Phineas and Ferb s01e04 Episode Script
The Fast and the Phineas (15 min)
So Ferb, what should we do today? I mean, besides giving Perry a bath.
(chatters) What is that wonderful noise? Awesome.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! Oh, I have got to take a new picture of myself for my blog.
I didn't realize mine is already a week old.
That's better.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MOM'S CAR?! We tricked it out! You don't even know how to drive.
Well, duh.
That's why Ferb built this remote.
Oh, you are so busted.
Mom?! Mom?! Mom?! Um, where's Mom? She's playing bridge at Mrs.
Garcia-Shapiro's! Heh, they won't get away with it this time! Oh, Candace, dear.
Bubela, how good to see you.
What a coincidence.
Do you know your mom is here? Mmm-mmm.
Yeah, I do, Mrs.
Garcia-Shapiro.
I need to talk to her if you don't mind.
Oy-vey.
Look how tall you are now.
You must've grown a couple of inches since the last time I saw you.
That was last week, Mrs.
Garcia-Shapiro.
Well your mom's inside, dear.
Where are your braces? I thought you were wearing braces.
Yeah.
MOM! MOM! MOM! What is it, Candace? Oh, you have got to see what Phineas and Ferb are doing! Hey, Ferb.
What's the red button for? MOM! What is it? What do you want me to see? Quick! Hi, Mom! Hi, boys! Well, if that's all, I'll just be getting back to the game.
Good thing we've beefed up the suspension.
Woah! What else can it do? Hi, Phineas.
Oh, hi, Isabella.
What'cha doin'? We're entering The Swamp Oil 500 today.
Aren't you gonna need a pit crew? Do you know a pit crew? Well I know a few people who work well together.
Great! You're hired! See you at the track.
Hey Ferb, where's Perry? Good morning, Agent P.
The evil Dr.
Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks.
For reasons completely unknown, he's purchased a giant airship or blimp, as the kids say.
Your mission is to find out why, and if necessary, put a stop to it.
Perry! Hi, Phineas.
I got your pit crew.
Cool! See ya in the pits.
Okay, girls.
We're dealing with a 426 cubic inch, fully-blown V8, with hypo lifters, radical cam, and a limited slip differential.
Would that be electronically fuel-injected? Phineas?! PHINEAS! PHIN-E-AS! Hey! I can't hear the cars! Hey, Candace! I didn't know you were a racing fan! Jeremy.
Who, me? Oh, yeah! Yeah, I'm a big fan of those, those uh.
.
uh that red one is cute! Oh, that's Billy Ray Digler's car.
He's great.
Yeah, yeah, he's the best.
That Billy Roy.
Billy Ray.
Billy Ray.
I-I love it when he turns left and then he turns left again, and then- And in the 3rd lane, the newcomers Team Phineas! Now is it just me, or does he look a little bit young to be behind the wheel of a 700 horse power racing machine? Yes.
Yes, he does.
And look, he's already got his own screaming fans! PHINEAS! Hey, Candace is rooting for us! Candace, you're on the big screen! PHINEAS! And your little brother's gonna be on TV! Phineas--? On TV? TV! That's it! They are so busted! Can you wait here for a second? Thanks.
What is it, Candace? I'm right in the middle of a 3-No trump.
Turn on the TV! All right.
All right, Candace.
This better be good.
Well? Well? Do you see it? Just a second, honey.
Turn on the cable box first.
Hmm.
All right.
Wait.
'Kay, that's not it.
Um, is it this one? No, this is another phone.
If summer only lasts- Oh, I turned on the stereo! Mom, hurry up! Okay, just a second! Are you embarrassed about flaking? Itching? Peeling? Candace, this is a dandruff commercial.
Is there something you're trying to tell me? Okay, Ferb.
Are we good to go? And with the race about to start, there's the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated blimp! Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Ah, Perry the Platypus.
I'm glad you're here.
Actually, I was just getting ready to serve some PLATYPUS UNDER GLASS! You're just in time to witness my latest invention my Deflate-inator Ray! Which I will demonstrate by deflating all the tires of the Jefferson County Motor Speedway! After which, I will deflate everything in the Tri-State Area! That way, if anyone wants anything flated, they will have to talk to me.
Phineas, you are in big trouble, mister--! Candace, you've got a little Smile! Souvenir picture? Only a dollar.
Wait a second.
Hey! Now, I gotcha! Hey hey, Missy.
Two pictures, two bucks.
Oh, yeah, uh, I've only got a dollar, but uh, I just want the one.
You can just tear the other one up, 'kay? I've got 'em, NOW! And on the fast on the inside lane is Number 42, Team Phineas! Hey, Ferb.
Do you think we can get any more power? I mean, I know it's just a battery.
But I was thinking, let's open it up and see what this puppy can- Uh, Ferb? We're actually slowing down now.
Ferb? Hello? OH YEAH! NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT! Hey, Ferb.
We should bring Phineas in for a pit stop.
All right, Fireside Girls, let's move, move move! That helmet looks so manly.
Thanks.
Hit it, Ferb.
I'm so proud of you girls.
And the bow was a nice touch, Gretchen.
Listen to those fools, as they worship their candy-colored race car man.
How about a little demonstration of my deflationary prowess? I got it! (Song: Go, Go, Phineas) The Team Phineas car is avoiding every obstacle! It's like he can see the whole darn track at once! Go Phineas! Go, go Phineas! OH YEAH! We're okay! Well Mom, what do you think of this? You'velooked better.
Huh? What do you mean--? Already they fear me, listen to their screams, huh? Imagine the mayhem once my Deflate-inator ray is fully charged.
Run! Run like the wind, my little indentured rodent.
And I will give you some cheese.
Heh, I know I had some around here somewhere.
I think there's some- There used to be some Roquefort around the back here.
I don't.
.
Hmm? Hmm.
I suppose I should've seen that coming.
But Mom, you've gotta believe me! Wait a minute.
I bet it's still on TV! That's good, Candace.
Go watch a little TV.
And look at this amazing finish.
M-m-mom-mom, quick! Come look-look-look-look-look!! All right! I'm coming.
Oh no! A blimp is about to hit the broadcasting tower! Oh, the hu- Ah-huh? Meap.
Deal me back in, Viv.
Hmm.
Looks like we're walking.
"Why don't you go back home, Candace?" "I'm busy with my bridge game, Candace?" She has no idea!! Gotcha.
MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! Oh, Candace, hello.
I can't believe you grown so much, it's unbelievable-- MOM! Mom, you've gotta see this! It's about your car! All right.
Come on, come on, come on! Candace, you're wearing out the heels of my shoes.
See Mom?! Look, look! I told you-- But who did this? Phineas and Ferb.
You mean Yeah, yeah, yeah! they? They washed my car!? Yes!!-- No-- What? It's beautiful! I gotta admit, I thought you we're exaggerating a bit, but this is really worth getting excited about! Hi, Mom, we're home! Hey, boys! I saw what you did today.
Yeah? How'd you like it? I loved it! Now who wants some snacks? Thanks, Mom! Honey, close your mouth.
(chatters) What is that wonderful noise? Awesome.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! Oh, I have got to take a new picture of myself for my blog.
I didn't realize mine is already a week old.
That's better.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MOM'S CAR?! We tricked it out! You don't even know how to drive.
Well, duh.
That's why Ferb built this remote.
Oh, you are so busted.
Mom?! Mom?! Mom?! Um, where's Mom? She's playing bridge at Mrs.
Garcia-Shapiro's! Heh, they won't get away with it this time! Oh, Candace, dear.
Bubela, how good to see you.
What a coincidence.
Do you know your mom is here? Mmm-mmm.
Yeah, I do, Mrs.
Garcia-Shapiro.
I need to talk to her if you don't mind.
Oy-vey.
Look how tall you are now.
You must've grown a couple of inches since the last time I saw you.
That was last week, Mrs.
Garcia-Shapiro.
Well your mom's inside, dear.
Where are your braces? I thought you were wearing braces.
Yeah.
MOM! MOM! MOM! What is it, Candace? Oh, you have got to see what Phineas and Ferb are doing! Hey, Ferb.
What's the red button for? MOM! What is it? What do you want me to see? Quick! Hi, Mom! Hi, boys! Well, if that's all, I'll just be getting back to the game.
Good thing we've beefed up the suspension.
Woah! What else can it do? Hi, Phineas.
Oh, hi, Isabella.
What'cha doin'? We're entering The Swamp Oil 500 today.
Aren't you gonna need a pit crew? Do you know a pit crew? Well I know a few people who work well together.
Great! You're hired! See you at the track.
Hey Ferb, where's Perry? Good morning, Agent P.
The evil Dr.
Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks.
For reasons completely unknown, he's purchased a giant airship or blimp, as the kids say.
Your mission is to find out why, and if necessary, put a stop to it.
Perry! Hi, Phineas.
I got your pit crew.
Cool! See ya in the pits.
Okay, girls.
We're dealing with a 426 cubic inch, fully-blown V8, with hypo lifters, radical cam, and a limited slip differential.
Would that be electronically fuel-injected? Phineas?! PHINEAS! PHIN-E-AS! Hey! I can't hear the cars! Hey, Candace! I didn't know you were a racing fan! Jeremy.
Who, me? Oh, yeah! Yeah, I'm a big fan of those, those uh.
.
uh that red one is cute! Oh, that's Billy Ray Digler's car.
He's great.
Yeah, yeah, he's the best.
That Billy Roy.
Billy Ray.
Billy Ray.
I-I love it when he turns left and then he turns left again, and then- And in the 3rd lane, the newcomers Team Phineas! Now is it just me, or does he look a little bit young to be behind the wheel of a 700 horse power racing machine? Yes.
Yes, he does.
And look, he's already got his own screaming fans! PHINEAS! Hey, Candace is rooting for us! Candace, you're on the big screen! PHINEAS! And your little brother's gonna be on TV! Phineas--? On TV? TV! That's it! They are so busted! Can you wait here for a second? Thanks.
What is it, Candace? I'm right in the middle of a 3-No trump.
Turn on the TV! All right.
All right, Candace.
This better be good.
Well? Well? Do you see it? Just a second, honey.
Turn on the cable box first.
Hmm.
All right.
Wait.
'Kay, that's not it.
Um, is it this one? No, this is another phone.
If summer only lasts- Oh, I turned on the stereo! Mom, hurry up! Okay, just a second! Are you embarrassed about flaking? Itching? Peeling? Candace, this is a dandruff commercial.
Is there something you're trying to tell me? Okay, Ferb.
Are we good to go? And with the race about to start, there's the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated blimp! Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Ah, Perry the Platypus.
I'm glad you're here.
Actually, I was just getting ready to serve some PLATYPUS UNDER GLASS! You're just in time to witness my latest invention my Deflate-inator Ray! Which I will demonstrate by deflating all the tires of the Jefferson County Motor Speedway! After which, I will deflate everything in the Tri-State Area! That way, if anyone wants anything flated, they will have to talk to me.
Phineas, you are in big trouble, mister--! Candace, you've got a little Smile! Souvenir picture? Only a dollar.
Wait a second.
Hey! Now, I gotcha! Hey hey, Missy.
Two pictures, two bucks.
Oh, yeah, uh, I've only got a dollar, but uh, I just want the one.
You can just tear the other one up, 'kay? I've got 'em, NOW! And on the fast on the inside lane is Number 42, Team Phineas! Hey, Ferb.
Do you think we can get any more power? I mean, I know it's just a battery.
But I was thinking, let's open it up and see what this puppy can- Uh, Ferb? We're actually slowing down now.
Ferb? Hello? OH YEAH! NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT! Hey, Ferb.
We should bring Phineas in for a pit stop.
All right, Fireside Girls, let's move, move move! That helmet looks so manly.
Thanks.
Hit it, Ferb.
I'm so proud of you girls.
And the bow was a nice touch, Gretchen.
Listen to those fools, as they worship their candy-colored race car man.
How about a little demonstration of my deflationary prowess? I got it! (Song: Go, Go, Phineas) The Team Phineas car is avoiding every obstacle! It's like he can see the whole darn track at once! Go Phineas! Go, go Phineas! OH YEAH! We're okay! Well Mom, what do you think of this? You'velooked better.
Huh? What do you mean--? Already they fear me, listen to their screams, huh? Imagine the mayhem once my Deflate-inator ray is fully charged.
Run! Run like the wind, my little indentured rodent.
And I will give you some cheese.
Heh, I know I had some around here somewhere.
I think there's some- There used to be some Roquefort around the back here.
I don't.
.
Hmm? Hmm.
I suppose I should've seen that coming.
But Mom, you've gotta believe me! Wait a minute.
I bet it's still on TV! That's good, Candace.
Go watch a little TV.
And look at this amazing finish.
M-m-mom-mom, quick! Come look-look-look-look-look!! All right! I'm coming.
Oh no! A blimp is about to hit the broadcasting tower! Oh, the hu- Ah-huh? Meap.
Deal me back in, Viv.
Hmm.
Looks like we're walking.
"Why don't you go back home, Candace?" "I'm busy with my bridge game, Candace?" She has no idea!! Gotcha.
MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! Oh, Candace, hello.
I can't believe you grown so much, it's unbelievable-- MOM! Mom, you've gotta see this! It's about your car! All right.
Come on, come on, come on! Candace, you're wearing out the heels of my shoes.
See Mom?! Look, look! I told you-- But who did this? Phineas and Ferb.
You mean Yeah, yeah, yeah! they? They washed my car!? Yes!!-- No-- What? It's beautiful! I gotta admit, I thought you we're exaggerating a bit, but this is really worth getting excited about! Hi, Mom, we're home! Hey, boys! I saw what you did today.
Yeah? How'd you like it? I loved it! Now who wants some snacks? Thanks, Mom! Honey, close your mouth.