Phineas and Ferb s03e39 Episode Script
Quietest Day Ever (15 min)
It's coming! We're doomed! The prophecy has come true! We are about to pay for our over-consumption! You created me, Garbage-zilla! And now, puny humans, prepare to be trashed! Knock it off! Candace, I don't know what you kids are doing, but I'm taking an online knitting test in a few minutes, and I need it to be quiet around here.
You might not remember quiet.
I'm not sure you two ever met.
Anyway, I'm putting you on noise patrol.
You're in charge.
I'm in charge? Woo-hoo! Yeah! Use a muffler.
Oh, yeah.
Woo-ho! This time I want an air siren, and tap shoes.
Phineas, Ferb.
Mom put me on noise patrol while she's taking an online test.
She needs it to be ABSOLUTELY QUIET! She needs it to be ABSOLUTELY QUIET! Candace, I'm trying to concentrate! Now let's see "What's the first ingredient in knitting a garment?" Oh, I know that! It's love.
What do you mean, "wool"? You heard her, right? No noise.
I want you silent and invisible.
Got it? Silent and invisible? What am I? A ninja? That's it! Gang, I know what we're gonna do today! Speaking of silent and invisible, where's Perry? Agent P, we have a crisis.
The Agency was going through Dr.
Doofenshmirtz's trash this week when we found this.
Defaced magazine cover.
Shameful! There were hundreds of similarly defaced photos of good looking men, including this handsome devil gracing the cover of Covert Lifestyles.
My interest in this incident is purely professional, but put a stop to it! Perry! Why? Wh-h-h-hy? Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Hold on, Perry the Platypus, I'm just getting the mail.
Oh, goody! It's my order from the Power Tool and Skeleton Key Warehouse.
I was wondering when this was gonnaâ Ugh! Look at this! Every week, the mailman makes the same mistake and I end up getting my neighbor's HS Weekly.
Here, hold this, Perry the Platypus, I need to rant.
I hate all these good-looking models on the cover of Handsome and Symmetrical magazine, mocking me with their manly perfection.
Their perfect hair, their perfect skin, I hate it! And this is why I created the De-Handsome-inator! And this is why I created the De-Handsome-inator! Soon, all these good looking faces will be hideous! Ow! Wait, did you use the skeleton key or was it the power tools? Just for that, I'm not gonna tell you why the apple.
Ugh, you know, I don't have the energy for this.
It's still early, do you wanna go grab some lunch? Come on.
I skipped breakfast this morning.
You like eggs? Okay, gang.
Ferb and I made these ninja outfits using smart garment technology.
Once they're switched on, the outfits are designed to hide the wearer from anyone who's not wearing the suit.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! I smell noise! Is that what the black pajamas are for? You gonna have a noise party? Actually, it's the opposite.
We're ninjas.
Ninjas are renowned for their quiet and concealment.
We made an outfit for you, too.
You should put it on.
Take it from me.
Black is slimming.
No, thanks.
That's okay.
We'll leave it here for you in case you change your mind.
All right, ninjas! Let's turn on our outfits! Hey! Where'd everyone go? That's so weird.
Huh.
Oh, I'll find them.
That was cool! I didn't have to do anything! The outfit did all the work! Whoa, Phineas, which way are you facing? Good question.
Left.
Stupid, stealthy ninjas! Candace, keep it down! "What do you call a clever knitter?" I know! A knit wit! Is there anything better than knitting humor? I need to stop at the bank, I-I don't have any cash.
Ah It's an honor, sir! A real honor! I can't wait to tell my wife! Ooh, are you famous? You look likeâ Like a model, a-are you an actor? You go first.
I can wait! Please, I'm just getting some cash to buy medicine for my kids.
Yes, uh, hello.
I just need to make a withdrawal from my account, please.
Here, take this.
It's on us.
No, no.
J-Just enough for lunch.
Sparkling sider? Scrambled eggs? That's real lobster in there.
Preserve the moment! Can you believe the service in this place, Perry the Platypus? Here you go! All framed.
Hey, uh, thank youâ See, this isn't me.
This is just the superhumanly attractive male model that came with the frame.
I mean, really, look at this guy, right? That's funny, he's wearing a lab coat just like meâ Oh, this is horrible! I can't be handsome! It'sâ It's everything I despise! Don't you understand? Beautiful people, theyâ They just get everything they want in the world.
I mean, watch this.
Hey, lady, nice baby.
You want him? He likes you better.
No, I don't want your baby.
You see, Perry the Platypus, the unfair advantage good-looking people have? Hey If I ran for Mayor, would you vote for me? Over and over again.
No, elections are for ugly people.
I'm sure they'd just give him the mayorship.
You think? Sure, you've already got a sizeable mob, and I bet we could pick up a couple thousand more on the way.
Well, okay, then! On to City Hall! My busting sense is tingling! There's something Phineas and Ferb going on here.
Phineas? Ferb? You in here? Phineas? Ferb? Phineas! Phineas! I know you're here! And the whole Tri-State Area knows you're here, Candace! Again, could you please keep it down? I tried to tell you before.
A-ha! Uh Uh You'll never be able to see us, unless you wear a ninja outfit yourself.
Oh, I'll wear a ninja outfit, all right! Then, I'll bust the whole lot of you.
(Song: I'm Handsome) My jaw is rugged and my hair is wavy My eyes, they twinkle and shine I used to be mashed potatoes, now I'm the gravy Nobody else is quite this fine I'm the face I'm a real ace Nobody's visual appeal is stronger I'm the very definition of masculine grace Take a picture, it'll last you longer 'Cause I'm handsome! I'm so good lookin' I'm easy on the eyes Don't you know that I'm handsome? I got chiseled features Try not to look surprised When you see that I'm handsome! I'm a real Adonis I'm the best you ever saw I'm handsome I'm a tall drink of water Somebody better grab a straw 'Cause I'm handsome! My company wants to give you a life time supply of our distinctive hand mirrors.
Send them over.
Don't you know that I'm handsome? I'm gonna name all my children after you even though they're already in college.
Nice! Can't you see that I'm handsome? Get in line, ladies! 'Cause I'm handsome! I'm a total catch, really! I'm quite fetching! It's a word.
It is! It means that I'm handsome! Well, well, well, Heinz.
At the age of 47, you've finally grown into your looks! Yes.
Yes, I have.
In fact, it would be our pleasure to suspend democracy and make you our Supreme Leader.
Do you have any questions, yo-o-o-ou handsome devil? Hmm.
How is my hair? He's handsome and funny! This will be the perfect place to watch the coronation! I can't believe how fast they mass-produced these commemorative hot air balloons.
Hand mirror delivery! Phineas? Come out, come out, wherever you are! Okay, you guys are so busted! And I have the evidence right here on my body.
Woo-hoo! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! I knew she'd come back for the slimming.
Okay, I know you're super busy and all, but you have just got to see what Phineas and Ferb made.
I'm wearing it.
Candace, this test is time sensitive! Just one second! Oh, all right.
What? Where'd you go? I'm right here.
On the ceiling.
What? I'm right here, under the rug! Young lady Now, I'm on the shelf.
I don't know how you're throwing your voice and I understand that you want attention.
But I'm really, really busy.
It's the outfit! It won't let you see me.
But, it apparently has no qualms about letting me hear you.
Mom, here it is! Mom! All right, Candace.
What am I looking at? These outfits were fun! I've never moved so fast! Oh, that was quite a workout.
Hey, it's Candace's ninja outfit! It's hiding! She must've left it switched on.
And now, I finally pronounce you Oh, Perry the Platypus, I'm so glad you're here to see this.
What's that? My inator remote? You're wasting your time.
There's no way you'll get a clear line of fire from my place to here, what with all those commemorative hot air balloons in the way.
How do they mass-produce those so fast? Ew He suddenly looks so unqualified.
He suddenly looks so unqualified.
Please disperse, nothing handsome to see here.
Hey, let's go look at fashion magazines! Yeah, that sounds great.
and they fold down to almost nothing.
Phineas, do not go anywhere.
The ninja outfits, they're still there! Hurry! Wait till you see this.
by pressing the "on "button, the outfits put themselves away.
There! Bust them! Oh, hi, kids.
I wanna thank you for being so quiet all afternoon.
Unlike someone I know! But but but But but but But but but Hey, Mom, how'd your test go? Well, lucky for Candace, I just passed.
Anyone for pie? Me! Mush, Candace.
So sorry.
It looks like your small window of fleeting beauty is now gone.
I don't understand! H-How is it possible? Uh You did this, Perry the Platypus! Coming, bro? Do you ever notice in a certain light Buford looks handsome? Do you ever notice in a certain light Buford looks handsome? It's a blessing, and a curse.
You might not remember quiet.
I'm not sure you two ever met.
Anyway, I'm putting you on noise patrol.
You're in charge.
I'm in charge? Woo-hoo! Yeah! Use a muffler.
Oh, yeah.
Woo-ho! This time I want an air siren, and tap shoes.
Phineas, Ferb.
Mom put me on noise patrol while she's taking an online test.
She needs it to be ABSOLUTELY QUIET! She needs it to be ABSOLUTELY QUIET! Candace, I'm trying to concentrate! Now let's see "What's the first ingredient in knitting a garment?" Oh, I know that! It's love.
What do you mean, "wool"? You heard her, right? No noise.
I want you silent and invisible.
Got it? Silent and invisible? What am I? A ninja? That's it! Gang, I know what we're gonna do today! Speaking of silent and invisible, where's Perry? Agent P, we have a crisis.
The Agency was going through Dr.
Doofenshmirtz's trash this week when we found this.
Defaced magazine cover.
Shameful! There were hundreds of similarly defaced photos of good looking men, including this handsome devil gracing the cover of Covert Lifestyles.
My interest in this incident is purely professional, but put a stop to it! Perry! Why? Wh-h-h-hy? Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Hold on, Perry the Platypus, I'm just getting the mail.
Oh, goody! It's my order from the Power Tool and Skeleton Key Warehouse.
I was wondering when this was gonnaâ Ugh! Look at this! Every week, the mailman makes the same mistake and I end up getting my neighbor's HS Weekly.
Here, hold this, Perry the Platypus, I need to rant.
I hate all these good-looking models on the cover of Handsome and Symmetrical magazine, mocking me with their manly perfection.
Their perfect hair, their perfect skin, I hate it! And this is why I created the De-Handsome-inator! And this is why I created the De-Handsome-inator! Soon, all these good looking faces will be hideous! Ow! Wait, did you use the skeleton key or was it the power tools? Just for that, I'm not gonna tell you why the apple.
Ugh, you know, I don't have the energy for this.
It's still early, do you wanna go grab some lunch? Come on.
I skipped breakfast this morning.
You like eggs? Okay, gang.
Ferb and I made these ninja outfits using smart garment technology.
Once they're switched on, the outfits are designed to hide the wearer from anyone who's not wearing the suit.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! I smell noise! Is that what the black pajamas are for? You gonna have a noise party? Actually, it's the opposite.
We're ninjas.
Ninjas are renowned for their quiet and concealment.
We made an outfit for you, too.
You should put it on.
Take it from me.
Black is slimming.
No, thanks.
That's okay.
We'll leave it here for you in case you change your mind.
All right, ninjas! Let's turn on our outfits! Hey! Where'd everyone go? That's so weird.
Huh.
Oh, I'll find them.
That was cool! I didn't have to do anything! The outfit did all the work! Whoa, Phineas, which way are you facing? Good question.
Left.
Stupid, stealthy ninjas! Candace, keep it down! "What do you call a clever knitter?" I know! A knit wit! Is there anything better than knitting humor? I need to stop at the bank, I-I don't have any cash.
Ah It's an honor, sir! A real honor! I can't wait to tell my wife! Ooh, are you famous? You look likeâ Like a model, a-are you an actor? You go first.
I can wait! Please, I'm just getting some cash to buy medicine for my kids.
Yes, uh, hello.
I just need to make a withdrawal from my account, please.
Here, take this.
It's on us.
No, no.
J-Just enough for lunch.
Sparkling sider? Scrambled eggs? That's real lobster in there.
Preserve the moment! Can you believe the service in this place, Perry the Platypus? Here you go! All framed.
Hey, uh, thank youâ See, this isn't me.
This is just the superhumanly attractive male model that came with the frame.
I mean, really, look at this guy, right? That's funny, he's wearing a lab coat just like meâ Oh, this is horrible! I can't be handsome! It'sâ It's everything I despise! Don't you understand? Beautiful people, theyâ They just get everything they want in the world.
I mean, watch this.
Hey, lady, nice baby.
You want him? He likes you better.
No, I don't want your baby.
You see, Perry the Platypus, the unfair advantage good-looking people have? Hey If I ran for Mayor, would you vote for me? Over and over again.
No, elections are for ugly people.
I'm sure they'd just give him the mayorship.
You think? Sure, you've already got a sizeable mob, and I bet we could pick up a couple thousand more on the way.
Well, okay, then! On to City Hall! My busting sense is tingling! There's something Phineas and Ferb going on here.
Phineas? Ferb? You in here? Phineas? Ferb? Phineas! Phineas! I know you're here! And the whole Tri-State Area knows you're here, Candace! Again, could you please keep it down? I tried to tell you before.
A-ha! Uh Uh You'll never be able to see us, unless you wear a ninja outfit yourself.
Oh, I'll wear a ninja outfit, all right! Then, I'll bust the whole lot of you.
(Song: I'm Handsome) My jaw is rugged and my hair is wavy My eyes, they twinkle and shine I used to be mashed potatoes, now I'm the gravy Nobody else is quite this fine I'm the face I'm a real ace Nobody's visual appeal is stronger I'm the very definition of masculine grace Take a picture, it'll last you longer 'Cause I'm handsome! I'm so good lookin' I'm easy on the eyes Don't you know that I'm handsome? I got chiseled features Try not to look surprised When you see that I'm handsome! I'm a real Adonis I'm the best you ever saw I'm handsome I'm a tall drink of water Somebody better grab a straw 'Cause I'm handsome! My company wants to give you a life time supply of our distinctive hand mirrors.
Send them over.
Don't you know that I'm handsome? I'm gonna name all my children after you even though they're already in college.
Nice! Can't you see that I'm handsome? Get in line, ladies! 'Cause I'm handsome! I'm a total catch, really! I'm quite fetching! It's a word.
It is! It means that I'm handsome! Well, well, well, Heinz.
At the age of 47, you've finally grown into your looks! Yes.
Yes, I have.
In fact, it would be our pleasure to suspend democracy and make you our Supreme Leader.
Do you have any questions, yo-o-o-ou handsome devil? Hmm.
How is my hair? He's handsome and funny! This will be the perfect place to watch the coronation! I can't believe how fast they mass-produced these commemorative hot air balloons.
Hand mirror delivery! Phineas? Come out, come out, wherever you are! Okay, you guys are so busted! And I have the evidence right here on my body.
Woo-hoo! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! I knew she'd come back for the slimming.
Okay, I know you're super busy and all, but you have just got to see what Phineas and Ferb made.
I'm wearing it.
Candace, this test is time sensitive! Just one second! Oh, all right.
What? Where'd you go? I'm right here.
On the ceiling.
What? I'm right here, under the rug! Young lady Now, I'm on the shelf.
I don't know how you're throwing your voice and I understand that you want attention.
But I'm really, really busy.
It's the outfit! It won't let you see me.
But, it apparently has no qualms about letting me hear you.
Mom, here it is! Mom! All right, Candace.
What am I looking at? These outfits were fun! I've never moved so fast! Oh, that was quite a workout.
Hey, it's Candace's ninja outfit! It's hiding! She must've left it switched on.
And now, I finally pronounce you Oh, Perry the Platypus, I'm so glad you're here to see this.
What's that? My inator remote? You're wasting your time.
There's no way you'll get a clear line of fire from my place to here, what with all those commemorative hot air balloons in the way.
How do they mass-produce those so fast? Ew He suddenly looks so unqualified.
He suddenly looks so unqualified.
Please disperse, nothing handsome to see here.
Hey, let's go look at fashion magazines! Yeah, that sounds great.
and they fold down to almost nothing.
Phineas, do not go anywhere.
The ninja outfits, they're still there! Hurry! Wait till you see this.
by pressing the "on "button, the outfits put themselves away.
There! Bust them! Oh, hi, kids.
I wanna thank you for being so quiet all afternoon.
Unlike someone I know! But but but But but but But but but Hey, Mom, how'd your test go? Well, lucky for Candace, I just passed.
Anyone for pie? Me! Mush, Candace.
So sorry.
It looks like your small window of fleeting beauty is now gone.
I don't understand! H-How is it possible? Uh You did this, Perry the Platypus! Coming, bro? Do you ever notice in a certain light Buford looks handsome? Do you ever notice in a certain light Buford looks handsome? It's a blessing, and a curse.