Phineas and Ferb s02e59 Episode Script

The Secret of Success (15 min)

by ashirogi27 Oh, so bored.
Bored.
Bored.
Bored.
Snoresville Central, Candace speaking.
Oh, good, you're bored.
You know how my mom wants me to take things more seriously and focus on what's important, like my grades, my future, and– Like, becoming a doctor, a lawyer, or a doctor? Yeah? Well, she's forcing me to go to this leadership seminar today.
And I'll implode with boredom if I go by myself.
Are you out of your mind? There might be cute boys there.
Oh, all right.
But, you owe me big time! This year's all-terrain vehicle.
It goes on the road and in the mud.
In the mud and on the road! It's the all new all-terrain vehicle for all terrain zah.
Road and mud aren't exactly all terrains.
Somebody ought to build a vehicle that actually goes over all terrains.
Two, three, four Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! Five, six, seven Hey, where's Perry? Ah, Agent P.
Oop! Uh, hold on a sec.
There we go! Doofenshmirtz has been spotted buying television cameras, boom mics, and makeup.
Find out what he's up to.
Perry! Ladies? Baljeet, this seminar is for high school kids.
What are you doing here? Well, I usually attend college level conferences, but I thought I would dumb it down for the weekend.
Uh, are we supposed to take notes? Leaders of the Future, let's give it up for Tedd Shaw! Greetings, Leaders of the Future! I am Tedd Shaw.
I may be young, but you're never too young to be a success! So, get ready to learn my easy steps which should be your goals.
Woo-hoo! Oh, brother.
So, fellas, what's on the menu for today? An all-terrain vehicle.
With an electromagnetic motor, super rubber tank treads, high speed ceramic body, hydraulics and old remote control.
Hey, let's take this baby for a spin, and see what she'll do! (Song: All Terrain Vehicle) Up, down, all around, over rocks and underground In the sky, in the trees Plowing through a bunch of cheese Flying through the air, we can buzz a county fair Tell your momma that we're leaving Yeah, we can go anywhere Big top, china shop Off the cliff and take a drop Under sea, look at me, I'm talking to a manatee It's not a submarine It's not a plane, it's not a train Come on, let's take a ride, we're talking all terrain Whooo-ooo-ooo We're talking all terrain, yeah Whooo-ooo-ooo We're talking all terrain That's right Cross the tundra, through a cave, surfing on a tidal wave Over pillows, over nails Off the road, and off the rails A tight rope, a trampoline, having tea with the queen I think you're gonna like my all terrain machine Whooo-ooo-ooo We're talking all terrain Whooo-ooo-ooo We're talking all terrain, yeah And just so that we're clear We can ride on the road, and in the mud! We're talking all terrain! Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Ah, Perry the Platypus, so good of you to volunteer for my cause! Since the cost of evil went up, my alimony checks barely cover my overhead.
So, I've come up with a brilliant idea.
The Telethon of Evil! With lights and a camera and, uh Ooh, and a tote board, look.
People will call in and send me money.
And you can help man the phones.
I had trouble finding a station that will put it on, so I invented this! The Preempt-inator.
With this machine, I can preempt all the other TV programs! As soon as I can figure out if I plug in the red wire or the green wire.
So, let's review.
We've learned the principal of B.
L.
A.
R.
F.
Be Living, Always Really Focused! Pfft.
That makes me wanna B.
L.
A.
R.
F.
I can see it is already working.
Now, we go down to another step towards the secret of success.
N.
A.
R.
G.
Never Abandon Realizing your Goal.
Isn't that, N.
A.
R.
YG? Please hold all questions 'til the end, thank you.
Okay.
Now, can you see how N.
A.
R.
G.
-ing could help you become president of the United States? Yes! Yes, I can! And you! Do you have a goal you never wanna stop realizing? Well, yeah.
I-I've wanted to bust my brothers all summer.
And have you used these steps? Believe me, I've B.
L.
A.
R.
F.
-ed and N.
A.
R.
G.
-ed plenty.
I've got nowhere.
Well, I'm gonna tell you the final step to breaking your old, ineffectual patterns right after the break! So, don't you go anywhere! Stacy, did you hear that? Wake up! I-It's not my ferret! This could really be the answer to me busting the boys.
That weird guy is gonna tell us the final step after the break! Can it be that I'll finally achieve my summer goal? Wait.
Is that? It is.
It's Phineas and Ferb! Woo-hoo! Hey, Candace, do you wanna give it a try? Oh, no.
I'm going to do it right this time.
Even though every fiber of my being is screaming to tell you to stay here and find out the information, then run frantically out to that ATV and drive my brothers to Mom who'll bust them, I will resist! Yes! I am going to stay right here, and break my old pattern! Good choice, Candace.
I can tell you have prac– Stacy, take notes for me! Hey, Candace.
What are you doing here? Let me in! Okay, then! Buckle up! Uh, excuse me, do you know if there happens to be any seats left? There just happens to be an empty seat next to me! Okay, I've learned some skills that– Phineas, you're in the drivers seat.
Why are you operating with a remote control? Candace, we're too young to drive.
Duh! Well, no matter.
Because we're driving this thing home.
I'm calling Mom to make sure she's there to see this.
You're going too slow! Give me that thing! So, how does this thing work? I'm Lindana– Maybe give me the remote.
I got it, Phineas! I hope you're ready for the big show, Perry the Platypus! Because Evil Incorporated is on the air! Down as 2 and 2, here's the pitch– We preempt your normal programming with the first annual Telethon of Evil! And now live, because it's evil spelled backwards, your host, Heinz Doofenshmirtz! (Song: Give Me Your Money Today) I want your money I'm strapped for cash I need your money Too lazy to get a job Give me your money I'm not being funny Give me your money today! This is a brilliant work of satire.
It's my new favorite show.
Hey, I think I'm getting the hang of this.
All I need to do is B.
L.
A.
R.
F.
Be Living, Always Really Focused.
I focused, and it worked.
And that's how socks sometimes get lost in the dryer.
And cut tape.
I'm B.
L.
A.
R.
F.
-ing! I'm B.
L.
A.
R.
F.
-ing! What was that? I don't know, but it's more interesting than socks.
To the news van! And we're back.
The Inator Corporation was generous enough to send us a giant check for twenty-three dollars.
Thank you, Sid and the guys.
Uh, you do an important job.
That brings our tally up to twenty-three dollars! Uh, let's go to the phones again.
Okay, if no one calls in the next few seconds, the platypus gets it! We preempt this current preemption to bring you another preemption.
This is Bridgette Oshinomi in the news breaker van.
We're following an out of control all-terrain vehicle that is barreling down Broad Street.
This is what preempted me! Ugh! The newspeople, they're behind this, and I– I won't stand for it! I must destroy them! Nothing cuts into my television face time! Oh, ha, ha! Very funny! Everyone's a comedian.
The vehicle looks to be filled with children.
Good thing I installed a TV screen, so I can follow the live coverage.
Here's for stealing my ratings! Whoa! Oh, I keep missing! B.
L.
A.
R.
F.
! B.
L.
A.
R.
F.
! B.
L.
A.
R.
F.
! What is going on up there? Are you getting this, Don? Uh, we're right above you.
Bridgette, I'm seeing something kinda strange up here.
Oh, hey, it's me.
It's me.
I'm back.
Perry the Platypus, look.
The– Oh.
Oh, it's the chopper cam.
Hello? I'm back.
H-Hi, Mom.
Hi.
Oh, going for the more dramatic wide angle shot– And the final tally is unbearable pain.
And, probably a herniated disc.
And, cut tape.
Perry! You stay right here, I'm gonna go get Mom.
Okay! Mom?! Mom, Mom, you've gotta come outside! I just drove up in this crazy souped up car that the boys invent– Wait, wait, wait.
You were driving? Without adult supervision? Well, no, I was operating a remote.
Oh, so it was a toy car.
No, no! No, it's a full-sized, and it's– You were driving a full-sized car?! Oh, that's it, young lady! You're grounded! But, but, but, the boys– Candace, go to your room! We will talk about this, later.
Ugh! I thought I did it right this time! Only I'd stay 'til the end of that seminar! Wait! Stacy's been there all day.
Stacy! Candace, what happened to you? The lecture's over.
The gift bags were totally cruddy, by the way.
It's just a bag, nothing in it.
Stacy, you've gotta tell me the last step to achieving successes.
The boys' ATV is still here, I still have a chance.
Hmm, the last step I forget.
Hey, Chad.
Do you remember what the last step to achieving your goal thingy is? Yes.
It's F.
R.
E.
E.
P.
O.
Candace, it's F.
R.
E.
E.
P.
O.
See ya! Stacy! Hello? But, what does that mean? What does it stand for? You know, technically we didn't try all terrain.
Uh, F.
R.
E.
E.
P.
O Uh, Frequent Rampages Encourages Enormous Perpendicular Octagons.
Uh, Free Raccoons Enter Existential Plastic Origami.
Oh See ya in a bit, Candace! We're going to the moon! We're talking all terrain Aw, F.
R.
E.
E.
P.
O.

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