Phineas and Ferb s04e02 Episode Script
Happy New Year! (15 min)
Have fun at the party! Thanks for having the boys over tonight, Vivian.
Oh, no problem, Linda.
I have all the neighborhood kids tonight.
C'mon, c'mon, I don't want to be late for my first grown-up party! Huh.
Okay, hun.
Bye, everyone! Happy New Year! Bye, guys! Goodbye! Happy New Year! We're gonna have so much fun! We've got noisemakers, balloons, confetti And of course, we'll all stay up till midnight and watch the New Year's Eve ball drop! Baljeet's already out! Wake up, will ya! Aw! You're drooling all over my arm! You know, saliva is 98% water and the other 2% is made up of very beneficial electrolytes.
It is gross, but it is science.
You're lucky the gross factor outweighs the science factor, or you'd have a one-way ticket to wedgie town! Well, it'll be fun to finally see the ball drop.
Oh, it's a wonderful tradition! And, of course, there's the other tradition of kissing someone special at midnight.
Well then, I know what we're gonna do tonight.
Really? Yeah! We're gonna make our own New Year's ball and drop it from outer space! Your mother is right, Phineas.
You have such an active imagination! Not active enough.
I'm going to make some hot chocolate.
You kids come in when you want to warm up.
Hey, where's your platypus? Morning, Agent P.
Sorry about the cold climate inside your lair, you see, the heating system is on the fritz and we had to call a guy in from Aruba.
But I can assure you that we are all in the same boat here.
You're not alone in this.
We are all sharing the pain, andâ Awkward.
Race ya to the wet ski! Um Uh, Doof's doing something in City Hall, and put a stop to whatever it is.
Hey, Carl! I get the blue one! Okay, Phineas! We're good to go! Great.
Bring her down! How's the soldering going up there? Ferb is almost done.
How are you doing, Buford? Why do I have to paint? Painting is for babies and beatniks! That's no ordinary paint.
It's a super-sealer that will protect us from the cold, dark vacuum of space! Beatnik talk! Hey, Phineas.
Mind if we see the inside? Not at all! Check it out! A multi-level New Year's ball with punch bowl sailing.
Ahoy! Balloon room, the bed of a thousand coats, an infinity slide, and through here, the grand ballroom! In other words, a ball within a ball! Whoa! Irving? How do I get out of here?! Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Happy New Year! Norm, I told you.
You don't celebrate 'til midnight, not all day.
What if midnight never comes? Then you've squandered a whole day celebrating.
Ever think of that, tough guy? Perry the Platypus? It's a bottle of sparkling cider trap, and you're the cork! Which makes you Perry the Cork-apus! You got a funny name.
Anyway, it's New Year's-themed! Happy New Year! Not yet, Norm.
And on to my plan.
I recently learned that in most of the world, there's a tradition where people decide to change something about their lives in the coming year.
And they call it "a New Year's resolution.
" I-I had no idea, you see, back in Drusselstein, change was frowned upon.
Any change! Uh, you couldn't change your channel on your TV, you couldn't change your underwear and forget about changing your hairstyle, you'dâ You'd end up in jail.
But here in the new world, we embrace change! Apparently.
And that's why I came up with the Resolution Changer-inator! Cleverly disguised as a bow tie! When I turn it on at the stroke of midnight, it will make everyone change their resolution from whatever it was, likeâ I don't know, "I-I'm gonna lose weight" or "gain a limb", or whatever.
to, "I'm going to make Heinz Doofenshmirtz my leader and obey his every command".
That will be their new resolution.
All right, Norm.
How do I look? Like a pharmacist in a bow tie! Eh, good enough.
Time to go.
You're squandering, Norm! Ready to get your party on, dear? Do one-legged ducks swim in circles? Wow.
First year with the adults! Yep, we're all grown-up now.
No more pigtails, dollies, or obsessing over boys.
From now on, we obsess over men.
And no more busting! Attagirl! Yep, I'm sticking to my resolution and turning over a new leaf.
Fifteen whole minutes and I haven't thought of Phineas and Ferb.
How they make those things.
You know, those big, like, dangerous things they make Candace Sorry! I'm back, I'm back.
Resolution kicking in.
Resolution kicking in.
Oh, look, here come the boys! You mean, men? Ladies.
That's us! We're ladies.
Carbonation is fun! Hello, Danville! Hey, you there! What's your New Year's resolution? To update my mustache.
That's what you think! I don't know.
It seemed achievable.
This is so great, being here as an adult.
Not like my brothers.
Who are kids.
Who are probably building something Candace Something big Candace Big and bustable Gotta go! Oh, no, you don't! This is gonna be a new year with a new Candace! Remember? Gotta bust.
G-G-G-Gotta bu-bu-bu-bust! Bust! It's okay.
It's just a temporary relapse.
Candace? Stacy told me about your New Year's resolution.
I I need a timeout.
I'll be right back! Relapse? Relapse.
That's what you think! Oh It never stops beingâ Perry! Perry the Platypus? You can't come in here, this is a black-tie affair.
Perry again! Actually, I guess it doesn't really specify pants anywhere, so I guess you're okay.
Oh, and another little tidbit about the ancient Egyptians is that both men and women wore makeup.
Just like the '80s.
Hold it together, girl.
You can do this.
Hey, I thought your New Year's resolution was to stop eating sandwiches in the bathroom.
But it's not midnight yet, so I can still enjoy this.
Not midnight yet? That's it! I've actually got an hour left to bust my brothers! I've gotta find out what they're doing! I'll get video.
Whoa! Oh! Ooh! Huh, that parkour training actually paid off.
All right.
Let's start this bash in a ball! Yay! Oh, no, I missed it! And how am I gonna show Mom? No worries! I'm live-blogging the whole event on my podcast! We're trending right now! Right now? Hey, all of you out there in Internet Land! Watch closely because I'm gonna bust Phineas and Ferb.
She never busts them.
And Internet Land is not a real place! What is this, the coat room? All right, Perry the Platypus, if you really want to fight, here I aâ Ooh, cashmere.
Nice.
Hey, Candace.
I got you a glass of sparkling cider.
Rain check! This is my last time to bust! Serious relapse.
Come on, Irving.
Yes! Everyone, can I have your attention, please? My brothers and their friends will be dropping from outer space in that giant New Year's ball.
Oh, my gosh! Oh, amazing! Ooh, that's fantastic! Ooh! No, that's not fantastic! It, uhâ Okay, well, I-I admit it's impressive, but it's still bustable! Mom! If those were my boys, they'd be so busted.
Please! Adopt me now! Ugh! Mom! Okay, it's almost midnight, let's go! You'll never get out of that straitjacket.
Why would anyone wear that to a New Year's Eve party? I guess maybe if you were a magician, maybe Only one minute 'til midnight! Time to launch my plan! Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Almost done! Mom! It's New Year's! This is no time for kissing! Happy New Year! Now watch this.
What is everyone's New Year's resolution? To follow you, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, our new leader! Hmm, so, how does it feel to be a loser, Perry the Platypus? I mean, that's a rhetorical question.
Of course, i-if anyone should know how it feels, it should be me, but All right, everyone! Follow me, we're taking over City Hall! Hello? What are you doing? Obey me! Hey, w-what about your resolution? Everyone knows that no one ever keeps their New Year's resolution.
That doesn't even make any sense! Why would you make resolutions if you're not ever gonna folâ Did you know about this? You did! You knew about this and you still punched and kicked and pinched me.
Ah, I guess you're right.
That'sâ That is what we do.
Aw, thank you, Perry the Platypus.
Happy New Year.
(Song: Happy New Year) You know it hasn't been bad More happy than sad But I tell you I'm glad when I think about starting all over again Yeah, I know what we did But I don't think about then That was a moment, but this is another So I'm not gonna cry when we say goodbye To the year that is quickly receding We're not gonna look back We know we're on the right track And we all know that time is fleeting (Time is fleeting) Time is fleeting Because you know it's a new year, it's a brand new beginning Another 365 and the world keeps spinning It's a new year, it's a time for celebration The fun has just begun Yeah, it's gonna be a Happy New Year (Gonna be a Happy New Year) (Gonna be a Happy New Year) Gonna be a Happy New Year (Gonna be a Happy New Year) Gonna have a Happy New Year 'Cause you know it's a new year, it's a brand new beginning What is happening? Is this your doing, bro? Another 365 and the world keeps spinning "Auld Lang Syne" literally means "old long ago", but I'd rather think of New Year's as an unspoiled universe.
It's a new year, it's a time for celebration The fun has just begun I sure hope Candace can see the fireworks.
Yes, gonna be a Happy New Year You know, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to keep this resolution.
That's okay.
I like you just the way you are.
Happy New Year, Candace.
Gonna be a Happy New Year! Happy New Year, Jeremy.
'Cause you know it's a new year, it's a brand new beginning Another 365 and the world keeps spinning It's a new year, it's a time for celebration The fun has just begun Yes, gonna be a Happy New Year (Gonna be a Happy New Year) (Gonna be a Happy New Year) Gonna be a Happy New Year (Gonna be a Happy New Year) Happy New Year! Gonna have a Happy New Year! Mwah!
Oh, no problem, Linda.
I have all the neighborhood kids tonight.
C'mon, c'mon, I don't want to be late for my first grown-up party! Huh.
Okay, hun.
Bye, everyone! Happy New Year! Bye, guys! Goodbye! Happy New Year! We're gonna have so much fun! We've got noisemakers, balloons, confetti And of course, we'll all stay up till midnight and watch the New Year's Eve ball drop! Baljeet's already out! Wake up, will ya! Aw! You're drooling all over my arm! You know, saliva is 98% water and the other 2% is made up of very beneficial electrolytes.
It is gross, but it is science.
You're lucky the gross factor outweighs the science factor, or you'd have a one-way ticket to wedgie town! Well, it'll be fun to finally see the ball drop.
Oh, it's a wonderful tradition! And, of course, there's the other tradition of kissing someone special at midnight.
Well then, I know what we're gonna do tonight.
Really? Yeah! We're gonna make our own New Year's ball and drop it from outer space! Your mother is right, Phineas.
You have such an active imagination! Not active enough.
I'm going to make some hot chocolate.
You kids come in when you want to warm up.
Hey, where's your platypus? Morning, Agent P.
Sorry about the cold climate inside your lair, you see, the heating system is on the fritz and we had to call a guy in from Aruba.
But I can assure you that we are all in the same boat here.
You're not alone in this.
We are all sharing the pain, andâ Awkward.
Race ya to the wet ski! Um Uh, Doof's doing something in City Hall, and put a stop to whatever it is.
Hey, Carl! I get the blue one! Okay, Phineas! We're good to go! Great.
Bring her down! How's the soldering going up there? Ferb is almost done.
How are you doing, Buford? Why do I have to paint? Painting is for babies and beatniks! That's no ordinary paint.
It's a super-sealer that will protect us from the cold, dark vacuum of space! Beatnik talk! Hey, Phineas.
Mind if we see the inside? Not at all! Check it out! A multi-level New Year's ball with punch bowl sailing.
Ahoy! Balloon room, the bed of a thousand coats, an infinity slide, and through here, the grand ballroom! In other words, a ball within a ball! Whoa! Irving? How do I get out of here?! Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Happy New Year! Norm, I told you.
You don't celebrate 'til midnight, not all day.
What if midnight never comes? Then you've squandered a whole day celebrating.
Ever think of that, tough guy? Perry the Platypus? It's a bottle of sparkling cider trap, and you're the cork! Which makes you Perry the Cork-apus! You got a funny name.
Anyway, it's New Year's-themed! Happy New Year! Not yet, Norm.
And on to my plan.
I recently learned that in most of the world, there's a tradition where people decide to change something about their lives in the coming year.
And they call it "a New Year's resolution.
" I-I had no idea, you see, back in Drusselstein, change was frowned upon.
Any change! Uh, you couldn't change your channel on your TV, you couldn't change your underwear and forget about changing your hairstyle, you'dâ You'd end up in jail.
But here in the new world, we embrace change! Apparently.
And that's why I came up with the Resolution Changer-inator! Cleverly disguised as a bow tie! When I turn it on at the stroke of midnight, it will make everyone change their resolution from whatever it was, likeâ I don't know, "I-I'm gonna lose weight" or "gain a limb", or whatever.
to, "I'm going to make Heinz Doofenshmirtz my leader and obey his every command".
That will be their new resolution.
All right, Norm.
How do I look? Like a pharmacist in a bow tie! Eh, good enough.
Time to go.
You're squandering, Norm! Ready to get your party on, dear? Do one-legged ducks swim in circles? Wow.
First year with the adults! Yep, we're all grown-up now.
No more pigtails, dollies, or obsessing over boys.
From now on, we obsess over men.
And no more busting! Attagirl! Yep, I'm sticking to my resolution and turning over a new leaf.
Fifteen whole minutes and I haven't thought of Phineas and Ferb.
How they make those things.
You know, those big, like, dangerous things they make Candace Sorry! I'm back, I'm back.
Resolution kicking in.
Resolution kicking in.
Oh, look, here come the boys! You mean, men? Ladies.
That's us! We're ladies.
Carbonation is fun! Hello, Danville! Hey, you there! What's your New Year's resolution? To update my mustache.
That's what you think! I don't know.
It seemed achievable.
This is so great, being here as an adult.
Not like my brothers.
Who are kids.
Who are probably building something Candace Something big Candace Big and bustable Gotta go! Oh, no, you don't! This is gonna be a new year with a new Candace! Remember? Gotta bust.
G-G-G-Gotta bu-bu-bu-bust! Bust! It's okay.
It's just a temporary relapse.
Candace? Stacy told me about your New Year's resolution.
I I need a timeout.
I'll be right back! Relapse? Relapse.
That's what you think! Oh It never stops beingâ Perry! Perry the Platypus? You can't come in here, this is a black-tie affair.
Perry again! Actually, I guess it doesn't really specify pants anywhere, so I guess you're okay.
Oh, and another little tidbit about the ancient Egyptians is that both men and women wore makeup.
Just like the '80s.
Hold it together, girl.
You can do this.
Hey, I thought your New Year's resolution was to stop eating sandwiches in the bathroom.
But it's not midnight yet, so I can still enjoy this.
Not midnight yet? That's it! I've actually got an hour left to bust my brothers! I've gotta find out what they're doing! I'll get video.
Whoa! Oh! Ooh! Huh, that parkour training actually paid off.
All right.
Let's start this bash in a ball! Yay! Oh, no, I missed it! And how am I gonna show Mom? No worries! I'm live-blogging the whole event on my podcast! We're trending right now! Right now? Hey, all of you out there in Internet Land! Watch closely because I'm gonna bust Phineas and Ferb.
She never busts them.
And Internet Land is not a real place! What is this, the coat room? All right, Perry the Platypus, if you really want to fight, here I aâ Ooh, cashmere.
Nice.
Hey, Candace.
I got you a glass of sparkling cider.
Rain check! This is my last time to bust! Serious relapse.
Come on, Irving.
Yes! Everyone, can I have your attention, please? My brothers and their friends will be dropping from outer space in that giant New Year's ball.
Oh, my gosh! Oh, amazing! Ooh, that's fantastic! Ooh! No, that's not fantastic! It, uhâ Okay, well, I-I admit it's impressive, but it's still bustable! Mom! If those were my boys, they'd be so busted.
Please! Adopt me now! Ugh! Mom! Okay, it's almost midnight, let's go! You'll never get out of that straitjacket.
Why would anyone wear that to a New Year's Eve party? I guess maybe if you were a magician, maybe Only one minute 'til midnight! Time to launch my plan! Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Almost done! Mom! It's New Year's! This is no time for kissing! Happy New Year! Now watch this.
What is everyone's New Year's resolution? To follow you, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, our new leader! Hmm, so, how does it feel to be a loser, Perry the Platypus? I mean, that's a rhetorical question.
Of course, i-if anyone should know how it feels, it should be me, but All right, everyone! Follow me, we're taking over City Hall! Hello? What are you doing? Obey me! Hey, w-what about your resolution? Everyone knows that no one ever keeps their New Year's resolution.
That doesn't even make any sense! Why would you make resolutions if you're not ever gonna folâ Did you know about this? You did! You knew about this and you still punched and kicked and pinched me.
Ah, I guess you're right.
That'sâ That is what we do.
Aw, thank you, Perry the Platypus.
Happy New Year.
(Song: Happy New Year) You know it hasn't been bad More happy than sad But I tell you I'm glad when I think about starting all over again Yeah, I know what we did But I don't think about then That was a moment, but this is another So I'm not gonna cry when we say goodbye To the year that is quickly receding We're not gonna look back We know we're on the right track And we all know that time is fleeting (Time is fleeting) Time is fleeting Because you know it's a new year, it's a brand new beginning Another 365 and the world keeps spinning It's a new year, it's a time for celebration The fun has just begun Yeah, it's gonna be a Happy New Year (Gonna be a Happy New Year) (Gonna be a Happy New Year) Gonna be a Happy New Year (Gonna be a Happy New Year) Gonna have a Happy New Year 'Cause you know it's a new year, it's a brand new beginning What is happening? Is this your doing, bro? Another 365 and the world keeps spinning "Auld Lang Syne" literally means "old long ago", but I'd rather think of New Year's as an unspoiled universe.
It's a new year, it's a time for celebration The fun has just begun I sure hope Candace can see the fireworks.
Yes, gonna be a Happy New Year You know, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to keep this resolution.
That's okay.
I like you just the way you are.
Happy New Year, Candace.
Gonna be a Happy New Year! Happy New Year, Jeremy.
'Cause you know it's a new year, it's a brand new beginning Another 365 and the world keeps spinning It's a new year, it's a time for celebration The fun has just begun Yes, gonna be a Happy New Year (Gonna be a Happy New Year) (Gonna be a Happy New Year) Gonna be a Happy New Year (Gonna be a Happy New Year) Happy New Year! Gonna have a Happy New Year! Mwah!