Pie In The Sky (1994) s05e08 Episode Script
Smelling of Roses
1 S05xE08 "Smelling of Roses" Aug 17, 1997 Is there a problem, Officer? Would you mind stepping out of the car, please, sir? Peter, what´s going on? It´s all right, darling.
Go back inside.
I´m gonna ask you to blow into this, please.
You see, Gary, the thing about garlic mayonnaise is you´ve got to have garlic in it.
I´ve put garlic in it! Well, not enough, obviously.
Now, you mustn´t be afraid of garlic, Gary.
This is a garlic-friendly kitchen.
If I put any more garlic in that, it´s gonna stand up and sing the Marseillaise.
Morning, everyone.
Nice day.
Oh! Garlic! See? Oh, right.
Great.
Fine.
Why not let Margaret choose the menus, then? What´s the special today, then? Deep-fried Mars bar, pizza garnish? Sounds good to me.
Chef.
Oh, what do you want? Me and Morton wanted a word, sir.
Unbelievable.
I can´t get five minutes to myself.
I can´t seem to do anything right these days.
He is very tetchy.
He´s been like this for weeks.
Maybe it´s that royal visit.
What royal visit? Oh.
To Barstock Police Station.
Oh, my God.
Don´t tell a soul.
It´s supposed to be top secret.
Peter Watson? Do you know him? No, it´s just that Fisher had asked me to run a certain Peter Watson through the computer.
Anyway, what happened, then? Well, the breath test was negative.
He hadn´t touched a drop all evening.
Fisher was furious.
You mean Fisher was there? Yes.
Well, the whole thing seemed a bit dodgy, so we thought you ought to know.
Yeah.
Well, you did the right thing.
I´ll have to try and see him today and find out what this is all about.
Give you a lift, sir? Yeah, no, thanks.
No.
You go on ahead.
There´s something I´ve got to attend to first.
I couldn´t find a decent claret on the wine list.
So I ordered a Côtes du Rhône.
Rather a departure for us, but I must say, I was pleasantly surprised.
Open.
- Say "ahh.
" - Ahh.
Thank you.
But can it stand up to duck? I rather think not.
As for Emma´s cotelettes d´Agneau, well, I could have done better myself at home.
Still, that´s Paris for you these days, I suppose.
So, the new nasal spray didn´t do much good? None whatever.
It´s, what, six weeks since you lost your sense of taste and smell? Six weeks, three days.
That was a bad cold you had.
The nasal passages were very inflamed.
Also, and I hate to say this, these things can diminish with age.
Diminish? I could taste and smell one day and not the next.
"Diminished" didn´t come into it.
Is, uh, everything all right at home, Henry? Well, if you really are worried about this, there´s a very good ear, nose, and throat man at Barstock Hospital called David Patterson.
I could drop him a line.
Thank you.
I´d appreciate that.
Cheer up, Henry.
Hardly life-threatening, is it? H.
M.
comes through the main entrance with the mayor.
The mayor introduces her to the chief constable.
You´ll be introduced third.
Third.
Well, it doesn´t matter because, look, when you´ve been introduced, you go straight through to the new computer wing, and then when they arrive for the unveiling, you´re right there, behind H.
M.
, in case the cord sticks or something.
I´m backup for the unveiling? - Yes.
- Oh.
That´s the photo opportunity, you see.
She pulls the cord.
Bingo.
The chief constable on one side, H.
M.
on the other, you just behind her.
No one else in shot.
And the others? Over there.
Over by the handicapped loo.
Siberia.
Jenny, there´s something I´ve been meaning to say to you.
Yes? Oh.
Sorry.
Yeah, that will all for now.
Thank you, Jenny.
About Morton and Guthrie, sir.
Mm.
Incredible fragrance.
This is an old English variety.
Sensual, yet somehow very English.
Crabbe, if it´s about the royal visit, I´ve told you lot what to do Stay in your office and try to look busy.
No, this is about asking Morton and Guthrie to go around Breathalyzing members of the public for no reason.
Watson was speeding, Crabbe.
Not according to Guthrie, sir.
Perhaps I should have mentioned it to you first.
The thing is, Crabbe, I´ve received certain information regarding Watson, but this information is inconclusive.
We must get the full picture without alerting Watson or putting my informant at risk.
We, sir? Watson is a tire wholesaler.
His depot is just off the ring road.
Find some pretext to visit there tomorrow.
- Check him out.
- Right.
And what exactly am I looking for? Anything and everything, Crabbe.
Use that famous nose of yours.
Ta-da! That smells fantastic.
Mm.
Doesn´t it? That´ll be me King Edwards.
No.
What is it? - Thyme? - Very good, Margaret.
Maybe I´m getting the hang of this after all.
It´s lamb boulangere.
You slice the potatoes, add lots of onion and thyme, season, cover with water, and stick it in the oven for a couple of hours.
Get a load of this, Crabbe.
Does this smell good, or what? I correctly identified the herb.
- Didn´t I, Gary? - That´s right.
She did.
Yeah, well, it looks all right.
Looks all right? Crabbe.
What do you want? It´s about this royal visit.
Me mum hasn´t been too well lately, but she´s mad about the royals, and I wondered whether you could, well, wangle her a spot with a good view.
It would cheer her up no end.
Henderson, if you want to carry on working in this kitchen, don´t talk about the royal visit, don´t talk about your mother.
In fact, don´t talk to me at all, all right? The rest of you will have to manage on your own this evening.
I´m not in the mood for cooking.
What have I done now? Not in the mood for cooking? I´ve never heard him say that before.
Well, I, for one, have had enough of this.
Henry.
What? You know very well what.
I went to the doctor today.
Why? What´s wrong? I´ve been to see him three times this month.
My God, Henry.
What are you trying to tell me? Do you remember that really bad cold I had about six weeks ago? What about it? Well, ever since then, I´ve I´ve I´ve completely lost my sense of taste and my sense of smell.
- Don´t ever do that to me again.
- What? I thought you were going to tell me it was something serious.
It is serious.
No, Henry, compared to what flashed through my mind 30 seconds ago, it is not serious! Went out just like a light.
Poor old thing.
Now I know why you´ve been so grumpy.
I´m sorry, Margaret.
Well, you should apologize to Gary.
He´s the one who´s been getting all the stick.
Well, I´ll do that tomorrow.
I really couldn´t face them down there just now.
I mean, lamb boulangere direct from the oven It´s one of my desert-island smells, it is.
Inspector Crabbe? That´s right.
- Peter Watson.
- How do you do? Your people must have got their wires crossed.
Oh.
Why´s that? The local crime-prevention officer was here a couple of weeks ago.
Ah, no, you see, I´m direct from force headquarters at Barstock.
- Ah! The top man.
- Well Well, I must say, it´s very reassuring.
Tell me, what´s Ploughshare? It´s the charity.
They´re buying a lot of tires from us at the moment.
Ah.
And where are all these going? Harwich, Rotterdam, and Dar es Salaam.
The Third World, Inspector That´s where they´re going.
And good luck to them.
Right.
I see my better half approaching.
Some sort of domestic crisis, no doubt.
Hello, darling.
This is Inspector Crabbe, come to check up on us.
My wife, Valerie.
- Pleased to meet you, Inspector.
- How do you do? Excuse us for a moment, would you? - Sure.
- Thank you.
Thank you for your help.
Who is it now? It keeps sticking.
You´re yanking.
A gentle tug should suffice.
She won´t want to yank, will she? Sir.
I´m backup for the unveiling, Crabbe.
Congratulations, sir.
Um, I´ve just been to Peter Watson´s tire depot.
Not here, Crabbe.
We´ll go to my office.
A gentle tug.
Well? Well, Watson, sir.
He runs a firm called International Tyres for the north Barstock industrial estate, and they specialize in industrial and agricultural tires.
I know all about that, Crabbe.
Tell me about Watson.
Well, what about him, sir? What did you make of him as a man? As a man? Yes, Crabbe.
As a man.
Well, I don´t know.
I mean, I only spoke to him for half an hour at the most.
Would you say he was a kind man? I really couldn´t say, sir.
It would be so much easier if you tell me what you´re after.
The full picture, Crabbe.
That´s what I´m after.
Margaret got much on at the moment? Margaret? Your wife, Crabbe.
I want her to do a job for me.
What sort of a job? An accountancy job.
What do you think? I need a civilian I can trust.
We´ll pay her out of the P.
D.
S.
budget.
Don´t you think you ought to tell me what this is all about? Are you happy, Crabbe? No, sir.
I mean in general.
So do I.
Life is there to be lived, Crabbe.
So they say.
Talk to Margaret.
That´ll be all.
Fisher wants me to do what? He wants to hire your amazing accountancy skills.
Good-oh.
Good-oh? Yes.
We could do with the money.
If I´m going to be working for the Old Bill, I´m going to charge top whack, make up for your measly salary.
Hm.
You know, Fisher´s behaving quite strangely these days.
Don´t you worry.
I can handle Freddy.
Hm.
Hm.
But he had to have six stitches.
- You´re joking.
- I´m not joking.
Oh, no.
Here he is, the man himself! Philip, what a pleasant surprise.
How are things? I´ve just been telling Gary.
Things are looking up.
We´ve been doing an extra 30 or 40 covers a week this month.
How about you? Well, we´ve been struggling along, haven´t we, Gary? Yeah, just about.
Listen, Henry, the reason I´m here is the Eagle has landed.
I´m sorry? I´ve tracked down a bottle of Château Oliver, ´61! Oh, now, Philip, really, you shouldn´t have bothered.
Come on.
After the Sauternes you produced on my birthday? I still dream about that wine.
Well, you see, the thing is, Philip, I´ve got a problem.
No ifs or buts, Henry.
Look, come to my place early Thursday evening, before we get busy, okay? Well, um Excellent.
I´ll see you then.
Bye, Gary.
Oh, and remember what I said.
Yeah, will do.
Ciao, Henry.
Um, bye-bye, Philip.
So, what did Philip have to say for himself, then? Oh, nothing.
We were just chatting.
Well, actually, I was asking his advice.
Oh, yes.
Well, the thing is, Chef, I´m not gonna stay forever, am I? I have to think about the future.
´Course you do.
So I was just asking Philip, if I was looking for a job, which I´m not, what sort of thing I should go for? That´s all.
Look, Gary, I know I´ve been very difficult to work with lately, but there is a reason.
It´s not that, Chef.
I´m very happy here.
It´s just, you know, one of these days Yeah, one of these days, you´re gonna get another job, and you´re gonna be very good at it.
Why? Because you´re a terrific chef.
So don´t worry.
I know you won´t be here forever.
This is Mr.
Highbury from Buckingham Palace.
He´s in charge of the arrangements, so give him all the cooperation he needs.
This isn´t bad, I suppose.
Everyone´s very excited about this great honor, so I want all officers to behave accordingly.
Have you got that, uh D.
I.
Crabbe, sir.
Yes.
Good.
Carry on.
These two look possible.
Mr.
Highbury is looking for suitable officers to meet H.
M.
Names? P.
C.
Jane Morton.
P.
C.
Ed Guthrie.
This one looks depressed.
No.
Serious.
He´s a serious young man with a serious job.
No, he´s right.
I am depressed.
Fresh young faces of today´s police force.
Perfect.
I´ll make sure you both get a lovely photo to show your parents.
Don´t bother.
Mine are Republicans.
Don´t answer back, Guthrie.
Just do as you´re told.
Thank you.
P.
D.
S.
Yes, sir.
Fisher.
He´s got a job for us.
Perfect.
It might be wheat.
Maybe you should try cutting out bread, sir.
Could be stress-related.
You could try aromatherapy.
Aromatherapy? He can´t smell anything, can he? Or meditation.
Meditation.
Yes.
What a good idea.
Why don´t you both shut up while I try that? Lorry coming out of the depot, sir.
That´s a Ploughshares container.
Follow that lorry, Guthrie.
International Tyres.
I know this place.
I´ve driven past it.
Well, there´s not much we can do except make a check at Companies House.
That might be instructive, mightn´t it? The rogues don´t disclose much.
And I assume this Watson person is a rogue if you´re checking up on him.
I don´t like the word "rogue.
" Rogues are likeable.
Rogues are amusing.
Peter Watson is neither.
Sorry.
I´ll choose my words more carefully in future.
Are you happy, Margaret? Generally speaking, yes.
And you settle for that, would you? Well, it´s all you can hope for, isn´t it? Being deliriously happy all the time would be pretty exhausting.
What exactly are we supposed to be doing, sir? I wish I could tell you, Guthrie.
There´s always acupuncture, of course.
Henry Crabbe, please.
You see, your taste buds are pretty crude.
They only respond to four basic flavors Sweet, sour, salt, and bitter.
It´s the olfactory nerves that allow us to enjoy the more subtle and refined flavors.
I´m going to pass a bottle of smelling salts under your nose.
If you could inhale through the nose as I do so Anything? No.
The tissue in your nasal passages seems fine, for what it´s worth.
For what it´s worth? The receptor cells are tiny and very vulnerable.
The cold you had may well have damaged them.
Tell me, did you get a bang on the head at the time of the loss? No, I don´t think Oh, wait a minute.
Yes, I did.
Yes.
I caught the back of my head on a heavy stockpot hanging up in the kitchen.
Why? A blow to the head can cause anosmia.
The filaments from the olfactory nerves are very fine.
They´re easily sheared.
Oh, right.
Right.
So, um So, how long will it take them to mend? I´m afraid they don´t.
What Do you mean this may be permanent? Oh, it´s very unlikely in your case.
Nonetheless, there´s a colleague of mine I´d like you to meet Nice chap called Franks.
He´s a neurologist.
A neurologist? You mean this is something to do with my brain? Good heavens.
Almost certainly not.
No, this is just for the sake of interest, you know.
Ah.
Fine.
The first time you speak to her, you call her "Your Majesty.
" But after that, you just say "ma´am.
" Ma´am.
She may shake hands.
But apart from that, don´t attempt any physical contact.
You´re kidding, aren´t you? I´m pretty sure this is Peter Watson´s wife, Valerie.
Find out what you can about a charity called Ploughshare and what she does for it.
Sir.
Talking of Peter Watson, sir Yeah, what about him? Well, actually it´s a bit awkward, sir.
Go on.
Fisher has been parked up outside the Watsons´ house every night this week.
And the word is, if it goes on for much longer, someone in traffic is gonna tell the chief constable about it.
Oh.
Okay.
- Ah, there you are, Henry.
- Philip.
Good to see you.
- Sit yourself down here.
- Right.
I´m excited, aren´t you? Here´s the bottle.
I decanted it two hours ago.
I think this is gonna be absolutely bloody marvelous.
Don´t you? You don´t want to eat anything with it, do you? No, no, no, no, no.
Let´s not sully the experience.
I say, we can have something afterwards, eh? Um, Philip, there´s something I wanted to say.
Ah.
Yes.
Uh, about Gary, I suppose.
Gary? I haven´t actually offered him a job yet, Henry.
Offer Gary a job? Well, we had a chat, and Gary said that he´d probably move on one of these days.
So I asked him to give me a ring anytime he wanted to talk.
Good God, Henry.
I wouldn´t poach your staff behind your back.
No, no, no, no, no.
I mean, it´s a big kitchen, a classic cuisine.
It would do him the world of good.
Well, nothing will happen without your blessing, Henry.
Okay.
Now, shall we? Oh, yes.
Wonderful color.
A Turner sunset, I think.
God, look at the legs on that! Ready for a noseful, Henry? Oh, yes.
A big, big wine.
Philip, I just wanted Hell! Punters.
He´ll just have to wait.
Well, here goes, Henry.
à bas la Bourgoisie! Mmm.
Mmm! Mmm.
Very rich fruit, very plummy.
I´m getting, um, black currants.
Mmm.
Henry, what´s the matter? Philip, I´ve completely lost my sense of smell and taste.
It´s all gone.
You can´t taste anything? Good God, Henry.
This is serious.
I´m sorry.
I have to go.
Please, Freddy.
You must be patient.
I´m sorry, Val, but I´m finding it very hard.
Not now! You do believe me, though, don´t you? You don´t think it´s some sort of silly fantasy? Of course I believe you, but I need more information.
I need to know when.
I need to know where.
I know, Freddy.
I´m trying.
It´s just that, well, he gets so suspicious.
I have to be careful, not just for the charity´s sake, but for our sake, as well.
I´ll get him, darling.
I promise you that.
And then we can start our new life together.
Now, then, shall we order? I´m sorry.
I haven´t got time to eat.
We´re having a dinner party this evening.
I´ll bet Fisher´s had you checking out Peter Watson and International Tyres.
How did you guess? Well, he seems to be interested in nothing else these days, and I think I know why.
- Oh, yes? - Mm.
It´s why I left Philip´s early today, because Fisher was there.
He was having dinner with Peter Watson´s wife, Valerie.
So? Well, they appear to be close.
When I say "close," he was practically sitting in her lap.
Freddy Fisher´s having an affair? Mm.
Think so.
He certainly seems to be having a personal vendetta - against Peter Watson.
- What on earth do you mean? Well, I mean he´s had me snooping ´round the premises.
He´s had Morton and Guthrie do a Breathalyzer on him, for God´s sake.
And now he´s got you ferreting around the accounts.
Well, presumably Watson´s some sort of suspect.
Uh, maybe.
What did you come up with, anyway? Not much.
The business is divided into lots of small companies.
It´s hard to keep track.
Is there any mention of a charity called Ploughshare? Yes.
Watson´s done quite a bit of business with Ploughshare recently.
Why? Well, Watson´s wife works for them.
Freddy Fisher must be out of his mind taking her to dinner in Barstock.
He´s bound to end up in serious trouble.
What do you care? Well, I´ve had my ups and downs with Mr.
Fisher.
Ups and downs? You´d be retired on a full pension now if it wasn´t for Freddy Fisher.
Mmm.
Ah, evening, Chef.
Hello, Gary.
This celery soup´s getting there.
Here.
Have a taste.
- Sorry.
- It´s okay.
Listen, just for this evening, you´re the chef, I´m the sous-chef.
What can I do for you? Well, you could prepare the vegetables.
Henderson brought some parsnips and carrots over.
I thought I we would do roast parsnips and carrots Vichy.
Sounds good.
You know, you´re really wasted here, aren´t you, Gary? I love it here.
You know that.
Yeah, um, I was talking to Philip earlier today.
He asked me if he could offer you a job.
He wants to offer me a job? Mm.
Well, I wouldn´t be interested, Chef.
Well, it´s a proper brigade he´s got.
You know, pastry chef, saucier, larder chef, you name it.
It´s French cuisine.
No pie and mash on his menu.
Like I said, Chef, I´m not interested.
Okay.
But if you did want to look into it, I don´t mind, okay? Pie in the Sky.
Yep, he´s here.
Okay.
I´ll tell him.
Message from Jane Morton.
"Fisher´s at it," whatever that means.
Perfect.
I´m sorry.
I´ll have to go.
- I can see you now.
- I haven´t got long.
He won´t let me out of his sight.
He´s going away tomorrow for two nights.
Where? I don´t know.
There must be a way of finding out.
We´ve already had a row because I´ve asked too many questions.
They´re having a dinner party.
Oh? I thought Mrs.
Watson had dinner at Philip´s restaurant.
You shouldn´t listen to tittle-tattle, Crabbe.
I was there, sir.
If I want to have dinner with an old friend, that´s my business.
Oh, yes.
An old friend whose husband just happens to be the target of some half-baked investigation.
I will not have you shouting the odds at me, Crabbe.
I´m not shouting the odds at you.
I´m trying to warn you, you fool! We´ve known each other for a long time, Crabbe.
That´s why I´m going to overlook that remark.
People are leaving.
May I? Thank you.
Oh, I think I recognize that man next to Watson.
Who is he? He works for Southern Freight Forwarding.
You know, where the Ploughshare tires were delivered.
Watson´s at it.
You knew it when you went to see him, didn´t you, Crabbe? The famous Crabbe nose, eh? Look, sir, if traffic spot this car here once more, the chief constable is gonna hear about it.
So can we please get out of here? Soon after I first met Val Mrs.
Watson She told me about the charity she worked for and the problems they were having.
What problems? A lot of Ploughshare aid wasn´t getting through.
Over half the tires, for example.
Naturally, people assume it´s the other end.
It´s the rebels.
It´s the army.
You name it.
But Mrs.
Watson thought differently.
Yeah.
She began to suspect the tires weren´t leaving the country in the first place.
Someone was stealing them this end, you mean? Her husband, to be precise.
Is she sure? Yes.
But she´s frightened of him.
He´s got a lot of friends.
She didn´t think anyone would believe her.
Until she met you.
That´s right.
Okay, so, the tires are sealed in containers at the depot.
Then they´re driven to Southern Freight Forwarding and then put onto the ship.
Now, we know security at the docks is far too tight for Watson to interfere with the containers there.
One way would be if Watson was bunging someone at Southern Freight.
The man you recognized this evening, Crabbe.
Oh.
Every so often, Watson disappears for a few days.
He never gives Val any warning, but she´s found out he´s going away tomorrow.
Do you think I could follow this up with Morton and Guthrie, sir? They want to do some proper police work.
I ask you as a favor.
Of course.
I appreciate your support.
She´s not coming back, you know.
She? My wife.
She´s staying in California.
We´re getting a divorce.
It´s not such a problem career-wise these days.
That´s very sad, Freddy.
Oh, I don´t think so.
Time for a fresh start and so on.
Anyway, it´s good to be among friends at such a difficult time.
Good night, Margaret.
Bye.
Bye, Henry.
Good night.
Well, what do you make of that? Did I catch a glimpse of a human being just then? When uptight men like Freddy Fisher fall, they fall hard.
Right.
When I say do something, do it! Right.
You hear?! Don´t go and do something else! Do it immediately! Do you hear me?! Am I getting through to you?! Right.
Get on with it! The deliveryman should have been here by now.
Gary! Welcome.
This way.
Tell him if we can´t have it in the next half an hour, we´ll go through a different supplier.
Here we are.
How are you? Busy? Oh, I´m not bad.
Thanks, Philip.
Good.
No.
Not for me, thanks.
- You sure? - Yeah, I don´t drink.
Well, neither do I, but this is wine, man.
Wine doesn´t count.
- You all right? - Yeah.
No, I´m fine.
Sure about this? Right.
Right.
The first thing I want to say, Gary, is that my kitchen is not a democracy.
I´m the boss.
Everything is done exactly as I want.
If it isn´t, there´s trouble.
Right? Right.
For example, I can see someone out there making a complete hash of boning a chicken.
Now, when you´ve gone I shall kick his backside very, very hard indeed.
And then I shall kick it again, even harder.
But I don´t need to tell you all this, do I, Gary? You´re a professional, for God´s sake.
What do you reckon, sir? We might as well get on with it, I suppose.
You know, we´re all gonna look very silly if Fisher´s wrong about this.
Your capacity for stating the obvious, Guthrie, is breathtaking.
Thank you, sir.
Carry on.
Police, Mr.
Watson.
May we have a word inside? Go on! Get him! Come on.
Charity begins at home, eh, Mr.
Watson? This is outrageous! All right, calm down, sir.
I recognize you.
And you.
You Breathalyzed me outside my own house.
Inspector Crabbe, this is harassment.
I haven´t done anything wrong.
That´s enough.
Sir? Mr.
Watson is coming with us.
All right, Guthrie.
Let him go.
How dare you treat me like this? Sir? Not now, Crabbe.
Remember what you said last night? What do you think this is The Boy Scouts? Go home, Crabbe.
Good job, Fisher.
Very good job.
Thank you, sir.
Can I mention something to you in total confidence? Of course, sir.
I´ll be retiring at the end of the year.
Surely not, sir.
Yes, time for me to move aside, let the younger generation have their turn.
What I wanted to say was, if you should apply for the job, you´ll be regarded as a very good candidate.
A very good candidate, indeed.
Thank you, sir.
There´s one cloud on the horizon.
Peter Watson´s solicitor is going to make a complaint about certain officers Breathalyzing his client without due cause.
See this doesn´t spoil things, will you? Certainly, sir.
You´ll want to come out of this smelling of roses, Fisher.
Right, sir.
May I say how very disappointed I was by last night? You can say, it, Crabbe, but it won´t do any good.
There´s something more important to discuss.
Peter Watson is making a complaint about some Breathalyzing incident.
I´m sorry.
I´m not with you.
We don´t want the case against Watson compromised because you allowed Morton and Guthrie to overstep the mark, do we? I don´t believe this.
You´re putting that down to me.
Nothing serious will come of it, Crabbe.
Slap-on-the-wrist time.
Oh, yes.
And I wonder what the Police Complaints Authority will make of your relationship with Mrs.
Watson.
Mrs.
Watson Mrs.
Watson is relocating to Africa after the trial.
Henceforth, she´s devoting herself to Ploughshare.
Well, well.
She really used you, didn´t she? I used her, Crabbe.
That´s all.
Time to be getting in position.
You look nice.
Thank you.
By the way, congratulations about last night.
Thank you.
I´m working on the press conference.
The charity angle is promising.
You know, the real victims of this crime are starving children in the Third World, blah, blah, blah.
Excellent.
Excellent.
Perhaps we should discuss this over a drink sometime.
That would be lovely.
What the hell are you doing here, Crabbe? I´ve just come to tell you I´m off.
What? Get away, man! Her car´s just ´round the corner! I´ve had enough, you see.
I´ll have you removed, Crabbe.
Don´t bother.
I´m going anyway.
I just thought I´d do you the courtesy of letting you know where you can shove your job.
Sir! Yes? Sir.
Yes? Are you all right, sir? Yes.
Why? Someone said you had a set-to with Fisher.
No, I wouldn´t say that.
I-I was just, uh Just what? You´re wearing a different perfume today.
It´s Givenchy.
I usually wear Chanel.
I can smell your perfume.
I can smell exhaust fumes.
I can smell the canteen.
I can smell the lemon.
Hello.
Pie in the Sky.
Hello, Philip.
Yes, I have made a decision about the job.
Watch.
Uh-oh.
Oh, wonderful! There we go.
Smells delicious.
Now Let´s see.
Mmm.
- Steak - Yeah.
kidney, onions, mushrooms, red wine, Worcester sauce, bay.
And there´s something else, isn´t there? Thyme.
Back on top form, Chef.
- Yeah! - Yes! I´d like to propose a toast.
To taste and smell.
To taste and smell.
Cheers.
By the way, Chef, about the job with Philip it isn´t gonna work out.
- Really? - Yeah.
Turns out it´s not my sort of place.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Well done, Henderson.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Cheers, Margaret.
Cheers, Henry.
Did I mention I packed in the job today?
Go back inside.
I´m gonna ask you to blow into this, please.
You see, Gary, the thing about garlic mayonnaise is you´ve got to have garlic in it.
I´ve put garlic in it! Well, not enough, obviously.
Now, you mustn´t be afraid of garlic, Gary.
This is a garlic-friendly kitchen.
If I put any more garlic in that, it´s gonna stand up and sing the Marseillaise.
Morning, everyone.
Nice day.
Oh! Garlic! See? Oh, right.
Great.
Fine.
Why not let Margaret choose the menus, then? What´s the special today, then? Deep-fried Mars bar, pizza garnish? Sounds good to me.
Chef.
Oh, what do you want? Me and Morton wanted a word, sir.
Unbelievable.
I can´t get five minutes to myself.
I can´t seem to do anything right these days.
He is very tetchy.
He´s been like this for weeks.
Maybe it´s that royal visit.
What royal visit? Oh.
To Barstock Police Station.
Oh, my God.
Don´t tell a soul.
It´s supposed to be top secret.
Peter Watson? Do you know him? No, it´s just that Fisher had asked me to run a certain Peter Watson through the computer.
Anyway, what happened, then? Well, the breath test was negative.
He hadn´t touched a drop all evening.
Fisher was furious.
You mean Fisher was there? Yes.
Well, the whole thing seemed a bit dodgy, so we thought you ought to know.
Yeah.
Well, you did the right thing.
I´ll have to try and see him today and find out what this is all about.
Give you a lift, sir? Yeah, no, thanks.
No.
You go on ahead.
There´s something I´ve got to attend to first.
I couldn´t find a decent claret on the wine list.
So I ordered a Côtes du Rhône.
Rather a departure for us, but I must say, I was pleasantly surprised.
Open.
- Say "ahh.
" - Ahh.
Thank you.
But can it stand up to duck? I rather think not.
As for Emma´s cotelettes d´Agneau, well, I could have done better myself at home.
Still, that´s Paris for you these days, I suppose.
So, the new nasal spray didn´t do much good? None whatever.
It´s, what, six weeks since you lost your sense of taste and smell? Six weeks, three days.
That was a bad cold you had.
The nasal passages were very inflamed.
Also, and I hate to say this, these things can diminish with age.
Diminish? I could taste and smell one day and not the next.
"Diminished" didn´t come into it.
Is, uh, everything all right at home, Henry? Well, if you really are worried about this, there´s a very good ear, nose, and throat man at Barstock Hospital called David Patterson.
I could drop him a line.
Thank you.
I´d appreciate that.
Cheer up, Henry.
Hardly life-threatening, is it? H.
M.
comes through the main entrance with the mayor.
The mayor introduces her to the chief constable.
You´ll be introduced third.
Third.
Well, it doesn´t matter because, look, when you´ve been introduced, you go straight through to the new computer wing, and then when they arrive for the unveiling, you´re right there, behind H.
M.
, in case the cord sticks or something.
I´m backup for the unveiling? - Yes.
- Oh.
That´s the photo opportunity, you see.
She pulls the cord.
Bingo.
The chief constable on one side, H.
M.
on the other, you just behind her.
No one else in shot.
And the others? Over there.
Over by the handicapped loo.
Siberia.
Jenny, there´s something I´ve been meaning to say to you.
Yes? Oh.
Sorry.
Yeah, that will all for now.
Thank you, Jenny.
About Morton and Guthrie, sir.
Mm.
Incredible fragrance.
This is an old English variety.
Sensual, yet somehow very English.
Crabbe, if it´s about the royal visit, I´ve told you lot what to do Stay in your office and try to look busy.
No, this is about asking Morton and Guthrie to go around Breathalyzing members of the public for no reason.
Watson was speeding, Crabbe.
Not according to Guthrie, sir.
Perhaps I should have mentioned it to you first.
The thing is, Crabbe, I´ve received certain information regarding Watson, but this information is inconclusive.
We must get the full picture without alerting Watson or putting my informant at risk.
We, sir? Watson is a tire wholesaler.
His depot is just off the ring road.
Find some pretext to visit there tomorrow.
- Check him out.
- Right.
And what exactly am I looking for? Anything and everything, Crabbe.
Use that famous nose of yours.
Ta-da! That smells fantastic.
Mm.
Doesn´t it? That´ll be me King Edwards.
No.
What is it? - Thyme? - Very good, Margaret.
Maybe I´m getting the hang of this after all.
It´s lamb boulangere.
You slice the potatoes, add lots of onion and thyme, season, cover with water, and stick it in the oven for a couple of hours.
Get a load of this, Crabbe.
Does this smell good, or what? I correctly identified the herb.
- Didn´t I, Gary? - That´s right.
She did.
Yeah, well, it looks all right.
Looks all right? Crabbe.
What do you want? It´s about this royal visit.
Me mum hasn´t been too well lately, but she´s mad about the royals, and I wondered whether you could, well, wangle her a spot with a good view.
It would cheer her up no end.
Henderson, if you want to carry on working in this kitchen, don´t talk about the royal visit, don´t talk about your mother.
In fact, don´t talk to me at all, all right? The rest of you will have to manage on your own this evening.
I´m not in the mood for cooking.
What have I done now? Not in the mood for cooking? I´ve never heard him say that before.
Well, I, for one, have had enough of this.
Henry.
What? You know very well what.
I went to the doctor today.
Why? What´s wrong? I´ve been to see him three times this month.
My God, Henry.
What are you trying to tell me? Do you remember that really bad cold I had about six weeks ago? What about it? Well, ever since then, I´ve I´ve I´ve completely lost my sense of taste and my sense of smell.
- Don´t ever do that to me again.
- What? I thought you were going to tell me it was something serious.
It is serious.
No, Henry, compared to what flashed through my mind 30 seconds ago, it is not serious! Went out just like a light.
Poor old thing.
Now I know why you´ve been so grumpy.
I´m sorry, Margaret.
Well, you should apologize to Gary.
He´s the one who´s been getting all the stick.
Well, I´ll do that tomorrow.
I really couldn´t face them down there just now.
I mean, lamb boulangere direct from the oven It´s one of my desert-island smells, it is.
Inspector Crabbe? That´s right.
- Peter Watson.
- How do you do? Your people must have got their wires crossed.
Oh.
Why´s that? The local crime-prevention officer was here a couple of weeks ago.
Ah, no, you see, I´m direct from force headquarters at Barstock.
- Ah! The top man.
- Well Well, I must say, it´s very reassuring.
Tell me, what´s Ploughshare? It´s the charity.
They´re buying a lot of tires from us at the moment.
Ah.
And where are all these going? Harwich, Rotterdam, and Dar es Salaam.
The Third World, Inspector That´s where they´re going.
And good luck to them.
Right.
I see my better half approaching.
Some sort of domestic crisis, no doubt.
Hello, darling.
This is Inspector Crabbe, come to check up on us.
My wife, Valerie.
- Pleased to meet you, Inspector.
- How do you do? Excuse us for a moment, would you? - Sure.
- Thank you.
Thank you for your help.
Who is it now? It keeps sticking.
You´re yanking.
A gentle tug should suffice.
She won´t want to yank, will she? Sir.
I´m backup for the unveiling, Crabbe.
Congratulations, sir.
Um, I´ve just been to Peter Watson´s tire depot.
Not here, Crabbe.
We´ll go to my office.
A gentle tug.
Well? Well, Watson, sir.
He runs a firm called International Tyres for the north Barstock industrial estate, and they specialize in industrial and agricultural tires.
I know all about that, Crabbe.
Tell me about Watson.
Well, what about him, sir? What did you make of him as a man? As a man? Yes, Crabbe.
As a man.
Well, I don´t know.
I mean, I only spoke to him for half an hour at the most.
Would you say he was a kind man? I really couldn´t say, sir.
It would be so much easier if you tell me what you´re after.
The full picture, Crabbe.
That´s what I´m after.
Margaret got much on at the moment? Margaret? Your wife, Crabbe.
I want her to do a job for me.
What sort of a job? An accountancy job.
What do you think? I need a civilian I can trust.
We´ll pay her out of the P.
D.
S.
budget.
Don´t you think you ought to tell me what this is all about? Are you happy, Crabbe? No, sir.
I mean in general.
So do I.
Life is there to be lived, Crabbe.
So they say.
Talk to Margaret.
That´ll be all.
Fisher wants me to do what? He wants to hire your amazing accountancy skills.
Good-oh.
Good-oh? Yes.
We could do with the money.
If I´m going to be working for the Old Bill, I´m going to charge top whack, make up for your measly salary.
Hm.
You know, Fisher´s behaving quite strangely these days.
Don´t you worry.
I can handle Freddy.
Hm.
Hm.
But he had to have six stitches.
- You´re joking.
- I´m not joking.
Oh, no.
Here he is, the man himself! Philip, what a pleasant surprise.
How are things? I´ve just been telling Gary.
Things are looking up.
We´ve been doing an extra 30 or 40 covers a week this month.
How about you? Well, we´ve been struggling along, haven´t we, Gary? Yeah, just about.
Listen, Henry, the reason I´m here is the Eagle has landed.
I´m sorry? I´ve tracked down a bottle of Château Oliver, ´61! Oh, now, Philip, really, you shouldn´t have bothered.
Come on.
After the Sauternes you produced on my birthday? I still dream about that wine.
Well, you see, the thing is, Philip, I´ve got a problem.
No ifs or buts, Henry.
Look, come to my place early Thursday evening, before we get busy, okay? Well, um Excellent.
I´ll see you then.
Bye, Gary.
Oh, and remember what I said.
Yeah, will do.
Ciao, Henry.
Um, bye-bye, Philip.
So, what did Philip have to say for himself, then? Oh, nothing.
We were just chatting.
Well, actually, I was asking his advice.
Oh, yes.
Well, the thing is, Chef, I´m not gonna stay forever, am I? I have to think about the future.
´Course you do.
So I was just asking Philip, if I was looking for a job, which I´m not, what sort of thing I should go for? That´s all.
Look, Gary, I know I´ve been very difficult to work with lately, but there is a reason.
It´s not that, Chef.
I´m very happy here.
It´s just, you know, one of these days Yeah, one of these days, you´re gonna get another job, and you´re gonna be very good at it.
Why? Because you´re a terrific chef.
So don´t worry.
I know you won´t be here forever.
This is Mr.
Highbury from Buckingham Palace.
He´s in charge of the arrangements, so give him all the cooperation he needs.
This isn´t bad, I suppose.
Everyone´s very excited about this great honor, so I want all officers to behave accordingly.
Have you got that, uh D.
I.
Crabbe, sir.
Yes.
Good.
Carry on.
These two look possible.
Mr.
Highbury is looking for suitable officers to meet H.
M.
Names? P.
C.
Jane Morton.
P.
C.
Ed Guthrie.
This one looks depressed.
No.
Serious.
He´s a serious young man with a serious job.
No, he´s right.
I am depressed.
Fresh young faces of today´s police force.
Perfect.
I´ll make sure you both get a lovely photo to show your parents.
Don´t bother.
Mine are Republicans.
Don´t answer back, Guthrie.
Just do as you´re told.
Thank you.
P.
D.
S.
Yes, sir.
Fisher.
He´s got a job for us.
Perfect.
It might be wheat.
Maybe you should try cutting out bread, sir.
Could be stress-related.
You could try aromatherapy.
Aromatherapy? He can´t smell anything, can he? Or meditation.
Meditation.
Yes.
What a good idea.
Why don´t you both shut up while I try that? Lorry coming out of the depot, sir.
That´s a Ploughshares container.
Follow that lorry, Guthrie.
International Tyres.
I know this place.
I´ve driven past it.
Well, there´s not much we can do except make a check at Companies House.
That might be instructive, mightn´t it? The rogues don´t disclose much.
And I assume this Watson person is a rogue if you´re checking up on him.
I don´t like the word "rogue.
" Rogues are likeable.
Rogues are amusing.
Peter Watson is neither.
Sorry.
I´ll choose my words more carefully in future.
Are you happy, Margaret? Generally speaking, yes.
And you settle for that, would you? Well, it´s all you can hope for, isn´t it? Being deliriously happy all the time would be pretty exhausting.
What exactly are we supposed to be doing, sir? I wish I could tell you, Guthrie.
There´s always acupuncture, of course.
Henry Crabbe, please.
You see, your taste buds are pretty crude.
They only respond to four basic flavors Sweet, sour, salt, and bitter.
It´s the olfactory nerves that allow us to enjoy the more subtle and refined flavors.
I´m going to pass a bottle of smelling salts under your nose.
If you could inhale through the nose as I do so Anything? No.
The tissue in your nasal passages seems fine, for what it´s worth.
For what it´s worth? The receptor cells are tiny and very vulnerable.
The cold you had may well have damaged them.
Tell me, did you get a bang on the head at the time of the loss? No, I don´t think Oh, wait a minute.
Yes, I did.
Yes.
I caught the back of my head on a heavy stockpot hanging up in the kitchen.
Why? A blow to the head can cause anosmia.
The filaments from the olfactory nerves are very fine.
They´re easily sheared.
Oh, right.
Right.
So, um So, how long will it take them to mend? I´m afraid they don´t.
What Do you mean this may be permanent? Oh, it´s very unlikely in your case.
Nonetheless, there´s a colleague of mine I´d like you to meet Nice chap called Franks.
He´s a neurologist.
A neurologist? You mean this is something to do with my brain? Good heavens.
Almost certainly not.
No, this is just for the sake of interest, you know.
Ah.
Fine.
The first time you speak to her, you call her "Your Majesty.
" But after that, you just say "ma´am.
" Ma´am.
She may shake hands.
But apart from that, don´t attempt any physical contact.
You´re kidding, aren´t you? I´m pretty sure this is Peter Watson´s wife, Valerie.
Find out what you can about a charity called Ploughshare and what she does for it.
Sir.
Talking of Peter Watson, sir Yeah, what about him? Well, actually it´s a bit awkward, sir.
Go on.
Fisher has been parked up outside the Watsons´ house every night this week.
And the word is, if it goes on for much longer, someone in traffic is gonna tell the chief constable about it.
Oh.
Okay.
- Ah, there you are, Henry.
- Philip.
Good to see you.
- Sit yourself down here.
- Right.
I´m excited, aren´t you? Here´s the bottle.
I decanted it two hours ago.
I think this is gonna be absolutely bloody marvelous.
Don´t you? You don´t want to eat anything with it, do you? No, no, no, no, no.
Let´s not sully the experience.
I say, we can have something afterwards, eh? Um, Philip, there´s something I wanted to say.
Ah.
Yes.
Uh, about Gary, I suppose.
Gary? I haven´t actually offered him a job yet, Henry.
Offer Gary a job? Well, we had a chat, and Gary said that he´d probably move on one of these days.
So I asked him to give me a ring anytime he wanted to talk.
Good God, Henry.
I wouldn´t poach your staff behind your back.
No, no, no, no, no.
I mean, it´s a big kitchen, a classic cuisine.
It would do him the world of good.
Well, nothing will happen without your blessing, Henry.
Okay.
Now, shall we? Oh, yes.
Wonderful color.
A Turner sunset, I think.
God, look at the legs on that! Ready for a noseful, Henry? Oh, yes.
A big, big wine.
Philip, I just wanted Hell! Punters.
He´ll just have to wait.
Well, here goes, Henry.
à bas la Bourgoisie! Mmm.
Mmm! Mmm.
Very rich fruit, very plummy.
I´m getting, um, black currants.
Mmm.
Henry, what´s the matter? Philip, I´ve completely lost my sense of smell and taste.
It´s all gone.
You can´t taste anything? Good God, Henry.
This is serious.
I´m sorry.
I have to go.
Please, Freddy.
You must be patient.
I´m sorry, Val, but I´m finding it very hard.
Not now! You do believe me, though, don´t you? You don´t think it´s some sort of silly fantasy? Of course I believe you, but I need more information.
I need to know when.
I need to know where.
I know, Freddy.
I´m trying.
It´s just that, well, he gets so suspicious.
I have to be careful, not just for the charity´s sake, but for our sake, as well.
I´ll get him, darling.
I promise you that.
And then we can start our new life together.
Now, then, shall we order? I´m sorry.
I haven´t got time to eat.
We´re having a dinner party this evening.
I´ll bet Fisher´s had you checking out Peter Watson and International Tyres.
How did you guess? Well, he seems to be interested in nothing else these days, and I think I know why.
- Oh, yes? - Mm.
It´s why I left Philip´s early today, because Fisher was there.
He was having dinner with Peter Watson´s wife, Valerie.
So? Well, they appear to be close.
When I say "close," he was practically sitting in her lap.
Freddy Fisher´s having an affair? Mm.
Think so.
He certainly seems to be having a personal vendetta - against Peter Watson.
- What on earth do you mean? Well, I mean he´s had me snooping ´round the premises.
He´s had Morton and Guthrie do a Breathalyzer on him, for God´s sake.
And now he´s got you ferreting around the accounts.
Well, presumably Watson´s some sort of suspect.
Uh, maybe.
What did you come up with, anyway? Not much.
The business is divided into lots of small companies.
It´s hard to keep track.
Is there any mention of a charity called Ploughshare? Yes.
Watson´s done quite a bit of business with Ploughshare recently.
Why? Well, Watson´s wife works for them.
Freddy Fisher must be out of his mind taking her to dinner in Barstock.
He´s bound to end up in serious trouble.
What do you care? Well, I´ve had my ups and downs with Mr.
Fisher.
Ups and downs? You´d be retired on a full pension now if it wasn´t for Freddy Fisher.
Mmm.
Ah, evening, Chef.
Hello, Gary.
This celery soup´s getting there.
Here.
Have a taste.
- Sorry.
- It´s okay.
Listen, just for this evening, you´re the chef, I´m the sous-chef.
What can I do for you? Well, you could prepare the vegetables.
Henderson brought some parsnips and carrots over.
I thought I we would do roast parsnips and carrots Vichy.
Sounds good.
You know, you´re really wasted here, aren´t you, Gary? I love it here.
You know that.
Yeah, um, I was talking to Philip earlier today.
He asked me if he could offer you a job.
He wants to offer me a job? Mm.
Well, I wouldn´t be interested, Chef.
Well, it´s a proper brigade he´s got.
You know, pastry chef, saucier, larder chef, you name it.
It´s French cuisine.
No pie and mash on his menu.
Like I said, Chef, I´m not interested.
Okay.
But if you did want to look into it, I don´t mind, okay? Pie in the Sky.
Yep, he´s here.
Okay.
I´ll tell him.
Message from Jane Morton.
"Fisher´s at it," whatever that means.
Perfect.
I´m sorry.
I´ll have to go.
- I can see you now.
- I haven´t got long.
He won´t let me out of his sight.
He´s going away tomorrow for two nights.
Where? I don´t know.
There must be a way of finding out.
We´ve already had a row because I´ve asked too many questions.
They´re having a dinner party.
Oh? I thought Mrs.
Watson had dinner at Philip´s restaurant.
You shouldn´t listen to tittle-tattle, Crabbe.
I was there, sir.
If I want to have dinner with an old friend, that´s my business.
Oh, yes.
An old friend whose husband just happens to be the target of some half-baked investigation.
I will not have you shouting the odds at me, Crabbe.
I´m not shouting the odds at you.
I´m trying to warn you, you fool! We´ve known each other for a long time, Crabbe.
That´s why I´m going to overlook that remark.
People are leaving.
May I? Thank you.
Oh, I think I recognize that man next to Watson.
Who is he? He works for Southern Freight Forwarding.
You know, where the Ploughshare tires were delivered.
Watson´s at it.
You knew it when you went to see him, didn´t you, Crabbe? The famous Crabbe nose, eh? Look, sir, if traffic spot this car here once more, the chief constable is gonna hear about it.
So can we please get out of here? Soon after I first met Val Mrs.
Watson She told me about the charity she worked for and the problems they were having.
What problems? A lot of Ploughshare aid wasn´t getting through.
Over half the tires, for example.
Naturally, people assume it´s the other end.
It´s the rebels.
It´s the army.
You name it.
But Mrs.
Watson thought differently.
Yeah.
She began to suspect the tires weren´t leaving the country in the first place.
Someone was stealing them this end, you mean? Her husband, to be precise.
Is she sure? Yes.
But she´s frightened of him.
He´s got a lot of friends.
She didn´t think anyone would believe her.
Until she met you.
That´s right.
Okay, so, the tires are sealed in containers at the depot.
Then they´re driven to Southern Freight Forwarding and then put onto the ship.
Now, we know security at the docks is far too tight for Watson to interfere with the containers there.
One way would be if Watson was bunging someone at Southern Freight.
The man you recognized this evening, Crabbe.
Oh.
Every so often, Watson disappears for a few days.
He never gives Val any warning, but she´s found out he´s going away tomorrow.
Do you think I could follow this up with Morton and Guthrie, sir? They want to do some proper police work.
I ask you as a favor.
Of course.
I appreciate your support.
She´s not coming back, you know.
She? My wife.
She´s staying in California.
We´re getting a divorce.
It´s not such a problem career-wise these days.
That´s very sad, Freddy.
Oh, I don´t think so.
Time for a fresh start and so on.
Anyway, it´s good to be among friends at such a difficult time.
Good night, Margaret.
Bye.
Bye, Henry.
Good night.
Well, what do you make of that? Did I catch a glimpse of a human being just then? When uptight men like Freddy Fisher fall, they fall hard.
Right.
When I say do something, do it! Right.
You hear?! Don´t go and do something else! Do it immediately! Do you hear me?! Am I getting through to you?! Right.
Get on with it! The deliveryman should have been here by now.
Gary! Welcome.
This way.
Tell him if we can´t have it in the next half an hour, we´ll go through a different supplier.
Here we are.
How are you? Busy? Oh, I´m not bad.
Thanks, Philip.
Good.
No.
Not for me, thanks.
- You sure? - Yeah, I don´t drink.
Well, neither do I, but this is wine, man.
Wine doesn´t count.
- You all right? - Yeah.
No, I´m fine.
Sure about this? Right.
Right.
The first thing I want to say, Gary, is that my kitchen is not a democracy.
I´m the boss.
Everything is done exactly as I want.
If it isn´t, there´s trouble.
Right? Right.
For example, I can see someone out there making a complete hash of boning a chicken.
Now, when you´ve gone I shall kick his backside very, very hard indeed.
And then I shall kick it again, even harder.
But I don´t need to tell you all this, do I, Gary? You´re a professional, for God´s sake.
What do you reckon, sir? We might as well get on with it, I suppose.
You know, we´re all gonna look very silly if Fisher´s wrong about this.
Your capacity for stating the obvious, Guthrie, is breathtaking.
Thank you, sir.
Carry on.
Police, Mr.
Watson.
May we have a word inside? Go on! Get him! Come on.
Charity begins at home, eh, Mr.
Watson? This is outrageous! All right, calm down, sir.
I recognize you.
And you.
You Breathalyzed me outside my own house.
Inspector Crabbe, this is harassment.
I haven´t done anything wrong.
That´s enough.
Sir? Mr.
Watson is coming with us.
All right, Guthrie.
Let him go.
How dare you treat me like this? Sir? Not now, Crabbe.
Remember what you said last night? What do you think this is The Boy Scouts? Go home, Crabbe.
Good job, Fisher.
Very good job.
Thank you, sir.
Can I mention something to you in total confidence? Of course, sir.
I´ll be retiring at the end of the year.
Surely not, sir.
Yes, time for me to move aside, let the younger generation have their turn.
What I wanted to say was, if you should apply for the job, you´ll be regarded as a very good candidate.
A very good candidate, indeed.
Thank you, sir.
There´s one cloud on the horizon.
Peter Watson´s solicitor is going to make a complaint about certain officers Breathalyzing his client without due cause.
See this doesn´t spoil things, will you? Certainly, sir.
You´ll want to come out of this smelling of roses, Fisher.
Right, sir.
May I say how very disappointed I was by last night? You can say, it, Crabbe, but it won´t do any good.
There´s something more important to discuss.
Peter Watson is making a complaint about some Breathalyzing incident.
I´m sorry.
I´m not with you.
We don´t want the case against Watson compromised because you allowed Morton and Guthrie to overstep the mark, do we? I don´t believe this.
You´re putting that down to me.
Nothing serious will come of it, Crabbe.
Slap-on-the-wrist time.
Oh, yes.
And I wonder what the Police Complaints Authority will make of your relationship with Mrs.
Watson.
Mrs.
Watson Mrs.
Watson is relocating to Africa after the trial.
Henceforth, she´s devoting herself to Ploughshare.
Well, well.
She really used you, didn´t she? I used her, Crabbe.
That´s all.
Time to be getting in position.
You look nice.
Thank you.
By the way, congratulations about last night.
Thank you.
I´m working on the press conference.
The charity angle is promising.
You know, the real victims of this crime are starving children in the Third World, blah, blah, blah.
Excellent.
Excellent.
Perhaps we should discuss this over a drink sometime.
That would be lovely.
What the hell are you doing here, Crabbe? I´ve just come to tell you I´m off.
What? Get away, man! Her car´s just ´round the corner! I´ve had enough, you see.
I´ll have you removed, Crabbe.
Don´t bother.
I´m going anyway.
I just thought I´d do you the courtesy of letting you know where you can shove your job.
Sir! Yes? Sir.
Yes? Are you all right, sir? Yes.
Why? Someone said you had a set-to with Fisher.
No, I wouldn´t say that.
I-I was just, uh Just what? You´re wearing a different perfume today.
It´s Givenchy.
I usually wear Chanel.
I can smell your perfume.
I can smell exhaust fumes.
I can smell the canteen.
I can smell the lemon.
Hello.
Pie in the Sky.
Hello, Philip.
Yes, I have made a decision about the job.
Watch.
Uh-oh.
Oh, wonderful! There we go.
Smells delicious.
Now Let´s see.
Mmm.
- Steak - Yeah.
kidney, onions, mushrooms, red wine, Worcester sauce, bay.
And there´s something else, isn´t there? Thyme.
Back on top form, Chef.
- Yeah! - Yes! I´d like to propose a toast.
To taste and smell.
To taste and smell.
Cheers.
By the way, Chef, about the job with Philip it isn´t gonna work out.
- Really? - Yeah.
Turns out it´s not my sort of place.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Well done, Henderson.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Cheers, Margaret.
Cheers, Henry.
Did I mention I packed in the job today?