Patriot (2015) s02e06 Episode Script
Fuck John Wayne
1 MAN: All right, man versus dog.
My advice: open your mind.
Each of you weighs average of, what 180 pounds.
Your average dog: 80 pounds, man.
So if you fought an 80-pound dude, you'd spend half of it laughing and all of it fucking that little motherfucker up.
So, approach it like you're fighting a little, weird 80-pound man with powerful jaws.
Let's talk technique.
One that works well simply allow your dog opponent to clamp down on a lesser-used limb, like, say, your left arm, which allows you four minutes to beat the fucking shit out of 'em with your advantaged right hand.
K.
O.
You guys know what that is? Knock out! Brain damage.
That's what "K.
O.
" fucking means.
You render their fucking brains damaged until they lose consciousness.
So, fight the fucking dog like a fucking dog and go right at his ass and let him bite a lesser limb.
Then knock the little motherfucker out by punching him in the fucking little dog head, where his little fuckin' dog brain is! They're trained to take you down, so I'm training you to take them down, which I pretty much just did.
All right, uh, please turn to page nine, and we'll learn how to knock a woman unconscious with a bicycle.
["SURE SHOT" BY BEASTIE BOYS PLAYING.]
'Cause you can't you won't, and you don't stop Well, you can't you won't, and you don't stop Mike D, come and rock the sure shot I've got the brand-new doo-doo Guaranteed like Yoo-hoo I'm on like Dr.
John yeah, Mr.
Zu Zu I'm a newlywed I'm not a divorcée, yeah And everything I do is funky like Lee Dorsey Well, it's The Taking of the Pelham One Two Three If you want a doo-doo rhyme then come see me I've got the savoir faire with the unique rhymin' I keep it on and on it's never quittin' time and Strictly handheld is the style I go Never rock the mic with the pantyhose I strap on my ear goggles and I'm ready to go 'Cause at the boards is the man they call the Mario Pull up at the function and you know I Kojak To all the party people that are on my bozack I've got more action than my man John Woo And I've got mad hits like I was Rod Carew, yeah Because you can't you won't, and you don't stop Because you can't you won't, and you don't stop Oh, well, you can't you won't, and you don't stop I keep my underwear up with a piece of elastic Use a bullshit mic that's made out of plastic To send my rhymes out to all the nations Like Ma Bell I got the ill communication 'Cause you can't you won't, and you don't stop 'Cause you can't you won't, and you don't stop Well, you can't, you won't, and you don't stop Keep on and rockin' the sure shot.
[PAPERS RUSTLING.]
[CARS WHOOSH, HORNS HONK IN DISTANCE.]
I'm gonna be the only one wearing a tie, Mom.
How long has it been since you've changed your clothes? Oh, three days.
Something.
Well, when's the last time you had some time off with your wife? Long time.
Well then put some effort into it.
You're very handsome.
Thanks.
Neither was John Wayne, by the way.
WOMAN: I'm sorry? John Wayne was not John Wayne, by the way.
John Wayne was not John Wayne? His name was Marion Morrison.
John Wayne's a fake name.
He also shirked World War II.
Flat feet.
Then pretended to fight in it, bravely.
Which makes him, in my book, a jerk.
My guess is that lots of dead guys were flat feet in Flanders field, you know, and elsewhere.
There's a There's a condition that young men who are exposed to the serial violence you find in war suffer from.
They snap under the weight of the the pressure of having to remain brave and to not indicate, you know, personal suffering and pain.
It's called the John Wayne Syndrome.
I used to have this T-shirt.
My workout shirt.
See, it hurts to exercise the remaining portion of my right leg because there's-there's atrophy.
Moving around, it's [CHUCKLES.]
it's an ordeal.
And you can see it on my face when I exercise.
I used to be ashamed of that.
Then I took out a magic marker and I wrote, "Fuck John Wayne" on this fucking T-shirt I'm talking about.
And that allowed me to be less tender about people here and there seeing me suffering.
You have to find a way to-to relieve that pain, or-or you'll be one of those kids who breaks and doesn't come back.
You must be Rob Saperstein.
Why? You look like someone my son would really like.
Oh, okay.
Cool.
Tom Tavner.
Okay.
All right.
You ready? Oh, yeah.
I'm ready.
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's Come on.
R.
I.
P.
, John Lakeman.
- R.
I.
P.
- R.
I.
P.
- R.
I.
P.
- Hear, hear.
- R.
I.
P.
- Cheers.
JOHN: R.
I.
P.
Hey, Ron.
- Drink.
- I can't.
I got to track shit all the time.
- Just one.
- Uh, staying sharp.
- No.
- Half? Staying sharp.
Thank you.
What was the hardest part? Of being Lakeman? The technical terms.
Uh, knuckle hamplers and tamped patch prim fixtures, - and - EDWARD: He's drunk already.
Those are real words, man, right? Yeah, they are.
They're real.
[LAUGHING.]
: He's so drunk.
Ooh, maybe he'll dance.
ALICE: Oh, that would be so good.
EDWARD: Are you gonna dance later, guy? I'm not that bad, man.
[EDWARD CHUCKLES.]
EDWARD: You are the worst dancer in the world.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
And I have been all over the world, on committees and stuff, as a future former congressman.
[ALICE LAUGHS.]
You're the worst.
Like, globally.
He-he dances like Bruce Springsteen when he dragged that girl from Friends onto the stage.
Doesn't he? Yeah, a little bit.
But I like it.
I like it, though.
EDWARD: Yeah, right.
Hey, hey.
Let's get in a fight.
What? Let's get in a fight with some other guys.
Uh, like, another group.
Man, Gregory gets violent when he drinks.
- [SOFT LAUGHTER.]
- Did you You're so peaceful, normally, man.
And you're kind of violent, normally.
And when you get drunk, you're pretty peaceful.
Yeah, you do get really sweet when you get drunk.
I want to dance.
Fuck, yeah.
Oh, my God! Watch this.
["DIS MOI" BY KAD ACHOURI PLAYING.]
How did you know? To-to find me? We were on a boat.
A boat ride, and he mentioned you.
Oh, cool.
Some kind of splash deal when you were together.
- Oh.
- He said you two had fun.
- [LAUGHING.]
: Cool.
- Yeah.
Uh, Afternoon Splash.
Oh, well, cool.
That's that's not exactly right, but-but I get it.
Well go have fun.
Oh.
O-Okay.
["COMMANDO FADA" BY MASSILIA PLAYING.]
- Hey, man.
- Yeah, man? I was scared, man.
- About what, man? - You, man.
Your message "Double Great," man.
Yeah.
That was Yeah.
I'm in bad shape.
Me, too.
Emotionally.
And physically, too, I guess, which What? Which You know, I don't know.
It's not a bad thing, I-I guess, under some circumstances.
Which circumstances? Only when you try and hang yourself from your kayak and it-it can't support your weight, and Because it has a crack.
Circumstances like that.
I'm glad you're still here.
[GRUNTS.]
: Eh.
"Ring the bells that still can ring.
"Forget your perfect offering.
"There's a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.
" I learned this from Icabod.
It's pretty cool.
Shh.
["DEATH OF A CLOWN" BY THE KINKS PLAYING.]
My makeup is dry And it cracks round my chin I'm drowning my sorrows In whiskey and gin The lion tamer's whip Doesn't crack anymore The lions, they won't fight And the tigers won't roar Ooh, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la So let's all drink To the death of a clown Won't someone help me To break up this crown Let's all drink To the death of a clown Ooh, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Let's all drink To the death of a clown La, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la All right.
La, la, la, la La, la, la [SONG FADES OUT.]
WOMAN: So at what point that day did it become the plan to pool your money together and go and buy the accordion boy? After laser tag.
I want to recant that.
May I? It was after we roved to the park, and were at a particular café together, drinking.
After we were at a particular pub, drinking.
Before laser tag.
And whose idea was it? Um I thi-I think it was John Lakeman's.
I think it would've been John's, that day.
I recall, clearly, that day, he was full of warm feelings and pilsners.
I bet we could do it.
How much can buying a kid cost, anyway? Not, like, a million.
How much can buying a kid cost, Icabod? I don't know, I've never bought a kid before, John.
[LAUGHS.]
I think, like, 1,800 bucks, ballpark.
We're, like, a hundred bucks short.
I got a hundred euro.
Cool.
No, I no, I mean, in in my whole life.
But it's for freedom.
- Yeah! - EDWARD: Yeah! ["THE WAY" BY NEIL YOUNG PLAYING.]
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh The way, we know the way We've seen the way We'll show the way to get you back home To the peace where you belong If you're lost and think you can't be found We know the way We've got the way We'll lead the way to get you back home To the peace where you belong The way, we know the way We've seen the way We'll show the way to get you back home To the peace where you belong That fuckin' dude right there.
[OTHERS CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
[SNIFFS.]
Why is he still with us? I think he thinks we own him now or something.
ALICE: I'll explain it to him.
Do you speak English? I speak Romanian.
No way.
How many different languages you speak, Dennis? If there's oil there, then yeah, I can speak the language, pretty much.
Cool.
Tell him he's free.
He doesn't have to stay with us.
He can just run free.
- Did you tell him he can go? - Yeah.
Why didn't he go? I don't know.
Maybe he feels a bond or something.
Say mean things to him.
Like like, you never liked him anyway.
Just, you know Like in the movies.
Like-like-like-like, he's a movie horse.
[LAUGHING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[LAUGHING, CHEERING.]
ALICE: Run! Run, movie horse! You see that? The day kind of dipped a little.
Little bit.
Anybody want to try to score some more weed? Good thinking.
You think y-you're a good dancer? [CHUCKLES.]
I never said I was a good dancer.
I said you are a bad dancer.
Y-You don't like my moves? You don't have any moves.
F-Feeling good.
That's not a move.
Well well, what is it, then? GLENN: John Lakeman.
John Lakeman.
JOHN: What? John Lakeman, I'm Sergeant Glenn Perdue.
Milwaukee Police Department.
Can I ask you some questions? Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck.
Fuck, man, this is kind of a th-thing here.
- What? - Fuck.
I got to, like, es-escape from the situation.
Can you do something to the normal guy? Like what? Like, fuck him up or something? And then we can run away from the other guys.
'Cause I'm really fast, and you guys are probably normal fast.
And they're not going to be, 'cause that one's tiny, and he has to, like, take twice as many strides as the rest of us.
And that one one guy's got one leg.
JOHN: Yeah.
All right.
Wha What? [CHUCKLES.]
Go knock out the normal guy.
Nah.
Wh-Why? H-He's not normal.
He just looks normal.
Nah, I don't I don't want to.
[WHISPERS.]
: Hey.
Gregory will fuckin' do it.
[LAUGHING.]
Yeah.
He he got all riled up there before.
Hey, Gregory? Yeah.
Yeah.
- Hey.
- What's up? These-these guys, uh - What? - These guys were saying some fucked-up shit about you, man.
What were they saying? Um what do you care about? Like, in my life? Yeah.
Like, my hobbies? Yeah, okay.
Well, I collect and assemble miniature train sets, tracks and small-scale replica villages.
These guys said that was fucked up.
These guys? JOHN: Yeah.
Yeah, they said that was really fucked up.
Just now.
You should fight them.
Train kits? Yeah.
- Like, how? - Like What? Like, how is collecting and assembling train kits fucked up? Like all the ways.
They were just really down on it, man.
EDWARD: They were so down on train kits, man.
- Fuck that.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Fuck that, man.
Which one said it? The normal one.
EDWARD: Go fuck him up.
Then we got to run.
All right.
Remember I said we should fight some other guys? - We're doing it.
- Yeah, we're doing it.
Go do it.
Motherfucker.
- Trains! - [THUMP.]
[LAUGHING.]
["NO PLACE TO FALL".]
[BY TOWNES VAN ZANDT PLAYING.]
Well, if I had no place to fall - [TIRES SCREECH.]
- And I needed to Could I count on you - Holy shit.
- You like trains.
- I like trains.
- You fuckin' killed him, man.
- He did it.
- JOHN: Oh, hey, check it out.
Oh, fuck.
[GUYS LAUGHING.]
Well, I'd never tell you no lies I don't believe it's wise You got pretty eyes Won't you spin me round? Get a cab.
Get a cab.
I ain't much of Get in.
I'm here, then I'm gone And I'm forever blue [LAUGHING.]
But I'm sure wanting you - [LAUGHING.]
- Hey! - Yeah! - I love him! - Yes! - [THUMP.]
Oh, that's a great bachelor party.
Let's see where everyone else went.
- You good to rove? - Good to rove, yeah.
- Weird.
- What? - That was weird.
- Yeah.
Yeah, that was weird.
Yeah.
Hey, close the door.
- What? - Close your door.
We're going, like, 40 miles an hour here.
- Close your door.
- Oh, yeah.
Thanks.
That was a good safety tip, man.
Thanks.
What? That was a good safety tip, man.
Thanks.
And if we help each other grow While the light of day Smiles down our way [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Then we can't go wrong Well, time She's a fast, old train She's here then she's gone And she won't come again Won't you take my hand? Well, if I had no place to fall And I needed to Could I count on you To lay me down? Fuck.
I can't be pay the rent.
Um, but you have to pay the rent.
[LAUGHS.]
No, no, no.
- But I-I can't pay the rent.
- The girl goes up here.
- The girl? - Yeah.
- Ah.
- This one's the mean guy.
- Oh, this is the mean guy.
- And then this is the guy who can pay the rent.
- The Okay.
- Okay.
John.
His whole group.
All of them? They're leaving at 1:00 a.
m.
.
- Tonight? - They fly yeah, all of them out of Paris at 1:00.
Cantar Walley? All of them.
Something changed.
I'll brief Tom.
[PHONE DINGS.]
[PHONE VIBRATES.]
Hello? Yeah.
I have to leave in a little while.
- John.
- Hey.
- You've been drinking.
- Yeah.
- And you've been taking - What? pain medicine.
You're all fucked up.
John, you're all fucked up.
Well, it doesn't have to be over.
I can still stay for an hour or so, like an hour and a half.
I have to take off soon for something, Ed.
- Tonight? - Yeah.
It's my bachelor party.
Yeah.
I have, like, another 45 minutes, man.
- It's my bachelor party.
- Yeah.
You're fucked up.
What? You're fucked up.
Okay.
So what are you going to do? What are you talking about? Tonight, you're fucked up.
You're drunk and stoned.
Okay.
So when you're fucked up, you should just go home or stay out and get more fucked up.
But you shouldn't go out and do other shit, I'm saying.
It's a good saying.
So, what are you going to do tonight, I'm saying? I'm gonna take these mouse earrings, these little mouse earrings.
I'm gonna break this window.
John.
Careful, Mouse.
This way.
[GRUNTS.]
Shit, I Shit.
I lost one of my mouse earrings.
Help me find them, man.
What the fuck are you doing? JOHN: Oh, there it is.
Cool.
EDWARD: What are you doing, man? Just picking up my mouse earrings.
No, I mean, what are you doing with those? That's her.
Who's she? She's a policeman from the finger store, the little finger store.
I want to give her these little mouse things.
Earrings.
Why? Why what? Why do you want to give that lady earrings? Because I-I made her blind.
Okay, John, you're drunk.
- Get out of m-my way, man.
- No.
I don't-I don't care, I'll just fucking chuck 'em over to her.
Do not chuck earrings at a cop.
JOHN: Pardon, sir.
I'm sorry.
Why you are throwing things? They're mouse earrings.
What? I'm sorry, they're mouse earrings.
So what? [SPEAKING FRENCH.]
EDWARD: I don't want you going off by yourself.
JOHN: I am.
EDWARD: No, you're not.
I'm going.
Yeah, well, you're not going by yourself.
I told you once about helping me.
Yeah, and I just told you you're not going alone, so ["NO FUTURE" BY TITUS ANDRONICUS PLAYING.]
But I don't want to live in it Fat guy in a little coat.
There is not a doctor That can diagnose me I am dying slowly From Patrick Stickles Disease There is not a medication That can cure what's ailing me The only treatment they offer Is to hang me from a tree 'Cause life's been a long, sick game Of "Would You Rather" So now I'm going to medical school As a cadaver And if I could say Only one thing With the whole world listening It would be "Leave me the fuck alone" Or "Welcome to the Terrordome.
"
My advice: open your mind.
Each of you weighs average of, what 180 pounds.
Your average dog: 80 pounds, man.
So if you fought an 80-pound dude, you'd spend half of it laughing and all of it fucking that little motherfucker up.
So, approach it like you're fighting a little, weird 80-pound man with powerful jaws.
Let's talk technique.
One that works well simply allow your dog opponent to clamp down on a lesser-used limb, like, say, your left arm, which allows you four minutes to beat the fucking shit out of 'em with your advantaged right hand.
K.
O.
You guys know what that is? Knock out! Brain damage.
That's what "K.
O.
" fucking means.
You render their fucking brains damaged until they lose consciousness.
So, fight the fucking dog like a fucking dog and go right at his ass and let him bite a lesser limb.
Then knock the little motherfucker out by punching him in the fucking little dog head, where his little fuckin' dog brain is! They're trained to take you down, so I'm training you to take them down, which I pretty much just did.
All right, uh, please turn to page nine, and we'll learn how to knock a woman unconscious with a bicycle.
["SURE SHOT" BY BEASTIE BOYS PLAYING.]
'Cause you can't you won't, and you don't stop Well, you can't you won't, and you don't stop Mike D, come and rock the sure shot I've got the brand-new doo-doo Guaranteed like Yoo-hoo I'm on like Dr.
John yeah, Mr.
Zu Zu I'm a newlywed I'm not a divorcée, yeah And everything I do is funky like Lee Dorsey Well, it's The Taking of the Pelham One Two Three If you want a doo-doo rhyme then come see me I've got the savoir faire with the unique rhymin' I keep it on and on it's never quittin' time and Strictly handheld is the style I go Never rock the mic with the pantyhose I strap on my ear goggles and I'm ready to go 'Cause at the boards is the man they call the Mario Pull up at the function and you know I Kojak To all the party people that are on my bozack I've got more action than my man John Woo And I've got mad hits like I was Rod Carew, yeah Because you can't you won't, and you don't stop Because you can't you won't, and you don't stop Oh, well, you can't you won't, and you don't stop I keep my underwear up with a piece of elastic Use a bullshit mic that's made out of plastic To send my rhymes out to all the nations Like Ma Bell I got the ill communication 'Cause you can't you won't, and you don't stop 'Cause you can't you won't, and you don't stop Well, you can't, you won't, and you don't stop Keep on and rockin' the sure shot.
[PAPERS RUSTLING.]
[CARS WHOOSH, HORNS HONK IN DISTANCE.]
I'm gonna be the only one wearing a tie, Mom.
How long has it been since you've changed your clothes? Oh, three days.
Something.
Well, when's the last time you had some time off with your wife? Long time.
Well then put some effort into it.
You're very handsome.
Thanks.
Neither was John Wayne, by the way.
WOMAN: I'm sorry? John Wayne was not John Wayne, by the way.
John Wayne was not John Wayne? His name was Marion Morrison.
John Wayne's a fake name.
He also shirked World War II.
Flat feet.
Then pretended to fight in it, bravely.
Which makes him, in my book, a jerk.
My guess is that lots of dead guys were flat feet in Flanders field, you know, and elsewhere.
There's a There's a condition that young men who are exposed to the serial violence you find in war suffer from.
They snap under the weight of the the pressure of having to remain brave and to not indicate, you know, personal suffering and pain.
It's called the John Wayne Syndrome.
I used to have this T-shirt.
My workout shirt.
See, it hurts to exercise the remaining portion of my right leg because there's-there's atrophy.
Moving around, it's [CHUCKLES.]
it's an ordeal.
And you can see it on my face when I exercise.
I used to be ashamed of that.
Then I took out a magic marker and I wrote, "Fuck John Wayne" on this fucking T-shirt I'm talking about.
And that allowed me to be less tender about people here and there seeing me suffering.
You have to find a way to-to relieve that pain, or-or you'll be one of those kids who breaks and doesn't come back.
You must be Rob Saperstein.
Why? You look like someone my son would really like.
Oh, okay.
Cool.
Tom Tavner.
Okay.
All right.
You ready? Oh, yeah.
I'm ready.
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's Come on.
R.
I.
P.
, John Lakeman.
- R.
I.
P.
- R.
I.
P.
- R.
I.
P.
- Hear, hear.
- R.
I.
P.
- Cheers.
JOHN: R.
I.
P.
Hey, Ron.
- Drink.
- I can't.
I got to track shit all the time.
- Just one.
- Uh, staying sharp.
- No.
- Half? Staying sharp.
Thank you.
What was the hardest part? Of being Lakeman? The technical terms.
Uh, knuckle hamplers and tamped patch prim fixtures, - and - EDWARD: He's drunk already.
Those are real words, man, right? Yeah, they are.
They're real.
[LAUGHING.]
: He's so drunk.
Ooh, maybe he'll dance.
ALICE: Oh, that would be so good.
EDWARD: Are you gonna dance later, guy? I'm not that bad, man.
[EDWARD CHUCKLES.]
EDWARD: You are the worst dancer in the world.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
And I have been all over the world, on committees and stuff, as a future former congressman.
[ALICE LAUGHS.]
You're the worst.
Like, globally.
He-he dances like Bruce Springsteen when he dragged that girl from Friends onto the stage.
Doesn't he? Yeah, a little bit.
But I like it.
I like it, though.
EDWARD: Yeah, right.
Hey, hey.
Let's get in a fight.
What? Let's get in a fight with some other guys.
Uh, like, another group.
Man, Gregory gets violent when he drinks.
- [SOFT LAUGHTER.]
- Did you You're so peaceful, normally, man.
And you're kind of violent, normally.
And when you get drunk, you're pretty peaceful.
Yeah, you do get really sweet when you get drunk.
I want to dance.
Fuck, yeah.
Oh, my God! Watch this.
["DIS MOI" BY KAD ACHOURI PLAYING.]
How did you know? To-to find me? We were on a boat.
A boat ride, and he mentioned you.
Oh, cool.
Some kind of splash deal when you were together.
- Oh.
- He said you two had fun.
- [LAUGHING.]
: Cool.
- Yeah.
Uh, Afternoon Splash.
Oh, well, cool.
That's that's not exactly right, but-but I get it.
Well go have fun.
Oh.
O-Okay.
["COMMANDO FADA" BY MASSILIA PLAYING.]
- Hey, man.
- Yeah, man? I was scared, man.
- About what, man? - You, man.
Your message "Double Great," man.
Yeah.
That was Yeah.
I'm in bad shape.
Me, too.
Emotionally.
And physically, too, I guess, which What? Which You know, I don't know.
It's not a bad thing, I-I guess, under some circumstances.
Which circumstances? Only when you try and hang yourself from your kayak and it-it can't support your weight, and Because it has a crack.
Circumstances like that.
I'm glad you're still here.
[GRUNTS.]
: Eh.
"Ring the bells that still can ring.
"Forget your perfect offering.
"There's a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.
" I learned this from Icabod.
It's pretty cool.
Shh.
["DEATH OF A CLOWN" BY THE KINKS PLAYING.]
My makeup is dry And it cracks round my chin I'm drowning my sorrows In whiskey and gin The lion tamer's whip Doesn't crack anymore The lions, they won't fight And the tigers won't roar Ooh, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la So let's all drink To the death of a clown Won't someone help me To break up this crown Let's all drink To the death of a clown Ooh, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Let's all drink To the death of a clown La, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la All right.
La, la, la, la La, la, la [SONG FADES OUT.]
WOMAN: So at what point that day did it become the plan to pool your money together and go and buy the accordion boy? After laser tag.
I want to recant that.
May I? It was after we roved to the park, and were at a particular café together, drinking.
After we were at a particular pub, drinking.
Before laser tag.
And whose idea was it? Um I thi-I think it was John Lakeman's.
I think it would've been John's, that day.
I recall, clearly, that day, he was full of warm feelings and pilsners.
I bet we could do it.
How much can buying a kid cost, anyway? Not, like, a million.
How much can buying a kid cost, Icabod? I don't know, I've never bought a kid before, John.
[LAUGHS.]
I think, like, 1,800 bucks, ballpark.
We're, like, a hundred bucks short.
I got a hundred euro.
Cool.
No, I no, I mean, in in my whole life.
But it's for freedom.
- Yeah! - EDWARD: Yeah! ["THE WAY" BY NEIL YOUNG PLAYING.]
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh The way, we know the way We've seen the way We'll show the way to get you back home To the peace where you belong If you're lost and think you can't be found We know the way We've got the way We'll lead the way to get you back home To the peace where you belong The way, we know the way We've seen the way We'll show the way to get you back home To the peace where you belong That fuckin' dude right there.
[OTHERS CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
[SNIFFS.]
Why is he still with us? I think he thinks we own him now or something.
ALICE: I'll explain it to him.
Do you speak English? I speak Romanian.
No way.
How many different languages you speak, Dennis? If there's oil there, then yeah, I can speak the language, pretty much.
Cool.
Tell him he's free.
He doesn't have to stay with us.
He can just run free.
- Did you tell him he can go? - Yeah.
Why didn't he go? I don't know.
Maybe he feels a bond or something.
Say mean things to him.
Like like, you never liked him anyway.
Just, you know Like in the movies.
Like-like-like-like, he's a movie horse.
[LAUGHING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[LAUGHING, CHEERING.]
ALICE: Run! Run, movie horse! You see that? The day kind of dipped a little.
Little bit.
Anybody want to try to score some more weed? Good thinking.
You think y-you're a good dancer? [CHUCKLES.]
I never said I was a good dancer.
I said you are a bad dancer.
Y-You don't like my moves? You don't have any moves.
F-Feeling good.
That's not a move.
Well well, what is it, then? GLENN: John Lakeman.
John Lakeman.
JOHN: What? John Lakeman, I'm Sergeant Glenn Perdue.
Milwaukee Police Department.
Can I ask you some questions? Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck.
Fuck, man, this is kind of a th-thing here.
- What? - Fuck.
I got to, like, es-escape from the situation.
Can you do something to the normal guy? Like what? Like, fuck him up or something? And then we can run away from the other guys.
'Cause I'm really fast, and you guys are probably normal fast.
And they're not going to be, 'cause that one's tiny, and he has to, like, take twice as many strides as the rest of us.
And that one one guy's got one leg.
JOHN: Yeah.
All right.
Wha What? [CHUCKLES.]
Go knock out the normal guy.
Nah.
Wh-Why? H-He's not normal.
He just looks normal.
Nah, I don't I don't want to.
[WHISPERS.]
: Hey.
Gregory will fuckin' do it.
[LAUGHING.]
Yeah.
He he got all riled up there before.
Hey, Gregory? Yeah.
Yeah.
- Hey.
- What's up? These-these guys, uh - What? - These guys were saying some fucked-up shit about you, man.
What were they saying? Um what do you care about? Like, in my life? Yeah.
Like, my hobbies? Yeah, okay.
Well, I collect and assemble miniature train sets, tracks and small-scale replica villages.
These guys said that was fucked up.
These guys? JOHN: Yeah.
Yeah, they said that was really fucked up.
Just now.
You should fight them.
Train kits? Yeah.
- Like, how? - Like What? Like, how is collecting and assembling train kits fucked up? Like all the ways.
They were just really down on it, man.
EDWARD: They were so down on train kits, man.
- Fuck that.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Fuck that, man.
Which one said it? The normal one.
EDWARD: Go fuck him up.
Then we got to run.
All right.
Remember I said we should fight some other guys? - We're doing it.
- Yeah, we're doing it.
Go do it.
Motherfucker.
- Trains! - [THUMP.]
[LAUGHING.]
["NO PLACE TO FALL".]
[BY TOWNES VAN ZANDT PLAYING.]
Well, if I had no place to fall - [TIRES SCREECH.]
- And I needed to Could I count on you - Holy shit.
- You like trains.
- I like trains.
- You fuckin' killed him, man.
- He did it.
- JOHN: Oh, hey, check it out.
Oh, fuck.
[GUYS LAUGHING.]
Well, I'd never tell you no lies I don't believe it's wise You got pretty eyes Won't you spin me round? Get a cab.
Get a cab.
I ain't much of Get in.
I'm here, then I'm gone And I'm forever blue [LAUGHING.]
But I'm sure wanting you - [LAUGHING.]
- Hey! - Yeah! - I love him! - Yes! - [THUMP.]
Oh, that's a great bachelor party.
Let's see where everyone else went.
- You good to rove? - Good to rove, yeah.
- Weird.
- What? - That was weird.
- Yeah.
Yeah, that was weird.
Yeah.
Hey, close the door.
- What? - Close your door.
We're going, like, 40 miles an hour here.
- Close your door.
- Oh, yeah.
Thanks.
That was a good safety tip, man.
Thanks.
What? That was a good safety tip, man.
Thanks.
And if we help each other grow While the light of day Smiles down our way [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Then we can't go wrong Well, time She's a fast, old train She's here then she's gone And she won't come again Won't you take my hand? Well, if I had no place to fall And I needed to Could I count on you To lay me down? Fuck.
I can't be pay the rent.
Um, but you have to pay the rent.
[LAUGHS.]
No, no, no.
- But I-I can't pay the rent.
- The girl goes up here.
- The girl? - Yeah.
- Ah.
- This one's the mean guy.
- Oh, this is the mean guy.
- And then this is the guy who can pay the rent.
- The Okay.
- Okay.
John.
His whole group.
All of them? They're leaving at 1:00 a.
m.
.
- Tonight? - They fly yeah, all of them out of Paris at 1:00.
Cantar Walley? All of them.
Something changed.
I'll brief Tom.
[PHONE DINGS.]
[PHONE VIBRATES.]
Hello? Yeah.
I have to leave in a little while.
- John.
- Hey.
- You've been drinking.
- Yeah.
- And you've been taking - What? pain medicine.
You're all fucked up.
John, you're all fucked up.
Well, it doesn't have to be over.
I can still stay for an hour or so, like an hour and a half.
I have to take off soon for something, Ed.
- Tonight? - Yeah.
It's my bachelor party.
Yeah.
I have, like, another 45 minutes, man.
- It's my bachelor party.
- Yeah.
You're fucked up.
What? You're fucked up.
Okay.
So what are you going to do? What are you talking about? Tonight, you're fucked up.
You're drunk and stoned.
Okay.
So when you're fucked up, you should just go home or stay out and get more fucked up.
But you shouldn't go out and do other shit, I'm saying.
It's a good saying.
So, what are you going to do tonight, I'm saying? I'm gonna take these mouse earrings, these little mouse earrings.
I'm gonna break this window.
John.
Careful, Mouse.
This way.
[GRUNTS.]
Shit, I Shit.
I lost one of my mouse earrings.
Help me find them, man.
What the fuck are you doing? JOHN: Oh, there it is.
Cool.
EDWARD: What are you doing, man? Just picking up my mouse earrings.
No, I mean, what are you doing with those? That's her.
Who's she? She's a policeman from the finger store, the little finger store.
I want to give her these little mouse things.
Earrings.
Why? Why what? Why do you want to give that lady earrings? Because I-I made her blind.
Okay, John, you're drunk.
- Get out of m-my way, man.
- No.
I don't-I don't care, I'll just fucking chuck 'em over to her.
Do not chuck earrings at a cop.
JOHN: Pardon, sir.
I'm sorry.
Why you are throwing things? They're mouse earrings.
What? I'm sorry, they're mouse earrings.
So what? [SPEAKING FRENCH.]
EDWARD: I don't want you going off by yourself.
JOHN: I am.
EDWARD: No, you're not.
I'm going.
Yeah, well, you're not going by yourself.
I told you once about helping me.
Yeah, and I just told you you're not going alone, so ["NO FUTURE" BY TITUS ANDRONICUS PLAYING.]
But I don't want to live in it Fat guy in a little coat.
There is not a doctor That can diagnose me I am dying slowly From Patrick Stickles Disease There is not a medication That can cure what's ailing me The only treatment they offer Is to hang me from a tree 'Cause life's been a long, sick game Of "Would You Rather" So now I'm going to medical school As a cadaver And if I could say Only one thing With the whole world listening It would be "Leave me the fuck alone" Or "Welcome to the Terrordome.
"