Pinky and the Brain (1995) s03e12 Episode Script

Brain Acres

Gee, brain, What do you want to do tonight? The same thing we do every night, pinky-- Try to take over the world.
they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain one is a genius the other's insane they're laboratory mice their genes have been spliced they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain, brain before each night is done their plan will be unfurled by the dawning of the sun they'll take over the world they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain their twilight campaign is easy to explain to prove their mousey worth they'll overthrow the earth they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain Narf! warner bros.
Brain: the hour is upon us.
Tonight, pinky, we shall unlock the mystery of life! I still haven't unlocked the mystery of highlights for children.
What is wrong with that goofus? I'm sure he wonders the same thing about you.
[Thunder] Now hasten to your post, pinky.
The storm is at its peak.
Yes, master! Zort! Ah ha ha ha! We shall harness its energy to breathe life Into yon insentient form.
Oh, cold and inert lump, Fear not the sobering catastrophe of birth, For as you awake, So shall the sun dawn on a new age, An age in which i shall rule the world.
Yes! Give me the spark of life! Aah! Aah! Give me some ointment.
This is an unwelcome development.
Pinky: ohh! Whew! Pardon me, brain.
I ate too much cotton candy last night.
That was dryer lint.
[Groaning] Pinky that's not you.
It's our creation.
Appendage growth! As i suspected, the transference of energy Has caused our subject to sprout arms! Brain: and legs! And a lap.
Yert? Ha ha! Yert! Ha ha ha! He's a cute little carrot, isn't he, brain? What do you think we should name him? Um, well, there's biff or willy Or lanky orangey guy.
Narf! Nnn narf.
Zort! Zort.
Troz! Merp.
Merp! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! I've created a monster.
Yes! Chest out! Stand up straight! Are you looking at me, carrot? Yert? Don't interrupt.
You came into this lab a spineless vegetable, But i'm going to turn you into a lean, mean, fighting machine.
There's your target.
Narf! Nowsic him.
Mert! Kootchie kootchie mert! Ah ha ha ha! You're supposed to attack him, not tickle him.
But violence is wrong, brain.
Rrrr! Run along and play, pinky.
I've got a carrot to train.
There's your target.
Now, carrot, destroy him before he destroys you! Ready? Attack! Rrrr! Rrrr! Rrrr! [Humming] Grrr! Rrrr! Rrrr! [Singing] Rrrr! la la la la la la la Aah! Yes! Pinky: ha ha ha! Marco! Polo! Ha ha ha! I haven't created a monster.
I've created another pinky.
Pinky: brain, can we get pudding snacks? You'll spoil your dinner, pinky.
Well, then can maurice and i ride in the cart? We're not using it-- Who's maurice? Oh, he's my new friend the carrot.
Narf! I should've left you two in the minivan.
Now, pay attention.
By adapting my machinery from the lab, I have constructed the vegetron.
With this new, improved version, I can create fierce, threatening vegetables-- Unlike maurice-- To frighten the unsuspecting populace into submission, So that i can take over the world! Then can we have pudding snacks? Huh? Focus! This time i have selected the common eggplant.
Heh heh heh heh! [Growling] Aah! Ew.
Clean-Up on aisle 12.
Oh, the agony of defeat.
Well, look on the bright side, brain.
What bright side, pinky? The side closest to the light bulb.
Merp! Ha ha ha! Zort.
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! You two are a perfect team.
A vegetable and a carrot.
Our problem is solved, pinky.
I have developed a fertilizer Which will grow our vegetables To gargantuan proportions.
Yes! Never again will my herbaceous helpers be ignored! I call my concoction braindini, A select blend of chlorophyll, Performance-Enhancing steroids, And cattle droppings.
Aren't you forgetting one special ingredient? Wellyes, i added one of your pudding snacks.
See, brain? Everything's better with pudding snacks.
Now we must buy a humble plot of bottom land, Where we shall sow the seeds of victory.
We shall travel to middle america, pinky and maurice egad! Where we will purchase a repossessed farm With this government subsidy check.
Now, come.
There are mules to yoke.
Oh, but wait, brain.
Old macdonald had a farm, And look what happened to him.
Now he's a clown.
E-I-E-I-O! Ha ha ha! Brain: * brain acres is where we will go * giant vegetables is what we'll grow kings and presidents may have their doubts but i'll take over the world with brussels sprouts Pinky: * our cage is where i feel alive * i run the wheel from 9 to 5 so many happy things to do like running the wheel again from 6 till 2 The sun! I run! I plant! I pant! Brain: * get in the cab Pinky: * good-Bye, acme lab brain acres, we are here Mert.
Baa! Baa! Baa! What in the name of demeter's rusty rake is he doing? Oh, he wants to be a sheepcarrot, brain.
He's trying to herd you into this pen.
A carrot can't herd sheep.
Baa! There's no rule, brain.
Anyway, the county fair doesn't have A talking vegetable competition.
If they did, you'd win.
Besides, if he wants to be a sheepcarrot, He'll need a herd of sheep.
A what? Herd of sheep.
Yes, i've heard of sheep.
Ha ha ha! Ba dum bum.
Have you heard of aspirin? Oof! Ha ha ha! Zort! Howdy.
I'm jimmy joe of jimmy joe's blue ribbon farms, And this here's my pride and joy, jimmy joe jr.
Heh heh heh! Ugh! Howdy, neighbors.
I am farmer brain, And these are my field hands Farmer pinky and sheepherder maurice.
Howdy! Howdy! Say, you boys ain't from around these parts, is ya? Actually, pinky and i are genetically altered lab mice Who are endeavoring to take over the world through farming.
And our associate sheepherder maurice is, uh from los angeles.
Baa! We're growing giant vegetables.
Heh heh heh! Heh heh heh! Whoo, boy! That's a real knee-Slapper.
Nobody grows vegetables bigger than pa.
Why, he's won the blue ribbon at the county fair That's why it's called "jimmy joe's blue ribbon farms.
" I would never have guessed.
I assure you, oh, simple and naïve hayseeds, These vegetables will be far bigger Than any you've ever grown.
With corn as high as an elephant's eye.
Yert! Well, the county fair starts tomorrow.
And it looks like the only vegetables you've got Are invisible.
Who knows? Maybe you can win an invisible ribbon.
Yes! Jimmy joe: but it's impossible! Well, i plum reckon it'll be "Jimmy joe's used to be blue ribbon farms" from now on.
Plum reckon! Heh heh heh! That's a good one, pa.
Come on.
Let's go, son.
Come, pinky.
And maurice.
Bonehead! We must rest and gather our energy, For tomorrow begins a new era When people and giant vegetables Live uneasily together under my rule! They sure was nice folks, wasn't they, pa? Grow nice vegetables, too.
Must be 10 times bigger'n yours.
I'll be hog-Tied and chicken fried Before i let some city slicker Take my blue ribbon away! [Snoring] [Ring] Rrrring! Aah! Prepare to seize the day, my friends, For today we seize the world! [Gasps] No! They're gone.
My giant vegetables are all gone! Maybe the sheep ate them.
Pinky, there are no sheep.
Oh, no! The sheep are gone, too? Baaa! What larcenous lowlife would purloin My entire crop of gargantuan vegetables? A really hungry giant gopher? Zort! Brain: a "jimmy joe's blue ribbon toothpick.
" Pinky, are you pondering what i'm pondering? I think so, brain, But if the plural of "mouse" is "mice," Wouldn't the plural of "spouse" be "spice?" No, pinky.
While we were sleeping, Jimmy joe and his gum-Jabbing offspring Must've stolen our vegetables.
Dollars to donuts, they took our crop to the county fair.
Egad, brain! If dollars turn into donuts, Everyone's wallets will be too squishy for them to sit down.
If your head were a donut, Your mind would be the donut hole, pinky.
Good one, brain! Ha ha ha! Now, come! We're off to the county fair.
Brain: * this county fair is a pretty fair fair * if you go, then you will be there when you pay a fare, you can go to the fair it's the fairest affair anywhere Jimmy joe: * this county fair is an unfair fair * if you don't, then i'll get your share i don't play fair when i go to the fair i'm the unfairest square at the fair i'll win a prize for baking i'll win a prize for sheep baa! and there's a prize of global size that i would like to reap this county fair is a pretty fair fair if you go, then you will be there when you pay a fare, you can go to the fair it's the fairest affair anywhere Yert! [Indistinct chatter] Maurice: baa! Baa! Baa! P.
: Contestant number 23, maurice, Doesn't seem to be having much luck.
Poor maurice.
Poit! His dream is dying.
My dream is just about to come to life.
I'll see you at the real vegetable competition.
Narf! Yert! P.
: That'll do, carrot.
[Whimpers] [Cheering] And the blue ribbon goes to jimmy joe's blue ribbon farms, As well as the red ribbon, The white ribbon, the green ribbon, And, heck, my new car.
Why, i ain't never seen nothing like these! How do you do it, jimmy joe? Well, weren't nothin' but sunshine, water, And a little help from my pride and joy here.
Brain: don't forget your neighbor.
All: huh? I made these vegetables, and i can command them! Whoa, there! Nice little corn cob! [Growling] [Screaming] Cheater! Aah! Yes! Yes! Uhh! [Crowd screaming] No.
No! Cheer up, maurice.
Maybe you should try herding something That doesn't eat vegetables.
Pinky, my vegetables are revolting! Oh, they're not so bad if you add a little butter.
Ba dum bum! No, pinky.
Look! [Roars] [Roaring] Pinky, that giant kohlrabi Is about to crush the ferris wheel! I don't remember planting kohlrabi.
I planted it.
It's very tasty in salads.
Thank you, martha stewart.
Now, perhaps you have a recipe For averting this current disaster.
Baa! Baa! Baa! Baa! Baa! Baa! Baa! Baa! Aaagh! Tiny talking carrot! Aaahhh! Yay! You did it, maurice! Baa! You saved the ferris wheel from the giant kohlrabi! Oh, you are a sheepcarrot after all! Look, pinky.
There's something wrong with all the giant vegetables.
[Moaning] Brain: the leeks! The yams! The chicory! They're all wilting.
The hot sun and exertion is causing them to dry out.
My army of vegetables is a failure.
The fair is saved! Quick, darlene! Fetch some of your prize-Winning raspberry vinaigrette dressing! I'm gonna get me some big ol' croutons.
[People yelling] Egad! Maurice is wilting, too! Reckon.
Brain, what'll we do? We have to save my friend! There's only one thing to do, pinky.
We have to return him to his natural habitat.
You mean yes.
We must plant him.
[Whimpering] Pinky: * grow free and live in the soil you've been very loyal but you belong with your kind don't grieve remember the good things we ate lots of pudding but you need water and dirt sprout leaves don't stray from your garden get back in the ground today or you'll be crudité grow free and live like a carrot i'll just have to bear it while you grow free [Sobbing] Brain, can we stay here and live in the soil with maurice? No, pinky.
We must return to our natural habitat, The lab, And prepare for tomorrow night.
Why, brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night? Oh! Bring pudding snacks to life? No, pinky.
The same thing we do every night: Try to take over the world! they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain, brain And maurice! warner bros.
Captioned by the national --Www.