Pennyworth (2019) s01e02 Episode Script

The Landlord's Daughter

1 I've started up a security firm.
You are way too softhearted to be a businessman.
You'll be eaten up.
- go! - Take ahold of yourself.
[GRUNTS.]
I am so sorry.
If you have any medical expenses, - call me.
- My card.
Pennyworth Security.
PRIME MINISTER: Fucking Raven Society.
They're lunatics.
Want to overthrow the government and set up a fascist utopia.
Dark wheels are turning.
HARWOOD: This great nation of ours is at war with itself.
Who did you talk to? Give me the name.
Thomas Wayne.
[GUNSHOTS.]
ESME: You were in the army? Ten years.
Didn't it bother you? Still does.
- Sit down, Spanish.
- [LAUGHS.]
Help me! Call us when you've got Thomas Wayne.
We'll do a swap.
- I have him.
- Smashing.
If they kill me, they have to kill you.
One of you is taking us to Esme sharpish.
Harwood House.
All of them are wearing these.
The Raven Society.
We will take back this country from the corrupt weaklings.
We'll need men like you.
Think about what you're doing, Alfred.
Turn away.
- [GRUNTS.]
- [BONES CRACK.]
I'll be back.
I'll be back! [PANTING.]
Look at me.
Mr.
Ripper, please.
[LAUGHTER.]
Shake Listen while I'm talking to you I tell you what we're going to do - Hey, what's your problem? - Come on.
- Please, why? Wait.
- Go.
I've told you before.
Come on.
Out.
Move your body all around And do, shake Early in the morning, shake I said later in the evening, shake I'm long gone, baby, now shake Shakin' like a bowl of soup Legs go loop the loop Alfred.
Mr.
Wayne.
Thomas.
- Please.
- Your sister's not here, Thomas.
No, she's safe at home with Mother, I'm glad to say.
I came to see you.
Oh.
How's Esme? What is this about? Succinct as ever.
I told you that I might need your services some day.
Well, today's the day.
I have a job for you, if you're interested.
I'm very busy at the minute.
I see that.
I'll take bouncing drunks over secret wars any day.
Well, the job I have in mind is utterly aboveboard and lawful.
Honorable, even.
- Hmm.
- And the pay is excellent.
Would you like to hear the details? No, I wouldn't.
It's not that I don't trust you, Mr.
Wayne.
But my girlfriend nearly died because of the company you keep.
I had to kill people.
All's well that ends well, though.
You'd be doing your country a great service.
I've been serving them since I was 16.
I'm serving myself now.
[SCREAMING.]
One name and the pain will stop, my dear.
Who is the leader of the Raven Society? Tea's up.
Ooh, lovely.
I'm gasping.
Put it on the table.
Who is the leader of the Raven Society? Fuck off.
[SCREAMING.]
[SCREAMING CONTINUES IN DISTANCE.]
Evening, miss.
- What's in the butties? - Fish paste.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
- I don't like fish paste.
I've no mirror.
- How do I look? - Good enough.
I want to look me best on the day.
Not being snide, you'll have a bag over your head.
Not up there, I won't.
Oh.
Is that where you're going? I've done nowt.
I'm innocent.
Maybe you are, and maybe you're not.
Not my purview, miss.
Any road thanks for talking to me, pet.
Gets boring, waiting to die.
- Can I ask you a favor? - Not allowed.
You know that.
Nothing bad.
I just want you to hold me hand.
- Give over.
- Only for a minute.
You can touch me, can't you? Course you can.
What if you have to search me for weapons? Have you got weapons? No.
I've got no weapons.
I just want someone kind to hold me hand before hangman does.
[AIRPLANE DIVING.]
[GUNFIRE.]
Take cover.
Penny for your thoughts? You look troubled.
I was thinking I'd put the kettle on.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Lapsang sou What? Where's the proper tea? [LAUGHS.]
Where you left it.
[SIGHS.]
What time's the do? Curtain's up at 7:00.
Nervous? Shattered.
I dreamt of Bet Sykes all night.
I dreamt that she was waiting for me at my bus stop on Goodge Street.
Hey.
She's in Newgate or the Tower, and she'll stay there, don't you worry.
They won't let that one out.
So, go on.
Give us some of your acting.
Do "you're blind, Johnny.
" That bit.
You're blind, Johnny, blind.
You can't see me.
Me, damn you.
It still makes me shiver.
You'll be on the telly in no time.
You are sad.
Look, just so you know, when you're a famous actress and that, I won't hold you back.
Hold me back? From better prospects.
What, like other men? Whatever you have to do.
I won't hold you back.
Are you trying to leave me? Look, I won't lie to you.
If business doesn't pick up, I'm not gonna drag you down with me.
You've always been so optimistic.
Be honest.
You're not gonna be happy in some council flat in Poplar.
You need a house in Chelsea, meals in restaurants.
Lobsters, steak.
I can't give you any of that.
You are trying to leave me.
I'm trying to be realistic.
Well, bugger realistic.
We love each other.
That's all that matters.
Well, then, why haven't I met your old man yet? 'Cause he's bloody tedious.
That's why.
Besides, I'm I'm waiting for the right time.
Yeah.
Look, I've got to go.
Ah, good luck.
Actors don't say "good luck.
" We say "break a leg.
" Well break a leg, then.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
ALFRED: Well, what did Fat Colin say? Oh, aye.
He said no.
You said he said he definitely needed security.
Aye.
That was before the heathen twat barred me.
Oh.
Don't lose faith, Alfie.
You're gonna be a big man.
I know it.
- All right, lads? Same again? - Mate.
- Yeah, why not.
- I'll bring them over.
- Ah, thanks.
- Cheers.
[LOUD, INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
All right, Jason? Usual? Where's my girl? Sandra.
BARTENDER: Oh, she's about.
Pint of best? I'll wait for Sandra.
She pulls a better pint.
- Know what I mean? - Yeah.
Sandra! Pint of best, please, Sandra.
Pulled nice and slow so I can watch you.
- [GLASS BREAKS.]
- BARTENDER: Sorry, Jason.
I'm all fingers today.
Don't know what come over me.
Are you sad? Has someone made you sad? [WHISPERS.]
: No.
If someone made you sad, Sandra, I'd go mental.
Just peaky.
JASON: You've got romantic trouble.
Aye? Come on, who is he? I will cut him open.
Honestly, Jason, I'm not sad.
I'm happy.
You are very beautiful when you smile.
Come closer.
Come on.
Come on.
Come closer.
Everyone thinks you're a good girl.
But I know what you are.
[SIGHS.]
I'll see you soon my love.
[SIGHS.]
- Sid? - Alfie.
What was all that about? My Sandra's a good girl, but she's young for her age.
You know what I mean? That young man come in the pub the other week.
She smiled at him, as she does.
He just took it the wrong way.
Now he won't leave the poor girl alone.
And he's a right wrong'un.
I mean, he's done horrible things.
Well, it's your pub.
Tell him to sod off.
I would.
His name's Jason.
His mum's sister's married to the Man from Whitechapel.
Ah.
Who's the Man from Whitechapel? We don't say his name.
He's not a good man.
No bother who he is.
Pennyworth Security can sort you out.
Can you, Alfie? Can I what? If you knew someone who knew someone, you know, from a distance You want to blot the man? All right, keep your voice down.
Just saying, I'll pay what it costs, if you know someone.
I don't know anybody like that.
Well, if blotting's a non-starter, let Alfie have a quiet chat with the lad.
[SCOFFS.]
A quiet chat? DAVEBOY: You've not heard Alfie blather? Birds out of trees, knickers off nuns.
Is that true, Alfie? No.
He's exaggerating.
Look, I'm desperate.
If there's anything you can do, I'll make it worth your while.
I know she was being too friendly.
But she was bringing in the punters, weren't she? The missus, may she rest in peace, she would have put a stop to it.
But I never did.
[SIGHS.]
If something bad happens to her now, I'll top meself.
DAVEBOY: What's the matter with you? Now that was a job.
The Man from Whitechapel runs the East End.
You don't know what he does to people who disrespect him.
Who cares? I'm trying to build a nice business, so I can settle down and have kids.
Suicide missions are not part of the plan.
Alfie, you have forgotten who you are.
You are SA fucking S.
And now you're scared to say some cunt's name? Qui fucking audet, Alfie.
Qui fucking audet.
Snap! Ooh! Too fast for me, George.
A snap wizard, you are.
Where's my winnings, then? I'm embarrassed now.
Bet's a bet, Bet.
Very droll.
All right, then.
Just the one, mind.
And no hanky-panky.
You've been a good friend to me, George.
- I'm very grateful.
- Well, been nice getting to know you.
Bless.
Come here.
JOHNNY: Bite me, woman, stab me, but I beg of you, don't cry at me.
Don't cry? Don't cry? Fuck you, Johnny.
I would drown you in my tears if I could.
I would kill you.
You can't, my love.
You can't kill a man twice.
Who am I, damn it?! ESME: Who are you? Who am I?! You don't love me.
You can't even see me! You're blind, Johnny! Blind.
[APPLAUSE.]
- [EXCITED CHATTER.]
- WOMAN: Bravo! [APPLAUSE CONTINUES.]
- MAN: Excellent! - MAN 2: Bravo! MAN 3: Bravo! MAN 4: Well done! [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Was the play any good? I couldn't tell you, Inspector.
Esme was good.
Theater buff, are you? Frightfully secret police of me, I know.
I apologize, but, um, I have a question for you.
I answered a thousand questions for your mob already.
- You can read my statement.
- I read it.
Doubtless you noticed that one very obvious question wasn't asked.
They didn't ask if Lord Harwood named any other conspirators.
They didn't want to know.
Not on the record.
Off the record, I do want to know.
Yeah, I want to know something, too.
What's happened to Bet Sykes? We've had no word.
I should hope not.
She doesn't exist anymore, not officially.
You don't need to worry about her.
Well, I am worried.
She's hanging under a hood for the Longbrass murder next bank holiday.
- Good to know.
- You don't.
Hmm.
Harwood didn't name anybody.
Of course.
Not that stupid.
Never mind.
Worth asking.
Oh, uh, while I have your ear, old chap.
It's just possible that some rather shady people may approach you.
First contact will be a damn nice fellow, probably somebody you know and trust.
He'll come with an attractive proposition.
A noble and lucrative proposition, you might think.
If and when this fellow appears, perhaps you might let me know.
I can tell you some interesting things about the organization he represents.
Why don't you just tell me now? Have they approached you already? No.
If they don't approach you, I've told a civilian something he doesn't need to know.
ESME: Alfie! See you, Inspector.
Break a leg.
Hey, that was brilliant, Ez! Really good.
You look like a film star.
Tosh.
Truly, was it any good? There was people crying.
Blokes.
I saw 'em.
- No.
- Yeah.
- [RHYTHMIC CREAKING.]
- [MAN GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTING CONTINUES.]
[SIGHS.]
[PANTING.]
Egg and cress all right for you, is it? Smashing.
Before you go [GROANS SOFTLY.]
Be a love, put stamps on 'em, pop 'em in a letter box for me.
You know I can't do that.
You can.
I can't.
You can't fuck the prisoners, but you've been doing that.
- That's different.
- How? It's my word against yours, isn't it? No, it's not.
Happen doctors these days can tell whose spunk is whose.
True fact.
Read it in the Sundays.
Modern science, eh? Bloody amazing.
Give me that.
I've got more.
Tub of spunk you are, aren't you, George? - Big fat sex fiend.
- [SIGHS.]
I'll tell the warden you sent me letters before.
That's aiding a traitor, that is.
Rack and the gibbet for you.
Oh, God.
Please don't make Shut up.
Take 'em.
First class stamps, mind.
[MAN YELLING, GUNFIRE.]
[HIGH-PITCHED RINGING.]
ESME: I'm a naive art student having a tempestuous affair with a brilliant, angry young poet.
I'm trying to break through his alienation.
MARY: Oh, dear.
But it turns out all right in the end, does it? Oh, no.
That would be very bourgeois.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
Mary's teaching me how to make bread.
There's bread in the corner shop.
Making bread is the sort of thing every young woman needs to know.
If she were ever to marry someone.
What are you doing tonight? Can you come to the play again? Again? I'd love to.
I mean, I'll try, but I'm busy tonight.
Oh.
It's a job, actually.
My first one.
First proper one.
Oh, hooray! Hooray! Alfie, that's smashing.
What's the job? It's not dangerous, is it? No, no.
No.
Mediation.
That's what we call it in the trade.
I'm so proud of you.
ESME: See? Things are looking up.
Yeah, it's a start anyway.
Well, if you can't come to the play, why don't you come to the party afterward? It doesn't start till 11:00.
Frightfully glamorous.
Hmm.
I'll try.
Oh, come on.
It'll be a hoot.
I'll try.
[LIVELY CHATTER, LAUGHTER.]
[CHATTER STOPS.]
Where's Sandra? Oh, she'll be along.
Pint of best? [SHOUTING.]
: Sandra! Ah.
There you are.
Pint of best, please, my dove.
What? Not a word for me? Silence? Sorry.
I was just thinking about if the barrel needs changing.
Are you scared of me, Sandra? I think you are, but that's all right.
A little fear - is very sexy.
- [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
ALFRED: All right, Sandra? Pint of best when you're ready, love.
What's your name? Alfred.
Oh.
I'm Jason.
Jason Ripper.
All right, mate.
When's that pint coming, love? Local boy, are you, Alfred? - I am.
- But you don't know who I am? I do.
You just told me.
Jason Jason Ripper.
I'm gasping for a pint.
Come on.
Question for you Alfred.
Go on, then.
Think carefully before you answer.
Would you fuck your mum to save her life? That's a funny question.
Serious question.
It's very important.
Would you fuck your mum to save her life? Yes or no? Now, your personal problems are really none of my business, Jason.
But your mum's been lying to you.
Fucking her won't cure anything.
[PATRONS EXCLAIMING.]
What the fuck are you doing standing there for?! Go get fuckin' after him! [INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Ah.
Jason.
This isn't gonna end well for you, mate.
Now you promise to leave Sandra alone, and we'll say no more.
Do what? [LAUGHS.]
: San Sandra? Say you'll leave her alone, and I'll let you walk away now.
You really are mental.
Not as mental as your mum.
All right, mate.
Stop! BAZZA: Stop! Dave! Daveboy! Cool down.
[GRUNTS.]
[PANTING.]
Sorry.
My uncle will have your fucking guts for this.
Your fucking guts! You're fucking dead! You're fucking dead! Who am I, damn it? Who are you? Who am I? You don't love me.
You can't even see me! You're blind, Johnny.
Blind.
[APPLAUSE.]
[JAZZ BAND PLAYING "BODY AND SOUL".]
["BODY AND SOUL" CONTINUES.]
[SONG ENDS.]
That's a good trick.
Who are you? How did you get in? Don't mind me saying, Mr.
Ripper, for a man of your stature, you have rubbish security.
Or perhaps you're good at your job.
Perhaps a bit of both.
Anyway, here I am.
Alfred Pennyworth is my name.
I've known your name since I were a baby, Mr.
Ripper.
I hold you in the highest respect.
I'm honored to meet you.
"Pennyworth Security Management.
No job too big or small.
" This some kind of promotional stunt, is it? You might say that.
I'd say more like a gesture of goodwill and respect.
Oh, stop it.
- Darling, it was chemis - Congratulations.
Thank you.
- MAN: I really enjoyed - Oh.
You're too kind.
- Thanks very much.
- Darling, it was chemistry.
- You can't fake that sort of - Nonsense.
[LIVELY JAZZ PLAYING.]
[GRUNTS, COUGHS.]
Don't you fucking move! [PANTING QUIETLY.]
What's your name? Jason.
No.
Your name is weasel.
You're a wriggling little weasel.
I'm Jason Ripper! - [SNIFFS.]
- [WHIMPERS.]
I smell terror.
Do you know terror smells different than fear? We haven't even started.
You are going to break like a twig.
What's your name? Shall I get the tools? What do you say, weasel? Shall he get the tools? I'll leave Sandra alone.
Look, I'll-I'll never go near her again, I swear.
Sandra? We don't care about Sandra.
Who's Sandra? What do you want? What have I done? I don't I don't even know you.
I'll get the tools.
[DOOR CREAKS SHUT.]
Stunning work.
You were a revelation.
I'm Jeremy.
I'm waiting for my boyfriend.
He's not an actor, too, is he? Never works.
No.
He creeps up on people in the night and kills them.
Okay.
[WHIMPERING.]
[OBJECTS CRASH.]
[METALLIC SCRAPING.]
[WHIMPERS.]
[OBJECTS CRASH.]
[FRANTIC WHIMPERING.]
Please! - [OBJECTS CRASH.]
- Last chance.
[CRYING QUIETLY.]
What's your name? Weasel.
I can't hear you.
[LOUDER.]
: Weasel.
"My name is weasel, sir!" My name is weasel, sir! Good boy.
Where are you from, weasel? Wh-Wh-Whitechapel.
Who's Uncle John? Hmm? [BREATH TREMBLING.]
Who's Uncle John!? - J-John Ripper! - J-J John Ripper? The big man? You work for him, yes? [QUIETLY.]
: Yes.
He can't help you now, can he? - No.
- Shh, shh, shh, shh.
[CRYING.]
My boy, I want you to listen to me very closely.
We don't give a fuck about you.
We don't give a fuck about you.
You're nothing.
Nobody.
[QUIETLY.]
: Shit.
We'll let you live if you tell us about your Uncle John.
- You want to live, don't you!? - Yes, sir, yes, sir! Then tell us everything you know about John Ripper! Everything! Say "yes.
" - Yes.
- Yes what!? Yes, sir! Yes, sir, I'll tell you everything, sir! ALFRED: That'll do.
My own flesh and blood.
[BREATH TREMBLING.]
- I'm sorry.
- Stop sniveling.
If it wouldn't break my sister's heart I'd skin you alive.
Break her heart? Hasn't she seen enough horrors? Oh, God.
- Oh, God, I'm sorry.
- Don't talk to me about God.
You're leaving London.
I don't care where you go.
- [SHUDDERING.]
- If you come back I'll cut your face off.
[CRYING QUIETLY.]
[SOBS.]
Good luck, mate.
[DOOR CREAKS SHUT.]
Fuck! [SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE.]
[CLOCK TICKING.]
SYKES: Dear Esme, hello again.
I hope you're happy and healthy.
Yours truly is keeping cheerful.
I'm writing to tell you how much I enjoyed our time together.
You're a beautiful and special person.
If I were ever free, I think we'd become good friends.
Forgive and forget, that's what I say.
Anyway be good.
Cheerio for now.
Your friend, Bet.
Kiss, kiss kiss.
I am intrigued.
What do you expect me to do now? I expect you'll be angry with us.
It's only natural.
What's your game? What it says on the card.
Security management.
You're ex-soldiers.
From a good regiment.
Catering corps.
Cooks.
What did Jason do to you? I asked him to leave a girl alone, - and he wouldn't.
- Ah.
A hero.
Your sweetheart, is she? Just a job.
"No job too big or too small.
" I hope they paid you well.
Tell me why I shouldn't just toss you in that oven.
Well, I'm off in a minute.
I expect I can find you.
I expect so.
Until you do, I'll be trouble that you don't need.
And that's the last thing I want to be.
Come.
Look upon a marvel.
These are the viscera.
I know.
Ah, of course.
A cook.
Such subtle colors.
You find all sorts in the stomach.
Gold sovereign, once.
Bought Mother a crocodile handbag.
What sort of trouble are you going to be? Comes in all shapes and sizes, doesn't it? This young man thought he was trouble.
Now he's offal.
Looking at all this from the sunny side of the street, Mr.
Ripper, we've both had a result, haven't we? My client's safe, and you're rid of a weak link.
Nothing better than kidney pie.
[SNIFFS.]
The faint tang of piss.
Let's sit down.
RIPPER: A glass of wine? No, thanks.
How did you know Jason was weak? Only had to look at him.
Only a look? He's a flincher.
Everybody knows Rippers don't flinch.
It's not right.
Sort of a black mark against the whole East End, isn't it? I said to myself, here's a chance to do a good turn for the guv'nor.
Out of goodwill and respect.
Exactly.
I had me own reasons, of course.
The business hasn't taken wing yet, to be honest.
And I knew this job to be a gamble, but I thought I needed to do something drastic to get the business off the ground.
No, you were hoping I'd be amused by your front and let you walk away.
No.
I was hoping that you might let me operate on your manor, put the word about I'm kosher.
Thinks he's the business.
Lairy as fuck.
A shrewd judge of character, he thinks.
I'll give him credit.
He's a brave punter.
Is he stupid or clever? I can't tell.
Which is it? That's a very good question.
- [CLACKS.]
- [YELLS.]
Which is it? Stupid or clever? Well, the safe money would be on stupid.
But you've got to back yourself, haven't you? [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
[FLOOR BOARDS CREAKING, DOORKNOB RATTLING.]
[DOOR LOCK CLICKING.]
[HINGES CREAKING.]
[DOOR SHUTS.]
My God.
Thank God it's you.
I am sorry.
Are you all right? Where have you been? It's 4:00.
Working.
What's wrong? I nearly died.
Uh Oh, you poor love.
That must have been a horrible shock.
Here.
Come here.
Hey, it's okay.
Shh.
Shh.
Hey.
I felt so scared and alone without you here.
I'm sorry, Ez.
I'm sorry about Bet Sykes and the whole dirty business.
Stop it.
You rescued me.
It's not dirty, it's romantic.
Well, when you put it like that [CHUCKLES.]
What's that on your jacket? All over the back, what have you got ? No, it's mud.
Look, it's fine.
It's just mud.
I fell over.
[FOOD SIZZLING.]
A letter, madam.
SYKES: Dear Peggy, I hope you're well.
I'm sorry, but I'm writing to say good-bye and God bless, 'cause, believe it or not, I'm in the Tower of bloody London and the bastards are scragging me next week for something I did not do.
You've always been a good sister to me.
I wish you health and happiness for the future.
Please remember me when I'm gone.
Very best regards, your loving sister, Bet.
Kiss, kiss, kiss.
[PIANO CHORD AND NOTES PLAY.]
I won't betray His trust Though people say I must - Nice one, Alfie.
- You're welcome, mate.
True Just As long as he Needs me.
- [APPLAUSE, CHEERING.]
- Yes! On yourself, lass! Good on ya, Alfie.
Oh, cheers, Jobbo.
Don't drink that.
It's horrible.
I had no idea you were such a famous figure.
Aye, it's my local.
Everybody knows everybody.
They adore you.
Did you save someone's life or something? They're just friendly people.
I'll be back in a tick.
Don't let that one sit next to you.
Hands.
Alfie, words are not enough.
Yeah.
That's true.
Oh.
Right.
[CHUCKLES.]
Worth every penny, mate.
We'll say no more about it.
Shtum.
As the grave.
If anybody asks about me, though, you can just tell 'em that you're a satisfied customer.
Helps put my name about.
Gotcha.
- Sands.
- Thanks, Alfie.
Hey.
You're welcome.
Thanks, Daveboy.
Aye.
God bless you.
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
Here ya are.
- Yep.
It's Lucifer's silver, but to fuck with it.
Hey, Sid's no angel, but he's not Lucifer.
Laugh and joke as you may, Alfie.
But you know what path we've taken.
You miserable sod.
Who said who the fuck dares wins? I got the nod from the dark man himself.
You watch, business is gonna take off like a rocket.
- You watch.
- I-I'm not saying what you done was wrong, I'm just saying what's what.
We've made a pact with Satan, Alfie.
A pact with Satan.
Yeah.
We've done that before.
Many a time.
Too many, maybe.
Hey, I can handle Ripper.
You keep smiling, sunshine.
Not too rowdy for you? No.
It's marvelous.
[CHUCKLES.]
HARWOOD [QUIETLY.]
: Me.
Me.
Did you say something? Me.
No, you'll have to speak up.
HARWOOD [EXHALES.]
: Me.
I'm the leader.
Me.
You are telling the truth, aren't you? On your honor and so forth? Shit-arse cocksucker.
[PRIME MINISTER LAUGHS.]
You, James? Leader of the Raven Society? Extraordinary.
Hiding in plain sight, eh? Oh, bally clever.
You want to stage a coup.
Run the country? Brave and resourceful, certainly, but mad as a fucking hatter.
- [SNARLS, SPITS.]
- Oh.
Indeed.
Well, you've put me on a damned sticky wicket.
Can't very well execute a lord, nor can I hold you indefinitely.
Habeas bloody corpus, all that rot.
Fuck your cunt mother.
Well, I've considered the notion, but the appropriate moment's never really arisen.
[CHUCKLES.]
Still full of spirit, eh, James? Still plucky.
And good for you.
But it won't do, I'm afraid.
Send Lord Harwood to the barbers.
They're to keep him alive but break him.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
I don't believe you.
That nice lady in pink? - On my life.
- She looked quite respectable.
So do you.
That's not a very kind thing to say.
No, I don't mean that you're a brass.
You know all the better kind of girls are having sex before marriage these days.
It's perfectly acceptable; fashionable, practically.
No.
I mean you look beautiful.
That's all.
It's the implication.
[IMITATING ESME.]
: The implication.
Stop it.
What? You angry with me now? Yes.
I am, actually.
Good.
'Cause angry people are honest and we need to talk.
Stop trying to change the subject.
Talk about what? The future.
We-we don't know what's coming, do we? But, well, that's part of the fun of it, not knowing.
Now, what I do know: I know that you're a princess.
And I know that I'd slay dragons for you, that I'll always protect you, I'll always respect you, and I'll always love you with all my heart.
You have to say it.
Will you marry me? [LAUGHING.]
: Yes.
Yes, I will.
Here, put it on.
Did you practice that? It was very good.
No.
Just sort of came out like that.
[CHURCH BELL TOLLING.]
[KEYS RATTLING.]
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
[HORSE NEIGHS.]
[CHEERING.]
MALE ANNOUNCER [OVER SPEAKER.]
: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
And welcome to a special live nationwide broadcast from New Tyburn Gallows.
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
This program is brought to you by Her Majesty's Courts of Chancery, in collaboration with the Greater London Executions Brigade.
Come on! - [SHOUTS.]
- [CHEERING INCREASES.]
ANNOUNCER: Sponsored by Mugital Tea, a great British cup.
[DOOR SLAMS CLOSED.]
First up, James Savile.
Rape.
Sodomy.
Murder.
[CHEERING.]
[SPECTATORS EXCLAIMING.]
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
Oh, my goodness.
ANNOUNCER: Next up for the rope, Peter Piper.
Theft.
Roger Smith.
Murder.
Assault.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
- Matthew Johnson.
Rape.
[CHEERING.]
[SPECTATORS EXCLAIMING.]
ANNOUNCER: the fine men and women of the Execution Brigade, doing their ANNOUNCER: Thank you for keeping England safe and civilized.
[MUFFLED SCREAMING.]
[SPECTATORS CHEERING.]
[MUFFLED SCREAMING.]
ANNOUNCER: And now the final execution of the day.
Anonymous female prisoner.
Number 54.
For grand treason.
This is her.
All right? It's all right.
[MUFFLED SCREAMING.]
[CHEERING.]
[EXCLAIMING.]
It's done.
MARY: Writing in hell forever.
Buggered by scaly demons.
[SPECTATORS CONTINUE CHEERING.]
I'll put the kettle on.
[SPECTATORS CONTINUE CHEERING.]
Fancy a pint? Something good, sir.
[ENGINE STARTS.]
You all right? Not too bad.
I'm that peckish, though.
Rubbish scran in the Tower.
PEGGY: Well, there's a Happy Eater just past Luton.
A nice fry up'll do you good.

Previous EpisodeNext Episode