Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero (2014) s01e18 Episode Script

Balls!

Wherever good is threatened, heroes rise to the challenge and always save the day! Except when they don't.
And that's when I go to work.
I zap in two dimensions every day It's my job to be a hero, save the world And make things right Kung fu moles, rescue trolls Punch a zombie! Score a goal! I'm a robot, I'm a rabbit, I'm a knight Stretching, swinging, sliding by Kicking monsters in the eye Boone and Sashi always sticking by my side No villain's gonna stop Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero Good-bye, Uncle Chuck.
- Later, Aunt Rose.
- Hey, Penn Station.
Let's hang for a minute of real talk, shall we? Is this about bathroom safety again? 'Cause I will not wear a helmet in there.
No, no, you'll get used to that.
But that's not the issue.
Your Aunt Rose and I, we're pretty concerned about your relationship with The Chinchilla.
We think you could get along better if you spend more time together.
He has a massage at 3:00 tomorrow.
You can both get one! Uh, too bad.
I gotta work.
Yeah, you know, at that job where I battle evil to protect all universes.
- It's kind of important.
- Just like your dad.
Always goin' on about how important this part-time hero business is.
News flash, Pensacola.
Spending time with the chinchilla is important, too.
Who's that adorable furry creature Who's softer than a pilla? Someone call the cute police Because here comes the chinchilla - Slow that roll there, Phyllis lady.
- Penn's my nephew, and I say he needs to get a massage with The Chinchilla holy mackerel! Oh, The Chinchilla.
Look at your cousin in action.
The Chinchilla? You put that down now, mister.
Well, I'll be Where's Penn? - Is he okay? - He's fine, but I am needing to fix Quadrithium Power Converter cable.
Of course, if I don't fix QPC in one hour, - Penn Zero will be lost forever.
- But you can fix it, right? As long as your ball of rat does not cause any more So that's a bucket of stink.
Okay, okay, let's try to relax here.
I'm sure Phyllis will unfreeze way before the hour is up.
Oh, my goodness, we're never gonna see Penn again! Oh.
Better make a call.
Hey, dang it Chuck.
What did you do? You know, maybe that massage with the rodent wouldn't have been bad after all.
How could you let this happen? Oh, like you're perfect, huh? Mr.
I Got Myself Stuck In The Most Dangerous World Imaginable.
Whoa, guys, there is no way you two will be able to fix the QPC in time.
Our only hope is to replace it.
You need to find a spare, okay? But first, make sure the new battery is charged, because it will be catastrophic if we lose contact.
Oh, great.
Now what are we gonna do? Oh, yeah! Uncle Chuck! My bro-knuckle.
- Chuck, how do you know this guy? - Phil? He's on my bowling team.
- Also, Uncle Chuck is best customer.
- You've got to be kiddin' me.
Drama king.
He'll be back.
Phil, I need a quadra a quadra Quadrithium power converter? I gave only extra QPC to Rippen.
I forgot birthday.
So I tell him it was hot plate.
Now he use it to keep his coffee hot at school.
Come on, Rose, we got 45 minutes to find that hot plate.
Hm.
Classic Uncle Chuck.
Where do you two think you're going? Oh, hi there.
I was just visiting my old art school friend, a good friend of mine, Ripley.
Uh-huh.
Like me, Mr.
Rippen has no friends.
And no one except Rippen is allowed in his room after hours.
If you're not friends, why do you care? 'Cause guys without friends have to stick together.
- So beat it.
- Or else what? Or else, whistle.
Whoa! More summer cheese, please.
Rippen.
Hark.
Get out of my way, you nettlesome dunder pate.
I'll find another spot to sleep.
Classic Rippen.
Okay, find that QCP and get out.
Mr.
Rippen, are you okay? Someone's coming.
Hit the deck! Why, Mr.
Rippen, you're here late.
Oh, yes, yes, I am.
Yes, I am.
Isn't that right? I forgot something.
You.
You're looking acceptable today, love.
Don't lower your eyes.
I wanna see your beautiful eyes.
Yep, yep, chippy.
Oh, it's always so nice to have your eyes noticed.
Are you trying to work up the courage to ask a certain music teacher out to dinner tonight? Uh, yes.
Sounds wonderful.
Just splendid.
Let's have tea.
I'm from England.
Well, then, meet me at the Fish Stick On A Stick in an hour.
Toodle-oo.
I just got the feeling a dreadful fate is about to befall me.
I can't believe that worked.
You've gotta be kidding me! He lent it to Larry?! Huh? Hey! You're not Rippen.
Taste whistle.
We got less than half an hour.
We gotta get to Principal Larry's.
Are you here to interview for the butler's butler position? - No.
I'm not here to apply - I am here to apply.
This guy's my agent.
My word.
You must be in high demand to have an agent.
This way, please.
Go find the QPC thingamajig while I interview for this job thingamajig.
You, the one with the agent.
Come with me.
It's an honor to have someone so distinguished apply.
Malarkey.
We got here first.
You should have your agent call to complain.
Oh, that's right.
You don't have one.
She's right.
I'm pathetic.
It's okay, little fella.
I'm just gonna borrow this for a second.
Ow! Just give me ow! Hey, just Aside from having your own agent, what would you say your greatest strength is? Someone's absconded with Master Tony's heating pad.
I thought that teacup elephant heating pad alarm was rather unnecessary, but now I see just how wrong I was.
I look forward to your decision.
Whoever apprehends those hooligans first gets the butler's butler job.
On your mark, get set Return that teacup elephant heating pad! Angry mob! Get the monsters! I wish Penn could see us now.
At least Uncle Chuck and Aunt Rose are nowhere in sight.
Look, guys.
Look.
We got the quadrithium hot plate power converter.
Great! That was the easy part.
What's the hard part? Installing it.
One wrong move and Sorry.
A fly just flew in my mouth.
Where was I? Oh, yeah.
One wrong move and you'll turn Middleburg into dust.
Okay.
It is end of world.
Good luck.
It is end of world.
Good luck.
It is end of world.
Good luck.
It is end of world.
Good luck.
- What took so long? - Oh, Penn, you're okay.
Come out with your hands up.
We have you surrounded.
Uh, what's goin' on here? Hey, Penn, Uncle Chuck and Aunt Rose are gonna go away for a few days.
On the bright side, you two can spend more time together.
- Today could not have gone - Hello, Mr.
Rippen.
- I'm ready for our date.
- What? Keep your circuits open.
She's here somewhere.
I can feel it.
She got Frank.
Hold it together.
She's just a little girl.
Training simulation complete.
Sidekick victorious.
This is not sarcastic applause.
Very impressive.
Thanks.
I just wish my coworkers would show up for practice.
I'm sure they are very busy with important life things.
Hi-ho, Boone.
Whoa! Well, there, fella.
Good boy.
Have some sugar cubes.
You guys missed practice again.
What do you mean? I was practicing being a horse.
And I was practicing being a giraffe riding a horse, so - That won't help you be a better hero.
- I'm a part-time hero.
I only need to be a hero part of the time.
A real hero should be a full-time part-time hero - all of the time.
- Sorry, Sash, that's just not who I am.
That was just my giraffe voice.
Let me guess.
We're an elite special forces unit on a deadly jungle mission of doom.
Actually, we're action figures in a backyard.
Cool! A bazooka! Cool! A frying pan! We are from the kick-bad-guy-butt division of the Plastic Forces toy line.
Our owner is a kid named Greg, whose birthday present, a remote-controlled helicopter, has been stolen by the Rogue Jerk squad.
Our mission is to retrieve the helicopter before the jerks can activate it, and use it to steal the toys from all the kids in the neighborhood.
Got it.
Okay, here's the plan.
Come in like this, move this around Hey, I'm drawing here! That's hey, ma'am! Soldier, you are addressing your commanding officer, General Shirley B.
Awesome! We have a mission to accomplish.
The rest of our unit were lost at sleep-away camp.
We're all that's left, and I won't let Greg down.
May I suggest a plan that involves Random Cook's frying pan, ma'am? Do I look like a paper box with an envelope slot?! Uh, no, slash, what does that mean? It means why are you treating me like a suggestion box?! I'd rather handle this mission by myself, but we have a day to save so fall in line.
- Like this? - No.
Let's move out.
How long until the helicopter is operational? Uh, whenever that light turns green? Excellent.
Come here, Larry.
Once the helicopter's ready, we'll steal every toy in the neighborhood.
Look at this.
Plastic grenades, sponge missiles, toy tanks.
And the last resort bomb, complete with functioning countdown clock.
It even glows in the dark.
I wonder what this does.
Don't worry.
I'll go get your hand.
I think it went in the bougainvillea.
- Roundhouse kick.
- Karate chop.
- Roundhouse kick.
- Karate chop.
Unhand that hand, super cute beast.
That tickles.
Stop it.
Ow, ow! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Hey, Penn.
- High five.
The helicopter's at two o'clock, General.
It's nice to have someone on this mission who's not acting like a preschool toy.
- Now, here's the plan.
- General Shirley B.
Awesome.
Permission to finish speaking before you slap me, ma'am.
Okay, Random Cook and I will let ourselves get captured, then we'll trick the bad guys into entering a cooking contest.
We'll then cook a steak that's actually a bomb we've crayoned to look like a steak.
I hope they like their steak medium rare, 'cause that's how we crayoned it.
Then when they eat it, it'll explode.
Then you and Sashi come in, and take out any surviving bad guys with your chops and your kicks and your hi-yah and your screaming and your mania.
I don't wanna step on any toes here, but I'm actually kind of a hero.
I mean, I just have my own style.
Just takes some getting used to.
It's a little unorthodox.
Lotta people are calling it sort of new wave, retro throwback heroing.
When I need a terrible idea and a messed-up haircut, I'll call you! Now, here's my plan.
I'll sneak in, take out the enemy one by one.
Then, when the hard work is done, I'll signal you guys by making a noise like a British ambulance like this.
Then, I fly us all back to Greg's yard.
Boom! Yeah, cool.
You know what? Why don't we vote on it.
Yeah, my plan or Shirley's.
Who wants Shirley's? Raise your hand.
- Sashi.
- Sorry, Penn.
I like that she wants to do things like a real hero.
Girl, you remind me of myself when I was fresh out of the packaging.
Now out of my way! You don't take orders well.
I respect that.
Maybe I should be more like Shirley.
Bold, fearless.
Not so good with nets, though.
The batteries are fully charged.
- Load the batteries into the remote.
- Sir, yes, sir.
- This does not work for me.
- You're just gonna have to make do until that chipmunk makes doo-doo.
Sir, here are the trespassers, sir.
Well, if it isn't Shirley B.
Awesome.
Looks like today, you're more of a Shirley B.
Losin'.
She's not a loser, you jerk face.
That's General Jerk Face to you.
We're about to activate the helicopter and use it to steal all the best toys from as far as a block and a half away! General Jerk Face, sir.
We've captured two enemy troops, sir.
Penn and Boone, I presume.
Larry, bring them here.
I want them to see my ultimate victory.
I wouldn't get too cocky.
I'm sure getting caught and having you bring her here is all part of General Awesome's plan for this mission.
- I've never gone on a mission.
- Seriously? What? I'm here, too.
I only act tough to mask how lonely I am on the inside.
It's true.
Says so right on the back of the box.
Rippen, we're having a cooking contest.
And they made me the judge.
Ha ha! Penn and Boone are backing away so all the troops can get a good view of me tasting this plastic inedible steak.
Larry, no! Ooh, delicious.
Sir, the remote is now ready Boone, spatula, now.
Spatula attack! I've always considered myself your right hand.
To the helicopter! - Where's the remote control? - It's right over here.
If I can't have the helicopter, no one will.
Yow! Ha! Roundhouse kick.
You can't defeat me alone.
She doesn't have to.
This child-safe toy knife is having no effect.
That's high-grade dental floss, that's why.
You'll never cut through it.
You know what? You're a funny guy.
Really? No one's ever said that before.
And they won't because you're not.
You're stupid.
Get in the helicopter.
I'll fly you home.
- I won't leave you! - That is an order.
Yes, ma'am.
We gotta go.
If I can, I'll fly you over the Moens' pool.
I saw it once when Greg threw me in the air.
It was spectacular.
For once I felt like a real person.
Like a little six-inch person.
I'm sorry, Sash.
Shirley was a real hero.
I'm sorry, too, PZ.
A real friend should be a full-time friend all of the time, and I was pretty part-time about it this time.
You know, I couldn't really follow that, but it sounded nice.
- What happened? - The doctor put you back together.
Be careful.
Your parts will come off much easier now.
I can't believe it.
You came back for me? That's what friends do.
Thank you! I'm deeply touched! Okay.
Yeah.
You're welcome.
You don't have to yell.
Uh, I'm inches away.

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