Pointless Celebrities (2010) s11e17 Episode Script

Journalists

1 APPLAUSE Thank you very much indeed.
Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and a very warm welcome to this journalistic edition of Pointless Celebrities, the show where the aim of the game is to avoid the obvious answers and find the obscure ones.
Let's meet this evening's Pointless celebrities.
APPLAUSE And couple number one.
I'm Lizo Mzimba.
I'm a television entertainment journalist.
And I'm Dan Wootton.
I am a showbiz columnist and broadcaster.
APPLAUSE Couple number two.
I'm Ian Hyland and I'm a TV critic.
And I'm Jane Moore and I'm a columnist and TV presenter.
APPLAUSE Couple number three.
I'm Rosie Boycott.
I'm a journalist and an editor.
I'm Frank Gardner, BBC Security Correspondent.
APPLAUSE And finally, couple number four.
I'm Eve Pollard and I was a journalist when Queen Victoria was on the throne! LAUGHTER I'm Victoria Derbyshire.
I'm a journalist and broadcaster.
APPLAUSE Thank you very much indeed.
A very warm welcome to Pointless.
Great to have you all here.
We'll get a chance to chat a little bit further throughout the show as it goes along.
So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.
No-one can compete with him when it comes to column inches.
It's my Pointless friend.
It's Richard.
APPLAUSE Hiya! Hello, everybody.
Good evening.
Good evening to you.
Good evening.
So, a journalist special.
I know! They're going to be very clever.
Yes.
That's the key thing.
It's going to be great answer after great answer all evening long, is it not? Isn't it just! And, I tell you what, some of them are more highbrow than others.
That's what I'm going to say.
WHISPERS: Podium three, that's quite a highbrow podium, don't you think? It's quite classy.
No disrespect to everybody else, but that's pretty highbrow, isn't it? Don't you think? Mm-hm.
A few people have been on before.
Jane Moore has been through to a final before.
She got a Pointless trophy, so a very, very tough player to beat.
And Lizo and Frank have both been on, and last time they came on together and got to Round Two, and that was clearly unacceptable to both of them because they've split up.
LAUGHTER So we'll see who's chosen their new partner more wisely.
Lizo has chosen Dan and Frank has chosen Rosie.
So, just a little kind of internal competition there.
Round One, good for all journalists.
Oh, good.
Perfectly made, perfectly made for journalists, Round One.
Well, thank you very much indeed, Richard.
As today's show is a celebrity special, each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity, and that means we are going to start off with a jackpot of ã2,500.
There we are.
APPLAUSE Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.
APPLAUSE All you have to remember is this - the pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated, so keep your scores as low as you dare! Best of luck to all four pairs.
Our category this evening is Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second? And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.
OK, and our question concerns Richard.
Yes, we're going to show you a list of 14 fictional magazines and newspapers that come from TV shows, or films, or books, or comic books.
We just need you to tell us where these fictional magazines and newspapers come from, please.
In each case, we're going to give you a character from the work they're from and the year in which it first appeared as well.
So, where would you find these fictional publications? Thank you very much indeed.
OK, so we are looking for the books, films, or TV shows that first featured these fictional publications.
Here is our first board of seven.
We have got I'll read those all one last time.
Lizo, welcome back to Pointless.
Great to have you here.
Podium one this time, on the balls of your feet.
Now, you are the BBC Entertainment Correspondent.
Correct.
That encompasses quite a lot.
What are the fun bits and what are the least fun bits of that job? It's basically all fun.
I get to go to the big award ceremonies like the Baftas, and the Brits, and the Oscars.
That sounds terribly, terribly arduous! And the great thing is you get to meet so many wonderful, creative people.
Not just necessarily famous, lots of behind-the-camera people, so it's a great way to meet fascinating people, which to me is what journalism has always been all about.
Well, that's good.
I suppose the bit of it you have to do, which I can't imagine you look forward to, is the press junket.
Do you have a way of taking the curse off that? Because neither side of that negotiation enjoys it, do they? Well, you just have to try and ask interesting, different questions to what's gone before, and to hope you can just gee them up a bit and get something that nobody else has quite got in that situation.
But it is, er It's a big challenge.
It certainly is.
Now, talking of big challenges, Lizo, what about these fictional publications? Is there one out there that you think is going to be more obscure than the others that you know? Um Yes.
I'm going to go for Millennium.
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, says Lizo.
Let's see if that's right.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.
Look at that! Very well done indeed.
Ten for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Lizo.
Great start to the show.
Yeah, very good start on podium one as well.
Well done, Lizo.
Part of a trilogy, the Millennium Trilogy, which sold millions upon millions upon millions of books.
Thank you, Richard.
Now, Jane.
Welcome.
Jane, I suppose you're best known probably for your column in The Sun.
When you first started that, were you very nervous? No, because I'd been working on the paper for a while by then, and so I kind of knew You kind of knew what to expect? Yeah.
I mean, you can't really be ambivalent in The Sun.
You have to come out with all guns blazing and know exactly what your position is.
You can a bit.
You can choose.
There's a lot of things to choose from.
So you can find things usually that you have a very strong opinion on in every given week.
I've been doing it for 22 years now, so You've never had a week where you've thought, there's nothing I really feel particularly strongly about? Occasionally "I'd better go out and start an argument "with someone, so I can write about it!" Jane, what would you like to go for on our board of fictitious? I wanted to go for the one that Lizo's just done, because I knew that.
I know the top two, but they're going to be very popular.
Erm So I don't know whether to take a risk or not.
Erm I'll go for the Amity Island Gazette.
Amityville Horror.
Amityville Horror, says Jane.
Let's see if that's right.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.
I'm afraid not Amityville Horror, Jane.
That scores you 100 points.
Sorry, Jane.
We do like it when people take risks, but I'll give the correct answer at the end of the pass.
And there might be a column in it! That's something! We've got a column in it! LAUGHTER Rosie, now, you were the first female editor of a broadsheet.
Yes, I edited The Independent On Sunday and then I edited The Independent.
And how was that? Fantastic.
It was such a deeply male world, wasn't it, Fleet Street? It was a deeply male world, and in fact people tried to get things over on you, but No, I found that actually it was rather good being a woman.
I felt rather proud of it, and I think it had some advantages.
And you then went on from that to the Daily Express.
I did, and I went to in fact Eve's newspaper, because Eve had been editor of the Sunday Express before.
I took over the Daily.
At that time, we were having an attempt to turn it into a left-wing version of the Daily Mail.
Make of that what you will! LAUGHTER Rosie, what would you like to go for on this board? Well, I'm going to pick up The Amity Island Gazette, and it's Jaws.
Jaws, says Rosie.
Let's see if it's right.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Jaws.
It IS right.
That is .
.
a fabulous score.
APPLAUSE Look at that.
Down to 25.
Very well done, Rosie.
Yeah, and in the film, the reporter from The Amity Gazette is Carl Gottlieb, who's one of the writers of the film.
That's rather nice.
That is nice.
Yeah.
Thank you very much, Richard.
Victoria, welcome to Pointless.
Hello.
How are you? I'm very well, thank you.
Now then, your show, doing fantastically well on television now, started its life on Radio 5 Live.
Yes.
And then it sort of moved on to screen.
Did you take the whole team with you? Did you have to get rid of some people and bring more television people on board? Those are decisions way above my pay grade.
Right.
Did it feel very much like the same programme? We sort of wanted it to, but then we realised television is quite different to radio, and it needs a lot more people and it's a lot faffier than radio, and But, yeah, we've got used to it now.
We've been going for two years and hopefully doing all right.
Do you look back fondly on the radio show, or do you feel that TV is actually the? I love both.
I love radio, and I've got loads to learn in television and I'm enjoying it, yeah.
Fabulous.
Now, Victoria, you're the last person to have this board.
If you want to, you could fill in all of those blanks for us.
OK.
I can't, but I'll So the first one is obviously EastEnders.
Erm The second one has got to be The Simpsons, has it? The third one, I don't know.
The fourth one, I don't know.
And the last one, is it Superman? Which would you like to go for? Erm I'm going to go for The Simpsons.
The Simpsons, The Springfield Shopper.
Let's see if that's right.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said The Simpsons.
It's right.
Not a bad score.
43 for The Simpsons.
APPLAUSE You went for the right one of the ones you knew there, Victoria.
I'll fill in the board.
The Walford Gazette is EastEnders, a big scorer though.
It would've scored 75 points.
The Pioneer.
Do you know The Pioneer? It's the sort of thing you might know.
George Elliot, yeah.
Za-da Oh, it's not Za-zer It's Middlemarch.
One point for that.
Mode is Ugly Betty.
Would've scored you eight points.
And the New York Daily Inquirer, not Superman.
Citizen Kane.
Citizen Kane, yes.
That would've scored two points.
So Middlemarch is the best answer up there.
Well done if you said that.
Thank you very much, Richard.
We are halfway through the round.
Let's take a quick look at those scores.
Well, ten, Lizo, very well done indeed.
Best score of the pass by quite a way there.
Then we travel up to 25, where we find Rosie and Frank.
Then it is up to 43, where we find Victoria and Eve, and then 100, I'm afraid, Jane and Ian.
Who knows what'll happen in the next pass, Ian, but we need a low score from you.
I'll try my best.
Let's hope that will keep you in the game.
Best of luck.
We're going to come back down the line now.
Can the second players please step up to the podium? OK, let's put seven more fictional publications up on the board - and here they come.
I'll read them again.
Eve, welcome to Pointless.
Lovely to have you with us.
Lovely to be here.
Now, Eve, I read somewhere that you've been to every single royal wedding since 1973.
Oh, no, since Henry VIII! LAUGHTER I have covered them all, yes.
You've gone in a journalistic capacity? Oh, yes, of course.
I wouldn't be invited, would I? But you would, surely? SHE LAUGHS So, hang on, whose was in 1973? Princess Anne's first wedding.
I see.
And you have done all of them.
Do you have a favourite, Eve? Oh, they were all amazing in their different way.
I remember Princess Diana getting out of that coach, and the dress was totally creased, and I thought, "It looks like an unmade bed.
"What are we going to say?" And then they straightened it out and it looked magnificent.
There we are.
I have one other unrelated question to ask you.
You've written a book about the life of Jackie Onassis, Jackie Kennedy.
When you have written a book about a person like that, do you feel so proprietary about it that you almost can't bear to watch a film, let's say, about her, or read someone else's book? You can bear to watch it, but you see the mistakes.
LAUGHTER LAUGHING: You see the "mistakes"! And you think you want to wade in and say, "No .
.
you've missed all this out.
" Or, "You haven't covered this.
" No.
The thing about journalists, you know, they write and they move on.
Right.
And, er, that's what you have to do.
Right, I see.
OK, well, we are going to move on here, Eve.
You have a lovely, pristine board there.
What would you like to go for? I don't think I know any of them.
I mean, I do know the bottom one, but I don't really want to do that.
I mean, I'm I am of course The Morning Post? No.
I'm sorry, I'm going to have to go for the one with the highest number, which is Weatherfield Gazette, which is, of course, Coronation Street.
Coronation Street, says Eve.
That is what you're going for.
If you can get below this line, Eve, you are through to Round Two with Coronation Street.
It's right.
Nearly.
64.
I think you've done enough.
I should've thought that would get you through.
It takes your total up to 107.
Yeah.
Oh, it's a lot of pressure now on Ian on podium two.
Oooh Look at that.
He could be a hero, couldn't he? He could.
Might not be, but could be.
Could be.
The option is there, isn't it? Yes.
Frank, welcome back.
Now, last time you were here, you were just about to publish Crisis, your first thriller novel, which I have to say I read and I loved.
What I badly want to know - Luke Carlton, will he be coming back? Is there another novel? Absolutely! He's coming back.
LAUGHTER Are there many other foreign correspondents who've written, who have your kind of in-depth knowledge, who have written novels? Probably, yeah.
I mean, it's It is a huge leap to jump out of your skin as a kind of news, objective news correspondent, to actually start inventing conversations and people who don't exist.
It's completely counterintuitive, so I've had a very steep learning curve with this, but it's great fun and it's weird at the end of the day to put away the news hat and start typing away.
I'm so glad it's coming back.
Will we be seeing Luke Carlton in any other media, that's the thing? Has anyone been in touch yet to buy the film rights? Yes, they have.
Hollywood has been in touch.
Are you looking for a leading man, someone with range? Erm He's too young and too good-looking.
We need a real bruiser, I think.
LAUGHTER I mean, it's early days yet.
You'd be very good, though, because you can handle the roughhousing, because you're a very physical man.
But also you're very suave, you're very debonair.
Yeah.
You can do a little bit of both.
Mm.
Good with his hands.
Yeah, the ladies want you.
Men want to be you, you know? That's a good thing, right? Thank you, Richard.
Thank you.
LAUGHTER Thank you, yes.
OK.
So, Frank, what would you like to go for here? You're on 25.
If you can score 81 or less, you are through to the next round.
I've got to be honest, I only know one of them - so I'm going to give you Runway.
Devil Wears Prada.
Devil Wears Prada, says Frank.
Here is your red line.
Get below that with The Devil Wears Prada, you're into Round Two.
How many people said The Devil Wears Prada? It's right - and you're through.
Look at that! Very well done indeed, Frank.
Nine for that, taking your total up to 34.
APPLAUSE Well played, Frank.
You know, given some of the answers up there, when you said I only know one of them, I did not expect it to be The Devil Wears Prada, I'll be honest.
LAUGHTER What are you saying? Nothing.
I'm just saying you are a man of many talents.
That's all I'm saying.
Thank you, Richard.
Ian.
Hi.
Ian! Now, you're a TV reviewer.
Yes.
Which means he's wonderful, isn't he? Isn't he terrific? He's much taller than you imagine.
But also handsome.
He would be a very good Hollywood hero.
I think he would.
I think he would.
Look no further.
I might need another job after this.
LAUGHTER Now, Ian, presumably in the olden days, you would have all your stuff sent through to you on DVD.
These days, I imagine it's just sent through, click through the file.
Everything is Yeah, most of it's online.
I'm old enough to remember VHS copies as well.
Goodness me.
But what I'm getting at is most of your week, I suppose, is spent watching telly.
That's what you have to do.
Have you devised clever ways? Have you got a treadmill with a telly on? Have you got a telly in a gym? Have you got tellies in exciting places? Do I look like I work out watching television? LAUGHTER You don't look like you spend 40 hours a week sitting on a sofa eating biscuits! I might occasionally stand up and do a stretch Seriously? .
.
but usually I'm sitting down, yeah.
But have you got tellies in interesting places? I've got one in West London.
Does that count? LAUGHTER It's certainly interesting, yeah.
Very good indeed.
Now then, Ian.
This is where the game happens here.
You have to score six or less.
Six points or less.
Can you do it? I don't even know if this is correct, but something in my head is saying To Kill A Mockingbird for Atticus Finch.
OK, you're going to say To Kill A Mockingbird.
Here is what your red line looks like.
It's low.
There it is.
If you can get below that, you're into Round Two.
How many of our 100 people said it? APPLAUSE 22.
That's a really good answer.
22 takes your total up to 122.
Yeah, you've made Eve and Victoria very happy there, Ian.
First time for everything! LAUGHTER On my account, I mean, not! I know what you mean.
Dan, welcome.
You arrived here, aged 21, from New Zealand Yes.
.
.
having worked as an entertainment columnist there.
Yes.
And you arrived doing exactly the same job over here.
How long did it take you to acclimatise? Well, it took me a couple of years, and actually that's why I'm slightly terrified today, because there's that institutional knowledge that you don't necessarily have, from not growing up in Britain, even though I was always very interested in British pop culture and pop culture news from around the world, soyeah.
Did anyone take you under their wing and say, "Look, just so you know, these are the members of this boyband"? I had moments where I would just swot up all day, all night, especially on soap characters, although I'd be useless if a soap came up today.
But there was a period when I would just read about every soap character because I would have one editor who would come in and say, "Who is this character?" I mean, I hadn't watched any of them.
But I sort of feel like a bit of an honorary Brit now, and I've got a British passport and all of that type of thing, so I've done all right, hopefully.
You certainly have.
Now, Dan, the good news is you're through to the next round.
It doesn't matter what you score here, so a little bit of pressure off there.
But traditionally, when we get to the end of the round, end of each pass, we like to ask somebody to fill in the board.
Do not even ask me to fill in the blanks! Please don't! Do you want to do some thinking out loud even? No, no! Absolutely not.
I'm not going to talk through the board, but I think I am going to go for The Daily Slate, which I believe is The Flintstones.
The Flintstones, says Dan.
No red line.
You're already through.
Let's see how many of our 100 people agree with Dan.
Thank goodness! It's right.
54.
Not bad at all, taking your total up to 64.
Second lowest total of the round, I might add.
Well played, Dan.
Let's fill in the rest of this board.
The Daily Prophet is of course? Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone.
That was the first one.
That would've scored you 36.
The Daily Beast, one of the greatest books of all time.
It's from Scoop.
Scoop! Of course.
Three points for that.
And this is a pointless answer.
It's a wonderful film but a pointless answer.
Very well done if you said His Girl Friday.
Pointless answer.
Thank you very much, Richard.
We are at the end of our first round.
We have to say goodbye to one of our pairs.
Ian and Jane, I'm sorry to say that you are our high-scoring pair, so we have to say goodbye to you, but thank you so much for playing.
Totally my fault.
Sorry.
It's been great having you here.
Ian and Jane, thanks so much.
APPLAUSE But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.
And look at that - suddenly we're down to three pairs.
At the end of this round, I'm afraid, we'll have to shed another of the pairs in front of me.
I don't know which pair that is going to be.
Lizo, I have to say a special congratulations to you for your lowest individual score in that round.
Frank and Rosie, lowest combined score, which was very impressive.
And Eve and Victoria, well done, you're here.
Hurray! Amazing! LAUGHTER It's marvellous! Listen, best of luck to all three pairs.
Our category for Round Two this evening is Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second? And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.
OK.
Let's find out what the question is.
Here it comes.
We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many countries with a population between 1 million and 100 million as they could.
Richard? Yeah, simply looking for any country of the world whose population is between 1 million and 100 million as of September 2017, please, according to the CIA World Fact Book.
As always, by "country" we mean a sovereign state that's a member of the UN in its own right.
There are well over half the countries in the world who fit into this.
There's 140 answers here and loads and loads and loads of pointless answers as well.
Thank you very much indeed.
So, yes, we are looking for you to name any country that you think has a population between 1 million and 100 million, that you also hope was so obscure that it wasn't named by any of these people.
Now Dan, we come to you first.
Yes, and I'm going to go back to my heritage, because a lot of people think New Zealand is a lot smaller than it is, so I'm hoping people thought maybe it was under 1 million.
So I'm going to go New Zealand.
New Zealand, says Dan.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said New Zealand.
New Zealand is right.
Down you go to 15.
Very well done, Dan.
Great start to the round.
APPLAUSE Well played, Dan.
4.
5 million people in New Zealand.
Actually, 4,499,999 since you left.
We're doing well, we're doing well.
Yeah.
Thank you, Richard.
Frank, where are you thinking of? I'm going to go for Burkina Faso.
Burkina Faso, says Frank.
It sounds good.
Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Burkina Faso.
It's right.
15 is the only score we have posted at this point.
You've passed 15.
It's a pointless answer! Very, very well done indeed, Frank.
APPLAUSE That adds ã250 to today's jackpot, taking the total up to ã2750.
And it scores you nothing and earns you our undying respect.
That's fantastic.
Very well done.
I said they were highbrow on that third podium.
I get the sense that Frank could probably answer that question all day, at this point.
LAUGHTER Very impressive.
20 million people in Burkina Faso.
Thank you, Richard.
Victoria.
So, any country with a population between 1 million and 100 million.
Erm I'm going to go for Rwanda.
Rwanda, says Victoria.
Let's see if that's right.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Rwanda.
It's right.
15's our highest score.
Pointless is our low.
You've passed 15 And it's another pointless answer! Very well done indeed, Victoria! That adds another ã250 to today's jackpot, takes the total up to a nice round ã3,000.
It also scores you nothing.
Very well done, Victoria.
Fantastic.
This is brilliant.
Well played, Victoria.
This is so much better than a normal Pointless Celebrities.
Normally we'd have H from Steps and The Cheeky Girls saying all sorts of stuff! LAUGHTER But this is great.
Two pointless answers in a row.
11 million people in Rwanda.
Thank you, Richard.
We're halfway through the round.
Let's take a quick recap of those scores.
Only two scores between the three pairs, and those two scores are nothing and 15.
Victoria, Eve, Rosie and Frank all on nothing, and Dan and Lizo ahead there on 15.
So, Lizo, we need a lovely low score from you.
And let's see what happens in the next pass.
Good luck.
We're going to come back down the line now.
Can the second players please step up to the podium? So, Eve, remember we are looking for any country of the world with a population between 1 million and 100 million.
I think the Congo.
The Congo, says Eve.
Let's see if that's right.
Here is your red line.
If you can get below that red line with the Congo you are through to the next round.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.
Very well done! Oh, it's a one! APPLAUSE One for the Congo.
It's weird when one seems disappointing, doesn't it? LAUGHTER It's a terrific answer.
Nearly 5 million people in the Congo.
Slightly bigger than New Zealand.
Thank you, Richard.
Now then, Rosie.
Estonia.
Estonia, says Rosie.
You want to score 14 or less here.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Estonia.
There's your red line.
It's right.
And you're through.
Four for Estonia.
APPLAUSE Giving you a total of four.
Well played, Rosie.
You know, it's only just over a million, Estonia.
You'd think it was much bigger.
It's 1.
2 million, Estonia.
There was something about the way Rosie said that.
I think you knew it was quite close.
Well, it was all those countries around the Baltic that people think are bigger.
For that reason, it deserved to score less than four.
I think Rosie and Frank are OK with it.
Yeah.
They're through.
Exactly.
I tell you who's not OK with it.
Well, exactly.
We were going to come to that.
Lizo.
I'm sorry to say, I'm sorry, even before you've given your answer, and I know you'll have a good one.
HE SIGHS I'm afraid you are our high-scorers.
Nonetheless, Lizo, wouldn't it be nice as a parting gift just to leave another 250 quid for the jackpot? I think that would be fitting and proper.
I'm going to go for Ivory Coast.
Ivory Coast, says Lizo.
Let's see if that's right.
There's no red line for you, I'm afraid, as you are the high-scorers, but let's see how far down the column we get with Ivory Coast.
Oh! It's another one.
Very good indeed, Lizo.
Lovely low score there, taking your total up to 16.
Yeah, Cote d'Ivoire.
Ivory Coast.
What a great round.
21 points between the three teams.
16 is a very, very low score to be knocked out on, so congratulations to everybody.
Lots and lots of pointless answers.
Let's take a look at a few of them because I know people at home will be shouting stuff out at the screen.
We'll take a look at the first few and then I'll go through a few more.
All would have added money to the jackpot.
As would Central African Republic, the Pointless favourite.
It hasn't been pointless for a while, Central African Republic.
No, no.
There's Afghanistan, Angola, Benin, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Burundi, Cambodia, Costa Rica, Ecuador, Eritrea, Guinea, Haiti, Kazakhstan, Kuwait, Kyrgyzstan, Macedonia, Madagascar, Malawi, Mali, Moldova, Mongolia, Mozambique.
This is if the Eurovision Song Contest ever goes worldwide, I'll be the guy they call in.
Slovenia, Somalia, South Sudan, Swaziland, The Gambia, Timor-Leste, Togo, Turkmenistan and Yemen, all pointless answers.
Shall we take a look at the top three, the ones most of our 100 people said? We didn't go anywhere near any of these, it was such a terrific round.
Spain would have scored you 42 points.
Germany would have scored you 46.
And the French up the top there on 57.
The UK, by the way, we did poll the UK and with 64 million odd, but we only scored 42! Thank you, Richard.
At the end of our second round, we have to say goodbye to another pair.
Lizo and Dan, as Richard says, 16 is a piddling score to be going home with, I'm afraid, but there you are.
You are the high-scorers, so we have to say goodbye.
Thank you so much for playing.
Lizo and Dan.
Fabulous contestants.
APPLAUSE But for our two remaining pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.
Congratulations, Rosie and Frank, Eve and Victoria.
You're now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for our jackpot, which currently stands at ã3,000.
APPLAUSE This is the point where we decide who gets to play for that jackpot, and we do it by making you go head-to-head, but the big difference is, the nice difference is, you can now start playing as a pair, so you can confer before you give your answers.
The first pair in this round to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.
You are actually perfectly evenly matched.
We've had a pointless answer from each pair.
Very impressive low-scoring answers.
In fact, the only thing that puts Rosie and Frank ahead was Frank's Devil Wears Prada answer in Round One.
You know me.
Fashion, that's me.
More and more.
Very best of luck to both pairs.
Let's play the head-to-head.
APPLAUSE Here is your first question and it concerns Best Picture Oscar winners.
Richard.
We're going to show you five pictures now which are visual clues to the titles of films which have won the Best Picture Oscar.
Can you name the films, please, from these clues? Thank you very much indeed.
Let's reveal our five visual clues and here they come.
We have got There we are.
Five Best Picture Oscar winners.
Rosie and Frank, you're our low scorers, so you will go first.
OK, we're going to go for D, The Deer Hunter.
Deer Hunter, say Rosie and Frank.
The Deer Hunter.
Eve and Victoria, do you fancy going through all of those and seeing how many of them you can answer? Funnily enough, not at all! Shall we just say the one we think we know? We know Go on, start with A, because you know that.
We think A is High Noon.
No, we don't.
We don't? No, we don't, sorry.
Yeah, we do, Clockwork Orange.
Oh, do we? No, but it might not be.
Hang on, you're right.
I'm not, necessarily.
It's got to be.
OK.
We don't have to choose that.
Even if this isn't your answer, what do you think it is, Victoria? Eve is right, it's High Noon.
I thought for a second it was Clockwork Orange, but it's not.
B, we don't know.
C, Ben-Hur? I don't know.
E Dancing With Wolves.
So what are we going to go for? We'll go for A, shall we? High Noon.
High Noon, say Eve and Victoria.
So we have The Deer Hunter and we have High Noon.
Rosie and Frank went with The Deer Hunter.
Let's see if that is right for D.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.
It is right.
44 for The Deer Hunter.
Eve and Victoria, meanwhile, have gone for High Noon for A.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said High Noon.
Oh, no! No.
I fear not, High Noon.
That, I'm afraid, scores you 100 points and that means well done, Rosie and Frank.
After one question, you are up 1-0.
Yeah.
Well played.
I'm afraid High Noon wasn't a Best Picture winner.
Also, it was from 1952, High Noon, not from '69.
That one is Midnight Cowboy.
Midnight Cowboy.
Oh, gosh! Didn't even think of that.
You know what, once you've got it in your head I know.
Once you've seen the 12, nothing you can do about it.
22 points for that.
The next one Got that one? No.
I think Rosie's got it.
Have you got it, Rosie? She got it.
The English Patient.
The English Patient.
Of course! Absolutely.
That would have scored you 25.
The third one, you really need to know who that gentleman is.
And that's Martin Offiah.
The rugby player.
So it's Chariots of Fire.
It IS Chariots of Fire.
That would have scored you 36.
And the last one, I think you knew, is Dances with Wolves.
And that would have scored you 27.
Should have gone for that.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
So, here comes your second question.
Eve and Victoria, you get to answer this one first, but you have to win it to stay in the game, so very best of luck.
Our second question today is all about Richard.
We're going to play you five clips now from songs from the UK top 40, all made by bands whose names include occupations.
Can you name the most obscure of these bands, please? OK.
Let's have a listen to these five clips.
Here is our first clip.
A.
# Every little thing she does is magic # Everything she do just turn me on # Even though my life before was tragic Now I know my love for her goes on Here is B.
# I could've been a contender # I could've been a someone # Caught up in the rat race # I'm feeling like a no-one # Appearing in the papers # With money and the girls I could've been the Heavyweight Champion of the World Here is C.
# Looking back over my shoulder # I can see that look in your eye I never dreamed it could be over Here is D.
# It's raining men # Hallelujah, it's raining men # Amen # I'm going to go out # I'm going to let myself get Absolutely soaking wet And here is E.
# People are fragile things, you should know by now # Be careful what you put them through People are fragile things, you should know by now OK.
There we are.
Now then, Eve and Victoria.
You first.
I can't remember which letter it is but it's The Weather Girls.
OK.
You are going to say The Weather Girls for D? Yes.
Weather Girls.
OK.
The Weather Girls has been taken.
Rosie and Frank? We will go for A, Police.
A, The Police.
So, we have The Weather Girls and we have The Police.
Eve and Victoria went for The Weather Girls.
Let's see if that is right, let's see how many of our 100 people said The Weather Girls.
It's right.
64 for The Weather Girls.
Rosie and Frank, meanwhile, have gone for The Police for A.
Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said The Police.
It is The Police.
And that scores 61.
Very well done indeed.
Just pipping The Weather Girls there.
I knew this was going to be close, but that means, Rosie and Frank, very well done indeed.
After only two questions, you're straight through to the final, 2-0.
Yeah, very, very close.
Unlucky there.
Let's fill in the rest of this board, shall we? B I don't know this one.
Very well done at home Do you know that one? No.
No? That's Reverend and the Makers, Heavyweight Champion of the World.
It's a very low scorer as well.
Would have scored you two points.
I suspect some people at home will have got C.
Let's have a little listen.
Mike and the Mechanics.
Mike and the Mechanics, yeah.
And that would have scored you 18.
There they are, look.
And E Now, this is the name of a band If Rosie and Eve started a band together, which, by the way, you should do, this would be the name.
It's Editors.
And that would have scored you Never heard of them.
.
.
three points.
Well, you have now.
They are a good band.
Good band, Editors.
They used to be called Pilot, which also would have worked for this question.
That's nice.
Brilliant.
Fantastic.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
So, we have come to the end of our head-to-head round and I'm very sorry to say, Eve and Victoria, this is where we have to say goodbye to you.
But it's been wonderful having you on the show.
Thank you so much for playing.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Eve and Victoria.
APPLAUSE But for Rosie and Frank, it is now time for our Pointless final.
Well, congratulations, Rosie and Frank, you have fought off all the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.
You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your charities.
And at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at APPLAUSE Well, what a strong performance right across the show, and then seen through with a 2-0 victory in the head-to-head.
I think it's all looking very good for this round.
Anything you'd particularly like to see come up, Rosie? Well, what I wouldn't like to see would be football.
Don't tell them that.
I mean, they're just going to go and change it now.
OK, your turn, Frank.
What do you want to see? Because then they won't give it to us.
I know.
I was thinking the other way round.
It's all decided.
Nanotechnology, please, bring it on.
No Well, as always, you will choose your category from the four we put up on the board here.
Let's hope there's something you like the look of.
We have got Can we have Word Endings, please, teacher? Word Endings.
That was very quick.
Normally people take forever.
Yeah! Thank you very much.
Yeah, we are looking for any of the following, please.
We are looking for any word which has its own entry in OxfordDictionaries.
com in the British and world English section that ends in any of the following So, any word ending in any of those.
As always, no hyphenated words, no proper nouns, but any of those, very, very best of luck.
Thank you very much indeed.
Now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.
All you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers to be pointless.
You don't have to answer all three of those categories, you can spread your answers across whichever ones of those categories catch your eye and appeal to you.
Are you ready? No, we'd like another ten minutes, please.
That's fine.
I'm kidding.
Are you ready? Yeah.
Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.
There they are.
Your time starts now.
OK, well, there's sketch.
Sketch.
Sketch is one.
Fetch.
Are you allowed Scotch? Yeah.
Are you sure? Isn't that a proper name? Hey, we've got 48 seconds.
Let's discuss it.
I think it's too well-known.
Too well-known? I think that's Blotch? Blotch is good.
Blotch.
Blotch, fetch.
I think sketch is well-known.
Let's go for blotch.
Yeah, blotch is good.
Is it a proper word though? Yeah, yeah.
I think blotch is going to be slightly rarer than I don't know why we're speaking quietly.
We'll speak loudly.
Come on, we've only got 21 seconds.
OK.
Shall we go for blotch? Yeah.
So, blotch, sketch, and fetch.
Vetch? Yes.
The flower? V.
Oh, vetch! Brilliant.
Let's go for that first! Let's go for that.
Ten seconds.
We have to OK.
Vetch, blotch and fetch.
Sketch.
Sketch is the last one.
That's it.
We've submitted.
OK.
There we are, and your time is up there.
Let's have those three again.
You're going for? Vetch.
Vetch.
With a V.
With a V.
Vetch.
Blotch.
Blotch.
And Sketch.
Sketch.
And sketch.
Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer? I think I know.
Vetch.
Vetch we put last.
Least likely to be pointless? Sketch.
Sketch.
And blotch goes in the middle.
In the middle.
OK.
Well, let's put the answers up on the board in that order, then.
And here they are We've got Well, very good luck.
Three good answers on the board there.
Now, if one of these turns out to be pointless and wins that jackpot for you, which charities are you playing for? Rosie, you first.
I'm playing for Marie Colvin's charity that was set up after her death.
She died in Syria, war correspondent.
And she has a wonderful charity which helps primarily female war correspondents that are on their own, primarily in the Middle East, and it's a network that keeps them in touch and hopefully keeps them safe.
Excellent.
Frank, how about you? Mine will be again Back Up Trust, which is a very small charity that does great things on very little money.
It gets mostly people with .
.
young people with spinal cord injury who are more paralysed than I am, it gets them up doing things like skiing, water-skiing, rock climbing, things that they thought were never possible after a catastrophic life injury.
It turns their lives around and it does wonderful things on a shoestring budget.
Fantastic.
Back Up Trust.
APPLAUSE Well, Marie Colvin and Back Up Trust, two fabulous charities there.
Let's hope one of these answers will win that jackpot for you so you can share it between them.
Your first answer was sketch.
In this case, we were looking for words ending in E-T-C-H.
If this is pointless, it will win you ã3,000.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said sketch.
It's right.
63 for sketch.
APPLAUSE It goes slowly, doesn't it, when it's not going to go down.
Unfortunately, not a pointless answer there, so we move on to your next answer, which was blotch.
Again, if this is pointless, it will win you ã3,000.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said blotch.
It's right.
Well, 63 is the only score we have thus far.
That was for sketch.
Down goes blotch, through the 30s, into the 20s.
We are still going down.
Into the teens.
Into single figures.
Down to seven for blotch.
APPLAUSE Now, that is more like it.
Irritatingly, though, we only accept pointless answers in this last round, so we have to move on to your third and final answer, which is vetch.
Now, this is a very good answer.
We've got to hope that this goes all the way down and if it does, it will win you ã3,000.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said vetch.
Is it pointless? Well, it's right.
63 was what you scored for sketch.
Seven is what you scored for blotch.
Vetch, though, taking us down into single figures, down we go.
Oh, to six.
Oh, no! APPLAUSE I thought vetch was going to go a lot So did I.
.
.
further down than that, I must say.
Anyway, three good scores.
Two really good scores there.
But three good answers, anyhow.
But I'm afraid you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer, so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of ã3,000.
However, as it is a celebrity special, we are going to donate ã500 to each celebrity pair for their respective charities, and it's been lovely having you on the show, so thank you so much for playing, and you get a Pointless trophy each, so well done, Rosie and Frank.
APPLAUSE I'm amazed we're still here.
We are still here! Yeah, very well played.
I did say at the beginning it was going to be an impressive show and it really has been and you've played terrifically all the way through.
I'm sorry we didn't get the pointless answer in that last category.
Let's take a look at the pointless answers though.
We'll start with words ending E-T-C-H and there's ones that people at home would have got here.
Outstretch is a pointless answer.
Overstretch also a pointless answer.
Slightly harder, prestretch, and refetch.
Well done if you got any of those.
Interestingly, vetch scored six, but kvetch scored one, which is also a lovely answer.
I'm sure some people at home would have said that.
"Otch" now.
Look at this top one.
Butterscotch.
You talked about Scotch.
Butterscotch, that's interesting.
Hootch, which is illegal alcohol.
Scootch, as in scootching up on the sofa, I'm sure some people are.
And, yeah, a splotch is just a blotch by another name and would have been a pointless answer.
A couple of lovely words there.
You'd have got seven points for hopscotch and you'd have got two points for hotchpotch.
Aww! And "utches", these are harder.
Very well done if you got any of these.
The first one on this board is a worm used in fishing and it's an angledutch.
Thrutch, which is a narrow gorge or ravine.
And to let go of something is to unclutch, apparently.
So, very well done if you got any of those at home.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
And thank you so much, Rosie and Frank.
Thank you for playing so well.
Join us next time, when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.
Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard Goodbye.
.
.
and it's goodbye from me.
Goodbye.
APPLAUSE
Previous EpisodeNext Episode