Pinky and the Brain (1995) s03e19 Episode Script

Leggo My Ego

Gee, brain, What do you want to do tonight? The same thing we do every night, pinky-- Try to take over the world.
they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain one is a genius the other's insane they're laboratory mice their genes have been spliced they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain, brain before each night is done their plan will be unfurled by the dawning of the sun they'll take over the world they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain their twilight campaign is easy to explain to prove their mousey worth they'll overthrow the earth they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain Narf! warner bros.
Woman: oh, thank you.
Thank you for curing me, dr.
Freud.
Thanks to your miracle technique, I am no longer delusional.
It's called hypnosis, fraulein.
I took you back to re-Experience your childhood.
Whatever you did, it worked.
I used to think that little men were following me around, But now i know that little men Were just in meine imagination.
[Doorbell rings.]
Ach.
Excuse me, fraulein.
That's enough, pinky.
Come.
You stand lookout while i write my name In dr.
Freud's appointment book.
Right, brain.
Hello.
Lovely day, isn't it? Narf! Uh, doctor hurry, pinky.
Let's go.
Ta-Ta.
Nice chatting with you.
Funny.
There was nobody there.
Now, fraulein, where were we? Aaah! The little men! The little men! They're back! Bl-Bl-Bl-Bl-Bl-Bl aaah! Hmm.
You know, you might want to think about another appointment.
Aah! What are we going to do now, brain? Ring some more doorbells and run away? No, pinky.
Ohh! We've come to vienna To see the great hypnotizing psychiatrist Dr.
Sigmund freud.
Oh, bravo, brain.
You're finally getting some help For that problem of yours-- You know, the one where you ring people's doorbells And then run away.
Troz! Look, pinky, i'll explain this one more time.
My appointment with dr.
Freud is only a ruse.
When he tries to hypnotize me, I will use a pair of mirrored glasses to reverse the process, Thereby hypnotizing freud himself.
Egad! Brilliant, brain! Then you can make him wear a lovely dress and act like a monkey.
Pinky, how would that possibly help us To take over the world? Well, actually, i was thinking of it More as entertainment.
Poit.
All vienna knows that the emperor franz josef Is being treated by freud for depression.
When freud is under my spell unh! I will order him to hypnotize the emperor Into giving me, the brain, His right to the imperial throne, Allowing me to take over the world! [Squeak.]
[plop.]
Uhh! Ooh! Did you bring my mirrored glasses, pinky? Yes, i did, brain.
They're right in here with all the fun, fun games I brought to play with in the waiting room.
Zort! [Gasps.]
Oh, look.
I've got jacks and wind-Up toys And a mahjong tile And a bottle cap-- Ooh! And yarn.
Freud: herr brain, you're next.
No! Don't leave me! I'll be so bored! What shall i do?! Well, what about all this stuff? Boring.
Been there, done that.
Well, make small talk with that man over there And give me my mirrored glasses.
Umhi.
Let's see.
Um do you know anything about lilliputians? Excuse me? I'm sorry.
I'm just trying to make small talk.
Ach, don't trouble yourself.
I'm just a sad little sad man.
Life brings me nothing but dreary sadness.
I'm sad all the time.
Boy, am i sad.
Well, i brought a pair of googly-Eye glasses.
They'll cheer you up.
Oogedy-Boogedy! Ha ha ha ha ha! Narf! But all i see is my own dreary, sad little sad face.
Poit.
These aren't my googly-Eye glasses.
These are mirrored gla-- [Gasps.]
Uh-Oh.
You are getting sleepy very sleepy.
No, no.
You are getting sleepy.
[Boing.]
Hey, take off those ridiculous glasses.
Huh? Now, where were we? Ah, yes.
You are getting sleepy.
Wait.
Pinky has my other glasses.
I--I need them.
I'll just-- No, silly-Billy.
You don't need glasses to be hypnotized.
Oh, yes.
Really, i Havetoget them.
I Yes.
Let yourself go.
Must remember to hurt pinky at first opportunity.
No.
You don't want to hurt anybody.
We are going to discover who hurt you.
We are going back to your childhood.
Yes.
Going back back.
You are in a deep sleep, ja? Ja.
I mean yes.
I want you to think about a time When you were very young.
Freud: where you are, brain? Brain: in a field, playing.
How old are you? Just a child, Not a care in the world.
[Grunts.]
[Snap.]
[Clatter.]
[Grunts.]
Suddenly i'm being chased, Hunted down like some sort of rabid dog.
Terrified, i run home to my parents.
They rush to my aid, But my assailant is overpowering.
I was taken from my home And sent to a research facility.
As i entered those doors, The carefree innocence of my youth Was snuffed out like a candle, Replaced with unremitting darkness.
Lab-Coated goons tried to break our spirits And brainwash us into submission.
Others emerged from the experience not quite all there.
Narf! Zort! Hee hee hee hee! The slightest insolence resulted in punishment Both swift and brutal.
Please, sir, i'd like some more.
[Mice gasp.]
More? You want more? Aah.
Aah! I never met a man i didn't meet.
Aah! The problem with congress is they're all liars.
Aah! Make it stop! And how did that make you feel? Angry like i wanted to to take over the world.
Hmm.
Emotional displacement.
Obviously, you were missing the comfort of your home.
Describe the scene when you were taken away.
Describe your home.
Brain: it's warm.
It's inviting.
It's a tin can.
There's something on the side of it, a a picture.
Freud: a picture of what? No.
No.
I--I mean, i--I can't tell.
Yes.
You must.
It's a picture of of the world! And then they dragged me away.
And you want your world back.
It's simple.
Yes.
[Snap.]
what? Where am i? Your problem is simple, herr brain.
You just want to go home.
I do? Ja.
You don't want to take over the world.
I don't? I don't? [Click.]
ok, time's up.
Wait.
My plan.
I--I need more time.
Ja.
Ja.
We set up another appointment.
No, i-I've got to "how to hypnotize anyone.
Create a relaxing atmosphere.
" Okey-Dokey, you sick little puppy.
Move it.
I got another client.
Oh, there's not enough time for this.
[Smack.]
oh! [Gasps.]
Oh, no.
What have i done? Oh, no.
What have i done? Yes! You'll obey my every command.
I will obey.
But wait.
Maybe freud is right.
Maybe this obsession of mine Is nothing but cheap nostalgia.
Maybe all i'm really longing for is is a rusty tin can.
What a quack.
Ha ha ha ha ha! Narf! Oh, very good, mr.
Elephant.
Zort! [Trumpets.]
ha ha ha ha ha! Ach, herr pinky, i'm having the most exciting fun For the first time in my dreary, sad life.
Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Narf! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! I will hypnotize the emperor franz josef And order him to make brain his successor.
Perfect.
When i snap my fingers, you will awaken.
[Snap.]
Ach! Herr brain, it's late.
You made good progress today.
More than you know, doctor.
Oh, come over any time, herr pinky.
Here is meine card.
Auf wiedersehen.
Gesundheit! Who's your new friend, pinky? "His most imperial emperor franz josef"? Pinky, that's the man i wanted freud to hypnotize.
Oh, he doesn't want to be hypnotized now, brain.
Since i taught him all my favorite games, He says he'll never need therapy again.
I believe i need therapy, pinky, To find out why i hang around with a nut like you.
Come.
We must go back to the lab And prepare for tomorrow night.
Why, brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night? Try to shrink your head? No, pinky, The same thing we do every night, No matter how forcefully the purveyors of psychobabble Attempt to dissuade us-- Try to take over the world! they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain, brain Assuming a standard height-To-Weight ratio And a 3-Point margin of error pinky: ha ha ha ha! [Synthetic laughter.]
Factor in g-Force and wind shear Of each downward thrust ha ha ha ha! [Synthetic laughter.]
That does it! Pinky, what are you doing? Ha ha ha! Oh, poit! I'm playing With my new "tickle me herbert" doll, brain.
You just tickle him here, And he laughs and laughs.
Kootchie kootchie kootchie! [Synthetic laughter.]
Well, put it away.
I can hardly hear myself think.
Maybe you're just not thinking loud enough, brain.
Pinky, may i see that for a moment? Sure--Uhh! [Synthetic laughter.]
[Laughter fades.]
Oh, brain, i think he likes you.
Zort! Now maybe i'll have the quiet i need To finish perfecting my latest plan.
You might say we're going fishing.
Fishing? Troz! Oh, what fun, brain! I'll bring my beekeeper's bonnet And all the stuff you need for keeping bees.
Oh, no, no, wait.
That's not fishing.
Ha! Oh, that's skiing.
Try to focus, pinky.
This is the finnious japonicus, Commonly known in japan as mugu.
One bite of its tail renders anyone who eats it Unable to move for 24 hours.
I had a linoleum sandwich last week That made me feel the same way, But shiny.
Pinky, if you have anything to say, Please raise your hand.
Right, brain.
And place it over your mouth.
[Muffled.]
ok.
My plan is simply this-- I will capture a pair of mugu, breed them, And market the tails throughout the world As cappy brain's frozen fish sticks.
While the populace is immobilized, I shall implement my plan of world domination.
There's only one catch.
Oh? Well, that won't be enough To feed the whole world, then, will it? [Muffled.]
sorry.
The japonicus is so rare That the only known specimens Are those bred in captivity For the dining pleasure of japan's most elite sumo wrestlers.
[Muffled question.]
Take your hand off your mouth If you're going to speak, pinky.
Oh.
[Muffled question.]
I have anticipated your query, pinky.
I plan to become One of japan's most elite sumo wrestlers.
Observe.
Narf! [Gasps.]
The "tickle me dom deluise"? Oh, why, that's the most expensive one.
Look closer, pinky.
I have modified my suit To fit the precise specifications Of a champion sumo wrestler.
With the adjustments i've made, I'll be able to flip a 600-Pound man.
Won't you need an awfully large spatula for that? Don't forget to pack your doll When we go to japan, pinky.
I might feel the need For some intelligent conversation.
And sumo! Noogie.
Give him the noogie.
Noogie, noogie, noogie.
Unh! Good work, tomu-San.
Tomorrow we work on the wedgie.
Now go.
Brain: master hama? Yes? Allow me to introduce myself.
I am the brain.
I have come many miles with my small valet pinky To study sumo at the camp of master hama.
Your head is as small as a lychee nut, But your physique is excellent for sumo.
I would be honored to teach you.
Actually, i am but an insignificant lab mouse Attempting to take over the world.
The honor is all mine.
[Clank.]
Whaa! Whoa! [Crash.]
There is no need for false humility And groveling.
Come.
We begin immediately.
Let us begin our first lesson.
Excellent.
Who do i flip first? Patience, brain-San.
There will be time for flipping When you are more advanced.
Today, we consider the pebble.
Consider the pebble? Zen exercise to increase concentration.
Observe the pebble's simplicity.
Listen to its silence.
Become the pebble.
You want me to stare at a rock all day? [Chuckles.]
oh, no, no.
Just until lunchtime.
See you in 4 hours.
Hama thinks i'm a beginner, pinky.
Until he lets me compete And prove that i belong in the camp With advanced wrestlers, I'll never get access to the mugu.
Pinky? What? Oh, sorry, brain.
I was becoming one with the pebble.
Were you? Yes.
And it's really easy.
All you have to do is make your mind a complete blank.
Too bad drawing a blank isn't an olympic event, pinky.
We could retire on the gold medals you'd win.
Eat well, brain-San.
We have much training left to do.
Aren't you hungry, master hama? No.
I eat big lunch with my star wrestlers In other dining hall-- Fried mugu, cajun mugu, mugu chowder, mojo mugu.
Someday, brain-San, Perhaps you will be allowed to eat mugu, too, eh? Sooner than you think, my pan-Pacific friend.
The sumo men must eat a lot to get so fat.
Wrestlers not fat, pinky-San.
It is muscle tissue Resulting from years of strenuous yoga exercises.
[Door opens.]
Who wants pie? [Wrestlers all talk at once.]
Well, even the best athletes like a good meringue.
Pinky, a day has passed, And we have nothing to show for it.
Oh, i don't know, brain.
I've developed a lovely relationship With our new friend the pebble.
Pinky, have you ever contemplated the sound of one hand bopping? One hand, um don't think so.
Aah! [Crowd chattering in distance.]
What is it? What's going on? It is matsuhisa, the best wrestler in camp.
He has had too much pie And is taking on all challengers.
Grrr! Pinky: egad, brain.
You'd have to be quite a wrestler To beat that matsu hoozy fellow.
Pinky, are you pondering what i'm pondering? I think so, brain, But who wants to see Snow white and the seven samurai? No, pinky.
I will defeat the great matsuhisa, Thereby proving That i am a great sumo wrestler.
Then you can eat pie till you pop.
Narf! [Smack.]
aah! Matsuhisa, i will accept your challenge.
What's going on here? Brain-San has gone completely insane.
Hmm, oh, that would explain Why he won't talk to my new friend the pebble.
[Grunting.]
Whoa! Oof! Quit now, brain-San.
Better to be live coward than dead idiot.
Don't worry, hama.
It's a matter of scientific fact That i can flip any man up to 600 pounds.
Matsuhisa weighs 601 pounds.
Arrr! Rats.
Noogie, noogie, noogie.
Ow! Stop hurting brain, you, you pie wrecker! [Grunts.]
whoa! [Crash.]
[Boing.]
Whaa! [Grunts.]
Kootchie kootchie.
[Laughing.]
Kootchie kootchie kootchie.
Poit.
Kootchie kootchie koo.
Zort! Kootchie koo.
Kootchie koo.
Kootchie poit! [Crowd gasps.]
Whaa ha! Whaa ha ha ha! Whoa ho ho ho! Whoa! Whoa! Oof! [Cheering.]
The winner! Narf! Bring on the pie! [Chattering.]
Pinky: ooh, now we can get into the fancy restaurant, brain.
Yes, pinky, And we'll get ahold of the fancy fish.
This way, pinky.
This is it, pinky.
The world's only specimens of finnious japonicus Are in this tank.
Soon, kitchen freezers throughout the world Will be stocked with cappy brain's delicious mugu tails, Bursting with paralytic goodness.
You put the yum in yum-Yum-Yummy, cappy brain.
Zort! [Both grunt.]
Tell me if you see any movement, pinky.
Pinky: um, think i saw some movement just then, brain.
Perhaps i should have researched the size of the mugu A bit more thoroughly.
What do we do now, cappy brain? Hope the chef pushes the mugu, pinky, And plan for tomorrow night.
Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night, brain? Same thing we do every night, pinky-- Dry off, and then Try to take over the world.
[Bubbly voices.]
* they're dinky * they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain, brain warner bros.
Captioned by the national --Www.
Ncicap.
Org--
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