Preacher (2016) s01e02 Episode Script

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1 (announcer) Previously on "Preacher" (Chris Schenck) People said before you came back here, you did things.
- So, let me tell you about this job.
- No, don't bother.
I'm not doing jobs anymore.
Come on, Jesse.
I already got the map.
Trust me, that was the hard part.
(Cassidy) How'd you wankers find me, then? Woo! What kind of a preacher are you? - Jesse Custer.
- Cassidy.
This why I've come home to save you.
It's here.
[Wheezing] [Birds cawing in distance] [Wind whistling] [Wheezing continues] [Whistling continues] [Cawing continues] [Door opens] [Wind howling] [Woman coughs] [Creaking] [Water trickles] [Softly] Guten abend Gut Nacht Mit Rosen bedacht Mit Naglein besteckt Schlupf unter die Deck [Sighs softly] [German accent] You have to go.
[Hinges creak] [Hinges creak] [Coughs] Two days.
Three at most.
Stay the horse.
Keep to your affairs.
Come back to us.
[Horse snorts] - [Horse clopping] - [Coughs] [Thunder rumbling] [Insects chirping] [Horse whinnies] [Animals howling] [Growl] [Horse whinnies] [Growling, slavering] [Horse whinnies] Boy: Mister! [Horse whinnies] Hey! Stop! [Breathing heavily] Saw you passin'.
Told Pa, I'd run over and inquire if you're hungry.
Dinner's just on.
- [Insects chirping] - Man: We worried for a while, but, uh, weather broke 30 miles this side of Rio Brazos.
Sun in sky ever since, peaceful as can be.
[Dog barking in distance] - You ever been to St.
Louis? - [Dogs whines, barks] Not much more than lawyers and loud noises these days.
Degenerational turpitude.
Noon to night and twice on Sundays.
- [Chuckles] - [Barking continues] So, opportunity arose to get outta there and come off to these parts.
Strike a claim in the wilderness 'fore it's all gone for good.
[Dog barks, whines] Silas, move those dogs from the wagons, would ya? Drivin' us batty.
[Dog whines] Anyway, no regrets so far.
[Barking continues] [Chuckling] The things we've seen already, mm.
Stars, birds, elk three times.
Some other things, too.
Things that get the blood hot and runnin' red.
Yep.
Ask if he's seen any injuns, Pa.
Shh, hush now, boy.
He'd-a said.
Though, you don't say much, now, do you, Mister? [Chuckles] No harm in that.
"Silence is as deep as eternity, and speech is shallow as time.
" But this country mm.
It's more than just trees and rivers.
It's a promise.
An ancient contract 'neath these new landscapes and particulars, but its terms are everlasting and made payable to the righteous.
What do you say to that, sir? Do you agree? Yes or no? That this is paradise.
[Fire crackles] It ain't.
- Who is your savior? - [Water splashes] Jesus is my savior.
- Singing God and His mercy - [Water splashes] Singing God and His goodness Who is your Lord? Jesus is Lord.
[Water splashes] Do you promise to live as follower of the Holy Spirit? I will.
Give to God what is God's Do you believe that Jesus Christ suffered death, was buried, rose again, and is seated at the right hand of the Father? [Water splashes] [Applause] All right.
Doesn't make sense.
[Birds chirping] [Exhales softly] Well - [Water splashes] - [Grunts] [Applause] Tulip: Save me, Father.
Get outta here.
Save me, Father.
[Water splashes] You admit you're a sinner and in need of a savior? Definitely.
["Full Grown Man" by Margaret Lewis plays] - Well, I'm a full-grown man - [Water splashes] And I got an easy style [Gasps] - [Applause] - [Exhales sharply] [Jesse sighs] Time to get to work.
I said no.
Meantime thanks for getting me all wet.
[Water splashes] When the little girls pass by me I just wink my eye Next.
[Tires screech] [Engine revs] Who was that? Hm? I'll go start the cappuccino.
[Footsteps depart] [Machine sputtering] Stupid piece of - Yeah, I think the metal thing's - [Sighs] supposed to go inside the milk.
Miles, I got it under control, thanks.
Okay.
You see, otherwise, it's not gonna foam.
Miles, I said I have it.
- Oh, what a nice bloke.
- Mm.
- Lovely fella.
- Mm.
No, but you're right.
You know, you have it under control.
Listen, speaking of, you seem to be the one callin' all the shots around here, just, you know, administration-wise.
It's just that me Granny B.
back in Dublin, she got her test back from the doctors those pains we were hoping were anal polyps it's oh, it's bad news.
- What do you want, Cassidy? - I just need an advance.
Yeah, for services rendered like.
What services? Air conditioner's still broken.
I'm waitin' on a part for that.
- Mm-hmm? - Mm-hmm.
[Sighs] Look, listen.
I I'm in the middle of South West Nowhere here, all right? I have no money.
I have no transport.
I'm runnin' dangerously low on drugs.
And I'll do somethin' desperate, I swear to God.
I'm jokin' about.
Don't be like that.
Aw, Christ.
- Ted Ryerson, huh? - Mm.
I mean, cutting your own heart out, that's that's one thing, but I mean, doing it in front of your own mom [Exhales sharply] That's strange.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Oh, thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
Look, I I understand that Cassidy's sort of of disgusting, rude, childish thing can be fun.
I get I get it.
But, um, yesterday there was a case and a half communion wine in the supply closet, and today I'll talk to him.
Okay.
[Chuckles] Apart from that, turnout not too bad, huh? Yeah.
[Exhales] Well, just getting started, need to spread the word meet-and-greets, hospital visits, all those things, you know, we weren't doing before, but And I I need you to visit the Loaches.
After everything that family's gone through.
But, yeah, this is a good day.
[Chuckles] Cassidy: Whoa! [Gasps] Good God! Sorry, lad.
You come through the door there, I went cold with panic.
Sheriff Root: Eugene! See ya later.
[Music playing softly] What the bloody hell happened there? Shotgun.
Tried to kill himself.
He's walking the earth with a face like an arsehole.
Should've tried harder.
Was that an un-Christian thing to say, was it? - [Chuckling] Pretty much.
- All right.
[Chuckles] Poor lad.
Can I have a word with you, Preacher? In private? Yeah, sure.
Just give a second.
Look, Cass, I [Sighs] I'm I'm happy to have you here.
Mm.
- Air conditioner, um, odd jobs.
- [Chuckles] [Sighs] But I got my own job to do, and I I can't have any trouble.
Any more trouble.
Oh.
Mm, all right.
Yeah, no trouble.
Good.
[Sniffs] I like having you around.
All right.
[Chuckles] [Clears throat] Man #1: Murderer.
Who said that? Who said it? No matter how hard I try, you know, these urges like big ropes pulling me.
[Dog barking in distance] No matter how hard I try, you know, can't forget her, you know? Every morning, every afternoon, just sitting behind me with her little backpack on, giggling with her friends.
Sitting there in the back of the bus.
I I was this close to doing something the other day.
- This close.
- Linus.
She's a little girl.
Yeah, I know.
That's why I'm confessing.
You can't tell anyone any of this, right? I mean, you're not allowed to.
- That's this is between us.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
- It's confidential.
Confidential, that's right.
Um, so that's why I came, uh, to, uh, get baptized again.
[Echoing, faded] Urges These urges get taken away - [Ringing] - [Speaking indistinctly] That's it.
[Barking continues] [Ringing continues] to, uh, get forgiven.
That that's how it works, right? So long as you truly repent your sinful thoughts.
Yeah, no, of course, yeah.
I I d-do.
I do, totally.
And as long as you don't act on those urges.
Nope, can't, um Can't act on the urges.
So, Linus [Sniffs] just to review and make sure we understand You gonna have to stop sinning.
I understand.
[Barking continues] All right.
All right.
[Inhales] Thank you, Preacher.
After today, I'm never gonna be the same.
[Barking continues] [Dog barking] [Exhales] [Barking continues] Quiet! [Barking stops] [Wind whistling faintly] [Birds chirping] [Car engine revs] [Blues music playing] Quincannon: All right.
Zero sum meaning to add we must subtract.
A plot subtracted is a hectare added and so on and so forth and et cetera.
All right, 2.
47 acres of feedlot space brings 25, 30 units online.
That's per quarter, not annum.
All right, more units, more positions.
You got your packers, your your sorters, your your herders butchers [Birds chirping] and the like.
Any how Uh, Donnie.
[Donnie sighs, fumbles with briefcase] Put your mark right there.
[Pen scratching] Shall we? [Floorboards creaking] [Creaking continues] [Rumbling] [Blues music plays] [Ding] What? What are you doing? - Come on, Donnie.
Come on.
- [Grunts] Donnie, come on, man, what are you doing? Donnie.
Come on! - [Horn honks] - Aah! Aah! - [Bones crack] - [Grunting] - [Horn continues] - Ohh.
Oh.
[Coughs] Oh.
[Coughs] Oh.
[Horn continues] - [Horn stops] - Aah! [Grunts] - Oh.
- Let's go.
Ohh.
Ah.
[Grunts] Jesse: Taking suggestions for All Saints' Church.
Emily: Good morning, ladies.
Suggestions for All Saints' Church? [Music playing softly] Hey.
No thanks.
We'd love to hear how to make the church better.
Well, we hope to see you on Sunday.
Suggestions? Some of these are actually pretty good.
[Music fades] [Ringing] [Hinges creak] [Car approaching] [Softly] Oh, Christ.
- [Creak] - Tulip: Aw, man.
Talking, shaking hands, handing out fliers.
How am I ever gonna compete with all this excitement? - Yeah, it's real funny.
- What happened, Preacher? Jesus take your wheel? Tulip, what is wrong with you? Nothing anymore.
That baptism thing worked wonders.
I'm changed.
[Engine revs] [Hinges creak] ["Take Care of Us" by The Revelations plays] The days are getting shorter - The nights are getting longer - Ooh, ooh The children are getting hungry They can't hold out much longer - [Keys rattle] - Oh, Lord, I'm praying Lord, I'm praying Hey.
Oh, Lord, I'm praying Hard day at the office, dear? Huh? Take care of us down here All right, well, come on, then, will ya? Dinner's gettin' cold.
I lived a life of sin - Now I'm down within - Ooh, ooh I want you, Lord, to take me and forgive me for my sins Oh, Lord, I'm praying Right.
He has a plan for you, does He? - I believe he does.
- Right.
Let me just get this straight.
The Lord All Powerful, he's took time out of his busy schedule, sit behind his pearly, little desk there, and gone, "Right, angels, here's my plan for Jesse Custer.
" That's right.
And what is it, then? Be here.
Work hard, help others, preach the Gospel.
Be one of the good guys.
Do you know what? He has a plan for me, too.
I'm sure He does.
His plan for me is to let you know that his plan for you is the dumbest, most boring plan he's ever come up with.
So selfishness that's your answer.
Just run around, do whatever whenever you want.
- What kind of a life is that? - An honest one.
[Laughs derisively] "Honest"? Passing the hat for your sick grandmother back home? Now, you just hang on a minute.
She's not me grandmother, but she's me Granny B.
, - and she's had a series of intest - Stealing church wine? That's not fair.
I was gonna pay that back.
I'm sure that's the least of what you done.
What about you?! You broke a man's arm, made him make a bunny sound, you bleedin' hypocrite.
Whatever is I've done, at least I don't call myself honest, you Goddamn loser.
Loser.
Loser is all right.
Look, I'm just sayin', boring's not the worst thing a person can be, Cassidy.
[Exhales] I think you're wrong.
I think boring's the worst.
[Chuckles] [Chuckles] I've been wonderin' who taught you how to fight like that.
Was that your dad? To fight? No, that was someone else.
Oh.
There's a tale to be told there, I think.
Why we always talking about me? What's your story, Cassidy? No, it's pretty typical, really.
I am 119-year-old vampire from Dublin City.
[Chuckles] And I'm currently on the run from a group of vampire-hunting religious vigilantes who keep tracking me down somehow.
What else? I'm a right-handed Sagittarius.
I love Chinese food.
I've never seen the Pacific Ocean.
And I think that "The Big Lebowski's" overrated.
Vampire, huh? [Clicks tongue] Sounds like fun.
Can be.
Sometimes.
Whatcha got there? Mnh-mnh.
[Swallows] No.
Let me see that.
No, I shan't.
It's too potent for ya.
Leave it out.
- Give it.
- After a sip of this, you're not going to feel like one of the "good guys," all right? - So just - Give me that! All right, all right.
Don't spill it! Don't spill it! [Sighs] [Sniffs] That's a combination of rubbing alcohol, coffee-machine descaler, and a bit of shite I found dripping out the back of the air-conditioning unit.
- [Gulps] - [Sniffs] [Sighs] [Sniffs] I like "The Big Lebowski.
" [Floor creaks] [Thud] No.
No, that's a shite film.
[Bottle clatters] [Keys rattle] [Women singing in Spanish over radio] Buenas tardes.
Would you like one towel or two? [Singing continues] No.
Señor, asking, would you like one towel or two? No.
[Sighs] No towels, sí.
Good night.
[Footsteps depart] Ready? ["Rusty Cage" by Johnny Cash plays] When the forest burns along the road Like God's eyes in my headlights I'm gonna break - I'm gonna break my - [Engine revs] I'm gonna break my rusty cage and run [Keys jingle] I'm gonna break I'm gonna break my I'm gonna break my rusty cage And run [Mechanical whirring] [Snoring] [Hinges creaks] [Creak, thud] [Tools clinking] [Cranking] [Metallic twisting] Ahem.
[Cranking] [Slow-tempo folk tune plays] Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night Sailed off in a wooden shoe Sailed on a river of crystal light Into a sea of dew "Where are you going, and what do you wish?" The old moon asked the three "We've come to fish for the herring fish That lives in this beautiful sea" [Cranking] [Snoring] [Flatly] Sea Doesn't make sense.
On to Plan B.
[Chainsaw revs, whirs] [Whirring continues] Hey! [Whirring stops] Get away from him now, you filthy, little gobshites.
It's me you're lookin' for, right? And honestly, boys, I don't know how you keep finding me.
Truly, I don't.
But I do know that you're going to be sorry you did.
Ah? And not just the kind of "I took half a sheet of LSD down at the bullfight last night" kind of sorry, neither.
No, no, no, no, no, boys.
No, this kind of sorry, it's much worse.
This kind of sorry [Gunshot, blood splatters] [Chain-saw sputters] [Chain-saw sputters] [Cassidy groans] [Chain-saw sputters] [Groans] No.
You're gonna be sorry you did that.
[Breathing heavily] [Gunshots] Aah! Ohh! [Grunts] [Gunshots] [Both grunting] Aah! [Groaning] [Grunts] [Chain-saw revs] [Screams] [Screams] Ohh! Get him off! [Snarling] [Grunts] Hey! - [Grunts] - Hey! [Screams] Ohh! - [Chain-saw revs] - [Screams] [Snarls] [Grunts] Yes! Yeah! Ugh.
[Grunts] Oh.
Ohh.
- [Groans] - [Chain-saw revs] Come on, yeah, huh? All right, all right.
Oh.
[Breathing heavily] [Grunts] [Screaming] Oh! Ohh! [Chain-saw whirs] [Exhales sharply] Oh! [Chain-saw sputters, stops] [Exhaling rapidly] [Groaning] [Sighs] [Grunts] Like, I said, Padre No trouble.
[Indistinct shouting] ["Long Way Up" by Jailhouse plays] [Music continues] I've got fire and lighting flowing Through the inside of my veins I fold.
Man: Fold.
Clive? Do I get all your money or just some of it? Call.
- All of it it is.
- [Group mumbling] You know, I am this close to feeling sorry for you guys, so you'd better get it together and stop actin' like a bunch of girls.
- [Chair squeaks] - Lacey, let's go.
Clive: Let's go! Oh, ho-kay.
Clive.
Go easy tonight.
Sure, Mosie.
Tonight's gonna be a piece of cake.
[Footsteps depart] [Chair creaks] So, Priscilla-Jean.
You still staying out at Walter's place? How's he doin' these days? Next time he's not passed out drunk, I'll ask him.
[Laughs] Yeah, my uncle pukes and shits himself every day.
DT's so bad he can't button his shirt.
One time, when I was 6, got wasted so bad he drove through a parking lot into a petting zoo.
Killed two kids and a billy goat.
Just kidding.
But funny, right? [Laughs] [Cellphone rings] One sec, guys.
Hey, Dany.
Yep, I got mine.
You? Okeydoke.
See ya then.
[Phone shuts] Hey, Mos.
Mosie: Yeah? Can I borrow a room tonight? Sure, you can, darlin'.
All right, my pretties.
Where were we? [Grunts] [Breathing heavily, slurping] [Gulps] [Groaning] [Groans, exhales] [Sighs] [Groans] [Exhales] Ooh.
[Grunts] [Groans] [Grunts] Shite.
[Splat] [Chain-saw revs] Right.
[As Tony Montana] Say hello to my little friend.
[Chain-saw whirs] Right.
[Sniffs] Come on, boys.
All that's left to do now is dig a wee spot of sod, part company, and we can just call that [Hinges creak] [Sighs] [Thud] Shite.
[Birds chirping] [Sighs] Good mornin'.
[Chuckling] You right bloody bastard.
[Birds chirping] [Sighing] Your appointment you forget? [Grunts] No.
What happened? Nothin'.
Just up late talkin'.
Talkin' with who? Cassidy.
Wh-What does he even do in here? He doesn't work, he sleeps all day.
No, no, Cass is all right.
It was my fault, not his.
- What is that? - Casserole.
People like it when you show up with somethin'.
It smells like somethin' died in here.
- It's like a - [Sniffs] It's not the? Maybe I should reschedule.
No, I want to do this.
[Grunts] I want to go.
[Footprints depart, stop] Where am I going? Shoobee, doobee, doobee-doo, wop-wop Shoobee, doobee, doobee-doo, wop-wop Mrs.
Loach: Tonight's "Bachelor" finale.
Doctors say she can still hear, so we turn the TV on and watch together.
It's her favorite.
Or, at least, it was.
[Softly] Shoobee, doobee, doobee-doo, wop-wop [Sighs] Mrs.
Loach, uh [Birds chirping] [Inhales] I'm so sorry.
Thank you, Preacher.
Something like this, it it's just We're fine.
I appreciate you checkin' in.
And the casserole.
And here are your oven mitts back.
Of course you're not fine.
You're in pain.
Day-after-day pain.
Puts you to bed and sits there waitin' for you when you wake up.
Like a big screw stuck itself in your chest.
That's what it was like for me, anyway.
But someday and if I said exactly when, I'd be a liar but someday the light of the Lord will reach you.
Both of you.
And when I does, somethin' will happen.
Somethin' will change.
Thank you.
Those are lovely words.
But unfortunately, that's all they are.
Words won't open her eyes or help her ride a horse again.
They won't even help change her diapers.
No offense, that casserole you brung is worth more than all the words in the world.
At least when you're gone, I can feed it to my dogs.
[Engine rumbling] [Engine idling] [Brakes squeal] Hello.
[Engine idling] - Chrissakes.
- [Taser crackles] [Mumbles] [Sighs] [Chair creaks] [Chain rattles] [Sighs] Woman: Preacher.
Get me out of here.
Oh, come on.
You used to like our little role-playing games.
A baby seat? Got your attention, didn't I? Get me out of here right now.
Door's open.
Nothin' keep ya.
- My ankle is chained.
- Hm.
Now, that is predicamental.
Wanted to give you an update.
The map I was telling you about to buried treasure, underground missile silos, whatever you were thinking.
I wasn't thinking anything.
The map's for Dany.
Remember Dany? Client of Dany wants it.
We don't know why and we don't care, because in exchange for this map, Dany's client's gonna give us some information.
Some very interesting information indeed.
I can tell by the face you're making, you want me to ask, "What information?" But I'm not gonna.
'Cause I don't give a shit.
[Chuckles] Suit yourself.
I'm going to Houston to meet Dany for the exchange, so we'll keep it a surprise till I get back.
And I know [Deep voice] "Not doin' jobs anymore, Tulip.
I'm a soul-saving preacher now, and no means no.
" - Yes, it does.
- No, it doesn't, Jesse! Cut the crap.
I know what you did to Donnie Schenck.
Now, Donnie, that was just That was you, Jesse! And it's only a matter of time till you're you all over again.
So, here's a prediction.
[Chair creaks] I'm gonna ask you to do this job.
You're gonna say no.
But I'm doin' it without you.
So I'm gonna keep askin' over and over, - 'cause I know you, Jesse Custer.
- [Sighs] I know that deep down, you're a bad, bad man.
And sooner or later, Mr.
Bad Man's gonna come back around, and he's gonna say yes.
[Sighs] Anyway Think it over.
The key? [Chain rattles] Like a said, nothin' keeping you here.
[Door closes] [Filing, chain rattling] [Sighs] [Inhales, exhales] [Floorboard creaks] [Footsteps approach] I'm fine.
I did it to myself.
[Filing] [Inhales] [Breathes shakily] What do you want, Eugene? [Sighs deeply] It's too late, Eugene.
Just keep trying.
It's all we can do.
In the end, the change in us always comes from God.
Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
[Glass shatters] [Door knob clicks] [Woman speaking indistinctly on television] Woman #2: Well, we don't want to put the kids out.
Woman: It's no trouble.
[Indistinct speech] And you're all alone.
[Laugh track] Woman #2: I'm fine, Mama.
- [Door creaks] - Woman: Sure, you are.
[Laugh track] [Creak] [Chatter on television continues] [Man coughs] Preacher? Well, what what are you Ohh! Ohh! God! You're gonna forget her.
Wh-What? Who? [Grunts] - You know who.
- [Grunts] [Grunts] [Water running] [Coughs] This is, uh This is crazy.
You can't just w-walk into my house and then and then turn the the tub on.
[Water running continues] Look, it's it's not my fault.
I I I I'm sick, you know? I'm addicted.
That's You know, the urges don't just go away.
It Uh Okay, yeah, that's yeah, that's no excuse.
You're right.
You're right.
That I just have to, uh I have to try harder.
I'm gonna try harder.
Yeah, I know for-forget all about her.
So Look, y-you can't do this.
You can't.
I I I I everything I said to you in there, that that that's that's confidential, so that you can't That's the rules.
That's it.
My my soul was, um My sins were cleansed.
You can't do anything to me.
[Water stops, gurgles] Preacher.
Preacher.
[Breathing shakily] I I'm repenting.
Yeah.
We're gonna do it right this time.
No.
No! No! [Muffled screaming] - Forget her.
- [Gurgling] [Gasps] Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! [Muffled screaming] - Forget her.
- [Gurgling] [Gasps, sobs] I can't! [Screaming] Forget her.
[Sputters, coughs] [Breathing heavily] [Exhales] What happened? I told you to forget her.
Forget who? - The girl.
- Which one? Which one? What's going on? The one on your bus.
What girl? What are you talking about? I don't understand.
Why are you here? What did you do to my brain? What'd you do to me, Preacher? What'd you do?! [Cassidy humming] [Grunts] Oh.
Sheriff Root: It's a wild world out there.
Barrel of bonkers from Bangor, Maine, to Tampa, St.
Pete.
But, this being a small town, I make it my business to know who's who and what's what.
So, I got to ask you boys, who are you? We're from the government.
[Birds chirping] I know it's early, but I'd like to pray with her.
You think that'll be okay? I'll make a pot of coffee.
Thanks.
Tracy? It's Preacher.
If you don't mind I'd like to try somethin'.
Open your eyes.