Peter Allen: Not the Boy Next Door (2015) s01e01 Episode Script

Episode 1

1 I was your typical country boy.
I tap danced, played the piano and sang.
Every town had one.
I thought I was pretty normal.
Until everyone told me I wasn't.
('I GO TO RIO' BY PETER ALLEN PLAYS) Peter Allen is one of Australia's favourite sons.
He's one of the biggest names in show business.
A prolific entertainer who was discovered by Judy Garland.
He soon found himself mixing with Hollywood royalty.
And made it in the world's most cutthroat music market.
Peter could write the lyrics, do the music, sing the hell out of it and dance.
The electrifying singer-songwriter has won a Golden Globe, a Grammy and now an Oscar.
There might have been people who would have said, "Tone it down a bit," and without compromise, he got to the top.
Peter Allen just moves people.
Love don't need a reason.
He just had a zest for living.
Allen cut short his last Australian concert tour.
His final performance was at Sydney's Hilton Hotel, ironically, on Australia Day.
Australia and the world today lost an entertainment legend.
And he said to me, "Thank God I lived.
" Famous for his hits like Rio and I Still Call Australia home .
.
he was 48 years old.
Rio Time is a traveller Tenterfield saddler Turn your head G'day, Petey.
Right again, jackaroo I think I see kangaroo up ahead Ladies and gentlemen, Ms Judy Garland.
Sing, goddammit.
Sing! I learned from Mama, just keep working.
You're one thing .
.
until you're something else, you know? Peter? ('I GO TO RIO' PLAYS, MUFFLED) Peter? When my baby Rio Fasten your seatbelts.
Here's Peter Allen! One, two, three o'clock Four o'clock, rock Five, six, seven o'clock Eight o'clock, rock - G'day, Petey.
- Hey, Mum! We're gonna rock around the clock tonight Wait for me! Nah, you're gonna have to catch me.
Whoo! Whoa! Ahh! - Whoa! - Slow down! Sorry, Mrs Wilson.
I'm late! - Oi, slow down.
- Hey, Dad! Whoo! I'll beat ya! No, you're not.
Five, six, seven, eight.
And one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
And one, two, three, four You're late! Both of you.
Sorry! Jen distracted me.
I did not! We've got the routine down.
- Come on.
- Heads up, girls.
You know it.
- Whoo! - You're such a liar.
And I was thinking .
.
we could add something.
I saw this at the Capitol.
My Sister Eileen.
They ran across, jump and shuffle back.
I was thinking we could all do something like that.
Ready? Peter Woolnough, you are a show-off! Whoa! I just love that picture.
I could see it again and again.
Yes, it is a goodie, isn't it? I've seen it five times, Aunty Jean.
- And only paid for it twice.
- Peter! I had to study it.
School's putting it on next term as a musical revue.
Oh, are you going to try out? - Bloody oath! - Peter! I just wish I could try out for Dorothy.
That's the part.
Look, Aunty Betty.
Look what's next.
The Rise And Fall Of Legs Diamond.
A gangster picture.
- Oh, can we go, Mum? - Yeah! We'll have to see how our finances hold up.
- Picture show's a luxury, isn't it? - Yes.
Now, come on, Dorothy.
Let's click our heels and go home.
- You ready? - Yep.
I think I'd make a great Dorothy, don't you think? Yeah! Oh, you bastard.
Oh, you bastard bike.
Dick? Timmy? How are you, mate? - Dick - Timmy, Timmy, Timmy.
- Tim, Tim, Tim.
- Dick.
- Bloody bike tried to kill me, love.
- Richard.
Hello, love I got a call from the store.
They say the numbers don't match up.
Not now, Marion.
They say there's signs of overcharging.
Not now, please! (Jeez.
) Have you been drinking? Leave it, Marion! Let's go play in the bedroom.
What have you been doing? I've been working! Dick Ah, see? Will you look at this? - Can't grow it! The fuckin' frost! - Richard .
.
have you been drinking? I haven't been drinking.
I called your work.
They said you left hours ago.
Did they let you go? Did you get fired again?! - Marion, will you stop?! - These are the Lamberts - What are you going to do for a job? - I don't care.
- Well, I do.
- What are you going to do? Oh, just shut up! I'll talk to them.
I'll just I'll say it was a mistake.
If you apologise, maybe Marion, will you fuckin' leave it alone, please? For fuck's sake! Don't you speak to me like that! So you know Remembrance? Uh, I think so.
(PLAYS REMEMBRANCE BY CARL REBER) Is that the one you mean, Dad? Dad? Dad? Somewhere over the rainbow Bluebirds fly And the dreams that you dared to dream Really do come true.
That's good, but the longing, Jen.
Look up at the sky.
Someday I'll wish upon a star And wake up where the clouds are far behind me You should be playing her.
- I can't sing like that.
- You'll get it.
No, Jen's right.
You should be playing Dorothy.
Tiddley, get out.
We've just come to get Pete.
We're going to play some cricket.
We could use a silly point.
Get out! Peter Poofter.
Shut your mouth.
Shut it.
Go.
Go! Your boyfriend's a sissy, Jen.
He's an idiot.
Come on.
Let's keep singing.
I drink, I smoke, I swear They say I'm the Sheik of Scrubby Creek But I don't care! Jesus! Ah, fuck! Mum, no.
That was Chad Morgan with the Sheik of Scrubby Creek.
Dick? - Dick! - Huh? - Ohh.
- Shit! Are you alright? Get away.
Did you talk to them? - Dick, did you talk to them? - Go away! Ah! Mum! I'm OK.
I'm OK.
I'm fine.
I'm OK.
Ha! The flowers look great, Pop.
Yeah.
Dad doesn't grow flowers.
He grows vegies 'maties, cukes, radishes, carrots.
Mum doesn't even have to go to Lamberts.
We just eat them fresh.
Dad can grow anything.
Except passionfruit.
He tries and tries.
That bloody passionfruit! It just won't grow! Then he swears and Mum doesn't like that.
But I've heard Mum swear too.
Oh, let me tell you Just just sit for a minute, Pete.
Sit down.
Sit down for a tick, hey? How's your dad? Bubby won't say nothing.
Well You know.
It wasn't always like this.
When he was a boy, he was a bit like you.
A little darter.
Always on the go.
He didn't tap dance, but.
If he could just get off the drink.
I know.
Yeah, I know.
Yes, Dick.
OK.
Hey, kids.
- Hey, Lynnie.
- Hey.
- How are you? - Good.
- Hey, Pete.
How are you? - Hey! - Alright? - Good.
Yeah.
Good to see ya.
There you go.
- Hey? - Whoo! Let's go.
I'm glad you're back.
Thank you.
We'll see how we go.
Fair enough.
Six days.
I've still got the shakes.
You know? And feel pretty ordinary, but that's good, I suppose.
Yeah, I went to Lamberts and apologised.
I mean, nothing's changed, but .
.
I think I can get a few days' work at the council.
They'll take anybody, right? You know I'm going to try and back myself, bubby.
You know, like you always say.
Never give up.
You know I didn't mean to push you, bubby.
You know that, don't ya? I know that.
- How many times has he done this? - Betty.
- Promised he'll change and then - I know.
He won't change, bubby.
A drink is a drink.
Well, he stopped drinking.
He started Alcoholics Anonymous and he stopped gambling.
And how many times has he done that before? Betty! Maybe leave it for now, hey? (PLAYS JEEPERS CREEPERS) Where did you learn to play like that? In the movies.
Can I play modern songs instead of this? Oh, I don't have the music for modern Oh, I don't need music.
They're all in here.
It's true, Josie.
He hears a song once, twice, he can play it.
But I dunno, Pete.
You're just a kid.
Maybe we should wait a bit before we throw you to the Armidale wolves.
Please, Mum.
I can do this.
I might sing a bit too, if that's OK.
Well, Claire plays Friday nights.
Let's give Pete a whirl in the arvo.
See how he goes.
I'll pay him 30 shillings.
Lord knows, bubby, you could use the money.
And don't be upset if it doesn't go well.
You know? You've gotta be prepared for criticism, mate.
For opinions.
They're like bumholes everyone's got one.
I'll be alright.
You can go, Mum.
Oh.
You can do this.
You can do this.
(I hope.
) Where is he? I don't know.
Oh, God.
Oh.
Wop bop a loo bop a lop bam boom! Tutti frutti Oh, rutti Tutti frutti Oh, rutti Tutti frutti Oh, rutti Tutti frutti Oh, rutti Tutti frutti Oh, rutti, hey! Wop bop a loo bop a lop bam boom! I got a girl named Sue She knows just what to do, now I got a girl named Sue She knows just what to do She rocks to the east She rocks to the west But she is the girl that I love best Tutti frutti Oh, rutti Tutti frutti Oh, rutti, hey! Wop bop a loo bop a lop bam boom! Yeah! Dad! Dad! Oh, you should have heard it, Dad.
They loved it! I played and played and Miss Simone paid me.
30 shillings! And I bought you a meat pie.
Come on, darl.
I'm so proud of you.
Come here.
You were so good.
- We're gonna have a big celebration.
- Yay! I still don't see why you need to wear white shoes.
Because Jerry Lee Lewis wears them.
I have to wear dad's old cricket boots.
Well, it's not my fault we can't buy white shoes in Armidale.
Playing three times a week, Mum.
I have to give them a show.
See you later, alligator After a while, crocodile, ha! See you later, alligator After a while, crocodile Can't you see you're in my way now? Don't you know you cramp my style? Woo! We're millionaires.
In three and sixpences, Mum.
Hey! Do you reckon Dad will ever come watch me? I don't know, Petey.
Do you think I'm good enough to be on that? Amateur Hour? Well, why don't we go see? Would you like that? Love you, Mum.
More than chips.
I love you too.
Wake up, little Susie, wake up Wake up, little Susie, wake up We've both been sound asleep Wake up, little Susie, and weep Number 63.
That's me.
And we're in trouble deep Wake up, little Susie Wake up, little Susie Begin.
Come on over, baby, whole lotta shakin' goin' on Ha! Yes, I said come on over, baby Whole lotta shakin' goin' on We ain't fakin' Whole lotta shakin' goin' on I said shake, baby, shake-ah I said shake, baby, shake We ain't fakin' Whole lotta shakin' goin' on.
That was fabulous, Peter.
Really fabulous.
In all our years, we've never seen an audition that good.
- Out of this world! - Really fabulous Peter.
Peter! It was really good, son, but I'm sorry.
We don't think you're quite ready for Amateur Hour.
Number 64! Oh, sweetheart.
Come on.
- Yes, you will.
- I don't know, Jen.
You'll go places with your singing, I know it.
But they said I wasn't good enough.
Rubbish.
Those judges in Sydney, they're idiots.
They don't know nothing.
You're terrific, you hear me? Terrific.
You'll see.
You'll be gone like a shot.
Hey, Dad.
Do you know how hard it is for me with you like you are? Aren't you proud of me? What? Why aren't you ever proud of me, Daddy? I am proud of parts of ya.
But then, Pete, you know, I'm only proud of parts of myself.
Are you crying? Peter! What did you say? Nothing.
That boy has more good in him than you ever will.
Don't make him feel ashamed.
Why do you want to fill him with your poison? We wouldn't be eating without him.
Yes, I know that, Marion.
What do you want me to do about it? I want you to stop drinking rum at nine in the morning! I want you to get a job and support your family.
- You promised me, Dick.
- I can't do it, OK? - Are you satisfied? - Well, you can try! You can be a man and at least try Leave her alone! - Leave her alone! - Peter, no! Stop, Peter.
Don't be stupid.
- Don't be stupid! - Stop! Get out! Get out! Get out! Are you alright? Lynn, get a cloth.
So see you later, alligator, yeah! After a while, crocodile See you later, alligator So long, that's all Goodbye See ya later! He's good, isn't he? Mm.
Go in.
I'm sure Peter'd love to see you.
No.
- It's his time.
- No-one to talk with All by myself No-one to walk with But I'm happy on the shelf Ain't misbehavin' I'm saving my love for you Just you, ha! I know for certain the one I love I'm through with flirtin' It's you that I'm thinkin' of Ain't misbehavin' I'm savin' my love for you, ha! Like Jack Horner in the corner Don't go nowhere What do I care? Your kiss is all I've waited for Believe me Harry, there's a letter in my postbox.
Could you make sure that Marion gets that, please? Thanks, mate.
All the best.
I don't stay out late Don't care to go I'm home about eight Just me and my radio Ain't misbehavin' I'm saving my love for you, just you.
No-one will look me in the eye.
Walk down the street and everyone just turns away, like what Dick did is somehow our fault.
That's not true.
Couldn't get anyone to carry his coffin.
No-one.
The RSL sent these blokes.
Never even met them before.
You know, he loved his father despite everything.
Now look at him.
He's made of steel.
"My bubby.
"I messed up.
"I'm really sorry.
"I don't really know how it got like this.
"I just got lost.
"Just got lost.
" Hey, freckle face.
How're you going? OK.
Thanks for coming.
Not sure how many will show up today.
I can't come.
What? Dad won't let me.
Says it's not proper 'cause of what your dad did.
He's wrong but I'm sorry.
Why'd he shoot the bloody dog? Is Ro making you clean this up? The bastard.
- I can do it.
- No.
I can do it.
I want to help.
Pete, you shouldn't be in here.
I want to help.
Can't play at the pub anymore.
Josie told me.
I'm sort of boring without it, Mum.
Oh, baby, you're not.
Yes, I am.
Your dad loved music.
Did you know that? I think the reason he bec I think the reason he became like he did was because that never worked out for him.
Now, we can either crawl in a hole and die, we can let this kill us too, or we can live.
We can live.
I'll take care of you, Mum.
I'll look after you.
Pete, I'm so sorry.
I should be the one looking after you.
You forget about him.
He's a stinker.
He's bad news, kid.
Why did you lie all those years? Say you grew up in Tenterfield when you really lived here.
Yeah.
Out in the bush chasing kangaroos and eating koalas for lunch? It's what you taught me, Judy.
Never mess with a legend.
Never correct it.
No, I just And to be honest, Tenterfield sounded so much better in the lyric.
The son of George Woolnough Went off and got married And had a war baby But something was wrong It's easier to drink then go crazy And if there were questions about why the end was so sad Well, George had no answers about why his son Ever had need of a gun Time is a traveller Tenterfield saddler Turn your head Ride again, Jackaroo Think I see kangaroo Up ahead Oh, time is a meddler Tenterfield saddler, make your bed Fly away, cockatoo Down on the ground emu up ahead Time is a tale-teller Tenterfield saddler, turn your head Ride again, jackaroo Think I see kangaroo up ahead Tutti-frutti Oh, rutti Tutti-frutti Oh, rutti What do you think? I don't know, Dad.
We need somebody.
Yeah, but look at him.
Oh, he sings OK, and I've seen him dance.
Just gotta .
.
calm him down a bit.
She almost drives me crazy I got a girl named Daisy She almost drives me crazy A-wop-bop a-loo-bop A-wop bam boom! Excuse me.
How do you do? I'm Peter Bell.
And this is my son, Chris.
- Hey, mate.
- We just saw your act.
- Loved it.
- Yeah.
And we have a proposition for you.
- We're down to one Shade.
- We need a replacement.
You want me to replace him? Yeah, I know, he's Asian.
But don't worry, we're changing the act.
Now, we have an audition for Bandstand on Monday and we didn't want to waste the slot.
Well, what kind of act are you thinking of? - Brothers.
- They're all the rage.
They're all the rage now.
We don't look like brothers.
- Oh, we can fix that.
- We can fix that.
But we don't sound like brothers.
- Oh, we can fix that too.
- We can fix that.
- We'd have different last names.
- Already fixed that.
Gonna call you the Allen Brothers.
Chris Peter Allen.
I like it.
I like it too.
Now, we'll have to work day and night till the audition, get you boys in sync.
And I might have to change a few things in your style, mate.
(INTRO TO 'UP, UP AND AWAY' PLAYS) - Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon - You're out, Peter.
- You're late, you're late.
- Watch Chris.
Watch Chris.
Would you like to glide in my beautiful balloon Yes, that's it.
We could sail among the stars together, you and I For we can fly - We can fly - You might just want to keep your hands in your pockets, hey? Up, up and away in my beautiful My beautiful balloon Mate, no! Peter, bring it in, OK? Less hands, less hips.
Less everything, alright? .
.
my beautiful balloon We could sail along and sing a song beneath the skies Smoulder, smoulder.
- For we can fly - Yes! - Yes! - We can fly Suspended under the twilight canopy Yeah, yeah.
We'll search the clouds for a star to guide us That's good, Pete.
Yep, keep it in.
- Yeah, keep it in.
Nice and strong.
- If by some chance you find yourself loving me Yeah, nice and strong across the chest.
- We'll find a cloud to hide us - That's it.
- We'll keep the moon beside us - There you go, boys.
There you go.
Love is waiting there in my beautiful balloon Way up in the air in my beautiful balloon If you hold my hand we'll chase your dream across the sky For we can fly We can fly Hey! Oh oh! La, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la We can fly We can fly Up, up and away in my beautiful - My beautiful balloon - My beautiful - Balloon - Balloon Balloon.
Can I talk to you, Mr Henderson? Uh, you're right.
We were terrible.
Please give us another shot.
Me and me and my brother, we've been working on this act for years, day and night, since we were kids, you know? We really are good.
It's funny but I could've sworn I saw a Chris Bell in a group called The Two Shades with an Asian bloke just a couple of months ago.
I'm sorry, um We we got nervous.
That's the truth.
It's the first time in front of a camera.
But .
.
please, give us another shot.
We can make this work.
I promise you.
Now, when are you gonna be on? I'll get everyone watching.
I'll have Betty come over.
Well, it should be next week.
I'm so proud of you, Pete.
We all are.
Look at you on Bandstand.
Peter Woolnough, the boy next door.
Everyone's gonna be talking about you.
Well, I would never have made it here without you.
That's not true.
You backed yourself and you did it on your own.
I miss you, Mum.
I miss you too, love.
Peter, Chris.
This is Judy Stone, Col Joye, Patsy Ann Noble.
- How are you? - Hi.
- Lovely to meet you.
- Hi.
And this is another newcomer.
Livvy Olivia Newton-John.
Peter and Chris Allen.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Great to meet you.
- I love the hair.
- Oh, do you? - Yeah.
When you knock it, does it make a sound? Pete! I'm joking! I'm joking.
- Olivia? - Yeah.
Pete? Yes.
We're gonna make this nice and saucy.
Well, I'm just out of school I look real, real cool - Are you ready? - Cars.
I love fast cars.
My grandfather won the Nobel Peace Prize.
I'm a wild one I was an acrobat and a footy player.
I'm gonna keep 'em movin' wild Girls? Love 'em.
Is that OK? I'm gonna meet all the chicks Jump around and shake it Keep that energy up.
Happy, really happy! We're loving it.
Come on! Peter! - What's going on down there? - I don't know.
Are you getting a I think so.
Does this mean we're engaged? Oh! Well, I'm just out of school Like, I'm real, real, cool Got to shake, got to jive Got the message that I've got to be wild I'm a wild one Ooh, yeah! I'm a real wild child! That was great, guys.
That's it for today.
Well done, Peter.
- Terrific, Chris, as always.
- Thanks, Brian.
Marvellous, Livvy.
- I've got a date with Peter.
- You'd better watch out.
I hear he's a wild man.
- Oh, are you ready? - Yeah.
Where are we gonna go? Well, I thought that I'd give you a little education.
Kings Cross Chequers Nightclub.
Does that sound OK? My parents told me to watch out for you tonight.
Don't worry, you couldn't be in safer hands.
Come on! - So how much is this? - £15 a week.
£15 a week! - Oh, Peter! - Mum, I can afford it.
We're doing television ads.
You'll see.
They're on all the time.
In you come.
- Oh, I'll take that, Mum.
- Oh.
- Oh - I'll take that.
- Oh.
- So what do you think? Oh, it's gorgeous.
- Oh - My room's down here.
And you can have this one.
It's bigger and it has a sunroom.
And, Lynnie, you can sleep out there.
- I can see the ocean.
- You can get to swim in it every day.
Oh, I don't believe this.
Thank you, sweetheart.
I'll get a job.
I'll help with the rent.
No, what are you thanking me for, Mum? Look, I'd be living here anyway.
The cool look Get the modern look Get the Vaseline Hair Cream look Get the cool look Get the Vaseline Hair Cream look! 'Cause I've been everywhere, man I've been everywhere, man Cross the deserts bare, man I've breathed the mountain air, man Of travel I've had my share, man I've been everywhere Been to Tullamore, Seymour, Lismore, Mooloolaba, Nambour Maroochydore, Kilmore, Murwillumbah, Birdsville, Emmaville Wallaville, Cunnamulla, Condamine, Strathpine, Proserpine Ulladulla, Darwin, Gingin, Deniliquin, Muckadilla, Wallumbilla, Boggabilla, Kumbarilla, I'm a killer I've been everywhere, man I've been everywhere, man - Freckle Face! - Oh, my God! Jenny, look at you! Look at you, you tart! Have you come to hear me sing? No, I'm here to see Col Joye.
Oh, right.
Bitchy and a tart.
- Oh, can we get your autograph? - Oh, no, you can piss off! Hello! Come here.
When I saw my baby walkin' With another man today When I saw my baby walkin' With another man today When I asked her, "What's the matter?" This is what I heard her say "See you later, alligator" "After a while, crocodile" "See you later, alligator" On the house, Peter.
You're so good! Do you remember me? S-sorry, no.
I'm I I saw you in the crowd but No worries.
No reason you would remember.
I was a couple of years ahead of you.
Rob Matthews.
Oh, um Did you live on Cookes Road? - That's right.
- Oh! You're, um .
.
Ros's older brother.
Right again.
You, um, still live in town.
Oh, I teach at the high school.
Maths.
Wow! - You have a real job.
- Yeah.
Do do you have some time? I'd love to catch up.
Uh Oh, shit, shit, shit.
Let's go! Come on.
They're willing to look the other way if we leave town and we say nothing.
This could ruin you, Peter.
So I'm thinking a little tour of the Orient might be good for you boys.
Till things die down.
Not for long.
A couple of weeks.
OK? Do the kangaroo The kangaroo Behold the Kangaroo Twist! Bravo! Thank you! That was a great show.
Really enjoyed it.
- Thanks, mate.
- Mark.
Mark Herron.
- Adrienne.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- I'm Chris.
- Hello.
- This is Peter.
- Hello there.
- Hi.
Can I buy you all a drink? Yeah, of course you can.
We're Australian.
Waiter.
I just, uh, came from Australia.
Me and my fiance.
I'm afraid we didn't like your country too much.
Why not? Everyone loves Australia.
Well, they sort of ran us out of town.
My better half had a few problems.
Ding, ding, fuckin' ding.
Can someone turn that fucking light down! You're here with Judy Garland?! Yeah.
We're locked in because of the storm.
Can you get her to come and see our show? I'm afraid Judy is a little, um under the weather at the moment.
Judy! Judy! Sweetheart.
Oh, God.
Is she alright? There was some trouble in the gypsy village but, uh, you know, she just needs a few nights to recharge.
- Oh, OK.
- So do I.
That's why I'm here.
Time off for good behaviour.
Oh! - Cheers.
- Down the hatch.
Thank you for coming.
You're welcome.
Did you read the papers? "Booed off stage"? "Concert Fiasco.
" Honey "At 41, Judy Garland may have gone 'over the rainbow' "for the last time.
" I'm stuck in here reading this while you're off screwing a waitress! - What? - Oh, wasn't I loud enough for you? Who have you been screwing? Remember what the doctor said - your throat - you have to be very gentle.
- WHO?! - No-one! I was at the club in the Hilton.
You should be by my bed when I wake up! Here I am dying and - Oh, you're not dying! - .
.
you're going to nightclubs! Judy, baby.
Baby, stop that.
I'm not staying here while you go around screwing cocktail waitresses at the Hilton! There are no waitresses.
I saw an act.
A great act.
You'll love them.
Hmm.
You think so? Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Now, usually we finish with the Kangaroo Twist, the latest craze from Down Under.
But .
.
seeing as one of the greatest singing legends ever is here tonight, I'd like to finish with my favourite song of all time.
It really is.
Somewhere over the rainbow Way up high There's a land that I've heard of Once in a lullaby Ms Garland .
.
would you like to take over? The doctor said you shouldn't.
He said if you sang too soon you may never be able to do it again.
Stuff the quacks.
(You think you're pretty clever.
) Some day I'll wish upon a star And wake up where the clouds are far behind me Where troubles melt like lemon drops Way above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me Somewhere over the rainbow Bluebirds fly Birds fly over the rainbow Why, then, oh, why can't I? If happy little bluebirds fly Beyond the rainbow Why Oh, why Can't I? Bravo! Bravo! I knew what you were doing.
"Judy, sing for me.
"I'm so sorry you're angry because your fiance stayed out all night.
"Judy, please like me.
" Oh, I don't care if you like me.
I mean, I wouldn't mind if you did, of course.
But Sing for me.
What? You want me to like you.
Sing.
There's no-one here.
These are people.
- This is an audience.
Sing for them.
- No.
Give it everything.
Hold nothing back.
- No! - Sing, goddammit! - Sing! - No! Miss Miss Garland.
And I'm not your little .
.
monkey.
My little monkey! I had to say something.
Oh, I like you.
I like him.
And I know talent.
I know just what I'm going to do.
I'm going to manage you.
Judy Yeah, we just met.
And he has a singing partner.
- Get rid of him.
- No, I like singing with Chris.
He - And the girl that dances.
- Get rid of her first.
Because I have just the girl for you! You'll love her! I'm not interested in any boy from Austria.
It's Australia, Liza.
And he's not like an Australian.
I hate most of them.
God! Mama, I'm going back to sleep.
Just say hello.
No! For me.
Please.
She's dying to talk to you.
Right.
Um G'day! Look, I'm sure you're very nice but it's 3:00 in the morning here and I'm in no mood to talk to anybody.
Right.
Yeah, well, I can't wait either.
Bye.
Well? Yeah, she sounded like a lovely girl.
What did I tell you? Oh! So why doesn't she hook you up with her bloody daughter? I don't want to meet her.
Neither do I.
London is my lucky town.
You'll see it'll all work out.
But the boys are booked to go to Tokyo.
To the Japs? No! They bombed Pearl Harbor.
No.
The boys must come to England.
I insist.
I need a new opening act and - There you are! - Hey! I'll see you in London.
I'll send tickets! Let's go, go, go.
Don't wanna miss the plane.
Oh.
Oh.
There might be a few incidentals on the bill we didn't quite pay.
If you'd be a dear A few incidentals? Pete, if she left her bar bill, we'll be broke.
- You right? - Yeah.
She was loud, wasn't she? Oh, well, come home, then, sweetheart.
We all miss you.
I want to, but we have another tour to Japan, and then Korea.
What's the matter? Just plummeting to obscurity, Mum.
Same clubs, same faces, same songs.
We're just going in circles.
But you're doing so wonderfully.
I keep all the reviews you send.
And the money.
Oh, something big will happen for you soon, Pete.
I can feel it.
You're too good.
You're my son.
Can't believe it.
It'd be nuts.
Just like here drinking, starting fights.
Yeah.
Pete, that lady is crazy.
Yeah.
- Judy's on already? - Just started.
Chris, I wanna see.
Just in time I found you Just in time Before you came My time was running low I was lost The losing dice were tossed My bridges all were crossed - Nowhere to go - No time.
She wants you to meet Liza first.
What? N-now? She insisted, and when Judy insists Now you're here Whoa, whoa -- isn't Liza about to sing? - That's right.
- Well, she's not gonna want to see us now.
- No.
- Not you.
Judy just wants Peter to meet Liza.
Me? No.
Oh, come on.
Mark, no.
There you go, soldier.
- (Come with me.
) - Mm-mm.
You'll be right.
- She doesn't bite.
- You'll be right.
Good luck.
Shit! Shit, where is it? Oh, am I twisted here? Um Well, I don't see it anywhere.
Do you see it? What is it that you're looking for? Well, who the hell are you? Peter.
Peter Allen.
Um is that what you're looking for? Oh.
Oh, no.
Are you the Austrian? Australian, yeah.
Sorry.
Yeah, that's me.
You're on.
- Now? - Mm-hm.
Oh, God.
Shit.
Well, bring my shoes! - These these here? - Yeah, yeah.
Liza! Liza! - Liza, Liza! - Whoa, Jesus! - Gotta put your shoes on first! - Oh.
Thanks.
Lonely - Ugh.
I'm gonna puke.
- Lovely Everybody out there, they're just people.
Day Most of them will just be looking at your mum.
Well, you're right.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Liza Minnelli.
Good luck.
If I am fancy free And I love to wander It's just the gypsy in my soul No cares I have no strings Can't you see my heart My heart has wings It has wings There is no other life - Of which I'm fonder - Can you believe it? I gave birth to my greatest competitor and I never even knew it.
The gypsy in my soul If I am fancy free And I love To wander - Why did you matchmake me with Liza? - Why not Chris? Honey, I was never any good at picking husbands.
I was married five times and two of them were bi.
Maybe I should have married you.
Yeah, that would've worked.
But admit, kid it surprised you.
I was right.
You fell in love with her.
The gypsy in my soul.
I did.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Wasn't she terrific? Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Liza Minnelli.
Wow.
Why aren't you upstairs? The party's still going strong.
You were amazing tonight.
It was more interesting just to watch you walk across that stage than it is to see most other people's entire acts.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
But it was awful.
When I went on, she was .
.
well, Mama all smiles.
And then after a few songs She turned.
- Could you see it? - Yeah.
She just Well, she went from Mama to Judy.
You know, I thought she was gonna take the mic.
Well, so did I.
I mean, she grabbed for it twice.
- You saw that? - Yeah.
You were always Judy's daughter before.
Tonight .
.
you were Liza Minnelli.
You know .
.
Mama might be right about you.
Are you are you gonna stay down here? Because I know people would like to see you upstairs.
- Well, are you sticking around? - Yeah.
Then lead me in.
('I LIKE IT' BY GERRY AND THE PACEMAKERS) I like it I like it I like the way you run your fingers through my hair And I like the way you tickle my chin And I like the way you let me come in When your mama ain't there I like it I like it I like the words you say And all things you do And I like the way you straighten my tie And I like the way you're winking your eye And I know I like you You know I like you Do that again You're driving me insane Kiss me once more That's another thing I like you for I like it Are you liking it too? Peter? Peter, come quickly.
Let go of me! No-one is going out with you, Judy.
It is too late and you Don't you tell me what to do! - Judy, what's going on? - Get out! You! Out! No-one sees the legend before the false eyelashes are on.
Mama, we've all seen you SHUT UP! You look fat in that! Take that off and leave me alone Yeah, alright, stop! That's enough! Right now! You don't speak to your daughter like that.
Do you hear me? Never.
It's time for you to go to bed.
There's nothing like a bit of drama at the end of the day.
You know, I never saw anyone handle Mama like that.
Most people are terrified of her.
I've had a lot of practice with drunks.
You get them all? I think so.
And you'll be glad to know she officially named me Keeper of the Pills.
Well, then, let me show you how it's done.
You know, everyone thinks Mama is so strong, but .
.
she can be thrown off-kilter by the slightest It's not her fault.
Mama never had a childhood.
She was always working.
At 15, the studio started giving her these pills -- pills to pep her up and pills to knock her out.
Bolts and jolts.
And she's been on 'em ever since.
And so, what you have to do, since you can't stop it, is give her half-doses.
How long have you done this for? Well, since I was .
.
12.
And that's when I became Keeper of the Pills.
I was only girl in Los Angeles with her own stomach pump .
.
for the times when Mama outsmarted me.
I thought my family was nuts.
(Peter Allen.
) I have to go to New York tomorrow, and I hate that.
We've been having so much fun in London.
What's the play called? Flora the Red Menace.
It's a musical about Commies.
That sounds like a hit.
I must go to the little girls' room.
- Peter.
- Judy.
Peter? Play safe.
What are you two gonna do on your own? You haven't been out of each other's pockets for three weeks.
I know.
I don't wanna go.
- Come with me.
- I can't.
You know that.
Then promise you won't go out with anybody else no-one while I'm gone.
Only if you promise to do the same.
There's only one way to keep that kind of promise.
You need to get engaged.
Well, wait a minute why not? I think it's a super idea.
- Lize - Well, what? Don't you like me? - You know I do.
- Well, then, let's do it.
Surprise the world.
Alright.
Let's be engaged! Oh, Peter.
What's going on here? Well, you'll never guess.
Mama, we're gonna get married.
What marvellous news! Congratulations, baby! Peter! A toast! Waiter! Champagne! Peter! Well, we're both young and well, so alike.
Peter is nutty and wild.
Well, they throw him out of parties sometimes.
We only have one rule.
We must both be in bed before the TV goes off.
You know at 6:00am.
Made it! When we're married, we both plan to work six months a year.
We'll work like all get-out.
Yeah, Chris and me will tour with Judy, and then we'll do the Playboy Club and the Tonight Show for eight weeks.
We'll make a ton of money and then travel for months.
It'll be fun! Oh, no.
No, look, no.
There's nothing wrong with Judy It's all lies.
She just had the flu.
Well I'm trying to be my own kind of singer, you know? Singing my songs.
I mean, I'm never gonna sing Somewhere Over The Rainbow.
Why would I? Is that OK? It's not my money.
You think I'm with Liza to get to the Garland fortune? What fortune? Judy's $3 million in debt and the IRS is suing her.
So how do you feel about being called Mr Minnelli? Just Can I just get married first, mate, before you start hitting me with that shit, OK? Just get out of my face! Sick of this shit! What are you doing? I think you need a new you.
I hear we're going to be related.
Oh.
Yes, I think so.
Well .
.
would you like a drink? We're having double vodkas.
Oh.
Why not? Thank you, Ms Garland.
Judy.
Judy.
I just wanna say you've always been my idea of somebody.
Then we're going to get along just fine.
Oh, waiter! I just met Judy Garland.
Oh, Mum, I'll imagine you'll be seeing a fair bit of her! Oh! Oh, Pete.
A wedding.
Are you sure this is what you want? Are you happy? Yes, Mum.
I am.
I'm so glad.
I have to tell you, sweetheart -- I've been looking at all the people here and I know I'm just a nobody from Australia, but I wouldn't trust that man over there.
Mum, that's Yul Brynner.
- Oh.
- Mmm.
Thought he looked familiar.
By the power vested in me by the great state of New York, I now pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Oh! Good catch! - Oh, darling.
- A picture with your mum, Liza.
- Yeah.
- Tell me.
I chose that.
(PLAYS OPENING CHORDS OF 'I STILL CALL AUSTRALIA HOME') What are you doing up here? Oh.
.
Just, um .
.
drinking and tinkling.
What's the matter, baby? It's just .
.
I'm scared.
I'm a saloon singer and I'll be singing The Impossible Dream when I'm 80.
Well, what brought this on? I love your act.
You've been on The Tonight Show, like, 10 times.
But it's just when I meet people, I tell them I'm Peter Allen.
The first thing they say is, "Yeah, aren't you married to Liza Minnelli?" Well, that'll change.
Like with me and Mama.
- The same thing will happen to you.
- No.
You're a star, girl.
Not me.
I'm in photos with you and Judy, it looks like I'm in them by mistake.
The guy who just happened to be passing and stuck his head in.
Even in my own wedding photos.
- Well, that's not true.
- It is.
Alright? And it's not your fault.
I'm just .
.
I'm not one of those people born to be a star.
I've got to make it happen just by being up there.
Well, don't be so blue! Hmm? Come downstairs and have dinner.
I've got to leave for the Poconos in the morning.
Well, come on! I'll open a bottle of wine.
I learned from Mama, just keep working.
You're one thing until you're something else, you know? No, things are great.
Well, they don't sound it.
It's just sometimes .
.
sometimes I think I've finally been found out.
Well, what does that mean? Come on, let's be honest.
I don't .
.
dance that great.
I don't play the piano that great.
- Rubbish.
- I don't sing that great.
Rubbish.
I'm second rate at a lot of things, Mum.
Don't talk like that.
It's true.
You know, I can sell a song.
I can make people believe.
But .
.
that's about it.
You know, I just make the best with what I've got.
Now, you listen to me.
You are not second rate.
And you never have been.
Thanks, Mum.
I love you, sweetheart.
What are you going to do, Peter? You've got nothing left.
There are no more songs.
Peter! Peter! Just one more.
Wow.
My heart's still in it, but my hips have just about given up.
So This one's for Liza.
(PLAYS 'I HONESTLY LOVE YOU') Maybe I hang around here a little more than I should We both know I've got somewhere else to go But I've got something to tell you I never thought I would And I believe you really ought to know I love you I honestly love you You don't have to answer I see it in your eyes Maybe it was better left unsaid This is pure and simple And you must realise It's coming from my heart and not my head I love you I honestly love you And if we were both were born in another place and time This moment might be ending in a kiss There you are with yours And here I am with mine I guess I'll just leaving it at this Did you ever love me? Or was it all just for the connection, for show? No, no.
It's just God, I don't know.
It was It was wrong .
.
for you to see it like that.
I'm sorry.
I love you.