Pinky and the Brain (1995) s01e04 Episode Script
Pinky & The Fog/Where No Mouse Has Gone Before/Cheese Roll Call
JEEZ, BRAIN, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TONIGHT? THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, PINKY-- TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN YES, PINKY AND THE BRAIN ONE IS A GENIUS THE OTHER'S INSANE THEY'RE LABORATORY MICE THEIR GENES HAVE BEEN SPLICED THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN BEFORE EACH NIGHT IS DONE THEIR PLAN WILL BE UNFURLED BY THE DAWNING OF THE SUN THEY'LL TAKE OVER THE WORLD THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN YES, PINKY AND THE BRAIN THEIR TWILIGHT CAMPAIGN IS EASY TO EXPLAIN TO PROVE THEIR MOUSEY WORTH THEY'LL OVERTHROW THE EARTH THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN NARF! CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
AT LAST, PROFESSOR MIFUNE, YOU HAVE PERFECTED THE PROCESS OF SHRINKING ELECTRONIC DEVICES.
SO WE CAN SELL THEM TO AMERICANS FOR LOTS OF MONEY.
YES, SHIMURA.
NOW I SAY TO YOU, MINIATURIZATION WILL BE VERY BIG! HA HA! HA! HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! FLASH! RUMORED SIGHTINGS OF LEGENDARY PREHISTORIC MONSTER GOLLYZILLA CAUSE THOUSANDS TO FLEE FOR THEIR LIVES IN NORTHERN JAPAN.
[TELEPHONE RINGS.]
YES? YES.
VERY WELL.
THAT WAS THE EMPEROR.
HE WANTS YOUR SCIENTIFIC OPINION ON GOLLYZILLA.
GOLLYZILLA! COME.
THERE IS NO TIME TO LOSE! NARF! BRAIN, LET US GO AND SEE GOLLYZILLA.
WE CAN WATCH EXCITEDLY AS HE CRUSHES BUILDINGS, AND THEN FLEE IN TERROR.
SNAP OUT OF IT, PINKY.
OH! THANKS, BRAIN.
THIS SCIENTIFIC EQUIPMENT WILL BE INVALUABLE FOR MY PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
YOU MEAN, YOU'RE GOING TO SHRINK ELECTRONICS SO ONLY MICE WILL BE ABLE TO OPERATE THEM? DON'T BE ABSURD, PINKY.
THERE'S NO FUTURE IN MINIATURIZATION.
IT'S BIG THINGS THAT STRIKE FEAR INTO THE HEARTS OF HUMANS, LIKE THAT RIDICULOUS LEGEND OF GOLLYZILLA-- MYTHICAL FOLLY THAT DIRECTIONLESS HUMANS HANG ON.
ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING? I THINK SO, BRAIN.
BUT I DON'T THINK KAYE BALLARD'S IN THE UNION.
[BRAIN.]
I WILL ALTER THIS EQUIPMENT, AND ENLARGE MYSELF TO BECOME A 400-FOOT-TALL MOUSE, WHO'LL SAVE THE WORLD FROM GOLLYZILLA.
BUTYOU JUST SAID THERE WAS NO SUCH THING AS GOLLYZILLA, BRAIN.
THERE IS NOW, PINKY-- OR SHOULD I SAY PINKZILLA? YES, I SEE.
THERE! I'VE REVERSED THE SPECIFICATIONS OF THE RAY.
ARE YOU READY, PINKY? TA-DA! QUICK! WHAT DO YOU THINK, BRAIN? PRETTY SCARY, EH? YES, PINKY.
TERRIFYING.
STAND BY.
AAAHH! [PTOOEY.]
NARF! WHERE ARE YOU, BRAIN? I CAN'T SEE YOU.
I'M DOWN-- OH--OH, WAIT A SEC, BRAIN.
I'VE GOT SOME GUM ON MY SHOE.
APPARENTLY YOUR I.
Q.
DIDN'T GROW ALONG WITH YOUR SHOE SIZE, PINKY.
NOW, GO ON YOUR RAMPAGE, PINKZILLA, AND SHOW NO MERCY! [THUD.]
[THUD.]
NARF! POIT! I AM PINKZILLA, KING OF THE MONSTERS! RAARGH! IN 10 MINUTES, I WILL ARRIVE ON THE SCENE AND SAVE TOKYO FROM THE TERROR OF PINKZILLA! RAARGH! YES, I SEE.
I LOVE YOU, FUMIKO.
AND I LOVE YOU, HERSCHEL.
[THUD.]
AAAHH! GOLLYZILLA! HELLO! I'M ON A RAMPAGE! NARF! SCAMPER AWAY IN TERROR NOW.
GO ON! BOO! HA HA HA! AAAHH! AAAHH! AAAHH! AAAHH! AAH! AAH! GOLLYZILLA! WE MUST RUN FOR OUR LIVES.
[PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
POIT! OH, I CAN'T SEE THROUGH THIS THING.
OH! OH, NO! THE GIANT MONSTER IS MOLTING! HUH! AAH! EGAD! I'M ALL A-TANGLE.
NARF! WHOA! YES, I SEE.
NOW TO MAKE MYSELF THE LARGEST MOUSE ON EARTH AND HERO OF THE PLANET.
CALL ME BRAINODO! [LOUD FOOTSTEPS.]
PEOPLE OF TOKYO, DO NOT FEAR.
I, BRAINODO, HAVE COME TO SAVE YOU.
AAH! AAH! AAH! IT IS ANOTHER GIANT MONSTER, EVEN MORE UGLY THAN GOLLYZILLA! ACTUALLY, I AM AN ARTIFICIALLY ENLARGED LAB MOUSE HERE TO SAVE YOU.
YOU MAY THANK ME LATER BY MAKING ME YOUR LEADER.
[GASPS.]
UNLESS THAT DOESN'T FIT INTO YOUR PLANS.
WHERE IS PINKY? HOW CAN I SAVE THE CITY FROM GOLLYZILLA WITH NO GOLLYZILLA? AAH! AAH! AAH! RARRR! [SNORTS.]
RARRR! [SNORTS.]
RARRR! PINKY! [MUFFLED GROWLS.]
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? NEVER MIND.
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU IN THAT STUPID COSTUME.
MAKE THIS BATTLE LOOK REALISTIC, PINKY.
EVERYTHING DEPENDS ON IT.
TAKETHAT, HIDEOUS BEAST! [COUGH COUGH.]
OOH! AHH.
OOH.
AHH.
EEE! AHH.
NOW YOU'VE GOTTEN ME MAD, PINKY.
UM, EXCUSE ME, BRAIN.
GO AWAY NOW, PINKY.
CAN'T YOU SEE I'M FIGHTING WITH PINKY? NARF! RIGHT.
OH, NO.
WAIT.
HOW CAN YOU BE FIGHTING WITH ME OVER THERE IF I'M STANDING OVER HERE? IT'S A VERY SIMPLE PRINCIPLE, PINKY.
IT'S BECAUSE GRR! THAT IS THE REAL GOLLYZILLA.
RARRR! AAH! RARRR! AAH! AAH! YES, I-- AAH! AAH! AAH! GRR! RARRR! GRR! THE FAT GUY IN THE SUIT IS SURPRISINGLY AGILE.
UHH! AAH! AAH! [PINKY.]
TOO BAD WE'RE NOT GIANT ANYMORE, BRAIN.
WE ARE STILL GIANT, PINKY.
UNFORTUNATELY, SO IS EVERYTHING ELSE.
OUR RELATIVE SMALLNESS REMAINS, BUT ON THIS WE SHOULD NOT DWELL.
FOR WE MUST PLAN FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.
WHAT ARE THE THREE OF US GOING TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT, BRAIN? THREE OF US? HMM.
STILL THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, PINKY-- TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! YES.
YES, I SEE.
THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN [MUTTERING.]
CORE, MATHEMATICAL ESSENCE.
O.
K.
, WHERE IS THAT THING? HMM.
AND ENTERING IN FACTORING INHMM.
[MUTTERING.]
NUMERICAL EQUIVALENT THE PROBLEM THERE AHH! PINKY.
PINKY! WHOA! NARF! WHAT WERE YOU DOING UP THERE, PINKY? OH, I WAS HAVING A DEVIL OF A TIME CLEANING THE CHIMNEY, BRAIN.
WE DON'T HAVE A CHIMNEY.
OH, WELL, THERE YOU ARE, THEN.
NO, PINKY.
THERE YOU ARE.
I AM ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE NEAR THAT VICINITY.
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT, PINKY, WHY IT IS THAT WE HAVEN'T YET SUCCEEDED IN TAKING OVER THE WORLD? OH, I KNOW WHY, BRAIN-- GREMLINS.
LITTLE SPRINKLY SPRITES THAT CONFUSE US AND MIX US UP, ALWAYS TWIDDLING THEIR LITTLE FINGERS IN OUR EARS.
GRRRR! AN INTERESTING THEORY, BUT I'VE REVIEWED OUR PAST EFFORTS, PINKY, TURNING THE SITUATIONS INTO NUMBERS IN AN EFFORT TO LOCATE THE EXACT PROBLEM.
OH.
WELL, THAT SOUNDS VERY, UM NARF! YES, I'M SURE IT DOES.
I'VE PLOTTED THE NUMBERS AND THE RESULT IS QUITE INTERESTING.
EGAD, BRAIN! THAT LOOKS LIKE ME, BUT FLAT! IT IS YOU, PINKY.
MY CALCULATIONS SHOW THAT YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
PINKY? YES.
PINKY.
SCIENTIFICALLY SPEAKING, IT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE A SPAZZY BEETLE-HEADED DUFUS WITH THE INTELLECT OF A MULE HOOF THAT I HAVE YET TO CONQUER THE WORLD! OH, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET RID OF ME, ARE YOU, BRAIN? I MEAN, YOU, WORKING AS A SINGLE? LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO JERRY LEWIS AFTER HE SPLIT WITH DEAN.
ALL THAT STUFF IN YOUR HAIR.
POINT TAKEN.
BUT FEAR NOT, I HAVE ANOTHER PLAN.
PINKY, I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU SMART.
II DON'T UNDERSTAND, BRAIN.
EXACTLY.
BUT YOU WILL, MY FRIEND YOU WILL.
EGAD, BRAIN! WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY JUST MAKE THEMSELVES REALLY SMART? I MEAN, THIS ALL SEEMS SO SIMPLE.
LIKE ALL GREAT THINGS, PINKY, THE IDEA IS SIMPLE, BUT THE EXECUTION-- OH, THERE LIES THE DIFFICULTY.
THERE LIES THE GENIUS.
TAKING A LITTLE NAP, IS HE? PINKY, OPERATING THIS MACHINE REQUIRES CALCULATIONS ON THE FLY, SPLIT-SECOND DECISIONS, HUGE AMOUNTS OF DATA, INCREDIBLE MENTAL ABILITIES, AND PRECISE TIMING.
IN OTHER WORDS-- I COULDN'T DO IT.
NO.
WHAA! HA HA HA! HEE HEE HA HA! HA HA HA! HA HA! HMM47 AUGHT 6.
FIBONACCI "N" MINUS ONE COMING, COMING NOW! PINKY? HA HA! HA HA HA! WHOO! THAT WAS FUN, BRAIN.
HA HA HA! NARF! OOH, I'M ALL TINGLY.
FUN, PERHAPS, BUT OBVIOUSLY NOT SUCCESSFUL.
NO, NO, NO.
I THINK IT WAS.
AT FIRST IT SEEMED LIKE THE FOLDED DIPOLE WASN'T WORKING AS YOUR CENTER-FED HORIZONTALLY MOUNTED CONDUCTOR, BUT FREQUENCIES BELOW 30 MEGAHERTZ-- LOUD AND CLEAR! AND I MUST SAY, BRAIN, THE PEAK VALUE WAVE SHAPE OF THE IMPULSE VOLTAGE? GLORIOUS! NARF! I MEAN, HITTING THAT MAXIMUM VALUE WITHOUT APPRECIABLE SUPERIMPOSED OSCILLATIONS-- EGAD, BRAIN! BRILLIANT! HA HA HA! YES! HERE IS TONIGHT'S PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINATION, PINKY.
I'M CURIOUS AS TO YOUR OPINION.
RIGHT-O, BRAIN.
NARF! I WILL POSE AS JIMMY HOFFA, BACK FROM VACATION.
LABOR LEADERS WILL BOW BEFORE ME AND HELP ME UTILIZE THE GIANT INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX TO BUILD THIS-- THE FORCED VERTO-CONVECTOR.
IT WILL CREATE MILLIONS OF STEAMING, TINY GEYSERS THAT WILL ACTUALLY LIFT PEOPLE SEVERAL INCHES OFF THE GROUND, IMMOBILIZING THEM.
EGAD, BRAIN! IT'S LIKE GIANT AIR HOCKEY.
BRILLIANT! OH, WAIT.
NO, NO, NO.
YES, PINKY? WELL, THE COEFFICIENT VALUES OF YOUR FOURIERS-- I MEAN, THIS SHOULD BE SINE, NOT COSINE.
POIT.
KIND OF FLIPS THE WHOLE THING AROUND.
WON'T WORK.
PINKYTHAT'S RIGHT.
ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING? YES, I AM.
THIS IS FANTASTIC.
DO YOU SEE? YOU'VE SAVED US AN ENTIRE EVENING.
TREMENDOUS! FORGET THAT PLAN.
LOOK AT THIS ONE COLLEAGUE.
OH, BRAIN! HA HA! POIT! WE WILL PROGRAM A COMPUTER TO GENERATE A FANTASTICALLY POPULAR ROMANCE NOVEL.
OH, LOVELY! IT WILL CONTAIN A HYPNO-PHONETIC SENTENCE SO LONG AND SO CONFUSING, THE READER WILL BE FORCED TO REREAD IT ENDLESSLY OUT LOUD.
AND THE FREQUENCIES OF THOSE SOUNDS WILL HYPNOTIZE ALL AROUND THEM, PRIMED FOR MY SUGGESTION THAT I RULE THE WORLD! ZOUNDS! ANOTHER GOOD ONE, BRAIN! OH, WAIT.
NO, NO.
UM THE FREQUENCY NEEDS TO BE AN EXACT INTEGRAL MULTIPLE OF THE INPUT, DOESN'T IT? OR, UM, IT WILL BE ALL WOBBLE-WOBBLE.
NOT HYPNOTIC AT ALL.
NOPE, WON'T WORK.
YES.
HMM.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
TOO BAD.
[BRAIN.]
WELL, HERE'S ANOTHER.
BY CONVERTING OUR CAGE INTO A NUCLEAR REACTOR, WE CAN PRODUCE ENOUGH ENERGY-- UH-UH.
YOUR MIGRATION AREA IS TINY, BRAIN.
THE NEUTRON WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SLOW DOWN FROM FISSION TO THERMAL IN HERE.
PLEASE, PINKY, LET ME FINISH.
I MEAN, IT'S GOT TO BE AT LEAST 1/6 OF THE MEAN SQUARE DISTANCE BETWEEN-- PLEASE STOP! BUT, BRAIN-- PINKY! IT SEEMS TO ME, BRAIN, THAT IT'S NOT MY FAULT AT ALL THAT THESE PLANS HAVEN'T WORKED.
WELL, OF COURSE IT IS.
LOOK! I FIGURED IT OUT MYSELF.
THE NUMBERS DON'T LIE.
HMM ACTUALLY, THERE SEEMS TO BE A LITTLE BOO-BOO RIGHT HERE.
OH, HERE, TOO.
AND HERE.
OH, YES.
LOTS OF ERRORS.
STOP IT, PINKY! STOP! THESETHIS IT'S PREPOSTEROUS WHAT YOU'RE SAYING! IT'S--IT'S RIDICULOUS! IT'S ABSURD! BUT--BUT, BRAIN.
JUST GO.
JUST MOVE AWAY FROM ME.
GO! BUT NARF.
NO.
NO! IT IS ME.
OH, NO.
OH! NO NO UH NO! HE'S EVEN SMARTER THAN I! SMARTER! ACCEPTING MY OWN ERRORS.
THE TEAM NEEDS BALANCE.
BALANCEYES.
THEREFORE, TO SUCCESSFULLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD, A SACRIFICE MUST BE MADE.
ONE OF US MUST BE AN IMBECILE.
I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN IT WAS, "NO, PINKY," THIS, BOP ON THE HEAD.
"NO, PINKY," THAT, BOP ON THE HEAD.
BUT NOWEGAD! BEING A SMARTY IS NO FUN.
BRAIN DOESN'T LIKE ME.
I MEAN, WE HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD ONCE TONIGHT.
I'M SMART ENOUGH NOW.
I COULD DO IT! FIBONACCI "N" PLUS ONE COMING.
NARF! COMING [WHISTLE BLOWS.]
PINKY.
OH, PINK--OOF! HA HA! PINKY, LOOK AT ME! I'M A NINNY, A WOODEN-HEADED DUM-DUM.
DUH! DUH! DUH! DUH! NOT A SMART THOUGHT IN MY WHOLE EMPTY HEAD.
NARF! NARF TO THE WORLD.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TONIGHT, PINKY? POIT! I SAY, POIT! PINKY? [MACHINE TURNS ON.]
HA HA HA! HA HA HA! IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK! BRAIN, I FIXED IT.
I'M A NITWIT! HA HA! HURRAH! I'VE FIXED IT, AS WELL, PINKY.
I'M AS DENSE AS A TREE STUMP.
YOU MEAN YES.
WELL, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO MAKE YOU SMART AGAIN, WON'T WE? WE CAN'T, PINKY.
WE'RE BOTH TOO STUPID TO OPERATE THE MACHINE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TONIGHT, BRAIN? SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, PINKY.
WHAT'S THAT? I HAVE NO IDEA.
POIT.
NARF.
THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN [PINKY.]
AND NOW, THE PARTS OF THE BRAIN, PERFORMED BY THE BRAIN! YES.
NEOCORTEX, FRONTAL LOBE BRAINSTEM, BRAINSTEM HIPPOCAMPUS, NEURAL NODE RIGHT HEMISPHERE PONS AND CORTEX VISUAL BRAINSTEM, BRAINSTEM SYLVIAN FISSURE, PINEAL LEFT HEMISPHERE CEREBELLUM, LEFT CEREBELLUM, RIGHT SYNAPSE, HYPOTHALAMUS STRIATUM, DENDRITE AXON FIBERS MATTER GRAY BRAINSTEM, BRAINSTEM CENTRAL TEGMENTAL PATHWAY TEMPORAL LOBE WHITE CORE MATTER, FOREBRAIN, SKULL BRAINSTEM, BRAINSTEM CENTRAL FISSURE, CORD SPINAL PARIETAL PIA MATER, MENINGEAL VEIN MEDULLA OBLONGATA AND LOBE LIMBIC MICROELECTRODES NARF! THE BRAIN! THAT OUGHT TO KEEP THE LITTLE SQUIRTS HAPPY.
YES! CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN YES, PINKY AND THE BRAIN ONE IS A GENIUS THE OTHER'S INSANE THEY'RE LABORATORY MICE THEIR GENES HAVE BEEN SPLICED THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN BEFORE EACH NIGHT IS DONE THEIR PLAN WILL BE UNFURLED BY THE DAWNING OF THE SUN THEY'LL TAKE OVER THE WORLD THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN YES, PINKY AND THE BRAIN THEIR TWILIGHT CAMPAIGN IS EASY TO EXPLAIN TO PROVE THEIR MOUSEY WORTH THEY'LL OVERTHROW THE EARTH THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN NARF! CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
AT LAST, PROFESSOR MIFUNE, YOU HAVE PERFECTED THE PROCESS OF SHRINKING ELECTRONIC DEVICES.
SO WE CAN SELL THEM TO AMERICANS FOR LOTS OF MONEY.
YES, SHIMURA.
NOW I SAY TO YOU, MINIATURIZATION WILL BE VERY BIG! HA HA! HA! HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! FLASH! RUMORED SIGHTINGS OF LEGENDARY PREHISTORIC MONSTER GOLLYZILLA CAUSE THOUSANDS TO FLEE FOR THEIR LIVES IN NORTHERN JAPAN.
[TELEPHONE RINGS.]
YES? YES.
VERY WELL.
THAT WAS THE EMPEROR.
HE WANTS YOUR SCIENTIFIC OPINION ON GOLLYZILLA.
GOLLYZILLA! COME.
THERE IS NO TIME TO LOSE! NARF! BRAIN, LET US GO AND SEE GOLLYZILLA.
WE CAN WATCH EXCITEDLY AS HE CRUSHES BUILDINGS, AND THEN FLEE IN TERROR.
SNAP OUT OF IT, PINKY.
OH! THANKS, BRAIN.
THIS SCIENTIFIC EQUIPMENT WILL BE INVALUABLE FOR MY PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
YOU MEAN, YOU'RE GOING TO SHRINK ELECTRONICS SO ONLY MICE WILL BE ABLE TO OPERATE THEM? DON'T BE ABSURD, PINKY.
THERE'S NO FUTURE IN MINIATURIZATION.
IT'S BIG THINGS THAT STRIKE FEAR INTO THE HEARTS OF HUMANS, LIKE THAT RIDICULOUS LEGEND OF GOLLYZILLA-- MYTHICAL FOLLY THAT DIRECTIONLESS HUMANS HANG ON.
ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING? I THINK SO, BRAIN.
BUT I DON'T THINK KAYE BALLARD'S IN THE UNION.
[BRAIN.]
I WILL ALTER THIS EQUIPMENT, AND ENLARGE MYSELF TO BECOME A 400-FOOT-TALL MOUSE, WHO'LL SAVE THE WORLD FROM GOLLYZILLA.
BUTYOU JUST SAID THERE WAS NO SUCH THING AS GOLLYZILLA, BRAIN.
THERE IS NOW, PINKY-- OR SHOULD I SAY PINKZILLA? YES, I SEE.
THERE! I'VE REVERSED THE SPECIFICATIONS OF THE RAY.
ARE YOU READY, PINKY? TA-DA! QUICK! WHAT DO YOU THINK, BRAIN? PRETTY SCARY, EH? YES, PINKY.
TERRIFYING.
STAND BY.
AAAHH! [PTOOEY.]
NARF! WHERE ARE YOU, BRAIN? I CAN'T SEE YOU.
I'M DOWN-- OH--OH, WAIT A SEC, BRAIN.
I'VE GOT SOME GUM ON MY SHOE.
APPARENTLY YOUR I.
Q.
DIDN'T GROW ALONG WITH YOUR SHOE SIZE, PINKY.
NOW, GO ON YOUR RAMPAGE, PINKZILLA, AND SHOW NO MERCY! [THUD.]
[THUD.]
NARF! POIT! I AM PINKZILLA, KING OF THE MONSTERS! RAARGH! IN 10 MINUTES, I WILL ARRIVE ON THE SCENE AND SAVE TOKYO FROM THE TERROR OF PINKZILLA! RAARGH! YES, I SEE.
I LOVE YOU, FUMIKO.
AND I LOVE YOU, HERSCHEL.
[THUD.]
AAAHH! GOLLYZILLA! HELLO! I'M ON A RAMPAGE! NARF! SCAMPER AWAY IN TERROR NOW.
GO ON! BOO! HA HA HA! AAAHH! AAAHH! AAAHH! AAAHH! AAH! AAH! GOLLYZILLA! WE MUST RUN FOR OUR LIVES.
[PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
POIT! OH, I CAN'T SEE THROUGH THIS THING.
OH! OH, NO! THE GIANT MONSTER IS MOLTING! HUH! AAH! EGAD! I'M ALL A-TANGLE.
NARF! WHOA! YES, I SEE.
NOW TO MAKE MYSELF THE LARGEST MOUSE ON EARTH AND HERO OF THE PLANET.
CALL ME BRAINODO! [LOUD FOOTSTEPS.]
PEOPLE OF TOKYO, DO NOT FEAR.
I, BRAINODO, HAVE COME TO SAVE YOU.
AAH! AAH! AAH! IT IS ANOTHER GIANT MONSTER, EVEN MORE UGLY THAN GOLLYZILLA! ACTUALLY, I AM AN ARTIFICIALLY ENLARGED LAB MOUSE HERE TO SAVE YOU.
YOU MAY THANK ME LATER BY MAKING ME YOUR LEADER.
[GASPS.]
UNLESS THAT DOESN'T FIT INTO YOUR PLANS.
WHERE IS PINKY? HOW CAN I SAVE THE CITY FROM GOLLYZILLA WITH NO GOLLYZILLA? AAH! AAH! AAH! RARRR! [SNORTS.]
RARRR! [SNORTS.]
RARRR! PINKY! [MUFFLED GROWLS.]
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? NEVER MIND.
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU IN THAT STUPID COSTUME.
MAKE THIS BATTLE LOOK REALISTIC, PINKY.
EVERYTHING DEPENDS ON IT.
TAKETHAT, HIDEOUS BEAST! [COUGH COUGH.]
OOH! AHH.
OOH.
AHH.
EEE! AHH.
NOW YOU'VE GOTTEN ME MAD, PINKY.
UM, EXCUSE ME, BRAIN.
GO AWAY NOW, PINKY.
CAN'T YOU SEE I'M FIGHTING WITH PINKY? NARF! RIGHT.
OH, NO.
WAIT.
HOW CAN YOU BE FIGHTING WITH ME OVER THERE IF I'M STANDING OVER HERE? IT'S A VERY SIMPLE PRINCIPLE, PINKY.
IT'S BECAUSE GRR! THAT IS THE REAL GOLLYZILLA.
RARRR! AAH! RARRR! AAH! AAH! YES, I-- AAH! AAH! AAH! GRR! RARRR! GRR! THE FAT GUY IN THE SUIT IS SURPRISINGLY AGILE.
UHH! AAH! AAH! [PINKY.]
TOO BAD WE'RE NOT GIANT ANYMORE, BRAIN.
WE ARE STILL GIANT, PINKY.
UNFORTUNATELY, SO IS EVERYTHING ELSE.
OUR RELATIVE SMALLNESS REMAINS, BUT ON THIS WE SHOULD NOT DWELL.
FOR WE MUST PLAN FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.
WHAT ARE THE THREE OF US GOING TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT, BRAIN? THREE OF US? HMM.
STILL THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, PINKY-- TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! YES.
YES, I SEE.
THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN [MUTTERING.]
CORE, MATHEMATICAL ESSENCE.
O.
K.
, WHERE IS THAT THING? HMM.
AND ENTERING IN FACTORING INHMM.
[MUTTERING.]
NUMERICAL EQUIVALENT THE PROBLEM THERE AHH! PINKY.
PINKY! WHOA! NARF! WHAT WERE YOU DOING UP THERE, PINKY? OH, I WAS HAVING A DEVIL OF A TIME CLEANING THE CHIMNEY, BRAIN.
WE DON'T HAVE A CHIMNEY.
OH, WELL, THERE YOU ARE, THEN.
NO, PINKY.
THERE YOU ARE.
I AM ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE NEAR THAT VICINITY.
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT, PINKY, WHY IT IS THAT WE HAVEN'T YET SUCCEEDED IN TAKING OVER THE WORLD? OH, I KNOW WHY, BRAIN-- GREMLINS.
LITTLE SPRINKLY SPRITES THAT CONFUSE US AND MIX US UP, ALWAYS TWIDDLING THEIR LITTLE FINGERS IN OUR EARS.
GRRRR! AN INTERESTING THEORY, BUT I'VE REVIEWED OUR PAST EFFORTS, PINKY, TURNING THE SITUATIONS INTO NUMBERS IN AN EFFORT TO LOCATE THE EXACT PROBLEM.
OH.
WELL, THAT SOUNDS VERY, UM NARF! YES, I'M SURE IT DOES.
I'VE PLOTTED THE NUMBERS AND THE RESULT IS QUITE INTERESTING.
EGAD, BRAIN! THAT LOOKS LIKE ME, BUT FLAT! IT IS YOU, PINKY.
MY CALCULATIONS SHOW THAT YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
PINKY? YES.
PINKY.
SCIENTIFICALLY SPEAKING, IT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE A SPAZZY BEETLE-HEADED DUFUS WITH THE INTELLECT OF A MULE HOOF THAT I HAVE YET TO CONQUER THE WORLD! OH, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET RID OF ME, ARE YOU, BRAIN? I MEAN, YOU, WORKING AS A SINGLE? LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO JERRY LEWIS AFTER HE SPLIT WITH DEAN.
ALL THAT STUFF IN YOUR HAIR.
POINT TAKEN.
BUT FEAR NOT, I HAVE ANOTHER PLAN.
PINKY, I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU SMART.
II DON'T UNDERSTAND, BRAIN.
EXACTLY.
BUT YOU WILL, MY FRIEND YOU WILL.
EGAD, BRAIN! WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY JUST MAKE THEMSELVES REALLY SMART? I MEAN, THIS ALL SEEMS SO SIMPLE.
LIKE ALL GREAT THINGS, PINKY, THE IDEA IS SIMPLE, BUT THE EXECUTION-- OH, THERE LIES THE DIFFICULTY.
THERE LIES THE GENIUS.
TAKING A LITTLE NAP, IS HE? PINKY, OPERATING THIS MACHINE REQUIRES CALCULATIONS ON THE FLY, SPLIT-SECOND DECISIONS, HUGE AMOUNTS OF DATA, INCREDIBLE MENTAL ABILITIES, AND PRECISE TIMING.
IN OTHER WORDS-- I COULDN'T DO IT.
NO.
WHAA! HA HA HA! HEE HEE HA HA! HA HA HA! HA HA! HMM47 AUGHT 6.
FIBONACCI "N" MINUS ONE COMING, COMING NOW! PINKY? HA HA! HA HA HA! WHOO! THAT WAS FUN, BRAIN.
HA HA HA! NARF! OOH, I'M ALL TINGLY.
FUN, PERHAPS, BUT OBVIOUSLY NOT SUCCESSFUL.
NO, NO, NO.
I THINK IT WAS.
AT FIRST IT SEEMED LIKE THE FOLDED DIPOLE WASN'T WORKING AS YOUR CENTER-FED HORIZONTALLY MOUNTED CONDUCTOR, BUT FREQUENCIES BELOW 30 MEGAHERTZ-- LOUD AND CLEAR! AND I MUST SAY, BRAIN, THE PEAK VALUE WAVE SHAPE OF THE IMPULSE VOLTAGE? GLORIOUS! NARF! I MEAN, HITTING THAT MAXIMUM VALUE WITHOUT APPRECIABLE SUPERIMPOSED OSCILLATIONS-- EGAD, BRAIN! BRILLIANT! HA HA HA! YES! HERE IS TONIGHT'S PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINATION, PINKY.
I'M CURIOUS AS TO YOUR OPINION.
RIGHT-O, BRAIN.
NARF! I WILL POSE AS JIMMY HOFFA, BACK FROM VACATION.
LABOR LEADERS WILL BOW BEFORE ME AND HELP ME UTILIZE THE GIANT INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX TO BUILD THIS-- THE FORCED VERTO-CONVECTOR.
IT WILL CREATE MILLIONS OF STEAMING, TINY GEYSERS THAT WILL ACTUALLY LIFT PEOPLE SEVERAL INCHES OFF THE GROUND, IMMOBILIZING THEM.
EGAD, BRAIN! IT'S LIKE GIANT AIR HOCKEY.
BRILLIANT! OH, WAIT.
NO, NO, NO.
YES, PINKY? WELL, THE COEFFICIENT VALUES OF YOUR FOURIERS-- I MEAN, THIS SHOULD BE SINE, NOT COSINE.
POIT.
KIND OF FLIPS THE WHOLE THING AROUND.
WON'T WORK.
PINKYTHAT'S RIGHT.
ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING? YES, I AM.
THIS IS FANTASTIC.
DO YOU SEE? YOU'VE SAVED US AN ENTIRE EVENING.
TREMENDOUS! FORGET THAT PLAN.
LOOK AT THIS ONE COLLEAGUE.
OH, BRAIN! HA HA! POIT! WE WILL PROGRAM A COMPUTER TO GENERATE A FANTASTICALLY POPULAR ROMANCE NOVEL.
OH, LOVELY! IT WILL CONTAIN A HYPNO-PHONETIC SENTENCE SO LONG AND SO CONFUSING, THE READER WILL BE FORCED TO REREAD IT ENDLESSLY OUT LOUD.
AND THE FREQUENCIES OF THOSE SOUNDS WILL HYPNOTIZE ALL AROUND THEM, PRIMED FOR MY SUGGESTION THAT I RULE THE WORLD! ZOUNDS! ANOTHER GOOD ONE, BRAIN! OH, WAIT.
NO, NO.
UM THE FREQUENCY NEEDS TO BE AN EXACT INTEGRAL MULTIPLE OF THE INPUT, DOESN'T IT? OR, UM, IT WILL BE ALL WOBBLE-WOBBLE.
NOT HYPNOTIC AT ALL.
NOPE, WON'T WORK.
YES.
HMM.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
TOO BAD.
[BRAIN.]
WELL, HERE'S ANOTHER.
BY CONVERTING OUR CAGE INTO A NUCLEAR REACTOR, WE CAN PRODUCE ENOUGH ENERGY-- UH-UH.
YOUR MIGRATION AREA IS TINY, BRAIN.
THE NEUTRON WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SLOW DOWN FROM FISSION TO THERMAL IN HERE.
PLEASE, PINKY, LET ME FINISH.
I MEAN, IT'S GOT TO BE AT LEAST 1/6 OF THE MEAN SQUARE DISTANCE BETWEEN-- PLEASE STOP! BUT, BRAIN-- PINKY! IT SEEMS TO ME, BRAIN, THAT IT'S NOT MY FAULT AT ALL THAT THESE PLANS HAVEN'T WORKED.
WELL, OF COURSE IT IS.
LOOK! I FIGURED IT OUT MYSELF.
THE NUMBERS DON'T LIE.
HMM ACTUALLY, THERE SEEMS TO BE A LITTLE BOO-BOO RIGHT HERE.
OH, HERE, TOO.
AND HERE.
OH, YES.
LOTS OF ERRORS.
STOP IT, PINKY! STOP! THESETHIS IT'S PREPOSTEROUS WHAT YOU'RE SAYING! IT'S--IT'S RIDICULOUS! IT'S ABSURD! BUT--BUT, BRAIN.
JUST GO.
JUST MOVE AWAY FROM ME.
GO! BUT NARF.
NO.
NO! IT IS ME.
OH, NO.
OH! NO NO UH NO! HE'S EVEN SMARTER THAN I! SMARTER! ACCEPTING MY OWN ERRORS.
THE TEAM NEEDS BALANCE.
BALANCEYES.
THEREFORE, TO SUCCESSFULLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD, A SACRIFICE MUST BE MADE.
ONE OF US MUST BE AN IMBECILE.
I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN IT WAS, "NO, PINKY," THIS, BOP ON THE HEAD.
"NO, PINKY," THAT, BOP ON THE HEAD.
BUT NOWEGAD! BEING A SMARTY IS NO FUN.
BRAIN DOESN'T LIKE ME.
I MEAN, WE HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD ONCE TONIGHT.
I'M SMART ENOUGH NOW.
I COULD DO IT! FIBONACCI "N" PLUS ONE COMING.
NARF! COMING [WHISTLE BLOWS.]
PINKY.
OH, PINK--OOF! HA HA! PINKY, LOOK AT ME! I'M A NINNY, A WOODEN-HEADED DUM-DUM.
DUH! DUH! DUH! DUH! NOT A SMART THOUGHT IN MY WHOLE EMPTY HEAD.
NARF! NARF TO THE WORLD.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TONIGHT, PINKY? POIT! I SAY, POIT! PINKY? [MACHINE TURNS ON.]
HA HA HA! HA HA HA! IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK! BRAIN, I FIXED IT.
I'M A NITWIT! HA HA! HURRAH! I'VE FIXED IT, AS WELL, PINKY.
I'M AS DENSE AS A TREE STUMP.
YOU MEAN YES.
WELL, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO MAKE YOU SMART AGAIN, WON'T WE? WE CAN'T, PINKY.
WE'RE BOTH TOO STUPID TO OPERATE THE MACHINE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TONIGHT, BRAIN? SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, PINKY.
WHAT'S THAT? I HAVE NO IDEA.
POIT.
NARF.
THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN [PINKY.]
AND NOW, THE PARTS OF THE BRAIN, PERFORMED BY THE BRAIN! YES.
NEOCORTEX, FRONTAL LOBE BRAINSTEM, BRAINSTEM HIPPOCAMPUS, NEURAL NODE RIGHT HEMISPHERE PONS AND CORTEX VISUAL BRAINSTEM, BRAINSTEM SYLVIAN FISSURE, PINEAL LEFT HEMISPHERE CEREBELLUM, LEFT CEREBELLUM, RIGHT SYNAPSE, HYPOTHALAMUS STRIATUM, DENDRITE AXON FIBERS MATTER GRAY BRAINSTEM, BRAINSTEM CENTRAL TEGMENTAL PATHWAY TEMPORAL LOBE WHITE CORE MATTER, FOREBRAIN, SKULL BRAINSTEM, BRAINSTEM CENTRAL FISSURE, CORD SPINAL PARIETAL PIA MATER, MENINGEAL VEIN MEDULLA OBLONGATA AND LOBE LIMBIC MICROELECTRODES NARF! THE BRAIN! THAT OUGHT TO KEEP THE LITTLE SQUIRTS HAPPY.
YES! CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL