Private Practice s05e03 Episode Script
Deal with It
He does this kind of amazing thing with his tongue.
I mean, I am, you know, a woman in my 40s.
I have had my share of sex.
I've had some Pretty spectacular You know.
I've had sex, okay? But Sam is this, like I don't know.
Maybe it's because I'm in love with him.
No, I don't think it's because I'm in love with him.
You know, I was in love with Derek.
I was In love with Mark, I think, even for a little while.
well, I No, I think Need you It's because Sam's Better than me.
He's a better person I need you A genuinely good person.
To hold me, to tell me You don't think you're a good person? Or maybe it's just that thing he does with his tongue.
Ain't no party in a sad sad city I woke up with a hangover this morning.
Ain't no party in a sad sad city Again.
And I'm just I'm over it.
This has to be it.
I don't know why I was able to put together almost a decade sober, and now I can't seem to make it past about 30 days.
This program gave me a life, and now I have a lot to lose, and, uh So I'm not drinking today.
Whew.
I can't believe it is day one again.
I need you I'm humiliated.
To want me, to hold me to tell me the truth, yeah I'm humiliated that it's day one again.
Um Ain't no party in a sad sad city But, you know, it's one day at a time, and, uh And I'm not gonna take a drink today.
Thanks.
Sorry that I didn't get a chance to review your case with Dr.
Reilly before the consult.
He has been so amazing.
He's really made me believe that having a child is possible, despite what the other doctors said.
Nina's been chasing that miracle since her mother died last year.
Well, let's take a look.
Okay.
Oh.
It says here you were born without a uterus? Yeah.
I have Mayer-Rokitansky- Kuster-Hauser syndrome.
It's a mouthful, right? But her ovaries are functional.
That's the important part.
Right, but you understand-- I mean, Dr.
Reilly explained to you that you can't get pregnant? You have to have a uterus to carry a child.
I know.
That's why Gammy is giving me hers.
Mm-hmm.
He's been waking up a lot at night, and, uh, he's a little fussier than usual.
Mm-hmm.
Any fever or runny nose? No.
But he was pulling his ear.
What if he perfored his eardrum? He could go deaf.
His eardrums are fine, and he is fine.
And You are I Well, I, um I may be going a teensy bit crazy from all the mommy-ness.
But it's a good crazy, 'cause I have never had the chance really, you know, to be at home All the time Alone With my 2-year-old son.
So it's a good crazy.
And, uh, you know, then there's Pete, my husband had a heart attack.
Mm.
I mean, listen to that sentence, Coop.
My husband had a heart attack.
My handsome, studly, virile husband You know what I think I need? I think I need a little perspective.
You know, from people who are doing what I'm doing-- Mommies.
Do you know any cool mommies with groups, mommy groups? Okay, first of all stop saying "mommy.
" And second of all, are you sure that that's what you want-- Yes, yes.
I think it would be interesting and fun and, uh, come on, Cooper Tell me where the cool mommies are.
I haven't been able to sleep since my heart attack.
I've tried everything-- Meditation, self-hypnosis-- Did you call any of the therapists I recommended? Now why would I waste my time talking to a total stranger? - I know you.
I trust you.
- Yes, well, I'm flattered-- - You're free.
- Ah ha ha.
Pete Look, do you know that a third of all quadruple bypass patients are dead within ten years? Well, those kind of numbers would keep most people awake.
Look, it's normal to feel scared.
I'm not scared.
I'm pissed.
I did everything right.
I never smoked, I exercise, I cut way back on red meat and dairy, decaf.
And now I eat broccoli.
I hate broccoli.
How's Violet handling all this? Oh, she's terrified.
You can see it in her eyes.
She thinks I'm gonna drop dead any minute.
Yeah, well, your heart attack was traumatic for her, too.
She'll relax when she's convinced that the family's no longer in crisis.
When will that be? When you find another therapist.
Hey, can I get some of that? Really? I've apologized, like, a thousand times.
I am truly, deeply, incredibly sorry, Charlotte.
What's going on now? I I did a thing.
A stupid thing.
Yes, a stupid thing That ended up saving a young girl's life.
Okay? And that is the very last time I'll defend myself, but come on, Charlotte, you can't stay mad at me forever.
You broke into my computer and stole confidential information.
Don't bet on it.
Late night? Chief of staff and curfew police-- You're a busy woman.
Good morning.
Or not.
Don't mind her.
We're all really happy that you're here.
You promised a patient a uterine transplant? What the hell were you thinking? Nice welcome wagon you got there.
It can't be done.
I did some work at the Mayo clinic on the procedural viability of uterine organ transplant, - and it can be done.
- On animals.
It has been done on a human, just not with any long-term success.
Well, somebody has to be the first, right? - Sam.
- Thank you, Sam.
There is always a first, and Nina's a perfect candidate.
She's young, she's healthy-- She is grieving.
Her mother just died.
She's not thinking clearly.
Look, I'm in no position to judge her motives, all right? Where would she get the uterus? Oh, from her Gammy.
Yeah.
Her 66-year-old grandmother.
Who's probably not using it.
Look, it puts both women through an unnecessary and risky surgery.
Even if she survives, Nina would be on anti-rejection meds for months before you can do an embryo transfer and even then, her body can reject the uterus, endangering her and the fetus.
What about the obvious solution, you skip the surgery and adopt? - Or you use a surrogate.
- That's not what Nina wants.
She wants to give birth to her baby like her mother did her.
It's not my place to judge that.
It's my place to make it happen if I can, and I think I can.
If this works, we can make huge advances in the science of fertility.
The patient's aware of the risks, she has a donor lined up.
I'll take the shot.
I think it's worth a shot.
Now you want to stand in her way, or do you want to help her make a baby and help make history in the process? You increased your dosage without talking to me? Well, I wasn't thinking about you so much as I was thinking about Eva.
Eva? She's one of my kindergartners.
She's 5 years old.
Things aren't so great at home so I spend extra time with her and I was having a real impact until Mm.
It's hard to explain Parkinson's to a 5 year old.
My hand started tremoring, and she was fine with that, but then the But then the jerking started, and then I froze in front of her.
And that was so scary for her.
It was just awful.
So, yes, I increased my dosage.
But it seems to really be working because, you know, the symptoms decreased.
Okay, but high doses of your meds have been known to cause pretty serious side effects.
They affect the limbic system, which is the area of the brain that deals with impulse control.
Have you had any impulsive or compulsive behaviors-- Gambling, risk taking, anything out of the ordinary? Um My husband is having a checkup with Sam.
He's probably almost done, right? Your cortisol levels are way up.
You're stressed.
My 40-year-old wife has Parkinson's disease.
That's a little stressful.
Yeah, I know.
And you're doing a great job of taking care of her.
Now you gotta take better care of yourself.
You exercising? Yeah, I-I definitely keep thinking about it.
Huh.
Sam, what is it? Uh, I'm sorry, Will.
I got some bad news.
Laura, whatever symptoms you're having, I can help.
But I need to know-- Are you having side effects, compulsive behavior? Sam says I have gonorrhea.
I haven't had sex with anyone but you, Laura.
Can you say the same? Yes, Dr.
Shepherd, I've been having side effects.
It started with a single dad of one of the kids in my class.
He came in for a parent-teacher conference And he's Oh, he's very handsome, and I noticed that he was looking at my chest while I was talking, and the next thing I know, my hand is on his pants.
And then my hand is in his pants, and then we're doing it in the supply closet in my classroom on top of the chalk and the magic markers.
- Wow.
- Yeah, so I-I mean, it just It was that one time, and I swore, it will never happen again.
Okay.
Good.
That's good, because we can contact him and we can have him treated for-- And then it happened again with the janitor in his supply closet, and then with the man who came to fix my dripping faucet.
Your dripping faucet? - The plumber.
- Got that.
And I just-- Do you think that's where the gonorrhea It's hard to say.
This-- This is crazy.
This is not me.
I am married to a wonderful, wonderful man and I can't lose him, and, God, I never wanted to hurt him, but I can't live with the tremors and I can't stop grabbing men's-- Got it.
Got it.
Okay.
Let's start with an STD panel and an HIV test, and then we'll Take it from there.
Okay.
She didn't literally say "the plumber"? He fixed her leaky faucet.
You think it's funny that your patient has destroyed a loving, long-term marriage with frequent and recurrent infidelity? It's actually really sad, and I'm hoping that her husband understands that the drugs changed her brain chemistry, which changed her behavior.
I mean, he can't hold it against her.
Hold it against her.
Oh, stop it, both of you.
So we're saying, infidelity gets excused when drugs are involved? - In this case, yes.
- Come on.
Isn't that a little like saying you can't blame a drunk driver after she totals another car? A drunk driver chooses to get wasted.
Laura did not choose Parkinson's.
So Will can't blame her for side effects beyond her control.
That doesn't change the fact that she was out there fooling around with other men, and-- And you're asking him to suck it up.
Suck it up.
Will is devoted to Laura.
And I think I can save the marriage.
How? Deep brain stimulation.
Oh, why do you always want to do DBS? For real, again? Because it works.
It works.
I stimulate the brain, the Parkinson's symptoms decrease, and the pornography is relegated to Laura and Will's television set.
DBS is my magic wand.
I just kinda handed you that one.
Hey.
You want to grab some lunch? Mm.
I can't.
Then do you want to Mess around? Mm.
Yes.
But I have an appointment.
That you can't cancel? That I shouldn't cancel.
I'm Mm.
Mm.
I'm interviewing a couple of IVF specialists.
Huh.
Sam, I didn't mean to-- - No, no, that's fine.
- No, I didn't mean-- - any other time-- - Oh - Any other time, I would.
- That's fi-- I get it.
I-I didn't-- I didn't have a A condom on me anyway, so Sam, this is weird.
No, it's fine.
You-- You do what you have to do.
And it's It's fine.
Really.
Yeah? Mm-hmm.
Actually, I'm You know, I'm excited about it.
I I mean, I know I don't talk to you about it much, - but I could if you want.
- No, no.
You don't have to.
Are you sure? Yes, I'm happy for you.
I am happy for you.
But this is your thing And I-- Oh, sorry.
Am I, uh, interrupting? No.
Well, hey, that's a whole lot of uterine transplant research for someone who thinks it's a crazy procedure.
I am intellectually curious, but my opinion hasn't changed.
Well, that's a shame in this case.
I mean, the guys on the transplant team, they're fine for the job, but I'd prefer you.
Listen, Nina's checking in to the hospital tomorrow.
Go talk to her.
If you're still not interested, I'll leave you alone.
Promise? You hungry? Yeah.
Bonjour.
Violet, this is Annette.
She's Daisy's mom.
And this is Lynn.
Little Truman is hers.
And that handsome boy is my Leo.
What are you drinking, red or white? Don't mind Lynn.
She just stopped breast-feeding, and so she's making up for lost time.
Truman turned 3 and lost interest.
But we're still sharing a bed, so the bonding isn't interrupted.
Oh, you don't find that-- Uh, I mean, a family bed, it's great for bonding, but it can be a little tricky to, uh-- For what, a sex life? Yeah, honestly, that's not really on my list of priorities anymore.
So tell us about you.
Oh, I'm a-- I'm a psychiatrist And-- And a writer.
Oh, yeah, we all read your book.
Loved it.
- Yes.
- Oh, thank you.
Thank you, yes.
It was actually kind of painful to get it all out, and, uh, plus, I was practicing full-time.
So-- Did you write it to help with the preschool apps? Genius.
No, I-- Preschool? Lucas is only 2.
I'm sure that's fine, too.
Did Leo make up with his cousin? Yeah.
The bite barely broke skin.
L-Leo bit his cousin? It's just a phase.
Actually, not when he's-- How old is he, 5? Mm-hmm.
Most kids outgrow that by the time they're 3, so when they're Leo's age, that can be a-- A way of getting attention or dealing with stress.
Has he experienced any trauma lately? We should get some snacks for the kids.
I can help.
Oh, no, that's fine.
Uh, why don't you just wait here? Wow.
He comes with a stocked bar.
We definitely made the right hire.
I think your office is bigger than mine.
Not that I'd want to put in a bar.
Gents, thanks for taking me on.
And thank you.
Wow.
His office is bigger than yours.
And he's got a bar.
Sometimes, a woman needs a drink when you tell her she's infertile.
I know that's a little unorthodox, - but, uh-- - No, no, we're actually-- We're pretty relaxed around here When Pete's not dealing with his heart attack by yelling at people And Violet's not frustrated that she's still suspended And Charlotte's actually speaking to me.
- Yeah.
- What'd you do? Why assume it's my fault? - 'Cause it usually is.
- Okay, Jake doesn't know that.
- Did you apologize yet? - Repeatedly.
- Did you mean it? - Of course.
- Well, it might be time for flowers - Or dinner.
You guys know I'm married to Charlotte, right? Charlotte king? You know, apologies make sense to men.
Find the problem, fix it, right? That's kinda how we're built.
But, uh for women, the words don't really mean anything unless they understand that you get where their heads are at.
I mean, relationships are philosophy to them, not science.
You just gotta get Where Charlotte's coming from.
Oh.
Mm-hmm.
It's how I make my living.
I'm in the business of knowing women.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Kinda makes you sound like a pimp, though.
Yeah.
- It does.
- Yeah, a little bit.
Hi.
Hey.
Sorry that took so long.
I had to stop at the toy store to get some puzzles for Lucas and then I got stuck on a phone call.
I'm trying to get into a private mommy-and-me class that has a waiting list.
Where's Lucas? I put him to bed.
According to Sam, I'm a fully functional adult.
Fully functional? He said-- I'm cleared for physical activity.
All physical activity? Mm-hmm.
Thank you, God.
I had a gon' give gal she's years 2-oh and 3 she told me to take off my shoes she said, "you never really have to leave" Ooh.
Ahh.
Who are you and what have you done with my husband? I had a 10-minute girl now and ever since I had a 10-minute girl it's been easy and fun I understand where you're coming from.
I get it.
I get you.
You know, it's a, uh, it's a science, not a philosophy.
I mean, it's a philosophy, not a science, our relationship, and I just I hear you.
And I understand.
And I am sorry for everything.
What exactly is it that you understand? I have no idea.
Which is why you're still sleeping on the couch.
Yeah.
Are you really ready to just give up on 20 years of marriage without exploring every other option? Laura loves you.
That hasn't changed.
Now the medication made her-- She had sex with strangers.
Do you think the medication made her lie to me, too? Do you think it made her betray every single thing I thought we were about? I don't know.
I don't know how it affected her brain chemistry.
I don't know what was medication and what was choice.
But I think What I'm trying to say is that illness changes people, on the inside and on the out.
That's why the marriage vows say "in sickness and in health.
" Now I'm not saying it's gonna be easy.
What I'm saying is that you should hear Dr.
Shepherd out.
Hi.
Can I come in? Hi.
Yeah, I was just about to go buy some flowers.
I'm not gonna be any great shakes after surgery, so I want to make sure that Nina has something nice to look at.
See you later.
Okay.
Any time I got sick as a kid, my mom cleaned my room and brought me flowers.
I didn't realize that Gammy had done the same for her.
It's a pretty amazing thing she's gonna do for you.
You think I'm crazy.
No.
No, I don't.
But this is It's dangerous.
It is an experimental procedure.
You're risking hemorrhaging, organ rejection, and this is before you even get to implantation.
I know the risks.
Dr.
Reilly laid them all out for me, twice.
When I was younger, my mom worried all the time.
"Call me when you get there.
Who are you going with? What time will you be home?" I just thought she was insane.
And every time, she said to me, "when you're a mother, you'll understand.
" I want to be so close to someone that I know them from the moment they start growing inside of me.
I want a baby My baby To love and protect and teach.
So when I read about Dr.
Reilly's research-- It's not a guarantee that it will work.
But there are no guarantees in life.
But if something is worth having, you've gotta give it a try, right? Because if this works, someday when my kid is driving me insane with worry I'll finally understand.
So? Let's take the shot.
I'll implant an electrode where the nerve signals are generating your tremors.
I'm gonna be awake for this? Won't that hurt? Well, the brain has no pain fibers so all you'll feel is a pinch and a little vibration.
The electrode will connect to a wire that I will feed under the skin of your head, neck, and shoulder.
And then I'll place a neurostimulator under your collarbone, which will send electrical impulses to block the tremor signals.
With-- With all the poking around in my brain, I mean, you could damage another part.
What if-- What if I go blind? Oh, there's no chance of blindness.
It's a very targeted procedure.
I know this is a lot to take in, but Dr.
Shepherd is a very gifted neurosurgeon.
This could be good, Laura.
It could Get us back on track.
Yeah, but it's all Really terrifying.
More terrifying than life without me? Look, I don't mean to-- I'm scared, too, but you need this.
We need this.
I need to be able to trust you again.
Please.
Have the surgery.
I could've been screwing anyone.
I mean, I'm with my wife, and for all I felt, I could've been screwing a prostitute.
It was like I was watching the whole thing.
And-- And I felt Nothing, no connection.
Sometimes sex is just sex.
Yeah, well, for Violet and me, sex is pretty much always about connecting.
I mean, last night was Intense, but I-I don't know, it was different.
Is there any other time when you felt that kind of disconnect from your life? Maybe in foster care when I was getting the crap kicked out of me.
Did that happen a lot? Yeah.
When I was 13, I was put in this foster home.
They'd already taken in three other boys, and after the foster parents went to sleep, the boys would take me to the garage and just beat on me until they got bored or I was unconscious.
How did that situation resolve itself? Eventually, I fought back.
Broke the biggest kid's nose, and they left me alone.
And that disconnection, do you think it was some kind of a coping mechanism? To deal with my anger? Sheldon, I wasn't angry that Violet wanted to have sex with me.
Are you sure? All right, come on, Lukey.
You don't want to try the creamed spinach? It's organic and filled with antioxidants.
Come on.
Don't you want to learn to read before Truman? Don't want it.
You don't like it.
Could I have some of mine? Yeah, yeah.
All right.
Okay.
I'm just trying to do what's best for you - and for daddy.
- Yes.
He seems good, doesn't he? Mm-hmm.
Yeah, which is weird because he was so angry and distant, but then strangely hot.
Although, detached and Yeah, this is a completely inappropriate conversation to be having with my son, which I'm only having because the other mommies wouldn't talk to me.
Okay, you clearly don't want to eat, so you know what? There is no reason we can't both learn to speak a new language.
All right? El niño.
That means boy.
Boy.
That's you.
Would you say el niño? Right.
La madre.
Madre.
Mama.
That's me.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's me.
And loco.
Loco? That means crazy.
That's how la madre feels.
Jake left you a bottle, too.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's cool.
I like him.
Yeah.
You want me to take it for you? Whoa.
That is a $100 bottle of Pinot, Sheldon.
Hands off.
I'll-- I'll keep it for guests.
Even sober people have dinner parties.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Am I interrupting? Not at all, not at all.
I was just leaving.
Laura, are you okay? No.
I-I don't Yes and no.
I don't Um I-I'm not gonna have the surgery.
Uh I get it.
It's really scary The idea of someone cutting into your brain.
Oh, no.
It's not that.
I mean, blah, but It's, uh, I don't Want to give up my meds.
Uh I don't understand.
I like my meds.
I love my meds.
I'm sorry.
I don't mean to be dense here, but we're not talking about opiates.
I mean, your meds aren't addictive.
It's not addictive that, for the first time in my life, I don't care what other people think about me? For the first time in my life, I'm completely uninhibited.
Yesterday in the grocery store, I walked up to a man, and five minutes later-- Five-- We were doing it in the back room where they store the produce.
That is addictive.
I mean, would you look at me? I'm a-- I'm a kindergarten teacher.
I haven't bothered to wax anything in ten years because who cares? And suddenly Suddenly, I feel sexy.
I feel alive.
Oh, God.
I feel just connected to my body in ways that I forgot existed.
Everything's changed.
I can't give it up.
I-I don't want to go back.
Your husband-- No, I-I will use condoms.
I mean, no matter what, from now on.
I will keep Will safe.
I will.
I will.
But you have to tell him that the surgery's not an option.
Tell him that it won't work for me.
Please.
Please.
Laura You know you sound a little crazy, right? There is a certain high from the lack of inhibitions.
I get that.
I really do.
But how much are you willing to give up to hold on to that high? Dr.
Shepherd, I have Parkinson's.
I'm dying.
I'm not quite 40 so I don't actually have all that much else left to lose.
Lunch and Hi.
Hey.
Wow.
Violet.
That's a radical change.
You look fantastic.
- Oh, yeah.
Whatever.
- Hi, baby.
I was bored.
I am bored.
Do you want to have lunch with us? Uh All right.
Okay.
Lucas, auntie Addison is very, very hungry so I'm gonna go eat lunch with your mommy while you go and play with the pink whales in the sand.
Wanna go play? Hey, buddy.
All right.
Good guy.
Yeah, go water 'em.
Are you Are you hiding? I-I thought it was a woman from my mommy group.
You're in a mommy group? I went once.
Hated them all.
Mm.
That's a lie.
They didn't like me.
They're not even returning my e-mails.
Oh.
So I chopped off my hair.
I see.
You're very polite.
Well, I don't know what to say.
I mean You and I, we work together, but it's not like we've ever been friends.
Well, you used to sleep with my husband.
- You used to take care of my son.
- Okay, okay.
I thought of anybody, you would to, you know - All right, I think you're being ridiculous.
- Cut the crap and be-- Oh, wow.
No.
I mean, of course you don't like any of the mommies in the mommy group.
You have nothing in common with these women other than the fact that you all have children.
I mean, it would be like me Being friends with every infertile woman in town just because we can't have kids.
Yes.
Yes, yes.
God.
I feel better.
Good.
You know, I mean, here I am, trying to have a baby, you know, without Sam.
And that's weird, of course.
Obviously-- We were talking about me still.
We weren't done.
Right.
Sorry.
I'm just I'm just really lonely, Addison.
I am not a mommy-group mommy, and I'm not allowed to work, and my husband had a heart attack.
That's a scary sentence.
Thank you.
Do you want to be friends? I mean, is that what this lunch is Do you? I like your haircut.
I I think it's great that you want to have a kid on your own.
Yeah? I'm lonely, too, you know? Without Nai, I'm really lonely.
So We'll be friends.
We'll be friends.
Hey.
Hey, Sam.
Hey, how's your relationship going? Mine's great.
You should really think about Getting married.
Mm.
Hey.
Did you schedule Laura's surgery yet? She canceled it.
She is not interested in changing her behavior.
She wants to sleep around.
She even asked me to tell her husband that surgery is not an option.
Well, you can't lie to the man.
I am well aware of that, Charlotte, which is why I'm saying nothing at all.
So what, Laura just gets a free pass to cheat on her husband? How she chooses to live her life, that's her own business.
She's in a relationship.
No, that's-- That's not right.
Once you betray your partner's trust, it's hard to get it back.
Wow.
You're a bitch to me and to Cooper.
Who knew you had such range? Now that is a beautiful uterus.
Nicely done.
Thank you.
What do you think about Joanie Matthews? Uh, she's a bit of a-- An IVF mad scientist.
Brilliant.
Why? I'm just looking around.
Dave Atkins? Oh, he's real old-school-- Warm, great bedside manner.
I think you should meet with 'em both.
In fact, why don't you send me a list of who you're looking at? - I'll vet 'em for you.
- Thank you.
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, I am going to release the kelly.
There we go.
Damn it.
Okay.
The internal iliac's retracted.
I need to stop the bleeding.
We're gonna have to clamp the vascular supply proximally.
There's too much blood.
I need you to clear the field.
Damn it.
Okay it's retracted too far.
I need to embolize the vessel.
Cross her for six units and hang the FFP.
If you embolize the main vessel, it's gonna cut off supply - to the transplant.
- If I don't, I'll lose Nina.
Come on, Nina.
Hang in there.
Hang in there now.
You fought one hell of a fight in there, cowboy.
Lost, though.
Look, you tried, which is more than most doctors would've done.
It's more than I would've done.
You saved her life.
That's a win.
Not for me, it isn't.
There.
Yeah, silly pooh.
Hey.
Um, hey, before you go, I was thinking, I want to give the nanny a few more hours.
I want to start another book.
I think it'd be good for me.
Lucas is already gonna need therapy when he's old enough to read the first one.
Come on, Pete.
You're in the office every day.
You get to use your-- Your training, your intellect-- Every part of you is engaged.
And, uh, I want that, too.
I need it.
I can't believe it.
Already bored with motherhood.
You don't think that raising our child is important work.
Of-- Of-- Of course it is.
But I don't see why I have to do it to the exclusion of everything else.
And I think it's important that Lucas sees a woman who can work and be well-rounded and-- A 2 year old doesn't want well-rounded.
A 2 year old wants his mother.
So long, pal.
Bye.
Honey, it's not like I've been an at-home mother for the past two years.
Why is it such a shock that I would want to work and raise my child? What the hell is going on with you? I'm late for work.
I'm sorry, Nina.
I'm so sorry.
But we knew this was a long shot, right? We knew that, but we tried anyway because that was important to you.
You're young, you have the support of your family, and you will be a mother.
We can explore surrogacy now or you can adopt.
But I wanted to be like my mom.
I know.
And if your mom were here right now, she would tell you that it wasn't giving birth to you that defined her.
It was the first time you looked in her eyes and smiled.
It was the first time you fell asleep on her shoulder And she'd barely let herself breathe because she never wanted that moment to end.
You will have your baby However she comes into the world, and you will love her incredibly well because your mom taught you how.
And that's all that matters.
Okay? That's all that matters.
Hi.
Hey.
Thanks for, uh Thanks for meeting me here.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, is there a reason we couldn't meet at the office? Well, I was just hoping to, uh I guess speak to you as a friend rather than a-a doctor.
Um Okay.
I-I don't understand why or how you could do this to Will.
Well, that's because you and I aren't friends.
Fair enough.
Uh Well, what about That's gotta mean something.
With these meds, I don't have a really great editing mechanism anymore Okay.
So I'm just gonna say some things.
Uh My husband won't have sex outside of the missionary position.
And if he finishes before I do, he rolls over and he goes to sleep.
Early on in our marriage, when he caught me trying to finish after he was done, he called me disgusting.
Disgusting.
So he has some issues.
Uh, in this particular area, he has issues.
- And his issues have become my issues - Mm-hmm.
- Because that's what happens in a marriage.
- That's right.
And he has no interest in dealing with those issues.
And for the first time, I understand that, because I have no interest in dealing with mine.
I mean, we make a great team.
On so many levels, we're We're a great team.
So don't judge me.
Please.
You're not inside my marriage.
And you can't be inside anybody else's marriage, either.
Y-you have to know that.
Appearances They mean nothing, clearly.
Look at me.
She leaves us every chance she gets for these rooms full of strangers, who are desperate to tell her what a difference she made in their lives.
Violet decided to go on the book tour, huh? - She wants to write another book.
- Well, that's not the same thing.
Well, it feels the same.
Don't be such a baby.
Excuse me? You want the benefit of my expertise, as a friend, without paying? Well, with that comes the truth.
What are you afraid of, Pete? Sheldon, I worked in Bosnia in a war zone, I'm in the chaos of the ER every day.
I'm not a guy that gets scared.
I told you.
I'm angry.
I know what you told me, but a 14-year-old boy who's dumped with foster families isn't just angry.
And the disconnect you feel, that's not about anger.
So what are you afraid of? Hey.
Uh, I think you were right.
One of my favorite sentences in the world.
Right about what? About Laura.
I talked to her, and, uh, I guess it is her business, you know, what she's doing and what she tells Will.
It's not easy, but sometimes the truth is worse.
Yeah.
So I guess she'll have her high, he won't know, and hopefully It'll be better that way.
I'm drowning here, Charlotte.
And I obviously don't know what to do to save myself, and every time I try to say anything, it's like tying another cinder block to my ankle.
So If you just tell me what to do I will do it, whatever it is, happily.
Seriously, come on.
Tell-- Tell me.
Come on.
Tell me.
- Tell me.
- Stop it.
- Ch-- - You made me be the sheriff with you.
It sucks being the sheriff, and I'm good at it.
Everybody already thinks I'm the wicked witch of St.
Ambrose.
Everyone who? Everyone Amelia? Look, I don't care.
It's fine.
It's my job.
And the job isn't about making friends, but you're my husband.
Don't make me be the sheriff with you, too.
Look I don't regret Saving Kerri.
I don't.
But I do regret not having your back.
I will never put you in that position again, and I will not make you be the sheriff.
We should be able to tell each other anything, right? That sounds like the prelude to something bad.
No, no.
No, it's not bad.
- Sam.
- I-- If you have something to tell me No.
No, no, no.
It's not me.
It's you.
It's yesterday.
You wanted to talk to me about the IVF stuff, and I, uh, I cut you off.
And I'm sorry.
It's okay.
No, it's not okay.
We're together and, you know, we shouldn't have secrets or, you know, things that we're thinking about that we can't say.
Agreed.
Okay, good.
So tell me Tell me about the IVF, the doctors.
Is there anybody that you like? Um-- Sam.
Uh-oh.
Mm.
Thank you.
But really, I'm fine.
Okay.
on the other side all I want is gone on the other side I hope all is bright I'm afraid you think I'm a bad mother and that you don't love me enough.
I'm afraid I'll die before I'm done raising Lucas.
Oh oh oh I renamed the practice.
Did I tell you? Seaside Health and Wellness.
I thought about calling it Montgomery Wellness.
Bizzy would've told me to do that.
I mean, it is all of my money funding the place now.
But I didn't do it.
It is a cooperative practice, and the name reflects that.
A few years ago, I mean You would've gone with Montgomery? Yeah.
I would have.
So You know, no matter what, whatever happens, Sam has rubbed off on me.
His goodness, his Kindness, his honesty, his generosity of spirit Has rubbed off.
Oh, oh I do.
Oh See you at lunch.
Oh Cooper? Yes.
You don't remember me, do you? No.
I'm sorry.
Have we met? Nine years ago.
I was tending bar at the Key Club.
You came in, stayed till last call, we had sex in my SUV in the parking lot.
Erica.
Hi, Erica.
Yeah, hi.
Awkward.
Yeah, uh I'm married now.
I have a son.
He's 8.
Mm-hmm.
His name is Mason.
And he's And this is This is really not what I Anyway He's-- Well He's yours.
Oh oh oh
I mean, I am, you know, a woman in my 40s.
I have had my share of sex.
I've had some Pretty spectacular You know.
I've had sex, okay? But Sam is this, like I don't know.
Maybe it's because I'm in love with him.
No, I don't think it's because I'm in love with him.
You know, I was in love with Derek.
I was In love with Mark, I think, even for a little while.
well, I No, I think Need you It's because Sam's Better than me.
He's a better person I need you A genuinely good person.
To hold me, to tell me You don't think you're a good person? Or maybe it's just that thing he does with his tongue.
Ain't no party in a sad sad city I woke up with a hangover this morning.
Ain't no party in a sad sad city Again.
And I'm just I'm over it.
This has to be it.
I don't know why I was able to put together almost a decade sober, and now I can't seem to make it past about 30 days.
This program gave me a life, and now I have a lot to lose, and, uh So I'm not drinking today.
Whew.
I can't believe it is day one again.
I need you I'm humiliated.
To want me, to hold me to tell me the truth, yeah I'm humiliated that it's day one again.
Um Ain't no party in a sad sad city But, you know, it's one day at a time, and, uh And I'm not gonna take a drink today.
Thanks.
Sorry that I didn't get a chance to review your case with Dr.
Reilly before the consult.
He has been so amazing.
He's really made me believe that having a child is possible, despite what the other doctors said.
Nina's been chasing that miracle since her mother died last year.
Well, let's take a look.
Okay.
Oh.
It says here you were born without a uterus? Yeah.
I have Mayer-Rokitansky- Kuster-Hauser syndrome.
It's a mouthful, right? But her ovaries are functional.
That's the important part.
Right, but you understand-- I mean, Dr.
Reilly explained to you that you can't get pregnant? You have to have a uterus to carry a child.
I know.
That's why Gammy is giving me hers.
Mm-hmm.
He's been waking up a lot at night, and, uh, he's a little fussier than usual.
Mm-hmm.
Any fever or runny nose? No.
But he was pulling his ear.
What if he perfored his eardrum? He could go deaf.
His eardrums are fine, and he is fine.
And You are I Well, I, um I may be going a teensy bit crazy from all the mommy-ness.
But it's a good crazy, 'cause I have never had the chance really, you know, to be at home All the time Alone With my 2-year-old son.
So it's a good crazy.
And, uh, you know, then there's Pete, my husband had a heart attack.
Mm.
I mean, listen to that sentence, Coop.
My husband had a heart attack.
My handsome, studly, virile husband You know what I think I need? I think I need a little perspective.
You know, from people who are doing what I'm doing-- Mommies.
Do you know any cool mommies with groups, mommy groups? Okay, first of all stop saying "mommy.
" And second of all, are you sure that that's what you want-- Yes, yes.
I think it would be interesting and fun and, uh, come on, Cooper Tell me where the cool mommies are.
I haven't been able to sleep since my heart attack.
I've tried everything-- Meditation, self-hypnosis-- Did you call any of the therapists I recommended? Now why would I waste my time talking to a total stranger? - I know you.
I trust you.
- Yes, well, I'm flattered-- - You're free.
- Ah ha ha.
Pete Look, do you know that a third of all quadruple bypass patients are dead within ten years? Well, those kind of numbers would keep most people awake.
Look, it's normal to feel scared.
I'm not scared.
I'm pissed.
I did everything right.
I never smoked, I exercise, I cut way back on red meat and dairy, decaf.
And now I eat broccoli.
I hate broccoli.
How's Violet handling all this? Oh, she's terrified.
You can see it in her eyes.
She thinks I'm gonna drop dead any minute.
Yeah, well, your heart attack was traumatic for her, too.
She'll relax when she's convinced that the family's no longer in crisis.
When will that be? When you find another therapist.
Hey, can I get some of that? Really? I've apologized, like, a thousand times.
I am truly, deeply, incredibly sorry, Charlotte.
What's going on now? I I did a thing.
A stupid thing.
Yes, a stupid thing That ended up saving a young girl's life.
Okay? And that is the very last time I'll defend myself, but come on, Charlotte, you can't stay mad at me forever.
You broke into my computer and stole confidential information.
Don't bet on it.
Late night? Chief of staff and curfew police-- You're a busy woman.
Good morning.
Or not.
Don't mind her.
We're all really happy that you're here.
You promised a patient a uterine transplant? What the hell were you thinking? Nice welcome wagon you got there.
It can't be done.
I did some work at the Mayo clinic on the procedural viability of uterine organ transplant, - and it can be done.
- On animals.
It has been done on a human, just not with any long-term success.
Well, somebody has to be the first, right? - Sam.
- Thank you, Sam.
There is always a first, and Nina's a perfect candidate.
She's young, she's healthy-- She is grieving.
Her mother just died.
She's not thinking clearly.
Look, I'm in no position to judge her motives, all right? Where would she get the uterus? Oh, from her Gammy.
Yeah.
Her 66-year-old grandmother.
Who's probably not using it.
Look, it puts both women through an unnecessary and risky surgery.
Even if she survives, Nina would be on anti-rejection meds for months before you can do an embryo transfer and even then, her body can reject the uterus, endangering her and the fetus.
What about the obvious solution, you skip the surgery and adopt? - Or you use a surrogate.
- That's not what Nina wants.
She wants to give birth to her baby like her mother did her.
It's not my place to judge that.
It's my place to make it happen if I can, and I think I can.
If this works, we can make huge advances in the science of fertility.
The patient's aware of the risks, she has a donor lined up.
I'll take the shot.
I think it's worth a shot.
Now you want to stand in her way, or do you want to help her make a baby and help make history in the process? You increased your dosage without talking to me? Well, I wasn't thinking about you so much as I was thinking about Eva.
Eva? She's one of my kindergartners.
She's 5 years old.
Things aren't so great at home so I spend extra time with her and I was having a real impact until Mm.
It's hard to explain Parkinson's to a 5 year old.
My hand started tremoring, and she was fine with that, but then the But then the jerking started, and then I froze in front of her.
And that was so scary for her.
It was just awful.
So, yes, I increased my dosage.
But it seems to really be working because, you know, the symptoms decreased.
Okay, but high doses of your meds have been known to cause pretty serious side effects.
They affect the limbic system, which is the area of the brain that deals with impulse control.
Have you had any impulsive or compulsive behaviors-- Gambling, risk taking, anything out of the ordinary? Um My husband is having a checkup with Sam.
He's probably almost done, right? Your cortisol levels are way up.
You're stressed.
My 40-year-old wife has Parkinson's disease.
That's a little stressful.
Yeah, I know.
And you're doing a great job of taking care of her.
Now you gotta take better care of yourself.
You exercising? Yeah, I-I definitely keep thinking about it.
Huh.
Sam, what is it? Uh, I'm sorry, Will.
I got some bad news.
Laura, whatever symptoms you're having, I can help.
But I need to know-- Are you having side effects, compulsive behavior? Sam says I have gonorrhea.
I haven't had sex with anyone but you, Laura.
Can you say the same? Yes, Dr.
Shepherd, I've been having side effects.
It started with a single dad of one of the kids in my class.
He came in for a parent-teacher conference And he's Oh, he's very handsome, and I noticed that he was looking at my chest while I was talking, and the next thing I know, my hand is on his pants.
And then my hand is in his pants, and then we're doing it in the supply closet in my classroom on top of the chalk and the magic markers.
- Wow.
- Yeah, so I-I mean, it just It was that one time, and I swore, it will never happen again.
Okay.
Good.
That's good, because we can contact him and we can have him treated for-- And then it happened again with the janitor in his supply closet, and then with the man who came to fix my dripping faucet.
Your dripping faucet? - The plumber.
- Got that.
And I just-- Do you think that's where the gonorrhea It's hard to say.
This-- This is crazy.
This is not me.
I am married to a wonderful, wonderful man and I can't lose him, and, God, I never wanted to hurt him, but I can't live with the tremors and I can't stop grabbing men's-- Got it.
Got it.
Okay.
Let's start with an STD panel and an HIV test, and then we'll Take it from there.
Okay.
She didn't literally say "the plumber"? He fixed her leaky faucet.
You think it's funny that your patient has destroyed a loving, long-term marriage with frequent and recurrent infidelity? It's actually really sad, and I'm hoping that her husband understands that the drugs changed her brain chemistry, which changed her behavior.
I mean, he can't hold it against her.
Hold it against her.
Oh, stop it, both of you.
So we're saying, infidelity gets excused when drugs are involved? - In this case, yes.
- Come on.
Isn't that a little like saying you can't blame a drunk driver after she totals another car? A drunk driver chooses to get wasted.
Laura did not choose Parkinson's.
So Will can't blame her for side effects beyond her control.
That doesn't change the fact that she was out there fooling around with other men, and-- And you're asking him to suck it up.
Suck it up.
Will is devoted to Laura.
And I think I can save the marriage.
How? Deep brain stimulation.
Oh, why do you always want to do DBS? For real, again? Because it works.
It works.
I stimulate the brain, the Parkinson's symptoms decrease, and the pornography is relegated to Laura and Will's television set.
DBS is my magic wand.
I just kinda handed you that one.
Hey.
You want to grab some lunch? Mm.
I can't.
Then do you want to Mess around? Mm.
Yes.
But I have an appointment.
That you can't cancel? That I shouldn't cancel.
I'm Mm.
Mm.
I'm interviewing a couple of IVF specialists.
Huh.
Sam, I didn't mean to-- - No, no, that's fine.
- No, I didn't mean-- - any other time-- - Oh - Any other time, I would.
- That's fi-- I get it.
I-I didn't-- I didn't have a A condom on me anyway, so Sam, this is weird.
No, it's fine.
You-- You do what you have to do.
And it's It's fine.
Really.
Yeah? Mm-hmm.
Actually, I'm You know, I'm excited about it.
I I mean, I know I don't talk to you about it much, - but I could if you want.
- No, no.
You don't have to.
Are you sure? Yes, I'm happy for you.
I am happy for you.
But this is your thing And I-- Oh, sorry.
Am I, uh, interrupting? No.
Well, hey, that's a whole lot of uterine transplant research for someone who thinks it's a crazy procedure.
I am intellectually curious, but my opinion hasn't changed.
Well, that's a shame in this case.
I mean, the guys on the transplant team, they're fine for the job, but I'd prefer you.
Listen, Nina's checking in to the hospital tomorrow.
Go talk to her.
If you're still not interested, I'll leave you alone.
Promise? You hungry? Yeah.
Bonjour.
Violet, this is Annette.
She's Daisy's mom.
And this is Lynn.
Little Truman is hers.
And that handsome boy is my Leo.
What are you drinking, red or white? Don't mind Lynn.
She just stopped breast-feeding, and so she's making up for lost time.
Truman turned 3 and lost interest.
But we're still sharing a bed, so the bonding isn't interrupted.
Oh, you don't find that-- Uh, I mean, a family bed, it's great for bonding, but it can be a little tricky to, uh-- For what, a sex life? Yeah, honestly, that's not really on my list of priorities anymore.
So tell us about you.
Oh, I'm a-- I'm a psychiatrist And-- And a writer.
Oh, yeah, we all read your book.
Loved it.
- Yes.
- Oh, thank you.
Thank you, yes.
It was actually kind of painful to get it all out, and, uh, plus, I was practicing full-time.
So-- Did you write it to help with the preschool apps? Genius.
No, I-- Preschool? Lucas is only 2.
I'm sure that's fine, too.
Did Leo make up with his cousin? Yeah.
The bite barely broke skin.
L-Leo bit his cousin? It's just a phase.
Actually, not when he's-- How old is he, 5? Mm-hmm.
Most kids outgrow that by the time they're 3, so when they're Leo's age, that can be a-- A way of getting attention or dealing with stress.
Has he experienced any trauma lately? We should get some snacks for the kids.
I can help.
Oh, no, that's fine.
Uh, why don't you just wait here? Wow.
He comes with a stocked bar.
We definitely made the right hire.
I think your office is bigger than mine.
Not that I'd want to put in a bar.
Gents, thanks for taking me on.
And thank you.
Wow.
His office is bigger than yours.
And he's got a bar.
Sometimes, a woman needs a drink when you tell her she's infertile.
I know that's a little unorthodox, - but, uh-- - No, no, we're actually-- We're pretty relaxed around here When Pete's not dealing with his heart attack by yelling at people And Violet's not frustrated that she's still suspended And Charlotte's actually speaking to me.
- Yeah.
- What'd you do? Why assume it's my fault? - 'Cause it usually is.
- Okay, Jake doesn't know that.
- Did you apologize yet? - Repeatedly.
- Did you mean it? - Of course.
- Well, it might be time for flowers - Or dinner.
You guys know I'm married to Charlotte, right? Charlotte king? You know, apologies make sense to men.
Find the problem, fix it, right? That's kinda how we're built.
But, uh for women, the words don't really mean anything unless they understand that you get where their heads are at.
I mean, relationships are philosophy to them, not science.
You just gotta get Where Charlotte's coming from.
Oh.
Mm-hmm.
It's how I make my living.
I'm in the business of knowing women.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Kinda makes you sound like a pimp, though.
Yeah.
- It does.
- Yeah, a little bit.
Hi.
Hey.
Sorry that took so long.
I had to stop at the toy store to get some puzzles for Lucas and then I got stuck on a phone call.
I'm trying to get into a private mommy-and-me class that has a waiting list.
Where's Lucas? I put him to bed.
According to Sam, I'm a fully functional adult.
Fully functional? He said-- I'm cleared for physical activity.
All physical activity? Mm-hmm.
Thank you, God.
I had a gon' give gal she's years 2-oh and 3 she told me to take off my shoes she said, "you never really have to leave" Ooh.
Ahh.
Who are you and what have you done with my husband? I had a 10-minute girl now and ever since I had a 10-minute girl it's been easy and fun I understand where you're coming from.
I get it.
I get you.
You know, it's a, uh, it's a science, not a philosophy.
I mean, it's a philosophy, not a science, our relationship, and I just I hear you.
And I understand.
And I am sorry for everything.
What exactly is it that you understand? I have no idea.
Which is why you're still sleeping on the couch.
Yeah.
Are you really ready to just give up on 20 years of marriage without exploring every other option? Laura loves you.
That hasn't changed.
Now the medication made her-- She had sex with strangers.
Do you think the medication made her lie to me, too? Do you think it made her betray every single thing I thought we were about? I don't know.
I don't know how it affected her brain chemistry.
I don't know what was medication and what was choice.
But I think What I'm trying to say is that illness changes people, on the inside and on the out.
That's why the marriage vows say "in sickness and in health.
" Now I'm not saying it's gonna be easy.
What I'm saying is that you should hear Dr.
Shepherd out.
Hi.
Can I come in? Hi.
Yeah, I was just about to go buy some flowers.
I'm not gonna be any great shakes after surgery, so I want to make sure that Nina has something nice to look at.
See you later.
Okay.
Any time I got sick as a kid, my mom cleaned my room and brought me flowers.
I didn't realize that Gammy had done the same for her.
It's a pretty amazing thing she's gonna do for you.
You think I'm crazy.
No.
No, I don't.
But this is It's dangerous.
It is an experimental procedure.
You're risking hemorrhaging, organ rejection, and this is before you even get to implantation.
I know the risks.
Dr.
Reilly laid them all out for me, twice.
When I was younger, my mom worried all the time.
"Call me when you get there.
Who are you going with? What time will you be home?" I just thought she was insane.
And every time, she said to me, "when you're a mother, you'll understand.
" I want to be so close to someone that I know them from the moment they start growing inside of me.
I want a baby My baby To love and protect and teach.
So when I read about Dr.
Reilly's research-- It's not a guarantee that it will work.
But there are no guarantees in life.
But if something is worth having, you've gotta give it a try, right? Because if this works, someday when my kid is driving me insane with worry I'll finally understand.
So? Let's take the shot.
I'll implant an electrode where the nerve signals are generating your tremors.
I'm gonna be awake for this? Won't that hurt? Well, the brain has no pain fibers so all you'll feel is a pinch and a little vibration.
The electrode will connect to a wire that I will feed under the skin of your head, neck, and shoulder.
And then I'll place a neurostimulator under your collarbone, which will send electrical impulses to block the tremor signals.
With-- With all the poking around in my brain, I mean, you could damage another part.
What if-- What if I go blind? Oh, there's no chance of blindness.
It's a very targeted procedure.
I know this is a lot to take in, but Dr.
Shepherd is a very gifted neurosurgeon.
This could be good, Laura.
It could Get us back on track.
Yeah, but it's all Really terrifying.
More terrifying than life without me? Look, I don't mean to-- I'm scared, too, but you need this.
We need this.
I need to be able to trust you again.
Please.
Have the surgery.
I could've been screwing anyone.
I mean, I'm with my wife, and for all I felt, I could've been screwing a prostitute.
It was like I was watching the whole thing.
And-- And I felt Nothing, no connection.
Sometimes sex is just sex.
Yeah, well, for Violet and me, sex is pretty much always about connecting.
I mean, last night was Intense, but I-I don't know, it was different.
Is there any other time when you felt that kind of disconnect from your life? Maybe in foster care when I was getting the crap kicked out of me.
Did that happen a lot? Yeah.
When I was 13, I was put in this foster home.
They'd already taken in three other boys, and after the foster parents went to sleep, the boys would take me to the garage and just beat on me until they got bored or I was unconscious.
How did that situation resolve itself? Eventually, I fought back.
Broke the biggest kid's nose, and they left me alone.
And that disconnection, do you think it was some kind of a coping mechanism? To deal with my anger? Sheldon, I wasn't angry that Violet wanted to have sex with me.
Are you sure? All right, come on, Lukey.
You don't want to try the creamed spinach? It's organic and filled with antioxidants.
Come on.
Don't you want to learn to read before Truman? Don't want it.
You don't like it.
Could I have some of mine? Yeah, yeah.
All right.
Okay.
I'm just trying to do what's best for you - and for daddy.
- Yes.
He seems good, doesn't he? Mm-hmm.
Yeah, which is weird because he was so angry and distant, but then strangely hot.
Although, detached and Yeah, this is a completely inappropriate conversation to be having with my son, which I'm only having because the other mommies wouldn't talk to me.
Okay, you clearly don't want to eat, so you know what? There is no reason we can't both learn to speak a new language.
All right? El niño.
That means boy.
Boy.
That's you.
Would you say el niño? Right.
La madre.
Madre.
Mama.
That's me.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's me.
And loco.
Loco? That means crazy.
That's how la madre feels.
Jake left you a bottle, too.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's cool.
I like him.
Yeah.
You want me to take it for you? Whoa.
That is a $100 bottle of Pinot, Sheldon.
Hands off.
I'll-- I'll keep it for guests.
Even sober people have dinner parties.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Am I interrupting? Not at all, not at all.
I was just leaving.
Laura, are you okay? No.
I-I don't Yes and no.
I don't Um I-I'm not gonna have the surgery.
Uh I get it.
It's really scary The idea of someone cutting into your brain.
Oh, no.
It's not that.
I mean, blah, but It's, uh, I don't Want to give up my meds.
Uh I don't understand.
I like my meds.
I love my meds.
I'm sorry.
I don't mean to be dense here, but we're not talking about opiates.
I mean, your meds aren't addictive.
It's not addictive that, for the first time in my life, I don't care what other people think about me? For the first time in my life, I'm completely uninhibited.
Yesterday in the grocery store, I walked up to a man, and five minutes later-- Five-- We were doing it in the back room where they store the produce.
That is addictive.
I mean, would you look at me? I'm a-- I'm a kindergarten teacher.
I haven't bothered to wax anything in ten years because who cares? And suddenly Suddenly, I feel sexy.
I feel alive.
Oh, God.
I feel just connected to my body in ways that I forgot existed.
Everything's changed.
I can't give it up.
I-I don't want to go back.
Your husband-- No, I-I will use condoms.
I mean, no matter what, from now on.
I will keep Will safe.
I will.
I will.
But you have to tell him that the surgery's not an option.
Tell him that it won't work for me.
Please.
Please.
Laura You know you sound a little crazy, right? There is a certain high from the lack of inhibitions.
I get that.
I really do.
But how much are you willing to give up to hold on to that high? Dr.
Shepherd, I have Parkinson's.
I'm dying.
I'm not quite 40 so I don't actually have all that much else left to lose.
Lunch and Hi.
Hey.
Wow.
Violet.
That's a radical change.
You look fantastic.
- Oh, yeah.
Whatever.
- Hi, baby.
I was bored.
I am bored.
Do you want to have lunch with us? Uh All right.
Okay.
Lucas, auntie Addison is very, very hungry so I'm gonna go eat lunch with your mommy while you go and play with the pink whales in the sand.
Wanna go play? Hey, buddy.
All right.
Good guy.
Yeah, go water 'em.
Are you Are you hiding? I-I thought it was a woman from my mommy group.
You're in a mommy group? I went once.
Hated them all.
Mm.
That's a lie.
They didn't like me.
They're not even returning my e-mails.
Oh.
So I chopped off my hair.
I see.
You're very polite.
Well, I don't know what to say.
I mean You and I, we work together, but it's not like we've ever been friends.
Well, you used to sleep with my husband.
- You used to take care of my son.
- Okay, okay.
I thought of anybody, you would to, you know - All right, I think you're being ridiculous.
- Cut the crap and be-- Oh, wow.
No.
I mean, of course you don't like any of the mommies in the mommy group.
You have nothing in common with these women other than the fact that you all have children.
I mean, it would be like me Being friends with every infertile woman in town just because we can't have kids.
Yes.
Yes, yes.
God.
I feel better.
Good.
You know, I mean, here I am, trying to have a baby, you know, without Sam.
And that's weird, of course.
Obviously-- We were talking about me still.
We weren't done.
Right.
Sorry.
I'm just I'm just really lonely, Addison.
I am not a mommy-group mommy, and I'm not allowed to work, and my husband had a heart attack.
That's a scary sentence.
Thank you.
Do you want to be friends? I mean, is that what this lunch is Do you? I like your haircut.
I I think it's great that you want to have a kid on your own.
Yeah? I'm lonely, too, you know? Without Nai, I'm really lonely.
So We'll be friends.
We'll be friends.
Hey.
Hey, Sam.
Hey, how's your relationship going? Mine's great.
You should really think about Getting married.
Mm.
Hey.
Did you schedule Laura's surgery yet? She canceled it.
She is not interested in changing her behavior.
She wants to sleep around.
She even asked me to tell her husband that surgery is not an option.
Well, you can't lie to the man.
I am well aware of that, Charlotte, which is why I'm saying nothing at all.
So what, Laura just gets a free pass to cheat on her husband? How she chooses to live her life, that's her own business.
She's in a relationship.
No, that's-- That's not right.
Once you betray your partner's trust, it's hard to get it back.
Wow.
You're a bitch to me and to Cooper.
Who knew you had such range? Now that is a beautiful uterus.
Nicely done.
Thank you.
What do you think about Joanie Matthews? Uh, she's a bit of a-- An IVF mad scientist.
Brilliant.
Why? I'm just looking around.
Dave Atkins? Oh, he's real old-school-- Warm, great bedside manner.
I think you should meet with 'em both.
In fact, why don't you send me a list of who you're looking at? - I'll vet 'em for you.
- Thank you.
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, I am going to release the kelly.
There we go.
Damn it.
Okay.
The internal iliac's retracted.
I need to stop the bleeding.
We're gonna have to clamp the vascular supply proximally.
There's too much blood.
I need you to clear the field.
Damn it.
Okay it's retracted too far.
I need to embolize the vessel.
Cross her for six units and hang the FFP.
If you embolize the main vessel, it's gonna cut off supply - to the transplant.
- If I don't, I'll lose Nina.
Come on, Nina.
Hang in there.
Hang in there now.
You fought one hell of a fight in there, cowboy.
Lost, though.
Look, you tried, which is more than most doctors would've done.
It's more than I would've done.
You saved her life.
That's a win.
Not for me, it isn't.
There.
Yeah, silly pooh.
Hey.
Um, hey, before you go, I was thinking, I want to give the nanny a few more hours.
I want to start another book.
I think it'd be good for me.
Lucas is already gonna need therapy when he's old enough to read the first one.
Come on, Pete.
You're in the office every day.
You get to use your-- Your training, your intellect-- Every part of you is engaged.
And, uh, I want that, too.
I need it.
I can't believe it.
Already bored with motherhood.
You don't think that raising our child is important work.
Of-- Of-- Of course it is.
But I don't see why I have to do it to the exclusion of everything else.
And I think it's important that Lucas sees a woman who can work and be well-rounded and-- A 2 year old doesn't want well-rounded.
A 2 year old wants his mother.
So long, pal.
Bye.
Honey, it's not like I've been an at-home mother for the past two years.
Why is it such a shock that I would want to work and raise my child? What the hell is going on with you? I'm late for work.
I'm sorry, Nina.
I'm so sorry.
But we knew this was a long shot, right? We knew that, but we tried anyway because that was important to you.
You're young, you have the support of your family, and you will be a mother.
We can explore surrogacy now or you can adopt.
But I wanted to be like my mom.
I know.
And if your mom were here right now, she would tell you that it wasn't giving birth to you that defined her.
It was the first time you looked in her eyes and smiled.
It was the first time you fell asleep on her shoulder And she'd barely let herself breathe because she never wanted that moment to end.
You will have your baby However she comes into the world, and you will love her incredibly well because your mom taught you how.
And that's all that matters.
Okay? That's all that matters.
Hi.
Hey.
Thanks for, uh Thanks for meeting me here.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, is there a reason we couldn't meet at the office? Well, I was just hoping to, uh I guess speak to you as a friend rather than a-a doctor.
Um Okay.
I-I don't understand why or how you could do this to Will.
Well, that's because you and I aren't friends.
Fair enough.
Uh Well, what about That's gotta mean something.
With these meds, I don't have a really great editing mechanism anymore Okay.
So I'm just gonna say some things.
Uh My husband won't have sex outside of the missionary position.
And if he finishes before I do, he rolls over and he goes to sleep.
Early on in our marriage, when he caught me trying to finish after he was done, he called me disgusting.
Disgusting.
So he has some issues.
Uh, in this particular area, he has issues.
- And his issues have become my issues - Mm-hmm.
- Because that's what happens in a marriage.
- That's right.
And he has no interest in dealing with those issues.
And for the first time, I understand that, because I have no interest in dealing with mine.
I mean, we make a great team.
On so many levels, we're We're a great team.
So don't judge me.
Please.
You're not inside my marriage.
And you can't be inside anybody else's marriage, either.
Y-you have to know that.
Appearances They mean nothing, clearly.
Look at me.
She leaves us every chance she gets for these rooms full of strangers, who are desperate to tell her what a difference she made in their lives.
Violet decided to go on the book tour, huh? - She wants to write another book.
- Well, that's not the same thing.
Well, it feels the same.
Don't be such a baby.
Excuse me? You want the benefit of my expertise, as a friend, without paying? Well, with that comes the truth.
What are you afraid of, Pete? Sheldon, I worked in Bosnia in a war zone, I'm in the chaos of the ER every day.
I'm not a guy that gets scared.
I told you.
I'm angry.
I know what you told me, but a 14-year-old boy who's dumped with foster families isn't just angry.
And the disconnect you feel, that's not about anger.
So what are you afraid of? Hey.
Uh, I think you were right.
One of my favorite sentences in the world.
Right about what? About Laura.
I talked to her, and, uh, I guess it is her business, you know, what she's doing and what she tells Will.
It's not easy, but sometimes the truth is worse.
Yeah.
So I guess she'll have her high, he won't know, and hopefully It'll be better that way.
I'm drowning here, Charlotte.
And I obviously don't know what to do to save myself, and every time I try to say anything, it's like tying another cinder block to my ankle.
So If you just tell me what to do I will do it, whatever it is, happily.
Seriously, come on.
Tell-- Tell me.
Come on.
Tell me.
- Tell me.
- Stop it.
- Ch-- - You made me be the sheriff with you.
It sucks being the sheriff, and I'm good at it.
Everybody already thinks I'm the wicked witch of St.
Ambrose.
Everyone who? Everyone Amelia? Look, I don't care.
It's fine.
It's my job.
And the job isn't about making friends, but you're my husband.
Don't make me be the sheriff with you, too.
Look I don't regret Saving Kerri.
I don't.
But I do regret not having your back.
I will never put you in that position again, and I will not make you be the sheriff.
We should be able to tell each other anything, right? That sounds like the prelude to something bad.
No, no.
No, it's not bad.
- Sam.
- I-- If you have something to tell me No.
No, no, no.
It's not me.
It's you.
It's yesterday.
You wanted to talk to me about the IVF stuff, and I, uh, I cut you off.
And I'm sorry.
It's okay.
No, it's not okay.
We're together and, you know, we shouldn't have secrets or, you know, things that we're thinking about that we can't say.
Agreed.
Okay, good.
So tell me Tell me about the IVF, the doctors.
Is there anybody that you like? Um-- Sam.
Uh-oh.
Mm.
Thank you.
But really, I'm fine.
Okay.
on the other side all I want is gone on the other side I hope all is bright I'm afraid you think I'm a bad mother and that you don't love me enough.
I'm afraid I'll die before I'm done raising Lucas.
Oh oh oh I renamed the practice.
Did I tell you? Seaside Health and Wellness.
I thought about calling it Montgomery Wellness.
Bizzy would've told me to do that.
I mean, it is all of my money funding the place now.
But I didn't do it.
It is a cooperative practice, and the name reflects that.
A few years ago, I mean You would've gone with Montgomery? Yeah.
I would have.
So You know, no matter what, whatever happens, Sam has rubbed off on me.
His goodness, his Kindness, his honesty, his generosity of spirit Has rubbed off.
Oh, oh I do.
Oh See you at lunch.
Oh Cooper? Yes.
You don't remember me, do you? No.
I'm sorry.
Have we met? Nine years ago.
I was tending bar at the Key Club.
You came in, stayed till last call, we had sex in my SUV in the parking lot.
Erica.
Hi, Erica.
Yeah, hi.
Awkward.
Yeah, uh I'm married now.
I have a son.
He's 8.
Mm-hmm.
His name is Mason.
And he's And this is This is really not what I Anyway He's-- Well He's yours.
Oh oh oh