Phineas and Ferb s02e13 Episode Script
Thaddeus and Thor (15 min)
All right Candace, I'm off to the grocery store.
You're in charge.
Whoa-whoa-whoa wai-wai-wait By "in charge", does that mean I'm in control of everything around here while you're gone? Yes.
Including Phineas and Ferb? I'm the complete overlord of them? Suddenly I'm a little scared.
But, technically, yes.
So like, in a court of law, anyâ Candace! I'll be back later.
Excellent.
Oh, boys! Hear ye, hear ye! Mom has left me in charge, so I hereby demand that you do nothing crazy today.
No building any whoosy-whatzits, or goozy-mahookoffs! In other words, don't be the world's most annoying brothers for one afternoon, okay? Your brothers are annoying you, too? Hi, I'm Mandy.
And me and my world's most annoying brothers are visiting our aunt next door for the weekend.
Oh, you're Mrs.
Weaver's niece.
You have annoying brothers? Oh, my gosh! My brothers, Thaddeus and Thor, are constantly building the most annoying contraptions on Earth! Soapbox cars with lawn mower engines, Uh-huh! tire swings that launch over the roof, Uh-huh! a mini shopping center for the cat! Finally! Someone who relates! Listen to how annoying Phineas and Ferb are.
One time Gum me.
'Sup, chumps? Thaddeus.
Thor.
Overheard you two like to build stuff.
Where we come from, we're known as the best.
Jealous? No.
No, I'm not.
Well, you should be.
Today, we're building the most awesome fort ever.
What do you think of that, suckers? Cool.
Good luck.
Gum me.
Puh-lease.
Hey, where's Perry? Agent P? Agent P? Agent P? Where is he, Carl? I don't know, sir.
Maybe he decided to quit.
Quit? Well, why would he wanna do that? Well Remember his last mission? You were pretty tough on him, sir.
Hmm.
You're right, Carl.
I can be pretty rough sometimes.
Poor Agent P.
Do you think the little guy will ever forgive me? Oh! Agent P! You're here! Ahem! So, Dr.
Doofenshmirtz has been sighted in the Danville Park.
We need you to make sure no one is in any danger.
There he goes.
Jeez, Carl, just hope I wasn't too rough on him this time.
I don't know, sir.
He looked pretty upset to me.
I hate myself.
I dunno, Candace.
In terms of obnoxiousness, I'm sure my brothers have your brothers beat.
I beg to differ.
Yes, they're both obnoxious, but my brothers' stuff has a sprinkling of awesomeness, which makes it that much more annoying! Um, have you not been listening? Today, my brothers are building a fort and it'll probably be the most obnoxiously awesome fort ever built! Not if my brothers are building one! Oh, yeah? Yeah! It's on, sister! Well, Thor, I know who we're gonna outdo today! There you are! I order you to get out there and build a fort! I thought you wanted us to take the day off and not annoy you.
Those kids next door are building a fort and I will be annoyed if theirs is better than yours! Candace, we don't do this to compete.
We do it for fun.
And for the ladies.
Rrrrrow.
Well, do it 'cause I say so! Doofenshmirtz Family Reunion Oh, hi, Perry the Platypus.
Welcome to the Doofenshmirtz family reunion.
They're just about to start the dreaded kickball game that my mother organizes every year.
The one my brother's team always wins.
You see, I'm not very coordinated with my feet.
But with my hands Hey, watch this.
See? I hold the cup-stacking world record.
But does my mother care? No! You see, Perry the Platypus, throughout my childhood, my mother's love was always inexplicably linked to kickball.
You know, I thinkâ I think this is best expressed through song.
(Song: "Couldn't Kick My Way Into Her Heart") My mother's love was always inexplicably linked to kickball And my brother was an expert from the start But I lacked finesse So when put to the test I couldn't kick my way right into her heart Ladies and gentlemen, Love Händel! Oh, yeah! He tried playing rugby And soccer and football He tried kick the can and even martial arts But even with this dedication I still got no coordination! He couldn't kick his way right into her heart Oh, yeah! Goodnight, Gimmelshtump! How do you like that, Perry the Platypus? Love Händel, in my flashback! I know people.
This year, it's going to be different! W-W-Wait right here, I'll show you! Behold! The Kickinator 5000! Could you help me practice, please, please? Just take the ball and go over there and then just roll it to me.
Go ahead.
Any time.
I'm ready.
Well, youâ You threw it too early! Couldn't you tell I wasn't ready? Come on, try again.
O-Okay, do it right this time.
It's, uh, you know, it's a process.
What'cha doin'? Building a fort.
What are you doing? Showin' two chumps how to build a fort! Oh, no, he di'n't! Phineas, how can I help? Stainless steel 18-8 woodscrews, eh? The choice of amateurs! Why? What kind of screws are your brothers using? That's classified.
Isabella! Get a tarp over that thing ASAP! What color? Hey, where's Harry? Yo! Over here! Well, he is a contractor.
They don't do much.
Okay, slowly.
Not so fast! I can hardly keep up with it! Heads up, Heinz! Ugh! Hey, you know what? Justâ Just-Just bring the ball in front of the Kickinator.
Justâ Put it right thâ Wait, what are you doing? I didn't say a mile away! Right here! Bring it closer.
Okay.
No, noâ Oh.
That's a little bit better.
Step back and get ready to witness some real kicking.
I did it! I did it! I still did it! Alright, guys, it's do or die time.
This is the chance to really show your stuff, 'cause there's no way you're gonna lose to a couple of lame-os and their loser sister! I can hear you! I know! I said it loud! Mom! Gotta get rid of her! Oh, Mom! You're home, you're home! But, uh I-I think you should go back to the grocery store.
Why? Because Iâ I bet you forgot, uh That stuff! Oh, I guess I did.
All right, throw these in the kitchen and I'll be right back.
Boy, that was close.
Oh! I'm next! All right, easy out! Everybody move in! Hey, you're not even a Doofenshmirtz anymore! I kept the name! You can do it, Dad! He can't really do it.
Welcome, citizens of Danville! I give you the architectural stylings of Thaddeus and Thor! Whoa! That's nice.
Pfft.
What you architectural illiterates see here is a split-level edifice, complete with slide and licorice dispenser.
Huh? What? People, people, I'm not gonna soft pedal this.
That was adequate, but I think we're ready to witness the greatest architectural feat this town has ever seen! I give you Phineas and Ferb! You call that an architectural feat?! What?! Have you lost your minds?! You've completely humiliated me in front of everyone! But, Candace, thisâ Phineas, all summer long, you build the most amazing things.
And the one time I reach out to you as a sister, the one time I count on you, you give me this? But, Candaceâ No! Just leave me alone! Excuse me! Candace, wait! Whoa! Whoa-ho! Ladies and gentlemen, topping our fort is our homage to old-school construction.
And now for the rest of it.
Ferb? Tada! Our modern take on a well-known classic! I I did it.
I did it! Who's the loser now, huh? L-O-S-E-R! Who's the loser? You are! Let's boogie! That's right! Let's boogie! You're out.
Oh, Roger! My son! You make me so proud, again! But Ow! Well, here's the foyer.
All imported marble, by the way.
Here's the bowling alley.
Pool.
Telescope.
Terracotta army room.
JET ENGINE WIND TUNNEL! And scoring stage with 40-piece orchestra.
We don't, however, have a licorice dispenser.
That was a nice touch.
Yeah, that rocks! Nice going.
You broke their brains.
Come on, boys.
I'm taking you home.
Hey, I got the stuff.
Thanks, Mom.
At least you came through.
Well, Candace, as much as I hate to say this, your brothers are the best.
A ten-story addition with a swimming pool! Ugh! Why didn't you think of that?! Could it be true? Candace, have you seen this? I'm looking at it! Wait, where are you? In the kitchen! When I said, "throw these in the kitchen," I didn't mean it literally! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on, Mom! Candace! I'm not going anywhere until you take care of this mess! Well, fun's fun, but there are those pesky zoning laws.
Ooh.
I just felt a disturbance in the cup-stacking universe.
I think my record's been broken.
That wasn't so hard, now, was it? Mom, let's go, let's go, let's go! Mom, I've been trying to tell you all summer! They make these amazing things! Look! Candace, you're right! It is amazing! Hey, Mom.
We've built a fort.
It's wonderful! Isn't it great? The boys are starting to take an interest in building things.
Who wants stuff? We do!
You're in charge.
Whoa-whoa-whoa wai-wai-wait By "in charge", does that mean I'm in control of everything around here while you're gone? Yes.
Including Phineas and Ferb? I'm the complete overlord of them? Suddenly I'm a little scared.
But, technically, yes.
So like, in a court of law, anyâ Candace! I'll be back later.
Excellent.
Oh, boys! Hear ye, hear ye! Mom has left me in charge, so I hereby demand that you do nothing crazy today.
No building any whoosy-whatzits, or goozy-mahookoffs! In other words, don't be the world's most annoying brothers for one afternoon, okay? Your brothers are annoying you, too? Hi, I'm Mandy.
And me and my world's most annoying brothers are visiting our aunt next door for the weekend.
Oh, you're Mrs.
Weaver's niece.
You have annoying brothers? Oh, my gosh! My brothers, Thaddeus and Thor, are constantly building the most annoying contraptions on Earth! Soapbox cars with lawn mower engines, Uh-huh! tire swings that launch over the roof, Uh-huh! a mini shopping center for the cat! Finally! Someone who relates! Listen to how annoying Phineas and Ferb are.
One time Gum me.
'Sup, chumps? Thaddeus.
Thor.
Overheard you two like to build stuff.
Where we come from, we're known as the best.
Jealous? No.
No, I'm not.
Well, you should be.
Today, we're building the most awesome fort ever.
What do you think of that, suckers? Cool.
Good luck.
Gum me.
Puh-lease.
Hey, where's Perry? Agent P? Agent P? Agent P? Where is he, Carl? I don't know, sir.
Maybe he decided to quit.
Quit? Well, why would he wanna do that? Well Remember his last mission? You were pretty tough on him, sir.
Hmm.
You're right, Carl.
I can be pretty rough sometimes.
Poor Agent P.
Do you think the little guy will ever forgive me? Oh! Agent P! You're here! Ahem! So, Dr.
Doofenshmirtz has been sighted in the Danville Park.
We need you to make sure no one is in any danger.
There he goes.
Jeez, Carl, just hope I wasn't too rough on him this time.
I don't know, sir.
He looked pretty upset to me.
I hate myself.
I dunno, Candace.
In terms of obnoxiousness, I'm sure my brothers have your brothers beat.
I beg to differ.
Yes, they're both obnoxious, but my brothers' stuff has a sprinkling of awesomeness, which makes it that much more annoying! Um, have you not been listening? Today, my brothers are building a fort and it'll probably be the most obnoxiously awesome fort ever built! Not if my brothers are building one! Oh, yeah? Yeah! It's on, sister! Well, Thor, I know who we're gonna outdo today! There you are! I order you to get out there and build a fort! I thought you wanted us to take the day off and not annoy you.
Those kids next door are building a fort and I will be annoyed if theirs is better than yours! Candace, we don't do this to compete.
We do it for fun.
And for the ladies.
Rrrrrow.
Well, do it 'cause I say so! Doofenshmirtz Family Reunion Oh, hi, Perry the Platypus.
Welcome to the Doofenshmirtz family reunion.
They're just about to start the dreaded kickball game that my mother organizes every year.
The one my brother's team always wins.
You see, I'm not very coordinated with my feet.
But with my hands Hey, watch this.
See? I hold the cup-stacking world record.
But does my mother care? No! You see, Perry the Platypus, throughout my childhood, my mother's love was always inexplicably linked to kickball.
You know, I thinkâ I think this is best expressed through song.
(Song: "Couldn't Kick My Way Into Her Heart") My mother's love was always inexplicably linked to kickball And my brother was an expert from the start But I lacked finesse So when put to the test I couldn't kick my way right into her heart Ladies and gentlemen, Love Händel! Oh, yeah! He tried playing rugby And soccer and football He tried kick the can and even martial arts But even with this dedication I still got no coordination! He couldn't kick his way right into her heart Oh, yeah! Goodnight, Gimmelshtump! How do you like that, Perry the Platypus? Love Händel, in my flashback! I know people.
This year, it's going to be different! W-W-Wait right here, I'll show you! Behold! The Kickinator 5000! Could you help me practice, please, please? Just take the ball and go over there and then just roll it to me.
Go ahead.
Any time.
I'm ready.
Well, youâ You threw it too early! Couldn't you tell I wasn't ready? Come on, try again.
O-Okay, do it right this time.
It's, uh, you know, it's a process.
What'cha doin'? Building a fort.
What are you doing? Showin' two chumps how to build a fort! Oh, no, he di'n't! Phineas, how can I help? Stainless steel 18-8 woodscrews, eh? The choice of amateurs! Why? What kind of screws are your brothers using? That's classified.
Isabella! Get a tarp over that thing ASAP! What color? Hey, where's Harry? Yo! Over here! Well, he is a contractor.
They don't do much.
Okay, slowly.
Not so fast! I can hardly keep up with it! Heads up, Heinz! Ugh! Hey, you know what? Justâ Just-Just bring the ball in front of the Kickinator.
Justâ Put it right thâ Wait, what are you doing? I didn't say a mile away! Right here! Bring it closer.
Okay.
No, noâ Oh.
That's a little bit better.
Step back and get ready to witness some real kicking.
I did it! I did it! I still did it! Alright, guys, it's do or die time.
This is the chance to really show your stuff, 'cause there's no way you're gonna lose to a couple of lame-os and their loser sister! I can hear you! I know! I said it loud! Mom! Gotta get rid of her! Oh, Mom! You're home, you're home! But, uh I-I think you should go back to the grocery store.
Why? Because Iâ I bet you forgot, uh That stuff! Oh, I guess I did.
All right, throw these in the kitchen and I'll be right back.
Boy, that was close.
Oh! I'm next! All right, easy out! Everybody move in! Hey, you're not even a Doofenshmirtz anymore! I kept the name! You can do it, Dad! He can't really do it.
Welcome, citizens of Danville! I give you the architectural stylings of Thaddeus and Thor! Whoa! That's nice.
Pfft.
What you architectural illiterates see here is a split-level edifice, complete with slide and licorice dispenser.
Huh? What? People, people, I'm not gonna soft pedal this.
That was adequate, but I think we're ready to witness the greatest architectural feat this town has ever seen! I give you Phineas and Ferb! You call that an architectural feat?! What?! Have you lost your minds?! You've completely humiliated me in front of everyone! But, Candace, thisâ Phineas, all summer long, you build the most amazing things.
And the one time I reach out to you as a sister, the one time I count on you, you give me this? But, Candaceâ No! Just leave me alone! Excuse me! Candace, wait! Whoa! Whoa-ho! Ladies and gentlemen, topping our fort is our homage to old-school construction.
And now for the rest of it.
Ferb? Tada! Our modern take on a well-known classic! I I did it.
I did it! Who's the loser now, huh? L-O-S-E-R! Who's the loser? You are! Let's boogie! That's right! Let's boogie! You're out.
Oh, Roger! My son! You make me so proud, again! But Ow! Well, here's the foyer.
All imported marble, by the way.
Here's the bowling alley.
Pool.
Telescope.
Terracotta army room.
JET ENGINE WIND TUNNEL! And scoring stage with 40-piece orchestra.
We don't, however, have a licorice dispenser.
That was a nice touch.
Yeah, that rocks! Nice going.
You broke their brains.
Come on, boys.
I'm taking you home.
Hey, I got the stuff.
Thanks, Mom.
At least you came through.
Well, Candace, as much as I hate to say this, your brothers are the best.
A ten-story addition with a swimming pool! Ugh! Why didn't you think of that?! Could it be true? Candace, have you seen this? I'm looking at it! Wait, where are you? In the kitchen! When I said, "throw these in the kitchen," I didn't mean it literally! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on, Mom! Candace! I'm not going anywhere until you take care of this mess! Well, fun's fun, but there are those pesky zoning laws.
Ooh.
I just felt a disturbance in the cup-stacking universe.
I think my record's been broken.
That wasn't so hard, now, was it? Mom, let's go, let's go, let's go! Mom, I've been trying to tell you all summer! They make these amazing things! Look! Candace, you're right! It is amazing! Hey, Mom.
We've built a fort.
It's wonderful! Isn't it great? The boys are starting to take an interest in building things.
Who wants stuff? We do!