and every day henceforth.
Paula's waiting.
Are we ready? Yes, we are.
The choice is between a balanced transport network with consolidation of services in the inner city counterpoised with expansion through development corridors in the north-west and south-east.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're barrelling.
Slow down a bit.
Hm.
You alright? You seem distracted.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Sorry, Wayne.
Take your time.
And smile.
You are the winner.
This government has been both rigorous and transparent in its selection process of contractors.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, ease up, chief.
Bit less iron fist.
What's the matter? Nothing.
I want WE want to spend $4.
2 billion over the next five years.
Stop.
What? I'm just I'm fine.
I just I want to practise.
Can you give us a minute.
You're going to be great.
What's up? Nothing.
You look like shit.
It's nothing.
Nothing.
Something's got into your head.
Kate, what's the matter? There's a story that's going to break and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
A story.
About you.
It's private.
And embarrassing.
Has Geoff cheated on you? No.
And this story is going to come out when? Before the election? And it's going to hurt us.
Kate, just tell me.
Let me help.
It's No, Paula, I can't.
Are you kidding me? What? We've got an election in five minutes.
All of us are working our tits off for you and YOU'VE decided to have a a scandal? I wasn't trying to No, no, of course you weren't trying to.
I don't want to know.
Shit.
The choice is between a balanced transport network with consolidation of services in the inner city, counterpoised with through expansion Hey.
This is a last-resort kind of call.
OK.
In your experience of news stories, what does "false alarm" mean? I got a text from David saying, "False alarm.
" I've no idea what that means.
Well, what COULD it mean? Uh it could mean that Late Edition is dropping the story.
Is that likely? No, they've been playing the promos all morning.
It's possible that David or someone that works for him is trying to bluff you, saying "false alarm" so you'll stop worrying about it.
Well, huge ask, I know, but I don't suppose you could find out what it means? I don't work for Kate Ballard.
No, but as a supportive partner you might.
No.
I've got to go.
Yeah, so do I.
See ya later.
Yep.
Fuck.
- Hi.
It's so good to see you both.
- Hey.
How are you, Til? Well, I'm angry at Dad but I still want him to win.
We've decided to do this together.
That's wonderful.
And you look great.
Sorry to hurry you along, I just need you to go through some last-minute debate prep.
Sure.
You going to be OK? Help yourself to some lollies.
Can I have some wine? I'm joking.
Our preparation room is ready.
I've organised your favourite jelly snakes and I'm wearing my lucky debate socks.
Uh, we're just down this way to Where's the Opposition? Far, far away.
Other end of the building.
Don't worry about them.
Alright.
Now, you, Premier, are going to charm, disarm and annihilate.
You seem confident.
I am! We are going to win today! He played first grade as well.
Hello, Kate.
Hello.
How are you? I'm well.
Kate.
David.
Um OK, these are the rules for the debate.
And we have to toss the coin, as well.
Yes.
Sorry, what's that for? Speaking order.
Right.
Heads.
It's tails.
I'll go second.
Are you sure? Yeah.
OK, good luck.
Have fun.
Thank you.
Thanks, Ray.
You know, we could be at the airport in 40 minutes on a plane.
You sent a message saying "false alarm" with no explanation.
You told Geoff about us.
I would apologise, but what the hell is happening tonight? It's not us, it's Tanya Keegan.
What about Tanya Keegan? Tanya Keegan and me.
Before or after us? Overlapping.
Great.
Look, it was early days, Kate.
While you and I Before we meant anything.
Are you serious? Can we talk about this later, please? No, I've just detonated my fucking marriage because you I never foresaw what you and I were going to be.
How many other women were there? Oh, Kate No, please, tell me.
Two.
Both insignificant.
See you out there in five minutes.
I've rephrased a few things for clarity, but don't feel like you have to stick to it word for word - you're good on your feet.
Antiquated, tired, outmoded - any chance you have to associate the Premier with, you know, oldness.
Yeah, they're old, we're new, fresh and minty.
Can I say we're minty? Uh um Have you had a productive day? Yeah, I'll take you through it.
OK.
Mr McLeod? Yeah.
When you're ready.
OK.
Thank you.
Wish me luck.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Thanks, mate.
OK.
David, just everything you do and say here tonight will tomorrow be seen in the context of the Late Edition story.
Great.
You'll no longer be the reliable, trustworthy family man, you'll be the man who got a blow job in the cupboard.
Right.
So, what do you suggest? Don't inflect yourself.
What does that mean? Gravitas - don't make jokes, don't be glib or offhand and do not, do not, do not be flirty.
Oh, but still be myself, right? Look, you've done a brilliant job, whatever happens, alright? OK.
Shoulders back.
Chin down.
Chin down.
Too much.
Good evening and welcome to Victoria Votes, the only live debate of the 2014 election campaign.
Victorian Labor, led by Premier Kate Ballard, seeks another term.
David McLeod is a new candidate for the Coalition leadership, but he's well known as a journalist and for his philanthropic work.
Now, the polls, I have to say, at this stage, are divided, maybe until tonight.
So, good evening Premier Ballard.
Good evening.
And good evening, Mr McLeod.
Ray, good to be here.
Alright, the rules of engagement are simple tonight.
After an opening question from me the leaders will have three minutes - Is she here? - You're late.
It's already started.
Has there been something that David McLeod has done or said that you admire? I certainly admire David for reinstating transport on the Coalition agenda.
Previous Opposition leaders have shown almost zero interest in public transport.
Well, don't go overboard there, Premier.
Mr McLeod? Tilla, can I talk to you? No, no.
It's important.
You've never had any formal media training but you're a very smart young woman.
Whatever.
No, no, no, listen to me.
In the next 24 hours, everyone in the country is going to be looking at you.
I didn't ask for that.
No, but if you're smart you'll see it as an opportunity.
Now, you have such a bright future.
You have to decide, "Am I going to sulk and be a victim "or am I going to control myself?" Those are your options.
Do you want people to feel sorry for you or do you want today to be the first day of your career? Ah, something's happening.
I think we probably should be watching this.
at stake in this election.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but no-one's ever voted for you, have they? Your answer, Mr McLeod? No, no.
Don't repeat the sound bite.
No-one has ever voted for me, but Shit! I would like to remind her that no-one's ever voted for her, either.
As Premier, that is.
She only got the top job because the previous premier stepped down.
I've worked for the people of my electorate for the last 15 years.
Years ago, Mr McLeod gave me a useful piece of media advice - he told me to undo my top button and lean forward over the podium.
This is the level of engagement that he brings to our state's political landscape.
A certain superficial flare, but absolutely no policy insight.
She's a shark.
A beautiful killing machine.
I think the conversations my opponent is referring to are the ones in which she conveyed to me how afraid she was of becoming premier and how unsuited she was to that position.
Are these the conversations you're talking about, Mrs Ballard? Look, over the past few years, as we all know, this government has become less and less transparent.
Oh? This government is tired, this government is not trusting.
This is rich.
This is perverse from you, when some, no, in fact all of your policies are dictated by Duncan Guthrie, aren't they? That's just not true.
Which ones aren't? Look, I make no secret about being Duncan Guthrie? Oliver, what's she doing? Did you tell her? No, but it's it's good.
and in the media, and when I am premier the state will benefit from those connections.
You're even more of a puppet than you know you are.
The Opposition's kingmaker, Duncan Guthrie, has business interests that stand to profit from your freeway plans.
Riverchild Industries, for example.
Sorry, with respect to Riverchild, they have an extensive track record in this industry in other capital cities.
Duncan Guthrie is a shareholder in the Olive Hills Rail Group, too.
Or didn't you know that? So either you're lying to us or you're the face that's been brought in to rubber-stamp a whole lot of contracts that will hugely benefit Duncan Guthrie.
Why isn't the moderator stopping it? Because it's good television.
time and time again that she cannot work with business.
To tell you the truth, her government has struggled for years with things that could have been fixed up, quite frankly, with a couple of phone calls.
A couple of phone calls? Now, that's a perfect example of the kind of self-aggrandising vanity we'd expect from a media personality.
Stick to the issue here, Kate.
You'd have to admit, this state would be far, far better served by a government that better understands business.
You are a storyteller, David McLeod, and you have used this election campaign to tell your story of being a faithful husband and a grieving widower that has turned your life around for the good of the state.
And that story, on every level, is untrue.
Premier, is there more? Isn't it? Alright, let's move on to talk about public health.
How did it feel out there? How do you think? The Premier might have scored some points against us, but, ultimately, the debate counts for very little.
Well, that's a great consolation prize.
Look, can we just slow down, please? In a couple of hours, all anyone's going to be talking about is your fling with Tanya Keegan.
Now, as much as it shits me to say it, you're going to be OK.
She'll get her second in the spotlight, but, at the end of the day, she's the one on her knees with your dick in her mouth.
You're a man behaving like a man, she's a slut.
Now, there's a silver lining here.
A silver lining? From now on, I want to know everything that's going on with Duncan Guthrie's business dealings and investments.
And whatever else he's got going on.
Alright? OK.
I do not want to be put in that position again.
Goodnight.
What was that? Do you think it was damaging? The Twitter feed is incredible, you won the debate.
You handed him his arse on a tray, with a sprig of parsley.
Like you were a cyborg from the future sent back in time to kill David McLeod.
It was amazing.
Can I have a word with you? The Late Edition story is nothing to do with me.
Nothing to do with me.
Tom said You've led me down this path.
I don't believe I've led you.
Yes, you've led me.
I And you let Tom lead you.
I have to ask, was any part of that deliberate? No.
Kate, I would never deliberately That is thoughtless! What should I have done differently? You SHOULD have made sure! Before you gave me no choice but to tell Geoff.
You should have made sure.
I WAS sure.
I understand you're angry.
You wanted a story to take to your boyfriend, and it has cost me.
I would fire you right now if it wasn't going to cause so much trouble.
That is the ONLY reason you're not fired.
Just another person I can't trust.
Now, you're sure you want to watch this? Well, everyone at school will have seen it by tomorrow.
I think I need to see it.
Well, just remember it's the media, so the truth is going to be twisted up.
Now, I'm sure they're going to say I left your mum for Tanya, but I need you to know that's not true, OK? OK.
So everything with a grain of salt.
and was David's co-host for over a year on breakfast television show Mornings Live.
You should have checked your facts.
That's your fucking job! What they told me was the contents of You told me you knew it was Kate and David! I didn't know David was sitting on multiple affairs.
Well, did it come from you? Did you see an opportunity and Is that what you think of me? Make me believe that you haven't traded us for some career move.
You know you've become this disciple to Kate.
Oh, we're close and you're threatened by our friendship.
Oh, your friendship? Oh, you think that it's real? It's not.
People like Kate Ballard don't have friends.
The Premier and the Opposition Leader had an affair - that's a real story, it's a killer story.
It's of genuine interest to the public.
It's the story of the year, and you gave it to me.
What does THAT mean? Wait.
What are you going to do?! He said, "If you end it, you're ending your career, too.
" He threatened you? I couldn't be the other woman.
His poor wife, she was sick.
She wasn't sick then.
But he did have his revenge.
After I broke it off, my contract with the show was terminated.
Her career self-destructed because she partied too hard and was a loose cannon.
David McLeod is presenting himself to the public as one thing, and I think the public has a right to know who they're voting for and what he did to me.
Tanya Keegan, thank you so much for your time this evening.
- Well, that was, um - .
.
bullshit.
Yeah.
Dad, I get it.
People need to understand that you struggled and that you and Mum were separated.
But when Mum got sick, you came back home.
You were there for both of us.
You never pretended to be perfect.
But you're a great dad.
And I always knew that you loved me.
Thank you, sweetheart.
You know, I could say that in an interview.
And I've got some tweets to go along with it - like, whatever suits the strategy.
Um Would you like me to go to a hotel? Why would I want that? I could sleep in the spare room.
No.
You can sleep here.
Who knows about this? Pardon? You, David McLeod, me, Ollie.
Ollie's boyfriend, Tom.
Journalist.
Excellent.
What about Wayne? No.
That's everyone.
No more contact with David McLeod.
I'm implicated in your bad decisions and I'll wear that, but you can't have any more contact with him.
I love you, Kate.
OK.
Did you love him? No.
fon