Phineas and Ferb s03e11 Episode Script

Magic Carpet Ride (15 min)

by ashirogi27 (Song: Pinhead Pierre Theme) Pinhead Pierre Boys! Has the smallest head of which I'm aware Boys, come quick! What is it, Dad? It's the new, digitally remastered third series of Pinhead Pierre! It's about the size and shape of a pear Only the best series ever and my favorite show ever.
Everywhere the children stare Life's cruel and unfair That's all.
You had us at "come quick".
To Pinhead Pierre! Hi, kids! Kids, sometimes when your head is this small, you just wanna get away for a bit.
Kids, sometimes when your head is this small, you just wanna get away for a bit.
You know, escape from all the laughing and pointing.
Whenever I feel like that, you know what I do? Magic carpet ride! Roll out your official Pinhead Pierre rugs, kids! Right-o! It's been at my bedside all these years! Hop on, boys! We're about to take off on the ride of a lifetime! What's the magic word? Streptococcus! Whoa! Whoaa! We're flying! Here we go, boys! And look out below! It's Paris.
There's the Arc de Triomphe and there's the Eiffel Tower! There's the Arc de Triomphe and there's the Eiffel Tower! And there's the Colosseum? What's that doing here? Lawrence, can you look at these tile samples with me? Lawrence, can you look at these tile samples with me? I want to re-do the living room.
Oh, well, I suppose it wasn't quite as thrilling as I remembered.
Carry on, boys.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! Hey, where's Perry? Hey, where's Perry? Wrong pants! Eh? Oh.
Sorry, Agent P, uh Guess I was, uh, dozing there.
Guess I was, uh, dozing there.
Anyway, it appears Dr.
Doofenshmirtz has completely cleared the Tri-State Area out of all grape juice, red wine, chocolate, marinara sauce, India ink, and, worst of all grape juice, red wine, chocolate, marinara sauce, India ink, and, worst of all grape juice, red wine, chocolate, marinara sauce, India ink, and, worst of all grape juice, red wine, chocolate, marinara sauce, India ink, and, worst of all grape juice, red wine, chocolate, marinara sauce, India ink, and, worst of all grape juice, red wine, chocolate, marinara sauce, India ink, and, worst of all grape juice, red wine, chocolate, marinara sauce, India ink, and, worst of all coffee! So, uh Go and, uh You know, do the thing, that thing You know, do the thing, that thing You know, do the thing, that thing Sorry.
I'm just no good until I have that first mug o' Joe.
I try and I try and I try and I try, but no matter what I do, things never work out like I planned! I try and I try and I try and I try, but no matter what I do, things never work out like I planned! Maybe if I knew how things were gonna turn out, I could plan for that and then do the right stuff! I know, I know.
That doesn't make any sense, does it? You said it, sister.
Have a cookie.
I guess it's too much to expect some magic answer to all my problems.
Let's see.
"Somebody close to you will take a trip.
" Boy, I hope they take me with them– I'm okay! That was great.
What a dumb coincidence.
Let's try another.
"You'll know the truth when it hits you.
" Okay, boring.
Okay, boring.
Oh, no, girl.
You are not– "Let the wisest among you light the way.
" There! A light bulb! And an old guy! Does anybody know where I live? But,Candace, you just– No, Stacy.
It's real.
These cookies know what's going to happen next! I can use them to bust my brothers! Thanks for the cookies! Candace! Hey! Those cost a tenth of a cent a piece! So, enjoy them in good health, I guess.
So, enjoy them in good health, I guess.
Well, another interior design crisis averted.
Have a seat, Dad.
What, some new video game then? You'll see.
Voice ignition system, active.
Voice ignition system, active.
Micro-filament omni-directional jet grid, active.
Micro-filament omni-directional jet grid, active.
Anti-gravity quantum-state lift discs, active.
Anti-gravity quantum-state lift discs, active.
We have liftoff in four Three Two One Has the entire second floor always opened up like this? We don't use it very often, but yeah.
We don't use it very often, but yeah.
Well, nostalgia's got nothing on this! Well, nostalgia's got nothing on this! Ah, Perry the Platypus.
Just in time.
Our flight is about to leave.
Behold, the Stain-inator! Behold, the Stain-inator! What's it for, you ask? I'll tell you on the way.
It began in Gimmelshtump when I was a callow youth yearning for a career in fine art.
I quickly discovered that although I loved painting, my muse was sometimes inaccessible.
I quickly discovered that although I loved painting, my muse was sometimes inaccessible.
I quickly discovered that although I loved painting, my muse was sometimes inaccessible.
Then one day, just as I was about to give up in frustration, inspiration struck.
Then one day, just as I was about to give up in frustration, inspiration struck.
I was up for three days straight gripped in glorious, artistic fever.
And finally, my masterpiece! And finally, my masterpiece! I rushed across the street to get my brother, Roger.
He was in the middle of his favorite meal.
A sloppy joe, greasy french fries with ketchup, grape juice, coffee, and chocolate pudding.
A sloppy joe, greasy french fries with ketchup, grape juice, coffee, and chocolate pudding.
A sloppy joe, greasy french fries with ketchup, grape juice, coffee, and chocolate pudding.
A sloppy joe, greasy french fries with ketchup, grape juice, coffee, and chocolate pudding.
But I insisted he come at once.
That day, I made a solemn vow that Roger would pay for what he'd done.
That day, I made a solemn vow that Roger would pay for what he'd done.
The next morning, I had the solemn vow notarized.
But today, I will finally get my revenge! You see, my brother, the honorable mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz, will be unveiling a new piece of art for the lobby of City Hall.
You see, my brother, the honorable mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz, will be unveiling a new piece of art for the lobby of City Hall.
You see, my brother, the honorable mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz, will be unveiling a new piece of art for the lobby of City Hall.
Hence, the Stain-inator, hence, revenge, hence, uh No more hencing.
That's about it.
I say, boys, you can barely feel the road! It corners like a dream! Pinhead Pierre, eat your heart out! Pinhead Pierre, eat your heart out! What do you say we take the gang for a spin? Wow! (Song: Aerial Area Rug) You can't see much of the skyline It looks like more of a grid It's a viable variation of view But it's something I'm sure we'll be glad that we did It's not like the world that we see from the ground I guess the main difference is we're looking down So climb on our aerial area rug It's certain to keep us aloft Its aerodynamics are highly advanced And its weave is so tight and so soft Though this vista's diverse Is it better or worse? If you'll ask, I'll just give you a shrug But you can vary your view of the area From our aerial area rug It's a brand new perspective Literally We can see the tops of buildings Come along with me You can vary your view of the area From our aerial area rug You can vary your view of the area From our aerial area rug! Ah, thank you, boys.
This was lovely.
And does anyone else want to be "king of the world"? Ah, keep it, bro.
It suits you.
Okay, here we go.
"You choose the path that few others dare travel.
" Done and done.
Come on, Stace! Follow me! Really, Candace? What do you hope to accomplish by this? Everything! Don't you see? All the problems in my life can be solved through concrete knowledge of the future! Right.
As you create a whole new set of problems.
Oh, stop being so close-minded.
For instance, what's my biggest problem? You believe fortune cookies are real? I mean, besides that.
You're totally obsessed with busting your brothers! Exactly! And with infallible fortune cookie guidance, I can accomplish that easily.
Watch.
"If something seems fishy, maybe it's a fish!" "If something seems fishy, maybe it's a fish!" Genius.
Hey all, catch it now! Fresh fish! Fresh fish! Fresh fish! Fresh fish! What do you have to say now, Doubty McNonbelief? Why am I suddenly Irish? To the fish market! Excuse me, have you guys seen two little– Oof! Ew, gross! Gross, but foretold, Stacy.
Gross, but foretold, Stacy.
Preordained! What's next? What's next?! Better be something about soap.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure.
" To the dumpster! "Success starts at home.
" Finally! It's go time! To the backyard! It gets hard to watch.
Boy, it's just gorgeous out, huh? A perfect day for ruining a City Hall lobby art dedication.
You know, if you're into that kind of thing.
You know, if you're into that kind of thing.
Which I am! Either way, it's nice to get out of the lab for a change and, you know, try to destroy art in the fresh air.
Like a field trip! To the death! Thank you! I'm sure if I thought about it, I could come up with some emotionally-scarring back stories that are more outdoors-y– What does this look like to you? That.
Well, it's great to finally meet you in person! So, when can I see you again? So, when can I see you again? Wow, not only does this thing work, it has a sense of irony! Wow, not only does this thing work, it has a sense of irony! Ow! Thank you, friends, and welcome.
Thank you, friends, and welcome.
Right on time.
It fills me with great pride to contribute today to the cultural enrichment of the Tri-State Area.
I've always been a great lover of the arts.
Liar, liar, pantalones del fuego.
You again? There.
Auto-fire in 30 seconds.
Nothing can stop it now.
You see, the greatest painting I ever saw was made by my brother Heinz.
You see, the greatest painting I ever saw was made by my brother Heinz.
You'd better believe it! Art killer.
And I, in an extraordinary act of clumsiness, destroyed it, denying him the accolades he so greatly deserved.
And I, in an extraordinary act of clumsiness, destroyed it, denying him the accolades he so greatly deserved.
And I, in an extraordinary act of clumsiness, destroyed it, denying him the accolades he so greatly deserved.
And I, in an extraordinary act of clumsiness, destroyed it, denying him the accolades he so craved and deserved.
And here comes the payback! And that's why I've spent the last two decades restoring it to its former glory.
What? Huh, what? No, no! No, no! No, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no, no, no, no Nooo!!! Ladies and gentlemen, my brother's painting! Nooo!!! Well, that was 20 years well-spent.
Melanie, what's my next appointment? Go ahead, Perry the Platypus.
I don't care anymore.
Gotta get home, gotta get home Gotta get home, gotta get home There they are! Pinhead Pierre Has the smallest head of which I'm aware Fate is kind.
Behold this, you stupid– Did anyone else feel a drop? Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Hi, Candace.
That's a nice look for you.
You gotta see.
Carpet! Living room.
Now! Look.
A new living room carpet! Oh, that's much better than tile.
How lovely! Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu You surprised me, Lawrence.
I thought you were gonna sit in front of this TV all day.
I did! I did! Oh, you.
I think this calls for a celebration.
Who wants Chinese? Me! Me! I do! You okay, kiddo? I don't get it! These things have been right about everything.
I mean, look! "Don't believe everything you read.
" Words to live by.
We can see the tops of buildings Come along with me You can vary your view of the area From our aerial area rug You can vary your view of the area From our aerial area rug!
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