Plan Coeur (2018) s01e05 Episode Script

The Party Plan

1 Your girlfriend's birthday - great idea.
- But keep a low profile, please.
- Sure, I'm just your roommate.
- And your colleague at work.
- [Jules.]
We're kind of like Pinky and the Brain.
You know, a real team, man.
They're going to be impressed.
Especially if they're fans of Dead Poets Society.
- "O Captain! My Captain!" - For real? That's the Dead Poets and Pirates Society.
Hey, teaching on a frigate.
Pirates by night poets by day.
- OK, no pirates.
- [Jules.]
- OK, no Dead Poets Society, either, fine.
- Thank you.
Surprise! Not bad, but peppier, OK? Philippe? Happy face.
Matthieu? Be less depressed.
Charlotte? Do the meerkat.
Ten minutes, kids! I don't get why we're going.
You say you never see my friends because of her.
Here's an occasion.
- Stay near me, OK? - Of course.
Ah - [Milou.]
- [laughs.]
Hi! - Wow.
I love your style.
- Thanks.
Good for you for having no shame in your game.
- [Gaïa.]
I mean, in your current condition.
- That's really tight, huh? - And sparkly.
- Yeah, Katarina Witt.
Figure skating? Olympic champion in '84 and '88? The '80s, guys! The party's theme.
Well, the theme before someone changed it without telling me.
"Walk of shame" is better! Cell phones in the bowl here, we have Polaroid cameras to take photos.
'80s style! - [Max.]
Seriously? - [Milou.]
Yeah! [Charlotte.]
Champagne for the gorgeous Gaïa, here you go! - Drink up! Walk of shame! - It's the '80s! - But still in the '80s! - Walk of shame! [Charlotte.]
Cheers to us! - Coats over there, follow me.
- [phone chimes.]
Ah! Ah, Antoine.
"I'm coming.
" It's about time! [shouts.]
Nine minutes! Time to hide! [sighs.]
He's fucking with me.
- [buzzer.]
- [woman.]
I'm making an effort here.
- Having dinner with your father - [gasps.]
Damn! [whispers.]
Oh, damn it! No! - [Elsa.]
Mom, don't start with that.
- Open, open, it's me! Know what? I have an idea, let's go back downstairs.
Two floors up and down for your butt.
To build some muscle.
- Come on, I'm fine! - Yes, you need it, hop-hop-hop! - Let's go! - "Hop-hop-hop" Not hop-hop-hop this way, for real.
Because if not, we'll be early to the [falters.]
- Oh, no.
- It's OK, don't worry, Mommy.
- I can fake it.
- I'm sorry, darling.
- Come on! - I'm so sorry.
- Open the door! - [Elsa.]
Don't worry about it.
Three, two, one - [all shout.]
Surprise! - [shouts.]
No! [Milou sighs.]
[slightly less enthusiastic.]
Surprise - Oh, wow - [Charlotte laughs.]
- Oh, wow, guys, you are crazy! - [Matthieu.]
I'll pick out the tunes.
[forced laughter.]
- [gasps.]
I was not expecting that at all! - [Charlotte.]
Really? - Not at all.
- Yeah, really? Give me your coat and cell phones go in the bowl.
OK, sounds good! - [Charlotte.]
Louder, Matt! - Yes! [music volume increases.]
So happy to see you! You OK? Aw, look at you, so cute! [laughs.]
["Toi mon toit" by Elli Medeiros.]
- [Elsa.]
- [doorbell.]
Hi! - [door slams.]
- [muffled music.]
You sure you're invited? [doorbell.]
[music volume increases.]
Hey, you! [giggles.]
- Happy birthday, angel! - Thanks, Daddy.
Hold on.
I'm going to take a photo.
Stay here.
A bit closer.
- Like that? - [Elsa.]
Yeah! [Charlotte.]
Elsa, come on, time for a quick pic! Photo! - Yeah! - [Elsa giggles.]
- Everybody in? - It's all good! [Milou.]
OK, OK, to the left.
- One, two, three - Waikiki! [Charlotte.]
Look at Gaïa in the photo.
- [Charlotte.]
Oh, my God, where did she go? - You're such a bitch! Here we go.
OK, great! Careful Here we go! Hop-hop! [doorbell rings repeatedly.]
[heavy knocking and doorbell.]
- Uh, are you OK? - Careful, guys, the bouncer is my sister.
And the young man you see there? He's the traitor in our group.
Cell phones go in the bowl.
- What about your class? - [Milou.]
Where were you? - See, I still managed to come.
- [Milou.]
You're drunk.
- Hello, I'm Roman, pleasure.
- [Antoine.]
Guys! - [Charlotte.]
Nice to meet you.
- This Taliban here is my girl.
Not my wife, girlfriend.
Because we are not married.
I was with some people and I fucking smoked, and I smoked a lot.
- That's enough.
- [Antoine.]
Happy birthday to you! - [Antoine.]
Whoo! - [Elsa.]
Yeah Oooh! He's so drunk That's right.
- So happy to see you guys here.
- Good evening.
I'm Roman, my pleasure.
Nice to meet you.
Ah! I invited them, uh, just in case you guys maybe thought about throwing a surprise party for me without telling me because I was really not expecting that.
- So that's why I thought - [Milou.]
We'll get to know each other.
Too cute! - That's right, you're too cute.
- [Elsa.]
Oh, that's adorable! You guys already get along.
Matthieu went this way? - Yeah - [Antoine.]
I'm going to find that traitor.
[music continues.]
Antoine, don't make a scene, not at Elsa's party! I want to kill him.
Come on, please, for once think about me.
No, Antoine! Really, not now.
Please, come on! [music fades.]
You are an asshole.
But I got used to the idea.
Got used to the idea of what? Got used to what? - To us, I think.
- To us? Like, us, as in you and me? Like, uh, heart shape, cuddles, a couple? [gags.]
- Ah, really, like [gags.]
- [Charlotte.]
Yeah, it's a trap! [laughs.]
- We go pretty well together, right? - "Pretty well together"? Wait, wait, wait.
Leggings with Converse go well together but I also like wearing jeans, see? No, I don't really see, no.
Well, basically, I don't care if you see other girls.
Am I interrupting? - No, not at all, we're talking fashion.
- Awesome, great.
Operation eviction.
I take care of the whore, you take care of Harry Potter.
Well, Henri Pottier.
[dance music.]
So, it turns out you you're a teacher too? - Good eye.
- Ah-ha.
The velvet jacket helped you guess, right? - That's his classic touch.
- Ah Because I teach Latin, actually.
Ah Oh In elementary school? - Uh Yeah, because they're - Can I borrow him for a minute? - Something the birthday girl can't know.
- OK! [Milou.]
Come on.
Ah, want to grab a a beer? - Veni, vidi, vici.
- [Elsa laughs uncomfortably.]
Latin I like Elsa, I don't need to be paid to be here.
Listen, I'd like to believe what you're telling me, really.
Different context, I could think you're a nice guy Wait, you booked me because you love her, right? Yeah.
So, now, no one expected this situation, so let her choose, damn it! But you're a Frankenstein of pussy! A big fat lie with green eyes.
- [Jules sighs.]
- You're not a real man.
This is going to destroy her, you understand that? Because you guys don't feel guilty about anything? Come on, if Elsa ever finds out, you two would be fucked.
Yes, we'd all be fucked.
But some more than others.
[muffled music.]
We'll find out.
Hey, oh, I'm not saying that just to be a pain to you.
I get that you want to fit in, be included in our group.
But you'll never be like us.
[muffled music.]
[door opens and volume increases.]
- [Roman.]
I'm a dancer originally.
- [Charlotte.]
Oh, really? Excuse me.
They have to stop doing coke in the bathroom.
I need to pee now! - I know but - Stop teasing him, kick him out! [cheering.]
The chick with Matt, "Miss Jersey Shore," passionately curious, what's her deal? She came with Cédric, she's his cousin.
She lives in London as well.
She didn't dress for the theme.
- She did.
- She's not in theme.
- Bitch, not in theme! Hello! - She is - She's not, it's the '80s! - Ah, now we're back to the '80s? [Charlotte.]
She's not in theme.
Alright, now, you're kicking him out.
[dance music.]
When I'm at the office I cover all the basics Don't even need to think about this Hot boy in mechanics I fake it all day long And ain't nobody gonna Gonna hold me down And ain't nobody gonna Gonna hold me down - [woman laughs.]
- [man hums along.]
You weren't dancing as much before we got divorced.
Just saying.
Actually, know what? I don't care.
Of course.
Thirty years.
You must have failed at something.
- I don't know what but - [dad.]
What are you implying? I don't know but do you know any 30-year-old still living with her father? You're smothering her by keeping her so close.
Listen, this is her night, get off her back, OK? Come on, cheers! Well, I work in a searching center.
- In a research center, you mean? - That's it, exactly.
OK, so, you have a PhD in quantum physics but you teach Latin in elementary school? - [Elsa.]
That's frustrating, no? - That's just super weird, isn't it? [Roman.]
Hm, in Roman times, there were kids too.
Well, I mean, that's so dope! Latin is so romantic! [Charlotte laughs loudly.]
Bottoms up! [laughs loudly.]
Whoo, I love it! [rhythmic dance music.]
[Charlotte laughs loudly.]
- Seriously? - Who gives a fuck? [Elsa giggles.]
What? Ashamed of me? No! No, no, not at all, but that's It's just new for me, that's all.
Same for me, it's very new.
- [distant cheering.]
- Wait.
I've got something for you.
- A gift! - Uh Wow A pig? For Miss Piggy.
Ah! That's so cute.
Well, the gift is inside.
Ah! - Aw, so cute! It's a flash drive! - [laughs.]
No! I mean, yes, yes, but the gift is really inside.
- Ah, OK.
- You'll see, it's quite homemade but it's for you.
Don't mind me, really! - [mom laughs.]
- [Elsa clears her throat.]
Ah [Elsa.]
Uh, Mommy, I Well, this is Jules.
This is great! Look at that, darling.
Look what I did for you.
A nice birthday cake.
[mom laughs.]
Here it is.
And I'm sure you're going to like it because it's only 130 calories per piece.
So you won't gain weight because at your age, you've got to be careful! Right? [chuckles.]
You're OK, Jérôme? [chuckles.]
You guys, have fun! That's great! - [mom chuckles.]
- Your mom's nice.
You OK? Yeah, that's just not a photo of me.
Really? Who is it? My sister, Anaïs.
You know, the one that is so much more [Jules.]
Ah, I see.
You know what? I really like your mom but this cake looks fucking gross, right? [fridge door opens.]
- [Elsa gasps.]
- [Jules.]
Here we go.
I found the right place and if we're hungry, well, there, we have pizzas, right? Oh, you see, with Cha and Milouze, it's our tradition: two toppings, three girls, six pieces.
Wow And I eat both toppings.
[music fades and people boo.]
And I think you're beautiful.
[new dance song comes on.]
Hey, lovebirds! They are so cute! [electronic dance music.]
[music continues.]
- [muffled music.]
- Five, four, three, two, one - [Antoine.]
Ta-da! - [Jules laughs.]
- [Antoine.]
See that? Told you.
- [Jules.]
I'll hang out with you boys.
Well, I'm not sure that's good for the baby.
- That's not good at all.
- Here.
OK [footsteps retreat.]
Seems a bit tense between you two.
What about you, with Elsa? Is it serious or? Because she introduced you to her parents, you know.
And knowing Elsa, that's something.
You're good at pressuring as well.
Man, talking about pressure, you can't even imagine this shit.
These days, I'm struggling to deal with that.
Because it's not about dealing - it's about unwinding.
My solution is boxing on Sundays at five, 8th arrondissement.
Swing by if you want.
Alright, please, everyone be quiet for a sec! Elsa! Our birthday girl, Elsa, is expected in the living room! - [Elsa.]
Oh, my gosh! - [Charlotte.]
Yeah Milou! - That's so official! - [Charlotte.]
You are the queen tonight.
Milou! [Charlotte.]
So, we actually lied to you, your birthday fund was loaded with money, isn't that right, Milou? Yeah, totally! So we wanted to give you a present that's like you, a present with a lot of heart.
- You know, something generous.
- [Elsa.]
Oh - You guys are nuts! - [Charlotte chuckles.]
Yeah, nuts - [Charlotte laughs.]
- [Elsa.]
Oh - A cow? - [Charlotte.]
No, a wildebeest! Rescued from being killed.
It's Caroline! [Charlotte.]
Now you're her godmother.
How dope is that, huh? [silence.]
Well, thanks to everyone.
And you're the "wilde-best"! That's the last time I give to a birthday fund.
[music resumes.]
Twelve hundred bucks, goddammit! Caroline makes more money than me! Milou should marry her.
- You pitched in? - Caroline! - Thank you, my friends! - Whoo! - That's awesome! - Hey, you'll need to write to her.
- You think? - What? No! - It's a wildebeest, you can't - Hm.
- [Max.]
You're good, sweetie? - [Elsa.]
Awesome! [Elsa.]
A wildebeest! [laughs.]
- [Antoine.]
It's love! - Right, OK - [female voice.]
Woohoo! - [Elsa.]
Ah, um, excuse me.
So, you're a middle-school teacher at Joan of Ark, right? Yep.
Wasn't it renamed Simone Veil last year? It was.
Of course.
I'm still not used to it.
You teach with shoes that cost a grand? They were a gift.
That wasn't my question.
Just know that I find good deals.
Does your ugly friend also find good deals for his limited-edition Jordans? - [Antoine.]
Well, his moves aren't ugly.
- [Matthieu.]
Yeah, right.
He should calm down a bit.
[electro house song plays.]
[all cheer.]
[male voice.]
Whoo! [Antoine.]
Come on! Didn't we meet before? [Jules.]
Uh, I don't think so.
Hey, man, the girl over there.
She's smoking hot.
No, even better.
She's on fire, baby.
Pshh! Hey, take it easy.
Take it easy.
Because we are your friends You'll never be alone again Well, come on Well, come on Well, come on Well, come on Because we are your friends You'll never be alone again Well, come on Well, come on Well, come on Well, come on Well, come on Well, come on Well, come on Well, come on [muffled music.]
Alright, that's enough.
Get off me! And if the baby came right now, what would you do? Huh? Pray she doesn't break my balls like you.
What? [phone chimes.]
Who are you texting now? [women laughing.]
[dance music.]
Thanks for inviting us.
I'm sorry about the other day.
I think I was a bit direct.
Yeah, we're even.
With you, I've never been the queen of finesse.
- Ah.
- Not to be mistaken with fitness.
Oh, such a bad joke! Anyway, I'm happy to be here.
You mean a lot to me.
- Say what? - You mean a lot to me.
[music continues.]
- I'm tired, can we go? - What? Come on, babe, it's only 11.
Elsa is turning 30.
- Yeah, but you promised me - For once we're going out, Gaïa.
Come on.
- [Gaïa.]
I'm leaving.
Do whatever you want.
- [Charlotte laughs loudly.]
[dance music continues.]
Ah! [Charlotte laughs loudly.]
[Charlotte laughs loudly.]
I'm sorry, this is not going to happen.
[dance music continues.]
Thank you.
It's not much but I figured that you would like it.
Uh [Elsa.]
You didn't have to.
- [Max.]
Should I open it? - [Elsa.]
Yeah, sure.
- May I put it? - Yeah.
Uh Thank you.
[dance music continues.]
You know what? I don't belong here.
Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you, Elsa Happy birthday to you! [clapping and cheering.]
Where is Jules? - I don't know.
- Alright, blow! [exhale blends into eerie silence.]
[door unlocks.]
[Jules through computer.]
Hey, Elsa.
Um This is a song I wrote for you, for your birthday.
[familiar drums.]
So, I hope you like it.
Well happy birthday.
["Ta Katie t'a quitté" by Boby Lapointe drum sample.]
Your Katie chucked you out Your Katie chucked you out Your Katie chucked you out Your Katie chucked you out [laughs.]
[electronic chords added.]
I'm feeling you closer Oooh, so close to me I'm feeling you [driver.]
Coming back from work, young lady? Or maybe you're going? [scoffs.]
[phone chimes.]
I'm feeling you closer So close to me TRYING NOT TO THINK ABOUT YOU SO WATCHING NETFLIX.
- NOT TOO DRUNK? So close to me I'm feeling you closer So close to me I'm feeling you closer Since you are gay, what's great about you is how you are so open-minded.
That's why, don't hesitate, Chantal.
I'm a great opportunity for you.
Kind of like a new experience.
You see what I mean? Chantal? Wait for me, Chantal.
Chantal? [Roman.]
We can also just be friends.
That's no problem.
- [Chantal.]
OK but shut up, alright? - [Roman.]
Let's get an Uber.
[remix continues.]
I'm feeling you closer So close to me I'm feeling you closer [Charlotte sobs.]
I'm sorry [sobs.]
So close to me So close to me [music fades.]
I did something horrible to Elsa.
[remix resumes.]
[remix turns into theme tune.]