Phineas and Ferb s04e09 Episode Script

Mind Share (15 min)

It was good getting down around town with my main man, Phineas and Ferb.
I think those translation sideburns are really working for you, Meap.
Rock n' roll! Meap! Later, Meap! Hi, Phineas.
What'cha doin'? Oh, you missed it.
We were just talking to Meap in the galactic web.
What is that flashing on your screen? Hmm I don't know.
Let's open it up, Ferb.
Hi! My name is Morg.
Have you ever wished that you could pop off to another planet, on the other side of the galaxy for a quick visit? Well, now you can! With Mind Share Vacations! Hmm! You and your friends can trade places, with me and my friends, for the interplanetary vacation, of a lifetime! That sounds like fun.
Imagine, relaxing in a hot rock by the pools, and then surrounded by beautiful newts! Or splork through the tubeworm forest, of put wishum foomf! Woo-hoo! Hmm! Here's how it works.
Your mind comes to lodge in his head, and his mind goes to stay in yours.
Only your mind makes the trip, hmm.
All you have to do, is build this highly sophisticated device, and be on your way to pri— A mind share vacation of a lifetime! Ferb, I think I know what we're gonna do today.
It sounded like he almost said we were on our way to Perry.
Hey, where is Perry? Morning, Agent P.
We have intelligence that Doofenshmirtz may have taken up Square Dancing.
He cannot be allowed to use one of our beloved American traditions for his evil purposes! So get out there and make sure he do–si— Do–sen't do that, I guess.
There, finished.
Well, that was easier than I thought.
Let's fire this bad boy up! Brace yourselves for fun, because we're going on a Mind Share Vacation! Did it work? I think it did.
Hey, wait a second.
Where the heck are we? Oh, "prison".
We were on our way to prison.
That's what he almost said.
Hmm! Our escape plan worked perfectly! We are now free to ransack this planet! Everyone, celebration noises! Okay, that's enough! It appears as though we've been transported into some sort of intergalactic hoosegow.
I was framed! I'm afraid we've all been duped into aiding in the escape of some rather brilliant galactic prisoners.
And they did it with this little gadget— Phineas, that's you! That's right, losers, hmm! We pulled the old switcheroo! In case you chumps have any ideas about coming back, we're setting the device on our end to self-destruct! In one hour! Why are we waiting an hour to destroy it? Have you no sense of drama? Sayonara, suckers! Hmm! Ain't that the squirts.
Well, look on the bright side! I got nothing.
Hey, guys! I just realized somethin'! I'm the only fly in a prison full of frogs and lizards! Luckily, I do not think anyone else has noticed.
You're mine, flyboy! Fresh fly! We're gonna get you! Well, it was nice knowing you.
I think I figured out how we can reverse this thing.
We'll be back in our own bodies in no time, barring any unforeseen— What's that? Out of your cells, ladies! Surprise inspection! Cell number 12, don't make me come down there! Morg! What are you and your misfits up to this time? What's that? Oh, uh Contraband! One more infraction outta you nerds and I will put you all in the hole for good! You got it?! The guard just took our only connection back to Earth! Now what are we gonna do? I think we might be able to rebuild it, if we could just get the parts.
We need to find a guy who knows how to get things.
Every prison has one.
How do you know what every prison ha— Uh-uh! Don't go there! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Where on earth do you think you're going? We're going to Lotsmo to steal food.
What?! Are you pretending to be aliens or something? Hmm.
Yes, pretending.
Hilarity noises! I'm not gonna tell you again! Gotcha! I know what you're thinking.
Why the snazzy getup? Why the boots? Well, you see, I met this girl, Rosie, on a square-dancing website and I may have led her to believe that I'm an expert square dancer.
Hey, don't give me that self-righteous look! It's the web, man! Everybody stretches the truth! You don't think that cat really eats cheeseburgers, do you? Anyway, that's why I made these boots to help me dance.
See? They have these little microphones that hear all the commands of the square dance caller, and they move exactly to those commands, making me the perfect square dancer! So, I really want to make a good impression.
Maybe you can come along and, you know, make me look good.
What do you say? Will you be my wingman? There's my guy! Oh, yeah, and by the way, she also thinks I'm a champion bull rider, so if it comes up, you— Hey, don't look at me like that! There must be a guy like me in every prison in the universe.
I'm the guy who knows how to get things.
Dragonflies, a warm rock if that's your thing, or maybe a lilypad for your kid's graduation.
So, when Morg and his friends needed parts for a mind-swap device, they came looking for me.
Psst.
I understand you're a guy that knows how to get things.
Stop it! Stop it! What is wrong with you?! Spit him out! I'm sorry.
I skipped breakfast.
What is it you are looking for? Here.
We made a list.
You can find everything you need in the dumpster out back of the Lotsmo on Flyway 61.
So then, you can get us the stuff? No.
I'm not the guy who gets things.
I'm the guy who knows how to get things.
You would have to tunnel out of your cell and crawl 500 yards through the prison gunge pipe just to reach the outside.
That's the length of five football fields.
How d'ya know how long a football field is? Later that day, to make their escape, those boys crawled through 500 yards of foul-smelling nastiness I can't even imagine.
That's the length of 11 baseball banners, one tennis court, a medium-sized male elephant and a croquet wicket.
It wasn't long before they found everything that they needed.
Great! Let's hurry up and put this thing together! The sooner, the better! But if we do the mind swap here, those criminals will still be out of jail.
You're right.
I hadn't thought of that.
So, even later that day, those boys crawled back through 500 yards of foul-smelling nastiness that I— Actually, it is not as bad as you would think.
Yeah, gunge is actually quite refreshing.
Oh.
Well, it was still 500 yards.
That's the length of two volleyball courts, a Nimitz-class aircraft carrier, a large three-drawer filing cabinet, three French— We're not listening anymore! Oh.
Okay, then.
Ooh, check it out, Perry the Platypus.
There she is.
That's Rosie.
She's from Hazel Park by the racetrack.
Why don't you go over there and sit with the other wingmen? And you can, you know, give me hand signals in case I get stuck.
Right? Hi, there.
I'm— I'm JohnnyRingoenshmirtz217.
Oh, so nice to finally meet you face to face.
I must say, I like a man with a strong chin.
Oh, well Well, thank you.
I— A lot of people just focus on the, you know, the weak forehead.
So, you— So, you care to dance? Well, I would love to.
(Song: Square Dance) Do-si-do with all your might Join elbows and circle right Now join hands with the lady fair And promenade her around the fair Well, Johnny, I'm impressed.
Pick it up now! Well, these boots were made for dancin' literally.
You're lookin' good out there Now promenade your lady fair Well, these boots were made for dancin' literally.
Hello? Earth? Hello? Why are you talking like my little brother, lizard boy? It's me, Candace! Phineas! Outer space alien super crooks from a planet of frogs and reptiles have taken over our bodies.
Okay.
What do you want me to do? Really? You believe that weird story just like that? Yeah, it's been a long summer, kid.
What do you need? Well, okay.
We need you to find those aliens that look like us and get them to stand on the mind share machine staging area over there.
The what? You know, that platform thing.
It's the only way we can get our brains back into our bodies.
Okay.
Oh, the machine is set to self-destruct in one hour, so you've gotta hurry.
Right! I'm on it, Phineas! Hmm, quickly now! Get all that gluten on the transport vehicle! Hmm, let's go! I've seen Argonian moon sloths that move faster! Now join hands with the lady fair Hmm, what is that? And promenade her around the fair That sound? I feel compelled to obey its hypnotic quadrilateral voice commands! Pick it up now! Hmm.
Must seek out source! Where are they going now? You got me all tuckered out with that fancy footwork you been doin'.
What should we do now? Oh, well, let's see.
We could rub our stomachs and point to our mouths and later we could roll our eyes and put our head in our hands? I thought we could get somethin' to eat.
Oh, that sounds good, too.
I mean— Hang on, let me check.
Let's go! Oh, rhinestone encrusted oracle, command us with your quadrilateral right angle voice commands! Hmm.
Allemande with the old left hand Hand over hand and heel over heel The faster you go, the better you feel! Now allemande right, tip her to and fro Duck on under, don't be slow Two more times then turn around Of course.
Lift her up and set her down! Now grab hands and— Listen up, dweebs, and listen good! You're gonna do what I say you should! If you're a reptile, four by four All join hands and head for the door! That's right! Cross on through there! Out the door and all turn west Together now, don't be a pest Wait right here for all of us We're about to board the Main Street bus Out of your cells, ladies! Inspection time! Oh, Candace better hurry up! I'm gonna get my brothers back You cosmic kleptomaniacs! So get on up with a hop and a spring Climb on up on the The Oh, what the heck did Phineas call that thing? Number 12, front and center! Number 12! Oh, what did he call it? The— The transfer stage arena? The mind swap place? The— The, um Come on, Candace! Hurry! Oh, I remember! Climb on up that platform thing! What have you got to say for yourself this time, Morg?! We were framed! Hmm.
Candace, you did it! That's right, and when Mom gets home, you're gonna be so And just in the nick of time! Oh, never mind.
Oh, Johnny, isn't it amazing how well we square-danced together? (Song: Shake Your Body) Shake your body like you just don't care! Shake your body like you just don't care! Shake your body, shake your body, shake your body, shake your body Shake it, shake it, shake it It's the boots! I-I— I don't usually have boogie fever! I don't usually have boogie fever! You know, I— Oh, JohnnyRingoenshmirtz! You said you only square danced! Well, I could never go out with someone who would stretch the truth on the internet! Goodbye! Oh, come on! You don't think that cat really plays the piano, do ya? Shake your body, shake your body! Shake it, shake!
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