Pointless Celebrities (2010) s11e14 Episode Script

Sport

1 APPLAUSE Thank you very much indeed.
Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and a very warm welcome to this sporting edition of Pointless Celebrities, the game where you're always aiming for the lowest score.
Let's meet this evening's Pointless Celebrities.
APPLAUSE And couple number one.
Hi, I'm Greg Rusedski, former world number four and British number one.
I played tennis, not a bad little sport.
I'm Sam Quek and I'm an Olympic gold hockey medallist.
I'm also currently doing a bit of sports presenting as well.
APPLAUSE And couple number two.
Hi, I'm Sally Gunnell, the only woman to hold all four titles - Olympic, World, European and Commonwealth - at the same time.
I'm Greg Rutherford.
I also hold all of the same titles, but sadly not the first woman to do it.
APPLAUSE Couple number three.
Hi, I'm Neil "Razor" Ruddock and I'm a football genius! Basically.
Hi, I'm Eni Aluko, the not-so-genius female professional footballer.
APPLAUSE And, finally, couple number four.
Hi, I'm James Cracknell and I spent too much time in a rowing boat wearing Lycra at the Olympics.
I'm Chemmy Alcott and I also spent too much time wearing Lycra.
Four-time Olympic ski racer and I am now the host of BBC's Ski Sunday.
APPLAUSE Thank you all very much indeed.
It's lovely to have you all here.
A very warm welcome to Pointless.
We'll get a chance to chat a bit more throughout the show as it goes along.
So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.
When I think of him, I think "Sporty".
There's definitely a bit of Scary and Posh in there, too.
It's my Pointless friend - it's Richard.
Hiya.
Good evening, everybody.
Good evening.
Oh, this is going to be brilliant.
I love it when we have sports specials.
They are so competitive, in a good way.
Because they all want to win and they can't hide it.
That's the beauty of it.
Even as you walk up and down the line, they're even competitive about who's the most competitive! It seems to be the consensus is it's James Cracknell.
That seems to be the consensus.
We've got four Olympic gold medallists here.
It's amazing.
I didn't know, so Greg Rutherford used to do sport before he was a dancer! This is I'm looking forward to hearing all about that.
That'll be fascinating! No, it's going to be brilliant.
Thank you all so much for coming along.
It's going to be an absolute cracker.
Very exciting indeed.
Thank you very much, Richard.
Now, as today's show is a celebrity special and each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity, we are going to start off with a bumper jackpot of ã2,500.
There it is.
APPLAUSE Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.
Just so you all remember, it's the pair with the highest score at the end of each round that we eliminate.
But other than that, best of luck to all four pairs.
Our first round today is all about Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second? And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.
OK, let's find out what the question is.
Here it comes.
We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many .
.
UK cities that come before London alphabetically as they could.
Richard? Yes, we're looking for any official UK city that comes before London in the alphabet.
I've just said exactly what's written up there! That is essentially all we're looking for.
It's one of those rounds where quite often we get 100 pointers because you're not absolutely certain what's a city and what's not.
Yes.
Now, then, Sam.
Lovely to have you here with us.
Yeah, I'm excited.
First time.
Gold-medal-winning hockey team at Rio.
Usually, when we bring gold home "We", I love the way "We".
You see, when "we" bring gold home, we see a sort of corresponding surge in interest in that sport.
Sales of hockey sticks just going phwoar! Through the roof, I should think.
That's a good point, that.
I might bring out my own one.
That'll be a good business idea.
Yeah, the Quek Stick.
Hold on to it.
That's a great idea.
Can we trademark that now? Yeah.
You say "we" It's lovely because there's not only that surge of interest but you then sort of come back as a sort of automatic ambassador for it.
So you're riding the crest of the wave, aren't you? Yeah, 100%.
And I think, as all athletes, you dream of winning gold and when it actually happens and you land back in London, for me being part of a team was incredible because it was just 16 normal women who were trying to achieve their dream.
And one of our targets was to inspire the future and I think we did that when we got back in London, so it's been amazing since then.
Yeah, massively, massively proud but I couldn't have done it without my team-mates and all the coaching staff.
Nicely said.
OK, now we have to turn our attention to this round.
So we're looking for any UK city that comes alphabetically before London.
Being a hockey player, so this Sunday I'm going down to Canterbury, you get to know all the motorways, all the service stations, how long between Knutsford and Sandbach and all that, so I'm a little bit of a UK geography geek.
This is great.
I'm going to have to stop you before you give away too many answers! Sam, what are you going to go for? OK, so .
.
I'm thinking This is where I travelled from today and I'm hoping not too many people know it, so I'm going to say Chester.
Chester.
Yes.
Says Sam.
Chester.
Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Chester.
Well, it's right.
Oh, look at that, Sam.
Down it goes.
14, very well done, indeed.
Great start to the round.
Very good, 14.
Well played, Sam.
Yeah, Chester.
It's got the largest Roman amphitheatre in Britain and it's where Sam came from this morning.
I didn't know about the amphitheatre.
That's interesting.
Yes, there you go.
There we go.
Thank you.
Pleasure.
Sally, welcome back to Pointless.
Thank you.
Good to be back.
Wonderful.
Now, you had a long and distinguished career in athletics, but when you come to the end of it, how easy is it to sort of stop that? It can't stop overnight = presumably you still have a voice in your head saying, I've got to train! You can't.
For health reasons, you can't just stop.
But you know, it's lovely, because you get up in the morning and you just think, I don't have to do it today.
And what should I do? You have a little choice when normally you don't.
You have to do this, this, this.
Yes, so what sort of sport do you do now? What do I do? I do a lot of things.
My back's not brilliant so I do do a little bit of running, still.
But I bike ride.
I've done lots of charity bike rides.
Pilates is my saviour.
And that's about it.
But, yeah, it's enough.
Very good indeed.
Now, what about our geography question, here? Yes.
How are you on your alphabet, Sally? My alphabet, I think I'm OK.
I did have a think about it at the beginning.
I was OK.
So I have gone for, similar to you, where I come from, city of Brighton.
Brighton, says Sally.
Unquestionably before London in the alphabet.
So there we are.
We know it's right, surely.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Brighton.
There we are.
Well, 14 is the only score we have at the moment.
Brighton is 31.
Not bad.
All right.
There we are.
Not bad.
Two good scores.
Well played, Sally.
Officially the city of Brighton and Hove, but Brighton an acceptable answer.
Very well played.
Thank you, Richard.
Neil.
Yes? Razor Ruddock.
Lovely to have you with us.
Now, you're one of the last great hard men of football Thank you.
.
.
I think it's fair to say, isn't it? Yeah Yeah? Yeah, I was.
What's your relationship with football these days, professionally speaking? I like to watch it now.
I do a lot of after-dinner speaking now, so I'm travelling the country.
So most Friday nights and Saturday nights I'm out working.
That's quite nice, so it is.
I like to watch it, sitting in the car or in the front room.
Are you a bit of an armchair manager, though? Oh, yeah.
I still shout at referees.
You know, when that stops it's time to give up.
I don't know, do you ever think, what football is missing right now is me? I should get in there! On 200 grand a week, that'd be lovely! But I wouldn't be here, would I? You wouldn't be here.
There we are.
APPLAUSE We'd all be the poorer.
Now, Neil, I don't doubt for a minute that you know your UK geography like the back of your hand.
So .
.
look at our scores, they're not bad - 14, 31.
I'm going to go .
.
it's where I come from, near, I will go Canterbury.
Canterbury.
OK, Canterbury.
The second mention Canterbury has had this evening, in fact.
Let's see how many of our Thanks, Sam! I was going to say that! Let's see how many of our 100 people said Canterbury.
It's right.
14 is the low score, 31 is the high.
You pass the high score.
Oh, you've joined the low score.
Look at that.
Very nice indeed.
Very well played, Neil.
Very well played, Sam, as well.
It's nice that you got identical scores.
Served by two stations, Canterbury.
Canterbury East and Canterbury West, which are in the north and the south! This round might as well be called "places that Sam Quek has been".
Yeah.
That is a good round.
Yeah, it is.
Anyway, there we are.
Now, then, Chemmy.
The skiing thing.
Yeah.
Which, by the way, you did very, very well.
How did you do your training? Obviously, you have to travel to places where there's snow.
I didn't spend much time in UK cities, for instance.
Right.
No, no.
So rather a lot of travelling around the world.
Down to New Zealand and Chile in the southern hemisphere.
But at what age did you suddenly emerge as quite a serious bet as a skier? I started at 18 months old and I had my first ski race at three.
And I always thought I won that ski race cos I got a medal.
No, this isn't true.
It is, it is! 18 months? Really? Yeah.
My dad said to me, finally, 20 years later, when I told journalists this forever, he said, "You didn't win a race.
" I said, "I did, I got a medal!" He said, "Everyone under five got a medal!" And apparently I'd stopped and given him a kiss on the way down when he was videoing it.
Thankfully, I didn't do that in the Olympic Games! Now, then, Chemmy.
What would you like to go for as a UK city that comes before London in the alphabet? Well, we've got some quite competitive answers but I want to go outside of England.
I'm married to a Scot and he's going to hate that I'm not going for Scotland.
I'm going to go for Belfast.
Belfast.
OK, going to Northern Ireland.
It gets you a little "mm" from the audience.
Oh, no.
No-one likes it! No, no.
I think maybe they do.
Maybe they do.
Belfast, OK, let's see where we end up on our column with Belfast.
Well, 31 is the high score.
You pass that.
24.
24 for Belfast.
Not bad at all.
Not bad, not bad.
And Sam didn't give me the answer.
No! I did it all by myself.
You made that one up yourself.
It's good.
Yeah! Neil Yeah, another good answer.
Very good answers from all four.
We haven't had anything too obvious or anything wrong, which is very rare.
Yeah.
With cities, particularly.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, thank you very much, indeed.
We're halfway through the round.
Let's take a quick look at our scores.
The lowest score of the pass was 14 and we have two people sharing that score.
Er I live in Kent! Canterbury's round the corner! Up the road.
Fair enough.
There you are.
Thank you very much! It's served you very well, indeed.
So, well done, Neil, and well done, Sam.
And then we travel up to 24, which is where we find Chemmy and James.
And then we travel up to 31, Sally and Greg.
You're not way ahead.
I know.
But you are ahead.
So, Greg, a nice obscure city that comes before London in the alphabet, please, if you wouldn't mind.
Thank you very much.
We're going to come back down the line, now.
Can the second players please step up to the podium? There we are.
James, welcome to Pointless.
I can't believe it's the first time we've had you.
Well, you'll believe it after I've given my answer! OK I don't know I happen to know how competitive you are.
Yes, we could talk about your rowing golds.
I would like to talk about the apple bobbing, if we may? Guinness World Record-holder in apple bobbing, James.
APPLAUSE Exactly.
It was more I hadn't done much training for it.
It was thrust upon me in a situation.
They go, "Would you have a go at this?" I was like, "OK.
" Did you just barge lots of children out of the way? I fancy an apple, let me in! And then they said, you've got a minute and get as many out as you can.
If you want to have a go, it was only seven, so I'm sure someone's broken it by now.
Your name is in the book, is it? Slightly wet because my tactic of just putting my head down got me slightly wet but then they presented me with a nice certificate.
It was very good.
Wow! Anyway, there we go.
James, you are on 24.
Lovely low score from Chemmy in the first pass, there, which means, should you be able to score six or less, you are into Round Two.
I'm just going to wave that in front of you because I know that you'll want to do that.
I'll go for Lincoln, then.
OK, Lincoln, says James.
There's your red line.
If you get below that with Lincoln, you are definitely in the next round.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Lincoln.
It's right.
Oh! 13, I think that's good enough.
That'll take your total up to 37.
Yeah, very good answer.
Well picked.
Oh, it's going to be a very tight second pass, isn't it? It is.
Yeah.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Eni, welcome back to Pointless.
Thank you.
Now, Eni, women's football has just Every year it just gets bigger and bigger.
Which must be so exciting, being right at the forefront, turning out for Chelsea every week.
Is that leaving you any time to deal with it? Because you are a qualified lawyer.
Eni is a sports and entertainment lawyer.
Whoo! Got a whoop! Thank you.
Yeah! APPLAUSE Do you get any time to do that, to practise as a lawyer in between? I do, yeah.
It's all about balance and time management and understanding from my boss at work.
I've balanced it for a long time now and it's something I really enjoy and actually something I encourage all athletes to try - focus on their future career as well, what they're going to do after they play.
That's a very good point.
A lot of people kind of neglect that.
Sport's a short career.
It's a short career.
It's a short career, you never know what's going to happen, and it's good for the brain.
I think it's good to divert your energy sometimes, so I really enjoy it.
And being a sports lawyer, it's not going to hurt spending your time with lots of sports people as well? Exactly.
A lot of clients, potentially.
JAMES: Just give Neil your card, I reckon! I might need you! Lovely low score - there you are, on 14.
If you can score 22 or less, you are into Round Two.
So I'm going to go for Aberdeen.
Brilliant.
Aberdeen, OK.
It gets you a little buzz, there, from our audience here.
There is your red line.
Get below that and you're into Round Two for sure.
Let's see how many people said Aberdeen.
It's right.
It's OK, 38.
It's OK.
38 takes you up to 52.
Could have done enough, there.
Yeah, it's a surprisingly big score.
I wonder if it's because it's so alphabetically at the top of the alphabet? I wonder if it's that? But, yeah, perfectly good answer.
Thank you very much indeed.
Greg! Welcome, welcome to Pointless.
Thank you for having me.
Now, Greg, how does someone discover they're great at long jump? I was really good My dad was a builder and he always had bricks and things at the end of the garden and I would always just jump onto them.
Lots of sand? Yeah, there was a bit of that as well.
So I used to be quite fast, I used to do a lot of running.
So I started up as a sprinter, a football player, etc.
Realised that I was pretty rubbish at those.
My dad said, well, you're pretty good at jumping on the bricks, give it a go.
And then, yeah, 30 years or whatever it is, 25 years later, I stand here as I do.
I mean, there's pole vaulting as well.
That's a very How do you discover Yeah, your dad has to be a scaffolder for that! Exactly, exactly! Anyway, so, Greg, there you are, on 31.
We need a score of 20 or less from you.
We're going to stick with the Scottish theme and hope that that doesn't happen again, what just happened.
We're going to go with Dundee.
Dundee.
OK, interesting.
Well, 20 is what you have to hope.
20 or less.
There's your red line.
How many of our 100 people said Dundee? It passes 38.
You've done it! Very well done, indeed.
17.
Well done! 17 for Dundee, taking your total up to 48.
You are in Round Two.
For many years, it was the centre of the comics industry with the Beano and stuff like that.
Now it's the centre of the British videogames industry, Dundee.
The British marmalade industry, let's not forget, of course.
I do love a bit of Dundee marmalade.
Do you? Yeah Mm.
Mm.
Mm, mm, mm.
Anyway, there we are, Greg! Welcome.
Thank you.
Lovely to have you with us here.
How, having been fourth in the world rankings, how do you deal with the social tennis match? With the social tennis match, I always play nicely to my partner and also I think the one that's more interesting is the mixed doubles match when you play.
When you play mixed doubles, you've got to keep your partner happy and make sure they have a good time.
And that's one of the biggest keys.
And when I play with friends, they always want me to serve them, because I had the fastest serve in the world.
So I have a little bit of fun with them doing that as well.
Yeah Do they have a lot of fun on the other side? I guess But it is hard, that, because you can't You have to kind of lessen your game, to a certain extent.
I will play with only one shoe, something like that.
Or tie your hand behind your back, try something different out there.
Very good, well, I'm very pleased.
Now, this is where the game happens, Greg.
Right here, we need 37 or less from you.
OK.
I'm going to go for, I think, Hull.
Hull.
Yes.
Here is your red line.
You've got to get below that with Hull.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Hull.
Go, go on! Look at that! Very well done, indeed.
24 for Hull.
38 is your total.
Very exciting, very well played.
Very well played, Greg.
Yeah, officially Kingston upon Hull but that's also before London in the alphabet, so that's absolutely fine.
Now, there a couple of pointless answers.
Litchfield, which a lot of people don't realise is a city.
And Lisburn in Northern Ireland was a pointless answer as well.
Shall we take a look at the top three scorers? The ones that most of our 100 people said.
Cardiff would have scored you 55.
Edinburgh, 61.
And Birmingham, right at the top there on 66.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard, so we are at the end of our first round and that means we have to say goodbye to one of our pairs, and the high-scorers I knew I shouldn't have come.
Oh, I'm so sorry, Eni and Neil.
Far too brief.
But please come and play again.
Sorry, Neil.
Ah, you're all right, no.
Unlucky, the lawyer.
Eni and Neil.
APPLAUSE But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.
Ooh, well done, well done, well done.
We made it through our cities round and you'll notice we're down to three pairs.
It'll be down to two pairs at the end of this round.
That's just how it goes.
Best of luck to all three pairs.
Our category for Round Two this evening is .
.
Pop Music.
Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second? And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.
OK.
And the Pop Music question concerns .
.
missing clothing in songs.
Richard.
On each board we're going to show you the names of six UK Top 40 singles.
They've each got an item of clothing or headgear or footwear in them, but we've missed that word out.
Can you fill in the blanks, please? Thank you very much.
So, we're essentially asking you to re-clothe these pop songs.
And here we are, we have six here on our first board.
I will read the names of those songs again.
There we go.
Sam.
Yeah.
They're all items of clothing.
So, yeah, I'm going to go for Sugababes, Red Dress.
Red Dress, says Sam.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Red Dress.
It's right.
Look at that, not bad at all.
15 for Red Dress.
Yeah, a number four single for one of the many incarnations of the Sugababes.
Thank you very much, Richard.
Now, then, Greg.
There's only one on there and I know it's the most obvious one.
I'm desperately trying to think what one of the others could be.
Ah! This is a difficult one.
What time limit are you going to put on me? Soonish! Would it help if we started going It might do! That's a good point! AUDIENCE CLAPS Ah! All right, I'm going to have to go with the most obvious one, annoyingly, and I think that's Goody Two Shoes.
OK, Goody Two Shoes, says Greg.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Goody Two Shoes.
Ooh! 94.
It's so obvious, isn't it? Oh, Greg, I'm sorry.
That's But again, any sports person will tell you, if it's a choice between that and 100, you'd take 94.
Yes.
That's the only thing you can do.
Thank you very much, Richard.
Now, then, Chemmy.
So what are the clothes missing from these song titles? I would like to go for Raspberry Beret.
Raspberry Beret, says Chemmy.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Raspberry Beret.
It's right.
Well, 94 was the high score and you pass that.
15 is the low.
You stop at 45.
Not bad at all.
Good work, Chemmy.
Shall we fill in the rest of this board? So, Missy Elliot.
Sock.
Sock.
Sock It 2 Me.
Would have scored 14.
Fancy Pants.
Well, it can only be and it is.
Fancy Pants, 32.
And the Manic Street Preachers.
Stole.
Stole, as in long scarf.
You Stole The Sun From My Heart by the Manics.
34 points for that.
Thank you very much indeed.
Well, we're halfway through the round.
Let's take a quick look at those scores.
15, very well done, indeed, Sam.
45 is where we find Chemmy and James.
Then 94.
I mean, not way ahead Well, you are way ahead, what am I talking about? You are way ahead! Sally, let's just hope there's a nice low-scoring answer on that board that you know because, yes, 94 is a bit ahead.
Good luck with that.
We're going to come back down the line now.
Can the second players please step up to the podium? OK, let's put six more song titles up on the board.
And here they are I will read those all again.
There we are.
So, James.
Now, if you can score 48 or less with this answer, you are into our head-to-head round.
I know two, so I could gamble on it being sub-94, or I could just go for one that I think might be right.
Based on rhyming.
So I'm going to go for thong.
You're going to go for Thong Song.
Sisqo, Thong Song.
There is your red line.
If you get below that with thong, you are through to the head-to-head.
How many people said thong? It's right.
You are through to the head-to-head.
Very well done indeed.
25 is your score.
That's the only one I knew! Well, I knew that one! 70 the total.
Yeah, it actually works much better as an answer for a lot of the other ones.
You could have Big For Your Thong, Baggy Thong or Hand In Thong, all of which would be Thank you very much, Rich.
Sally, you are the high-scorers at the moment.
I know.
I know three.
I'm going to go for Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Ole Oak Tree.
OK, tie, says Sally.
Let's see how many of our 100 people went with tie.
It is tie.
My God! 82.
Disaster! 82 takes your total up to 176.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, that band, Dawn, were named after the record company boss' daughter.
That's a good way to get a record contract.
Yeah, and Tony Orlando was the boss of the record company.
There we are.
Thank you very much, Richard.
Now, Greg.
I've got great news for you.
It doesn't matter what you score here, you are into our head-to-head.
Do it all, do it all! Even if you score 100.
Oh, wow.
Do it all? I don't have a clue on any of the above.
Just have a look through the board and see if there's anything you fancy.
Just have a bit of fun with it, just in case you come up with some answers.
OK.
Big For Your Boots.
Baggy Trousers.
Let's go for .
.
Baggy Trousers, shall we go? Baggy Trousers, says Greg.
Genuinely no idea? No idea.
There is no red line for you.
You're already through.
Nice reason for not having a red line.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Baggy Trousers.
It's absolutely right.
Goes down to 80.
95 is your total.
Very well done, indeed.
I didn't have a clue.
I had pointed out recently that it was released nearer to the end of the Second World War than to today.
XANDER GASPS You're welcome.
I was seven, was my excuse.
Seven.
Absolutely.
Now, shall we fill in the rest of these? Greg, you're absolutely right.
Big For Your Boots by Stormzy.
Would have scored you 42 points.
Peacock Suit by Paul Weller.
That's the best answer up there - eight points.
And Hand In Glove.
Glove, cover of The Smiths song by Sandie Shaw.
30 points for that.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Well, we are at the end of our second round and that means we have to say goodbye to another pair.
Sally and Greg, I'm so sorry.
It is you.
Nothing wrong with either of your answers.
They were just high-scoring, I'm afraid.
Yes, you just have to come back and play again.
But it's been lovely having you on.
Thank you so much.
Sally and Greg.
Thank you.
APPLAUSE But for our two remaining pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.
Well, congratulations, Chemmy and James, Greg and Sam.
You are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for our jackpot, which currently stands at ã2,500.
APPLAUSE So this is where we have to decide who goes through to the final and we do it by making you go head-to-head.
The big difference is you're now allowed to confer, so you can chat before you give your answers.
Now, the first player to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.
It's going to be very, very closely matched.
Fiercely competitive.
Best of luck to both players, let's play the head-to-head.
APPLAUSE Here is your first question, and it concerns Richard.
Yeah, we're going to show you five pictures now of alternative sporting events and we're also going to show you their names with some letters removed.
Can you tell us what these sporting events are, please? Thank you very much, indeed.
So let's reveal our five alternative pastimes.
And here they come We've got There we are.
Five alternative sports.
Now, then.
Chemmy and James, you are our low-scorers so you will answer first.
So, we know four out of five.
OK.
Which do you think is the most obscure of those four then? You think C because you still haven't worked it out.
I didn't think the words, the letters fitted.
Yeah, it does.
I think all the first four are pretty much of a muchness.
Me, too.
So .
.
we'll go for cheese rolling.
OK, you're going to say B, cheese rolling.
B, cheese rolling.
Now, then, Greg and Sam.
Do you fancy talking us through all those others? So, randomly, last night I was looking at videos of different sports and this one actually came up, and it was a very old BBC show and the mystery guest was a bog snorkeler.
So, A, I think that's what that one is.
OK.
And then after that, C has got to be chess boxing, I'm assuming.
Because that's the obvious thing, what is there.
What do you think D is? And D, because although I'm not married yet, I do have a wonderful fiance - he does this a lot to me and it is wife carrying.
Shall we go for bog snorkeling? OK.
Yeah? Go for it.
Fancy it? I don't fancy doing it! OK.
Yeah? Yeah, let's go for it.
OK, let's go for A, bog snorkeling.
Bog snorkeling.
So we have cheese rolling and we have bog snorkeling.
Chemmy and James have gone for cheese rolling for B.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said cheese rolling.
It's right.
Bang on 50.
50 for cheese rolling.
Greg and Sam, meanwhile, have gone for bog snorkeling.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said bog snorkeling.
It's right.
Oh! I said it was going to be close! That is close.
47 for bog snorkeling.
You have just done it.
Very well done, Greg and Sam, after one question you are up 1-0.
Yeah, I know Chemmy wanted to go for C and it would have won you the point if you had, because chess boxing would have scored you 22 points.
Now, D is the biggest scorer.
It's wife carrying.
53 points.
And E is the best answer on the board by a mile.
I can work out three of those words.
Man v horse Man v horse marathon.
Absolutely.
And it would have scored you three points.
And like so many of those sports, it started as a bet in a Welsh pub.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
OK, here comes your second question.
Now, then, Chemmy and James, you have to win this one but Greg and Sam will be answering it first, so good luck.
Our second question this evening is all about England World Cup and European Championship songs.
Richard.
Yeah, we're going to play you five songs now that have been used as official songs for England World Cup and European Championship teams.
Can you tell us the artists behind these wonderful songs, please? OK, let's listen to our songs.
Here is song A.
# Sven's the man who's got a plan # We found a super Swede # A nation reunited # And England comes alive # Goldenballs is captain # And Heskey makes it five! # We're on the ball # We're on the ball # We're on the ball We're on the ball OK, that's A.
This is B.
# You can't be wrong # When something's good # It's never gone # Love's got the world in motion # And I know what we can do # Love's got the world in motion And I can't believe it's true Here is C.
# Shine forth upon our clouded hills # And was Jerusalem builded here Among those dark Satanic Mills Here's D.
# We're gonna sing for England # England # The whole of Europe will hear us # And now you're gonna believe us # We're England fans Come on and sing for Eng-er-land And here is E.
# It's coming home, it's coming # Football's coming home # It's coming home # Three Lions on a shirt # Jules Rimet still gleaming # Thirty years of hurt Never stopped me dreaming OK, there we are.
There are our five songs.
Now, then, Greg and Sam, you get to go first.
Feel free to confer if you haven't yet.
There's a few obvious ones there but we're going to take a risk and go with B, Pet Shop Boys.
OK, B, Pet Shop Boys, say Greg and Sam.
Now, then, Chemmy and James.
Which would you like to go for? Well, if Pet Shop Boys is right Then what we thought wasn't right.
So let's go for the other one.
Then If it is Pet Shop Boys and it's right, that'll be lower than Baddiel and Skinner.
But we know Baddiel and Skinner is right.
Yeah.
So basically, do you want to get it right? They could be wrong.
I quite want to be risk averse so I think you should get it right.
OK, we'll go Baddiel and Skinner, then.
For? E.
E, Baddiel and Skinner.
OK, so we have Pet Shop Boys and we have Baddiel and Skinner.
Now, Greg and Sam said that B was the Pet Shop Boys.
Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said Pet Shop Boys.
No.
No.
So I think, tactically, you have played a blinder here, Chemmy and James.
You have said Baddiel and Skinner for E.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.
It just has to be right and you will win the point.
It is right.
Very well done.
It's exactly what you needed.
Wow! Surprisingly low score.
30 for Baddiel and Skinner.
APPLAUSE Exactly what you needed, Chemmy and James.
You're back in the game.
After two questions, it's 1-1.
Yeah, very well done.
Baddiel and Skinner And The Lightning Seeds, and, depressingly, that 30 years of hurt is now 52 years of hurt.
That's how long ago that was.
B does sound a lot like the Pet Shop Boys but it's New Order, or England New Order is the official name.
12 points.
A, let's have a listen.
Sven's the man who's got a plan That was On The Ball by Ant & Dec.
Would have scored you 13.
Wow! C.
Shine forth upon our clouded hills That's the same band who did Vindaloo.
That's Fat Les 2000 and it's a pointless answer.
So very well done if you said that.
And D We're gonna sing for England Believe it or not, that is Chris Kamara.
It would have scored you one point.
He does it all, Chris Kamara.
Was Chris Kamara the one person that said that song? I think he was! That was our 2012 official Euros song.
Seriously? Chris Kamara, yeah.
What about that? That explains a lot! So don't feel too bad about not knowing a couple of those ones.
There we are.
Thank you very much indeed.
OK, so it all comes down to a third question.
This is the decider.
Whoever wins this goes through to the final to play for that jackpot, so very best of luck to both pairs.
Our third question this evening is all about shared acting roles.
Richard.
We're going to show you five sets of actors now, all of whom have played the same role on television or film.
We need you to tell us what role it is, please.
Thank you very much, indeed.
Let's reveal our five pairs of actors and here they come.
We've got I'll read those again.
There we go.
Now, then.
Chemmy and James, you will go first.
Is it a risk? I know that one of those actresses played this.
We'll go D.
Yeah? Yeah, go on.
Are you sure? Yeah, it's on you.
OK.
Chemmy, what are you going to say? Juliet in Romeo And Juliet.
Juliet in Romeo And Juliet.
OK, Greg and Sam.
OK, well, I think we're going to actually .
.
do what happened last round We're going to play them at their own game.
Yeah, we're going to play them at their own game.
I'm a huge James Bond fan so Daniel Craig, Timothy Dalton and Roger Moore, obviously, is James Bond.
OK, so you're just going to go for James Bond and hope that Chemmy and James have got theirs wrong? It will be a wise tactic, I reckon.
Oh, no! Let's put it to the test.
Chemmy, you've stuck your neck out and you've stuck with it.
Come on.
I have.
I think you could be right.
Let's see.
You have said Claire Danes, Hailee Steinfeld and Olivia Hussey have all played Juliet in Romeo And Juliet.
Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it if it is right.
It is right! Smashed it! There, it's still going down.
Chemmy, very well done indeed.
These guys have bet the house against you.
So, Greg and Sam have gone for James Bond for the top one.
Let's see if it's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said James Bond.
92! Four.
It's right, 94! Seems to be a recurring score.
Very well done indeed, particularly to Chemmy.
But Chemmy and James, after three questions you are through to the final, 2-1.
And beautiful to watch the tactics, though, Greg and Sam, there.
Because, actually, it's the right thing to do.
But Chemmy was right, like you were on the first question, and James didn't listen to you on that one! A great athlete learns from their mistakes, James, which is what you did.
Well played, Chemmy.
Let's fill in the rest of this board.
The second one down is Martin Luther King.
Would have scored you one point.
Chris Pine, Harrison Ford and Ben Affleck have all been in the Tom Clancy movies playing his hero, Jack Ryan.
Oh, yeah.
Would have scored you four points.
And right at the bottom is Sherlock Holmes.
That would have scored you 65.
Thank you very much indeed, so the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round, Greg and Sam, I'm afraid it's you.
Ah! This has been so exciting, though.
The mixture of tactics and clever scoring has been superb.
And the odd incorrect answer as well, just for fun.
But, no, you've played a blinder.
It's been really good fun.
Thank you so much, but this is where we say goodbye.
But please come and play again.
Greg and Sam.
APPLAUSE Thanks for having us.
Good luck! But for Chemmy and James, it's now time for our Pointless Final.
Congratulations, Chemmy and James, you have fought off all the competition and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.
You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your charities and at the end of today's show the jackpot is standing at ã2,500.
APPLAUSE There it is.
Very, very well done.
I mean, we knew it was going to be a competitive game - it always is - but you have excelled.
It's been brilliant.
And you held you nerve when you needed to in that head-to-head round, so great to have you here.
What would you like to see come up in this last round? Skiing.
Just generally about skiing or rowing.
I'd go with skiing as well! Fair enough! It gets me nicely out of any trouble.
I think anything sporty.
Unsurprisingly.
OK, there we are.
Now, as always, you get to choose your category from the four we put up on the board, and today's selection looks like this.
Motown, I don't know anything about.
Me, neither.
So that's done, I reckon.
Modern British boxers? You could get some.
2017 awards ceremonies.
The Oscars, who did they give it to? Yeah, I Fishy-sounding films? That's quite fun.
Shall we do that, shall we? Yeah.
This'll be luck.
Yes, let's do it.
OK, fishy-sounding films, it's going to be.
OK.
I'm sometimes taken by surprise.
I've been taken by surprise here but let's go for that.
We're looking for any cast members of any of the following films, please.
So anyone according to IMDb credited with appearing in Big Fish from 2003.
In Swordfish, 2001.
Or Salmon Fishing In The Yemen from 2011.
So anyone according to IMDb credited with appearing in any of those three films.
Very best of luck.
Thank you very much indeed.
Now, as always, you've got up to a minute to come up with three answers and all you need to win the jackpot for your charities is for just one of those answers to be pointless.
You don't have to answer all three categories.
Just spread your answers across the one or ones you like.
Are you ready? Yeah.
OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.
There they are.
Your time starts now.
I've not seen any, but Big Fish, Ewan McGregor was in it.
OK.
Salmon Fishing In The Yemen.
Clooney? Yeah, Clooney.
These are big names, though.
Swordfish.
Travolta.
Johnny Depp.
What year is Swordfish? Don't know.
John Travolta, I reckon, is Swordfish.
2001, Swordfish.
2001.
John Travolta.
That's quite a good call.
I don't know any of the cast of Big Fish, so Ewan McGregor's a good one.
I only know Ewan McGregor.
And I think it's Ewan McGregor.
So that's good.
And then John Travolta and then Clooney.
I don't think any could be pointless.
No, they're quite well-known, good-looking actors, not that that's an important thing to say.
That's clearly your criteria when choosing a film, though? Yeah.
And mine, so, yeah, we'll stick with that! So what do you think we should go for? 14 seconds.
You can do one in each, yeah? Yep.
Well, that's what we've got to go for because we've got to give three answers.
OK, I'll go for that.
None of them will be pointless.
No.
OK, you're happy to settle on those? Well, there we are, your minute runs out.
So let's have those three answers, and if you say which film you're answering for.
Ewan McGregor from Big Fish.
OK, Ewan McGregor.
John Travolta, Swordfish.
John Travolta.
And George Clooney and Salmon Fishing.
And George Clooney.
Of those three, which is your best shot, do you think, at a pointless answer? Big Fish, I reckon.
OK, so we'll put Ewan McGregor last for Big Fish.
And then Swordfish and then Clooney.
Clooney's just a popular dude.
OK, so Clooney we'll put as our first answer.
Yeah.
OK, and then John Travolta in the middle.
OK, well, let's pop those up on the board in that order, then.
And here they are.
We've got George Clooney, John Travolta and Ewan McGregor.
Well, three answers there on the board.
If one of these turns out to be pointless and wins you that jackpot, who are you playing for? Which charities? I am playing for Headway, the brain injury association.
I'm playing for Right To Play, who I've been ambassador for about 12 years.
Excellent.
APPLAUSE Well, three good answers on the board.
We've got to hope one of those maybe is pointless and will raise that jackpot money for your charities.
Your first answer was George Clooney.
In this case we were looking for cast members of Salmon Fishing In The Yemen.
If George Clooney is pointless, your charities will be ã2,500 the richer.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said George Clooney.
Oh! No, not George Clooney, sadly.
None of them! Let's move on, let's move on to your next answer, which was John Travolta.
In this case, we were looking for anyone in the cast of Swordfish.
Let's find out how many people said John Travolta.
If it is a pointless answer, you leave with ã2,500 for your charities.
How many people said John Travolta? It's right.
Well, George Clooney turned out to be incorrect.
John Travolta, absolutely right.
Taking us down through the 30s and into the 20s.
28 for John Travolta.
APPLAUSE Listen, that's a great score.
During normal gameplay we'd be thrilled with 28 but, annoyingly, we only accept pointless answers in this last round.
So we turn to your third and final answer, which is Ewan McGregor.
In this case, we were looking for cast members of Big Fish.
If Ewan McGregor is pointless, you will leave with ã2,500 for your charities.
How many people said Ewan McGregor? It's right.
It's right.
It's right.
Your first answer, George Clooney, was incorrect.
John Travolta took us all the way down to 28.
Ewan McGregor now takes us past 28, into the teens.
Oh, bad luck! APPLAUSE 12.
Another good score.
Just, annoyingly, not a pointless answer.
So I'm afraid you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer so you don't win today's jackpot.
However, as it is a celebrity special, we are going to donate ã500 to each celebrity pair for their respective charities.
Thank you.
And you get to take home a Pointless trophy, which is very well done and richly deserved.
Very well played.
Yeah, you know what? It's been a terrific show.
Terrific winners, as well.
That was a really hard final category, I have to say.
Sometimes they're harder, sometimes easier and you chose a tough one.
You made a good fist of it.
I'm glad everyone is going home with some money.
Shall we take a look at the pointless answers in the different categories? We'll start with Big Fish.
Some big names here, if you've seen the film.
Billy Crudup, Jessica Lange, Marion Cotillard, Steve Buscemi.
Everyone in that film was a pointless answer apart from Ewan McGregor, Helena Bonham Carter, Albert Finney and Danny DeVito.
All the other cast members were pointless answers.
Moving on to Swordfish.
Drea De Matteo, Rudolf Martin.
Sam Shepard, a pointless answer in that.
Zach Grenier.
Everyone in that film pointless apart from Travolta, Halle Berry, Hugh Jackman, Vinnie Jones and Don Cheadle.
Those were the ones that scored points.
And Salmon Fishing In The Yemen, George Clooney not in that.
Ewan McGregor is, though.
He's the star, in fact.
Ewan McGregor, Emily Blunt and Kristin Scott Thomas were the only people who scored points.
And there's a few of the pointless answers up there, including the wonderful Rachael Stirling.
Conleth Hill as well, from Game of Thrones.
Very well done if you got any of those pointless answers at home.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
And thank you so much, Chemmy and James, for playing and playing so well.
It's been wonderful having you here.
Chemmy and James.
APPLAUSE Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.
Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.
Goodbye.
And it's goodbye from me - goodbye.
APPLAUSE
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