Plan Coeur (2018) s02e02 Episode Script

The Llama Plan

1 - I'm not sure so this is a good idea.
- What? - Moving in together.
- Sure it is! - (Elsa) Shoot! - (Julio) You OK? - (Elsa) Wait, no, my gnu, my gnu! - (Julio) You're OK.
- Is the wildebeest OK? You sure? - Yeah, it's fine.
- Thank you.
- What about you? I'm good.
You know, I'm thinking that if they're too cheesy, we could get a small den for the two of us.
- What do you think? - Are you serious? - Yeah, I'm serious.
- Oh, I'm touched.
- I'm really serious.
Come on.
- Let's go.
- (chime) - Wait! Damn.
Dammit! Wait, help me get my phone.
- There.
Oh! - All good? Yeah.
Oh Oh, shoot.
(Julio sighs) Who is it? Oh, it's nothing.
It's just a thing with the girls.
Hmm, sure.
(Elsa) Wait a sec, what do you mean "sure"? (Julio) Weren't you supposed to stop seeing them? (Elsa) I wasn't.
I wasn't planning on answering if that's what you (Elsa sighs) I mean, come on, a couple doesn't have to tell each other everything! - It's not such a big deal.
- Does he know you're working with Max? You really have a knack for always getting into trouble, Elsa! No, I don't! Trouble gets into me.
You got to believe me, Chantal! - No, no, no.
You're just like my Apricot.
- (Elsa) Uh, your apricot? My cat.
- Ah - So, she had found a second home, right? Two bowls, two baskets, and best of both worlds, right? - (Chantal) Well, look how that ended.
- Oh, but I'm not planning on ending I'm not ending up like Apricot.
I Not at all.
I'll manage.
- I swear I will manage.
- (Chantal) Yeah.
- Yeah.
- That's what she said as well.
Before jumping from the sixth floor.
(upbeat music) Come on, look up.
Boom! Now it sticks.
- There you go, not bad.
- All right, come here.
(Max grunts and groans) Open your mouth.
But wider.
- Nearly done? - (Milou) Yeah.
- (Charlotte sighs) - Ugh, I'm bleeding, for sure.
A bit of tack Careful - Hey! - (music stops) - What was that for? - Just because.
OK, now, if you make a wrong move, we'll give you a password.
- "Llama.
" Llama's perfect, yeah? - Sure.
Now, come on, try something, um manly.
- Go ahead.
- OK.
"You look quite lovely, Elsa.
" - Ugh, no, manly sucks.
- Yeah, you know what? Don't do anything.
- (girls) He doesn't get the plan.
- (Max) Quit it.
We're on the same team.
- (Charlotte) Oh - Oh, my God, what is that portrait? (Milou) That picture is horrible.
- That's my Zaza.
- (girls) Ugh.
A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES (theme tune) THE LAME PLAN THE CRAZY PLAN THE BOOTY PLAN THE HOOK-UP PLAN (sexy music) Huh? Max? Hey, Max! Ah! I didn't see you there.
Just getting some sun.
(music continues) Makes me feel like going out to sea.
(music fades) - You smell good.
- You look quite lovely, Elsa.
(Elsa) Uh Well, actually, about that, I (Elsa) Wait, no.
No, no, no.
No, stop.
Well, I wanted to tell you about the plant nursery.
I think it's better if we don't work together, OK? No, no.
You're saying that because you're scared.
No, no, I'm saying that just because I'm not feeling it.
- Come on - What are you doing? Come on, this project was made for you, it's a social thing, and I'm gonna stop confusing professional and personal, OK? No, I swear! Even now, if you felt like kissing me - Ugh, come on.
- We don't work together yet.
- So, if you really want to - Surprise! - (Elsa) Hey! Char! - We are going to stick together, girl! (Elsa) How so? Because the three of us are going to work together in the long run.
- All the time.
All the time! - Yeah! OK, but, um I I'm not sure I'm getting it.
Well, we're going to be partners.
Pinkars! All of us, working together.
Oh, but no.
Oh, no, no, no.
No, because it's all about women from poor neighborhoods, you know.
Well, I'm from Metz, they're rough on women.
Besides, I looked at her finances, they're terrible.
She won't last without the nursery.
I've never seen anything so terrible.
- Oh, come on! Don't exaggerate! Hey, oh - No! No, but Chach, it's it's not really possible.
Please? Can you help me? I need you.
- (soft intro) - (Charlotte sighs) (upbeat music) Good morning, Julio Saldenha here.
I wanted to know if, uh, you received my demo? Yeah? Oh, OK.
Great, I'll call back later.
Good morning, Julio Saldenha.
I wanted to know if you received my demo? Hello, Julio Saldenha.
Julio Saldenha.
Good mor Yeah, I'll call back later.
- OK, I'll call back.
- (car horn) Pardon me? Yes? Oh! Oh, but that's great.
Yeah, yeah, that's OK.
Thanks a lot.
(Julio chuckles) Yes! Woohoo! - Hey! - It's always the same Please put your hands together, people, for the great savior of Pinkars who managed to find us an office on a boat! - Penis barge! - (Matthieu) I have to go.
Charlotte just got back.
She's singing about a penis barge.
- Penis barge! Penis, penis, penis! - Boner on a boat! - I Talk later.
- Penis barge, penis barge! Hey, calm down.
Relax, please.
We haven't won yet, so Oh, come on, what are you doing here besides sulking all day? I'm giving my best to this company, I even wrote a song! "Penis barge.
" Isn't it awesome, huh? I mean, what did you do all day? Talk to yourself? Um, I Well, Charlotte, I'm not even sure I'll stay.
- (Matthieu) I mean - What? (Matthieu sighs) I have an interview that's in Berlin next Monday.
I talked to them on Skype, and they want a second interview.
- Brand-new luxury store.
- But what about me? - It's a bad time.
What about my dreams? - I know, but I need to protect myself.
Yeah, sure, um You're right.
Live your life.
Go ahead.
Leave me here and go lick some Kraut's big ass.
I don't give a shit, anyway.
It (familiar drums) (Matthieu) I'm sorry.
- I'm feeling you closer - Thanks.
- Oh - (Julio) Rachel? - Oh, so close to me - Hey, long time no see Jules Dupont.
- That's not my name anymore.
- (music continues) - And I'm done with all that.
- (Rachel) OK.
That's fine.
I'm done, too.
- It's been a while since I paid for sex.
- Good for you.
Because I've moved on.
I'm a musician.
And I've met someone.
So, if you called me for Of course not.
How could I have known you were Julio Saldenha? Now, sit down.
Look, your demo is great.
I'm organizing a live musical springboard for rock/electro at the Point Éphémère, this weekend.
One group cancelled, so wanna play? Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
Of course.
No, I'm sorry, but just so we're clear.
It's just that - My past is behind me, so - No problem.
All that I want is music from you.
- That's it.
- (Julio) OK.
- Yeah, it's awesome, but it's - (music fades) it's still annoying that all of your actual music fans are people who used to have sex with you.
Well, it's still an opportunity, um Don't you think? Well, do I have a choice? - Well, yeah.
Sure, Elsa.
- (chime) It is an amazing chance for me to go on stage, play my songs MAXIME: SO GLAD TO WORK WITH YOU And, I mean, it can happen to anybody to work with the wrong people.
Well, yeah.
You're right.
It can happen to anybody to work with the wrong people, but but - Do you trust me? - (Elsa) Yes! (upbeat music) I'LL BE THERE ASAP.
I I trust you.
(CHARLOTTE: IT'S URGENT, COME ON! MAXIME: MEETING AT MY PLACE REAL SOON;) (music continues) Look, um (clears her throat) I have to I have to go.
I have But I'll unpack these, I promise.
- I'll take care of it as soon as I can.
- OK, sounds good.
- OK? See you.
- Bye, babe.
- Love you.
- Me too.
Hey, guys.
- Hey, are you OK? - Hello.
So, we were talking about the banner and the expenses.
So, compared to what's written here, for me, it doesn't work.
- Oh, we were - Subcontracting expenses.
- (chime) - (Charlotte) 18K goes to 21K.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Just like that.
- It's Stéphanie, one of my coworkers.
- Stéphanie - Well, I was just going to show you.
- I agree.
Actually, I have to - Later.
- (Charlotte) Later.
I'M ON MY WAY - Thanks.
- Sorry.
I'm sorry.
- Did you forget the time? - Sorry.
No, but I had - I have to go.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I love you! (music continues) (Milou laughs) Surprise! - Hey! - So happy to see you! - Elsa? Let me show you something.
- (gurgling) (girls) Oh! - What do you think? - Yeah? We should do it.
By the way, look at your business plan.
I don't understand what you did between line two and even here, actually.
(Charlotte) From year to year, you take 6,400 and 7,500 which means there's an increase.
- Look, that's what I had in mind.
- Yeah, OK, that's so mean.
Well, obviously, it's your style.
- (both laugh) - (Eddy cries) - (Max) It looks good, right? - (Elsa) Yeah, it does.
(Eddy cries) (Elsa sighs) I have to go.
Oh, yeah.
- I'm really late.
- Wait, Elsa.
We need to do this before tomorrow.
Yeah, it's really important.
- But it can - It won't take long.
(upbeat music continues) - OK, but I won't be able to stay long.
- (Max) It won't take long, promise.
(music turns Eastern) (gong rings) (birdsong) Barge? (Elsa sighs) Yeah, it's coming along but it's giving me a hell of a lot of trouble.
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean that.
My bad.
Peach? Apricot? No, not apricot.
(Elsa sighs) Jimmy, can you help me? He says to devote yourself.
That's what I'm doing! Preserve.
You also have to preserve time for important things.
- (Piotr) Naked.
- (gong rings) - (Jimmy) Naked? - (chimes) Naked.
So, you have to get naked, don't be afraid to hurt yourself.
Sometimes, it sucks or it's hard, but trust me.
Remember the reason you're here, don't forget why you're doing this.
- (Elsa) Ah! Why am I doing this? - Why are you alive, really? - Yes? - You're here for a reason! In the end, in the great book of tales, there is your line and your name.
- (Piotr and Jimmy) There is you.
- (gong rings) What a genius.
(Elsa laughs) But So, just make room for the things that are actually important.
Um Look, uh, I'm going to make room.
I'll be back.
I'll be right back.
(soft intro) (romantic music) - Hey! - Hi.
(Elsa sighs and giggles) Oh, my glasses.
Shit! (Elsa giggles) All good.
(labored breathing) (Elsa whispers) OK, let's go, then.
(music fades) (Julio sighs) - You know, I missed you.
- (Elsa giggles) Yeah, I do, too.
We've barely seen each other.
That's because I've been working too much.
That's why.
(Elsa sighs) But tomorrow, after your gig - Hmm? - we'll stay out a while.
- Oh, yeah? - We'll make some time just for us, OK? - Yeah.
- Agreed? - I'm glad that you're coming.
- Me too.
- Be on time.
I need you.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I promise! I'm not always late, believe me.
- No? - No.
- That doesn't sound like you at all.
- Not at all.
- Where are you going? - I want to unpack my boxes.
- Right now? Seriously? - (Elsa) Yes, right now.
- Not right now.
- Yes.
- No! - Yes! - Get back here.
- Why? Because I still want you.
Wait! Stay right there! Why doesn't she ever answer me? She has time, she doesn't have a kid! - You want gray? - (Milou sighs) With Charlotte again.
(Milou) Are they trying to make me have FOMO or what? Well, I think ocher is better, hmm? Yeah, but gray is classic.
I wanna work on the plant nursery.
Huh? With the wedding and a baby without day care, it seems complicated.
- You're right, I'm sure I could.
- Well, no, I'm saying you couldn't, Milou.
Then, I need a nanny.
- (Antoine scoffs) A nanny? - Mm-hmm.
I thought you wanted to breastfeed him for 26 months? Well, hey, I'm trying to be flexible for once, so be glad.
By the way, that's not ocher, it's yellow! What are you, blind? - Well, it's a matter of opinion, no? - Well, no.
It's a matter of vision.
I've developed a real connection to babies.
Through games, through massages.
- Everything is enlightenment.
- Not bad.
(Milou scoffs) "A real connection to babies"? But even I think she's dumb, so imagine Eddy.
And otherwise, to clean the baby, what do you use? - Baby wipes.
- (Milou) Wipes? And rat poison, too? I love to sing lullabies in Italian.
I find it calms them a lot.
(sings in Italian) - Oh, too bad! We don't speak Italian.
- (Antoine) It doesn't matter, Milou.
It matters.
If I don't speak Italian, he doesn't, so she doesn't, OK? Ciao! Washable diapers are better for the earth.
- (girl) They are a bit messy, but - Really? - Well, a bit, yeah.
- But they're not.
- They are.
- (girl) Ah.
- (Milou) They're not! No! - Yes, they're a bit messy.
(sexy music) - (music stops) - Not in a million years.
(heels clack) (sigh) (in a posh voice) For 12 years, I was a governess for the Drummonds.
A very trustworthy house, it was remarkable.
- I even have a reference letter.
Yep! - OK, I'm done, you deal with it.
OK, if you have some questions, it's inside.
Hey, Roman, you You're perfect, buddy.
Uh, I don't know what role you're preparing for, but what we're looking for is a babysitter.
I'm sure it's nothing personal, I mean, nothing against you.
I came here to look after a baby, so I don't know what role you're referring to? One babysitter.
Is that possible? - (Eddy cries) - One! Is it too much to ask? (Roman) Yes, truly, this baby is very cute.
Little rascal.
You just want to tickle him! - (Roman chuckles) - (Antoine) Um, that's nice.
- (Antoine) Thanks.
- Pff! OK, fine.
Let's do it, let's hire him, let's take him.
- We're hiring him? - It doesn't matter, we have the nanny cam.
- (Milou) Do you want the job, Mrs? - Mrs.
Whoa! No, Roman, please.
Close your legs.
Well, you're hired, so And keep the outfit, it's less traumatizing.
It's happening, then.
(Milou) So, you see, all this, this is the barge, OK? - (Charlotte) OK - (Milou) So, here Here, there'll be an open space.
An open space like this.
- Then, a meeting room.
- OK - (Milou) A lounge, just like that.
- No, but wait, Milou.
Have you seen your maps? Well, no, but this is just an idea.
I'll draw it impeccably.
- You sure? - (Milou) Yeah! You don't even have time to wash your hair.
You and Elsa will be better with me, right? You can't do anything without me! Look, we need an architect, but not you.
- (Milou) I'll work for free.
- No.
- I'll invest capital.
- No.
I'll make a room for you on the barge, so you won't have to live here anymore! - Welcome to the plant nursery! - Thanks so much! (Elsa laughs awkwardly) Still, girls, you could have told me beforehand, because Milou, you're Yeah, but it's so cool! We'll work together, the two of us.
- There's three of us, hey! - Yeah! But how will you manage Eddy? - Yeah, my nephew? - We have new management.
- (Milou) Have a look.
See? - Eddy's buddies fly, too! - But that's Is that Roman? - I think so, yeah? - Yes, it is.
That's him.
- (Roman) Look - OK.
- OK.
(Milou) Crazy, right? And that's in real time.
(Charlotte) OK, well, you've certainly changed.
Well, honestly, I'm fine with him, at least he's normal.
I mean, right? Unlike that beefcake buddy of his? Please can you stop criticizing him all the time? Seriously, it's non-stop with you.
It's annoying, for real.
He's a good guy, whatever you guys might believe.
Yeah, that's true, Milou.
Don't be rude to the guy! - What? I'm the one who's rude? - Come on, Julio? - Julio.
- (Charlotte) Julio, he's good guy.
Besides, it's not his fault.
- I mean, he's a sex addict.
- (Milou) Oh, yeah! He didn't pick this kind of job randomly.
(Elsa) Oh, my God! Ew, you guys, stop that.
No! Remember that he left that behind for me.
He never left it behind, he took a break.
No, no way.
When you screw that many girls, you can't stop cold turkey.
No, not at all.
He wasn't doing that for for sex.
He gave the money to his mother.
It's different.
Yeah, well, a guy like that can't make you happy.
No, because the question on your mind isn't "Will he cheat on me?" but "When is he going to?" Yeah.
And it's a matter of days.
Yeah! Because you'd be there and you'd stop living.
Imagine, every time he's late, you're like you go crazy! Yeah! And knowing that he fucked 573 girls (Charlotte) One or two exes is hard enough to deal with but this - (Milou) Five hundred and seventy-three.
- (knock) - Oh, Max! No! What a surprise! - Oh, my God! So funny! - Everything happens for a reason.
- It's like it was meant to be.
- (Milou) Oh, yeah! Sure, come on! - (Charlotte) Come on in! - (Charlotte) So handsome.
- (Milou) True.
- (Charlotte) It's a sign.
- (Milou) Incredible.
(Antoine) Fuck, Julio.
I have a shift tonight.
You should have told me earlier.
- (Julio) Yeah, I'm sorry.
- I would have loved to see you on stage.
Well, you know, I'm not sure I'm ready to play for friends yet.
Even Roman can't come, he's working tonight apparently.
Only Elsa's coming.
Elsa? (Antoine sighs) Come on, Julio.
She hasn't told you? - (Charlotte) To the plant nursery! - (Milou) Yes! - (Charlotte) Pinkars! - (Milou) You're still not drinking? Oh, no.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm late.
- (Elsa sighs) I I have a gig.
- (Milou) What? You're going to a gig? Yeah, I'm going to a gig with, uh one of my coworkers named Stéphanie, so we just But can't we come along? - Can we come? - Huh? No.
Oh! I'm sorry, it's sold out.
The Point Éphémère is a small place, so there are no more tickets, but don't be sad.
I'm sure it's just kids, it will be boring.
No, I love kids who wanna make it! What about you, Maxime? - Oh, yeah.
I'm crazy about them.
- (Milou) There you go.
But you know, maybe she's ashamed of us, so Max, please, of course not.
And who's this Stéphanie? Where did she come from anyway, huh? No, but that's because Stéphanie, actually, you know, is a bit weird.
She's a bit grouchy, you know, a bit uptight.
Just like Milou! We love that! - I just found some tickets.
- (Charlotte) No way! - Should I buy you one? - All right.
Oh, no, no, no.
Oh, shoot! Agh, bad news.
- What is it? - Looks like Stéphanie isn't feeling well.
- We can't go.
- (Milou) Sure we can.
- I haven't been out in ages! - Our Uber is almost here! OK! Without Stéphanie, even better.
What's wrong with her? - I hope she dies.
- What's wrong with you? (Milou) Something less final.
A coma.
- Vaginal herpes? - There you go.
- (Charlotte) All right! Come on! - (Milou) Let's go.
- (Max) It's here, guys.
- (Milou) OK.
(electro rock music) ELSA: SOZ, STUCK AT THE OFFICE I'M COMING! - (muffled music) - (Elsa) Oh, God! It looks creepy.
- No, we shouldn't go.
I'll pay you back.
- (Max chuckles) You don't understand anything, it's underground! - That's where there's loads of hot guys.
- Wait, you got to calm down.
Remember you're getting married, like, tomorrow.
And to my brother! JULIO: I'M ABOUT TO GO ON STAGE.
No, stop! It's too dangerous! They don't even search bags.
Hey! Nothing's gonna happen when you're with me, baby, OK? - Llama! - What? - But See? - I liked it.
- Really? "Baby" and everything? - Yeah, I liked it.
- I'm being manly.
I'm a manly guy.
- I dig that.
- I'm going to flirt with some hipsters! - No! (music continues) You OK? Are you feeling nervous? - Well, you know.
- (Rachel) You'll do great.
Hello! - (muffled music) - (chatter) Hey! Wait.
Wait, wait, wait! Hey, why don't we have a drink before the gig? - Yeah! - OK.
- Oh, yeah! - Here, let's go.
(lullaby) (Roman in a posh voice) Mm.
Here's your little teddy.
- There, shh.
- I got to head out.
- Shh.
- Bye, you.
(Antoine sighs) - (Antoine) Will you be OK? - Sure.
And you, Mr.
Smires? - You never break character, do you? - I'm an actor.
(in his normal voice) You sure you're OK? (lullaby continues) Yeah, sure.
I'm in great spirit.
I'm getting along with Milou, it's calmer.
It was hell before the baby but we don't argue anymore.
- (Antoine) It's a good thing, right? - Don't bet on it.
- Hey, how is it in bed? - (Antoine clears his throat) (in a posh voice) Well, good luck to you, Mr.
Smires! Ah, girls, come here! Let's take a picture.
Oh, no.
No, no, no! - Please don't.
No, I can take it.
- But you won't be in it! Sure, but it will be a better angle.
I swear, it will be great.
- (Elsa) Here, smile.
- Go ahead.
On the other hand, if you take the picture, it will be so perfect.
- Seriously? Yes.
- Llama? If you're not part of it, it will be so worthless.
- Dude, llama! - Stop talking! OK, I'm getting a drink.
Oh! - Oh, no! - Oh, no, what a dummy! - I'm so clumsy, that sucks.
- It will dry.
- It's not a big deal.
- No, I should clean up.
- (Milou) Go, go.
- (Charlotte) Hurry back! - Should I follow her? - (Charlotte) No, what? No! (muffled music) You got to think, Elsa.
Find a way! Find a way, dammit! Sorry.
Excuse me.
(volume increases) You're almost up! - Break a leg.
- Yeah, sure.
Hey, let's grab a drink afterwards, me and you.
Um, no, my girlfriend is here.
Well, she's on her way.
Yeah, OK.
Maybe another night, then.
- Um, if it's about music, sure.
- (cheering) Yeah, yeah.
About music.
Break a leg.
(cheering continues) Thank you.
Goodnight! (muffled cheering) (man) Hey! - What's wrong? - What's going on? (Elsa) He touched my butt! - Bastard! - Hey, wait! - Don't touch her.
- (man) What are you talking about? (man) Come on, out! Get those guys out! - (man) Throw them out! Out now! - (Milou) Asshole! I can't believe it.
We wanna have a girls' night out and there's always a guy ruining it.
- #MeToo.
- This is a big deal.
- You need to sue them.
- No, let's just drop it, OK? - OK, so why aren't we going back, then? - No, I'm sick of it, I stink of alcohol.
It just It sucks, it's lame, it's ruined.
Seriously, honestly, give her a bit of air, man.
This is really lame.
Come on, let's get a cab.
No, I'm fine.
No, I I'll take the banks home, anyway.
I think I'm gonna walk, I need to be alone.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
OK, see you soon.
Bye, honey.
Take care, OK? - OK, then.
- Well, um, we'll see you.
- And if you need anything, you know - Dude! Come on.
- OK, thanks.
- I'm here, so - Come on, let her be.
- What? I can't leave her like that.
(electro rock music) (door slams) Hey, hey, hey.
Where do you think you're going? (Elsa laughs) Oh! You were amazing on stage.
- (Julio) Really? - Yeah.
What? The crowd went nuts for you! - (Elsa) I mean, I was so proud.
- What are you doing, Elsa? What? I was never on stage.
(electro rock music continues) (music fades) (electronic music) I'm feeling you closer So close to me I'm feeling you closer So close to me I'm feeling you closer So close to me I'm feeling you closer So close to me I'm feeling you closer So close to me I'm feeling you closer So close to me