Pioneers of Television (2008) s03e01 Episode Script
Funny Ladies
1 They brought a whole new perspective to television comedy.
I never thought I was going to be paving any way for anybody.
iAy, caramba! Charo! You have to tell the truth, that's what comedy's all about.
Today, kids have drugs and sex and nervous breakdowns.
It was a lot different in my day.
We had to go out and find our own fun.
She didn't care about anybody but the audience and making them laugh, and it was so genius.
Look, miss, I was just about to have a drink and I wouldn't mind some company.
Want one? No, thank you.
I really wanted to be able to express myself.
I said I wouldn't mind some company.
Well, all right, I'll have a Brandy Alexander.
I think she was very funny.
You know, things like the candy factory and Vitameatavegamin.
The answer to all your problems is in this little old bottle.
Those are precise, excellent, just fantastic pieces of comedy.
Lucy Ball, Carol Burnett look at what they did for young women.
We have young women doing comedy today that wouldn't have done it without those two women.
They opened doors for women everywhere.
You can get laughs while making a point.
Can I get you a drink? Yes, thank you.
A Scotch.
Neat.
Don't worry, you'll get a clean glass.
But sometimes you're doing something you never dreamed you'd do in our silly business.
Come sit beside me.
More than anything, they entertained us.
We never broke up on purpose.
Never.
I was at this freak show one time and I, I saw these Siamese elephants.
I'm not a funny person.
I'm silly as hell, but I'm sorry, but this is a very critical time.
Well, I'm sorry, this Is a very critical time for me, too! Together, they redefined the role of women in comedy.
Isn't it exciting work we do? Hot-diggity-dog! They are the pioneers of television.
From a very early age, all of television's funny ladies imagined a journey to stardom.
But no one came further than Carol Burnett.
Raised by her grandmother in a tiny one-room apartment in this Hollywood tenement building, her hopes of fame seemed like an impossible dream.
We used to climb the Hollywood sign.
The "O" s were my favorite.
I would climb up on the "O" s and go, "Hollywood, I'll beat you yet!" Oh, we had more fun.
In her early 20s, Carol followed her dream to New York.
But her fantasy of singing on Broadway wasn't coming true.
I remember once I was at an audition and it was narrowed down to another girl and me.
And she got the part.
And I just said to myself, it was her time.
It wasn't my time, it was her time to get that job.
My time will come.
Carol Burnett's time finally did come, thanks partly to this man, John Foster Dulles.
As the U.
S.
Secretary of State, Dulles was perceived as a serious policy expert, and perhaps the most boring man in America.
We worked out a declaration that the treaty does not in any way give effect to the Yalta agreement, which some people feared might be the case.
So, when Carol sang a song idolizing John Foster Dulles, it caught the nation's attention.
â« I made a fool of myself â« â« Over John Foster Dulles â« He was really dull.
And so, it became a funny song because it was a takeoff on all the girls at that time who were crazy about Elvis.
â« The third time I saw him 'twas at the UN â« â« Oh, I never had been one to swoon over men â« â« But I swooned and the drums started pounding and then â« â« I made a fool of myself â« â« Over John â« â« Foster Dulles â« Over the course of a few days, Carol sang the song on network television three times.
Within a week, Carol Burnett was a household name.
"I'm in Love with John Foster Dulles.
" She made Life magazine with it, and she became a known person.
John Foster Dulles, which got everybody's attention.
She had a natural, great contralto voice and the face and the body and the everything for comedy.
I mean we all knew that something was going to happen with Carol.
Like Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers also had dreams of stardom, from the very beginning.
From the time I was 3 years old and could put thoughts together, that was it.
I sat in a movie theater in Brooklyn and I'm sitting there thinking, "This is a mistake.
I should be up there she should be watching me.
Let her eat the goo-goos.
" Young Joan Rivers fought her way into obscure amateur plays, but paying acting jobs eluded her.
When she learned about a comic who had made $6 a night, she was intrigued.
Six dollars a night doing comedy.
That's more than I was making as a Kelly Girl.
I went to see him and I thought, "I can do that.
This is stupid.
That's nothing, I can do that.
" And that's how I started little did I know.
Before long, Joan was in Chicago, on stage at Second City, building her comic repertoire, honing the skills that would make her a television star.
A lot of people get into bed and watch television.
Edgar always takes a book to bed, which is terrific on my wedding night.
Are you ready for that one? Second City changed my life.
To this day, everything I do on stage is out of Second City.
It's a great way to spend your 20s.
It's just really fun, and it opens people up creatively.
It makes you a better risk taker in general.
Eventually Joan Rivers found herself in Los Angeles, working the comedy clubs, hoping for that one shot on Johnny Carson's "Tonight Show" that could make her a star overnight.
For seven years, the "Tonight Show" bookers passed.
Seven years and they would come and they would say things like, they would always say, "There's a very funny girl down there, you should see her.
" Then they'd say, "Too rough, too wild, talking about things a woman shouldn't talk about.
" Finally, Johnny Carson opened his door to Joan Rivers and gave her a shot on the "Tonight Show.
" Carson and I clicked.
He got me immediately.
Immediately.
And on the air, he said to me, "You're going to be a star," and it still gets me.
1, 2 Mary Tyler Moore's plans for stardom began in a dance studio.
As a teen, she practiced every day.
But in Hollywood, her dreams faced a major obstacle.
I was a chorus dancer.
I wanted to be a star dancer, but they weren't making that many musicals anymore.
But Mary Tyler Moore had a combination that was rare in Hollywood.
She was both beautiful and vulnerable, the idealized, fresh-faced "girl next door.
" I was very lucky because I had kind of an All-American face and demeanor.
And I was easily cast in small roles, but then that's where I got my experience.
Small acting jobs came quickly for Mary Tyler Moore, but they didn't bring fame.
Stuck in supporting roles, Mary Tyler Moore considered leaving show business altogether.
At one point, she took a test to determine what other jobs she might be good at.
And it was three days of testing.
And at the end of it, the result was that I would be best suited for work either as a model or a member of the armed forces.
When she heard Carl Reiner was casting a new sitcom, Mary Tyler Moore didn't even want to try for the part.
After all, Reiner was interviewing dozens of more experienced actresses for the role of Laura Petrie, like Pat Crowley.
I did meet with Carl Reiner at his house.
That was something I would love to have done.
I would love to have done "The Dick Van Dyke Show.
" Carl Reiner's staff called Mary, but she still didn't think it was even worth auditioning.
And I was feeling very sorry for myself.
And I was having coffee with a girlfriend.
And she said, "Well, that's ridiculous, you just put that cup down and get in the car and go over and interview for this," 'The Dick Van Dyke Show.
' And I did.
And Carl Reiner just looked at me with a kind of a look of awe on his face.
He communicated to me right away that I was going to get that role.
Getting that first big role, it wasn't easy for Mary Tyler Moore or Carol Burnett or Joan Rivers.
But the obstacles were even larger for a woman of color.
Throughout the 1930s, '40s and '50s, one of the highest-paid standup comics in America was an African-American woman, Jackie Mabley, but no TV show would book her until the late 1960s, near the end of her career.
And ugly He was so ugly, honest to goodness, he hurt my feelings.
Even in the 1970s, women of color still faced challenges breaking into television.
Nearly everyone on TV was white and young.
Anyone who didn't fit the mold faced skepticism.
When I first started, they said, "Well, what makes you think you can do it? You're not beautiful, you're not young.
Young girls are having a hard time.
" I said, "Somebody's got to be the aunt, somebody's got to be the mother, why not me?" After years of rejections, Marla Gibbs landed a small role in a single episode of "The Jeffersons.
" She had just one big line, and how she delivered it would change her career.
You live in this apartment, right? Uh-huh.
And you've got an apartment in this building, too? Yes, that's right.
Well, how come we overcame and nobody told me? The role reminded me so much of my grandmother and my aunt, so I delivered it the way they would have.
And it just went over very big.
Marla Gibbs parlayed that one appearance into a regular starring role on one of TV's longest running sitcoms, "The Jeffersons.
" Florence, get the door.
You told me to stay in the kitchen.
Get the door! Just because you're a boss don't mean you've got to be so lazy.
You're closer to the door than I am.
You could have it opened, answered, and shut before I even got near it! Eventually Marla Gibbs became the first African-American woman to have creative control over her own sitcom, "227.
" She wasn't afraid to take charge.
They have a joke, they said, "Marla, you picked this joke and we like this joke better.
" I said, "Do you? You know what we're going to do? We're going to take some scissors and we're going to cut that joke out and give it to you and you can take it home and keep it forever.
" At first they'd say And just where do you think you're going, young lady? Just over to the park, Mama.
Calvin wants to show me where he goes when he wants to think about things.
Huh.
Must be a very small place.
America's most beloved funny lady came to television with more comedy experience than almost anyone before, or since.
Lucille Ball was nearly 40 when "I Love Lucy" premiered, with two decades of comic roles on her resumé, playing opposite The Marx Brothers, Abbott and Costello, Red Skelton, the Three Stooges, and Bob Hope.
Oh, I'll never forget Lady Cunningham's hair.
She had me comb it in a huge bun on the top of her head.
It was very striking.
How uninteresting.
Everywhere she went, people would say, "There goes Lady Cunningham, she's the one with the bun on.
" Ha ha! They were quaint folk.
Lucy's skill for getting laughs was no accident.
She was formally trained in the precise art of physical comedy in her early days at MGM.
As Lucy told it, Rags Ragland and Buster Keaton were under contract to MGM.
Their job really was to take the young contract players and teach them comedy.
And the first things that those gentlemen would do was tell them to take a prop.
Learn that prop so it's an extension of your body.
And Lucy was the most excellent example of someone who could handle a prop and made it artistry.
She was amazing.
So she learned her lessons very, very well, from two masters of physical comedy.
She would say something like, "Okay, the punch line is gonna be, I'm going to say, 'Eat the pie.
' Count to three before you answer me, because that's how long the applause will take, or that's how long the laugh will take.
" She was right! In the '30s and '40s, Hollywood presumed that for a woman to be funny, she'd have to make herself unattractive.
But Lucille Ball rejected that stereotype from the beginning.
Lucille Ball was beautiful.
Nobody remembers that.
If you look at the early films of Lucy Ball, she was always a knock-down- drag-out-gorgeous lady.
Sometimes she was dramatic, sometimes she was comedic, but she could have done anything she wanted to.
What Lucy wanted to do in 1950 was keep her husband close to home.
A bandleader, Desi Arnaz traveled the country to perform.
But if he starred with Lucy in a weekly TV show, the couple could spend more time together.
On October 15th, 1951, "I Love Lucy" premiered.
Look, Lucy, Monday's Fred's anniversary and he wants to go to the fights.
Well, Monday's Ethel's anniversary, too, and she wants to go to a night club.
Fred is not going to go to any stuffy night club.
Well, Ethel's not going to any stale fight.
Lucy, don't push me too far.
It's the fights or nothing.
Well, is that final? Final.
You brought this on yourself.
Ethel wants a divorce! Good.
No, she doesn't! Before "I Love Lucy" premiered, Betty White was already on the air with her sitcom, "Life with Elizabeth," premiering in 1951.
Let's try it again.
1 That's pretty.
1, 2 Must be a cheap lens.
Well, let's take it once more.
All rightie.
Nice and pretty.
1, 2 Oh, Elizabeth, for goodness' sake.
Honey, that's not nice.
Jiminy crickets.
"I Love Lucy" started shortly after we started, and we had about $1.
95 for a budget for each show.
We played against sort of a flat background.
We had a couch and a couple of living room chairs.
And Lucy came in and all of a sudden, they knew how to do it.
Unlike her contemporaries, Betty White's career actually began in television, in the 1940s.
Her first job was a local show in Los Angeles.
We were on six days a week, five and a half hours a day.
No script, no anything.
It was like going to television college; it was wonderful.
At ease in front of the camera, Betty quickly developed skills behind the scenes as well, emerging as one of the first women to produce a national television show.
That was so, so before the women's movement that I don't think we even thought of it.
I never even thought of it being a different, a different gender, it was just you did whatever the job was and whatever job you could get.
In addition to starring in two sitcoms, Betty White hosted talk shows, produced an "American Idol" style amateur hour, appeared on game shows, and regularly guested on Jack Paar's "Tonight Show," and this was all before 1960.
The funny ladies of television weren't satisfied with their first 15 minutes of fame.
After capturing the nation's attention, they all honed their skills in front of a national audience, week after week.
The training ground for Carol Burnett was "The Garry Moore Show.
" Isn't it natural? It looks so real, you can almost reach out and touch it.
Watch it! Watch what? "The Garry Moore Show," naturally, over most of these CBS stations.
I learned so much from Garry Moore.
Carol, I would like you to meet Robert Goulet.
Must I? Robert, this is Carol Burnett.
Charmed.
Tally-ho.
Uh, I must say, I saw you in your show, uh "Camelot"? Did you like it? Oh, you were wonderful! You were so gorgeous! He was beautiful! He played Sir Lancelot.
And he was a knight in shining armor.
Oh, I wish I'd had a can opener! Before "The Garry Moore Show," Carol Burnett hadn't done much comedy.
She'd planned to become a singer, but here, on this variety show, she found her calling.
Give me a chance at this job.
I'll do anything to get this job.
Anything.
I'll even have a beer with ya after we knock off work, whaddya say? Ehhh! So I fell into the comedic thing.
I never really thought I would ever do comedy, like we did, at all.
Then I thought, I like to hear the laughs.
Because Garry Moore's show was live, anything could happen, a perfect training ground for comedy improvisation.
I'm a queen who thinks for herself.
Kiss me.
Whoa! Madame! You fell off your throne.
Watch it! Mary Tyler Moore learned her craft on "The Dick Van Dyke Show.
" In the first episode, she hadn't quite mastered comedy and was instead trying to imitate her favorite movie star.
The thing about Mary Tyler Moore, she was 23 when she came on the show and had never done any comedy.
I think she visualized herself as a kind of Katharine Hepburn.
And I fancied myself a young Katharine Hepburn about the time that we started "The Dick Van Dyke Show.
" And if, in a rerun, you watch the right episode, you'll catch me up on saying things like, "Oh, darling!" You're not going to fix me any breakfast, are you? But, darling, I offered to fix you breakfast! All right, have your fun.
Enjoy yourself.
Within a few weeks, she grabbed it.
The timing came.
She just got it so quickly that I'm still fascinated by how fast she grew on that show.
Early on, producer Carl Reiner saw Mary's talent for comedy and wrote an episode to bring out her skills.
After dyeing her hair blond, Mary tried to dye it back before her husband got home.
Rob, do you really like my hair? I mean, really like my hair? Honey, I love your hair.
Well, honey what if I were a blonde? Would I be as attractive to you if I were a blonde? Uh I can't picture you as a blonde, honey.
No, wait a minute, yes, I can.
You know who you'd look like? Who? Harpo Marx! He said I'd look like Harpo Marx! And I do! When he does get home, he opens the door and is greeted by a woman with half blond, half brunette hair.
It was a pretty wonderful image, very funny.
Why? What is that? I got to go to pieces in front of him and tell him what madness drove me to this act.
Honey, why? Why? Well, yesterday morning, and I kissed you, and you said, "Don't do that.
" And you came down to breakfast in your yucky shirt! How sorry I was and how stupid I was but he did seem to not be giving me very much attention, and so on, and I got to cry.
And I prepared very well for that crying scene.
And a gray hair! And Harpo Marx! And the general yuckiness! Honey! For Joan Rivers, the first big break on the "Tonight Show" led to dozens of opportunities to appear on TV.
Every time, she was breaking new ground for women on television, talking about topics that were previously taboo.
I was 8 months pregnant, and on the Sullivan show they said, "you can't mention 'pregnant.
'" I'm like, I'm a house! I'm a tent with a bow! And I had to come out and say, "Mr.
Sullivan, pretty soon I'll be hearing the pitter patter of little feet.
" You wanna know the truth? You know how lousy you feel.
At night when I'm undressed, my husband looks at me and mentally dresses me.
All the critics talked about was, how dare a pregnant woman come on stage.
I remember saying it on the Carson show, and Carson said, "How did it go?" "Well, my water broke and my dog drown, but otherwise it's fine.
" And there was a gasp, but then a laugh.
Joan Rivers wasn't just making America laugh, she was pushing the limits of women and comedy, and inspiring a new generation of comic talent.
It was so genius.
What was great about Joan Rivers is that she was going in this direction that was totally new, totally irreverent, that just didn't care about anybody but the audience.
Her kind of approach to jokes, which is, seems to me oftentimes to be saying the thing that people were thinking and not saying, was, at the time, was kind of thrilling and innovative.
She was just talking about things that nobody would say but everybody was thinking, and that's really amazing.
Joan eventually began filling in for Johnny Carson on the "Tonight Show," and soon landed one of the most coveted jobs in television comedy Johnny's permanent guest host.
Rivers felt she was no threat to Johnny.
She believed NBC would never allow Carson to be replaced by a woman.
Very smart.
It was again no competition to him because he knew from the beginning they would never give it to a woman.
Very smart of him.
When Joan Rivers got her own late night show, she and Johnny Carson had a major falling out.
I called him, he hung up; I called him again.
And he never spoke to me again, ever.
I would see him in a restaurant.
He still wouldn't talk to me.
Mean.
What do you want? Joan Rivers wasn't the only female standup appearing on television, but it was a very small group.
Totie Fields broke through in the early 1960s, with a larger-than-life, self-deprecating style.
Then I had to get the stretch pants.
Stretch pants? Actually, any pants I put on, I stretch out.
Perhaps the best-known standup of the era was Phyllis Diller.
I once had a peekaboo blouse.
And people would peek, then they'd boo.
I was hot as a pistol at that time, as you may well believe.
And it was still my old face.
As with previous standups, the logical next step for Phyllis Diller was starring in a sitcom or variety show.
Phyllis did both, and both failed.
Primarily because neither show reflected Phyllis Diller's unique comic persona.
Everything was wrong.
They had a big dancing number always, and I'm not a dancer, but the director was a dancer.
That meant a great deal to him.
I couldn't do it.
â« They're making music to watch girls by â« â«Oohâ« â« Music to watch girls by â« â«Oohâ« â« Music to watch girls by â« â«Oohâ« â« Music to watch girls by â« Phyllis Diller never did find a weekly television format to show off her talents.
Lucille Ball had the opposite situation.
Three successful sitcoms in a row made her the most popular funny lady in America for decades.
I think she was very funny.
Things like the candy factory and Vitameatavegamin.
Those are precise, excellent, just fantastic pieces of comedy.
Speed it up a little! Lucy's attention to detail was renowned in the business she never forgot her comedic training, a style of performing that required repeated rehearsals, until it was perfect.
She said to the cameraman, literally, "Harry, that looks like it's 2 1/2 inches off.
" And he says, "Lucy, Lucy, it's just where it was.
" And she said she's tough "Measure it! It's 2 1/2 inches off.
" It was about 2 1/2 she knew! She doesn't stop at anything! A new doctor moved into the neighborhood, right? Mama found out he was single and an orthopedic surgeon.
You know what she did? Closed the piano lid right on my fingers.
Sure, easy for you to laugh, you're lucky, you're a widow! Perhaps Lucille Ball's greatest strength was her comic fearlessness.
She was all-in on every bit and always willing to take the pie.
Like Lucy says, you got to take the pie in the face at some point.
She always played the wacky, crazy thing, and she took the pie literally.
I let 'em have it! Drop it! Drop it! On the floor? No, let me have it.
Okay.
On her first sitcom, Lucy's husband, Desi Arnaz, managed the production, staff, and scripts, so Lucy could focus on performing.
But when the couple divorced, Lucy, reluctantly, had to take a larger role.
So one morning, when a script wasn't right, Lucy had to take action.
Lucy did go back after lunch and told them in no uncertain terms how they had to fix that script and it better be done by tomorrow morning or you're out She was strong.
And she took a sip of her drink and she said, "And, kid, that's when they put the s on the end of my name.
" The only woman on television whose physical comedy skills compared to Lucille Ball was Carol Burnett.
After 7 years on Garry Moore's show, CBS offered Carol a sitcom, but she declined.
She wanted to do a variety show.
This is what I do best.
This is what I love.
I love music, I love sketches.
I love having guest stars and I wanted a rep company like Sid Caesar had.
"The money would then go to my equally disgusting nephew, Theo Grubber, in the event of Bosco's death.
" I'm sure there wasn't much there in the first place.
Carol's secret to 11 years of success was letting others shine.
One of the most important things that I learned from Carol is that you are as good as the people that surround you.
And she just was very much, "Fly, baby, fly," and very proud of you.
She accepted every contribution of a line or a thought or a thing, from everybody.
Bob Mackie, I got an idea for a dress.
We'll put this curtain rod in here, and you'll say, "I saw it in the window and I just couldn't refuse it.
" Scarlett, I love you.
That that gown is gorgeous.
Thank you.
I saw it in the window and I just couldn't resist it.
Because it was taped as if it was live, the Carol Burnett show had a unique sense of spontaneity.
Tim Conway especially took advantage of that opportunity.
I knew what I was going to say.
But they didn't know what I was going to say.
I would write a script, and I would put in my lines as one thing.
When we did the show, I did something totally different, which kind of, I imagine, threw them from time to time.
Not so much Carol, very tough to break her up, but Harvey, being a poor performer, was very easy to destroy.
I'll just give you a little shot here.
We'll be right with you.
And the audience was looking forward to that each week, too.
They can't wait till Tim was going to make Harvey laugh.
Imagine being Harvey "He's not gonna make me laugh tonight.
" A lot of people thought those were staged breakups.
They weren't.
Harvey just had such a weak spot for Tim's humor.
Tim would never do it to the ink.
You know, he was always doing something else.
You know, throwing a line out.
Trying to get me to laugh.
Uh, Dear Mr.
Delmar.
In the regards to your letter of the 25th You'd see me as Mrs.
Wiggins sometimes doing this a lot.
Looking at the nail.
I was biting my finger to keep from laughing.
I feel that the original reply is in keeping with the policy.
The director was winging it, and the audience knew, and it was gold, what he did.
He was just brilliant.
When I first did the old man, they had never seen that old man before.
They just said, "You'll come through the door as an old man.
" Okay, so I just walked naturally kind of, but when we taped it, I walked that slowly.
I'll take it with me.
4 minutes! I'll be right there.
Will you hurry up?! get all excited all the time! You yell at me And as I was walking, people were laughing.
But I said, if they don't cut this, this is going to go about a half-hour.
I'll get a bead on you now.
Oh, really? Mm-hmm.
Is that so? I see.
Okay.
Adding to the sense of spontaneity was the show's unique opening segment Carol answering questions from the audience.
At first, Carol wasn't sure about the idea.
I said, "I can't do that.
" First of all, I'd be scared that nobody would ask anything.
Second, I'd be scared they would.
How old am I? That's all the time we have now.
How old do you think I am? And be careful.
26, you're right.
Right up here.
And I'll never forget that first taping.
I was just all over the place.
Gawky, scared, everything.
Then once the show started to air I started having fun with it.
How do you get to the ladies' room? Do you have to go? Come on up here.
Sure, come on.
Yeah.
In the series' most enduring sketch, Vicki Lawrence played the stern Mama character, with Carol as the more emotional Eunice, characters that echoed Burnett's difficult childhood.
I'm an old woman with a few short years left.
The Mama character was written for her, but it was Eunice that spoke to her.
Go on, go on, just tell her what happened that night.
That I went with you, and then later on, we had to get married! I get your drift, Eunice.
Welcome to the club.
Oooh! Carol Burnett pointed out that there are no jokes in those sketches.
It is all just this brittle behavior, and all the laughs come from the kind of tension and the painfulness of the way they treat each other, which is just really good writing.
One of these days they're going to lock you up.
Oh, lay off of me, will ya? You ain't playin' with a full deck, Eunice.
I think somebody blew your pilot light out.
Good writing, great casting, and a beloved funny lady at the center.
Those were the ingredients that made "The Carol Burnett Show" succeed for more than a decade.
And the same formula worked for "The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
" CBS came to me and said, "We would like you to do a situation comedy of your own.
" â« You might just make it after all â« Mary Tyler Moore occupied a special place in the American mind.
She was the all-American girl, the sister, daughter, or friend everyone wished for.
She was their Mary.
They wanted to shield her from life's mighty arrows.
And that's a wonderful quality for any performer to get from an audience, their wanting to take care of you because they love you.
I was kind of that woman.
You know, I was that person.
I grew up in a very conservative household, and I went to a private girls school, and you behaved in a certain way, and it was second nature to me, so I didn't feel that separate from the character I was playing.
The producers encircled Mary with a group of supporting players who rank among the best television has ever seen Ed Asner, Valerie Harper, Ted Knight, Betty White, Gavin McCloud, John Amos, and Cloris Leachman.
The show where Valerie has lost her job as a window dresser.
And she'S in Mary's apartment day and night, night and day, 24/7, I'm just sick of it.
I'm just sick of it! Mary, you're not doing her any favors encouraging her in this life of sloth! Oh, come on, Phyllis, she's not slothy! Mary, as her friends, we owe it to her to straighten her out.
We have to force her to take a good, hard look at herself.
We have to shake her up, we have to slap some sense into her! And there she has a big hair dryer on her head, a big, inflatable hair dryer and a big long hose.
Rhoda And I pick up the hose and I say, "RHODA!" I scream.
RHODA! And she goes, "Ohhh!" What? What? What? Everybody loved that show and so did I, it was fun.
"The Mary Tyler Moore Show's" most acclaimed episode involved the death of Chuckles the Clown.
What happened, Lou? Who died, will you tell us? Chuckles.
Chuckles the Clown is dead.
It was a freak accident.
He went to the parade dressed as Peter Peanut.
And a rogue elephant tried to shell him.
On paper, the Chuckles episode ran 5 minutes short, but once the story was performed for a live audience, the show came out the right length, thanks to laughter.
So I went out there, where the first scene was with Murray, and he starts telling one-liners about "born in a trunk, died in a trunk.
" Lucky more people weren't hurt.
Lucky that elephant didn't go after somebody else.
That's right.
After all, you know how hard it is to stop after just one peanut.
And with each one, I laughed, belly laughed, like I had never laughed on camera before.
That's not funny, Murray And it infected the audience.
And we added a minute in that scene.
And that same process just kept going, adding minutes throughout the show.
What did Chuckles ask in return? Not much.
In his own words, "A little song, a little dance" a little seltzer down his pants.
By the end of the performance, we had amassed our missing 5 minutes.
Because her character was the most popular career woman in America, Mary Tyler Moore was pressured to join the 1970s feminist movement.
But when activist Gloria Steinem tried to recruit Mary Tyler Moore, the actress resisted.
I believed that women, and still do, have a very major role to play as mothers.
It's very necessary for mothers to be involved with their children.
And that's not what Gloria Steinem was saying.
Gloria was saying, "Oh, you can do everything.
And you owe it to yourself to have a career.
" And, uh I didn't really believe in that.
Rather than give public speeches, Mary Tyler Moore moved the culture in more subtle ways, through her show.
Her character was an independent woman working in a traditionally male field.
Mary Richards hoped to find a husband, but that quest didn't define her.
She was a new kind of woman for American television, an important role model for a new generation.
What religion are you? Uh, Mr.
Grant, I don't quite know how to say this, but you're not allowed to ask that when someone's applying for a job.
It's against the law.
Wanna call a cop? No.
Good.
Would you think I was violating your civil rights if I asked if you're married? Presbyterian.
There was a night of TV that was Mary Tyler Moore, and it was sacred night, and that would be the thing that, if I ever did get in trouble, that would be what was withheld from me.
Like, "You're not going to be able to watch Mary Tyler Moore.
" "What?!" I think that only happened maybe once.
I don't know what I did.
But no, that show was big, big deal, yeah.
When she came on, it changed America.
So many women have told me it changed their lives, made it possible for them to work themselves.
Over the show's 7-year run, Mary Tyler Moore solidified her place as America's sweetheart.
Her polite, mannered persona made her the perfect foil for a wide range of eccentric characters.
Phyllis, when I first read the script, was neurotic.
Eventually it turned out, I think, that I was "the sure, firm touch on the wrong note.
" Confident.
Proud of all the things you shouldn't be proud of.
Did you know the male bee is nothing but the slave of the queen, and once the male bee, how should I say, has serviced the queen the male dies? All in all, not a bad system.
I was playing a very mean character.
It was a hospital scene where she was having her tonsils out, and I was a very crusty lady, and I took Mary on and I dished it out to her.
I was horrible to her.
Listen, I was just wondering which bed you'd like.
Either one is fine with me.
You know, if there is anything I love, it is long debates concerning bed assignments when I am standing here on crutches! Right, yes, well, I'll take this bed.
Unless you'd rather What difference does it make? You're right, yes.
I'm, uh, Mary Richards.
Wonderful.
Can I help you? I can do it myself.
I got hate mail from that show.
I received "Hey, how dare you treat our Mary in that manner?" I wanted to say, "Folks, I'm paid to say those words.
I think Mary is wonderful.
I'm with you!" "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" wasn't the first sitcom to feature an independent career woman.
Four years earlier, Marlo Thomas starred in "That Girl," playing an aspiring single actress in New York.
You have just won the privilege of being turned down after you audition for me.
Oh, I have? Oh, Mr.
Benedict! You mean I'm going to audition for you? I mean, after I'm turned down after the audition! I'm so excited You remind me of a windup toy.
Now take this script with you and study the scene on page 18 the phone conversation between Florence and Albert.
You want me to play Florence? Of course you want me to play Florence, I'll be Florence.
I was expressing how I felt and what I thought young women would want to see, because that's what I would want to see.
We were the first.
Then the shows that came after it built beautifully on it.
Ann Marie never really got a good job, and Mary Richards was a successful reporter at a news station.
Arguably, TV's very first funny lady was Gertrude Berg, who produced, wrote and starred in "The Goldbergs.
" In 1951, Gertrude won the very first Emmy award for best actress, beating out fellow nominee Betty White.
Betty was nominated for a project called "Life with Elizabeth.
" Nobody remembers "Life With Elizabeth.
" They weren't born when "Life with Elizabeth" was on.
I'm helping? Yes, you're helping.
Hold this, please.
Cup your hands.
There you are.
Put your hands together.
Um Like this.
Pose them in there like that.
Tighten up.
You got it? How's that? All right? Uh-huh.
Good.
What are you going to call this one? I think I shall call that, ahem I shall leave you at this point, Elizabeth.
That's a funny name for Oh, no.
Alvin, you wouldn't! Good night, Elizabeth.
Alvin, you couldn't do a thing like this! Alvin! Of all the funny ladies on television, no one has had a longer career playing a wider variety of roles than Betty White.
She's hosted talk shows and game shows, even reality shows.
Acted in soaps, dramas, and sketch comedy shows.
And starred in a half-dozen sitcoms.
Somebody forgot to plug in the oven.
Well, I guess that just goes to show that anybody can make a mistake, even your happy homemaker.
Now, don't you go away.
We'll be right back after this commercial message.
All clear.
All right, who the hell is responsible for this? There were several "Betty White Shows," and finally, the last one, I wanted to call "Yet Another Betty White Show," but they wouldn't hold still for that.
Every time her career seemed to wane, Betty would recapture that national spotlight, on Mary Tyler Moore's show in the '70s, the "Golden Girls" in the '80s, and "Saturday Night Live" in 2010.
I love Betty.
We got to do a week at SNL with Betty.
And it was inspiring just to see, one, that her timing was just rock solid still.
Her ability to work.
She would go home every night to the hotel, and I'd say, "How was your night last night, Betty?" She was like, "Good, I went back to the hotel.
I had vodka and a cold hotdog.
" Like that, that's the secret, I guess.
Every funny lady of television has her own unique secret formula, a dash of comedy, a measure of likability, and an extra portion of personality.
Television for women has always been a better place.
We knew it was something very good and something innovative.
I am so happy when I'm performing.
I am truly happy when I'm that's it.
I thought acting was just fun, I still think it's just fun.
I'm the luckiest old broad on two feet.
This is where I belong.
Done.
I'd like to be remembered as being funny and making people laugh and feel better.
I truly believe that laughter is the best medicine.
Together, they rank among the most beloved women in history.
They are the pioneers of television.
I always forget that I'm supposed to be funny in things like this.
And I think the people who are standups remember that they're always supposed to be funny.
Um, and I'll just, blah-blah-blah I think the people who have faced the audience alone so often, toured as standups, just know like, "I gotta kill every time.
I gotta kill every time.
" Um and that's burdensome.
I never thought I was going to be paving any way for anybody.
iAy, caramba! Charo! You have to tell the truth, that's what comedy's all about.
Today, kids have drugs and sex and nervous breakdowns.
It was a lot different in my day.
We had to go out and find our own fun.
She didn't care about anybody but the audience and making them laugh, and it was so genius.
Look, miss, I was just about to have a drink and I wouldn't mind some company.
Want one? No, thank you.
I really wanted to be able to express myself.
I said I wouldn't mind some company.
Well, all right, I'll have a Brandy Alexander.
I think she was very funny.
You know, things like the candy factory and Vitameatavegamin.
The answer to all your problems is in this little old bottle.
Those are precise, excellent, just fantastic pieces of comedy.
Lucy Ball, Carol Burnett look at what they did for young women.
We have young women doing comedy today that wouldn't have done it without those two women.
They opened doors for women everywhere.
You can get laughs while making a point.
Can I get you a drink? Yes, thank you.
A Scotch.
Neat.
Don't worry, you'll get a clean glass.
But sometimes you're doing something you never dreamed you'd do in our silly business.
Come sit beside me.
More than anything, they entertained us.
We never broke up on purpose.
Never.
I was at this freak show one time and I, I saw these Siamese elephants.
I'm not a funny person.
I'm silly as hell, but I'm sorry, but this is a very critical time.
Well, I'm sorry, this Is a very critical time for me, too! Together, they redefined the role of women in comedy.
Isn't it exciting work we do? Hot-diggity-dog! They are the pioneers of television.
From a very early age, all of television's funny ladies imagined a journey to stardom.
But no one came further than Carol Burnett.
Raised by her grandmother in a tiny one-room apartment in this Hollywood tenement building, her hopes of fame seemed like an impossible dream.
We used to climb the Hollywood sign.
The "O" s were my favorite.
I would climb up on the "O" s and go, "Hollywood, I'll beat you yet!" Oh, we had more fun.
In her early 20s, Carol followed her dream to New York.
But her fantasy of singing on Broadway wasn't coming true.
I remember once I was at an audition and it was narrowed down to another girl and me.
And she got the part.
And I just said to myself, it was her time.
It wasn't my time, it was her time to get that job.
My time will come.
Carol Burnett's time finally did come, thanks partly to this man, John Foster Dulles.
As the U.
S.
Secretary of State, Dulles was perceived as a serious policy expert, and perhaps the most boring man in America.
We worked out a declaration that the treaty does not in any way give effect to the Yalta agreement, which some people feared might be the case.
So, when Carol sang a song idolizing John Foster Dulles, it caught the nation's attention.
â« I made a fool of myself â« â« Over John Foster Dulles â« He was really dull.
And so, it became a funny song because it was a takeoff on all the girls at that time who were crazy about Elvis.
â« The third time I saw him 'twas at the UN â« â« Oh, I never had been one to swoon over men â« â« But I swooned and the drums started pounding and then â« â« I made a fool of myself â« â« Over John â« â« Foster Dulles â« Over the course of a few days, Carol sang the song on network television three times.
Within a week, Carol Burnett was a household name.
"I'm in Love with John Foster Dulles.
" She made Life magazine with it, and she became a known person.
John Foster Dulles, which got everybody's attention.
She had a natural, great contralto voice and the face and the body and the everything for comedy.
I mean we all knew that something was going to happen with Carol.
Like Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers also had dreams of stardom, from the very beginning.
From the time I was 3 years old and could put thoughts together, that was it.
I sat in a movie theater in Brooklyn and I'm sitting there thinking, "This is a mistake.
I should be up there she should be watching me.
Let her eat the goo-goos.
" Young Joan Rivers fought her way into obscure amateur plays, but paying acting jobs eluded her.
When she learned about a comic who had made $6 a night, she was intrigued.
Six dollars a night doing comedy.
That's more than I was making as a Kelly Girl.
I went to see him and I thought, "I can do that.
This is stupid.
That's nothing, I can do that.
" And that's how I started little did I know.
Before long, Joan was in Chicago, on stage at Second City, building her comic repertoire, honing the skills that would make her a television star.
A lot of people get into bed and watch television.
Edgar always takes a book to bed, which is terrific on my wedding night.
Are you ready for that one? Second City changed my life.
To this day, everything I do on stage is out of Second City.
It's a great way to spend your 20s.
It's just really fun, and it opens people up creatively.
It makes you a better risk taker in general.
Eventually Joan Rivers found herself in Los Angeles, working the comedy clubs, hoping for that one shot on Johnny Carson's "Tonight Show" that could make her a star overnight.
For seven years, the "Tonight Show" bookers passed.
Seven years and they would come and they would say things like, they would always say, "There's a very funny girl down there, you should see her.
" Then they'd say, "Too rough, too wild, talking about things a woman shouldn't talk about.
" Finally, Johnny Carson opened his door to Joan Rivers and gave her a shot on the "Tonight Show.
" Carson and I clicked.
He got me immediately.
Immediately.
And on the air, he said to me, "You're going to be a star," and it still gets me.
1, 2 Mary Tyler Moore's plans for stardom began in a dance studio.
As a teen, she practiced every day.
But in Hollywood, her dreams faced a major obstacle.
I was a chorus dancer.
I wanted to be a star dancer, but they weren't making that many musicals anymore.
But Mary Tyler Moore had a combination that was rare in Hollywood.
She was both beautiful and vulnerable, the idealized, fresh-faced "girl next door.
" I was very lucky because I had kind of an All-American face and demeanor.
And I was easily cast in small roles, but then that's where I got my experience.
Small acting jobs came quickly for Mary Tyler Moore, but they didn't bring fame.
Stuck in supporting roles, Mary Tyler Moore considered leaving show business altogether.
At one point, she took a test to determine what other jobs she might be good at.
And it was three days of testing.
And at the end of it, the result was that I would be best suited for work either as a model or a member of the armed forces.
When she heard Carl Reiner was casting a new sitcom, Mary Tyler Moore didn't even want to try for the part.
After all, Reiner was interviewing dozens of more experienced actresses for the role of Laura Petrie, like Pat Crowley.
I did meet with Carl Reiner at his house.
That was something I would love to have done.
I would love to have done "The Dick Van Dyke Show.
" Carl Reiner's staff called Mary, but she still didn't think it was even worth auditioning.
And I was feeling very sorry for myself.
And I was having coffee with a girlfriend.
And she said, "Well, that's ridiculous, you just put that cup down and get in the car and go over and interview for this," 'The Dick Van Dyke Show.
' And I did.
And Carl Reiner just looked at me with a kind of a look of awe on his face.
He communicated to me right away that I was going to get that role.
Getting that first big role, it wasn't easy for Mary Tyler Moore or Carol Burnett or Joan Rivers.
But the obstacles were even larger for a woman of color.
Throughout the 1930s, '40s and '50s, one of the highest-paid standup comics in America was an African-American woman, Jackie Mabley, but no TV show would book her until the late 1960s, near the end of her career.
And ugly He was so ugly, honest to goodness, he hurt my feelings.
Even in the 1970s, women of color still faced challenges breaking into television.
Nearly everyone on TV was white and young.
Anyone who didn't fit the mold faced skepticism.
When I first started, they said, "Well, what makes you think you can do it? You're not beautiful, you're not young.
Young girls are having a hard time.
" I said, "Somebody's got to be the aunt, somebody's got to be the mother, why not me?" After years of rejections, Marla Gibbs landed a small role in a single episode of "The Jeffersons.
" She had just one big line, and how she delivered it would change her career.
You live in this apartment, right? Uh-huh.
And you've got an apartment in this building, too? Yes, that's right.
Well, how come we overcame and nobody told me? The role reminded me so much of my grandmother and my aunt, so I delivered it the way they would have.
And it just went over very big.
Marla Gibbs parlayed that one appearance into a regular starring role on one of TV's longest running sitcoms, "The Jeffersons.
" Florence, get the door.
You told me to stay in the kitchen.
Get the door! Just because you're a boss don't mean you've got to be so lazy.
You're closer to the door than I am.
You could have it opened, answered, and shut before I even got near it! Eventually Marla Gibbs became the first African-American woman to have creative control over her own sitcom, "227.
" She wasn't afraid to take charge.
They have a joke, they said, "Marla, you picked this joke and we like this joke better.
" I said, "Do you? You know what we're going to do? We're going to take some scissors and we're going to cut that joke out and give it to you and you can take it home and keep it forever.
" At first they'd say And just where do you think you're going, young lady? Just over to the park, Mama.
Calvin wants to show me where he goes when he wants to think about things.
Huh.
Must be a very small place.
America's most beloved funny lady came to television with more comedy experience than almost anyone before, or since.
Lucille Ball was nearly 40 when "I Love Lucy" premiered, with two decades of comic roles on her resumé, playing opposite The Marx Brothers, Abbott and Costello, Red Skelton, the Three Stooges, and Bob Hope.
Oh, I'll never forget Lady Cunningham's hair.
She had me comb it in a huge bun on the top of her head.
It was very striking.
How uninteresting.
Everywhere she went, people would say, "There goes Lady Cunningham, she's the one with the bun on.
" Ha ha! They were quaint folk.
Lucy's skill for getting laughs was no accident.
She was formally trained in the precise art of physical comedy in her early days at MGM.
As Lucy told it, Rags Ragland and Buster Keaton were under contract to MGM.
Their job really was to take the young contract players and teach them comedy.
And the first things that those gentlemen would do was tell them to take a prop.
Learn that prop so it's an extension of your body.
And Lucy was the most excellent example of someone who could handle a prop and made it artistry.
She was amazing.
So she learned her lessons very, very well, from two masters of physical comedy.
She would say something like, "Okay, the punch line is gonna be, I'm going to say, 'Eat the pie.
' Count to three before you answer me, because that's how long the applause will take, or that's how long the laugh will take.
" She was right! In the '30s and '40s, Hollywood presumed that for a woman to be funny, she'd have to make herself unattractive.
But Lucille Ball rejected that stereotype from the beginning.
Lucille Ball was beautiful.
Nobody remembers that.
If you look at the early films of Lucy Ball, she was always a knock-down- drag-out-gorgeous lady.
Sometimes she was dramatic, sometimes she was comedic, but she could have done anything she wanted to.
What Lucy wanted to do in 1950 was keep her husband close to home.
A bandleader, Desi Arnaz traveled the country to perform.
But if he starred with Lucy in a weekly TV show, the couple could spend more time together.
On October 15th, 1951, "I Love Lucy" premiered.
Look, Lucy, Monday's Fred's anniversary and he wants to go to the fights.
Well, Monday's Ethel's anniversary, too, and she wants to go to a night club.
Fred is not going to go to any stuffy night club.
Well, Ethel's not going to any stale fight.
Lucy, don't push me too far.
It's the fights or nothing.
Well, is that final? Final.
You brought this on yourself.
Ethel wants a divorce! Good.
No, she doesn't! Before "I Love Lucy" premiered, Betty White was already on the air with her sitcom, "Life with Elizabeth," premiering in 1951.
Let's try it again.
1 That's pretty.
1, 2 Must be a cheap lens.
Well, let's take it once more.
All rightie.
Nice and pretty.
1, 2 Oh, Elizabeth, for goodness' sake.
Honey, that's not nice.
Jiminy crickets.
"I Love Lucy" started shortly after we started, and we had about $1.
95 for a budget for each show.
We played against sort of a flat background.
We had a couch and a couple of living room chairs.
And Lucy came in and all of a sudden, they knew how to do it.
Unlike her contemporaries, Betty White's career actually began in television, in the 1940s.
Her first job was a local show in Los Angeles.
We were on six days a week, five and a half hours a day.
No script, no anything.
It was like going to television college; it was wonderful.
At ease in front of the camera, Betty quickly developed skills behind the scenes as well, emerging as one of the first women to produce a national television show.
That was so, so before the women's movement that I don't think we even thought of it.
I never even thought of it being a different, a different gender, it was just you did whatever the job was and whatever job you could get.
In addition to starring in two sitcoms, Betty White hosted talk shows, produced an "American Idol" style amateur hour, appeared on game shows, and regularly guested on Jack Paar's "Tonight Show," and this was all before 1960.
The funny ladies of television weren't satisfied with their first 15 minutes of fame.
After capturing the nation's attention, they all honed their skills in front of a national audience, week after week.
The training ground for Carol Burnett was "The Garry Moore Show.
" Isn't it natural? It looks so real, you can almost reach out and touch it.
Watch it! Watch what? "The Garry Moore Show," naturally, over most of these CBS stations.
I learned so much from Garry Moore.
Carol, I would like you to meet Robert Goulet.
Must I? Robert, this is Carol Burnett.
Charmed.
Tally-ho.
Uh, I must say, I saw you in your show, uh "Camelot"? Did you like it? Oh, you were wonderful! You were so gorgeous! He was beautiful! He played Sir Lancelot.
And he was a knight in shining armor.
Oh, I wish I'd had a can opener! Before "The Garry Moore Show," Carol Burnett hadn't done much comedy.
She'd planned to become a singer, but here, on this variety show, she found her calling.
Give me a chance at this job.
I'll do anything to get this job.
Anything.
I'll even have a beer with ya after we knock off work, whaddya say? Ehhh! So I fell into the comedic thing.
I never really thought I would ever do comedy, like we did, at all.
Then I thought, I like to hear the laughs.
Because Garry Moore's show was live, anything could happen, a perfect training ground for comedy improvisation.
I'm a queen who thinks for herself.
Kiss me.
Whoa! Madame! You fell off your throne.
Watch it! Mary Tyler Moore learned her craft on "The Dick Van Dyke Show.
" In the first episode, she hadn't quite mastered comedy and was instead trying to imitate her favorite movie star.
The thing about Mary Tyler Moore, she was 23 when she came on the show and had never done any comedy.
I think she visualized herself as a kind of Katharine Hepburn.
And I fancied myself a young Katharine Hepburn about the time that we started "The Dick Van Dyke Show.
" And if, in a rerun, you watch the right episode, you'll catch me up on saying things like, "Oh, darling!" You're not going to fix me any breakfast, are you? But, darling, I offered to fix you breakfast! All right, have your fun.
Enjoy yourself.
Within a few weeks, she grabbed it.
The timing came.
She just got it so quickly that I'm still fascinated by how fast she grew on that show.
Early on, producer Carl Reiner saw Mary's talent for comedy and wrote an episode to bring out her skills.
After dyeing her hair blond, Mary tried to dye it back before her husband got home.
Rob, do you really like my hair? I mean, really like my hair? Honey, I love your hair.
Well, honey what if I were a blonde? Would I be as attractive to you if I were a blonde? Uh I can't picture you as a blonde, honey.
No, wait a minute, yes, I can.
You know who you'd look like? Who? Harpo Marx! He said I'd look like Harpo Marx! And I do! When he does get home, he opens the door and is greeted by a woman with half blond, half brunette hair.
It was a pretty wonderful image, very funny.
Why? What is that? I got to go to pieces in front of him and tell him what madness drove me to this act.
Honey, why? Why? Well, yesterday morning, and I kissed you, and you said, "Don't do that.
" And you came down to breakfast in your yucky shirt! How sorry I was and how stupid I was but he did seem to not be giving me very much attention, and so on, and I got to cry.
And I prepared very well for that crying scene.
And a gray hair! And Harpo Marx! And the general yuckiness! Honey! For Joan Rivers, the first big break on the "Tonight Show" led to dozens of opportunities to appear on TV.
Every time, she was breaking new ground for women on television, talking about topics that were previously taboo.
I was 8 months pregnant, and on the Sullivan show they said, "you can't mention 'pregnant.
'" I'm like, I'm a house! I'm a tent with a bow! And I had to come out and say, "Mr.
Sullivan, pretty soon I'll be hearing the pitter patter of little feet.
" You wanna know the truth? You know how lousy you feel.
At night when I'm undressed, my husband looks at me and mentally dresses me.
All the critics talked about was, how dare a pregnant woman come on stage.
I remember saying it on the Carson show, and Carson said, "How did it go?" "Well, my water broke and my dog drown, but otherwise it's fine.
" And there was a gasp, but then a laugh.
Joan Rivers wasn't just making America laugh, she was pushing the limits of women and comedy, and inspiring a new generation of comic talent.
It was so genius.
What was great about Joan Rivers is that she was going in this direction that was totally new, totally irreverent, that just didn't care about anybody but the audience.
Her kind of approach to jokes, which is, seems to me oftentimes to be saying the thing that people were thinking and not saying, was, at the time, was kind of thrilling and innovative.
She was just talking about things that nobody would say but everybody was thinking, and that's really amazing.
Joan eventually began filling in for Johnny Carson on the "Tonight Show," and soon landed one of the most coveted jobs in television comedy Johnny's permanent guest host.
Rivers felt she was no threat to Johnny.
She believed NBC would never allow Carson to be replaced by a woman.
Very smart.
It was again no competition to him because he knew from the beginning they would never give it to a woman.
Very smart of him.
When Joan Rivers got her own late night show, she and Johnny Carson had a major falling out.
I called him, he hung up; I called him again.
And he never spoke to me again, ever.
I would see him in a restaurant.
He still wouldn't talk to me.
Mean.
What do you want? Joan Rivers wasn't the only female standup appearing on television, but it was a very small group.
Totie Fields broke through in the early 1960s, with a larger-than-life, self-deprecating style.
Then I had to get the stretch pants.
Stretch pants? Actually, any pants I put on, I stretch out.
Perhaps the best-known standup of the era was Phyllis Diller.
I once had a peekaboo blouse.
And people would peek, then they'd boo.
I was hot as a pistol at that time, as you may well believe.
And it was still my old face.
As with previous standups, the logical next step for Phyllis Diller was starring in a sitcom or variety show.
Phyllis did both, and both failed.
Primarily because neither show reflected Phyllis Diller's unique comic persona.
Everything was wrong.
They had a big dancing number always, and I'm not a dancer, but the director was a dancer.
That meant a great deal to him.
I couldn't do it.
â« They're making music to watch girls by â« â«Oohâ« â« Music to watch girls by â« â«Oohâ« â« Music to watch girls by â« â«Oohâ« â« Music to watch girls by â« Phyllis Diller never did find a weekly television format to show off her talents.
Lucille Ball had the opposite situation.
Three successful sitcoms in a row made her the most popular funny lady in America for decades.
I think she was very funny.
Things like the candy factory and Vitameatavegamin.
Those are precise, excellent, just fantastic pieces of comedy.
Speed it up a little! Lucy's attention to detail was renowned in the business she never forgot her comedic training, a style of performing that required repeated rehearsals, until it was perfect.
She said to the cameraman, literally, "Harry, that looks like it's 2 1/2 inches off.
" And he says, "Lucy, Lucy, it's just where it was.
" And she said she's tough "Measure it! It's 2 1/2 inches off.
" It was about 2 1/2 she knew! She doesn't stop at anything! A new doctor moved into the neighborhood, right? Mama found out he was single and an orthopedic surgeon.
You know what she did? Closed the piano lid right on my fingers.
Sure, easy for you to laugh, you're lucky, you're a widow! Perhaps Lucille Ball's greatest strength was her comic fearlessness.
She was all-in on every bit and always willing to take the pie.
Like Lucy says, you got to take the pie in the face at some point.
She always played the wacky, crazy thing, and she took the pie literally.
I let 'em have it! Drop it! Drop it! On the floor? No, let me have it.
Okay.
On her first sitcom, Lucy's husband, Desi Arnaz, managed the production, staff, and scripts, so Lucy could focus on performing.
But when the couple divorced, Lucy, reluctantly, had to take a larger role.
So one morning, when a script wasn't right, Lucy had to take action.
Lucy did go back after lunch and told them in no uncertain terms how they had to fix that script and it better be done by tomorrow morning or you're out She was strong.
And she took a sip of her drink and she said, "And, kid, that's when they put the s on the end of my name.
" The only woman on television whose physical comedy skills compared to Lucille Ball was Carol Burnett.
After 7 years on Garry Moore's show, CBS offered Carol a sitcom, but she declined.
She wanted to do a variety show.
This is what I do best.
This is what I love.
I love music, I love sketches.
I love having guest stars and I wanted a rep company like Sid Caesar had.
"The money would then go to my equally disgusting nephew, Theo Grubber, in the event of Bosco's death.
" I'm sure there wasn't much there in the first place.
Carol's secret to 11 years of success was letting others shine.
One of the most important things that I learned from Carol is that you are as good as the people that surround you.
And she just was very much, "Fly, baby, fly," and very proud of you.
She accepted every contribution of a line or a thought or a thing, from everybody.
Bob Mackie, I got an idea for a dress.
We'll put this curtain rod in here, and you'll say, "I saw it in the window and I just couldn't refuse it.
" Scarlett, I love you.
That that gown is gorgeous.
Thank you.
I saw it in the window and I just couldn't resist it.
Because it was taped as if it was live, the Carol Burnett show had a unique sense of spontaneity.
Tim Conway especially took advantage of that opportunity.
I knew what I was going to say.
But they didn't know what I was going to say.
I would write a script, and I would put in my lines as one thing.
When we did the show, I did something totally different, which kind of, I imagine, threw them from time to time.
Not so much Carol, very tough to break her up, but Harvey, being a poor performer, was very easy to destroy.
I'll just give you a little shot here.
We'll be right with you.
And the audience was looking forward to that each week, too.
They can't wait till Tim was going to make Harvey laugh.
Imagine being Harvey "He's not gonna make me laugh tonight.
" A lot of people thought those were staged breakups.
They weren't.
Harvey just had such a weak spot for Tim's humor.
Tim would never do it to the ink.
You know, he was always doing something else.
You know, throwing a line out.
Trying to get me to laugh.
Uh, Dear Mr.
Delmar.
In the regards to your letter of the 25th You'd see me as Mrs.
Wiggins sometimes doing this a lot.
Looking at the nail.
I was biting my finger to keep from laughing.
I feel that the original reply is in keeping with the policy.
The director was winging it, and the audience knew, and it was gold, what he did.
He was just brilliant.
When I first did the old man, they had never seen that old man before.
They just said, "You'll come through the door as an old man.
" Okay, so I just walked naturally kind of, but when we taped it, I walked that slowly.
I'll take it with me.
4 minutes! I'll be right there.
Will you hurry up?! get all excited all the time! You yell at me And as I was walking, people were laughing.
But I said, if they don't cut this, this is going to go about a half-hour.
I'll get a bead on you now.
Oh, really? Mm-hmm.
Is that so? I see.
Okay.
Adding to the sense of spontaneity was the show's unique opening segment Carol answering questions from the audience.
At first, Carol wasn't sure about the idea.
I said, "I can't do that.
" First of all, I'd be scared that nobody would ask anything.
Second, I'd be scared they would.
How old am I? That's all the time we have now.
How old do you think I am? And be careful.
26, you're right.
Right up here.
And I'll never forget that first taping.
I was just all over the place.
Gawky, scared, everything.
Then once the show started to air I started having fun with it.
How do you get to the ladies' room? Do you have to go? Come on up here.
Sure, come on.
Yeah.
In the series' most enduring sketch, Vicki Lawrence played the stern Mama character, with Carol as the more emotional Eunice, characters that echoed Burnett's difficult childhood.
I'm an old woman with a few short years left.
The Mama character was written for her, but it was Eunice that spoke to her.
Go on, go on, just tell her what happened that night.
That I went with you, and then later on, we had to get married! I get your drift, Eunice.
Welcome to the club.
Oooh! Carol Burnett pointed out that there are no jokes in those sketches.
It is all just this brittle behavior, and all the laughs come from the kind of tension and the painfulness of the way they treat each other, which is just really good writing.
One of these days they're going to lock you up.
Oh, lay off of me, will ya? You ain't playin' with a full deck, Eunice.
I think somebody blew your pilot light out.
Good writing, great casting, and a beloved funny lady at the center.
Those were the ingredients that made "The Carol Burnett Show" succeed for more than a decade.
And the same formula worked for "The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
" CBS came to me and said, "We would like you to do a situation comedy of your own.
" â« You might just make it after all â« Mary Tyler Moore occupied a special place in the American mind.
She was the all-American girl, the sister, daughter, or friend everyone wished for.
She was their Mary.
They wanted to shield her from life's mighty arrows.
And that's a wonderful quality for any performer to get from an audience, their wanting to take care of you because they love you.
I was kind of that woman.
You know, I was that person.
I grew up in a very conservative household, and I went to a private girls school, and you behaved in a certain way, and it was second nature to me, so I didn't feel that separate from the character I was playing.
The producers encircled Mary with a group of supporting players who rank among the best television has ever seen Ed Asner, Valerie Harper, Ted Knight, Betty White, Gavin McCloud, John Amos, and Cloris Leachman.
The show where Valerie has lost her job as a window dresser.
And she'S in Mary's apartment day and night, night and day, 24/7, I'm just sick of it.
I'm just sick of it! Mary, you're not doing her any favors encouraging her in this life of sloth! Oh, come on, Phyllis, she's not slothy! Mary, as her friends, we owe it to her to straighten her out.
We have to force her to take a good, hard look at herself.
We have to shake her up, we have to slap some sense into her! And there she has a big hair dryer on her head, a big, inflatable hair dryer and a big long hose.
Rhoda And I pick up the hose and I say, "RHODA!" I scream.
RHODA! And she goes, "Ohhh!" What? What? What? Everybody loved that show and so did I, it was fun.
"The Mary Tyler Moore Show's" most acclaimed episode involved the death of Chuckles the Clown.
What happened, Lou? Who died, will you tell us? Chuckles.
Chuckles the Clown is dead.
It was a freak accident.
He went to the parade dressed as Peter Peanut.
And a rogue elephant tried to shell him.
On paper, the Chuckles episode ran 5 minutes short, but once the story was performed for a live audience, the show came out the right length, thanks to laughter.
So I went out there, where the first scene was with Murray, and he starts telling one-liners about "born in a trunk, died in a trunk.
" Lucky more people weren't hurt.
Lucky that elephant didn't go after somebody else.
That's right.
After all, you know how hard it is to stop after just one peanut.
And with each one, I laughed, belly laughed, like I had never laughed on camera before.
That's not funny, Murray And it infected the audience.
And we added a minute in that scene.
And that same process just kept going, adding minutes throughout the show.
What did Chuckles ask in return? Not much.
In his own words, "A little song, a little dance" a little seltzer down his pants.
By the end of the performance, we had amassed our missing 5 minutes.
Because her character was the most popular career woman in America, Mary Tyler Moore was pressured to join the 1970s feminist movement.
But when activist Gloria Steinem tried to recruit Mary Tyler Moore, the actress resisted.
I believed that women, and still do, have a very major role to play as mothers.
It's very necessary for mothers to be involved with their children.
And that's not what Gloria Steinem was saying.
Gloria was saying, "Oh, you can do everything.
And you owe it to yourself to have a career.
" And, uh I didn't really believe in that.
Rather than give public speeches, Mary Tyler Moore moved the culture in more subtle ways, through her show.
Her character was an independent woman working in a traditionally male field.
Mary Richards hoped to find a husband, but that quest didn't define her.
She was a new kind of woman for American television, an important role model for a new generation.
What religion are you? Uh, Mr.
Grant, I don't quite know how to say this, but you're not allowed to ask that when someone's applying for a job.
It's against the law.
Wanna call a cop? No.
Good.
Would you think I was violating your civil rights if I asked if you're married? Presbyterian.
There was a night of TV that was Mary Tyler Moore, and it was sacred night, and that would be the thing that, if I ever did get in trouble, that would be what was withheld from me.
Like, "You're not going to be able to watch Mary Tyler Moore.
" "What?!" I think that only happened maybe once.
I don't know what I did.
But no, that show was big, big deal, yeah.
When she came on, it changed America.
So many women have told me it changed their lives, made it possible for them to work themselves.
Over the show's 7-year run, Mary Tyler Moore solidified her place as America's sweetheart.
Her polite, mannered persona made her the perfect foil for a wide range of eccentric characters.
Phyllis, when I first read the script, was neurotic.
Eventually it turned out, I think, that I was "the sure, firm touch on the wrong note.
" Confident.
Proud of all the things you shouldn't be proud of.
Did you know the male bee is nothing but the slave of the queen, and once the male bee, how should I say, has serviced the queen the male dies? All in all, not a bad system.
I was playing a very mean character.
It was a hospital scene where she was having her tonsils out, and I was a very crusty lady, and I took Mary on and I dished it out to her.
I was horrible to her.
Listen, I was just wondering which bed you'd like.
Either one is fine with me.
You know, if there is anything I love, it is long debates concerning bed assignments when I am standing here on crutches! Right, yes, well, I'll take this bed.
Unless you'd rather What difference does it make? You're right, yes.
I'm, uh, Mary Richards.
Wonderful.
Can I help you? I can do it myself.
I got hate mail from that show.
I received "Hey, how dare you treat our Mary in that manner?" I wanted to say, "Folks, I'm paid to say those words.
I think Mary is wonderful.
I'm with you!" "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" wasn't the first sitcom to feature an independent career woman.
Four years earlier, Marlo Thomas starred in "That Girl," playing an aspiring single actress in New York.
You have just won the privilege of being turned down after you audition for me.
Oh, I have? Oh, Mr.
Benedict! You mean I'm going to audition for you? I mean, after I'm turned down after the audition! I'm so excited You remind me of a windup toy.
Now take this script with you and study the scene on page 18 the phone conversation between Florence and Albert.
You want me to play Florence? Of course you want me to play Florence, I'll be Florence.
I was expressing how I felt and what I thought young women would want to see, because that's what I would want to see.
We were the first.
Then the shows that came after it built beautifully on it.
Ann Marie never really got a good job, and Mary Richards was a successful reporter at a news station.
Arguably, TV's very first funny lady was Gertrude Berg, who produced, wrote and starred in "The Goldbergs.
" In 1951, Gertrude won the very first Emmy award for best actress, beating out fellow nominee Betty White.
Betty was nominated for a project called "Life with Elizabeth.
" Nobody remembers "Life With Elizabeth.
" They weren't born when "Life with Elizabeth" was on.
I'm helping? Yes, you're helping.
Hold this, please.
Cup your hands.
There you are.
Put your hands together.
Um Like this.
Pose them in there like that.
Tighten up.
You got it? How's that? All right? Uh-huh.
Good.
What are you going to call this one? I think I shall call that, ahem I shall leave you at this point, Elizabeth.
That's a funny name for Oh, no.
Alvin, you wouldn't! Good night, Elizabeth.
Alvin, you couldn't do a thing like this! Alvin! Of all the funny ladies on television, no one has had a longer career playing a wider variety of roles than Betty White.
She's hosted talk shows and game shows, even reality shows.
Acted in soaps, dramas, and sketch comedy shows.
And starred in a half-dozen sitcoms.
Somebody forgot to plug in the oven.
Well, I guess that just goes to show that anybody can make a mistake, even your happy homemaker.
Now, don't you go away.
We'll be right back after this commercial message.
All clear.
All right, who the hell is responsible for this? There were several "Betty White Shows," and finally, the last one, I wanted to call "Yet Another Betty White Show," but they wouldn't hold still for that.
Every time her career seemed to wane, Betty would recapture that national spotlight, on Mary Tyler Moore's show in the '70s, the "Golden Girls" in the '80s, and "Saturday Night Live" in 2010.
I love Betty.
We got to do a week at SNL with Betty.
And it was inspiring just to see, one, that her timing was just rock solid still.
Her ability to work.
She would go home every night to the hotel, and I'd say, "How was your night last night, Betty?" She was like, "Good, I went back to the hotel.
I had vodka and a cold hotdog.
" Like that, that's the secret, I guess.
Every funny lady of television has her own unique secret formula, a dash of comedy, a measure of likability, and an extra portion of personality.
Television for women has always been a better place.
We knew it was something very good and something innovative.
I am so happy when I'm performing.
I am truly happy when I'm that's it.
I thought acting was just fun, I still think it's just fun.
I'm the luckiest old broad on two feet.
This is where I belong.
Done.
I'd like to be remembered as being funny and making people laugh and feel better.
I truly believe that laughter is the best medicine.
Together, they rank among the most beloved women in history.
They are the pioneers of television.
I always forget that I'm supposed to be funny in things like this.
And I think the people who are standups remember that they're always supposed to be funny.
Um, and I'll just, blah-blah-blah I think the people who have faced the audience alone so often, toured as standups, just know like, "I gotta kill every time.
I gotta kill every time.
" Um and that's burdensome.