Phineas and Ferb s04e15 Episode Script

Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown Hosted By Kelly Osbourne (15 min)

From the PFT Studios in still moderately charming and majestic downtown Danville, it's— Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know the drill.
We've hosted before.
He's good and I'm evil blah blah blah.
I, for one, am excited to be here.
And I'm all tingly! I've actually got butterflies in my stomach.
Let me finish my introduction! Welcome to Phineas and Ferb's Musical Cliptastic Countdown Hosted by Kelly Osbourne! Welcome to Phineas and Ferb's Musical Cliptastic Countdown Hosted by Kelly Osbourne! And now, here's our host.
She's a singer, an actor, a fashionista du jour Kelly Osbourne! She's a singer, an actor, a fashionista du jour Kelly Osbourne! Hi, everybody! What'cha doin'? I have always wanted to say that.
I am so excited to be here.
I promise you guys, this is gonna be a rockin' show full of surprises.
And anyone who knows anything about me, they know that I absolutely love Phineas and Ferb! And being a singer myself, I love love love the songs.
Wait, wait, wait.
W-What's goin' on here? We are the hosts! Yeah, and, uh, aren't you a little too three-dimensional to host an animated show, young lady? Yes.
Yes, I am.
But I'm doing it anyway, so just deal with it.
B-But we have hosting contracts and everything! Did you read your contract? Nobody reads them, they're like a hundred pages long and pages 2 through 99 are useless.
Like, like parsley on a dinner plate.
Nobody eats it.
And you know, if they're gonna put stuff on your plate that you're not going to eat, why not make it something useful, like a— Like a keychain or, or gold doubloons.
Dude, why are you rambling on about parsley? You're bringing the entire energy of the show down! Maybe you guys can be my co-hosts! Co-hosts? I don't like the sound of that.
Sounds like a demotion.
Enough of you two.
You guys ready? Let's get this party started! There were so many songs to pick from, I mean, just take a look at all of them.
Wow, that is a lot of songs.
You guys voted and now we're gonna rock the top 10! Here's number 10! Is this the Phineas and Ferb party? Sure is.
Phineas and Ferb parties rule! It's not their party, it's my party! And it's not a party, it's an intimate get together.
What was that? Put that down.
Pardon me! Use a napkin! What is my science teacher doing here? I never miss a Phineas and Ferb party! First of all, it's not a party, but if it were a party, it would not be their party, it would be my party! (Candace party! Candace party!) It's not a party, it's an intimate get together! (Candace party! Candace party!) Don't call it that, it's just a get together! (Candace party! Candace party!) Don't spill your drink Don't drop your food Don't make the music in the house go boom Hey, don't use my mom's good scissors And please stay out of my room! Take your feet off the chair No running in the house Put a coaster under that drink Hey, these tchotchkes aren't for juggling And that's a toilet, not a sink! It's not a party, it's an intimate get together (Candace party! Candace party!) Don't call it that, it's just a get together (Candace party! Candace party!) Hi, Mom! What? What?! I-I'm sorry, I can't hear you over Candace's intimate get together! (Candace party!) Hey, what's this in this fishbowl? I said don't play with the remote! Hey close the door, were you born in a barn? Which one of you brought this goat? It's not a party, it's an intimate get together! (Candace party! Candace party!) Don't call it that, it's just a get together! (Candace party! Candace party!) We're talking I to the N to the T-I-M-A-T-E get together! (Whaaaat?) I to the N to the T-I-M-A-T-E get together! That's right! It's not a party.
Ugh.
Demoted to co-host.
I've been a co-host before and I had a blast doing it! Well, goody gumdrops for you! Don't worry, Kelly.
I am totally down for being second banana.
Well, first of all, that's a little sad.
But, second of all, technically, you would be third banana.
It would go, Kelly, and then me, and then you.
And, it— I would be second banana.
Nobody is a banana, because there are no bananas! Yes, we have no bananas! Here's the song rolling in at number 9! Excellent.
From the top of this building, everyone in the Tri-State Area should be able to hear us.
Perry You know you are a boy's best friend You're more than just a passing trend You're like a treat from a candy store Oh, Perry We love you more than ice cream cakes We love you more than bugs and snakes We love you more than all things mentioned before Oh, Perry You're extraordinary You're kinda short and hairy The color of a blueberry Yes, Perry So come home, Perry Come home, Perry, come home Hey, Candace, why don't you sing one? Um Oh, Perry I think it's kinda scary I can't find you anywhere-y It fills me with despair-y? Oh, Perry I'm allergic to dairy I'm gonna move to the prairie And change my name to Larry Larry? I ran out of rhymes, all right? She'll change her name to Larry! Larry! Larry! So, come home, Perry Come home, Perry, come home So, come home, Perry Come home, Perry, come home Come home, Perry, come home Oh, there you are, Perry.
Perry! Good job, Larry.
Welcome home.
This is going to be a fantastic countdown! Um, just one thing, you guys.
We seriously have to do something about your your fashion.
It's just not working.
Well, really? You look a bit, like, stiff and-and uniformy.
Right, guys? Uniformy? Is that even a word? Yeah, "uniformy.
" If you look it up, there's a picture of you.
You're one to talk.
What? I mean that whole laboratory look was never in, even if you are an "evil scientist".
You should try a cape.
A cape? Where am I gonna get a cape at this hour? You could try a Nehru jacket.
Well, go and get changed then.
If I could get a Nehru jacket, I could get a cape.
Men.
While my co-hosts go backstage and bring their fashions into this century, here's song 8.
I can do it, I can run, I can hunt you down You can try but you can't stop me 'cause I'm gainin' ground I'm light on my feet and I'm quick to the punch I had a heavy breakfast but a real light lunch I'm a raging bonfire, a cherry bomb, I'm me I'm rough-and-tumble, I'm the one to beat I'm a fresh coat of blacktop burnin' at your feet I've got a poisonous sting, when I rain I pour I'm the best of the best, I'm the soup du jour I'm smooth as glass and sharp as a tack, I'm me I'm the last and best stick of gum in the pack, I'm me I'm a strong woman, fast-talkin', big bad dog-walkin' Hifalutin', drum-beatin', foot-stompin', corn-poppin' Speedy locomotive that just won't stop! I'm a hot apple pie with a cherry on top! I'm a crowd-pleasin', head-spinnin' Winnin' in the ninth inning Whip-lashin', record-smashin' Black-tie party-crashin' Cyclone of fun, I'm an army of one! I'm strawberry sprinkles on a hot cross bun! I'm a big haymaker in a title fight I'm a cute black kitten with a nasty bite I'm an action double-feature on a Friday night! I'm me! I'm me! I'm me! I'm me! I'm me! Okay, let's keep rocking and get rol— Wait, wait, wait! Wait for us! Yeah, hold the boat.
Mind you, this does not mean in any way, shape, or hair color, that I am your co-host.
I-I'm just sayin'.
Wow! Now I know what I would look like if I had middle-aged male clones.
Oh, I can't believe I let myself get talked into this.
It's embarrassing and, if I'm being honest, a bit drafty.
Ah, just go with it, Francis.
Hey, look at this! Strike a pose! Look, look, look, I'm vo— Voguing?! I love voguing! It's so 90's! I was a bit of a secret voguer myself.
Really? It wasn't a secret.
You know what we should do then? Strike a pose.
Vogue.
Voguing.
That's it.
Look it up, kids.
That's what the internet is for.
That was fun! Great idea, Kelly.
Thank you.
But, but, voguing was my idea! I started to say "voguing" and you just cut me off right before when I— When I just got "vo" out.
You know, I-I— W-What did you think I was gonna say? Vociferous? What other words start with "vo"? Give it a rest, Heinz.
He's always like this.
That's it! That is it! You will rue the day that you demoted Heinz Doofenshmirtz to co-host! Hm.
You know what that means? I think I do.
More hosting for us! All right! Here's a little ditty I like to call "Song Number 7"! Through the eye of the needle Time to loosen your tongue Got a tip how to make ends meet A-G-L-E-T, don't forget it Gets us all up on our feet, yeah, yeah, yeah A-G-L-E-T, don't forget it (Aglet!) A-G-L-E-T, don't forget it (Aglet!) A-G-L-E-T, don't forget it (Aglet!) A-G-L-E-T, don't forget it (Aglet!) A-G-L-E-T, don't forget it We're tying the world together (Aglet!) A-G-L-E-T, don't forget it We're tying the world together (Aglet!) A-G-L-E-T, don't forget it We're gonna tie the world together (Aglet!) A-G-L-E-T, don't forget it We're gonna tie the world together (Aglet!) One word at a time! Ladies and gentlemen, my sister, Candace Flynn! And in the end of most important thing Is that we never forget The end of a shoelace is called the The Uh Wait a minute! It doesn't matter! I can't believe I was almost sucked into this! Are you guys having as much fun as I am? Yes! Now that I'm back in my old clothes, uniformy or not.
I predict the Nehru jacket will make a comeback.
Hmm.
Not gonna happen.
Oh.
But you know what is gonna happen? Song number 6! So Phineas, what do you think of the City of Love? I wish it was the City of Airplane Parts.
Oh, you're just too stressed.
You should take a moment to relax and enjoy it.
We could share a crêpe sucrée At this Parisian café Huh.
That awning could be used as a sail.
Or, you know, a parachute, depending on how things go.
Take a break and smell these flowers Underneath the Eiffel Tower I wonder if they still have pieces of that hanging around? The rivets would come in handy.
Oh, Phineas Won't you share a crème brûlée with me? Hey, look at that nifty little blow torch! How perfect could this be In the City of Love? (In the City of Love) In the City of Love (In the City of Love) We could try some fancy cheese Or peruse the galleries I wonder if oil-based paint is combustible as a rocket fuel.
Isn't this a perfect day? How do I look in this beret? Oh, that reminds me, we might need helmets! Oh, how can he not feel the same way When we're strolling down the Champs-Élysées In the City of Love? (In the City of Love) (In the City of Love) I wish that he would whisper "ma chérie, je t'aime" But all he wants to do is try to fix that plane In the City of Love (In the City of Love) In the City of Love (In the City of Love) In the City of Love (In the City of Love) Hey, you! Stop letting my balloons go! Okay, little Miss Osbourne, prepare to say hello to your doom, at the hands of— Okay, little Miss Osbourne, prepare to say hello to your doom, at the hands of— Well, I guess in this case, in the head of the man who is not your co-host! Wow.
That was close.
Wait.
Was that Perry the Platypus? Great, they're probably letting him host the show.
Perry! Everyone, welcome Perry! Oh my gosh, this day just keeps getting better and better! You know, I was hoping that you'd stop by.
Do you— Do you want to introduce the next song? Let me translate for you guys.
What I believe he just said was, "Swinging in at song number 5 is" Summer It sounds dangerous, yet oddly compelling.
What is it? What is summer? Man, where do I begin? The days are longer The nights are shorter The sun is shining It's noticeably warmer Summer, every single moment is worth its weight in gold Summer, it's like the world's best story and it's waiting to be told It's ice cream cones and cherry soda dripping down your chin It's summer, man, where do we begin? Summer is ponds and pools and garden hoses, tryin' to beat the heat Summer, bicycles and roller skates and even just bare feet It's also Surfing tidal waves Creating nanobots Or locating Frankenstein's brain Finding a dodo bird Painting a continent or driving our sister in— Oh, wait.
Maybe we're going too fast.
Summer, it's crickets and cicadas and a glass of lemonade Summer, it's sitting with your brother in the backyard under the shade of a big tree That's what it means to me The days are longer The nights are shorter The sun is shining It's noticeably warmer Summer, every single moment is worth its weight in gold Summer, it's like the world's best story and it's waiting to be told It's ice cream cones and cherry soda dripping down your chin It's summer, man, where do we begin? It's summer, man, where do we begin? That last song just makes me wanna move and groove, but enough about me.
Because I have a surprise for everyone.
A friend of mine wanted to stop by and say hi, so please, put your hands together and give a warm welcome to Maia Mitchell! Hi! Everyone, I was watching from backstage and I could not wait to get out here! I love all the songs so far! I know, right? Aren't they fun? Yeah, they're amazing! And, Kelly, you are doing an awesome job of hosting.
Isn't she? No, no, you're great! And, Major Monogram, I'm Maia.
Pleasure to meet you, young lady.
And Perry! I love you! You're my favorite, actually, because, we have something in common.
What's that? We're both from Australia.
Didn't even think of that.
That's so cool! That is so cool.
Maia, why don't you introduce the next song? Yeah, I was actually waiting for you to ask me to do that.
Check it out! It's number 4! Do I know you? Yeah, I'm you from another dimension.
Well, that would explain the handsomeness.
Right back at you, big guy.
Does that mean you and I are exactly alike? I suppose so.
Do you want some rice pudding? Blech, no, that's gross! It was a test! Almond brittle? Ooh, I love it the most! Me too! Do you collect coins? Yeah, just in case Vending machines become the dominant race! I've been alone all these years With my irrational fears But not the vending machine thing.
That's gonna happen.
But now before me I see Someone with whom I agree I've found a brand new best friend and it's me I've found a brand new best friend and it's me Hmm, I thought I'd be taller I've been told I slouch I thought I've have both my eyes, you know It's in this pouch.
Ouch! You know, I can't help but notice that your scar goes over your eyepatch.
Yeah? Nothing.
Do llamas weird you out? Yeah, are they camels or sheep? No, no, I meant Lorenzo Oh, that's right.
He played Meap! Now I know all about you And you know all about me Ooh-wee-ooh And now before me I see Someone with whom I agree I've found a brand new best friend and it's me I've found a brand new best friend and it's me Now that I've found you Or we can be a duo That's right.
Twice the evil Double Doofenshmirtz Coming at you Fridays! What's that, are we doing a TV show together? Oh, no.
It just sort of sounded like that.
I-I mean, we could.
We should! Hmm, maybe we're not so much alike.
That can be your catchphrase! You're the grumpy one.
Eh? There are so many great songs! I know! What did you think about that last song, Perry? I-I have a— I have a confession.
What's that? I might, uh make Perry noises when no one's looking.
You're kidding! Me, too! You do? All the time! Make that three! Sir, I just wanted to check and see if you— Maia Mitchell! I'm your biggest fan! Love your voice and your work! Thank you so much.
You're really sweet.
Hey, you know what? I've got an idea.
Why don't we all make Perry noises together? Yeah! You ready? Yeah.
Ready? Okay.
Nobody does it better than Perry.
I'll never get tired of that.
Me neither.
Well, sadly, I have to go.
No! Really? Yeah, but thank you so much for having me.
Thank you so much for stopping by! Of course, my pleasure.
Maia Mitchell, everyone! Bye! Hey, I'll walk you out! Looks like someone's got a schoolboy crush.
You think? Anyway, let's get back to the countdown.
Here's number 3.
Who's up for charades? Perry the Platypus, what are you doing down here? Dad? Oh, hi, Vanessa.
Dad, what are you doing? Well, I'll be honest, I don't really understand But I fell down this hill now I got glue on my hands And I got records on my fingers (Whaaat?) Records on my fingers I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop (Don't stop!) I can't stop, I got a platypus controlling me (Whaaat?) I got a platypus controlling me Now let me sum it up It was a strange set of circumstances (Strange set of circumstances) I fell down the hill, I got glue on my hands Now I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop (Don't stop! Don't stop!) Well I would if I was able There's a platypus controlling me, he's underneath the table (There's a platypus controlling him) (Whaaat?) Oh, I get it! Platypus is a metaphor for whatever's keeping you down! Like corporations are a platypus The government's a platypus Your teacher is a platypus My teacher is a panda.
Society's a platypus My parents are a platypus The media's a platypus It's all just propaganda Yeah, we all got a platypus controlling us Just me We all got a platypus controlling us I'd stop if I was able We all got a platypus controlling us I'm not speaking metaphorically The platypus controlling me is underneath the table Wait! Oh, wait, no, he's gone! Hey! There's no platypus controlling me! There's no platypus controlling me! Your dad's kinda cool.
You're my punk-rock boyfriend! You're not supposed to think my dad is cool! It only matters that I think he's cool.
She thinks I'm cool! You know what'd be really cool? To write a song, so next year the song can be on the countdown! Well, as a fellow musician, I heartily agree.
Oh, you're a musician? Well, yes, from, uh From time to time, I like to strum the ukulele.
Ah! Uh Did I miss Maia Mitchell? I'm afraid so.
Ah, bummer.
Anyway, as a musician, not as a co-host, mind you, I'd like to get in on this little songwriting thing you're about to do.
What do you play? Oh, several things, but my instrument of choice is the kazoo.
You rock the kaz? I do.
Fine! Let's start with the lyrics then.
Maybe we can do some sort of a round robin kinda thing and write a line, and the next person can rhyme it.
Oh, good idea.
Me first, me first.
Uh, let's see, um "When I wake up in the morning sun" "I realize you're the only one.
" Oh, now it's me.
Oh, yeah.
"And by the moon that's also silver" Dude, really? What? What? There's no rhyme for the word "silver".
Yeah, she's right.
No, no, look! Eh, then Uh "Bilver" a-and there's— What, what? What is a "bilver"? It's a water moving thingy.
I believe what you're thinking of is a bilge pump.
Oh.
I've always called it a "bilver".
Okay, how about this? "And by the moon that's also orange" Oy.
Is that better? See how I just rolled my eyes? Please roll clip number 2! It's been a long, long day and there were moments when I doubted That we'd ever reach the point where we could laugh and sing about it Now the sun has set on this another extraordinary day And when it comes around again, you know I'll say Tell me what you wanna do today All we need is a place to start if we have heart, we'll make it 'Cause we're not messin' around (We're not messin' around) Yes, we can dream it, do it, build it, make it I know we can really take it To the limit before the sun goes down As soon as you wake up you gotta make your move Don't miss the beat, just get into the groove The sun is shinin', there's a lot that you can do There's a world of possibilities outside your door Why settle for a little, you can get much more Don't need an invitation, every day is new Yes, it's true Summer belongs to you (Summer belongs to you) Summer belongs to you (Summer belongs to you) Summer belongs to everyone, so have some fun There's nothing better to do Summer belongs to you All right, I'm taking a verse.
Be my guest! I traveled halfway 'round the world and almost turned and ran away But you helped me get my courage back, so now I've got to say That though I've often thought of you as just a nuisance and a bother Today I can't imagine having better little brothers And you gotta believe in something So today I believed in you and you came through, we made it I've never been so proud Never been so proud I know at first it seemed implausible But we accomplished the impossible Now there's something that I've got to say out loud Time is what you make of it, so take a chance That's it! Life is full of music so you ought to dance She's got it! The world's a stage and it is time for your debut By Jove, I think she's got it! Don't waste a minute sitting on that chair Yeah! The world is callin', so just get out there That's what I'm talking about! You can see forever so your dreams are all in view Yes, it's true Summer belongs to you (Summer belongs to you) Summer belongs to you (Summer belongs to you) Summer belongs to everyone, so have some fun There's nothing better to do Hey, Candace! Summer belongs to you Jeremy! (Summer belongs to you) You came back early! Summer belongs to you Well, I missed my girlfriend.
(Summer belongs to you) Summer belongs to boys and girls all around the world Ooh, I like the sound of that! Besides, you forgot something in France.
We wouldn't say it if it wasn't true I did? What? This.
Summer belongs to you Hm? (Summer belongs to you) Baby, baby, baby, baby Summer belongs to you (Summer belongs to you) Summer belongs to you (Summer belongs to you) Whatever you want to do, you make the rules You got the tools to see it through Summer belongs to you (Summer belongs to you) Summer belongs to you (Summer belongs to you) Just remember that you can do it and when you're through it Will change your point of view Summer belongs to you! Right, guys, before we roll our last clip, I have to know something.
Do you have a favorite song on the countdown? Well, I'm, uh I'm particularly partial to number three.
And I like number seven, that's my lucky number.
It all started when I was seven years old, back in Drusselstein— W-W-Wait, wait, wait.
Y-You're doing a flashback.
Oh, yeah, it's kinda my thing.
I do a lot of these, uh It's— I'm really sorry, but we can't fit that in.
So, back there— Well, what if I make it short? We still don't have time because It's the moment we've all been waiting for! And I can't believe this, but you all picked my favorite song as the number one song! You guys have fabulous taste, I'm just saying.
You guys ready? It's Everything's Better with Perry! It's Everything's Better with Perry! Good morning, Perry! Now that's the way to wake up.
This is gonna be the best day ever.
We consider every day a plus To spend it with a platypus We're always so ecstatic 'Cause he's semi aquatic Our Ornithorhynchus anatinus Brings smiles to the both of us Life's never fuddie duddy with our web-footed buddy When we're brushing our teeth (Ooh) It's better Tying our shoes (Oh, yeah!) It's better Combing our hair It's better Like we're a cheese sandwich and he's the cheddar Blinking our eyes (Oh, yeah) It's better Breathing in and out (So much better!) It's better Sitting in a chair It's better And taking a bath, just a little bit wetter Every day is such a dream When you start it with a monotreme He's duck-billed and he's beaver-tailed and hairy (You know that he's hairy) Everything's better with Perry (Everything's better with Perry) Everything's better with Perry (Everything's better with Perry) Everything is better with Perry (Everything is better) (Everything's better with Perry) (Everything is better with Perry) Everything's better and we just want to tell you, Perry Everything's better with you (Better with you) Well, this has been the most amazing day! And to quote my favorites, Phineas and Ferb, "The best day ever!" I completely concur.
Okay, okay, I've been reconsidering and I'm going to give in.
I'm totally gonna be your co-host.
That's great.
But— So what are my co-hosting duties? What's next on the old co-hosting train I jumped aboard? What do I do? Say goodbye, Dr.
D.
That's it? Goodbye, Dr.
D! Goodbye.
Thank you so much, everybody, that was so much fun! I'm gonna be singing these songs all day! See you next time!
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