Ramy (2019) s03e10 Episode Script

we gave it all up for hot dogs

You good now?
W-what do you mean?
I think that's enough of a visit.
We've made plans. We have to go.
Uh, well all right,
w-where are you going?
Do could I could I come with you?
Okay, we don't have plans. I
just I think you should go.
Z-Zainab, please, I I've
barely even gotten to see her.
I've already missed so much, like
I wasn't even here when
you named her, you know?
H h-how are you feeling about it?
Like, a-are you sure about Amina?
- Am I sure?
- Yeah, like, the name.
Is it is it sticking?
Is she responding to it?
I don't know, maybe I have
a bad association with it
'cause I just have
this super-annoying aunt
named Amina, so I keep
thinking about her.
She's, like, one of
those people, you know,
that it always takes
forever to leave her house.
Like, she just keeps you at the door.
It's, like, a two-hour goodbye.
Like, I remember one time,
we're over for dinner.
She waits until we're leaving
to tell us she has cancer.
Like, cancer is dinner conversation.
Instead, we're outside in
the cold talking about cancer
that we find out later
isn't even real cancer.
It's, like, uh, one of
those 95% remission cancers.
It's basically like a wart.
And I'm like, "You
kept us out in the cold
to talk about a wart?"
I it's just not
I don't know, I just
keep thinking about that.
And I'm looking at my daughter,
and I'm thinking, "Annoying,
lingerer, fake cancer."
And, uh, I don't know,
m-maybe there's something
maybe it's not too late
to kinda switch it up?
Amina was my mother's name.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's right. That's right.
It is I mean, look,
it's a beautiful name.
Like, in our tradition,
that's, you know
and then there's your direct
lineage situation, and, uh
I see it.
Do you know what it means?
Yeah, of course. It's
like, Amina, like, um
like ameen, you know, like Doleen.
Ameen na.
Ameena, so which is, uh, "amen" too,
so it's very interfaith.
Like, I feel like at
school, that's, uh
that's good, uh
Amina means trustworthy, faithful.
I'm gonna take her down for a nap.
No, no, please, Zainab, look,
just just give me
a chance, all right?
I wanna be involved.
I wanna I wanna help.
I I'm I'm not like I was before.
- I I make a living now.
- Oh, we don't need your money.
I know what Maktoub is built on,
and I don't want it near my daughter.
How do you know? W-we
we haven't even talked.
You are a diamond district guy,
and you work with Abu Bakar Miller.
Did I miss something?
Y yeah, y-you're missing that
I've done what you've said, okay?
I I I paid the man
That was your Islamic duty.
It's also my Islamic
right to know my daughter,
t-to know that I even have a daughter.
No, it isn't.
You you basically assaulted me.
- What?
- I didn't consent
to having sex with who you actually are.
You pretended to be
someone else, and that
was emotional rape.
What? You can't throw that word around.
Yeah, this was grounds for an
abortion, but you know what?
I decided to move forward alone.
So she has a nap schedule,
and I don't want you
disrupting her life either.
Um, but based on what you've got,
I could see this place going
for 500, maybe even 550.
Yeah, but this one is pretty much
the same size as our
house, and it sold for 715.
Right, it it's just,
it's a little bit more modern
in its detailing, and they have a pool.
We have a pool.
Well, yeah, y-you have
an aboveground pool.
It actually kind of hurts
the value of the house.
You'd be better off with no pool.
See, people, they would
rather imagine a pool
than see an aboveground pool.
Really?
Yeah, crazy.
Uh
Would you be open to a stager,
someone to dress the place up,
make it a little bit
more sellable, you know,
get the right kind of
art and furniture in here?
What's wrong with our furniture?
Oh, no, no, uh, I just
I don't want you to be pigeonholed.
It's not your fault.
It's just, it's people,
they have no imagination.
You know, they come in
here, they feel the
ethnic energy,
and, uh, they won't feel
like they can live here.
But, uh, we'd get some more pastels,
some neutral pieces of art.
You know
Oh, uh what is this?
It's a passage from the Quran.
Oh, uh, uh, what's it mean?
It says, "God is merciful
and will forgive you all your sins."
That that is beautiful.
See, that's much better.
Just, do you see how much
more imaginative that wall got?
Yeah, look, I know it's very hard.
It's hard to part with things.
You've grown attached
to them. I understand.
But it can also
be very cleansing, you know?
Like Marie Kondo.
She really figured out how to
deal with immigrant clutter.
Try it.
What?
Try.
Maria Kondo.
You know, before working
here for this event,
I used to buy and sell stuff
for my father in Israel,
and, uh, we'd buy, like, you know,
scriptures for universities,
haggle with manuscript traders.
And one tafseer, you
know, talked about, uh,
your prophet, Muhammad,
and about God wanted to
communicate it to him.
He wanted Muslims to
pray 50 times a day, okay?
- So then
- Then the prophet meets Moses.
Oh, so you know this one.
Listen, Selim, so funny.
So then Moses says, "Come on,
I mean, negotiate, you know?"
"You know, God is full of mercy.
He will understand."
So, uh, then they go
back and forth, you know,
and then God goes down to 40 prayers,
and Moses says, "No." "Take it less."
Then God goes to 30 prayers.
Moses says, "No, take it less."
- Then God
- Yeah, they they get to
five prayers a day.
And and I'm really thankful
to to Moses, you know?
He he helped us out.
50 would have been a lot.
We used to help each other.
We used to help each other.
Did you did you even try to call?
Did you ask anyone to help Khaled?
- Who?
- The Palestinian kid,
the one I told you
about who got arrested.
Ah, yeah.
Listen, there's not much I can do.
I mean, you know,
it's a political issue.
It's complicated.
Um, y-you said that
that it would be easy,
that you knew people.
Listen, Ramy, we need to focus.
I'm here to offer you something.
As you know, Yuval left the business,
so, uh, now I want you
to get more involved,
you know, to to work
closer to us, to Selim.
Uh, yeah, um, there's
this younger clientele
Yuval used to handle,
we think you could help us with.
Yeah, I I don't think
that I want to do that.
This is small
But this watch is worth
more than your entire business.
I want you to go to see them, okay?
It's a very important client for us.
I thought you can handle them.
Yalla.
I'll send you the address.
Steve, watch out. He's coming.
He's coming. He's right here.
Steve, he's here.
He's here.
What's what's going on?
Look, I'll handle this, all right?
Look, Steve's getting engaged.
He's been pretty
involved in our marriages,
so we're helping him out.
As a businessman, you can
get as angry as you want.
But he's buying a ring from Naseem.
Steve, you you're
buying a ring from him?
C-come on, man.
We support small business.
I'm not a small business, you know?
Uh, I'm a lean business.
Lean is better less
riffraff like Walmart over here.
Look, let's not get our emotions
involved in this, okay?
We're just helping Steve haggle,
and we should involve
you, but you know what?
Your uncle gave us a price.
I'm gonna work you
guys against each other.
We're buying from Naseem.
What? You're gonna
ruin your market value!
I got him all worked up,
caught up in his feelings.
He'll probably go low.
Hell, he'll maybe go free.
He's not even free of his demons.
I'm not buying
from Ramy.
Good boy, huh?
Go lean.
I'll I'll walk you to the car, okay?
You don't have to walk
him. It's a button.
- Oh, wow, it's automatic?
- Yeah, he does it himself.
Maysa.
Mushrooms.
Shadi?
Mm-hmm.
Um, some kind of medical drug.
After he gave it to me.
We have to take him to rehab.
Farouk, he said it's a drug
that maybe would help me stop smoking
and save my life.
I found vape.
Vaping that?
You're smoking hot plastic.
Apples organic whole food.
Natural.
Oh, oh
Farouk, I know you did the cold turkey.
It's not easy, okay?
I'm not like you. I'm not a cold turkey.
Hold on with the socks.
What?
Are we gonna talk about the other night?
Hey, look, I'm I'm
really sick of talking.
- I I
- Oh, great.
So I'm just gonna
I'm just gonna act like
I forgot about it,
and we'll just do some role
play and fix your childhood.
What?
No, I I know Arab boys.
It's like, your moms babied you,
and I'm here to discipline you to
be able to have fun, huh?
Uh no, uh, this
This isn't fun.
Like, I'm I don't I'm not
I don't like coming here, okay?
I just have this fucking
buzzing in my head,
and when I fuck, it goes
away for a little bit.
But I'm not, like
It's never been
Touching someone's not
it's never been fun.
Like, I
I used I used to
think that I caused 9/11.
What?
Like, when I
the first time I ever
jerked off, it was
on 9/11/2001.
And, uh, I was already
really guilty about doing it,
and then I saw the news,
and I thought that it
happened because of me,
like I was the terrorist
that nobody knew about.
And I just I always thought
it'd be a matter of time
till they found out.
Like, I was I just
I thought I was gonna be arrested.
So
Yeah.
You didn't cause 9/11.
Thank you for saying that.
I don't actually think
we cause anything.
It's all written for us.
It's all planned.
So so you think you
think 9/11 was planned?
Well, maybe.
But what I mean is,
everything is planned by God.
Yeah.
This is nothing like hashish.
Not even close.
Every year,
I have this hope that the
kids will swim in it again.
Not the kids now
but the kids when they were kids.
Like, my eyes want to
see their little hands
coming out from the water,
asking for a hot dog.
I can't believe we used to
feed the kids with hot dogs.
You know?
We didn't know that they were pork.
My God.
Don't feel guilty.
It's not really pork.
It's a bunch of
unidentified meat pieces.
And
You know, halal is not really the
Standard here, so
it's okay.
We're in a different land.
We can seek halal as much as we can,
but we have allowances.
We're allowed a hot dog here and there.
We're in foreign territory, and
their food is hot dog.
We're in America, Maysa.
We're visitors.
- We're visitors.
- Yeah.
We've been here for 35 years, Farouk.
30 fucking years.
It's been a long visit.
Boomer was, um
she had these eyes like
like a human, you know.
N-not that I, you know,
needed her to look like
a human to love her.
Like, I think, you know, dogs don't
I didn't love her because
she she looked like
a a a person, but I just
it was just 'cause she saw me, you know?
She really saw me.
She pro she saw some things
I really wish she hadn't seen.
I think I think she
saw too much, you know?
Like, sometimes she'd be in my room,
but I I didn't
know that she was there
'cause she was so quiet,
'cause she was so good.
But then it would be like
Just I loved her.
Hmm.
In the name of the Father,
Son, and Holy Spirit, amen.
Do you, uh
Do you believe in fate?
Oh, you mean like if
she was meant to die?
I, um
I just found out I have a daughter.
What?
You're the first person I'm telling.
Oh.
Congratulations.
It's a really good use of that word.
Are you Muslim?
Are you a Muslim man?
- Aziz. Aziz.
- I know, Aziz.
- Aziz.
- Aziz.
Aziz.
Yeah, I'm Muslim.
Um
do you eat these hot dogs?
I do, yeah.
They're pretty good.
You don't care about halal?
No.
It's okay, brother.
We'll take four, inshallah.
Just, uh, choose them well.
I think they always tasted like this.
We pretended to?
Why did we sell our souls?
We gave it all up for hot dogs.
I I mean, this
does someone really need something
this expensive to fucking tell the time?
You don't even understand how
much these fucking assholes
spend on this stuff.
And and and Zainab's right.
Like, am am I gonna
spend my whole life just
selling them and and and just
I I used to want something.
You wanted God.
And and and that's why
I wanted to be with Zainab.
We had that.
You know what? The best sex I ever had
in my life was with Zainab.
She was good?
No, not not exactly.
I mean, it was her first time,
so it was kind of awkward.
And I wasn't really that
good of a leader in bed.
Like, I don't I didn't
know how to do that.
But I was
I was really in love with her.
I never had that before.
Like, I I grew up so
afraid of sex that I
I I I never found any love in it.
I I was so afraid of
God that I I never
loved God.
You you said that
everything's planned, but
There has to be choice.
When I touched Amina's
hand, I had this feeling
like I never wanted to do
anything for myself again.
I wanted to do it all for her,
all for God.
Sorry, just had to
kiss you one last time.
What?
I don't think I'm gonna see you again.
I think you're gonna make a choice.
Maybe fate's in your hands.
- Farouk?
- Eh?
I think I was trying to kill myself.
- The cigarettes.
- Oh.
I needed to get out of this body.
I needed to exit this body.
I was trying to kill, slowly,
every cell of this body.
I really need to
reconnect with the truth.
The truth
We're not selling this house, Farouk.
Ramy, we pay for
everything for him, okay,
and now he has to pay
for everything for us.
It's the circle of life.
Oui, mademoiselle.
He will pay, inshallah.
Inshallah.
Ramy.
He's back.
- Oh, it's Dena.
- What the fuck?
Did someone break in?
No, Dena, everything is okay.
Actually, everything is amazing.
Why are there broken
plates on the floor?
And and who took all
this stuff off the walls?
Ah
Ya Allah.
It's so clear now.
I know.
You guys okay?
We tried to remove God,
but Dena brought him back.
He's back.
We were behaving like
We are not
We were wrong, habibti.
- You were?
- Yes.
We taught you how to swim
but never really let you swim.
We fed you too many hot dogs.
We should have fed you God.
I don't understand what you're saying.
Is there something wrong
with your energy today?
Actually, I wanted
to talk to you guys about something.
But yeah, maybe tonight's
not the right time.
No, no, no, no.
Tonight is the perfect night.
Yeah.
Hey, Selim.
No, I I didn't see them.
Yeah, I'll I'll take the watch.
I have I, uh
Yeah, I have. Yeah.
Look, hey, uh, I gotta
I gotta I gotta go.
Wait, uh oh, yeah, okay.
Fuck.
Where the fuck where the fuck
where's the fucking watch?
It was in the fucking
right with the fucking thing.
I just had it in my hand. It was my
Did I fucking drop it?
Where the fuck is it?
So we've been seeing each other.
- Hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
We, um
we want to get married.
You want to get married
to the person I introduced you to?
Whoa.
These drugs
they make everything
seem like a fantasy.
And I get it if you're angry
that I skipped the test,
but I'm still focused on my career.
I'm gonna take the bar.
It's not just about being with someone.
We're not we're not just,
like, gonna have kids now.
I don't even know if I ever want kids.
Like, obviously, we'll talk
about it, but, you know
Just don't get involved, basically.
A very realistic fantasy.
You've reached Yuval.
I can't come to the phone right now
because I'm fucking your mom.
Please try again soon.
Yuval. Yuval, dude?
You gotta fucking call me, man.
See, this shit's
fucking it's not good.
I don't know where you
are, but it's not good,
and I need your help.
I gotta strategize some shit.
Selim and Ayala, they gave me a custom.
It's the most expensive
thing I ever held in my life,
and I don't know where it is.
I literally cannot find
it, and I and I
I think it got stolen, man.
Okay, I think it got stolen.
I I was with the hooker
at at my dog's grave, right?
And and we were
we were fucking chilling.
It was it was
sweet, but but she
she knocked me off the bench.
And I think she fucking picked me, dude.
Like, she, like, tackled me.
But I I thought it
was 'cause she was horny
'cause we were so we
were connecting, dude.
It was it was crazy.
We were sitting there,
and we were talking about God.
And then we started
making out, and then we
and then and it was
It was God.
It was God.
That's what that's what it was.
It was God.
Dude, we were 'cause I told her.
I told her I don't know how to get out.
And it it was G
it was God.
This whole day this whole day.
I saw how Zainab looked at me,
and I and I saw how she looked at me
like I was so fucking full of shit.
And and I had this
thing, and I didn't know.
I was like, I feel like
I have no fucking choice.
I gotta keep selling this stuff.
But I didn't have to choose.
God chose.
God chose. God literally fucking
I was God I had this thing,
and God's like, "No, you don't have it.
Literally, you don't."
'Cause I don't know where
this woman dude
I don't I called the
spa. I I literally
I called the spa so many fucking times.
I sent my boy. He was right over there.
I said to him, "Dude,
go check out this spa."
No one's there. I'm never
I'm probably never gonna
see this woman again.
I mean, she's dude,
I don't know her name.
She told me her name's Olivia.
She's Indian.
Her name is not Olivia.
It's actually not.
And I'm
I'm never gonna know what it is.
It's maktoub.
Bro, I it's maktoub.
We I'm we're not supposed
to have this money, man.
We're
I'll call you back I fuck.
We're not even supposed to
we're just not supposed to have it.
That's what it that's what it is.
And I don't fucking need them to help.
I don't need them to help get it.
I don't need them to help get it.
You know what?
This is some I don't even know.
We don't need we're not
supposed to have this money.
I'm not supposed to have
this. That's what it is.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
Allahu Akbar!
Allahu Akbar!
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu Akbar.
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