Phineas and Ferb s03e06 Episode Script
The Belly of the Beast (15 min)
by ashirogi27 Oh, rapture! This is my favorite part of the Danville Harbor Day's festival! The annual shark reenactment.
Let's checketh it out.
"Checketh it out?" Really? I stand by my Old English.
Oh, look, they're doing the song! (Song: Shark of Danville Harbor) Won't you gather round and hear a tale of the shark of Danville harbor Who terrorized our people Can you just imagine this? If it's sharks you want to know about You're bound to end up smarter 'Cause though technically a vertebrate They're cartilaginous The monster came upon us And its eyes were black as coal His jaws so big that we could see his molars and incisors He came at us and of our bladders We did lose control Then he ate a politician and a curriculum adviser He cornered us in Miller's Cove We thought that we were dead We've never seen his like, remember This was way before TV We lost control again, there were a long line for the head Open up! But the woman folk banged pots and pans and drove him out to sea Yes, the woman folk banged pots and pans and drove him out to sea! And that is why we celebrate Harbor Day every year with a reenactment.
Here cometh the shark.
Look at me, I'm a shark! I can poop in the ocean! But you are not going to, right? Keep pushing, dweeb.
Wow.
They really should put more effort into the shark.
Ferb, I knoweth what we're going to doeth today! Hey, whereth is Perry? Happy Harbor Day, Agent P! In honor of the occasion, we've flooded your headquarters.
Hope you like it.
Actually, our plumbing just backed up.
Just trying to put a happy face on it, Carl.
Doofenshmirtz has been spotted on a boat.
Go check it out.
Brother, these Harbor Day's festivals are so lame.
I can't wait to see this year's lame-o replica of the great white shark of Danville Harbor! It's always so feeble.
Yeah.
What's that? Okay.
Let 'er drop! Right Okay, now how did that only hit me? Look at that! Let's go, Ferb! We're gonna give this Harbor Day's reenactment the best shark ever! Ugh! Come on, Stacy.
We've got a shark to bust! So I says, "Keep your hands off my poop deck, then we'll keelhaul the scurvy!" Yo ho, Captain Kidd, we need your ship.
My brothers are in that shark! 'Tis the same beast that swallowed my leg Yeah, yeah, that's fascinating.
Tell me after we shove off! Ah, that shark's a mean one, alright.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Took me leg just to pick his teeth on.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
He drives alone in the carpool lane.
Sure.
Uh-huh.
He threw poor Timmy down the well.
Huh.
Huh? And he won't give up his seat for little old ladies on the bus! Oh, yeah.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, I know, he sounds like a bad guy.
Oh, you think? Okay, Ferb.
Let's see what this baby can do! Looks like everything's shark-shape! Make a left.
Let's get our cartilaginous vertebrate on! Doofenshmirtz on a crab boat! Perry the Platypus! So what am I doing out here? Well, I'll tell you.
One day, while I was perusing my collection of 19th-century almanacs, I learned that the leading cause of tooth decay is saltwater taffy! And that's why I invented the Saltwater Taffy-inator! Y-You can't see it from here, I built it on the bottom of the ocean where I have an unlimited supply of salt water for free.
I-I'm going to make the sweetest, gooiest, stickiest saltwater taffy, in the world! In the world.
Enough to give cavities to every kid in the Tri-State Area! Now, where's my wetsuit? Where are they? All I need is a metal shark and a mom to bust her by! That one's got some wind in her sails.
You have no idea.
So, did a shark really eat your leg? Arr, probably.
But he definitely chewed on my arm.
Uh, that's just a birthmark.
I'm tired of this conversation.
Thar she blows! I see you, Mister Beast! Can't this tug go any faster? There be only one captain on this ship.
Looks like the reenactment has started! Let's give 'em a run for their money, Ferb! They're still on our tail! He be toying with us.
Aye! Cannonball, Ferb.
Well, at least we'll all get wet.
Really? Really?! Arr! It's the octopus that ate me pancreas! Thank you.
Get back here, beast! Whoa! Wow, six skips! Nice going.
Here we go.
Ow! Oh, okay, that hurt.
All right, better just, uh Okay, I'm good.
Now, I will activate my Saltwater Taffy-inator.
At last! Now, nothing can prevent me from promoting tooth decay! Aw, I fogged up my mask again! Perry the Platypus? How did you get out? Ha! I grabbed you while you were flashing back to your escape! Yikes! I've caught many a fish with this lure.
Take the pole and I'll man the wheel! Whoa! Come on, Stacy, pull! She bought me coat and the mermaid brought my boots Tug on this, beast.
Whoa! Suppertime! Bullseye! Rubber ducks? Are you serious? Does a penguin fly? No.
Ugh, now I'm tired of this conversation too! The ducks are back! I'll harpoon the beast! That's a plunger.
I didn't buy this ship for its plumbing! Yah! Swim for your life! Come to Papa, beast.
Well, I-I ain't really a papa, I-I never had kids of my own, see, andâ If I did they probably wouldn't be sharks.
Butâ You know what I mean! Oh-hoh! Oh! Candace, he reaches! We're gonna need a bigger captain.
Cheese and sausage? So, this is what the inside of a shark looks like? I always thought it would be more stomach-y.
I think maybe it's time we just call it quits.
Stacy, I'm tired of this conversation! I still have the upper hand! Well, actually you may at this particular moâ Chew first, Perry the Platâ Ah! Hoist the mainsail! Swab the poop deck! Watch that jib, sailor.
Now, take the helm! I've got a date with destiny, and it ain't gonna end with a kiss! You've vexed me for too long.
Too long! Full speed ahead, Stacy, get me in close! Aye aye, Candace! Captain! Captain! Yikes, what is it about that hat? From Danville Harbor I stab at thee, for busting's sake I spit my last spit at thee! Uh! Head for shore, Stacy! We've got him! Say, whoever's on that boat has the story wrong.
They're supposed to drive us out to sea, not drag us into shore! Looks like we're gonna need a bigger shark.
Now I wish I'd made that OFF button more accessible from the taffy itself.
I wonder how this is affecting the surface water.
Is that the best you've got? I found more harpoons! And I'm gonna pretend these have never been used! Load the cannon! Stand clear! Yep.
I know you be in there! I'm a-get this outta here, boys.
We need more power, Ferb! Hard to starboard, Stacy! Okay, that's port, but whatever! Arr! Arr! You know, it's such a shame the reenactment can't be this exciting.
Free at last! Thanks for me new leg, boys! Mom! Mom! Look, Mom! Look, Mom! Look at the shark! Mom! What? Oh, that? They get cheesier every year.
Roar! You cannot attack me, I am the tail! Shark wedgie! That's not what I meant! It never is, honey.
Who wants blood pudding? Me! You know, this much I could've predicted, but I'm having a hard time explaining the giant metal shark.
Well, at least we'll go together, Perry the Platypus.
Oh, sure, I reach out to you and then you use the emergency face plate ejector thing.
Curse you, Perry the Pla .
.
typus!
Let's checketh it out.
"Checketh it out?" Really? I stand by my Old English.
Oh, look, they're doing the song! (Song: Shark of Danville Harbor) Won't you gather round and hear a tale of the shark of Danville harbor Who terrorized our people Can you just imagine this? If it's sharks you want to know about You're bound to end up smarter 'Cause though technically a vertebrate They're cartilaginous The monster came upon us And its eyes were black as coal His jaws so big that we could see his molars and incisors He came at us and of our bladders We did lose control Then he ate a politician and a curriculum adviser He cornered us in Miller's Cove We thought that we were dead We've never seen his like, remember This was way before TV We lost control again, there were a long line for the head Open up! But the woman folk banged pots and pans and drove him out to sea Yes, the woman folk banged pots and pans and drove him out to sea! And that is why we celebrate Harbor Day every year with a reenactment.
Here cometh the shark.
Look at me, I'm a shark! I can poop in the ocean! But you are not going to, right? Keep pushing, dweeb.
Wow.
They really should put more effort into the shark.
Ferb, I knoweth what we're going to doeth today! Hey, whereth is Perry? Happy Harbor Day, Agent P! In honor of the occasion, we've flooded your headquarters.
Hope you like it.
Actually, our plumbing just backed up.
Just trying to put a happy face on it, Carl.
Doofenshmirtz has been spotted on a boat.
Go check it out.
Brother, these Harbor Day's festivals are so lame.
I can't wait to see this year's lame-o replica of the great white shark of Danville Harbor! It's always so feeble.
Yeah.
What's that? Okay.
Let 'er drop! Right Okay, now how did that only hit me? Look at that! Let's go, Ferb! We're gonna give this Harbor Day's reenactment the best shark ever! Ugh! Come on, Stacy.
We've got a shark to bust! So I says, "Keep your hands off my poop deck, then we'll keelhaul the scurvy!" Yo ho, Captain Kidd, we need your ship.
My brothers are in that shark! 'Tis the same beast that swallowed my leg Yeah, yeah, that's fascinating.
Tell me after we shove off! Ah, that shark's a mean one, alright.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Took me leg just to pick his teeth on.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
He drives alone in the carpool lane.
Sure.
Uh-huh.
He threw poor Timmy down the well.
Huh.
Huh? And he won't give up his seat for little old ladies on the bus! Oh, yeah.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, I know, he sounds like a bad guy.
Oh, you think? Okay, Ferb.
Let's see what this baby can do! Looks like everything's shark-shape! Make a left.
Let's get our cartilaginous vertebrate on! Doofenshmirtz on a crab boat! Perry the Platypus! So what am I doing out here? Well, I'll tell you.
One day, while I was perusing my collection of 19th-century almanacs, I learned that the leading cause of tooth decay is saltwater taffy! And that's why I invented the Saltwater Taffy-inator! Y-You can't see it from here, I built it on the bottom of the ocean where I have an unlimited supply of salt water for free.
I-I'm going to make the sweetest, gooiest, stickiest saltwater taffy, in the world! In the world.
Enough to give cavities to every kid in the Tri-State Area! Now, where's my wetsuit? Where are they? All I need is a metal shark and a mom to bust her by! That one's got some wind in her sails.
You have no idea.
So, did a shark really eat your leg? Arr, probably.
But he definitely chewed on my arm.
Uh, that's just a birthmark.
I'm tired of this conversation.
Thar she blows! I see you, Mister Beast! Can't this tug go any faster? There be only one captain on this ship.
Looks like the reenactment has started! Let's give 'em a run for their money, Ferb! They're still on our tail! He be toying with us.
Aye! Cannonball, Ferb.
Well, at least we'll all get wet.
Really? Really?! Arr! It's the octopus that ate me pancreas! Thank you.
Get back here, beast! Whoa! Wow, six skips! Nice going.
Here we go.
Ow! Oh, okay, that hurt.
All right, better just, uh Okay, I'm good.
Now, I will activate my Saltwater Taffy-inator.
At last! Now, nothing can prevent me from promoting tooth decay! Aw, I fogged up my mask again! Perry the Platypus? How did you get out? Ha! I grabbed you while you were flashing back to your escape! Yikes! I've caught many a fish with this lure.
Take the pole and I'll man the wheel! Whoa! Come on, Stacy, pull! She bought me coat and the mermaid brought my boots Tug on this, beast.
Whoa! Suppertime! Bullseye! Rubber ducks? Are you serious? Does a penguin fly? No.
Ugh, now I'm tired of this conversation too! The ducks are back! I'll harpoon the beast! That's a plunger.
I didn't buy this ship for its plumbing! Yah! Swim for your life! Come to Papa, beast.
Well, I-I ain't really a papa, I-I never had kids of my own, see, andâ If I did they probably wouldn't be sharks.
Butâ You know what I mean! Oh-hoh! Oh! Candace, he reaches! We're gonna need a bigger captain.
Cheese and sausage? So, this is what the inside of a shark looks like? I always thought it would be more stomach-y.
I think maybe it's time we just call it quits.
Stacy, I'm tired of this conversation! I still have the upper hand! Well, actually you may at this particular moâ Chew first, Perry the Platâ Ah! Hoist the mainsail! Swab the poop deck! Watch that jib, sailor.
Now, take the helm! I've got a date with destiny, and it ain't gonna end with a kiss! You've vexed me for too long.
Too long! Full speed ahead, Stacy, get me in close! Aye aye, Candace! Captain! Captain! Yikes, what is it about that hat? From Danville Harbor I stab at thee, for busting's sake I spit my last spit at thee! Uh! Head for shore, Stacy! We've got him! Say, whoever's on that boat has the story wrong.
They're supposed to drive us out to sea, not drag us into shore! Looks like we're gonna need a bigger shark.
Now I wish I'd made that OFF button more accessible from the taffy itself.
I wonder how this is affecting the surface water.
Is that the best you've got? I found more harpoons! And I'm gonna pretend these have never been used! Load the cannon! Stand clear! Yep.
I know you be in there! I'm a-get this outta here, boys.
We need more power, Ferb! Hard to starboard, Stacy! Okay, that's port, but whatever! Arr! Arr! You know, it's such a shame the reenactment can't be this exciting.
Free at last! Thanks for me new leg, boys! Mom! Mom! Look, Mom! Look, Mom! Look at the shark! Mom! What? Oh, that? They get cheesier every year.
Roar! You cannot attack me, I am the tail! Shark wedgie! That's not what I meant! It never is, honey.
Who wants blood pudding? Me! You know, this much I could've predicted, but I'm having a hard time explaining the giant metal shark.
Well, at least we'll go together, Perry the Platypus.
Oh, sure, I reach out to you and then you use the emergency face plate ejector thing.
Curse you, Perry the Pla .
.
typus!